dude i just start realizing that i don’t need to drop someone at the first flaw i see. they show up how they want to show up; i should accept that. i forget that all my friends accept me for exactly how i show up and i should take more value into that.
I like the "healthy disagreement" point. As you said it's impossible to not have a disagreement in a long friendship. If friendship is a healthy one, we just love them despite flaws ❤
I have friends but I feel like I could never show them my true self, even to my closest friends whom I often hang out with. We talk about work, boss and colleagues at workplace, interests, life goals, career, movies that are all the hype at that time or any latest news etc. But I never share with them about my pain, my loss, my struggles, my mental health. I feel like people only want to be around positive people, and if you show any sign of weakness or negative thoughts, you will shoo them away. Growing up, I soon released I’m my only friend. The only person in the world who could understand me. People just don’t understand, and it’s impossible to make them understand. I don’t expect my friends to understand, but I do want their compassion and that they don’t judge me for the decisions I make for myself. I love my friends, but I will never show them my true self.
Maybe you should try opening up a bit about your struggle then see how they will react about it. If it's so insensitive or disregarding of them, at least you have the answer for yourself. I've been through the same situation w my ex and it was so lonely, but at least I got the answer and I went away. 😊
If that was true (that showing one's true self with the personal struggles etc will shoo everybody away) then no Goth would ever have any friends, ever (:
i can relate to you. in the video, via talked about if you show your weaknesses then now they have something against you, but they'll never actually do anything to harm you with that information. it has happened to me, subtly but, if i tell anyone anything, later on they'll joke about sensitive topics or blame me for it etc., so I've stopped. it's really hard to keep my struggles to myself and not tell literally anyone i feel like i might explode, especially bc i often get in a really talkative mood and overshare then regret later, bc i barely ever talk anymore and when i do it's totally filtered. I'm not encouraging you to do the same, i still don't have a good answer too. i guess I'll just meet new people and do something different, act differently, and, in the future, hope they will love me and be happy to have me around. i feel you.
@@bluenoodlenow Hi, thank you so much for your reply. Your words warm my heart. I feel you too. We are all trying to be mentally stronger every single day. Right now I live by one principle. Do not overshare. Keep things to yourself. Do not show any sign of weakness, vulnerability or negative thoughts/ feelings cuz as I said, people just want to be around positive people, and as Via said, some may use your weakness against you. I’m now 25 and I wish I had learned this sooner. I know my principle is extreme, but I don’t know really. I haven’t figured out life yet, I don’t know what is the best way for me to live, maybe I will change in the next few years, but for now this is how I live. I moved to a new country that is Germany, met a lot of new friends, new colleagues. This is how I have lived ever since moving to Germany and how I will continue to live if nothing changes. I also feel like I might explode if I can’t open up to someone. But from my many experiences in the past, it’s still very much better to keep it to myself. I always regret telling my friends about my extremely dysfunctional family, I regret it so bad, so now I don’t do it anymore. I keep my mouth shut. Deep down I still wish I could have someone, a friend or partner whom I could open up to, tell them about my pain, my loss, my struggles without feeling like I’m such a burden to them, but that means breaking my principle. Idk, I think if someone chooses to open up to me first, then I might open up to them. All I know is I would never tell them 4 following sentences: 1. People have it worse than you. 2. You’re overreacting. 3. I’m suffering too, but I’m not like you. 4. Just think positively. That’s what people have said to me and it really hurts. I promise to myself that I would never say that to anyone if they choose to open up to me. Thank you for reading. I wish you all the best, I hope you stay strong mentally, and I hope you can find someone whom you can trust and love you for who you are.
Thank you Via, I just felt very lonely with no people that truly understands me. I feel like friends are something I could never have because people don’t like me. Then your video popped up and this feels like a sign from the universe. Thank you ☺️
I'm struggling with my trust issues because a lot of my friends in the past were fake, and now even if i make a new friend i just know they're not gonna stay with me, so i just keep myself away from people even though i feel so lonely but i don't want to hurt my feelings
i struggled with this and even now i do. it’s hard to trust people when you’ve been backstabbed in the past. but we need to remember that not everyone are the people who hurt us. trust me, there are good people are there. and ofc there are shitty people out there. but to build true and meaningful friends, we have to be vulnerable and let people in 🤍
Are you sure that it was their fault everytime? Not saying this to invalidate your experience ,it's just that sometimes we don't notice that we are holding people to crazy standards where the tiniest mistake is a "backstabbing" . Basically what Via talked about in the first part of the video 😅. But of course only you know what actually happened, so it might have been that it was the other people's fault everytime, that's also a possible scenario, and it can be tough if it keeps happening 😕😕
@@homiekeen23 I'm not an angel, and i know that I've hurt some people myself, but i always end the friendship after they do something wrong and thay cross my boundaries. My best friend for 5 years for example, she stopped talking to me just because i passed the exams and she didn't, how she can be a real friend while she gets jealous of anything i do
you make so many people feel less alone, i hope you know that. as a kid i never learned how to be open around people. for the last few years i've been working really hard at it, trying to be vulnerable around them, because that's how you make deeper friendships. and-it's hard. and i'm uncomfortable with it, but it's necessary stuff. 'short term discomfort for long term peace.' thank you via. let's keep going. sending love.
i've recently almost lost all my friends and i have a lot family issues and every time you surprise me with a video that warms my heart and make me feel better and move on thank you so much via 💗
Via, you are such a good person. I’ve been dealing with having no friends i guess for 3 years now. And you can’t even imagine (ik you can) how hard and f*cked up that is. You feel bad, but don’t have anyone to talk. You cry, but don’t have anyone to share your feelings or show them. Believe me, my depression’s main builder is this. When I saw your first video, having no friends, it triggered me a little bit tbh. Because I didn’t want to face something that I feel guilty about it. I feel like “you are the reason you don’t have friends.” And trust me, as a person who always makes herself guilty, convicted, tells herself that you are ugly, you’re not enough for anything, you can’t do anything at all, it’s so god damn hard girl. Whenever your eyes are full, also my eyes are full. We might faced totally different situations but at the end, i think it’s a little bit similar about feelings that we feel. I have never said to myself “I’m proud of you, I’m proud of what you have been through and still here, still breathing and still have hope, things to do.” but I can tell you this with my whole heart. Congratulations for your effort for living. I mean it. Never forget that your power of dealing with all of things is something that not everyone can do. I appreciate for you, for you existing. Keep going. I wish you best, with my whoole heart. Even though we are sooo so far away from each other. (This girl lives in Istanbul 😂😂) ♥️♥️✨
I don't have any close friends, I used to feel lonely but now i am focusing on my personal growth, since i created a healthy boundaries for friendships i am in so much peace. I hope some day i can find my kind of people whom i can call real friends ❤❤
i think via saying that inevitably you'll find flaws in your friends and that being normal was an eye-opener for me. i think i have this mindset of where i can't have good friendships until i am perfect and i fit together with another person perfectly. but now i realize that being different is ok, it's what makes you and others unique and that it's ok to have disagreements because in the end it's still a friendship both parties cherish. thank you sm via !!
Oh via I have to say this, I used to have like 0 friends in highschool and I used to blame myself because I thought it was because of my personality or something so this helped me 🌸
One thing I can take from this video is the need to vocalise yourself and being able to be your vulnerable self. In order to build those really good friendships. That is something I've picked up in myself, I don't like being vulnerable or showing true self. Could a a fear of judgement thing
Making long term friends has always been a struggle for me. And like you pointed out, I would wear a mask sometimes in these friendships and I wouldn’t feel as happy as I should and then it would make me shameful when I’d want to be myself. I’ve learned to enjoy being by myself but now I’ve learned to be my more genuine self with people I would see as wanting to be good friends with. Life’s too short to worry if 1 of 7 billion people won’t become a long term friend! Anyway thank you for being my virtual therapist (will get a irl one soon ofc lol)
This is exactly what I needed to hear pretty much everything you said was so me. I’ve realized that I’ve just been so afraid of the steps that it takes to have long term friendships that I’ve let good friends pass me by. It can be scary but it’s definitely necessary sending you lots of love 🤍
I always get overwhelmed and burst into tears when I think about myself- I distance myself from people who show me love before things get serious and for them to think that we're close. I really have no idea but as said in this video I'm scared or not good with the long term friendships. Finding flaws in people is the secondary for me but I always tend to match the people's energy to feel included but internally I'd be crying to be left alone. It feels like shit when you don't know how you feel. Thank you so much for the video It was so relatable and yet comforting to know that there are people like me who feels the same. Listening to you will always be a therapy love youuu❤
I don't want to trauma dump, but lately ive been called annoying 4 being an extrovert, so, ive been keeping to myself and to see this video pop up just made me feel supported and related too. Tysm Via!
Badly Wanting to be independent when facing bad circumstances is so true we see depending as weakness but "Having friends is not a sign of weakness, having friends is great ❤"
I just realized, not to say that this particular video was the catalyst, that i like her videos so much because she puts her own subtitles in like every video which is really nice.
i feel like i’ve tried so hard over the years to make friends and tried to fit in sooo much but it’s made me insecure that i haven’t been able to make friends and over time ive sort of lost myself i hid my interests and hobbies and now i just feel like a shell of a person.
I find the point about "trying to communicate and putting yourself out there, no matter what" really important. I'm a really young boy, not even out of teenagehood yet, so the expectations for me are that I make a titanic amount of friends and go out every weekend, start dating etc... Now, I struggle a lot with self-loathing, loneliness and anxiety derived from them, so when I tried to follow such expectations and become friends with a bunch of people which seemed cool, and it didn't work out, despite therapy and all the improvements I'd made up to that point... It hurt. I felt ashamed. Disgusted, even. I started thinking I *deserved* to be lonely, because all my attempts failed, so there must have been something fundamentally wrong with me, something about socializing I just did not get, about my personality, my hobbies, or whatever. All that mattered, to my mind, was telling me that... I was NOT okay as a person. I loathed myself so much that at one point I started thinking I was trans just because... I wanted to be another person. With another name. Another personality. But that person, even if she existed and were a girl instead of a boy... Would have been me. Me and nobody else. So, the point I'm trying to make with this way too long comment is that yes, you might fail and yes, you will feel ashamed. But remember: shame is TEMPORARY. It won't last forever. And the part about "being fundamentally wrong as a person?" BULLSHIT. That is a lie. A faulty coping mechanism. Almost escapism, if you want to see it like that. So acknowledge and accept your feelings, but don't give into them. Embrace them, accept them as part of you without disregarding them, but don't follow the impulses they cause. That will bring you down a path at the end of which you become your own worst enemy, and I.... would not wish that on my worst enemy. P.S. Thanks a lot, Via. If I was able to come to this realization it is partly thanks to you and your videos. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
Recently went through a friendship breakup. I have communicated three times about my concerns to the point I got tired cause I wasn't met halfway. I agree that communication is key but at some point, it's gonna deteriorate you slowly especially when the other person constantly doesn't see eye to eye and ends up making you feel like you didn't communicate well enough :(
i enjoy your videos sm they comfort me, i used to always care about having freinds and get anxious when i realise i dont find true friends, but i realise you cant force a friendship, and force it to last long, because some people just cannot connect in a way? based on my experience. anyways you make me feel that its okay to be by yourself sometimes and friends are great but its okay to not have many of them
as good as it is to be able to make peace with being on your own, we are social animals so it is important to make friends or connections of some kind (they dont have to be really close friendships, it is hard to make friends!) this is something i struggled with a lot early in adulthood.
Your channel is literally so relevant to my life. I found it hard to find true friends and people who really care about me. I’m usually alone most of the time, people are only there for me when they need something. When I got slightly older, I found a real and true best friend that accepts me for me and stands up for me and helps me to be a better version of myself.
I lost a group of friends because they were being really agressive towards me and I never have like close friends so I tried my best to communicate but a friendship is always 2 sided, if you try your best to fix the relationship and they dont care then its over, you did your best to fix, but its 2 sided, if they dont care then its not gonna work. I love you videos Via! keep going strong! you are like a friend I can listen to while doing things
sis this video healed me so much this defended me to not to have a bad friendship i was just begging that one girl to stay with me but now i am healed and i now i just will do friendship with those who are loyal w me tysm!!❤
For me honestly, it's kind of the opposite : I crave longterm friendships, and so I tend to over share and try to get close to someone I feel great with (even if i just met them a few weeks ago) because to get close to someone you have to open up. But I open up to easily, and at the end those people do not do the same towards me, so I just find myself oversharing personal information with people that don't deserve it (and I can't have a longterm frendship). Maybe there is a proper timing to open up that I can't seem to catch. And I really try and give my best but I feel like I'm the only one giving at some point and I'm not receiving anything. And the worst is that I'm good at getting new friends, but it's not longterm friendships, it'll just last a few years, and I'll replace them again with those new shorttem frienships.
Having friends can be a benefit, but often you feel too surrounded, so you often have too much of an overdose of friendship. You're right: you need to have a friend who knows how to respect your boundaries. Thanks for talking about it. We love you vivi.
i usually am not one to comment on videos, but i came back to this one today as a reminder to keep trying! i like how you mention to reflect on the standards you have for yourself and friends i think i had a childhood where friends kept coming and going because i was either avoidant to communicate or wanting to walk away cuz they were too different from me … thank you for making me want to try and have hope again
thank you so much for sharing this with us and discussing this kind of sensitive topic. i think that a lot of teenagers these days, tgink that having friends is important in their life but in my openion, havibg is just a bonus and it'ssucha wonderful thing but also enjoying our own time, itcan be so joyful and make us know our selves better so thank you so much for sharing this and i love your aesthetic and the energy you give. 💗💗
Having no friends used to be the best thing in my life years ago..bc I was and im still a weirdo..and also i work better by myself. I can focus and show my flaws to my own self and i can accept it from me bc i love me. But sometimes i feel emptiness in my inside like i need someone to hug me or to tell me it's gonna be okay and that they're here for me but i know damn well i can't do that. I can't show my weak self to anyone no matter how close he/she is to me. Im afraid they won't accept me like that. That's why im convincing my self that im gonna be okay with my own company
one of the reason i kept myself from making friends is the "well it isn't going to last forever" mindset which is soooo sad tbh. not every friendship will last but that doesn't mean it's not a valuable mindset
"Your friends are not a clone of you" lol! girl I needed that. So true. I do try to ignore certain things about people because yes no one is perfect including me. But I'm very good at studying people so I just know what I can and cannot say or share with certain people. This is why it can be a bit exhausting when you cannot be yourself around certain people :( like you said it feel likes acting. Another great video glad I am not alone with similar experiences.
I graduated high school over a year ago and I have NO friends. I have no idea what to do with my life and so scared I'm going to waste my youth. Its lonely. Everyone I use to be friends with are gone because I wanted independency so bad.
I know there are people like me and who will like me. Except I can only ever find them online, never in person, and it sucks. But this video has reminded me how much I need to keep trying.
girl via u have me in TEARS u literally opened my eyes this is like literally what I needed. when u first said how your therapist said how u might be scared of long term relationships I was like "hmmm not me". well after watching the video... its true I am very much so scared. when u said how flaws arent bad, and how none of these things are a weakness I subconsciously do actually think they actually are. got at lot to work on here. thank you so much for making this video via!! much love mwah mwah mwah
Man I love you so much. This is the exact topic I’ve been struggling about since a few days. My scl just started and I started talking to new people in my class and she actually mentioned something really briefly that she thinks I overshare sometimes and perphaps I should really try to be happy with myself. Watching this video made me realise I overshare because that’s my subconscious attempt of protecting myself against ppl. I overshare and if anyone reacts badly, my brain signals me to cut them off. Obviously this only leads to people taking advantage of my vulnerable side. I relate so hard to be scared of ruining a friendship. I m scared that me struggling with depression and mental health issues will ruin stuff. I hate people seeing me with flaws like that. But as you said, if they’re my real friends, they’ll love me with all my flaws. You’re right, I also never give my true 100% with my personality because I m always in a defensive mode with new people. Tysm via, you don’t know how much I relate to your videos and found comfort in it as a struggling 15 year old. Things are slightly better now as a 16 year old, but I really love these videos of yours.
I need to thank you for posting. I was in a bad place when I came upon your channel and I have never stop watching since then. Your message always touches my heart. I’m really grateful for your videos and for you to share your experiences with us. Thank you ❤❤
I'm in a very lonely place right now. My friend unfriended me so I feel alone, sad at school. I feel really scared and anxious about going to school and seeing that person. This video is somewhat calming me down. Thank you so much ☺️..
So glad someone like u is growing a huge platform 🥲 we need more ppl like u on social media. I actually look forward to every video of urs no matter what its abt bc its usually smth i related to before, now, or will help me in the future !! 💜
im watching this at 1am while struggling to get my hair out of its rat nest and drinking pepsi. this video was so oddly comforting and i'm so grateful you're making videos like these, i find a lot of your content genuinely very motivational and helpful and it's been getting me to do more stuff that i try to avoid lately like cleaning my room, basic 'taking care if myself' things, etc. and i really just wanna say i admire the way you put things into words and i'm so thankful you're making such cool content, you make it feel like i'm actually being listened to and talked to by a close friend, love you via !!! 🤍
I've been a subscriber for a while now and I mainly like your solo trips. However, once I started tuning into your other videos like this one, it made me realize many things. The inner thoughts I had hidden away for my facade to the world came out when I watched this. It hurts and at the same time feels like a burst of fresh air to finally hear someone say the words out loud and to say it's okay and it's hard to be vulnerable. It makes me feel not alone and with your advice and actions to do to gain friends, I feel like I have a better grasp on how to do that. Thank you Via and thank you for telling your thoughts and for helping those who are stuck in this corner.
Lately I have been feeling like I’m growing further and further apart from my high school friends, I still think it’s okay to go out together, but I think our lives are going to go different ways
This video was more than helpful. I sincerely didn’t know that someone could feel or think the same way as I do. To be honest, I didn’t know what I was feeling. I’m the type of person who holds grudges against people for a very long time and loves to be alone. I wonder how life could’ve been if I had communicated but also it does serve as a lesson. Thank you so much for sharing your experience.
Yay I’m happy via posted I used to have 0 friends the few years ago and that really made me so sad but these two years I’ve had many new friends at first I was so happy cause like I have more than 10+ but actually now I’m starting to feel like it’s the same without them i go through my depression sessions alone nobody cares or asks while I’m here giving them all my love and support but like they will never text me if I don’t text first .they are nice people they’re the best I see the way they talk to their friends and comfort them while they don’t even bother to ask about me so yeah they’re good people but just not for me lol it hurts
My problem is that I still think as you used to. I´ve been without friends for a long time, and sometimes I miss having someone to have fun with. Now I´m having a new person in my life, a potential friend, but I´m scared. I´m scared that I hurt her or make her angry (also being avoidant one here), and I feel so awkward just sending messages. It is hard to describe, feels like an invisible wall I´m dealing with. Past years I´ve had certain problem with people, and now I lack confidence in ..relying people. Like, I´m waiting "when the shit happens again". I just feel like I´m a walking disaster. But.. I will try. To see where this path leads, with small steps. Thank you for your video, gives me something to think while trying to live thro my problem :)
Im currently in my no friends era Just graduated college. Tbh it feels good because im introverted but at the same time seeing my classmates often hanging out breaks my heart. Makes me feel some type of way like unloved . But when im around people my social anxiety acts up Its just that i was always the left out one in every friend group. Currently in my journey of solitude. Love your videos❤
I recently discovered your channel, and your videos are so comforting and relatable! Currently studying outside of my home country, and sometimes I feel alone in this world and get depressed easily. Just wanted to say these videos help me so much, thank you Via💗
i literally NEEDED this video rn, all the things u said were like a slap in the face and it’s made me realize so many things abt myself and my flaws in friendships. i love via sm😭
The timing of this is perfect. I still don’t have any friends, but I’m in the process of trying to trust and open up to my family as of right now. They want to help me out of this deep dark hole that I’ve been in for years, but I’m afraid they’re going to see me struggle and start giving me tough love. Here’s to hoping it’s smooth sailings from here on out 🌊✨
I like how you said you are scared of long term relationships/ but still crave long term relationships. The things that you fear are just things that you care about in life. ❤
I'm a 62 year old woman - American, but now living (retired) overseas. I think it's wonderful that you are really working at your therapy and making breakthroughs and now having friends. I finally have more friends as well, here, in my new country. Friends are really the spice of life - well, friends and dogs and cats! 🙌🏽 ❤ I really enjoy your videos. Keep up the great work. 🙌🏽
I acknowledge all flaws in my friends ,be it 'active' or 'passive' flaws, but they seem not to acknowledge mine. It felt unfair because I always have to be the bigger person or to be the 'interesting' one, whereas they just live as they are.
i relate to this video sm. i had a friend group which i felt unwanted when i was with them and i couldn’t get myself to talk to them because some of them always dismissed my feelings. i believe that i can speak my thoughts and feelings very well if the other person is also willing to listen and on the same page as me. knowing this i think most of the people in the friend group don’t have secure attachment and are not mature enough to make a genuine constructive conversation. that’s why i left the group chats without even saying anything. maybe that wasn’t right either but i don’t want to explain myself to someone who just tries to make themselves look better every time and just tells me i overreact. then last year when i saw your other video i was having issues with the same friend group. i’m glad it is over now and i can move forward.
You know what via when iam alone with no freinds at school you were the one that got me through this and i didn't feel lonely bc of your videos about this topic im so grateful for you
I really love you so much i always listen to your video right bf going to school to remind myself that im not alone and via said its okay and i trust you so much so i believe its okay till now im so so grateful for you ❤@via.ilyouu
listening to the music Via puts in her vlog vids whilst travelling to a place you have never been to before is so comforting. Never forget Via you have helped so many little souls ...including mine♥
Tysm Via genuinely this video could not have come at a better time, your advice and journal entries are helping so many people even if you don't realize it
i just love your energy your journey with therapy evolves day by day i think that having no friends can help you have a break of people of their toxicness i don't mean that there aren't good people out their as you said but the problem is when you are soo nice and kind to people they turn out to be back stabbers and i don't reallly want that to happen and i couldn't find that one friend who understands my flaws and whom i feel comfortable with but thank you for your pieces of advice and your soothing videos it really helps to continue by journey to accept my flaws and other peoples
yesterday i had a panic attack because how lonely i felt. I've been struggling with the idea of communicate how i feel to other people bc i feel its just like extra info and no one cares but this friend talked with me about I don´t consider anyone like good friends bc I just simply asume they are going to leave or won't like me. Im not sure how to explain this bc I'm not a native eng speaker but thanks, This video made me realize that I'm just getting far from them bc i don't even give the opportunity to show my true self or consider that the other ones flaws are not that bad it may be wonderful to accept them. It's not easy but I'm still trying to comprehend my feelings
Via is genuinely such an empathetic person, I adore your videos and they've helped better my mindset so so much !!! They help me realize that being different **isn't** a bad thing and they help me love myself more than I realized
I know we don't know each other personally, Via, but I cannot express how much I appreciate you as a person. The amount of empathy, compassion, dedication, and emotional labor you invest in each one of your videos is nothing short of incredible. I hope you have someone in your life who cares as deeply for you as you care for us. I wish you all love and peace. ♥️
Hey Via, I've been watching your content for quite a white. I like your editing style and choice of content produced. To share your life and events with someone is precious and meaningful. Especially when others can relate and see themselves in the same train of thoughts/mental state. I think I may have watched/listened to this video at least over 10 times by now. The biggest part that I relate to is being self-reflective, self-consciousness, or self-aware which leads to overthinking and analyzing yourself. I wish, want, would like to be friends with someone like you. The whole bit on finding the right friends, having a supportive circle, and having real/close friends that you can depend on and be there for you, stood out for me. I feel that because of my environment and how the people are, I never truly had "real" friends or close friends. The friends that I do have is mostly just surface level stuff and nothing deep. There are many other points that I relate to, hits home, and feels nearly the exact same. The part about showing flaws to people for me is that I feel that whenever I do show flaws to others, they just don't care at all. When you said that your trait was that you reciprocate well, for me it's pretty similar and I feel that I wish I had another person on the same level as me. There's many other things that I feel are similar to the things you say but for me there's more complexity/additional things. Also, is it ok if I use bits of your video and other content for reference for a video I'm working on to be released in the future?
I recently realized that I don't even know how to be myself around other people. Like when I'm alone I'm very comfortable & confident in who I am. I feel like I know who I am as a person. But when I'm with others I suddenly don't know how to be myself if that makes sense. It's almost like I just become a blank slate & I only react to what they do, but never really act/take initiative myself. Does anyone else feel this way? Or do any of you have tipps on how to avoid this??
having no friends has its benefits but it can also be very lonely
yes exactly this
Being lonely is good buttt feeling lonely!! Ughh is killing mee
@@Leon10ll1 it'll get better
this is so true
Yeah it's true even i also sometimes feel lonely but I think it's better to feel lonely rather being in a toxic friendship
dude i just start realizing that i don’t need to drop someone at the first flaw i see. they show up how they want to show up; i should accept that. i forget that all my friends accept me for exactly how i show up and i should take more value into that.
you have no idea how happy i am to hear this
Yes wow this is so good thank you!! I withdraw ! And the disagreement
Via li is like the honest person u need cuz no youtuber speaks the truth
Fr
*Frrr*
This is literally my comfort place
mine too
Literally
ISTG NO WORDS CAN DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS WOMAN‼️
we love you viaa
real
@@Cherry_stan sad
I like the "healthy disagreement" point. As you said it's impossible to not have a disagreement in a long friendship. If friendship is a healthy one, we just love them despite flaws ❤
I have friends but I feel like I could never show them my true self, even to my closest friends whom I often hang out with. We talk about work, boss and colleagues at workplace, interests, life goals, career, movies that are all the hype at that time or any latest news etc. But I never share with them about my pain, my loss, my struggles, my mental health.
I feel like people only want to be around positive people, and if you show any sign of weakness or negative thoughts, you will shoo them away.
Growing up, I soon released I’m my only friend. The only person in the world who could understand me.
People just don’t understand, and it’s impossible to make them understand. I don’t expect my friends to understand, but I do want their compassion and that they don’t judge me for the decisions I make for myself.
I love my friends, but I will never show them my true self.
Maybe you should try opening up a bit about your struggle then see how they will react about it. If it's so insensitive or disregarding of them, at least you have the answer for yourself. I've been through the same situation w my ex and it was so lonely, but at least I got the answer and I went away. 😊
If that was true (that showing one's true self with the personal struggles etc will shoo everybody away) then no Goth would ever have any friends, ever (:
I could relate to this so well, could never open up about the struggles no matter how much I love them for being with me.
i can relate to you. in the video, via talked about if you show your weaknesses then now they have something against you, but they'll never actually do anything to harm you with that information. it has happened to me, subtly but, if i tell anyone anything, later on they'll joke about sensitive topics or blame me for it etc., so I've stopped. it's really hard to keep my struggles to myself and not tell literally anyone i feel like i might explode, especially bc i often get in a really talkative mood and overshare then regret later, bc i barely ever talk anymore and when i do it's totally filtered. I'm not encouraging you to do the same, i still don't have a good answer too. i guess I'll just meet new people and do something different, act differently, and, in the future, hope they will love me and be happy to have me around. i feel you.
@@bluenoodlenow Hi, thank you so much for your reply. Your words warm my heart.
I feel you too. We are all trying to be mentally stronger every single day.
Right now I live by one principle. Do not overshare. Keep things to yourself. Do not show any sign of weakness, vulnerability or negative thoughts/ feelings cuz as I said, people just want to be around positive people, and as Via said, some may use your weakness against you.
I’m now 25 and I wish I had learned this sooner. I know my principle is extreme, but I don’t know really. I haven’t figured out life yet, I don’t know what is the best way for me to live, maybe I will change in the next few years, but for now this is how I live.
I moved to a new country that is Germany, met a lot of new friends, new colleagues. This is how I have lived ever since moving to Germany and how I will continue to live if nothing changes.
I also feel like I might explode if I can’t open up to someone. But from my many experiences in the past, it’s still very much better to keep it to myself. I always regret telling my friends about my extremely dysfunctional family, I regret it so bad, so now I don’t do it anymore. I keep my mouth shut.
Deep down I still wish I could have someone, a friend or partner whom I could open up to, tell them about my pain, my loss, my struggles without feeling like I’m such a burden to them, but that means breaking my principle. Idk, I think if someone chooses to open up to me first, then I might open up to them.
All I know is I would never tell them 4 following sentences:
1. People have it worse than you.
2. You’re overreacting.
3. I’m suffering too, but I’m not like you.
4. Just think positively.
That’s what people have said to me and it really hurts. I promise to myself that I would never say that to anyone if they choose to open up to me.
Thank you for reading. I wish you all the best, I hope you stay strong mentally, and I hope you can find someone whom you can trust and love you for who you are.
Via's channel is so comforting
Thank you Via, I just felt very lonely with no people that truly understands me. I feel like friends are something I could never have because people don’t like me. Then your video popped up and this feels like a sign from the universe. Thank you ☺️
@jennnz_ You can have friends! If I can have friends (I can be difficult, at times), you certainly can. ❤🩹
Completely off topic: every single video this human posts has the best face cards. Her face it's just so pleasant to look at.
I was thinking the same thing 😭 her color palette that’s she chooses as far as clothes and makeup is so nice to look at
Byebye world my therapist is here🎀
god i love u so much, when i was at my lowest girl I'm not even exaggerating u pulled me from that. so very grateful for you.
literally same, idk why i didn't discover this yt channel earlier😭❤️🩹
I'm struggling with my trust issues because a lot of my friends in the past were fake, and now even if i make a new friend i just know they're not gonna stay with me, so i just keep myself away from people even though i feel so lonely but i don't want to hurt my feelings
i struggled with this and even now i do. it’s hard to trust people when you’ve been backstabbed in the past. but we need to remember that not everyone are the people who hurt us. trust me, there are good people are there. and ofc there are shitty people out there. but to build true and meaningful friends, we have to be vulnerable and let people in 🤍
same exact reason :(
Are you sure that it was their fault everytime? Not saying this to invalidate your experience ,it's just that sometimes we don't notice that we are holding people to crazy standards where the tiniest mistake is a "backstabbing" . Basically what Via talked about in the first part of the video 😅.
But of course only you know what actually happened, so it might have been that it was the other people's fault everytime, that's also a possible scenario, and it can be tough if it keeps happening 😕😕
@@homiekeen23 I'm not an angel, and i know that I've hurt some people myself, but i always end the friendship after they do something wrong and thay cross my boundaries.
My best friend for 5 years for example, she stopped talking to me just because i passed the exams and she didn't, how she can be a real friend while she gets jealous of anything i do
you make so many people feel less alone, i hope you know that.
as a kid i never learned how to be open around people. for the last few years i've been working really hard at it, trying to be vulnerable around them, because that's how you make deeper friendships. and-it's hard. and i'm uncomfortable with it, but it's necessary stuff. 'short term discomfort for long term peace.' thank you via. let's keep going. sending love.
i've recently almost lost all my friends and i have a lot family issues and every time you surprise me with a video that warms my heart and make me feel better and move on
thank you so much via 💗
from my notes app - "I know love exists because I love and I am not special"
thank you for the video!
Via, you are such a good person. I’ve been dealing with having no friends i guess for 3 years now. And you can’t even imagine (ik you can) how hard and f*cked up that is. You feel bad, but don’t have anyone to talk. You cry, but don’t have anyone to share your feelings or show them. Believe me, my depression’s main builder is this.
When I saw your first video, having no friends, it triggered me a little bit tbh. Because I didn’t want to face something that I feel guilty about it. I feel like “you are the reason you don’t have friends.” And trust me, as a person who always makes herself guilty, convicted, tells herself that you are ugly, you’re not enough for anything, you can’t do anything at all, it’s so god damn hard girl. Whenever your eyes are full, also my eyes are full. We might faced totally different situations but at the end, i think it’s a little bit similar about feelings that we feel. I have never said to myself “I’m proud of you, I’m proud of what you have been through and still here, still breathing and still have hope, things to do.” but I can tell you this with my whole heart. Congratulations for your effort for living. I mean it. Never forget that your power of dealing with all of things is something that not everyone can do. I appreciate for you, for you existing. Keep going. I wish you best, with my whoole heart. Even though we are sooo so far away from each other. (This girl lives in Istanbul 😂😂) ♥️♥️✨
you're so sweet
I don't have any close friends, I used to feel lonely but now i am focusing on my personal growth, since i created a healthy boundaries for friendships i am in so much peace. I hope some day i can find my kind of people whom i can call real friends ❤❤
Via is literally such a genuine human and her just living life makes me wanna keep living life as someone with anxiety ❤
i think via saying that inevitably you'll find flaws in your friends and that being normal was an eye-opener for me. i think i have this mindset of where i can't have good friendships until i am perfect and i fit together with another person perfectly. but now i realize that being different is ok, it's what makes you and others unique and that it's ok to have disagreements because in the end it's still a friendship both parties cherish. thank you sm via !!
Oh via I have to say this, I used to have like 0 friends in highschool and I used to blame myself because I thought it was because of my personality or something so this helped me 🌸
It’s tough to know which flaws in friends are acceptable, and which are unacceptable.
One thing I can take from this video is the need to vocalise yourself and being able to be your vulnerable self. In order to build those really good friendships. That is something I've picked up in myself, I don't like being vulnerable or showing true self. Could a a fear of judgement thing
Making long term friends has always been a struggle for me. And like you pointed out, I would wear a mask sometimes in these friendships and I wouldn’t feel as happy as I should and then it would make me shameful when I’d want to be myself.
I’ve learned to enjoy being by myself but now I’ve learned to be my more genuine self with people I would see as wanting to be good friends with. Life’s too short to worry if 1 of 7 billion people won’t become a long term friend!
Anyway thank you for being my virtual therapist (will get a irl one soon ofc lol)
I'm super fearful avoidant because I always wait for the person to leave. But my therapist told me to allow people to surprise you
This is exactly what I needed to hear pretty much everything you said was so me. I’ve realized that I’ve just been so afraid of the steps that it takes to have long term friendships that I’ve let good friends pass me by. It can be scary but it’s definitely necessary sending you lots of love 🤍
I always get overwhelmed and burst into tears when I think about myself- I distance myself from people who show me love before things get serious and for them to think that we're close. I really have no idea but as said in this video I'm scared or not good with the long term friendships. Finding flaws in people is the secondary for me but I always tend to match the people's energy to feel included but internally I'd be crying to be left alone. It feels like shit when you don't know how you feel. Thank you so much for the video It was so relatable and yet comforting to know that there are people like me who feels the same. Listening to you will always be a therapy love youuu❤
I don't want to trauma dump, but lately ive been called annoying 4 being an extrovert, so, ive been keeping to myself and to see this video pop up just made me feel supported and related too.
Tysm Via!
Badly Wanting to be independent when facing bad circumstances is so true we see depending as weakness but "Having friends is not a sign of weakness, having friends is great ❤"
I just realized, not to say that this particular video was the catalyst, that i like her videos so much because she puts her own subtitles in like every video which is really nice.
i feel like i’ve tried so hard over the years to make friends and tried to fit in sooo much but it’s made me insecure that i haven’t been able to make friends and over time ive sort of lost myself i hid my interests and hobbies and now i just feel like a shell of a person.
I find the point about "trying to communicate and putting yourself out there, no matter what" really important. I'm a really young boy, not even out of teenagehood yet, so the expectations for me are that I make a titanic amount of friends and go out every weekend, start dating etc...
Now, I struggle a lot with self-loathing, loneliness and anxiety derived from them, so when I tried to follow such expectations and become friends with a bunch of people which seemed cool, and it didn't work out, despite therapy and all the improvements I'd made up to that point... It hurt. I felt ashamed. Disgusted, even. I started thinking I *deserved* to be lonely, because all my attempts failed, so there must have been something fundamentally wrong with me, something about socializing I just did not get, about my personality, my hobbies, or whatever.
All that mattered, to my mind, was telling me that... I was NOT okay as a person. I loathed myself so much that at one point I started thinking I was trans just because... I wanted to be another person. With another name. Another personality. But that person, even if she existed and were a girl instead of a boy... Would have been me. Me and nobody else.
So, the point I'm trying to make with this way too long comment is that yes, you might fail and yes, you will feel ashamed. But remember: shame is TEMPORARY. It won't last forever. And the part about "being fundamentally wrong as a person?" BULLSHIT. That is a lie. A faulty coping mechanism. Almost escapism, if you want to see it like that. So acknowledge and accept your feelings, but don't give into them. Embrace them, accept them as part of you without disregarding them, but don't follow the impulses they cause. That will bring you down a path at the end of which you become your own worst enemy, and I.... would not wish that on my worst enemy.
P.S. Thanks a lot, Via. If I was able to come to this realization it is partly thanks to you and your videos. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
I’m sorry if this doesn’t add anything to the conversation, but that was beautifully written. Thank you for letting us see your thoughts.
@@Cynical-kl3wy Thanks to you❤
I just wish that anyone with similar issues has an easier time dealing with them than I did, that is all
Recently went through a friendship breakup. I have communicated three times about my concerns to the point I got tired cause I wasn't met halfway. I agree that communication is key but at some point, it's gonna deteriorate you slowly especially when the other person constantly doesn't see eye to eye and ends up making you feel like you didn't communicate well enough :(
Crazy how i had yet another breakdown over not having friends but also not wanting to express how lonely i am yesterday and now i see this video
i enjoy your videos sm they comfort me, i used to always care about having freinds and get anxious when i realise i dont find true friends, but i realise you cant force a friendship, and force it to last long, because some people just cannot connect in a way? based on my experience. anyways you make me feel that its okay to be by yourself sometimes and friends are great but its okay to not have many of them
as good as it is to be able to make peace with being on your own, we are social animals so it is important to make friends or connections of some kind (they dont have to be really close friendships, it is hard to make friends!) this is something i struggled with a lot early in adulthood.
Via's videos keep telling me that i can be okay on my own and you've helped me soooo much in loving myself Via! *sending the best hugs* ❤
Your channel is literally so relevant to my life. I found it hard to find true friends and people who really care about me. I’m usually alone most of the time, people are only there for me when they need something. When I got slightly older, I found a real and true best friend that accepts me for me and stands up for me and helps me to be a better version of myself.
I lost a group of friends because they were being really agressive towards me and I never have like close friends so I tried my best to communicate but a friendship is always 2 sided, if you try your best to fix the relationship and they dont care then its over, you did your best to fix, but its 2 sided, if they dont care then its not gonna work. I love you videos Via! keep going strong! you are like a friend I can listen to while doing things
not even kidding i’m incredibly grateful for these videos. it really changed my perspective on things because i used to be like you
sis this video healed me so much this defended me to not to have a bad friendship i was just begging that one girl to stay with me but now i am healed and i now i just will do friendship with those who are loyal w me tysm!!❤
It so weird to listen to you sometimes because you are the thoughts that I keep for myself. I see myself in you 🥺
For me honestly, it's kind of the opposite : I crave longterm friendships, and so I tend to over share and try to get close to someone I feel great with (even if i just met them a few weeks ago) because to get close to someone you have to open up. But I open up to easily, and at the end those people do not do the same towards me, so I just find myself oversharing personal information with people that don't deserve it (and I can't have a longterm frendship).
Maybe there is a proper timing to open up that I can't seem to catch.
And I really try and give my best but I feel like I'm the only one giving at some point and I'm not receiving anything.
And the worst is that I'm good at getting new friends, but it's not longterm friendships, it'll just last a few years, and I'll replace them again with those new shorttem frienships.
It’s very difficult when you think you’re close with people but then you realize that you’re the odd one out
Having friends can be a benefit, but often you feel too surrounded, so you often have too much of an overdose of friendship. You're right: you need to have a friend who knows how to respect your boundaries. Thanks for talking about it. We love you vivi.
i usually am not one to comment on videos, but i came back to this one today as a reminder to keep trying! i like how you mention to reflect on the standards you have for yourself and friends i think i had a childhood where friends kept coming and going because i was either avoidant to communicate or wanting to walk away cuz they were too different from me … thank you for making me want to try and have hope again
thank you so much for sharing this with us and discussing this kind of sensitive topic. i think that a lot of teenagers these days, tgink that having friends is important in their life but in my openion, havibg is just a bonus and it'ssucha wonderful thing but also enjoying our own time, itcan be so joyful and make us know our selves better so thank you so much for sharing this and i love your aesthetic and the energy you give. 💗💗
Having no friends used to be the best thing in my life years ago..bc I was and im still a weirdo..and also i work better by myself. I can focus and show my flaws to my own self and i can accept it from me bc i love me. But sometimes i feel emptiness in my inside like i need someone to hug me or to tell me it's gonna be okay and that they're here for me but i know damn well i can't do that. I can't show my weak self to anyone no matter how close he/she is to me. Im afraid they won't accept me like that. That's why im convincing my self that im gonna be okay with my own company
I AM SO GLAD I FOUND YOUR CHANNEL ILYSM 💗
I’d rather have no friend than have “friends” who don’t respect me or would only take advantage of me
Same because they aren’t even friends
this video was exactly what i needed rn. I also have a problem with avoiding and having a fear of opening up so this helped me a lot thank you 🙏
one of the reason i kept myself from making friends is the "well it isn't going to last forever" mindset which is soooo sad tbh. not every friendship will last but that doesn't mean it's not a valuable mindset
"Your friends are not a clone of you" lol! girl I needed that. So true. I do try to ignore certain things about people because yes no one is perfect including me. But I'm very good at studying people so I just know what I can and cannot say or share with certain people. This is why it can be a bit exhausting when you cannot be yourself around certain people :( like you said it feel likes acting. Another great video glad I am not alone with similar experiences.
shes just like a really warm hug when things dont feel right
Via you’re actually such a hidden gem omgg. Your channel has helped me sm u don’t even know and it’s just so comforting
I graduated high school over a year ago and I have NO friends. I have no idea what to do with my life and so scared I'm going to waste my youth. Its lonely. Everyone I use to be friends with are gone because I wanted independency so bad.
Hey Via, you really made me feel heard and I’m really grateful for your journal entries. I love your confidence and you give such good advice ❤
I know there are people like me and who will like me. Except I can only ever find them online, never in person, and it sucks.
But this video has reminded me how much I need to keep trying.
girl via u have me in TEARS u literally opened my eyes this is like literally what I needed. when u first said how your therapist said how u might be scared of long term relationships I was like "hmmm not me". well after watching the video... its true I am very much so scared. when u said how flaws arent bad, and how none of these things are a weakness I subconsciously do actually think they actually are. got at lot to work on here. thank you so much for making this video via!! much love mwah mwah mwah
Man I love you so much. This is the exact topic I’ve been struggling about since a few days. My scl just started and I started talking to new people in my class and she actually mentioned something really briefly that she thinks I overshare sometimes and perphaps I should really try to be happy with myself. Watching this video made me realise I overshare because that’s my subconscious attempt of protecting myself against ppl. I overshare and if anyone reacts badly, my brain signals me to cut them off. Obviously this only leads to people taking advantage of my vulnerable side.
I relate so hard to be scared of ruining a friendship. I m scared that me struggling with depression and mental health issues will ruin stuff. I hate people seeing me with flaws like that. But as you said, if they’re my real friends, they’ll love me with all my flaws. You’re right, I also never give my true 100% with my personality because I m always in a defensive mode with new people. Tysm via, you don’t know how much I relate to your videos and found comfort in it as a struggling 15 year old. Things are slightly better now as a 16 year old, but I really love these videos of yours.
I need to thank you for posting. I was in a bad place when I came upon your channel and I have never stop watching since then. Your message always touches my heart. I’m really grateful for your videos and for you to share your experiences with us. Thank you ❤❤
I'm in a very lonely place right now. My friend unfriended me so I feel alone, sad at school. I feel really scared and anxious about going to school and seeing that person. This video is somewhat calming me down. Thank you so much ☺️..
I feel like I'm being called out. I know I needed to hear this, specially right now. Her words are like a slap in my face and I kinda deserve that.
So glad someone like u is growing a huge platform 🥲 we need more ppl like u on social media. I actually look forward to every video of urs no matter what its abt bc its usually smth i related to before, now, or will help me in the future !! 💜
@itsViaLi stop impersonating her, dont scam ppl ur horrible for that
im watching this at 1am while struggling to get my hair out of its rat nest and drinking pepsi. this video was so oddly comforting and i'm so grateful you're making videos like these, i find a lot of your content genuinely very motivational and helpful and it's been getting me to do more stuff that i try to avoid lately like cleaning my room, basic 'taking care if myself' things, etc. and i really just wanna say i admire the way you put things into words and i'm so thankful you're making such cool content, you make it feel like i'm actually being listened to and talked to by a close friend, love you via !!! 🤍
I've been a subscriber for a while now and I mainly like your solo trips. However, once I started tuning into your other videos like this one, it made me realize many things. The inner thoughts I had hidden away for my facade to the world came out when I watched this. It hurts and at the same time feels like a burst of fresh air to finally hear someone say the words out loud and to say it's okay and it's hard to be vulnerable. It makes me feel not alone and with your advice and actions to do to gain friends, I feel like I have a better grasp on how to do that. Thank you Via and thank you for telling your thoughts and for helping those who are stuck in this corner.
Lately I have been feeling like I’m growing further and further apart from my high school friends, I still think it’s okay to go out together, but I think our lives are going to go different ways
This video was more than helpful. I sincerely didn’t know that someone could feel or think the same way as I do. To be honest, I didn’t know what I was feeling. I’m the type of person who holds grudges against people for a very long time and loves to be alone. I wonder how life could’ve been if I had communicated but also it does serve as a lesson. Thank you so much for sharing your experience.
And now I’m crying 🥲
Yay I’m happy via posted
I used to have 0 friends the few years ago and that really made me so sad but these two years I’ve had many new friends at first I was so happy cause like I have more than 10+ but actually now I’m starting to feel like it’s the same without them i go through my depression sessions alone nobody cares or asks while I’m here giving them all my love and support but like they will never text me if I don’t text first .they are nice people they’re the best I see the way they talk to their friends and comfort them while they don’t even bother to ask about me so yeah they’re good people but just not for me lol it hurts
You are saving my life girl😭💅✨ you're an angel🧚♀️🎀
Bruh, girl you are literally me
shes all of us
@@cherrysws_ that’s why we are here
My problem is that I still think as you used to. I´ve been without friends for a long time, and sometimes I miss having someone to have fun with. Now I´m having a new person in my life, a potential friend, but I´m scared. I´m scared that I hurt her or make her angry (also being avoidant one here), and I feel so awkward just sending messages. It is hard to describe, feels like an invisible wall I´m dealing with. Past years I´ve had certain problem with people, and now I lack confidence in ..relying people. Like, I´m waiting "when the shit happens again". I just feel like I´m a walking disaster. But.. I will try. To see where this path leads, with small steps. Thank you for your video, gives me something to think while trying to live thro my problem :)
Bro the universe literally gave me the recommendation of this particular video as a guidance.
Im currently in my no friends era
Just graduated college. Tbh it feels good because im introverted but at the same time seeing my classmates often hanging out breaks my heart. Makes me feel some type of way like unloved .
But when im around people my social anxiety acts up
Its just that i was always the left out one in every friend group.
Currently in my journey of solitude.
Love your videos❤
I recently discovered your channel, and your videos are so comforting and relatable! Currently studying outside of my home country, and sometimes I feel alone in this world and get depressed easily. Just wanted to say these videos help me so much, thank you Via💗
thank you for being so raw. that's the only way ppl should be, imo. so, thanks, Via. it's good to find that on yt.
via is literally so me coded💞🎀
i literally NEEDED this video rn, all the things u said were like a slap in the face and it’s made me realize so many things abt myself and my flaws in friendships. i love via sm😭
Makes me feel understood. Makes me understand myself better. Makes me want to work on it. Makes me want to get better. Thanks to you. Thanks to me. ❤
Literally everything u just said is so relatable, i feel like u said everything I've been feeling 💗💗💗
The timing of this is perfect. I still don’t have any friends, but I’m in the process of trying to trust and open up to my family as of right now. They want to help me out of this deep dark hole that I’ve been in for years, but I’m afraid they’re going to see me struggle and start giving me tough love. Here’s to hoping it’s smooth sailings from here on out 🌊✨
I like how you said you are scared of long term relationships/ but still crave long term relationships. The things that you fear are just things that you care about in life. ❤
I'm a 62 year old woman - American, but now living (retired) overseas. I think it's wonderful that you are really working at your therapy and making breakthroughs and now having friends. I finally have more friends as well, here, in my new country. Friends are really the spice of life - well, friends and dogs and cats! 🙌🏽 ❤ I really enjoy your videos. Keep up the great work. 🙌🏽
I acknowledge all flaws in my friends ,be it 'active' or 'passive' flaws, but they seem not to acknowledge mine. It felt unfair because I always have to be the bigger person or to be the 'interesting' one, whereas they just live as they are.
RELATABLE. Thanks for this video ! I really needed this… You’re a beautiful person ❤️❤️
i relate to this video sm. i had a friend group which i felt unwanted when i was with them and i couldn’t get myself to talk to them because some of them always dismissed my feelings. i believe that i can speak my thoughts and feelings very well if the other person is also willing to listen and on the same page as me. knowing this i think most of the people in the friend group don’t have secure attachment and are not mature enough to make a genuine constructive conversation. that’s why i left the group chats without even saying anything. maybe that wasn’t right either but i don’t want to explain myself to someone who just tries to make themselves look better every time and just tells me i overreact. then last year when i saw your other video i was having issues with the same friend group. i’m glad it is over now and i can move forward.
It’s crazy how amazing these videos are and we don’t even have to pay for them.
You know what via when iam alone with no freinds at school you were the one that got me through this and i didn't feel lonely bc of your videos about this topic im so grateful for you
stop this literally made me tear you. i love you so so much and i promise you’ll find amazing friends in the future!
I really love you so much i always listen to your video right bf going to school to remind myself that im not alone and via said its okay and i trust you so much so i believe its okay till now im so so grateful for you ❤@via.ilyouu
listening to the music Via puts in her vlog vids whilst travelling to a place you have never been to before is so comforting. Never forget Via you have helped so many little souls ...including mine♥
Tysm Via genuinely this video could not have come at a better time, your advice and journal entries are helping so many people even if you don't realize it
i just love your energy your journey with therapy evolves day by day i think that having no friends can help you have a break of people of their toxicness i don't mean that there aren't good people out their as you said but the problem is when you are soo nice and kind to people they turn out to be back stabbers and i don't reallly want that to happen and i couldn't find that one friend who understands my flaws and whom i feel comfortable with but thank you for your pieces of advice and your soothing videos it really helps to continue by journey to accept my flaws and other peoples
yesterday i had a panic attack because how lonely i felt. I've been struggling with the idea of communicate how i feel to other people bc i feel its just like extra info and no one cares but this friend talked with me about I don´t consider anyone like good friends bc I just simply asume they are going to leave or won't like me.
Im not sure how to explain this bc I'm not a native eng speaker but thanks, This video made me realize that I'm just getting far from them bc i don't even give the opportunity to show my true self or consider that the other ones flaws are not that bad it may be wonderful to accept them. It's not easy but I'm still trying to comprehend my feelings
Via is genuinely such an empathetic person, I adore your videos and they've helped better my mindset so so much !!! They help me realize that being different **isn't** a bad thing and they help me love myself more than I realized
Oh my god it's like you are talking about how i feel and think
I feel called out aggressive...
It’s when you see others have companionship and you cry in a masochistic cycle
To be fearful avoidant is just 🤯😭 thx for all the tipps
i feel like via would be the perfect friend for me 😭
I know we don't know each other personally, Via, but I cannot express how much I appreciate you as a person. The amount of empathy, compassion, dedication, and emotional labor you invest in each one of your videos is nothing short of incredible. I hope you have someone in your life who cares as deeply for you as you care for us. I wish you all love and peace. ♥️
Hey Via, I've been watching your content for quite a white. I like your editing style and choice of content produced. To share your life and events with someone is precious and meaningful. Especially when others can relate and see themselves in the same train of thoughts/mental state. I think I may have watched/listened to this video at least over 10 times by now. The biggest part that I relate to is being self-reflective, self-consciousness, or self-aware which leads to overthinking and analyzing yourself.
I wish, want, would like to be friends with someone like you. The whole bit on finding the right friends, having a supportive circle, and having real/close friends that you can depend on and be there for you, stood out for me. I feel that because of my environment and how the people are, I never truly had "real" friends or close friends. The friends that I do have is mostly just surface level stuff and nothing deep. There are many other points that I relate to, hits home, and feels nearly the exact same. The part about showing flaws to people for me is that I feel that whenever I do show flaws to others, they just don't care at all. When you said that your trait was that you reciprocate well, for me it's pretty similar and I feel that I wish I had another person on the same level as me. There's many other things that I feel are similar to the things you say but for me there's more complexity/additional things.
Also, is it ok if I use bits of your video and other content for reference for a video I'm working on to be released in the future?
I recently realized that I don't even know how to be myself around other people. Like when I'm alone I'm very comfortable & confident in who I am. I feel like I know who I am as a person. But when I'm with others I suddenly don't know how to be myself if that makes sense. It's almost like I just become a blank slate & I only react to what they do, but never really act/take initiative myself. Does anyone else feel this way? Or do any of you have tipps on how to avoid this??