As my mother tells it, when I was young my dad asked my mom why they don’t have more kids. My mom said no, it’s too much work. My dad said for the next one he’d do 50%. My mom said for it to be fair, he should do 100% of the next one since she’s doing 100% of the current one. Fast forward 40 years and I’m still an only child. 😂
Wow, the audacity of that offer and the refusal to make the deal fair to both sides, for the sake of the children's well being tells a lot about how much men value women and children. I bet he was a better man than most to even have an honest talk like that and respect the woman's choice. 😂
People forget that no one ever asked to be here. They say life is a gift, but tell that to a child in pain. Tell that to the next generations facing hate, war, famine, trafficking, and poisons in their food, air, ground, and water. No one should have children until this world and the people are cleaned up and presentable enough to give to the next generation. Until then, women's wombs should be on strike.
Not even just pick up after it. They couldn't handle pregnancy and labor. There are changes and sacrifices you need to make to just give birth to a healthy baby, and I don't think most men would be willing to do it.
Most men have the attitude of, why should I change my life for my child, they came into my life, but they don't care how much women change and have to change.
Women shouldn't be willing 2 do it. Women want 2 love and be loved by kids. I say adopt or foster. I always thought pregnancy and birth was gross and scary. #nothanks
I was born in 1955. I grew up during the period when most married women were housewives. I do remember hearing about women not needing to work. However, I remember my mom, my grandmothers, and aunts cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the children. They sewed and mended clothes. They canned and froze food. Washing clothes was a bigger chore back then with ringer washers and two separate tubs of rinse water. Women had to put up clothes lines and then attaching wet clothes with clothes pins to the lines. People said married women didn’t work, but they did work.
I was born in 54, and I totally agree with you! My adopted father was abusive, and I asked my mother why we didn't leave? And she told me, because we had nowhere to go! I said we could get a house! She said no, we can't! I really didn't understand then that women didn't have any rights! I thought she was scared to leave! Now, I understand. My mother left him in the 70s! 😢😢😢😢😢
And fully credit the SSI retirement accounts. The elder wmn who stayed home w/multiple children get a pittance percentage of his SS - *if* they remained married long enuf.
Women ALWAYS worked. We didn’t fight for the right to work per se. We fought for the right to GET PAID. I’ll never be a housewife unless my husband sets an checking and retirement account in my name only. Housework is real work and real work comes with benefits.
Most women shouldn't be moms. So many are terrible at it. The quality of the single moms out here?... yikes. These people should've aborted their pregnancies for sure.
It doesn't even make sense, women are the ones taking birth control, women are the ones having the obortions, we're always the ones allocated the responsibility over the fetus, over its gender (wrongfully), over its health and some women even get blamed if they lose the baby...we get off days on the kids when the fathers want to play with their children. There are good fathers, but I will never know if he is before making my body go through hell, so why would any man think they got the control over our wombs. Weirdos.
All of this is exactly why I never wanted kids. My hats off to mothers all over the world, but no man is worth subjecting my body to pregnancy & childbirth. I’m not sacrificing my career to become a live in maid & cook.
There is a song by Missy Elliot where she says "Can I stay wit chu? Do u need some help? I cook boy...." Many women market themselves as free chefs and maids 2 get men--that's the only reason men live w/ women.
Just realised, funny how men claim to be providers then blame shift to GOD HIMSELF???? God actually said a good father leaves an INHERITANCE for his CHILDREN AND their kids. Only rich men can have kids AS PER THE BIBLE ITSELF. Wow.
Was having a conversation just this morning with my husband about how a woman's body is changed irreparably through pregnancy. They literally can tell from your bone structure that you have given birth. Men are out here like we do nothing when even after a woman is dead they can tell you if she ever gave birth.
The ligaments in the pelvis loosens during pregnancy, and the pelvis widens. Also, for some women their feet get wider and flater which tends to be permanent as well.
@@sarahcover7248 As someone with huge hips I literally cannot fathom them getting any wider. Also, my beloved shoe collection took years to accrue and the idea of wider feet makes me wanna cry.
I grew up poor with financially irresponsible/illiterate parents hearing "everything will work out" which is the secular version of "God will provide". Yeah it worked out cuz I worked from age ten so we could EAT. Its not god providing your electricity, its whatever family member has an actual survival instinct providing.
Not just the pet thing. Lots of men have a "breeding kink" and others have severaly romanticized the idea of making a baby with a woman and watching the miracle of their baby grow inside her but don't think much past that; like the fact that the pregnancy will eventually become a whole, separate, helpless and needy human being. Yes, between two adults that truly love each other, creating and nurturing that pregnancy can be an amazing and beautiful thing, but there are a lot of downsides to that as well. (I say that as a woman that wanted kids my whole life and as one of those "crazy" ladies that absolutely loved being pregnant).
Real. I wish men would romanticize the part of loving being a father to their children after birth as well. I'm the same as you, except that I was never actually pregnant and don't have children. I love the idea of being a mother but above all, to give my future child a loving father, something I never had myself. Most of my close friends are men, and they're sweet, loving people, but it's more common for me to see women romanticizing the part of nurturing and caring for their future baby than men, and this is very sad. All I want in a man, as a friend or partner (when I'm ready, cuz I want to work on myself before thinking about relationships), is for them to see me as equal and genuinely care about me and our future child. But the average man isn't like that, unfortunately. It's good to try figuring out if a man just have a breeding kink, or if he genuinely wants to be an actual *father* and be there for the mother when she needs it.
@@kdphotos4691right I always think about that when I see a TH-cam channel where they have 9 kids and counting.. And people in traditional households where the trad mom has like 4 kids and has to take care of all of them while simultaneously baking bread in the morning
South asian woman here- Went out with a dude once and we were discussing our futures and I told him that I want to stay single and not have kids. His immediate response was- "Oh but what would you do when you get older? Won't you feel lonely?" I was like- "I'll think about it when the time comes😂". He then went on and explained how he always wanted to be a father, and have a family. He also said that his wife would always be his "second priority" because his parents raised him so they would be his first😂😂 In my mind I was like "Yeah this is exactly why, I don't want to". A woman would be leaving her family, leaving her job, destroying her health, taking that financial hit, doing all that emotional and physical labor, just to be your second priority?? Yeah ok bro😂😅 good luck on that. I actually didn't say anything to him at that point but wanted to walk away right then and there, but too bad we had already ordered. I also didn't explain my point, because I was too lazy and thought the next girl should do that working😂😂😂 We ate, drank, made out, then I ghosted him the next day🎉
My dad got married 6 times... not to my mom. And every time he would beat them up. My step moms have had broke heads, legs and arms.. my dad burned down my house. Im only alive bc MY CAT SAVED ME. Cat lady for life! My dad punched me in the head when I was 1... my mom got married 2 times and both times she got abused. My step dad would kick my 1 year old brother. Not before marriage only after marriage do these people change. Why would anyone put themselves in that situation. And thats kust my life. Thats not even my friends. I had a friend who was with a dude for 9 years and then got married and he started cheating and abusing her in 6 months. And you know whats the f part. Society blames the woman. She should have chose better. It was her choice right. So stop making that choice. I did. I will not get married
I would never marry a man who was divorced 5 times... I get it sometimes you choose wrong but if you had more than 2 divorces it means you're the problem.
I just had a conversation with my ex about motherhood and how it does not benefit women. He is still salty about it. He says that the fact that I have two people who love me, should be considered a benefit. I told him that I have other people whom I haven't birthed who also love me. I also stated that it has cost over $500,000 to raise these two people. This money could have been in my retirement account. Also, I stated that my body is still paying for having given birth, despite my "baby" being a 20 year-old man. Nothing in my body has been the same and never will be. I went on to state how I was also a cow for my children, so they were literally sucking away my life force. Let me be clear: I adore my children. This doesn't change or take away the fact that it's still not been beneficial to me, really. Males do not care that this is true. They want their lineage to go beyond them, and 99% of them are not worthy. We must keep this in mind, and also the life-altering effects of motherhood. Edit: The poor dude speaking for his children not being affected by living poor is so typical of the male perspective. All children, unless they live in an abusive environment, use their imaginations, period. The fact that this dude is saying that this replaces the children going without is sick and I feel like his children will get the hell away from them when they're older.
the chemical bonding is really brainwashing, and I say that with love as just a fact. Without that, we'd go extinct we literally have to be brainwashed hormonally as women to do it.
Evolution isn't even kids, but grandkids. So if their kids are traumatised by paternal neglect including dissociation into video games in the same room, no grandkids so the "investment" was utterly wasted from a cold math perspective. So much for logical, huh? Edison had tons of kids but has ZERO surviving in his direct line. Extinction also applies to family lines, obvious in names.
The payment your body makes for giving birth is a life long thing. Then when you get to my age, 58, you have menopause to contend with. This is the most awful experience I've been through beside birth itself. Everything you used to do to your body to take care of it before pregnancy and childbirth does not work and it works even less when menopause hits. OMG, if anyone had told me about it before I hit my 50s, I would never have had kids. I love my son (he's 33 now) but you're right when you say it doesn't change the fact that it's not been beneficial to my life. And before all you naysayers bleat on about how I don't love my son as if I'm saying he wasn't worth it: if I never had kids like was my original plan, I never would have known him. And you can't miss what you've never had. Seeing as how I'm 4B now and have been for at least the last decade, whether my body is in swimsuit shape is irrelevant to me. I just want to be healthy, strong and mobile and if that comes with some irremovable belly fat or cellulite on my thighs, who cares?
I have a 4 year old toddler with a dad who had abandoned him. I'm always tired, i never have money even with a government job, and my body never bounced back. I love him so much my advice don't do it.
I call this the Reality Check when a woman is pregnant I see her being lied to and she's super happy then a little while later all the kids she planned after mysteriously don't happen. They go after childfree women about the birth rate but REALLY they need to ask the One and Done.
We also need to acknowledge that it's not just fewer women wanting to have kids, it's that fewer couples who *want* kids are able to have them. I checked, and over the last few years demand for fertility care services has grown, not shrunken as you would expect if there was a mass movement toward anti-natalism. The current theory is that pollution, stress, overwork, rising temperatures, and our broken food system are responsible, but the trend for later childbearing is also a factor. *Most of these things are tied to four decades of pro-income inequality policies!* In short, corporate conservatism around the world has been creating this problem for 40+ years, but now they're blaming feminism for something that's their own fault. 🙄
Absolutely! Let's hope that a few generations of only rich people having kids will lead to workers wages rising again. No workers = workers can demand more.
@@DoveAlexa Exactly! That's why the people fretting most about the "birth dearth" are the 1%. They like having multiple applicants for each job. It's classic Supply and Demand... and they don't like the thought of being on the "Demand" side of the equation.
Men saying that they are the ones who started the whole No Child For Me is laughable as he// Now all of a sudden they accept that they can control getting women pregnant, instead of the whole "Well she let me get her pregnant". Now they saying that they've had enough at the same time as calling us selfish for not wanting to have kids. So what is it? Women are selfish for not wanting kids, or men are no longer getting women pregnant?
Notice how organized the 4b movement is, and how we have so many. Now look at the men who have maybe half as many members in their combined "movement", not knowing what side they choose, why, and what arguments to use. They have no community. It's clear to everyone that women are winning, anyway lol
"being poor doesnt stop you from being a good father" it does when you can't even afford insurance, but are still earning a little too much to qualify for government health insurance. It does when you have to teach your child to eat half of their lunch at school and bring the rest of it home for dinner. It does when you come home to find an eviction notice stuck to your door. It does when you need to go to work but you dont have anyone to take care of your baby. Proper childcare is essentially behind a paywall and the people who suffer the most are the children of the parents who were deceived into believing they can be poor and raise a child
These men still haven’t realized how global this is. It’s not just American women but let me be quiet, please continue going your own way. Talk to the trees and walls like y’all said y’all would. 👌🏾
The comment about men wanting to pass on their legacy is spot on. I've heard it many times from men, that they would like a child to pass on the genes and the last name, to have them overtake their business and so on. Nothing about actual parenting. And when asked about what they would like to do with their child, many men answer something like "play football and build Lego with them". Cool, but these are activities for older children, what about when they are little babies? And, coincidentally, these are the activities those men themselves like. What if the child despise Lego and football, but love ballet and drawing? Men literally want a playmate, not a child.
I stayed home with my kids for six years, because I could not earn enough to put two children in daycare. There is no more thankless job than being a mother, and no other job will so directly lead you into poverty. My exes are both homeowners now, after refusing to pay enough child support to keep the house where I was raising our children. They thought fatherhood was optional, and they hated me more than they loved their kids. That is something I’ve observed in a lot of divorced fathers, including my own.
@SigFigNewton pretty sure m about not liking men, and most men arent worth the risk. Then again, i havent finished the vid yet,so ill edit if anything changes my opinion
@@SigFigNewton nope, there's lots of viewers of this channel who like and have kids, and in case you missed it BnB herself is a mom of 2. Upholding motherhood as women's only beneficial contribution to the world, or sugarcoating the sacrifices and day-to-day difficulty and tedium of motherhood, is what we don't do here.
The comment from the man with 4 kids is typical male rhetoric. I bet his wife doesn't hold the same sentiment. She's probably the breadwinner , plus does 100% of the home & kids . 😢 That's the only reason why he thinks that 4 kids & being poor isn't a problem. 😞
1) his wife helps with the bills, or if she is a SAHM then she does a lot of planning, scrounging and saving to make ends meet; 2) he does not know about all the WORK that goes into how the household keeps running, he just knows that it magically does; 3) the older kids are already outsourced to be free baby sitters to the younger kids; 4) he truly, truly does not know or care about his kids having to do without when compared to their classmates. They are still alive and that means they have enough (according to him).
It's interesting that all of these guys who really want to be a dad don't want to do it by themselves. Why is it that if they want it so bad they don't just do it themselves like so many women have.... Oh that's right, they don't get to offload The not fun parts to a woman if they were by themselves.
I know a decent guys who grew up in a family where both mom and dad were present and raised the kids. He did the same and made sure he sons grew uo seeing that. All his sons are married and good hands on dads. Hes now a hands on grandpa. He saw how men werent like his dad growing up and his dad taught him a family eorks together. I wish there were more like him. He has his own car seats for his grandkids, toys, a crib and takes the grandkids so his kids have time fir themselves. He is so different from most men.
My brother didn't start having children until he was 45 bc he said he wanted a wife, not a baby mama. I have to admit he's a loving and present father. I think when you really want to raise a child, it's a totally different experience than one than wanting to have a baby.
Over my dead body would I have kids. I'm educated, still going through hell trying to get stable income, I've spent my whole "career" so far getting f-ed over by employers. We have no labor rights in the US, not like they do in Europe, we also have no work life balance. Europe gets like a month of PTO, we get nothing mandated at all. Housing won't stop increasing in price. There is no transportation network developed and cars are both expensive and getting more dangerous with road rage, traffic, and distracted drivers... I don't even know if I can keep myself alive and fed, let alone a kid. Want kids? Make a country that doesn't suck! They've been kicking a dozen cans down the road for decades and now all that willful negligence to sustainably develop this country came home to roost. Anyone in the US having kids is delusional and setting themselves up to fail. I'm sick and tired of everything SUCKING in this country. It's hard enough as a young single person... Imagine being a parent! With fulltime work I barely have time to keep myself alive and get enough sleep to avoid an all-day next-day migraine.
People who claim raising kids isn't expensive do not and don't intend to raise the kids WELL, with enough food to eat, money to clothe and shelter, good childcare/education, and money so they can actually enjoy the life they are living.
Yes and kids pick up on that stuff they know when their parents are stressed about money. It can cause the children to feel guilty of having basic needs.
poverty trauma is a thing and the damage is seen on the brain LIFELONG. also from experience, don't bother. They don't care about neglect of basic needs including some that cost a lot of money like socialising and school trips. I missed literally all my school trips abroad, it ruined me socially and resentment is the obvious consequence, lifelong rage at it. Happens all the time. I also know OF childfree pacts among poor kids, they are a thing in sibling units so those men popping out tons of kids have another thing coming. Pun intended. Their investment is being ended by the kids saying "no grandkids, agreed?"
@@sarahcover7248 emotional abuse includes shaming the kid for having needs including social needs which cost money, shelter, food etc. A kid doesn't have to be grateful to live like a literal pauper, even in Dickens London 1850s inflation was pretty STABLE and kids had a BETTER standard of living compared to now, imagine that??
I resented never, ever having *anything* new when I was a kid. Coming back after Christmas break was painful - kids compare about what all they'd gotten ... & they're not civilized about it, either.
Historically, women had to get married and start having kids. She was seen as property. In order to survive, since she didn't work outside of the home, she was reliant solely on her husband. So, take that equation out and what do we get? Just how many women really WANT kids. If many women have been told from a very young age that life is about falling in love, marrying and having kids, would she ever question it? Yes, there are some women who desperately want kids for whatever reasons. But, now that more women know that they are not alone in their less than ideal interactions with men because of social media, more are feeling heard, validated, and almost given permission not to do anything they don't really want. Take away society and family pressure, and then add the likes of men (and some women) like JD Vance who thinks all a woman is good for is breeding, and how many women really want kids?
A point you brought up - women were property. We didn't have any other choice for survival other than marriage or whore house. When women have freedom - do they naturally choose to bind themselves to men? Worldwide - it doesn't appear so.
Men in German speaking countries are a whole new level of entitled, PERVERTED and DEPRAVED. Hats off to you for even putting up with them in a non-romantic capacity.
There was just a story of a guy that was arrested for kidnapping women with the intent of turning them into a baby making factor to create an army. The story was out of Oregon. Truly wild stuff. It’s imperative to be on birth control for a multitude of reasons but that story definitely takes the cake.
technically that is a power and control grapist if you wanna see forensic psychs talk about it on this site, a lot of babytrappers seem to be this type
Both control is bad for us, but pregnancy is worse... God, I hate and love being a woman at the same time. I love our community, but I'm not sure I love what we have to deal with.
My favorite thing about this entire conversation is the fact that this coming from more women who are wives and moms. It seems like when us single childish women say things like this the world gives us all kinds of shit. And I know they give you all crap too, but I’m just glad that someone has our back.
“like a child wants a puppy” I feel called out 😅 When I was a pet parent, I was actually more of a pet sibling, despite initially promising I’d take care of my dog without burdening my other family members. Once my labrador puppy was home, everyone instantly got attached and contributed to raising him, and I was more than happy to let them do the bulk of the work. In my defence, I was just about to start high school when we got him, so more immature than neglectful. I played with him every time he wanted to, I spent lots of time hanging out with him (to keep him from feeling lonely, as well as enjoying his company), I brushed his fur regularly (bathing was someone else’s department), I fed him every time my schedule coincided with his meal times (otherwise he was always fed on schedule by a stay-at-home family member) and I loved him more than I’ve loved most people I’ve known. RIP Kenny I’m pretty sure I’d never have the patience to put up with some of the stuff these women endure on a daily basis. It would drive me up the walls.
TLDR: poverty kills and hurts people all over the world including in the US. That Wellamazoo guy has lost his mind. He should go and tell the millions of dead children that die from poverty and their parents how god just magically provides and poverty doesn't matter. Tell the mothers of children who die in drive-by shootings who can't afford to leave the ghetto that money wouldn't have saved their children. Tell my former acquaintance's parents that their 2 sons, their only children, getting killed in a terf argument that their family being in poverty had nothing to do with it and god provided for them. They were unarmed. The police let one of them bleed to death in the parking lot on the pavement even though paramedics were there and his cousins tried to put him in their car so he didn't die alone on the pavement and the cops literally threatened to kill them if they did. We all know why the cops did that and it was because of class and that they were Mexican. I have never seen a person as broken as their mother was. She looked so sad that she could barely breathe. The entire funeral she just cried the only time we heard anything from her was when they lowered the caskets. We had to hold her back from getting in one of their graves she was screaming and crying out. I have never seen or heard of a drive-by or a terf war in middle or upper class neighborhoods. I have never heard of police stopping paramedics from saving a life in a middle or upper class neighborhood. I have never seen a person in the upper-middle or upper class die because they couldn't afford medical care. I have never seen or heard of a middle or upper class person dying because they froze to death in downtown Denver because they were homeless. I could go on about how many people I watched slowly die from drug addiction because they were to poor to get help. I could talk about friends who died from overdose or suicide because they were in a lot of pain and they couldn't afford therapy and/or health insurance. I have seen a lot of horrible crap from poverty and I was in poverty until I was 25 and I am disabled now so I am back in poverty again. If God exists God doesn't provide. God doesn't care if children starve, get killed, have drug addicted parents, get pimped out by their parents, and a million other horrible things. Sorry for the rant, but that horrible and ignorant man clearly doesn't understand reality and he doesn't want to. I watched so many horrible things happen as a kid and young adult that will haunt me for the rest of my life because of poverty.
Note that "declinining birth rates" is referring to the RATE. The human population is still increasing at an unsustainable rate, but it's gradually getting better. Mostly because women in more and more parts of the world are gaining access to birth control and financial autonomy that they didn't have in the past, so now they have the CHOICE to be more than some man's incubator. Even the women who do want kids, can now CHOOSE to have only 1 or 2, rather than 10. Then there's also the fact that people are starting to realize that children are sentient human beings. Which should be obvious at first glance, but has historically been ignored. Children in the past were viewed as servants and labourers; parents had children because of what (they expected) the children can do for them. This culture is starting to reverse, and people are now asking themselves what they can provide for a child. (Which often means that even people who WANT kids remain childless, because they know they wouldn't be able to provide the quality of life that a child deserves)
@@BurbNBougie Yeah I just mentioned it because I often see people conflating "declining birth rates" with "declining population" and acting like it's a problem to panic over while we have 8 billion people on the planet.
Some idiot said that we are in an underpopulation crisis. Stupidity. We are brutally overpopulated. Of course women are blamed. And in North Korea they are banning contraception and abortion instead of, you know, feeding the population.
My shit head ex-boyfriend had a lot of shit head friends and the one we would hang out with the most had fathered four babies with the same woman in about a four-year time span all before they were twenty-two. He hated his girlfriend, partially because she was always pregnant. I met her a few times; she looked like she was barely there. Anyway, my ex was saying something about how he had fucked up with all these kids and the friend was like "are you kidding? I'm gonna start a business". This guy was a perpetually broke idiot who (stole over $400 from me but that's not the point) was never serious about anything, but he was serious about this idea that since he already had all these kids, he might as well put them to work. And since they were young, he wanted to see how many more he could squeeze out of his girlfriend. "I hate her but she's the one who keeps coming back." It's been 12 years since all that and I desperately hope that woman got clear and they stopped the Family Business at four employees. I have so many stories about what a terrible person that guy was and this is actually one of the ones where he comes off well.
that's a sociopath they obsess over money and exploiting labour, Danielle Radin discusses it. Thankfully domestic slavery is literally a crime internationally so that would be illegal.
Literally had to dry my hands in the shower to comment on your video, there are studies that have shown that poverty causes brain damage. So, while your children might be forced into resilience, there are other ways to teach them this.
Constant stress about the future and living conditions, often parentification for their own drunk parents, extreme (sometimes deadly and translated into adulthood) fear of failure as you have no safety net, social humiliation when status flex among peers occurs. It's no joy in the park. Fathers who think military boot camp of survival (instead of living) in all kinds of physically and emotionally unwell conditions during formative years is some "God's providence" goals childhood need their heads checked.
Id also like to point out that moms dont get a retirement right... but these dudes are complaining there will be no one around to help with retirement... so now they know how it feels to be a mother. The only way a woman does get retirement is from being the opposite of a mother.
I can't count how many men have told me "women just need to trust more (that this time this guy is good)". While the amount of times a man has talked about how the fellow MEN need to change is way fewer, unfortunately. It's always the woman's fault. Even if she was the victim.
I hear so many older people complain that us youngsters don't take marriage seriously, but almost all of them are cheating. Both my parents and grandparents were unfaithful, me and my bf see his dad out visiting his mistress, but give them an opportunity to talk about marriage and kids and suddenly its us non-adulterous children that don't understand commitment and sacrifice 🙄. Like maybe we are the only ones that understand it, and thats ehy were opting out.
Dang, you are polite! I would have immediately brought up the mistress and other evidence, then grabbed my bf’s hand and walked out of there. I cannot put up with people like that.
Thats funny 😅 i thought i was the only woman asking men serious questions about parenting. If men can't take care of themselve what gives them the opportunity to ask for children? Alot of men with children don't even know there children birthday.
@@seabreeze4559one guy years ago kept telling me that he loved kids. I guess he thought that was supposed to trigger the mom gene or something in me 😂 I went to a kid organization and gave him the volunteer documents to fill out. He made so many excuses, could barely speak proper English anymore lol and then kept asking me if I was going to volunteer. 😅I told him straight: “I haven’t been walking around talking about how much I love kids and I wanna be a big influence in their lives. You’ve been saying that, so what’s the problem?” He never volunteered and he didn’t even write his name on the document. Just crumpled it up and put it in his back pocket.
@@indigoGoddess7 men have told me they want a football team of kids and I'm like how much childcare experience do you have? blank stare. well, how many hours dya wanna spend with the kids PER DAY? 0 basically. they think kids are goldfish.
Children are a luxury. They cost not just financially, but in time, emotion, mental load, etc. I always knew I wanted to be a mom, and I am lucky my partner is active and engaged in our child's life. But I fully understand why so many people are choosing to be child free.
According to one chart I saw the decline in birthrates has more to do with the drop in teen pregnancy than grown adults not having kids. Fewer babies having babies means fewer babies. If the chart was accurate it wasn't an alarming thing that governments are making it.
I don’t know if I’m expensive (I probably am) but when people with families tell me their expenses is only like $2200 a month I look at them and wonder. My expenses as a single woman is about that. Granted. I eat what I want. I’ll buy steaks, seafood, done in nice places, eat out multiple times a month, I go out to bars occasionally. I literally look at them and wonder HOW? I be in some sort of emotional turmoil about children, sometimes it stresses me to think about where I would be or doing if I had kids 😭 Then I realize I don’t and relax because I literally don’t want to sacrifice anything! Like nothing at all!
blatantly neglecting those kids, oddly a lot of fertility problems in young people now are rooted in neglecting nutritional needs from their parents, same ones pressuring about grandkids, so their neglect LITERALLY STERILISED their kids with PCOS and low sperm counts etc.
1. I never wanted to have children biologically. I wanted to adopt later in life. 2. When I did get pregnant, I decided not to get an abortion because I truly believed that the community resources available to me would be enough to help. I didn't know about all the different caveats, the fine prints, or the term-limits. Most of the resources were no longer available before my child even reached school-age. 3. I was punished with CPS for staying in a harmful relationship while pregnant, then punished by my family for leaving the father. 4. When was in the mental hospital 6 months post-partum, the way I was prescribed meds was based on the doctor's decision on whether or not to prioritize the protection of my reproductive health. I was never asked whether or not I even wanted (more) kids. It was just decided I was the right age and deemed not too crazy. Turns out I was ALSO misdiagnosed and more "unfit" than they initially thought. My ability to birth was more significant than accurate diagnosis and treatment. 5. I've been criticized for saying I feel like I was "too young" for motherhood. I was 19 when I gave birth. I was still a -TEEN, but because I had graduated high school and was over 18, that in itself is society's only criteria for a woman's readiness to birth. 6. Baby daddy didn't even attempt to co-parent for the first few years of my child's life and only showed up on father's day consistently. Even kiddo's bday was a coin flip. Just for the aesthetic. While I'm grateful he's more involved now, it is still only for the fun stuff. 7. Any relationship I've had since baby daddy inevitably turns into me being accused of trying to find a step-daddy the second my relationship gets serious. 8. I sacrificed my entire autonomy to stay with the very family I SWORE to get away from after high school, just so I could have SOME inkling of help and village raising my child, albeit on the more dysfunctional side of things. I graduated top 10% of my high school class and ended up stay at home caretaker for a household of 8-10 (it fluctuates based on family drama) 9. Despite EVERYTHING I've mentioned above, I'm still not eligible for benefits. I don't have much work history at all, and a massive gap now. I don't get to claim my own child as a dependent because it was best for our family financially for someone in the family other than myself to be legal guardian of my child, even though I still do 60-80% of her daily and mundane responsibilities myself (transportation and food are delegated). And I'm still expected to enter the workforce, criticized for not having a job, and stigmatized for my mental health that I can't even get treatment for anymore. 10. Society really loves to judge and shame every mom's path with such scrutiny, then expect mom's to do everything under the sun completely alone without any help. And don't even get me started on the expectation for but criticism of pageantry too; you're not supposed to let yourself go after becoming a mom/wife, but you're not supposed to look TOO hot, either, because that means you're spending too much time on yourself that you should have been spending on the children/home. 11. I love my kid with all my heart. I don't always like being a caretaker. It's hard. It's REALLY hard and stressful.
@BurbNBougie thank you for this video! I'm definitely going to have to check out some of your others! Today is one of the better days so far! I hope yours is going well, and that your week goes smoothly! While what I shared is a LOT to take in, things are starting to look up! The life situation I'm in is still tough and stressful, but my mental health and how I cope with things has significantly improved. The lessons of the past year have been game changers: -it's okay to prioritize yourself even if you're a mom. Put your oxygen mask on first. -You can't help others as effectively when you yourself need help, and it's okay to ask for it. -when you decenter romance and seek village/community of shared values, you find love in abundance -even though self-help isn't the same as an extensive team and treatment plan, familiarizing myself with schema therapy concepts has been so helpful - unmasking is hard, but it's worth it. If an immediate environment requires masking to avoid repercussions, finding safe spaces to unmask becomes essential to my self care routine to avoid burnout.
I think women shouldnt have kids until they are paid the full salary in a lump sum. So the scientists said a mother is worth 150,000 a year x that by 18... thats what i want in a lump sum and then will talk about more babies for this country imo.
These billionaires should know that to get money, you gotta spend some. And in shrinking society, especially with growing chasm between few rich and wider society that can't afford anything so does their power. Less people believe in money, more do in brute force. And that tiny thread of belief is what holds all the economy together. If they want worker bees or anyone around to flex on, they gotta invest in them first. Babies don't pop out of nothing, they need resources.
Every time shrinking birth rates come up they blame modern women and claim it's not an issue of finances or paternal abandonment because some women in poor countries give birth more. They fail to realize that housing in poor countries is dirt cheap but everything else is expensive for them so the hardest to get part that no good samaritan will just hand to you is easier there. The most foundational need for child bearing is a roof over your head which is dirt cheap in poor countries while energy, services and food is pricey. It's easier to barely scrape by than in the west but harder to thrive. Poorer countries also have more loyal men but not do to nature but because it's harder to stray when you're broke. Men stick around more, entertainment is expensive, unprotected sex happens out of boredom so there are more kids.
I just had this conversation with a man- said he wanted to start a family and he said "it just feels right" & "legacy things"- From my perspective, this just seems like what people say when they don't know what to do with their life & haven't even really considered the reality of being a parent. So many people become parents for existential reasons. I always think it's so easy for men to say they want kids, too. People don't always actually want what they say they do- and kids deserve present & responsible fathers. That said, the economy is so bad people don't even feel comfortable actually having kids anyway.
I am absolutely adamant about not wanting children. When folks ask me, “Well what if your boyfriend wants them?” I respond that I would not be dating anyone who wanted children. Also for crying out loud, the human population worldwide has gone from 5 billion to 8 billion within my 35 years on this planet. I think it’s okay for the birth rate to drop some, pretty sure the species will be fine.
While I take my marriage seriously, I don't take the specific vows seriously. Our wedding was officiated by a Christian pastor, at my husband's insistence. The pastor was a friend of his and it meant a lot to him for this particular person to do it. But, neither of us are Christians. My husband is actually jealous of a shirt I bought that says on the back "Religion makes me sick!" 😂 I guess I'll have to order him one. Just more money to one of my favorite bands! He honestly does more of the household chores than I do. He has more time off from work than I do, and he just does it. I do help out a lot, and being 6 days post surgery, he sees how much I do, now that I can't do nearly as much, until I heal. We are child-free by choice, and he brought all three of our cats into our home. I'm not complaining, the cats all love me more, lol.
I think the stats suggest that as healthcare and women's education improves, birth rates go down. Because they always would have if women had had a choice and an alternative. But that's at a population level so there will always be individual reasons to have or not have kids. There will still be women who love being pregnant and having kids as well as women who don't want any.
I had kids because I wanted to and was prepared and trained to be able to do it alone if need be. And boy did need be! I also spaced my kids out quite a bit with an iud and all that did to my body. My life moves more smoothly and I am less stressed as a single mom by choice. If I have any more children it will be by anonymous donor.
My country has completely free childcare and 3 years maternity leave when you get payed. But men still expect women to work (even during maternity leave), do all houselabor and raise kids without any help. Yeah, no one wants to birth their kids 🤷♀️
In Japan and some other countries, Homemakers are protected by law and they get paid from the government, if the women tin those countries still don’t want to have children, what do think women in a country that offers no rights for homemakers gonna do?
I grew up poor, and I have no desire to raise a child in poverty. Minimum, working class lifestyle but preferably a middle income lifestyle for any child I have.
The way society views children has changed as well. They really did use to be free labor, pension plan and legacy all in one package. It came with admonitions to be strict and use corporal punishment to ensure the kids would be obedient and adhere to societal expectations. Sayings like spare the rod and spoil the child or children should be seen and not heard exemplify that attitude. Nowadays, this is rightly seen as abusive. Better ways to parent, however, do not come naturally to all parents. With it comes the recognition that being a good parent is bloody difficult. Combine that with the freedom that comes with modern medicine's general influence on all parts of the procreation process and the fact that it's becoming more difficult to pressure unwilling women into agreeing to bear children and you get what we see now. The whole reason the far right reaction to that is a blatant attempt to take away rights instead of stepping up and helping in a useful and caring manner is because they recognize that it's a bloody difficult and exhausting thing to do and they don't want to do it.
When I asked my narcissistic brother why he wanted to have kids, he said that it'll make him feel like God coz he's the creator of his kids. I don't feel sorry for his kids either coz they will turn up into narcs themselves coz both their parents are crazy. I only feel sorry for the people who have to deal with these moron family.
Not all children of narcissists become narcissists also. Both my parents were, including the step douche. I turned out as a kind, empathetic individual. There is always a black sheep, and they are always scapegoated to the point of questioning not only reality but also the worth in continuing to live. Please, have some compassion for at least your black sheep nibling
"God will provide" yet thousands of children regularly die of hunger. Why didn't God provide for them? Were their parents not pious enough for them to deserve life? People who say stuff like this really do need to wake up and stop living in magic land, but they will not budge until they are personally affected.
My simple answer is the world is going to shit. Life is cruel to a "normal" child let alone to an autistic one or to a disabled one. There are so many illnesses a child can develop after birth is insane. Besides, I am aware of the mental and physical illnesses I am predisposed to, which is a lot. Now add all that, plus the father has his baggage too. Not everyone can win the genetic lottery. I know I cost a lot of money to my parents. I have both mental and physical illnesses that I am sure that child will inherit, so I'd rather not play Russian roulette with them. I think a lot of people think like that, too. They are aware of their illnesses and wouldn't want an innocent child to be subjected to all that. Also, I grew up poor. I can't exaçtly blame my parents for this, though, because we were doing great until 2007 when our country's economy went to shit, and my father was fired from his well-paying job. After that, it was straight poverty. I just wish my parents would have gotten their asses up and moved to a different country instead of letting us suffer here for decades. Also, I hate my family. They keep trying to buy the house my grandma left for me and my brother, saying they want their part of the money. I will never give them the satisfaction of watching me suffer with a kid. Never Seeing my older sister suffer with only one child while both she and her husband have well-paying jobs is enough for birth control.
Mine have my last name. Can't you chose in your country? Btw, legacy is not just dumping your DNA. Legacy is what remarkable you give to society so it is mostly women that create legacy by raising decent kids. Put the message out. Change the narratives. 🙂
The follow up cartoon would be the one my mum snipped and kept: frazzled woman at the ironing board with puts boiling over on the stove, children running wild mess everywhere - man sitting on the couch relaxing reading the paper commenting to his wife "I don't know what happened to you, you used to be such a fun person"
@@kaybee6050 they complain about ho/usewife conversion but deliberately seek the party girl only to degrade her for "not being the woman I met"... SIRS YOU CHANGED HER
Props to my friends that have and/or are planning to have kids. Among other reasons I'm CF, the whole ordeal of pregnancy doesn't appeal to me. I'm happy to be the fun aunt
The myth of the SAHM/housewife is (of course) based in systemic rac'ism. After sla'very was abolished, the US gov't enforced laws that _required_ Black women to work, even if their family could afford for them to be SAHM (particularly after Black soldiers started getting good pensions in WWII). Black women were required to show proof of employment or face jail time. And during this time period, the only type of job a Black woman (or any woman) could get employment was doing domestic labor. So Black women were effectively forced by the US govt to continue to serve as house sla'ves for meagre wages in order to ensure white people (especially white women) were able to live the "American dream" of comfort and dominance... The larger goal being to continue sewing rac'ial discord amongst the working class so that the ruling class could continue exploiting _everybody._ There is a creator on here who has a full video explaining it, complete with historical documents and citations. And of course, with yt's sh*tty search algorithm, I can't find that video 🙄
TLDR about my lenghty comment: Too little content online from fathers to (aspiring) fathers about the responsibility/how-to's of taking care of children. Think this is also an indication of how little emphasis society is putting on a man's burden in parenthood. What really helped me to establish if I was willing to become a parent, was to ask myself a few questions about horrible scenarios that could happen and still be ok with the decision. - If my partner was to leave/pass away and I have to take full care, would I still like to have them? - If my child was disabled to the point of needing 24/7 care, would I sacrifice huge parts of my own livelihood for them still? - I made a mistake and did not realize their mom was a narc. No matter what I believe of my partner then, would I still take full responsibility of my children? - Am I willing to have many sleepless nights and pain inflicted upon me because of the burdens that come with raising a child? - I am essentially putting my partner in a hospital bed and danger because of this wish we BOTH share. For me, all the answers were still that yes, I would still love to raise a child. I however see very few videos or shared information otherwise from other men talking about this or anything similar. I really had to search, like deep dive, to get more info or understanding about the burdens that come with being a parent/father. There is also very little information around that tells you about how to have these harsh conversations with your partner.. as really they can be quite difficult to discuss. Hypothetical scenarios where I would divorce her for petty reasons and us still needing to take care of the children together somehow. I am really missing that kind of content going around, and it shows just how little people actually seem to care about the responsibilities that come with being a father/mother. Quite worrying. I also had more success finding that kind of content about the "harsh stuff" when looking with the terms of "as a mom", showing just how much more content there is for moms that want to have children as opposed to fathers. Credit where credit is due though, I found some amazing channels about how to support your partner through labour as a father, for which I am really grateful.
Canada has 3 dollar a day daycare and gives out a baby bonus ever 3 months of 75 dollars a kid. Their version of Social Security credits caregivers as well. If the US did this and had affordable college tution, the birthrate would go up.
I am so blessed and grateful to be married to a man who is a fantastic father, husband and overall wonderful human being. He takes care of our daughter, perhaps not as much as me, but still a great deal. And even he says that most men are not what kids and women deserve.
Those corporations who need workers are bullying women into having in children by taking away our rights and calling us crazy cat ladies (I'm looking at you JD Vance).
Yep. Im 37 i had 1 child with my ex husband i love him to pieces but i did 95 percent of it on my own when we were married and 100% when i divorced him. I work 50+ hours per week. I got divorced when my son was 4. Since then finding a good man who would be faithful. Marriage and children minded. Financially stable. And emotionally available has been a challenge. By the time i finally found that man i was 36. He was 41 he also only had 1 child.and both of our kids are 16 and 17 years old.....were not starting over. Were almost done. We will enjoy our empty nest in a few years. Travel. Build wealth for retirement and enjoy the next chapter of our lives. Both of us would have had more kids if we had met a decade ago. Men need to do better and we need to educate young men and women better on red flags. Narcissism. Attachment styles. Compatibility. Fighting fair. And to date people who share your values. It took me until my 30s to figure it out and stop wasting time trying to see the best in broke dudes with no ambition, narcissistic and emotionally unavailable men who played with my heart for far too long.
OMG! This is, without a doubt, the BEST video I have seen on this topic. "The economy should adjust to the current birthrate." Is something I especially agree with, we are OVERPOPOLATED, so the declining birthrate should generally speaking be a good thing! Yet, goverments and whatnot are still panicking and trying to pressure women into giving birth again! When it shohld be the other way around! SUPPORT MOTHERA LIKE THEY'VE ALWAYS DESERVED TO, GODDAMIT!
Shoutout to hearing from the women of Germany... I love hearing from all over the world more specifically. This is so good that we can all have a voice. Keep speaking up women. We need to hear from each other. I myself am in the UK.
11:27 Isn't it funny how "God" always provides through kind-hearted individuals? I used to see this all the time with Fundagelical adoption mommybloggers. They'd post about some financial crisis they were in, and a lot of their regular readers would hit the blog's PayPal button and donate money. Then the mommyblogger would post an enthusiastic thank you to her donors, while simultaneously praising "God" for providing. Nobody talks about the millions of children in the world who suffer and die from preventable conditions due their family's poverty. I imagine if a skeptic asked them directly about this, they'd blame these tragedies on the parent's lack of *true* faith, or belief in the wrong religion.
@@BurbNBougie I learned it on Patheos, back when non-Christian columns were allowed. In short, it refers to Culture War Christians of different denominations with a shared opposition to feminism, LGBT+ rights, and separation of Church and State.
"courts are working overtime in favor of mothers!" literally anytime a father actually goes for custody they win everytime. a man loosing custody is a choice.
I think childbirth rates has to do a lot with having your own home with all things needed being right there. I also think this is sexual natural selection happening in real time. The requirements for a “genetic father” changed from what they were just a century ago… like.. men are not dying anymore like used to, they’re living long lives and we had to deal with them on everyday basis.. which means our desire for more calm, collected and intelligent men only grew stronger. I don’t see how that’s not going to benefit future generations. Of course the down side being that it might lead to a “bottleneck event” someday, but humanity survived it ones
Maybe the truth is that the sacrifices needed for human reproduction are just inherently incompatible with being a creature smart enough to consider the pros and cons of pregnancy AND develop technology to avoid it. I suspect if men hadn’t forced women to be mothers with no alternatives for millennia, we’d have either evolved a better reproductive strategy (only the lineages of the women with the least taxing/destructive pregnancies would multiply) or died out like the evolutionary dead end we (probably) are.
Most the women around my age who have kids are single mothers. Having children for men is not the same for women having children. I feel like if most women accept this truth the birth rate would be even lower than it is right now (in the country's were women have basic rights of course unfortunately all women globally aren't liberated.) There are some women who choose to ignore this harsh reality and end up in situations they can't get out of with their lives forever changed.
Hi lovelies, love to see other women talking about this. Until motherhood(parent hood) is valued and compensated we aren't going to have a sustainable TFR.
One thing I would like to add is that even in Christianity and the Bible itself there are a lot of people that do not read it. There's actual scriptural verses that say that a lot of people do not go to the word of God to actually understand it and that people will use the word of God to promote their own ideals. That's why Jesus was fighting the Pharisees, God knows people in power will use religion to get what they want. A biblical woman does not have to bend the knee to a man, both genders and now all genders have to love and respect their partners. Men say that women are to be obedient, but neglect the rest of the passage that says that they need to love their wife as Christ loved the church. (Ephesians 5:25)
YES! This is what I've been saying about religion and Christianity, especially! People do not read the bible and it is very obvious somtimes, as an atheist/agnostic with some knowledge of the bible and having read it even as a child, I still recall more than most casual Christians! Most Christians do not follow the book at all, such as no tattoos, no mixing of cloth, and other such things that would be relatively simple to refrain from. You could just wear 100% cotton, or leather, or whatever else there is. And not getting tattoos is easy!
Having kids is so expensive. I live in Europe, where we have subsidised childcare, parental leave etc. You can say that a state is accommodating to an extent (mother penalty still exists big time though). I am an in-house counsel and my husband has a good corporate job as well. We live in Western Europe, bought an apartment (on mortgage) and have a car. Even with all of these, I don’t think we can have more than one child. We both need to work to sustain ourselves and wouldn’t even have time for more than one child. You can say we are quite privileged and still it’s barely enough! You have all of these super rich people and politicians crying crocodile tears over plummeting child birth rate. Guess what, it is your own doing. The system is unfair to the point of being ridiculous and needs to collapse. Please note that they want children only from specific groups of people. We have so many unattended and exploited children in third world countries, but nobody cares.
Those men who cannot even handle the machine that simulates period cramps. I'm a transman and lived through 10 years of period pains before I was able to stop them entirely. As a man with testosterone, i have not had the pain and mood swings that i felt back then without being dreadfully ill, which is an extremely rare occurrence. I cannot fathom the pain of birth!! Never wanted any kids, much less my own Dx
Im 28 now and ever since I was young and old enough to realize how shitty it all is, I told my mother to not expect children from me. Hell, my grandma did a lot of work and now her husband, whom she still feels obliged to care for(at 90) didnt even allow her to have a proper mattress to have less shitty nights... Father was a drunk fucker who mother thought she could change, only he drunk himself to death. Why would someone risk a bit of flesh pleasure for putting someone in this world to me was insane. I've got surgery done, no kids for me, ever, not adding to the suffering of the next.
As my mother tells it, when I was young my dad asked my mom why they don’t have more kids. My mom said no, it’s too much work. My dad said for the next one he’d do 50%. My mom said for it to be fair, he should do 100% of the next one since she’s doing 100% of the current one.
Fast forward 40 years and I’m still an only child. 😂
Wow, the audacity of that offer and the refusal to make the deal fair to both sides, for the sake of the children's well being tells a lot about how much men value women and children. I bet he was a better man than most to even have an honest talk like that and respect the woman's choice. 😂
That’s depressing. Wishing your mom peace.
Your mom sounds like a smart cookie! Kudos to her!
Not your dad presenting being an actual parent as the reason for why your mom should allow him to impregnate her again
So for the NEXT one he'd do 50%?!
Wow.
People forget that no one ever asked to be here. They say life is a gift, but tell that to a child in pain. Tell that to the next generations facing hate, war, famine, trafficking, and poisons in their food, air, ground, and water. No one should have children until this world and the people are cleaned up and presentable enough to give to the next generation. Until then, women's wombs should be on strike.
birth strikes, ovaries are closed until further notice - we need an AI sign
Adoption is better
Facts, tell these Christians to keep the same energy God did when creating the Garden of Eden.
I couldn't have said it better. Yes.
💯
Not even just pick up after it. They couldn't handle pregnancy and labor. There are changes and sacrifices you need to make to just give birth to a healthy baby, and I don't think most men would be willing to do it.
Most men have the attitude of, why should I change my life for my child, they came into my life, but they don't care how much women change and have to change.
Men brag about getting a kid by surrogate but then NEVER actually do it. Even newborn care is beyond most of them.
Women shouldn't be willing 2 do it. Women want 2 love and be loved by kids. I say adopt or foster. I always thought pregnancy and birth was gross and scary. #nothanks
💯
Women ! adopt girls 🩷
I was born in 1955. I grew up during the period when most married women were housewives. I do remember hearing about women not needing to work. However, I remember my mom, my grandmothers, and aunts cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the children. They sewed and mended clothes. They canned and froze food. Washing clothes was a bigger chore back then with ringer washers and two separate tubs of rinse water. Women had to put up clothes lines and then attaching wet clothes with clothes pins to the lines. People said married women didn’t work, but they did work.
I was born in 54, and I totally agree with you! My adopted father was abusive, and I asked my mother why we didn't leave? And she told me, because we had nowhere to go! I said we could get a house! She said no, we can't! I really didn't understand then that women didn't have any rights! I thought she was scared to leave! Now, I understand. My mother left him in the 70s! 😢😢😢😢😢
we need laws to pay housewives via the husband's taxes
Don’t forget they had to rinse out dirty diapers (somehow- I don’t wanna know lol) and clean them.
And fully credit the SSI retirement accounts. The elder wmn who stayed home w/multiple children get a pittance percentage of his SS - *if* they remained married long enuf.
Women ALWAYS worked. We didn’t fight for the right to work per se. We fought for the right to GET PAID. I’ll never be a housewife unless my husband sets an checking and retirement account in my name only. Housework is real work and real work comes with benefits.
Fathers and husbands get paid.... they get raises for being husbands and fathers... mothers get nothing. Tell me again why a woman would be a mom?
hell they often risk getting FIRED
Facts, my deadbeat Dad be getting raises while my Mother doesn't
Most women shouldn't be moms. So many are terrible at it. The quality of the single moms out here?... yikes. These people should've aborted their pregnancies for sure.
Men can't give us credit for anything. We, as a whole, rejected them, and now they are claiming it is their idea. 🤦♀️
It doesn't even make sense, women are the ones taking birth control, women are the ones having the obortions, we're always the ones allocated the responsibility over the fetus, over its gender (wrongfully), over its health and some women even get blamed if they lose the baby...we get off days on the kids when the fathers want to play with their children.
There are good fathers, but I will never know if he is before making my body go through hell, so why would any man think they got the control over our wombs. Weirdos.
So true!!
it's a male accountability problem
Women ! adopt girls 🩷
"You are fired!"
"You can't fire me, I quit tomorrow."
Their behaviour. 😄
All of this is exactly why I never wanted kids. My hats off to mothers all over the world, but no man is worth subjecting my body to pregnancy & childbirth. I’m not sacrificing my career to become a live in maid & cook.
ALL OF THIS!!! Staying childfree and with the way men are acting I'll be staying man free as well 🙏
There is a song by Missy Elliot where she says "Can I stay wit chu? Do u need some help? I cook boy...." Many women market themselves as free chefs and maids 2 get men--that's the only reason men live w/ women.
9/10 men want virility tokens.
You can adopt an orphan girl in school age
@KhadidjaKhadouj-ur4ke I plan on it once I'm in my 30's or so.
To the poor dude: Let’s ask your kids in about 10 years how great it was for them to grow up poor. I’ll bet they have a different perspective.
can confirm and most of the kids at the poor school I went to wished their parents hadn't kept them
Yep,they grow up embarrassed, angry, and resentful of their parents.
Yes. M-n expect us to somehow raise children at NO cost to them, on air. They want to keep women in a place of perpetual poverty and slavery.
Just realised, funny how men claim to be providers then blame shift to GOD HIMSELF???? God actually said a good father leaves an INHERITANCE for his CHILDREN AND their kids. Only rich men can have kids AS PER THE BIBLE ITSELF. Wow.
@@KilonovaBurst you've just described me
Was having a conversation just this morning with my husband about how a woman's body is changed irreparably through pregnancy. They literally can tell from your bone structure that you have given birth. Men are out here like we do nothing when even after a woman is dead they can tell you if she ever gave birth.
any specific structures? I wanna look into this
@@seabreeze4559I think it’s something to do with hip bones
@@seabreeze4559 marks on pelvis bone, from ligament tearing during childbirth
The ligaments in the pelvis loosens during pregnancy, and the pelvis widens. Also, for some women their feet get wider and flater which tends to be permanent as well.
@@sarahcover7248 As someone with huge hips I literally cannot fathom them getting any wider. Also, my beloved shoe collection took years to accrue and the idea of wider feet makes me wanna cry.
I grew up poor with financially irresponsible/illiterate parents hearing "everything will work out" which is the secular version of "God will provide". Yeah it worked out cuz I worked from age ten so we could EAT. Its not god providing your electricity, its whatever family member has an actual survival instinct providing.
Not just the pet thing. Lots of men have a "breeding kink" and others have severaly romanticized the idea of making a baby with a woman and watching the miracle of their baby grow inside her but don't think much past that; like the fact that the pregnancy will eventually become a whole, separate, helpless and needy human being.
Yes, between two adults that truly love each other, creating and nurturing that pregnancy can be an amazing and beautiful thing, but there are a lot of downsides to that as well.
(I say that as a woman that wanted kids my whole life and as one of those "crazy" ladies that absolutely loved being pregnant).
True. The breeding kink is rarely talked about, but it is more common than a lot of people realise.
@@kdphotos4691 It's a few year old trend in the porn world
Real. I wish men would romanticize the part of loving being a father to their children after birth as well. I'm the same as you, except that I was never actually pregnant and don't have children. I love the idea of being a mother but above all, to give my future child a loving father, something I never had myself. Most of my close friends are men, and they're sweet, loving people, but it's more common for me to see women romanticizing the part of nurturing and caring for their future baby than men, and this is very sad.
All I want in a man, as a friend or partner (when I'm ready, cuz I want to work on myself before thinking about relationships), is for them to see me as equal and genuinely care about me and our future child. But the average man isn't like that, unfortunately. It's good to try figuring out if a man just have a breeding kink, or if he genuinely wants to be an actual *father* and be there for the mother when she needs it.
@@kdphotos4691right I always think about that when I see a TH-cam channel where they have 9 kids and counting.. And people in traditional households where the trad mom has like 4 kids and has to take care of all of them while simultaneously baking bread in the morning
South asian woman here- Went out with a dude once and we were discussing our futures and I told him that I want to stay single and not have kids. His immediate response was- "Oh but what would you do when you get older? Won't you feel lonely?" I was like- "I'll think about it when the time comes😂". He then went on and explained how he always wanted to be a father, and have a family. He also said that his wife would always be his "second priority" because his parents raised him so they would be his first😂😂 In my mind I was like "Yeah this is exactly why, I don't want to". A woman would be leaving her family, leaving her job, destroying her health, taking that financial hit, doing all that emotional and physical labor, just to be your second priority?? Yeah ok bro😂😅 good luck on that. I actually didn't say anything to him at that point but wanted to walk away right then and there, but too bad we had already ordered. I also didn't explain my point, because I was too lazy and thought the next girl should do that working😂😂😂
We ate, drank, made out, then I ghosted him the next day🎉
Made out? 💀 He won , girl. I hope he at least paid. HPV is rampant nowadays.
I wonder why that guy thought it would be ok to share that on a first date...welp at least you dodged a bullet.
I don't understand these expectations of some east asian parents to be put on a pedestal over their daughter in law... Can't you be at least equals? 😅
For a moment I thought it was gonna be "You will be my second priority because the kids are my first priority" but it was too good to be true.
@@trishapellis In our dreams maybe 🥲
I think the main reason for the birth decline is that women are realising that they don’t need men anymore.
It’s a beautiful thing 💚
"Realising" ≠ hallucinating. Without men, industrial civilisation collapses.
I don’t thinks it’s beautiful. I think it’s quite sad that so many women feel like they have to choose between love for a man and love for themselves.
I’m not so sure. In my opinion we need each other and if we can’t work something out then we’ve failed as a species.
@stefyroxanne7567 men are terrible husband's, boyfriends and fathers.
and like we have 8 billion people already what's the emergency lol let women have their peace for once
My dad got married 6 times... not to my mom. And every time he would beat them up. My step moms have had broke heads, legs and arms.. my dad burned down my house. Im only alive bc MY CAT SAVED ME. Cat lady for life! My dad punched me in the head when I was 1... my mom got married 2 times and both times she got abused. My step dad would kick my 1 year old brother. Not before marriage only after marriage do these people change. Why would anyone put themselves in that situation. And thats kust my life. Thats not even my friends. I had a friend who was with a dude for 9 years and then got married and he started cheating and abusing her in 6 months. And you know whats the f part. Society blames the woman. She should have chose better. It was her choice right. So stop making that choice. I did. I will not get married
Women don't get to choose the actions of men.
I would never marry a man who was divorced 5 times... I get it sometimes you choose wrong but if you had more than 2 divorces it means you're the problem.
Cats for life ❤
I just had a conversation with my ex about motherhood and how it does not benefit women. He is still salty about it. He says that the fact that I have two people who love me, should be considered a benefit. I told him that I have other people whom I haven't birthed who also love me. I also stated that it has cost over $500,000 to raise these two people. This money could have been in my retirement account. Also, I stated that my body is still paying for having given birth, despite my "baby" being a 20 year-old man. Nothing in my body has been the same and never will be. I went on to state how I was also a cow for my children, so they were literally sucking away my life force.
Let me be clear: I adore my children. This doesn't change or take away the fact that it's still not been beneficial to me, really. Males do not care that this is true. They want their lineage to go beyond them, and 99% of them are not worthy. We must keep this in mind, and also the life-altering effects of motherhood.
Edit: The poor dude speaking for his children not being affected by living poor is so typical of the male perspective. All children, unless they live in an abusive environment, use their imaginations, period. The fact that this dude is saying that this replaces the children going without is sick and I feel like his children will get the hell away from them when they're older.
the chemical bonding is really brainwashing, and I say that with love as just a fact. Without that, we'd go extinct we literally have to be brainwashed hormonally as women to do it.
Evolution isn't even kids, but grandkids. So if their kids are traumatised by paternal neglect including dissociation into video games in the same room, no grandkids so the "investment" was utterly wasted from a cold math perspective. So much for logical, huh? Edison had tons of kids but has ZERO surviving in his direct line. Extinction also applies to family lines, obvious in names.
The payment your body makes for giving birth is a life long thing. Then when you get to my age, 58, you have menopause to contend with. This is the most awful experience I've been through beside birth itself. Everything you used to do to your body to take care of it before pregnancy and childbirth does not work and it works even less when menopause hits. OMG, if anyone had told me about it before I hit my 50s, I would never have had kids. I love my son (he's 33 now) but you're right when you say it doesn't change the fact that it's not been beneficial to my life.
And before all you naysayers bleat on about how I don't love my son as if I'm saying he wasn't worth it: if I never had kids like was my original plan, I never would have known him. And you can't miss what you've never had. Seeing as how I'm 4B now and have been for at least the last decade, whether my body is in swimsuit shape is irrelevant to me. I just want to be healthy, strong and mobile and if that comes with some irremovable belly fat or cellulite on my thighs, who cares?
@@audrablue515 carnivore keto can greatly ease menopause symptoms
@@audrablue515 you sound like dr berg's ovary body type
I have a 4 year old toddler with a dad who had abandoned him. I'm always tired, i never have money even with a government job, and my body never bounced back. I love him so much my advice don't do it.
I call this the Reality Check when a woman is pregnant I see her being lied to and she's super happy then a little while later all the kids she planned after mysteriously don't happen. They go after childfree women about the birth rate but REALLY they need to ask the One and Done.
As I have been saying, misogyny is killing the world
So... how comes thousands of years of "misogyny" didn't kill it long ago?
Always has been tbh..
They know and they don't care. They'll only care when their work force run out
We also need to acknowledge that it's not just fewer women wanting to have kids, it's that fewer couples who *want* kids are able to have them. I checked, and over the last few years demand for fertility care services has grown, not shrunken as you would expect if there was a mass movement toward anti-natalism.
The current theory is that pollution, stress, overwork, rising temperatures, and our broken food system are responsible, but the trend for later childbearing is also a factor. *Most of these things are tied to four decades of pro-income inequality policies!*
In short, corporate conservatism around the world has been creating this problem for 40+ years, but now they're blaming feminism for something that's their own fault. 🙄
Absolutely! Let's hope that a few generations of only rich people having kids will lead to workers wages rising again. No workers = workers can demand more.
@@DoveAlexa Exactly! That's why the people fretting most about the "birth dearth" are the 1%. They like having multiple applicants for each job. It's classic Supply and Demand... and they don't like the thought of being on the "Demand" side of the equation.
Rich AND rich in education. Being poor in education is the real killer @@DoveAlexa
@@DoveAlexa That's why they're importing millions of immigrants who are used to a lower standard of living and are willing to work for lower wages.
Naturally
Men saying that they are the ones who started the whole No Child For Me is laughable as he//
Now all of a sudden they accept that they can control getting women pregnant, instead of the whole "Well she let me get her pregnant".
Now they saying that they've had enough at the same time as calling us selfish for not wanting to have kids.
So what is it? Women are selfish for not wanting kids, or men are no longer getting women pregnant?
babytrapping being a crime in various ways now is telling..... almost like it was always a choice?
Notice how organized the 4b movement is, and how we have so many. Now look at the men who have maybe half as many members in their combined "movement", not knowing what side they choose, why, and what arguments to use. They have no community. It's clear to everyone that women are winning, anyway lol
"being poor doesnt stop you from being a good father" it does when you can't even afford insurance, but are still earning a little too much to qualify for government health insurance. It does when you have to teach your child to eat half of their lunch at school and bring the rest of it home for dinner. It does when you come home to find an eviction notice stuck to your door. It does when you need to go to work but you dont have anyone to take care of your baby.
Proper childcare is essentially behind a paywall and the people who suffer the most are the children of the parents who were deceived into believing they can be poor and raise a child
THIS! 💯
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT MY MOM NEEDS TO HEAR!
Wanting to "further their legacy" pisses me off so much. Like, what legacy? What good have you brought the world?? And how arrogant can you be?!
These men still haven’t realized how global this is. It’s not just American women but let me be quiet, please continue going your own way. Talk to the trees and walls like y’all said y’all would. 👌🏾
Man, I wish they actually meant it. They’re literally just pretending to run away to see if we’ll chase them 🙄
@@Violet-Storm They've been saying this since the 90's. Yet, they keep popping up saying they're leaving. It's like Ho - Go!
The comment about men wanting to pass on their legacy is spot on. I've heard it many times from men, that they would like a child to pass on the genes and the last name, to have them overtake their business and so on. Nothing about actual parenting. And when asked about what they would like to do with their child, many men answer something like "play football and build Lego with them". Cool, but these are activities for older children, what about when they are little babies? And, coincidentally, these are the activities those men themselves like. What if the child despise Lego and football, but love ballet and drawing? Men literally want a playmate, not a child.
I stayed home with my kids for six years, because I could not earn enough to put two children in daycare. There is no more thankless job than being a mother, and no other job will so directly lead you into poverty. My exes are both homeowners now, after refusing to pay enough child support to keep the house where I was raising our children. They thought fatherhood was optional, and they hated me more than they loved their kids. That is something I’ve observed in a lot of divorced fathers, including my own.
Misogyny is killing the world
I swear, every day I am more and more glad that a man has never gaslighted me into thinking I wanted kids.
I grabbed the kids and left the man. We do just fine.
@@teresamagnussonI think you’re supposed to not like kids in this comment section
@SigFigNewton pretty sure m about not liking men, and most men arent worth the risk. Then again, i havent finished the vid yet,so ill edit if anything changes my opinion
@@SigFigNewton nope, there's lots of viewers of this channel who like and have kids, and in case you missed it BnB herself is a mom of 2. Upholding motherhood as women's only beneficial contribution to the world, or sugarcoating the sacrifices and day-to-day difficulty and tedium of motherhood, is what we don't do here.
@@user-kpkxgtj misandry encouraged here
The comment from the man with 4 kids is typical male rhetoric. I bet his wife doesn't hold the same sentiment. She's probably the breadwinner , plus does 100% of the home & kids . 😢 That's the only reason why he thinks that 4 kids & being poor isn't a problem. 😞
she is time poor, it's a thing
@@seabreeze4559Yep, she's absolutely knackered!
1) his wife helps with the bills, or if she is a SAHM then she does a lot of planning, scrounging and saving to make ends meet;
2) he does not know about all the WORK that goes into how the household keeps running, he just knows that it magically does;
3) the older kids are already outsourced to be free baby sitters to the younger kids;
4) he truly, truly does not know or care about his kids having to do without when compared to their classmates. They are still alive and that means they have enough (according to him).
The only reason anyone thinks anything is not a problem, is because they don't have to deal with the outcome. It's not their problem.
Yes, it is important to assume as many negative things as we can about this man.
It's interesting that all of these guys who really want to be a dad don't want to do it by themselves. Why is it that if they want it so bad they don't just do it themselves like so many women have.... Oh that's right, they don't get to offload The not fun parts to a woman if they were by themselves.
They try claiming single dads as superior to single mothers but don't wanna prove it? Like LOL
The comparatively few single dads get boocoo support from social accolades to help raising by family members & subsequent, if not serial, GF.
I know a decent guys who grew up in a family where both mom and dad were present and raised the kids. He did the same and made sure he sons grew uo seeing that. All his sons are married and good hands on dads. Hes now a hands on grandpa. He saw how men werent like his dad growing up and his dad taught him a family eorks together. I wish there were more like him. He has his own car seats for his grandkids, toys, a crib and takes the grandkids so his kids have time fir themselves. He is so different from most men.
He needs to make a course, men and women both would buy it. Being a Great Grandpa 101. Seriously.
@@seabreeze4559 I second the motion!
@@seabreeze4559 i third this
My grandpa and dad were like this too. Growing up and now as an adult I realize how rare this is.
The rarest of rare. A unicorn. A hands-on-dad to a hands-on-grandpa. Three generations. TT
My brother didn't start having children until he was 45 bc he said he wanted a wife, not a baby mama. I have to admit he's a loving and present father. I think when you really want to raise a child, it's a totally different experience than one than wanting to have a baby.
Over my dead body would I have kids. I'm educated, still going through hell trying to get stable income, I've spent my whole "career" so far getting f-ed over by employers. We have no labor rights in the US, not like they do in Europe, we also have no work life balance. Europe gets like a month of PTO, we get nothing mandated at all. Housing won't stop increasing in price. There is no transportation network developed and cars are both expensive and getting more dangerous with road rage, traffic, and distracted drivers... I don't even know if I can keep myself alive and fed, let alone a kid.
Want kids? Make a country that doesn't suck! They've been kicking a dozen cans down the road for decades and now all that willful negligence to sustainably develop this country came home to roost. Anyone in the US having kids is delusional and setting themselves up to fail. I'm sick and tired of everything SUCKING in this country. It's hard enough as a young single person... Imagine being a parent! With fulltime work I barely have time to keep myself alive and get enough sleep to avoid an all-day next-day migraine.
Well said! You need to talk to JD Vance and the other Republicans who have no clue what it's like in the real world! ❤
People who claim raising kids isn't expensive do not and don't intend to raise the kids WELL, with enough food to eat, money to clothe and shelter, good childcare/education, and money so they can actually enjoy the life they are living.
Yup! There’s a difference between *survival* and actual living.
Yes and kids pick up on that stuff they know when their parents are stressed about money. It can cause the children to feel guilty of having basic needs.
poverty trauma is a thing and the damage is seen on the brain LIFELONG.
also from experience, don't bother. They don't care about neglect of basic needs including some that cost a lot of money like socialising and school trips. I missed literally all my school trips abroad, it ruined me socially and resentment is the obvious consequence, lifelong rage at it. Happens all the time. I also know OF childfree pacts among poor kids, they are a thing in sibling units so those men popping out tons of kids have another thing coming. Pun intended. Their investment is being ended by the kids saying "no grandkids, agreed?"
@@sarahcover7248 emotional abuse includes shaming the kid for having needs including social needs which cost money, shelter, food etc. A kid doesn't have to be grateful to live like a literal pauper, even in Dickens London 1850s inflation was pretty STABLE and kids had a BETTER standard of living compared to now, imagine that??
I resented never, ever having *anything* new when I was a kid. Coming back after Christmas break was painful - kids compare about what all they'd gotten ... & they're not civilized about it, either.
Historically, women had to get married and start having kids. She was seen as property. In order to survive, since she didn't work outside of the home, she was reliant solely on her husband. So, take that equation out and what do we get? Just how many women really WANT kids. If many women have been told from a very young age that life is about falling in love, marrying and having kids, would she ever question it? Yes, there are some women who desperately want kids for whatever reasons. But, now that more women know that they are not alone in their less than ideal interactions with men because of social media, more are feeling heard, validated, and almost given permission not to do anything they don't really want. Take away society and family pressure, and then add the likes of men (and some women) like JD Vance who thinks all a woman is good for is breeding, and how many women really want kids?
A point you brought up - women were property. We didn't have any other choice for survival other than marriage or whore house. When women have freedom - do they naturally choose to bind themselves to men? Worldwide - it doesn't appear so.
I'm from Germany too.
And yes, the dust is global.
That's why i'm celibate since over 14 years.
Canada here! 🇨🇦
Same sh-t.
@@Armelleeefr
Men in German speaking countries are a whole new level of entitled, PERVERTED and DEPRAVED. Hats off to you for even putting up with them in a non-romantic capacity.
@@Armelleee- London calling. Same here. 😂
It's widely accepted that German men are some of the worst (they made country into s-x tourism spot, the dust levels to do that), I feel you.
There was just a story of a guy that was arrested for kidnapping women with the intent of turning them into a baby making factor to create an army. The story was out of Oregon.
Truly wild stuff. It’s imperative to be on birth control for a multitude of reasons but that story definitely takes the cake.
common form of trafficking, apparently some amish sell them too
technically that is a power and control grapist if you wanna see forensic psychs talk about it on this site, a lot of babytrappers seem to be this type
Both control is bad for us, but pregnancy is worse... God, I hate and love being a woman at the same time. I love our community, but I'm not sure I love what we have to deal with.
My favorite thing about this entire conversation is the fact that this coming from more women who are wives and moms. It seems like when us single childish women say things like this the world gives us all kinds of shit. And I know they give you all crap too, but I’m just glad that someone has our back.
Kind of related, read an article stating the surgeon general says parental stress is a public health issue. And I immediately said..."well, no sh*t."
active parent, most likely
Excuse my language, that is f**king hilarious.
“like a child wants a puppy”
I feel called out 😅
When I was a pet parent, I was actually more of a pet sibling, despite initially promising I’d take care of my dog without burdening my other family members.
Once my labrador puppy was home, everyone instantly got attached and contributed to raising him, and I was more than happy to let them do the bulk of the work.
In my defence, I was just about to start high school when we got him, so more immature than neglectful.
I played with him every time he wanted to, I spent lots of time hanging out with him (to keep him from feeling lonely, as well as enjoying his company), I brushed his fur regularly (bathing was someone else’s department), I fed him every time my schedule coincided with his meal times (otherwise he was always fed on schedule by a stay-at-home family member) and I loved him more than I’ve loved most people I’ve known.
RIP Kenny
I’m pretty sure I’d never have the patience to put up with some of the stuff these women endure on a daily basis.
It would drive me up the walls.
We need to make sure we secure our right to choose not to have children and to have birth control options.
Remember, vote blue no matter who! Reproductive rights are on the line, and even democracy itself.
TLDR: poverty kills and hurts people all over the world including in the US. That Wellamazoo guy has lost his mind. He should go and tell the millions of dead children that die from poverty and their parents how god just magically provides and poverty doesn't matter. Tell the mothers of children who die in drive-by shootings who can't afford to leave the ghetto that money wouldn't have saved their children. Tell my former acquaintance's parents that their 2 sons, their only children, getting killed in a terf argument that their family being in poverty had nothing to do with it and god provided for them. They were unarmed. The police let one of them bleed to death in the parking lot on the pavement even though paramedics were there and his cousins tried to put him in their car so he didn't die alone on the pavement and the cops literally threatened to kill them if they did. We all know why the cops did that and it was because of class and that they were Mexican. I have never seen a person as broken as their mother was. She looked so sad that she could barely breathe. The entire funeral she just cried the only time we heard anything from her was when they lowered the caskets. We had to hold her back from getting in one of their graves she was screaming and crying out. I have never seen or heard of a drive-by or a terf war in middle or upper class neighborhoods. I have never heard of police stopping paramedics from saving a life in a middle or upper class neighborhood. I have never seen a person in the upper-middle or upper class die because they couldn't afford medical care. I have never seen or heard of a middle or upper class person dying because they froze to death in downtown Denver because they were homeless. I could go on about how many people I watched slowly die from drug addiction because they were to poor to get help. I could talk about friends who died from overdose or suicide because they were in a lot of pain and they couldn't afford therapy and/or health insurance. I have seen a lot of horrible crap from poverty and I was in poverty until I was 25 and I am disabled now so I am back in poverty again. If God exists God doesn't provide. God doesn't care if children starve, get killed, have drug addicted parents, get pimped out by their parents, and a million other horrible things. Sorry for the rant, but that horrible and ignorant man clearly doesn't understand reality and he doesn't want to. I watched so many horrible things happen as a kid and young adult that will haunt me for the rest of my life because of poverty.
''men choosing to leave the date marketing''. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
promise this time??? 🤣🤣🤣
Oh yea that's why the apps are total sausage fests! 🙄🤣
His comment was so full of # sour grapes 🍇 😂.
"You can't fire me. I quit!"
That’s what redpillers say, lol! 😂
Note that "declinining birth rates" is referring to the RATE. The human population is still increasing at an unsustainable rate, but it's gradually getting better. Mostly because women in more and more parts of the world are gaining access to birth control and financial autonomy that they didn't have in the past, so now they have the CHOICE to be more than some man's incubator.
Even the women who do want kids, can now CHOOSE to have only 1 or 2, rather than 10.
Then there's also the fact that people are starting to realize that children are sentient human beings. Which should be obvious at first glance, but has historically been ignored. Children in the past were viewed as servants and labourers; parents had children because of what (they expected) the children can do for them. This culture is starting to reverse, and people are now asking themselves what they can provide for a child. (Which often means that even people who WANT kids remain childless, because they know they wouldn't be able to provide the quality of life that a child deserves)
We talk birth rates all the time. We understand the birth rate vs population.
@@BurbNBougie Yeah I just mentioned it because I often see people conflating "declining birth rates" with "declining population" and acting like it's a problem to panic over while we have 8 billion people on the planet.
Some idiot said that we are in an underpopulation crisis. Stupidity. We are brutally overpopulated.
Of course women are blamed. And in North Korea they are banning contraception and abortion instead of, you know, feeding the population.
My shit head ex-boyfriend had a lot of shit head friends and the one we would hang out with the most had fathered four babies with the same woman in about a four-year time span all before they were twenty-two.
He hated his girlfriend, partially because she was always pregnant. I met her a few times; she looked like she was barely there.
Anyway, my ex was saying something about how he had fucked up with all these kids and the friend was like "are you kidding? I'm gonna start a business". This guy was a perpetually broke idiot who (stole over $400 from me but that's not the point) was never serious about anything, but he was serious about this idea that since he already had all these kids, he might as well put them to work. And since they were young, he wanted to see how many more he could squeeze out of his girlfriend. "I hate her but she's the one who keeps coming back."
It's been 12 years since all that and I desperately hope that woman got clear and they stopped the Family Business at four employees.
I have so many stories about what a terrible person that guy was and this is actually one of the ones where he comes off well.
that's a sociopath they obsess over money and exploiting labour, Danielle Radin discusses it. Thankfully domestic slavery is literally a crime internationally so that would be illegal.
Literally had to dry my hands in the shower to comment on your video, there are studies that have shown that poverty causes brain damage. So, while your children might be forced into resilience, there are other ways to teach them this.
Constant stress about the future and living conditions, often parentification for their own drunk parents, extreme (sometimes deadly and translated into adulthood) fear of failure as you have no safety net, social humiliation when status flex among peers occurs. It's no joy in the park. Fathers who think military boot camp of survival (instead of living) in all kinds of physically and emotionally unwell conditions during formative years is some "God's providence" goals childhood need their heads checked.
Id also like to point out that moms dont get a retirement right... but these dudes are complaining there will be no one around to help with retirement... so now they know how it feels to be a mother. The only way a woman does get retirement is from being the opposite of a mother.
"...fed from your own body for 6 months!" Don't forget making breakfast, lunch and dinner for 18 years ! Constant labour!
Yup women only lose when we have kids. Men know the burden all falls on us and it is basically like having a pet for them.
Fun fact: men who do share childcare with the mothers show a strong decrease in the desire to have many children
I can't count how many men have told me "women just need to trust more (that this time this guy is good)". While the amount of times a man has talked about how the fellow MEN need to change is way fewer, unfortunately.
It's always the woman's fault. Even if she was the victim.
I hear so many older people complain that us youngsters don't take marriage seriously, but almost all of them are cheating. Both my parents and grandparents were unfaithful, me and my bf see his dad out visiting his mistress, but give them an opportunity to talk about marriage and kids and suddenly its us non-adulterous children that don't understand commitment and sacrifice 🙄. Like maybe we are the only ones that understand it, and thats ehy were opting out.
Dang, you are polite! I would have immediately brought up the mistress and other evidence, then grabbed my bf’s hand and walked out of there. I cannot put up with people like that.
It's not 18-20 years of commitment, it's a lifetime. It's your kin, your children. What the hell is wrong with people. 😅
Thats funny 😅 i thought i was the only woman asking men serious questions about parenting. If men can't take care of themselve what gives them the opportunity to ask for children? Alot of men with children don't even know there children birthday.
Force them to volunteer at a daycare to test their mettle. Seriously, 6 months minimum.
@@seabreeze4559one guy years ago kept telling me that he loved kids. I guess he thought that was supposed to trigger the mom gene or something in me 😂
I went to a kid organization and gave him the volunteer documents to fill out. He made so many excuses, could barely speak proper English anymore lol and then kept asking me if I was going to volunteer. 😅I told him straight: “I haven’t been walking around talking about how much I love kids and I wanna be a big influence in their lives. You’ve been saying that, so what’s the problem?”
He never volunteered and he didn’t even write his name on the document. Just crumpled it up and put it in his back pocket.
@@indigoGoddess7 men have told me they want a football team of kids and I'm like how much childcare experience do you have? blank stare. well, how many hours dya wanna spend with the kids PER DAY? 0 basically. they think kids are goldfish.
@@seabreeze4559ask him if he has football team owner money
Children are a luxury. They cost not just financially, but in time, emotion, mental load, etc.
I always knew I wanted to be a mom, and I am lucky my partner is active and engaged in our child's life. But I fully understand why so many people are choosing to be child free.
According to one chart I saw the decline in birthrates has more to do with the drop in teen pregnancy than grown adults not having kids. Fewer babies having babies means fewer babies. If the chart was accurate it wasn't an alarming thing that governments are making it.
I don’t know if I’m expensive (I probably am) but when people with families tell me their expenses is only like $2200 a month I look at them and wonder. My expenses as a single woman is about that. Granted. I eat what I want. I’ll buy steaks, seafood, done in nice places, eat out multiple times a month, I go out to bars occasionally. I literally look at them and wonder HOW? I be in some sort of emotional turmoil about children, sometimes it stresses me to think about where I would be or doing if I had kids 😭 Then I realize I don’t and relax because I literally don’t want to sacrifice anything! Like nothing at all!
blatantly neglecting those kids, oddly a lot of fertility problems in young people now are rooted in neglecting nutritional needs from their parents, same ones pressuring about grandkids, so their neglect LITERALLY STERILISED their kids with PCOS and low sperm counts etc.
Awesome! Keep living your best life!
I’m so glad to have a man that is more uninterested in parenthood than I am.
You deserve everything you want in life, beautiful. That crown looks good on you, queen.
1. I never wanted to have children biologically. I wanted to adopt later in life.
2. When I did get pregnant, I decided not to get an abortion because I truly believed that the community resources available to me would be enough to help. I didn't know about all the different caveats, the fine prints, or the term-limits. Most of the resources were no longer available before my child even reached school-age.
3. I was punished with CPS for staying in a harmful relationship while pregnant, then punished by my family for leaving the father.
4. When was in the mental hospital 6 months post-partum, the way I was prescribed meds was based on the doctor's decision on whether or not to prioritize the protection of my reproductive health. I was never asked whether or not I even wanted (more) kids. It was just decided I was the right age and deemed not too crazy. Turns out I was ALSO misdiagnosed and more "unfit" than they initially thought. My ability to birth was more significant than accurate diagnosis and treatment.
5. I've been criticized for saying I feel like I was "too young" for motherhood. I was 19 when I gave birth. I was still a -TEEN, but because I had graduated high school and was over 18, that in itself is society's only criteria for a woman's readiness to birth.
6. Baby daddy didn't even attempt to co-parent for the first few years of my child's life and only showed up on father's day consistently. Even kiddo's bday was a coin flip. Just for the aesthetic. While I'm grateful he's more involved now, it is still only for the fun stuff.
7. Any relationship I've had since baby daddy inevitably turns into me being accused of trying to find a step-daddy the second my relationship gets serious.
8. I sacrificed my entire autonomy to stay with the very family I SWORE to get away from after high school, just so I could have SOME inkling of help and village raising my child, albeit on the more dysfunctional side of things. I graduated top 10% of my high school class and ended up stay at home caretaker for a household of 8-10 (it fluctuates based on family drama)
9. Despite EVERYTHING I've mentioned above, I'm still not eligible for benefits. I don't have much work history at all, and a massive gap now. I don't get to claim my own child as a dependent because it was best for our family financially for someone in the family other than myself to be legal guardian of my child, even though I still do 60-80% of her daily and mundane responsibilities myself (transportation and food are delegated). And I'm still expected to enter the workforce, criticized for not having a job, and stigmatized for my mental health that I can't even get treatment for anymore.
10. Society really loves to judge and shame every mom's path with such scrutiny, then expect mom's to do everything under the sun completely alone without any help. And don't even get me started on the expectation for but criticism of pageantry too; you're not supposed to let yourself go after becoming a mom/wife, but you're not supposed to look TOO hot, either, because that means you're spending too much time on yourself that you should have been spending on the children/home.
11. I love my kid with all my heart. I don't always like being a caretaker. It's hard. It's REALLY hard and stressful.
Damn. This is a story!! How are you today
@BurbNBougie thank you for this video! I'm definitely going to have to check out some of your others!
Today is one of the better days so far! I hope yours is going well, and that your week goes smoothly!
While what I shared is a LOT to take in, things are starting to look up! The life situation I'm in is still tough and stressful, but my mental health and how I cope with things has significantly improved. The lessons of the past year have been game changers:
-it's okay to prioritize yourself even if you're a mom. Put your oxygen mask on first.
-You can't help others as effectively when you yourself need help, and it's okay to ask for it.
-when you decenter romance and seek village/community of shared values, you find love in abundance
-even though self-help isn't the same as an extensive team and treatment plan, familiarizing myself with schema therapy concepts has been so helpful
- unmasking is hard, but it's worth it. If an immediate environment requires masking to avoid repercussions, finding safe spaces to unmask becomes essential to my self care routine to avoid burnout.
One thing a man who's "gone his own way" will do, is come back to tell you he's gone his own way. 😭😭😭
🤣🤣🤣
Men say they want a legacy but they have nothing to make a legacy and leave their kids. They want the title of dad like an accessory.
I think women shouldnt have kids until they are paid the full salary in a lump sum. So the scientists said a mother is worth 150,000 a year x that by 18... thats what i want in a lump sum and then will talk about more babies for this country imo.
These billionaires should know that to get money, you gotta spend some. And in shrinking society, especially with growing chasm between few rich and wider society that can't afford anything so does their power. Less people believe in money, more do in brute force. And that tiny thread of belief is what holds all the economy together. If they want worker bees or anyone around to flex on, they gotta invest in them first. Babies don't pop out of nothing, they need resources.
Every time shrinking birth rates come up they blame modern women and claim it's not an issue of finances or paternal abandonment because some women in poor countries give birth more. They fail to realize that housing in poor countries is dirt cheap but everything else is expensive for them so the hardest to get part that no good samaritan will just hand to you is easier there. The most foundational need for child bearing is a roof over your head which is dirt cheap in poor countries while energy, services and food is pricey. It's easier to barely scrape by than in the west but harder to thrive.
Poorer countries also have more loyal men but not do to nature but because it's harder to stray when you're broke. Men stick around more, entertainment is expensive, unprotected sex happens out of boredom so there are more kids.
That cartoon is EVERYTHING
I just had this conversation with a man- said he wanted to start a family and he said "it just feels right" & "legacy things"-
From my perspective, this just seems like what people say when they don't know what to do with their life & haven't even really considered the reality of being a parent.
So many people become parents for existential reasons.
I always think it's so easy for men to say they want kids, too.
People don't always actually want what they say they do- and kids deserve present & responsible fathers.
That said, the economy is so bad people don't even feel comfortable actually having kids anyway.
I am absolutely adamant about not wanting children. When folks ask me, “Well what if your boyfriend wants them?” I respond that I would not be dating anyone who wanted children.
Also for crying out loud, the human population worldwide has gone from 5 billion to 8 billion within my 35 years on this planet. I think it’s okay for the birth rate to drop some, pretty sure the species will be fine.
You got add the *not....after adamant about. For ppl who can't add the missing word real quick
@@BurbNBougieYour editing eye is much appreciated, thank you! 😂
I'm so sorry folks say that to you. I'm glad you know that YOUR rights matter and not a boyfriend's
While I take my marriage seriously, I don't take the specific vows seriously. Our wedding was officiated by a Christian pastor, at my husband's insistence. The pastor was a friend of his and it meant a lot to him for this particular person to do it. But, neither of us are Christians. My husband is actually jealous of a shirt I bought that says on the back "Religion makes me sick!" 😂 I guess I'll have to order him one. Just more money to one of my favorite bands!
He honestly does more of the household chores than I do. He has more time off from work than I do, and he just does it. I do help out a lot, and being 6 days post surgery, he sees how much I do, now that I can't do nearly as much, until I heal.
We are child-free by choice, and he brought all three of our cats into our home. I'm not complaining, the cats all love me more, lol.
I think the stats suggest that as healthcare and women's education improves, birth rates go down. Because they always would have if women had had a choice and an alternative. But that's at a population level so there will always be individual reasons to have or not have kids. There will still be women who love being pregnant and having kids as well as women who don't want any.
I had kids because I wanted to and was prepared and trained to be able to do it alone if need be. And boy did need be! I also spaced my kids out quite a bit with an iud and all that did to my body. My life moves more smoothly and I am less stressed as a single mom by choice. If I have any more children it will be by anonymous donor.
Good for you! Glad you were able to take control of your life!
My country has completely free childcare and 3 years maternity leave when you get payed.
But men still expect women to work (even during maternity leave), do all houselabor and raise kids without any help.
Yeah, no one wants to birth their kids 🤷♀️
In Japan and some other countries, Homemakers are protected by law and they get paid from the government, if the women tin those countries still don’t want to have children, what do think women in a country that offers no rights for homemakers gonna do?
I mean, if women ARE the new homemakers, then they would just sabotage because they hate their own games to be shifted against their favor.
I grew up poor, and I have no desire to raise a child in poverty. Minimum, working class lifestyle but preferably a middle income lifestyle for any child I have.
That was quite the thread!!! Quinn is giving me life right now!! Thanks for sharing that. 😈💜
The way society views children has changed as well. They really did use to be free labor, pension plan and legacy all in one package. It came with admonitions to be strict and use corporal punishment to ensure the kids would be obedient and adhere to societal expectations. Sayings like spare the rod and spoil the child or children should be seen and not heard exemplify that attitude. Nowadays, this is rightly seen as abusive. Better ways to parent, however, do not come naturally to all parents. With it comes the recognition that being a good parent is bloody difficult. Combine that with the freedom that comes with modern medicine's general influence on all parts of the procreation process and the fact that it's becoming more difficult to pressure unwilling women into agreeing to bear children and you get what we see now. The whole reason the far right reaction to that is a blatant attempt to take away rights instead of stepping up and helping in a useful and caring manner is because they recognize that it's a bloody difficult and exhausting thing to do and they don't want to do it.
When I asked my narcissistic brother why he wanted to have kids, he said that it'll make him feel like God coz he's the creator of his kids. I don't feel sorry for his kids either coz they will turn up into narcs themselves coz both their parents are crazy. I only feel sorry for the people who have to deal with these moron family.
They don't create, they are the bees in this math. Fertilizers. 😄
Lol
Delusional
The mother of his children is the creator, not him.
Not all children of narcissists become narcissists also. Both my parents were, including the step douche. I turned out as a kind, empathetic individual. There is always a black sheep, and they are always scapegoated to the point of questioning not only reality but also the worth in continuing to live.
Please, have some compassion for at least your black sheep nibling
"God will provide" yet thousands of children regularly die of hunger. Why didn't God provide for them? Were their parents not pious enough for them to deserve life? People who say stuff like this really do need to wake up and stop living in magic land, but they will not budge until they are personally affected.
God either doesn't exist, or is too cruel to be worth contact
My simple answer is the world is going to shit. Life is cruel to a "normal" child let alone to an autistic one or to a disabled one.
There are so many illnesses a child can develop after birth is insane. Besides, I am aware of the mental and physical illnesses I am predisposed to, which is a lot. Now add all that, plus the father has his baggage too. Not everyone can win the genetic lottery. I know I cost a lot of money to my parents.
I have both mental and physical illnesses that I am sure that child will inherit, so I'd rather not play Russian roulette with them.
I think a lot of people think like that, too. They are aware of their illnesses and wouldn't want an innocent child to be subjected to all that.
Also, I grew up poor. I can't exaçtly blame my parents for this, though, because we were doing great until 2007 when our country's economy went to shit, and my father was fired from his well-paying job. After that, it was straight poverty. I just wish my parents would have gotten their asses up and moved to a different country instead of letting us suffer here for decades.
Also, I hate my family. They keep trying to buy the house my grandma left for me and my brother, saying they want their part of the money. I will never give them the satisfaction of watching me suffer with a kid. Never
Seeing my older sister suffer with only one child while both she and her husband have well-paying jobs is enough for birth control.
Just a reminder dudes get to leave a legacy with their kids. Women do not. So again why do it. Its not like they get my last name?
Mine have my last name. Can't you chose in your country? Btw, legacy is not just dumping your DNA. Legacy is what remarkable you give to society so it is mostly women that create legacy by raising decent kids. Put the message out. Change the narratives. 🙂
That cartoon sums up marriage.
The follow up cartoon would be the one my mum snipped and kept: frazzled woman at the ironing board with puts boiling over on the stove, children running wild mess everywhere - man sitting on the couch relaxing reading the paper commenting to his wife "I don't know what happened to you, you used to be such a fun person"
@@kaybee6050 they complain about ho/usewife conversion but deliberately seek the party girl only to degrade her for "not being the woman I met"... SIRS YOU CHANGED HER
Props to my friends that have and/or are planning to have kids. Among other reasons I'm CF, the whole ordeal of pregnancy doesn't appeal to me. I'm happy to be the fun aunt
The myth of the SAHM/housewife is (of course) based in systemic rac'ism. After sla'very was abolished, the US gov't enforced laws that _required_ Black women to work, even if their family could afford for them to be SAHM (particularly after Black soldiers started getting good pensions in WWII). Black women were required to show proof of employment or face jail time. And during this time period, the only type of job a Black woman (or any woman) could get employment was doing domestic labor. So Black women were effectively forced by the US govt to continue to serve as house sla'ves for meagre wages in order to ensure white people (especially white women) were able to live the "American dream" of comfort and dominance... The larger goal being to continue sewing rac'ial discord amongst the working class so that the ruling class could continue exploiting _everybody._
There is a creator on here who has a full video explaining it, complete with historical documents and citations. And of course, with yt's sh*tty search algorithm, I can't find that video 🙄
TLDR about my lenghty comment: Too little content online from fathers to (aspiring) fathers about the responsibility/how-to's of taking care of children. Think this is also an indication of how little emphasis society is putting on a man's burden in parenthood.
What really helped me to establish if I was willing to become a parent, was to ask myself a few questions about horrible scenarios that could happen and still be ok with the decision.
- If my partner was to leave/pass away and I have to take full care, would I still like to have them?
- If my child was disabled to the point of needing 24/7 care, would I sacrifice huge parts of my own livelihood for them still?
- I made a mistake and did not realize their mom was a narc. No matter what I believe of my partner then, would I still take full responsibility of my children?
- Am I willing to have many sleepless nights and pain inflicted upon me because of the burdens that come with raising a child?
- I am essentially putting my partner in a hospital bed and danger because of this wish we BOTH share.
For me, all the answers were still that yes, I would still love to raise a child.
I however see very few videos or shared information otherwise from other men talking about this or anything similar. I really had to search, like deep dive, to get more info or understanding about the burdens that come with being a parent/father.
There is also very little information around that tells you about how to have these harsh conversations with your partner.. as really they can be quite difficult to discuss. Hypothetical scenarios where I would divorce her for petty reasons and us still needing to take care of the children together somehow.
I am really missing that kind of content going around, and it shows just how little people actually seem to care about the responsibilities that come with being a father/mother. Quite worrying.
I also had more success finding that kind of content about the "harsh stuff" when looking with the terms of "as a mom", showing just how much more content there is for moms that want to have children as opposed to fathers. Credit where credit is due though, I found some amazing channels about how to support your partner through labour as a father, for which I am really grateful.
Canada has 3 dollar a day daycare and gives out a baby bonus ever 3 months of 75 dollars a kid. Their version of Social Security credits caregivers as well. If the US did this and had affordable college tution, the birthrate would go up.
No it wouldn't. Most people still can't afford a house. It would take a lot more than that.
@@raichutoyou true. A few more ppl might have kids.
@@raichutoyou stop all corporations from owning residential property, problem solved. Private citizens only. Not even LLCs.
The surgeon general talks about the stress level of parental responsibilities. It is an investment of self, and takes a lot if sacrifices.
raising good kids is a civic duty, which people are only NOW discussing openly
@@seabreeze4559nahh we don’t owe society anything for being born women. If it dies out because men suck and the process sucks. Then ohh well
I am so blessed and grateful to be married to a man who is a fantastic father, husband and overall wonderful human being. He takes care of our daughter, perhaps not as much as me, but still a great deal. And even he says that most men are not what kids and women deserve.
Those corporations who need workers are bullying women into having in children by taking away our rights and calling us crazy cat ladies (I'm looking at you JD Vance).
I love MGTOW need to go their own way and stay over there. 😂 💯
Mgtow is hook-up-culture.
I just wish they meant it. They’re just pretending to run to see if we’ll chase them 🙄
Yep. Im 37 i had 1 child with my ex husband i love him to pieces but i did 95 percent of it on my own when we were married and 100% when i divorced him. I work 50+ hours per week. I got divorced when my son was 4. Since then finding a good man who would be faithful. Marriage and children minded. Financially stable. And emotionally available has been a challenge. By the time i finally found that man i was 36. He was 41 he also only had 1 child.and both of our kids are 16 and 17 years old.....were not starting over. Were almost done. We will enjoy our empty nest in a few years. Travel. Build wealth for retirement and enjoy the next chapter of our lives. Both of us would have had more kids if we had met a decade ago. Men need to do better and we need to educate young men and women better on red flags. Narcissism. Attachment styles. Compatibility. Fighting fair. And to date people who share your values. It took me until my 30s to figure it out and stop wasting time trying to see the best in broke dudes with no ambition, narcissistic and emotionally unavailable men who played with my heart for far too long.
OMG! This is, without a doubt, the BEST video I have seen on this topic. "The economy should adjust to the current birthrate." Is something I especially agree with, we are OVERPOPOLATED, so the declining birthrate should generally speaking be a good thing! Yet, goverments and whatnot are still panicking and trying to pressure women into giving birth again! When it shohld be the other way around! SUPPORT MOTHERA LIKE THEY'VE ALWAYS DESERVED TO, GODDAMIT!
Shoutout to hearing from the women of Germany... I love hearing from all over the world more specifically. This is so good that we can all have a voice. Keep speaking up women. We need to hear from each other. I myself am in the UK.
I didn't know you were in the UK.
11:27 Isn't it funny how "God" always provides through kind-hearted individuals? I used to see this all the time with Fundagelical adoption mommybloggers. They'd post about some financial crisis they were in, and a lot of their regular readers would hit the blog's PayPal button and donate money. Then the mommyblogger would post an enthusiastic thank you to her donors, while simultaneously praising "God" for providing.
Nobody talks about the millions of children in the world who suffer and die from preventable conditions due their family's poverty. I imagine if a skeptic asked them directly about this, they'd blame these tragedies on the parent's lack of *true* faith, or belief in the wrong religion.
Fundagelical?! Amazing word
@@BurbNBougie I learned it on Patheos, back when non-Christian columns were allowed. In short, it refers to Culture War Christians of different denominations with a shared opposition to feminism, LGBT+ rights, and separation of Church and State.
"courts are working overtime in favor of mothers!" literally anytime a father actually goes for custody they win everytime. a man loosing custody is a choice.
That’s a good point. Do men want to “raise a child” or “have a baby”.
I think childbirth rates has to do a lot with having your own home with all things needed being right there. I also think this is sexual natural selection happening in real time. The requirements for a “genetic father” changed from what they were just a century ago… like.. men are not dying anymore like used to, they’re living long lives and we had to deal with them on everyday basis.. which means our desire for more calm, collected and intelligent men only grew stronger. I don’t see how that’s not going to benefit future generations. Of course the down side being that it might lead to a “bottleneck event” someday, but humanity survived it ones
YES
Men want to be fathers like kids want to have pets. They want the idea of it, and grotesquely often have zero interest in actually parenting
Maybe the truth is that the sacrifices needed for human reproduction are just inherently incompatible with being a creature smart enough to consider the pros and cons of pregnancy AND develop technology to avoid it. I suspect if men hadn’t forced women to be mothers with no alternatives for millennia, we’d have either evolved a better reproductive strategy (only the lineages of the women with the least taxing/destructive pregnancies would multiply) or died out like the evolutionary dead end we (probably) are.
Its kinda weird republicans saying god will provide while at the same time complaining about bidenomics. Idk weird?
You're voting with them.
Most the women around my age who have kids are single mothers. Having children for men is not the same for women having children. I feel like if most women accept this truth the birth rate would be even lower than it is right now (in the country's were women have basic rights of course unfortunately all women globally aren't liberated.)
There are some women who choose to ignore this harsh reality and end up in situations they can't get out of with their lives forever changed.
Hi lovelies, love to see other women talking about this. Until motherhood(parent hood) is valued and compensated we aren't going to have a sustainable TFR.
One thing I would like to add is that even in Christianity and the Bible itself there are a lot of people that do not read it. There's actual scriptural verses that say that a lot of people do not go to the word of God to actually understand it and that people will use the word of God to promote their own ideals. That's why Jesus was fighting the Pharisees, God knows people in power will use religion to get what they want. A biblical woman does not have to bend the knee to a man, both genders and now all genders have to love and respect their partners. Men say that women are to be obedient, but neglect the rest of the passage that says that they need to love their wife as Christ loved the church. (Ephesians 5:25)
YES! This is what I've been saying about religion and Christianity, especially! People do not read the bible and it is very obvious somtimes, as an atheist/agnostic with some knowledge of the bible and having read it even as a child, I still recall more than most casual Christians! Most Christians do not follow the book at all, such as no tattoos, no mixing of cloth, and other such things that would be relatively simple to refrain from. You could just wear 100% cotton, or leather, or whatever else there is. And not getting tattoos is easy!
Having kids is so expensive. I live in Europe, where we have subsidised childcare, parental leave etc. You can say that a state is accommodating to an extent (mother penalty still exists big time though).
I am an in-house counsel and my husband has a good corporate job as well. We live in Western Europe, bought an apartment (on mortgage) and have a car. Even with all of these, I don’t think we can have more than one child.
We both need to work to sustain ourselves and wouldn’t even have time for more than one child.
You can say we are quite privileged and still it’s barely enough! You have all of these super rich people and politicians crying crocodile tears over plummeting child birth rate. Guess what, it is your own doing. The system is unfair to the point of being ridiculous and needs to collapse. Please note that they want children only from specific groups of people. We have so many unattended and exploited children in third world countries, but nobody cares.
Those men who cannot even handle the machine that simulates period cramps. I'm a transman and lived through 10 years of period pains before I was able to stop them entirely. As a man with testosterone, i have not had the pain and mood swings that i felt back then without being dreadfully ill, which is an extremely rare occurrence. I cannot fathom the pain of birth!! Never wanted any kids, much less my own Dx
Im 28 now and ever since I was young and old enough to realize how shitty it all is, I told my mother to not expect children from me.
Hell, my grandma did a lot of work and now her husband, whom she still feels obliged to care for(at 90) didnt even allow her to have a proper mattress to have less shitty nights...
Father was a drunk fucker who mother thought she could change, only he drunk himself to death.
Why would someone risk a bit of flesh pleasure for putting someone in this world to me was insane.
I've got surgery done, no kids for me, ever, not adding to the suffering of the next.