Learn to love yourself. Stop taking care of grown siblings. If they are over 18, they can handle their own affairs. Your husband stopped loving you because he sees that your family only take from you and him. Your family never helped you or your husband. You have to understand from your husband's point of view too. I know sometimes we feel like we have to take care of our siblings because our parents ain't crap. You have to understand it's not your responsibility. You can help to a certain point only. Once you are married, your husband and kids comes before your biological family or his.
Yog kawg! I let my younger brother and sister lived under my roof and pay no rent while in college, I even fed them, and gave them money for gas…guess what? They could careless about me now and has no respect for me. But, I am blessed my supporting husband still standing by my side.
Generational trauma. You are continuing it by not setting boundaries with your family. It’s not your responsibility to take care of your siblings. You can help with what you can, but don’t give up your own family and marriage. Sometimes you need to be selfish for your own self preservation. It doesn’t make you a bad daughter or sibling.
I detest excuse story like this. Everyone need to make yourself very independent. Take responsibility for yourself. If I was the mother, I kick my lazy cheating husband out of my kids and my life. I will suck it up and be the mother and father for my kids because I bring them to life. I will not be afraid of his threats. The sons / brothers you need to make your own money to marry or don’t marry. This woman. I will not be responsible for my bothers marriage cost, my dad’s debts, all my siblings. I will never let my father come back to destroy my life. It is your weak thinking to take care what is not your responsibility for your husband to walk out of your life. I am not sorry for you. It is not hmoov phem. You need to learn to say no because you are not superhuman. You are responsible for yourself.
Should have cut all ties with your dad and told your brothers to save up if they want to get married. It’s not your responsibility to tsa lawv lub neej! I can see why your husband was not happy. All this heartache could have been avoided if you just stand up for yourself and only do what you could. When you let others step over you, you have no one to blame but yourself.
Yeah, she’s dumb for that. If her brothers can’t afford to get married, they shouldn’t be thinking about marriage. Marriage is a luxury, not a requirement.
The whole time I was thinking from the husband's perspective. Imagine if he gave his all to his side of the family and can careless about her side of the family, I'm sure she would do the same. You can only push that button for too long. When you ignore the needs and cries from your husband, he can only endure much. Sounds like he has moved on, it's time you should do the same.
Your weakness is that you have a good heart. Your dad sees that through you and he is taking advantage of you. Learn how to say NO, enough is enough! Cut tie with people who drains your energy causing you to stress even if that means family.
Grew up as the oldest daughter in a loosely similar situation. The difference is that my husband loved and supported me the whole way. He knew what my situation was growing up and loved me enough to support me. I am sure there are many daughters in our shoes. Your husband doesn't love you. He used that as an excuse to cheat. Love yourself and find someone who actually really loves you and supports you no matter the situation. Send your dad to your brother. It is not your responsibility. Praying for the best.
What! Her family 😢. God will bless u for all that u done for ur family. It will not be from them but god will let other help u the same in return of what u give. ❤ sent u love sister
I'm pretty sure your husband only uses excuses to cheat on you. If he is a good and not a greedy guy who only wants you to love his family, he would not cheat on you. Don't feel bad picture if you were the younger one and had no one to help you, you would have felt bad too.
It's not ok now. But it will be ok later. The universe has a way to pay back debt. When you've done all the good you can, you are setting yourself up for happiness
Sister, what I've learned in life is that if you allow people to step all over you, YOU WILL GET STEPPED ON! You are too nice! In other words, DON"T BE DUMB! I also had to learn it the hard way but learn how to say NO! You can help out your siblings but it's not your responsibility to cover everything. They need to learn that they can not get married unless they are financially stable. As far as your father, what happened to all of your other siblings? How come he can not go live with them? And for your husband, he used all of your problems as an excuse to cheat. Learn how to put yourself first. Forget about the rest of the people around you and just help out when you can. Good luck to you.
You are an educated woman. You don’t need a man who doesn’t love you anymore to survive or live. You don’t have to remarry to be happy. Now that your children are all grown, he is done with you! Practice what you preach and love yourself!
Sister, I understand your husband’s frustration with your family but that is just his lousy excuse to cheat. You need to love yourself because you only have yourself to rely on. You are right about one thing, your situation is worse than your mother’s. You enabled your husband, father, and siblings to use you. If you want to be happy, you need to cut them out of your life. When you love others more than you love yourself, you only screwed yourself over. That’s on YOU!
The problem why you're in that situation is because you choose to, no one is holding a gun to your head and force you out of your well. Life is short, you're going to live that way for forever.
I completely agree. She isn’t even trying to help herself. She just stuck on feeling sorry for herself. She is carrying on with her moms bad luck and teaching her children to follow the same bad path.
@@lalymoua5386 these kind of hmong women's are not as innocent as they claim to be, they are the 1975 people who are stuck in the lifestyles they are in, they just needed to come on here to make people feel sorry for them, but if we were to meet them in person, their true identity will show
If they truly loved you they wouldn't put that kind of burden to you n your life. All your family, siblings have no manner, no respect PERIOD!!!! Kick your dad out, he can go stay with the sons.
Sister, I’m sorry for what you’ve gone through. We Hmong women need to think with our heads, not with our hearts. It’s not your responsibility to take care of your siblings and your father financially. You’ve gone above and beyond. I understand why your husband was mad at you. Moving forward, love yourself and take care of yourself so you don’t end up like your mother. With the stressors you put yourself through, you are at increase risk of having a stroke. Who will take care of you? Not your husband, your siblings. Nor your father! Stop putting everyone before you. Don’t allow yourself to be manipulated by your father. He was never a father to you so don’t let him guilt trip you.
At the end of the day, there's no award for bring the perfect wife, daughter, or sibling. You need to do what's best for you and your immediate family.
I agree tus neeg siab zoo ces yog ruam thiab tus swb xwb. Niam Laus nrog koj tu siab mog. Cia siab tias ib hnub koj yuav tau txais koob hmoov zoo yav tom ntej ❤
Tu siab tshaj os sister! Tus txiv zoo ces yeej hlub thiab txhawb yus os. Nws tsis hlub yus es nws thiaj li muab tej ntawd los ua excuse xwb. Thov vajtswv tsom kwm thiab hloov los hlub koj tus kheej os.
It’s not that you have poor siblings and need to constantly help them that drove your husband away. It’s the fact that you enabled your siblings and dad to be helpless so that they constantly depended on you….and that drove your husband away. At some point, you need to learn to say No. I understand you had to help the first few siblings get married….but why couldn’t the ones you helped also help you with the younger ones? Also, you love your dad to welcome him in your home…but when you know he is one of the trigger driving your husband away, why didn’t you ask your brothers to help take your dad in? You are a very strong woman, but I think you like to also feel needed that’s why you created your life to be the way it is. Sending you love and prayers to know how to love yourself before it’s too late.
Sorry to hear how your siblings repay you back. I once was like you to. Being nice doesn’t get you anywhere but allowing people to take advantage of you. We have to learn to love ourselves before others.
True 💯💯💯 gotta cover your own ass before anyone. When you die no one will die with you. Be nice and courteous at the appropriate time. You don't have to give it your all, just do what fit for other people.
Koj txiv cov kwv tij, tsis muaj txoj cai los hais kom koj tsa yim rau koj cov nus. Koj cov txiv ntxawm yog cov yuav tau los tsa cuab tsa yim rau koj cov nus. It's optional, if your husband says ok for you to do so.
What a stressful story to listen to. Kuv mloog mas txhua yam meem txom heev. Tab sis txhua yam koj twb hais yog lawm os tus me niam tsev, kev zoo yog koj tsis txawj ua ces yuav yog koj ua mob rau koj tus kheej xwb. Tsis nkag siab tias vim li cas koj txiv tseem muaj cov tub tsim nyog yuav mus nrog cov tub nyab nyob. Cov yau tsim nyog lawv hlub koj tab sis peb ua tib neeg nyob nco ntsoov tias txawm niam txiv ib plab yug los tsis txhais tias txhua tus lub siab yuav zoo ib yam. Cia zaj no ua kev kawm rau sawv daws. Yog yus xav ua neeg siab zoo los zoo tab sis txhob ua tus neeg ruam siab zoo.
Sister love yourself and know that you don't need someone who doesn’t love you and respect you. Bless your heart for being so loving towards your siblings and your loser father. I'd say take your father out of your life, he was never a father to you. Now he's just using you. You are not obligated to take care of your alcoholic father. So sad that your siblings dont care about you as much as you've sacrificed for them. God bless you sister
You don’t have to do everything for adults who needs to learn the hard way. Let them be accountable and responsible. You can’t and do not need to be everything to everyone. You can be kind and assertive. You can be an adult but not a pushover. Their issues are not your issues. Help when you can but if you don’t have it, don’t go into debt for them.
I’m sorry sister, you didn’t break the generational cycle of trauma. You didn’t set boundaries, you let your emotions run you over instead you controlling your emotions. You have to understand that you can love your siblings to a certain extent but they’re not your responsibility. It’s different being single and helping your family out but once your married your obligations is to your spouse and own family. You didn’t separate that identity, you spread yourself so thin and so often that your husband is fed up. Your educated however you lack direction, identity and most important self love. Put yourself in your husband’s shoe, I’m sure you won’t be as tolerant. Now you think your siblings have a sense of obligation to you since you help them out so much but they have more sense and direction of where their life is going. You should’ve never opened your home to your deadbeat dad, even if your husband has no choice to say but yes. You should’ve put your foot down. Your father still has uncles and your grandparents, let him live with them. You knew what kind of person your father is and yet you allowed him to enter your home and make you miserable. Koj hais tsis yog lawm, ua neeg zoo yeej yog qhov zoo dua but set boundaries my dear. You have to set boundaries, you are where you are today because you didn’t set boundaries. I’m truly sorry you’re going through this difficult time in your life but it’s time to have a backbone and stand up for yourself and kick your father back to his side of the family. If you don’t do it, it will cause you mental instability and lifetime of emotional abuse. Good luck!
Me niam hluas aw kuv lub neej ces yuav luag zoo li koj lub os Txhob tu siab mog tsis yog koj ib leeg xwb os tseem tshuav coob coob tus neeg txawv tsis deb li koj thiab os mog
Txoj me kev hlub kev pab no ces tsuas yog cov txiv neej thiaj li hlub tsi tau peb cov me niam tsev tej neej tej tsav xwb os. Kuv xav tias yog tig kiag es pab me nyuam kwv thiab muam no yog koj tus me txiv cov ces koj tseem yuav tau mus qiv mus txias los pab lawm ma loj tus txiv thiaj li zoo siab rau koj thiaj suav tau tias koj yog tus niam tsev zoo. Sim neej no es thov kom tiam tshiab no txawj hloov zuj zus es muaj kev pab kwv tij neej tsa sib txig sib luag.
Yog lawm, tus coj zoo yeej ib txwm yog tus swb tab si sab ntsuj plig thiab sab nqaij tawv muaj tus tiv thaiv ,tus coj phem yeej ib txwm yog tus yeej tab si ua neej pheej hmoo xwb yeej tsis kav ntev.
Sister of the story, did what you did, do what you do, and live like you live, it’s NOT called- Tus COJ ZOO. It’s call Tus poob zoo (lost), tus puas tsuaj (destructed), tus qaug qeb (weanie). Why? Because someone with your upbringing, hardship you experienced; the abuses you watched, the weanie mother you had, the nothing but toxic father you have. You didn’t even learn anything different. You live your life now even worst than then. No boundaries, no self respect, no self control. It’s not that koj coj zoo es koj swb. Koj Swb vim koj coj puas ntsoog coj qaug qeb, but want to be hero.
Tus niam tsev nrog koj tu siab rau koj lub neej kawg li ua ib tug neeg nyob qhov yus pheej hlub yus tsev neeg los vim yus yog ib tug neeg siab zoo2 xwb thiaj li ua rau yus muaj txoj kev tu siab txomnyem siab ua luaj muab xav los ua cas yuav tag kev cia siab ua luaj qhia rau koj tias koj twb tau koob hmoov ntau lawm vajtswv txoj lus yeej sam fwm tseg lawm twb yog vim koj txiv koj tus txiv thiaj tawm hauv koj lub neej mus lawm ces kom koj cov nus cov mus nrog lawv nyob los sis kom nws mus nrhiav tsev laus rau nws nyob yog koj tseem xav tau koj cov menyuam ces ua ib siab nrog koj cov me nyuam nyob ntseeg hais tias law yuav hlub koj ua ib siab txhob tos koj tus txiv txoj kev hlub lawm yog nws ho xav los xyuas nej cov niam tub nws kuj los nws ua ib siab tsis txhob khib lawm thaum koj nyuaj siab koj cia li thov vajtswv los nyob hauv koj lub siab los pab tshem tej kev nyuaj siab es koj thiaj liyuav tiv taus koj kuj ho mus nrog cov Ntseeg yesxus hauv koj lub zos pe hawm vajtswv thiab koj thiaj yuav ua taus siab ntev thov vajtswv pab kom koj ntsib kev noj qab nyob zoo os tus viv ncaus hmoob
I wonder if the mom left and was able to demonstrate strength, would the daughter tolerate so much abuse? Her whole family took advantage of her continuously.
You were left with the responsibility of being a parent to your siblings. You should of taught them discipline and responsibility to be able to help you and alleviate the load off your shoulders. So everyone can carry their own weight. Relatives will always lay the responsibility on you so they don’t have to pick up the mess. So do what you can only. But it’s too late now. Your whole life is a mess because you are too nice.
Tu sister aws, Txhob tu2 siab os. Zoo saib koj pab lawv es lawv tsis niaj hnub tuaj thov koj noj xwb ces zoo lawm mog. Take care of yourself. Make your dad go live with your brother
Nco ntsoov koj pab lawv koj thiaj zoosiab xwb lawv yog tus tau koj yam khoomplig lawv twb tsis zoo siab rau yus, lawv yuav tsis muab lawv txojsia rau koj li koj ua rau lawv no nawb mog. Kev ua zoo rau neeg ces ua li yus ua tau xwb, thiaj tsis txomnyem.
God bless your heart for being there for all your siblings and now your dad, but you are Not responsible for your all siblings and your dad. Nyob mes kas teb lawm yog leej twg xav ua neeg zoo los sis xav khwv ces yeej ua tau kawg vim teb chaws no zoo, zoo khwv nyiaj li. Yog lawv tsis xav ua ces txhob ua kom koj lub neej puas nawb mog! Kav tsij pab thiab hlub koj tus kheej thiab koj tsev neeg/koj tus txiv es tsam koj lub neej plam mog!
You learned your lesson already. Moving forward , I hope you learn to love yourself. You cannot undo the things in the past but you can create a better future for you. Your father is the problem, maybe start with taking out the problem first. Good luck . I hope you have the strength to do better.
Cas tus siab ua luaj thiab. Kuv Xav tias Kuv thiaj ruam es ua li lwm tus lub siab nyiam xwb no es ho tseem muaj koj hlub hlub lwm Cov neeg li Kuv thiab no. Kav Liam mas, yus ua zoo yeej yuav tau Ntuj ntoo xwb. Tsis yog tiam no los yeej yuav rov pab raum lwm tiam. Txhob tu tu siab thiab. Muab xa li xwb o😢
Learn to love yourself. Stop taking care of grown siblings. If they are over 18, they can handle their own affairs. Your husband stopped loving you because he sees that your family only take from you and him. Your family never helped you or your husband. You have to understand from your husband's point of view too. I know sometimes we feel like we have to take care of our siblings because our parents ain't crap. You have to understand it's not your responsibility. You can help to a certain point only. Once you are married, your husband and kids comes before your biological family or his.
Yog kawg! I let my younger brother and sister lived under my roof and pay no rent while in college, I even fed them, and gave them money for gas…guess what? They could careless about me now and has no respect for me. But, I am blessed my supporting husband still standing by my side.
You are a lucky lady and your husband is a rare kind.
Generational trauma. You are continuing it by not setting boundaries with your family. It’s not your responsibility to take care of your siblings. You can help with what you can, but don’t give up your own family and marriage. Sometimes you need to be selfish for your own self preservation. It doesn’t make you a bad daughter or sibling.
Agree, there’s got to be a limit. Mistake to give your all to your siblings. Marriage and family should be your priority over anyone else.
Agree. She’s too soft.
44:2
Do, JJ 0😢
I detest excuse story like this.
Everyone need to make yourself very independent. Take responsibility for yourself.
If I was the mother, I kick my lazy cheating husband out of my kids and my life. I will suck it up and be the mother and father for my kids because I bring them to life. I will not be afraid of his threats.
The sons / brothers you need to make your own money to marry or don’t marry.
This woman. I will not be responsible for my bothers marriage cost, my dad’s debts, all my siblings. I will never let my father come back to destroy my life.
It is your weak thinking to take care what is not your responsibility for your husband to walk out of your life. I am not sorry for you.
It is not hmoov phem. You need to learn to say no because you are not superhuman. You are responsible for yourself.
ใช่ค่ะ❤❤❤❤
Should have cut all ties with your dad and told your brothers to save up if they want to get married. It’s not your responsibility to tsa lawv lub neej! I can see why your husband was not happy. All this heartache could have been avoided if you just stand up for yourself and only do what you could. When you let others step over you, you have no one to blame but yourself.
Come step on me girl.
Yeah, she’s dumb for that. If her brothers can’t afford to get married, they shouldn’t be thinking about marriage. Marriage is a luxury, not a requirement.
The whole time I was thinking from the husband's perspective. Imagine if he gave his all to his side of the family and can careless about her side of the family, I'm sure she would do the same. You can only push that button for too long. When you ignore the needs and cries from your husband, he can only endure much. Sounds like he has moved on, it's time you should do the same.
Your weakness is that you have a good heart. Your dad sees that through you and he is taking advantage of you. Learn how to say NO, enough is enough! Cut tie with people who drains your energy causing you to stress even if that means family.
Cas pab koj nyuab siab Ua Luaj os me viv ncaus aw
My heart aches for you and with you! Sending you ((HUGS)) and praying for you to be strong.
Vim koj ruam dhau lawm thiaj tu koj siab peb tsis coj li koj os viv ncaus
May do you move to Oklahoma?…This picture proof 💯!!..Marijuana yog XAS
Everyone is taking advantage of you.. love yourself and know your self worth..
Thov vaj tswv foom koob hmoov rau kj nawb mog me niam laus aw vaj tswv hlub kj nb mog ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Nrog koj tus siab kawg os tus muam
It’s not too late to find love. Someone who will treat you right. Best of luck.
Love your self since your kids grow now do things for your self for gets your husband and your family
MI ntxhais ntxim hlub aw Cas yuav hlub koj ua luaj ! Tus neeg zoo lub ntuj mam hlub os mog
Koj tus txiv yeej hlub koj kawg Tim koj xwb koj musb hlub koj koj tsev neeg dhau lawm koj lub neej teb nyuaj npaum ko los koj yeej tsis zeem ces pab tsis tau. Us tsis hlub us yeej tsis muaj 1 tug neeg yuav hlub koj li koj txiv ces koj lub neej tsis zoo ces nws yeej tsis hlub koj thiab
Me ntxhais awd kuv los yeej raug ib yam li koj thiab os kav Liam lub Ntuj mam thiab txim os
Tus no yog kawm txawj xwb tsis ntse
Thiaj kawm tau degree los tseem zoo li no
Yg ma tu siab heeb li os
As lawv cas tej neej neeg no yuav raug kuv kawg li os
Ab yom o kj zaj neej neeg hais tau tu siab ua luaj.
Tus neeg zoo li koj txiv mas tuag zoo dua
Cas yuav pab hlub koj raug kev txom nyem ua luaj.
Choose your family and not your dad brothers sisters. Why have a headache
Tim koj ruam koj txoj kev ruam thiaj rov ua rau koj
Grew up as the oldest daughter in a loosely similar situation. The difference is that my husband loved and supported me the whole way. He knew what my situation was growing up and loved me enough to support me. I am sure there are many daughters in our shoes. Your husband doesn't love you. He used that as an excuse to cheat. Love yourself and find someone who actually really loves you and supports you no matter the situation. Send your dad to your brother. It is not your responsibility. Praying for the best.
Tus neeg hlub koj tiag luag yeej ua txhua yam kom koj kaj siab xwb
What! Her family 😢.
God will bless u for all that u done for ur family. It will not be from them but god will let other help u the same in return of what u give. ❤ sent u love sister
I'm pretty sure your husband only uses excuses to cheat on you. If he is a good and not a greedy guy who only wants you to love his family, he would not cheat on you. Don't feel bad picture if you were the younger one and had no one to help you, you would have felt bad too.
Ntuj aws pab koj mob kuv ces twb yuav zoo li koj ib nrab os
It's not ok now. But it will be ok later. The universe has a way to pay back debt. When you've done all the good you can, you are setting yourself up for happiness
Wow koj pab lawv tau zoo lawv ces lawv tsis care koj li lawm thiab. Yog kawg mas sister aw tus neeg siab zoo ces yog tus neeg npam xwb o.
Ca koj zaj dab neeg yuav phi kuv ua luaj os 😂😂😂😂😂
Nrauj koj tus txiv es los yuav kuv os. Kuv mam li hlub koj.
Sister, what I've learned in life is that if you allow people to step all over you, YOU WILL GET STEPPED ON! You are too nice! In other words, DON"T BE DUMB! I also had to learn it the hard way but learn how to say NO! You can help out your siblings but it's not your responsibility to cover everything. They need to learn that they can not get married unless they are financially stable. As far as your father, what happened to all of your other siblings? How come he can not go live with them? And for your husband, he used all of your problems as an excuse to cheat. Learn how to put yourself first. Forget about the rest of the people around you and just help out when you can. Good luck to you.
Do not regret for your love and good deeds. In time your reward will return it back to you. God bless.
Practice what you preach! You obviously didn’t have any love for yourself.
She only knows how to tell you to love yourself. She doesn’t know what that means.
Prayers for the best outcome for you. You deserve the best
You are an educated woman. You don’t need a man who doesn’t love you anymore to survive or live. You don’t have to remarry to be happy. Now that your children are all grown, he is done with you! Practice what you preach and love yourself!
Exactly!
Don't feel hurt, you kinda let all it happened to you and the bad things is,u let your father stay with you that cost your marriage.....
Kj cov nus ko g hlub kj xwb ntsuag rog xwb pab kj tu siab kawg
Sister, I understand your husband’s frustration with your family but that is just his lousy excuse to cheat. You need to love yourself because you only have yourself to rely on. You are right about one thing, your situation is worse than your mother’s. You enabled your husband, father, and siblings to use you. If you want to be happy, you need to cut them out of your life. When you love others more than you love yourself, you only screwed yourself over. That’s on YOU!
Look at all these shaman too embarrassed to claim their “Hmong txoj cai” religion in the commmwt section lol
Vuag xav tias kv dhuav tag siab xwb no os hlub kj thb os mog
Nws tsis yog tim qhov koj hlub koj tsev neeg os tim koj tus txiv lub siab lim hiam xwb mog
The problem why you're in that situation is because you choose to, no one is holding a gun to your head and force you out of your well. Life is short, you're going to live that way for forever.
I completely agree. She isn’t even trying to help herself. She just stuck on feeling sorry for herself. She is carrying on with her moms bad luck and teaching her children to follow the same bad path.
@@lalymoua5386 these kind of hmong women's are not as innocent as they claim to be, they are the 1975 people who are stuck in the lifestyles they are in, they just needed to come on here to make people feel sorry for them, but if we were to meet them in person, their true identity will show
If they truly loved you they wouldn't put that kind of burden to you n your life. All your family, siblings have no manner, no respect PERIOD!!!! Kick your dad out, he can go stay with the sons.
los ntseeg Yexus os Nws yuav pub kev thajyeeb rau koj lub siab os.
Sister, I’m sorry for what you’ve gone through. We Hmong women need to think with our heads, not with our hearts. It’s not your responsibility to take care of your siblings and your father financially. You’ve gone above and beyond. I understand why your husband was mad at you.
Moving forward, love yourself and take care of yourself so you don’t end up like your mother. With the stressors you put yourself through, you are at increase risk of having a stroke. Who will take care of you? Not your husband, your siblings. Nor your father! Stop putting everyone before you. Don’t allow yourself to be manipulated by your father. He was never a father to you so don’t let him guilt trip you.
Don’t even understand her why she allowed her father to come live with her the first place.
At the end of the day, there's no award for bring the perfect wife, daughter, or sibling. You need to do what's best for you and your immediate family.
I don't think this lady can't change or learn her lesson.
Koj ua neej rov qab twb zoo koj niag txiv tseem kam cia koj ua niam loj mas zoo kawg
I agree tus neeg siab zoo ces yog ruam thiab tus swb xwb. Niam Laus nrog koj tu siab mog. Cia siab tias ib hnub koj yuav tau txais koob hmoov zoo yav tom ntej ❤
Tu siab tshaj os sister! Tus txiv zoo ces yeej hlub thiab txhawb yus os. Nws tsis hlub yus es nws thiaj li muab tej ntawd los ua excuse xwb. Thov vajtswv tsom kwm thiab hloov los hlub koj tus kheej os.
Cov neeg siab phem yeej g paub hlub leejtwg, thiab tsuav nws tau kev zoo siab xwb os,
Eb ntshe yuav tau txhob hlub22 lawv lawm thiab es thiaj g nyuaj22 siab
Don’t take everything
Let some go
U will be happy
Some time u need to be selfish too
It’s not that you have poor siblings and need to constantly help them that drove your husband away. It’s the fact that you enabled your siblings and dad to be helpless so that they constantly depended on you….and that drove your husband away. At some point, you need to learn to say No. I understand you had to help the first few siblings get married….but why couldn’t the ones you helped also help you with the younger ones? Also, you love your dad to welcome him in your home…but when you know he is one of the trigger driving your husband away, why didn’t you ask your brothers to help take your dad in? You are a very strong woman, but I think you like to also feel needed that’s why you created your life to be the way it is. Sending you love and prayers to know how to love yourself before it’s too late.
Sorry to hear how your siblings repay you back. I once was like you to. Being nice doesn’t get you anywhere but allowing people to take advantage of you. We have to learn to love ourselves before others.
Kv mloog kj zaj neej neej no kv los2 kua muag vim kv yog ib tug ua hlub tej yau tab sis lawv tsi hlub kv thiab
True 💯💯💯 gotta cover your own ass before anyone. When you die no one will die with you. Be nice and courteous at the appropriate time. You don't have to give it your all, just do what fit for other people.
Koj txiv cov kwv tij, tsis muaj txoj cai los hais kom koj tsa yim rau koj cov nus. Koj cov txiv ntxawm yog cov yuav tau los tsa cuab tsa yim rau koj cov nus. It's optional, if your husband says ok for you to do so.
What a stressful story to listen to. Kuv mloog mas txhua yam meem txom heev. Tab sis txhua yam koj twb hais yog lawm os tus me niam tsev, kev zoo yog koj tsis txawj ua ces yuav yog koj ua mob rau koj tus kheej xwb. Tsis nkag siab tias vim li cas koj txiv tseem muaj cov tub tsim nyog yuav mus nrog cov tub nyab nyob. Cov yau tsim nyog lawv hlub koj tab sis peb ua tib neeg nyob nco ntsoov tias txawm niam txiv ib plab yug los tsis txhais tias txhua tus lub siab yuav zoo ib yam. Cia zaj no ua kev kawm rau sawv daws. Yog yus xav ua neeg siab zoo los zoo tab sis txhob ua tus neeg ruam siab zoo.
Tu me vi ncau aw koj zaj nim zoo kiag li kuv zaj li os kuv ce tu siab npaum koj lo tseem tshaj koj thiab os kuv nkag siab zoo txoj kev no
txiv tsis muaj cai los nrog ntxhais nyob
Mloog cov neeg npwb lub neej ntau ces nej cov mloog mloog ntau ces yuav awb nrog thiab
Sister love yourself and know that you don't need someone who doesn’t love you and respect you. Bless your heart for being so loving towards your siblings and your loser father. I'd say take your father out of your life, he was never a father to you. Now he's just using you. You are not obligated to take care of your alcoholic father. So sad that your siblings dont care about you as much as you've sacrificed for them. God bless you sister
Koj siab zoo dhau thiab hos hlub cov neeg lawv twb hlub koj rov qab heev li thiab.. cov txiv neej hmoob tsis kam txo fwj chim tsis kam lees nws txoj kev txhaum mas ntxim ntxhub dhau os cov no ces kawg av lim xwb! Kom koj txiv mus nrog koj cov nus lawv nyob mas..
You don’t have to do everything for adults who needs to learn the hard way. Let them be accountable and responsible. You can’t and do not need to be everything to everyone. You can be kind and assertive. You can be an adult but not a pushover. Their issues are not your issues. Help when you can but if you don’t have it, don’t go into debt for them.
tim koj xwb os
I’m sorry sister, you didn’t break the generational cycle of trauma. You didn’t set boundaries, you let your emotions run you over instead you controlling your emotions. You have to understand that you can love your siblings to a certain extent but they’re not your responsibility. It’s different being single and helping your family out but once your married your obligations is to your spouse and own family. You didn’t separate that identity, you spread yourself so thin and so often that your husband is fed up. Your educated however you lack direction, identity and most important self love. Put yourself in your husband’s shoe, I’m sure you won’t be as tolerant. Now you think your siblings have a sense of obligation to you since you help them out so much but they have more sense and direction of where their life is going. You should’ve never opened your home to your deadbeat dad, even if your husband has no choice to say but yes. You should’ve put your foot down. Your father still has uncles and your grandparents, let him live with them. You knew what kind of person your father is and yet you allowed him to enter your home and make you miserable. Koj hais tsis yog lawm, ua neeg zoo yeej yog qhov zoo dua but set boundaries my dear. You have to set boundaries, you are where you are today because you didn’t set boundaries. I’m truly sorry you’re going through this difficult time in your life but it’s time to have a backbone and stand up for yourself and kick your father back to his side of the family. If you don’t do it, it will cause you mental instability and lifetime of emotional abuse. Good luck!
Agreed 💯! Plus she will continue to live a bitter life.
Kom koj txiv mus nrog koj cov nws nyob mas.
Yog tim koj qhov rov yuav koj txiv. Yus txawm hlub nws npaum cas los, Nws muaj niam muaj txiv thiab kwv tij. Tsis yog koj lub luag yug nws.
Me niam hluas aw kuv lub neej ces yuav luag zoo li koj lub os Txhob tu siab mog tsis yog koj ib leeg xwb os tseem tshuav coob coob tus neeg txawv tsis deb li koj thiab os mog
Ib leej txiv Liam Liam es koj pheej yuav txais los khuam kev ua kev lwj siab rau yus ncaws tawm tsis khaum li nawb
Txoj me kev hlub kev pab no ces tsuas yog cov txiv neej thiaj li hlub tsi tau peb cov me niam tsev tej neej tej tsav xwb os. Kuv xav tias yog tig kiag es pab me nyuam kwv thiab muam no yog koj tus me txiv cov ces koj tseem yuav tau mus qiv mus txias los pab lawm ma loj tus txiv thiaj li zoo siab rau koj thiaj suav tau tias koj yog tus niam tsev zoo. Sim neej no es thov kom tiam tshiab no txawj hloov zuj zus es muaj kev pab kwv tij neej tsa sib txig sib luag.
Yog lawm, tus coj zoo yeej ib txwm yog tus swb tab si sab ntsuj plig thiab sab nqaij tawv muaj tus tiv thaiv ,tus coj phem yeej ib txwm yog tus yeej tab si ua neej pheej hmoo xwb yeej tsis kav ntev.
Coj zoo tsis seb os lawv. Coj ruam thiab coj khav thiaj xwb.
😢😢😢😢😢😢kv yog ib tug ua hlub cov yaus es kv mob siab thiab os kv twb gi muaj neej lo vim kv hlub cov yaus tsaj kv lawm os kv 😢😢😢😢😢
Sister of the story, did what you did, do what you do, and live like you live, it’s NOT called- Tus COJ ZOO. It’s call Tus poob zoo (lost), tus puas tsuaj (destructed), tus qaug qeb (weanie). Why? Because someone with your upbringing, hardship you experienced; the abuses you watched, the weanie mother you had, the nothing but toxic father you have. You didn’t even learn anything different. You live your life now even worst than then. No boundaries, no self respect, no self control. It’s not that koj coj zoo es koj swb. Koj Swb vim koj coj puas ntsoog coj qaug qeb, but want to be hero.
Tus niam tsev nrog koj tu siab rau koj lub neej kawg li ua ib tug neeg nyob qhov yus pheej hlub yus tsev neeg los vim yus yog ib tug neeg siab zoo2 xwb thiaj li ua rau yus muaj txoj kev tu siab txomnyem siab ua luaj muab xav los ua cas yuav tag kev cia siab ua luaj qhia rau koj tias koj twb tau koob hmoov ntau lawm vajtswv txoj lus yeej sam fwm tseg lawm twb yog vim koj txiv koj tus txiv thiaj tawm hauv koj lub neej mus lawm ces kom koj cov nus cov mus nrog lawv nyob los sis kom nws mus nrhiav tsev laus rau nws nyob yog koj tseem xav tau koj cov menyuam ces ua ib siab nrog koj cov me nyuam nyob ntseeg hais tias law yuav hlub koj ua ib siab txhob tos koj tus txiv txoj kev hlub lawm yog nws ho xav los xyuas nej cov niam tub nws kuj los nws ua ib siab tsis txhob khib lawm thaum koj nyuaj siab koj cia li thov vajtswv los nyob hauv koj lub siab los pab tshem tej kev nyuaj siab es koj thiaj liyuav tiv taus koj kuj ho mus nrog cov
Ntseeg yesxus hauv koj lub zos pe hawm vajtswv thiab koj thiaj yuav ua taus siab ntev thov vajtswv pab kom koj ntsib kev noj qab nyob zoo os tus viv ncaus hmoob
Ur sibling really did u wrong. I can’t with that.
I wonder if the mom left and was able to demonstrate strength, would the daughter tolerate so much abuse? Her whole family took advantage of her continuously.
Nco ntsoov nrhiav muam phauj tsawm kom fab lwm tiam yug los kom ntse me ntsis xwb.
Nco ntsoov nyab nus viv ncaus ces luag hlub yus mas tab sis tus nyab thiab tus txiv hluas txiv laus ces yus tsis yog tus lawv hlub no nawb luag neej zoo luag saib yus qis nawb mog yus hlub yus xwb
Yog li koj hais os sister. Tabsis koj twb ua tau ib tus zoo muam laem ces yuav li xwb os nawb.
Move as far as possible and cut ties with your dad.
You were left with the responsibility of being a parent to your siblings. You should of taught them discipline and responsibility to be able to help you and alleviate the load off your shoulders. So everyone can carry their own weight. Relatives will always lay the responsibility on you so they don’t have to pick up the mess. So do what you can only. But it’s too late now. Your whole life is a mess because you are too nice.
Skipping this story. Too much headaches
Tu sister aws, Txhob tu2 siab os. Zoo saib koj pab lawv es lawv tsis niaj hnub tuaj thov koj noj xwb ces zoo lawm mog. Take care of yourself. Make your dad go live with your brother
Nco ntsoov koj pab lawv koj thiaj zoosiab xwb lawv yog tus tau koj yam khoomplig lawv twb tsis zoo siab rau yus, lawv yuav tsis muab lawv txojsia rau koj li koj ua rau lawv no nawb mog. Kev ua zoo rau neeg ces ua li yus ua tau xwb, thiaj tsis txomnyem.
God bless your heart for being there for all your siblings and now your dad, but you are Not responsible for your all siblings and your dad. Nyob mes kas teb lawm yog leej twg xav ua neeg zoo los sis xav khwv ces yeej ua tau kawg vim teb chaws no zoo, zoo khwv nyiaj li. Yog lawv tsis xav ua ces txhob ua kom koj lub neej puas nawb mog! Kav tsij pab thiab hlub koj tus kheej thiab koj tsev neeg/koj tus txiv es tsam koj lub neej plam mog!
Iono what to say but i probably do the same thing if im your hubby
You learned your lesson already. Moving forward , I hope you learn to love yourself. You cannot undo the things in the past but you can create a better future for you. Your father is the problem, maybe start with taking out the problem first. Good luck . I hope you have the strength to do better.
Cas tus siab ua luaj thiab. Kuv Xav tias Kuv thiaj ruam es ua li lwm tus lub siab nyiam xwb no es ho tseem muaj koj hlub hlub lwm Cov neeg li Kuv thiab no. Kav Liam mas, yus ua zoo yeej yuav tau Ntuj ntoo xwb. Tsis yog tiam no los yeej yuav rov pab raum lwm tiam. Txhob tu tu siab thiab. Muab xa li xwb o😢
Koj cov nyab cov nus cov niam hluas lawv tsis hlub koj os yog lawv hlub koj mas lawv yuav hlub koj heev li koj lub neej tsis zoo los vim lawv, lawv yuav tsum hlub koj thiab thiaj tsis npam lawv nawb.
so sorry sister for your sorrow and suffering
You continued to endure the pain from your husband because that’s all you knew.
I feel the same about helping own family sometimes I just wanted to cry.
koj niam aw.tug ua zoo yog tug yeej hos koj muaj lub siab zoo siab dawb hlub lawm tug nub no koj tsw xam poj tiag koj ua zoo ntau xyoo log tsw tau qhov zoo lub ntuj txawj2 faib kev ncaj rau peb kawg tom ntej no koj yuav tau kev hlub log ntawm koj cov me nyuam koj yuav tsw muaj mob muaj nkeeg
Too late for you now they are ungrateful siblings.
It's time to love yourself and live for yourself. Your kids are grown, move on.