Thank you for this very open and candid talk, it has helped me to understand my mother and her abusive relationship with my father. She is such a smart and strong woman, yet dealt with abuse thinking she deserved it and now sees herself stronger and more confident. This has helped me to understand her pain, her scars and her journey!
great video! and a great way of showing people there is a way out of domestic violence!! you can just tell that your mum is a strong lady who has raised four amazing children xxxx
Thank you for sharing this. It's really hard for some people to open up to others, especially with tough major sensitive topics as this one. Your mother is one strong woman.
such an important story to tell. I'm sure this has reached someone in an abusive relationship and given them courage and hope. your mom is so wonderful. as a survivor of domestic violence myself, she's given me a new sense of understanding of my own struggle. thank you for putting this out there.
Your Mom is so Lovely And Very Brave !! She obviously did an amazing job raising you guys. Just knowing you from watching you and your brothers videos, you all seem so nice ! The type of people I would be Very Happy to have as friends :-) !! I'm sure that this segment will be helpful and inspiring to someone in a similar situation. Thank you for sharing something so personal with all of us. Hugs,Stacy
Over six years ago I fleed an abusive marriage that was forced upon me when I was 17 and recently I started doubting my decision wondering whether I made the right choice. After watching this video it has reassured me that I did do the right thing. Thank you
This was such an amazing video, your mum is so strong for doing this, it needs to be talked about so much more than it has been in the past, its shocking how many people it happens to, much love to you all!
I thought of you too throughout this whole video and just saw your comment now. People that have been commenting on your video saying you're lying should watch this. Im sure its not easy to up and leave. This lady lived with it for years. I'm glad you didn't waste any more of your precious years living with that crazy guy.
Thank you so much for all your lovely comments, I said to my girls I thought I would be going out wearing a disguise, but thanks to all your kind and positive comments........Im walking with my head held high. Thanks
ModernandMature Well done mum, we are very very proud of you. I told you it would be fine and I hope that you feel positive now that it's over. Love you so much. xxxx
You're an amazing woman, so strong and so beautiful. I feel horrible that you had to go through all of that because you're such a kind individual. Whenever you would make an appearance on Sam or Nic's videos, I'd get so excited! I truly admire you and your grace. :)
You can walk with your head high! You're so brave, and your girls (i'm sure your boys too) love you tremendously and really look up to you, I can tell. I don't know you and I look up to you. I have nothing to tell you but "right on!!!"
Thank you so much Judy, have been following your whole family here on youtube from the start and your love for one another truly translates on screen. Your story sharing is a gift and will no doubt help others out there right now. Love you to all!
Keep your head held high! There is no shame in sharing a story like this, it can only help people! Watching Nic and Sam and Jim here on youtube, and seeing what a beautiful family you have, I never would have imagined that this was a part of their story. You are an amazingly strong woman for having the courage to leave that situation, and your children are a testament to the wonderful job you did raising them. Hopefully hearing your story might speak to women in DV situations, and will show them there is light at the end of the tunnel if they decide to leave. Thank you for having the courage to make this video!
When Nic was talking about how she just never knew your family was different I just burst into tears. I was exactly the same! I thought everyone lived the way we did. My father was never, that I know of, physically abusive. However he was extremely emotionally abusive to my mother, brother and I. I can see so much of my mum in your beautiful mother, she gave us the choice to see him and be around him and never spoke a bad word of him. When you were referring to the 'atmosphere' and the tension that you felt being near him it just took me back to so many times my father would walk into the room and we'd all stiffen up a bit and feel sick in the stomach. Please hug your mum for me and thank her for sharing her story. Domestic violence comes in so many forms and only now as an adult I have realised just how it has shaped me as a person. I hope anyone out there who is going through this knows that they are not alone and that there is help for you
Thanks for your comment Bec it was a hard thing my my mum to share but I think it will hopefully help slot of people. I will give her a extra hug from you. Nic x
As a child of domestic violence, I thank you for sharing your story. You have such a strong, classy mother, and I admire her strength to leave. Y'all are going God's work with this video. God Bless you all.
How brave of you girls for wanting to speak about it. It hurt my heart to hear and see the pain that it brought to you. I sat here in tears right with you. Sending you all great big hugs of support!
Hi Sam and Nic, and Mum! Thank you for this video. I felt it deeply as a Mum myself. You may not see this comment but I wanted to tell you that I became disabled in April 2008 from a medical mistake done in A&E (ER where I am in Canada). I discovered your Pixiwoo channel several years ago and it became a godsend to me. I cannot do anything, I lie flat everyday in the dark with ice all over my head for 6-8 hours. I can't read anymore or do activities with my children, even eating and sleeping are difficult. I've lost my friends because of it. (I wrote you a long letter about this in 2012 but I don't know if you ever read it). Anyway, once I found your videos, I had something to look forward to and something to do rather than just lie and stare at wall. I have watched as your success has taken off exponentially and I have seen how talented your whole family is. Watching you with your Mum is always a pleasure and in this video, your bond with her comes shining through. I like to think that though my story is different from your Mums, that I am still creating that bind with my children despite being knocked down in the prime of my life. Health is precious and not realized enough until it's gone I guess. A big thank you for sharing this personal story. It really touched me in so many ways. ((Hugs))
while my situation is different from yours and your Mums, that I am still creating that same bond with my children despite being knocked down in the prime of my life. I was 35 when this happened to me, 42 now. Watching you with your Mum is always a pleasure and this one was extra special. Thank you for sharing your personal story, it touched me in many ways. Your whole family is inspiring and became that way in the face of adversity. I can only hope that my family can continue to persevere as well and come out the other side as close as you all are. ((Hugs))
I've came here from the documentary about TH-camrs and I just want to say that I am so so sorry you all had to go through that! Massive respect and hugs to you all xxx
So close to home ladies. Absolutely amazing video :) and Judy is so brave for telling her story. Thanks for this :) raising awareness is so important. AMAZING!
Came here from Jim's documentary. . . didn't realise how much you'd been through. . . This topic needs more awareness and support. . . Good job ladies! x
As a family lawyer, I have so much respect for your mother for choosing not to denigrate your father to you (even though he deserved it). It is obvious to me that she truly loved you and your brothers and had your best interests at heart. She is a strong, beautiful, courageous woman. Thank you for sharing with us.
I just watched this because I saw it come up in Jim's BBC doco. Your Mum is amazing. To come out the other side of that so strong and to have such a close knit loving family is truly fantastic. Mummy Judy, you are an inspiration. Such a difficult thing to talk about but you handled it so well. What a beautiful lady you are. Your children are testament to what a fantastic mother you are. LOVE all the Chapmans and extended family. Well done Sam and Nic xox Love to you all
The only one ashamed of this should be your father. Keep your head high Mrs Chapman. A true inspiration to women allover! I've often wondered what the deal with your father was since you never spoke of him, but didn't want to ask as i sensed it wasn't something you wanted to talk about. See these fantastic kind and successful 4 children he's missing out on, not to speak of the wonderful grandchildren. I hope he's regretting his actions big time. Thank you for sharing this very private subject with us
Awww your mum is so brave for being so open and honest. Tell her not to be embarrassed, there is no shame in protecting her family. It is the abuser who should be ashamed.
Intellectual integrity: Defined as recognition of the need to be true to one's own thinking and to hold oneself to the same standards one expects others to meet. And after watching that video for the first time it is clear to see your mum is someone with incredible Intellectual integrity. Cheers to your brave brave Mum.
Holy SHIT. Powerful video. Probably one of the most important ones you've ever made. Massive kudos to your mom, this is the kind of thing that has a genuinely positive impact on viewers and for that you should all be proud. I have to be honest, since watching you guys (and Jim) for the last few years I've always wondered about your Dad, mainly because he was never mentioned. Regardless of the youtube creator/viewer curiosity, I always thought it was completely none of my business and therefore got a bit annoyed when I saw other commenters asking about him because of how inappropriate I thought it was. Saying that, the curiosity remained though I think it was mainly stemming from the questions that naturally arise when vloggers let people into specific sections of their lives.This was a great was to articulate the reasons for his absence and never have to explain it again. Inspirational story. Here mum, have a hug xx
I am just in awe of how your mother managed to endure what she did with such grace. Reminds me of the quote, "Strong women: may we know them, may we raise them, may we be them."
This had me in absolute tears, it's so sad that children are going through this everyday! Your mum and many women/men out there suffering abuse are so brave and like your mum will find their way out in the end, I suffered abuse from an ex partner when I was 17 (I'm 30 now) he was mentally and physically abusive to the point where he pushed me down the stairs and caused me to miscarry our baby (blessing in disguise) I knew from that moment that it couldn't carry on so I spoke out and the more people that knew the more I found the strength to tell him to piss off out of my life! I have never seen him since and don't ever wish too, it's all still quite fresh in my mind and I'm not sure anyone can get over it but it definitely makes us stronger, sorry if some of this makes no sense, I'm tapping away on my phone through teary eyes xx love you girls xx
it's amazing how you never know whats going in someones life and judge them by their looks. I would never be able to tell that. Its such and eye opener that we should not judge by look, you never know what they are dealing with in life and how patient and strong they are. You all are amazing people and i am so glad she finally talked about it and came to terms with it. Because they say you are not over with something until you are not able to talk about it. You all are strong strong women :)
Your mum is SO SO brave for coming on here and talking about it, even if it so many years after and all you beautiful children have grown up, it would still sting to talk about something like this. I personally admire her and your family for bringing this difficult topic up to the forefront, it should be talked about more often because this would NEVER be ok. xx
It made me chuckle a little when Nic was describing the atmosphere and how it was strange going to someone elses house where people got on. I suppose it just reassured me that I'm not the only one. Thank you for filming this! Unfortunately I'm still in the situation but your story helped me cope
I really hope you find a way out of it soon. I do not know your story and it woud be rude to tell someone what do to with their life. But i know this sort of thing is unacceptable under amy circumstances. I will pray for you every night. Wish you all the best celine. Pls find the courage to seek for help.
I watched this Video today because Jim told "me" too. I have no clue this happened in your life, your childhood robbed because of this horrible man. I cried watching this, you're all so brave. Your mum, Judy I think, is brave and not to say a bad word about him to you guys is just amazing. I can't believe your family went through that and you still smile and act like nothing happened which I absolutely adore.
This video took me by surprise. Your honesty and bravery is remarkable, and I'm sure there's someone watching you out there who will see this and maybe take the first step (or another in a long way) towards running away, or healing from past wounds.
You darling girls and your beautiful mom. I'm in my early 50's now and my mother was in an abusive marriage for about 15 years. When you spoke of the tension running through your household, your journey through that time in your lives, it could have been my childhood you were describing. I want to thank your mom so much for giving some insight to what it was like as the adult in the abusive relationship. My mother passed away before she and I really talked about it. Who knew that you girls, a generation younger than me, your mom, a generation younger than mine, would live such similar lives. This topic is always close to my heart. Thank you, for sharing this part of your lives. It gives people knowledge and that, at the very least is what we should be doing.
Thank you so much for sharing your story, I was in DV relationship and I now work as a DV victim support worker. I have been asked to appear on BBC spotlight next week to share my story in support of '1 billion rising on the 14th feb' and I have been questioning whether or not I should do it. You've shown me that I have to share my story, that talking about our experiences is the only way we can help other women and show them that you can be emotionally, financially and physically broken but you can transform your lives :) and you girls are a credit to your mother, you have achieved so much! xxxx
Message to the Mum: Just to clarify You did not leave the house with nothing, you left the house with you and your children alive and mostly intact. Seeing you on their channel with them brightens my day, especially for one reason -they (at least the pixiwoo's) have all inherited the way your personality turns into a star and a smile and comes from your eyes. It was an honor to hear your story, and thankyou for telling it.
This video was so emotional but so eye opening! I love TH-camrs who do this its so amazing to see people speaking out and giving someone somewhere to start if this has happened/ happening to them. If you see this can you tell your mum I think she's super brave! And you girls too and obviously Jim and John it must of been so hard for you all. x
I'm a young woman at the age of 17, and I did not get told about this in school, I was never ever warned about abuse or domestic violence or any violence for that matter. Now I'm going off to university next year and it still amazes me how very little we are educated about serious topics such as these. I would like to thank you all for speaking out and enabling us to understand what domestic violence is and what the effects can be and that you can overcome this. I would also like to thank your mum for teaching us that no matter how hard it gets there is a way out, even when it feels impossible. You educate and inspire many younger people like me. keep it up guys
I've had to learn a lot more about this than I'd ever want to know to help a friend. Its easy to say "why don't they leave," but on top of all the financial/housing/security stuff, there are the psychological chains - and they are chains; the abused partner has effectively been under such severe stress for so long its anazing they aren't shattered, let alone capable of proactive movement. The psychological conditioning is considered capable of breaking well-trained military officers within days, yet these people have lived with and often protected children from it for years - the irony is that they think they are weak, yet they are anything but. Your mother is an amazing lady, and thank you for telling your stories. The more we all talk about this, the easier it will be for the abused to take the first, hardest step and TELL SOMEBODY. There is help and you'll never know where it can come from - if someone offers a hand, take it. Please don't ever accept this, for yourself or anyone you know.
Your mum is a really wonderful person. My mum was in an abusive relationship as well. Before I was born with my brothers' dad, and with my father. She is the strongest person I know, never spoke ill of him because I was 3 when they seperated and she wanted me to have a father because her boys didn't have one. I never liked my father and never want to see him, he mentally abused me as well, but it always baffled me that my mum was so selfless. She didn't know I was being mentally abused, and when she first heard about it, she never made me go again unless I wanted to. Mothers (like yours and mine) are the strongest, most selfless and loving people that exist. I am so grateful for mine and I can imagine how grateful you are for yours. Maybe you can make a Tuesday Chat about fathers like ours and how it affected you two. I would find it very interesting. Thanks for this video. Best of luck to you and your wonderful mother and always make sure that she knows how proud you are of her, because the scars (especially mentally) remain. Thanks again.
Oh, I forgot. Thanks to my mum, I had the guts to get out of a bad relationship as well. I never told anyone about the abuse, but when my mum saw how he beat me up (and she gave him a taste of his own medicine), I knew I wasn't alone and that I could be strong as well since I have an awesome role model. It's funny and sad at the same time how history repeats itself. Thanks to her, I had the power to break the cycle.
I just came from Jim's documentary and I want to say you guys and your mum are all so brave to talk about this. Lots of hugs and respect to you all!! xxx
I've just found this video after watching Rise of the Superstar Vloggers! What an amazing person your Mum is! My Mum is my world and I would do anything for my her and I can see that you guys have an amazing bond with your Mum and likewise would do anything for her! Nobody should have to go through what your Mum has been through! Keep doing what your doing! Definitely going to have to sit down and catch up on all of your Tuesday Chats aha!xxxx
You guys are amazing. Your mother is a beautiful and strong woman and she was so well composed while telling her story: there is no negativity or hatred in her; she is so peaceful and strong. Your mother and you are a great example for other women going thru the similar situations in their lives and how you can still come out of it in one piece and still be happy. Thank you for sharing your story.
I grew up in a home like that, so I know exactly how it feels. I'm so proud of your Mom for leaving and making a safe place for her babies. Give her a hug from me. ;)
Much love to your family, especially your mom. It takes a lot of courage to be able to have a voice after experiencing such hardships, but I'm sure that just by speaking, she has touched so many lives.
who are the 49 persons who didn't liked this video? i don't understand why they didn't like a video about an amazing woman who carried her family no matter what and who was brave enought to get over an hard situation like this. I am not concerned about domestic abuse, but i hope that it will be the beginning of a light at the end of the tunnel for anyone who is suffering and think that no one is here for them. you are not alone, be strong.
What an absolutely amazing woman. It was so brave of her to talk so openly about something so personal. So sorry you and your family had to go through those terrible times. But so happy you have all come out the other end and are happy and in a better place now. Much love xxx
You are both beautiful, inspirational women and I am happy that you could share your story with us. My mum, my older sister and I went through a similar situation with our father. Strange enough he to this day is still in touch with our step brother (they must have favoured boys in the 80’s!), whom he once put in our house and set alight along with our step mum. Since then, my mum has been married to my step dad for 20+ years who is the kindest, funniest man ever and they are a great team. I hope to find what they have one day x
People don't realize the emotional abuse that accompanies physical abuse, she was so right when she said she had been brainwashed. Abusers are sneaky and start off slowly and get worse, it is so hard to realize when you are in the situation. It annoys me when it is portrayed in the media as being a normal happy relationship then suddenly someone hits you, it is rarely like that. I appreciate your mum & both of you choosing to open up about this subject. There needs to be more awareness and discussion about such topics.
I went through my share of domestic violence & I'm so glad I made it through that. I make videos on TH-cam & can't wait to cover up the scars on my face. After washing my makeup off, I look at them and always remind myself to never let anyone scar me again. It's a process to accept the fact that you were ever involved in something like that, but when you do, life gets so much better because knowing you made it and knowing you realized are stronger than you think, it's the most gratifying feeling ever! I'm so glad you posted this video, I would not have ever guessed you all went through that. Ps - your mother is a beautiful woman! Holy moly.
if you would read my comment and make suggestions, i would be very grateful. we are trying to help a young woman; i am not sure she is totally ready to leave either.
melissa cook +melissa cook in my experience, if you try to make someone leave, it will be more of a challenge to the person to try & fix the problem. I remember my best friend crying and telling me to leave, but I wasn't ready because I was denial, I was blind by 'love' ((when really, it wasn't love at all, just to fear of being alone)), we wanted to be the person to change that person, etc. So many reasons why she might not be ready to leave. You just have to keep reminding her that things will only get worse, but you can't change her mind, only she can. When she's ready, she will leave in a heartbeat. I wish we had the ability to snap our fingers & make them change their mind. Some sooner than others. Some hold on to the good memories because they don't want they go of that. But you just have to stand by your friend. In the end, they will find their strength. :j
i am so proud of her, she is getting her own place this month; getting help and working so hard. she needs so much encouraging at this point. thank you for your words of wisdom. :)
My dad was both physically and mentally abusive towards my mum, thankfully he is out of our life's now. Its so bizarre how much your mum reminds me of my own. Its not easy for a single parent to take complete control, risk financial insecurity and to raise a family alone especially when you have young children that dont always understand the sacrifices you have to make. I love my mum, shes my ultimate idol and i can only hope that when i raise a family i can do it with the same strength, love and guidance she has given me and my brother. thank you for posting the video!
Wow. I've just had a moment to watch the video and Judy immediately reminded me of my own mother's story. My mother was married for 19 years to my father and likewise... on the first instance believing she did something to anger him. Staying out of fear... not having a support system but a final incidence almost left her paralysed and a doctor explained that she must leave and leave now. That was it ...mum had a bit of money she had managed to hide which he hadn't found this time around and we flew across the country to our grandmother... all staying in the one bedroom. These women are amazing. Judy, my own and many out there are simply amazing.
I am so glad that your family opened about this terrible subject. It is an epidemic that often times is kept quiet. I am a survivor, and when your mum said his eyes glazed over, and it was like he was a different person, a cold chill went thru me. It is true, it's like they become a totally different being. Alot of other's do not understand this. Thank you, because it is a very hard subject to talk about and make other's aware of it.
I'm amazed that such a loving and beautiful family could have come out of such darkness. Every one of you is a credit to your mother and an obvious testament to her warmth and affection. My admiration for you all has increased tenfold.
pixiwoo After watching the video yesterday and sleeping on it, I feel that I would like to add this… From the perspective of the ‘person’ who is the best friend of a victim, who day after day has to watch the abuse unfold, (frustrating and agonizing).... I knew that there was a strong person in Judy trying to escape but for all the reasons she stated, that person couldn’t get out because of all the years of brainwashing. I am a very feisty person and all I wanted to do was punch ‘him’ one, but I soon learn't that anything I said to him ended up with him taking out his hate for me on Judy. I had to tread very carefully indeed. I hated him but I never made it too obvious to him. He hated me too, but also didn't make it obvious. It was like a head on battle of strategy! I started with trying to build Judy’s confidence to counter act his dominance over her. Over a period of time, (about a year), she then began to see for herself that his behavior was totally unacceptable. Once her confidence grew, it reached a point where SHE said ‘stop’. It had to come from her, not me. That’s when I jumped in with her and we made a ‘wall’ and we stood our ground. This was when it became a war and got really nasty because he realized he was loosing control over her, which is what it is all about. It is not a quick process, so if you do have a friend who is suffering abuse, be patient and supportive and build on their confidence and wait until THEY are ready. Only then can you let the abuser ‘have it’. ‘Sometimes things have to get worse to get better’. Believe this…you Will be ok if you leave, it will be tough, but however tough it is, it is better than staying. Thank goodness things are easier now, there is help out there. Love xx
Bless you, Heidi. Thank you Sam and Nic for uploading this video and to Judy for your bravery. Judy, Sam, Nic, John and Jim are a credit to you, your love and strength. I, too am a child of an abusive home, however my parents are still together (after 48 years - God only knows why). Thank you all for posting this video. Domestic violence, despite changes in recent years, is still treated like a dirty secret. In my experience, the shame of abuse taints the victims rather than the perpetrator. It is only through the bravery of people that will openly discuss domestic abuse, that the shame and stigma associated with it will begin to wane. Thank you all again xo
God will bless you in ways you can't imagine in Heaven, Heidi. You are a blessed woman. Thank you. Like I said in my earlier comment....just ONE person can make the world of difference in abuse. I love ALL of you! I'm crying right now.....even years later from my experience. Thank God for those around us!
Thankyou Heidi. You are obviously a great friend. I have just been through supporting someone until they were ready to leave and making sure I was there when they did. It has been difficult because I had no control and yet cared deeply about those involved. The waiting, biting my tongue, was hard. Fortunately the process of leaving is begun.
Thank you so much for sharing this incredibly important and difficult story. To all of you, Sam, Nic, Jim, Jon and most importantly Judy, lots & lots of love and respect. I am so proud of you for your courage and your strength. I cannot imagine raising 4 children on my own. I have just the one. My husband is an alcoholic and I don't want my little boy to be hurt by his father's bad choices. I only hope I can be as strong as you Judy. God bless xoxo
your mum is an incredible woman!! she deserves so much credit for you and your siblings and how well she has brought you all up!! not only for that but for being strong for herself and you !!
What an absolutely amazing lady and your family is amazing for sticking with each other and supporting one an other. That 'tight knit' family connection is something that all people should not take for granted and is hard to maintain but through love and strength and understanding you have shown people what it really takes. Thank you x
I've just seen this video for the first time. It's hit home on so many different levels. I live in the house your describing, always an atmosphere can never fully relax because you don't know what mood my dad is going to be in. My mum is very much 'in it for the kids' even though me and my sister have both had our lives greatly impacted by my dad and my brother is starting to see him for the man he really is. Your mum is so right it has to be there choice you can never talk them into it. I hope one day my mum will find the strength yours has.
Very brave all 3 of you. Hats off to you. Almost a taboo subject so it's even more important to talk about so people in this situation can hopefully get help. Lots of love if anyone reading this is going through this situation. xxx
You're mom is amazing, not only because she was able to live through that but because she had the courage to tell her story. I wish all the best for you three. I'm sure you just helped a lot of women that may be going through that right now.
Your father must feel like a right idiot, missing out on seeing his beautiful children flourish into amazing adults who all have hundred of thousands, going on millions of viewers all across the globe. you guys have such a strong, amazing family bonds x
Wow I had no idea about this until the documentary tonight. Think it's fantastic that you're raising awareness like this by giving your experience. Very courageous.
I sat there nodding throughout this whole video (and getting teary especially when you all did), I am a domestic violence survivor myself from my daughter's father. It's taken me a long time to find who I really am from that. But I knew I had to leave for my daughter's sake as my mum went through the same thing and it ruined my childhood. I am now stronger than I ever was and wiser but sadly as Sam said there is a knock on affect from it which I still suffer for to this day. Thank you to all of you for sharing this video, it was so brave of all of you to speak out over this issue. Your mother is beautiful and courageous, you can see how close you all are which has helped me know that it will not destroy the bond I have with my daughter. Love and big hugs to you all
This was very touching, your mum seems like such an amazing and loving mother. And its true you all seem such a close family. I think although it must have been so hard for her to share this its definitely important- hopefully this helped anyone going through or who has been through something similar
First of all Mom looks beautiful....and she is very bave to tell that story! I lived in that time where there was no knowledge of abuse or anywhere to go for help! Domestic violence was no acknowledged and considered your own problem! Bravo to you all! And hugs too! Xoxo CAROL
I think the reason I got a little teary in this video was because your mum is so inspiring and brave and I just can't believe she could be so brave as to let her story be there for everyone to see. It's so amazing.xx
Sam, Nic, Judy, Jim and John. Wow. You are so strong! I look up to every single one of you! This story opened my eyes a lot about Domestic Violence. Judy. You raised four kid single! This is so strong and amazing! Now look at you. Your such a beautiful, intelligent and perfect woman. Jim, Sam, Nic and John. You are so strong. You were four kids when your father was taken away. This is immensely strong. Look we're you all are. Jim is a TH-camr, engaged. Sam and Nic, TH-camr, kids and married. John, fitness enthusiast! This family is amazing. I give you all luck in the future!
This could not have come at a better time. I cried this whole entire video. I was in an abusive relationship for a year and a half and just recently got away from him. This video showed me that it does get better and that you truly can turn it around for yourself. You're mother is an absolute angel, and by her sitting down and telling her story, I feel so much better and less alone. Thank you so much. really.
It is quite obvious how you both became so amazing, strong and resilient--your Mom! I commend you all for courageously sharing your story. I think Pixiwoo is an appropriate channel to address what is largely a woman's issue. I am a regular follower and am pleasantly surprised to see you spreading your wings into other areas that affect women. Kudos! Didn't think it was possible but I respect you even more! ;)
been through it all also.. 1st with my parents then unfortunatly my relationships throughout my adult life.. its especially horrific when such things r witnessed by our children.. my son and i r also very close.. id always say to him "its me and u against the world kiddo".. there is light at the end of the tunnel.. thank u for sharin yr story x
Jim's video on the 28/09/14 brought me here. On behalf of men I would like to apologise for your ex husbands actions. You are so incredibly brave for speaking out. I wish you and yours the very best for the future. Thank you.
This was such an amazing video! I'm going through something like this at the moment, but it was because of terrible emotional abuse and blackmail.I thought it was normal to be scared of him, not be close with him, and not even be alone with him - I didn't realise it wasn't until I went on holiday with my friends and her parents. My dad was really manipulative and just destroyed my confidence completely. He did the same for my mum as well. I was always very scared of him, but one night it got so much worse - so much so that I was terrified to go home from school the day after. Turns out we didn't have to - my mum had found us a house and we moved that day. I haven't seen my Dad since 02.05.14. The hardest part of this has been my friends. None of them have been supportive and all thought I was exaggerating because I never told them anything as it was happening. No one believed us because my mum was with him for 24 years and everyone thought they were happily married, even though my mum had to leave him in early 2000, when I was only a couple of months old. He harassed us and terrified us all, but this time my mum got a non mol. order from the start and it has been so much easier. Now there's the whole court thing about contact with him (which neither me nor my brothers want) and I'm terrified I'm going to have to see him. Hopefully I won't, and I may want to see him at some point but not yet.
He also told my older brother that he would only give him any money for uni. (which is £9000 per year), if he came to see him. Funnily enough that didn't happen. One of the most messed up things is that he threatened suicide if mum ever left him and hinted at suicide every so often (in front of us kids - from the ages of 7, 9 and 12).
Fantasellie I'm glad that he's out of your life now- I know it must be hard, but you and your family don't have to worry any more. You are old enough that the courts will take your opinions into account. If they don't listen, fight it. My dad has always been violent and often threatens suicide- it's just a way to control people and just shows how messed up they are. Maybe try talking to your friends about it again, explain everything and if they're not supportive, I think you need some new friends- any normal person would support you. Take care x
Natasha Anne Thank you x It's nice (but sad, obviously) that someone understands what we went through. Still lots of stuff with the courts - and it's going to go on for ages - but it'll stop at some point. Hope it's been sorted out for you too xx
I know this is from a few weeks ago but I just wanted to say your mum is amazing and so strong! I'm only 21 and suffered from domestic violence when I was just 16 and didn't feel brave enough to leave until a year later! It was the worst year of my life and it nearly ruined me completely but, I'm sitting writing this today in a completely different relationship with someone who couldn't treat me any better if he tried, extremely happy and studying to become a teacher.. Your mum is fantastic for coming out the other side a braver, stronger woman and rained 4 amazing children who are all extremely successful in what they do! Also, she's beautiful.. xoxox
Literally the best mum in the world.
FACT!
AND she's got the hottest sons. :)
very brave!
You really have someone to be proud of!
Made me well up.
What a brave, strong woman!
Love you Judy xx
Hey TB, didn't mum do well! She didn't sleep the night before we filmed this.
pixiwoo She did brilliantly. A hard story to tell but an important well. She spoke very eloquently without sounding bitter. Well done to her x
pixiwoo Your mum is so inspiring
Thank you for this very open and candid talk, it has helped me to understand my mother and her abusive relationship with my father. She is such a smart and strong woman, yet dealt with abuse thinking she deserved it and now sees herself stronger and more confident. This has helped me to understand her pain, her scars and her journey!
Thank you so much for all your comments. We have read every one of them. xx
great video! and a great way of showing people there is a way out of domestic violence!! you can just tell that your mum is a strong lady who has raised four amazing children xxxx
Oh my god, what a woman! much love for all of you. you've got a really, really beautiful family♥️!
Thank you for sharing this. It's really hard for some people to open up to others, especially with tough major sensitive topics as this one. Your mother is one strong woman.
such an important story to tell. I'm sure this has reached someone in an abusive relationship and given them courage and hope. your mom is so wonderful. as a survivor of domestic violence myself, she's given me a new sense of understanding of my own struggle. thank you for putting this out there.
Your Mom is so Lovely And Very Brave !! She obviously did an amazing job raising you guys. Just knowing you from watching you and your brothers videos, you all seem so nice ! The type of people I would be Very Happy to have as friends :-) !!
I'm sure that this segment will be helpful and inspiring to someone in a similar situation.
Thank you for sharing something so personal with all of us. Hugs,Stacy
Over six years ago I fleed an abusive marriage that was forced upon me when I was 17 and recently I started doubting my decision wondering whether I made the right choice. After watching this video it has reassured me that I did do the right thing. Thank you
You definitely did the right thing. Sending you love and peace. You're amazing, don't ever forget that. xo
thamina25 You did the right thing. You are so brave.
Your mum is the strongest woman I have ever heard of. God bless her.
i know right
This was such an amazing video, your mum is so strong for doing this, it needs to be talked about so much more than it has been in the past, its shocking how many people it happens to, much love to you all!
Just watched your video yesterday Sammi, it almost made me cry. So glad to hear people sharing their stories, it can't be easy
I sooooo thought of you watching this. I was gonna try to "send" it to you. Both stories are stories of courage and bravery to leave a bad situation.
I agree with Sammi, it's so brave of your mum to speak so openly about this topic. Both women and men need to be aware, this can happen to anyone xx
Xxx
I thought of you too throughout this whole video and just saw your comment now. People that have been commenting on your video saying you're lying should watch this. Im sure its not easy to up and leave. This lady lived with it for years. I'm glad you didn't waste any more of your precious years living with that crazy guy.
Thank you so much for all your lovely comments, I said to my girls I thought I would be going out wearing a disguise, but thanks to all your kind and positive comments........Im walking with my head held high. Thanks
ModernandMature Well done mum, we are very very proud of you. I told you it would be fine and I hope that you feel positive now that it's over. Love you so much. xxxx
You're an amazing woman, so strong and so beautiful. I feel horrible that you had to go through all of that because you're such a kind individual. Whenever you would make an appearance on Sam or Nic's videos, I'd get so excited! I truly admire you and your grace. :)
You can walk with your head high! You're so brave, and your girls (i'm sure your boys too) love you tremendously and really look up to you, I can tell. I don't know you and I look up to you. I have nothing to tell you but "right on!!!"
Thank you so much Judy, have been following your whole family here on youtube from the start and your love for one another truly translates on screen. Your story sharing is a gift and will no doubt help others out there right now. Love you to all!
Keep your head held high! There is no shame in sharing a story like this, it can only help people! Watching Nic and Sam and Jim here on youtube, and seeing what a beautiful family you have, I never would have imagined that this was a part of their story. You are an amazingly strong woman for having the courage to leave that situation, and your children are a testament to the wonderful job you did raising them. Hopefully hearing your story might speak to women in DV situations, and will show them there is light at the end of the tunnel if they decide to leave. Thank you for having the courage to make this video!
When Nic was talking about how she just never knew your family was different I just burst into tears. I was exactly the same! I thought everyone lived the way we did.
My father was never, that I know of, physically abusive. However he was extremely emotionally abusive to my mother, brother and I. I can see so much of my mum in your beautiful mother, she gave us the choice to see him and be around him and never spoke a bad word of him.
When you were referring to the 'atmosphere' and the tension that you felt being near him it just took me back to so many times my father would walk into the room and we'd all stiffen up a bit and feel sick in the stomach.
Please hug your mum for me and thank her for sharing her story.
Domestic violence comes in so many forms and only now as an adult I have realised just how it has shaped me as a person.
I hope anyone out there who is going through this knows that they are not alone and that there is help for you
Thanks for your comment Bec it was a hard thing my my mum to share but I think it will hopefully help slot of people. I will give her a extra hug from you. Nic x
Well done Judy, its good to tell your story. Xxx
Heidi Roberts Thanks Heidi. Bless her, she really didn't want to do this. x
As a child of domestic violence, I thank you for sharing your story. You have such a strong, classy mother, and I admire her strength to leave. Y'all are going God's work with this video. God Bless you all.
I am a DV survivor. Thank you for your story.
That was lovely. Your Mom is incredible. You are very lucky.
Your mum is amazing, strong & brave! This video will definitely help so many others! Xx
Thanks Jordan.x
Your Mom is absolutely stunning, and truly inspirational. Thanks for sharing something very personal. You're a true inspiration.
How brave of you girls for wanting to speak about it. It hurt my heart to hear and see the pain that it brought to you. I sat here in tears right with you. Sending you all great big hugs of support!
Hi Sam and Nic, and Mum! Thank you for this video. I felt it deeply as a Mum myself. You may not see this comment but I wanted to tell you that I became disabled in April 2008 from a medical mistake done in A&E (ER where I am in Canada). I discovered your Pixiwoo channel several years ago and it became a godsend to me. I cannot do anything, I lie flat everyday in the dark with ice all over my head for 6-8 hours. I can't read anymore or do activities with my children, even eating and sleeping are difficult. I've lost my friends because of it. (I wrote you a long letter about this in 2012 but I don't know if you ever read it). Anyway, once I found your videos, I had something to look forward to and something to do rather than just lie and stare at wall. I have watched as your success has taken off exponentially and I have seen how talented your whole family is. Watching you with your Mum is always a pleasure and in this video, your bond with her comes shining through. I like to think that though my story is different from your Mums, that I am still creating that bind with my children despite being knocked down in the prime of my life. Health is precious and not realized enough until it's gone I guess. A big thank you for sharing this personal story. It really touched me in so many ways. ((Hugs))
while my situation is different from yours and your Mums, that I am still creating that same bond with my children despite being knocked down in the prime of my life. I was 35 when this happened to me, 42 now. Watching you with your Mum is always a pleasure and this one was extra special. Thank you for sharing your personal story, it touched me in many ways. Your whole family is inspiring and became that way in the face of adversity. I can only hope that my family can continue to persevere as well and come out the other side as close as you all are. ((Hugs))
I'm so sorry to hear about your disability, you're right, this family have SO much talent! I hope all of these youtubers give you positivity! x
I hope that you find more things that you enjoy like this channel good luck for the future! 😊
Sending you lots of love and strength (which it sounds like you already have :))
So sorry to hear about your disability, I hope this channel is still bringing you joy and that things are getting better for you
I've came here from the documentary about TH-camrs and I just want to say that I am so so sorry you all had to go through that! Massive respect and hugs to you all xxx
Same !!the docomentary that Jim was hosting 😂
Same
Same!
Same
+Aimee-leigh x I'm doing the same thing
Bless the whole family. You're all angels.
+Leah Brynne Thank you.x
So close to home ladies. Absolutely amazing video :) and Judy is so brave for telling her story. Thanks for this :) raising awareness is so important. AMAZING!
Came here from Jim's documentary. . . didn't realise how much you'd been through. . . This topic needs more awareness and support. . . Good job ladies! x
Same
As a family lawyer, I have so much respect for your mother for choosing not to denigrate your father to you (even though he deserved it). It is obvious to me that she truly loved you and your brothers and had your best interests at heart. She is a strong, beautiful, courageous woman. Thank you for sharing with us.
Opening up, bringing awareness and showing that it is not shameful is the beauty in this video.
Very well put, I agree.
I just watched this because I saw it come up in Jim's BBC doco. Your Mum is amazing. To come out the other side of that so strong and to have such a close knit loving family is truly fantastic.
Mummy Judy, you are an inspiration. Such a difficult thing to talk about but you handled it so well. What a beautiful lady you are. Your children are testament to what a fantastic mother you are.
LOVE all the Chapmans and extended family.
Well done Sam and Nic xox Love to you all
Clearly a wonderful woman with a beautiful family. Much love to you all.
Your mum is absolutely gorgeous. She is such a strong woman!
Both of you are incredibly strong as well!
BIG THANKS AND MY HAT OFF TO YOUR MUM FOR SHARING HER STORY WITH ALL OF US!!! And you guys too!
Thanks Karina.x
The only one ashamed of this should be your father. Keep your head high Mrs Chapman. A true inspiration to women allover! I've often wondered what the deal with your father was since you never spoke of him, but didn't want to ask as i sensed it wasn't something you wanted to talk about.
See these fantastic kind and successful 4 children he's missing out on, not to speak of the wonderful grandchildren. I hope he's regretting his actions big time. Thank you for sharing this very private subject with us
Well said!
Awww your mum is so brave for being so open and honest. Tell her not to be embarrassed, there is no shame in protecting her family. It is the abuser who should be ashamed.
Intellectual integrity: Defined as recognition of the need to be true to one's own thinking and to hold oneself to the same standards one expects others to meet.
And after watching that video for the first time it is clear to see your mum is someone with incredible Intellectual integrity. Cheers to your brave brave Mum.
Holy SHIT. Powerful video. Probably one of the most important ones you've ever made. Massive kudos to your mom, this is the kind of thing that has a genuinely positive impact on viewers and for that you should all be proud. I have to be honest, since watching you guys (and Jim) for the last few years I've always wondered about your Dad, mainly because he was never mentioned. Regardless of the youtube creator/viewer curiosity, I always thought it was completely none of my business and therefore got a bit annoyed when I saw other commenters asking about him because of how inappropriate I thought it was. Saying that, the curiosity remained though I think it was mainly stemming from the questions that naturally arise when vloggers let people into specific sections of their lives.This was a great was to articulate the reasons for his absence and never have to explain it again. Inspirational story. Here mum, have a hug xx
This was such a brave thing to talk about Judy. Lots of love xx
I am just in awe of how your mother managed to endure what she did with such grace. Reminds me of the quote, "Strong women: may we know them, may we raise them, may we be them."
This had me in absolute tears, it's so sad that children are going through this everyday! Your mum and many women/men out there suffering abuse are so brave and like your mum will find their way out in the end, I suffered abuse from an ex partner when I was 17 (I'm 30 now) he was mentally and physically abusive to the point where he pushed me down the stairs and caused me to miscarry our baby (blessing in disguise) I knew from that moment that it couldn't carry on so I spoke out and the more people that knew the more I found the strength to tell him to piss off out of my life! I have never seen him since and don't ever wish too, it's all still quite fresh in my mind and I'm not sure anyone can get over it but it definitely makes us stronger, sorry if some of this makes no sense, I'm tapping away on my phone through teary eyes xx love you girls xx
Good for you, sweety. It takes such courage.
What an incredible family. Lots of love to you all x
Ladies, you really do not know how much this video is appreciated...You will help more people than you know....Thank you...
Your mother is such a beautiful person and a much stronger woman because of what she went thru. What a lovely woman. Big hugs to her
it's amazing how you never know whats going in someones life and judge them by their looks. I would never be able to tell that. Its such and eye opener that we should not judge by look, you never know what they are dealing with in life and how patient and strong they are. You all are amazing people and i am so glad she finally talked about it and came to terms with it. Because they say you are not over with something until you are not able to talk about it. You all are strong strong women :)
wow i love you guys wayyyyy mooore now. Sam and Nic world needs more women like you
Your mum is SO SO brave for coming on here and talking about it, even if it so many years after and all you beautiful children have grown up, it would still sting to talk about something like this. I personally admire her and your family for bringing this difficult topic up to the forefront, it should be talked about more often because this would NEVER be ok. xx
Your mum is so beautiful!
It made me chuckle a little when Nic was describing the atmosphere and how it was strange going to someone elses house where people got on. I suppose it just reassured me that I'm not the only one. Thank you for filming this! Unfortunately I'm still in the situation but your story helped me cope
I really hope you find a way out of it soon. I do not know your story and it woud be rude to tell someone what do to with their life. But i know this sort of thing is unacceptable under amy circumstances. I will pray for you every night. Wish you all the best celine. Pls find the courage to seek for help.
I hope you find your way out very soon. Stay strong x
Celine760, I hope your situation will change soon. Be strong!
Dear, take this story to strengthen you to change your circumstances.
No matter what, nobody deserves to live with fear and/or being unhappy.
I truly do have the utmost respect for both of you and particularly your amazing mother. What a strong and beautiful lady she is 🙌🏼💜
Thanks so much.Xx
I watched this Video today because Jim told "me" too. I have no clue this happened in your life, your childhood robbed because of this horrible man. I cried watching this, you're all so brave. Your mum, Judy I think, is brave and not to say a bad word about him to you guys is just amazing. I can't believe your family went through that and you still smile and act like nothing happened which I absolutely adore.
This video took me by surprise. Your honesty and bravery is remarkable, and I'm sure there's someone watching you out there who will see this and maybe take the first step (or another in a long way) towards running away, or healing from past wounds.
You darling girls and your beautiful mom. I'm in my early 50's now and my mother was in an abusive marriage for about 15 years. When you spoke of the tension running through your household, your journey through that time in your lives, it could have been my childhood you were describing. I want to thank your mom so much for giving some insight to what it was like as the adult in the abusive relationship. My mother passed away before she and I really talked about it. Who knew that you girls, a generation younger than me, your mom, a generation younger than mine, would live such similar lives. This topic is always close to my heart. Thank you, for sharing this part of your lives. It gives people knowledge and that, at the very least is what we should be doing.
Thank you so much for sharing your story, I was in DV relationship and I now work as a DV victim support worker. I have been asked to appear on BBC spotlight next week to share my story in support of '1 billion rising on the 14th feb' and I have been questioning whether or not I should do it. You've shown me that I have to share my story, that talking about our experiences is the only way we can help other women and show them that you can be emotionally, financially and physically broken but you can transform your lives :) and you girls are a credit to your mother, you have achieved so much! xxxx
This was so touching and what an amazing mom you have! She is beautiful! Thank you for sharing such a personal thing!
+Connie H Thanks so much.xx
Message to the Mum: Just to clarify You did not leave the house with nothing, you left the house with you and your children alive and mostly intact. Seeing you on their channel with them brightens my day, especially for one reason -they (at least the pixiwoo's) have all inherited the way your personality turns into a star and a smile and comes from your eyes. It was an honor to hear your story, and thankyou for telling it.
This video was so emotional but so eye opening! I love TH-camrs who do this its so amazing to see people speaking out and giving someone somewhere to start if this has happened/ happening to them. If you see this can you tell your mum I think she's super brave! And you girls too and obviously Jim and John it must of been so hard for you all. x
I'm a young woman at the age of 17, and I did not get told about this in school, I was never ever warned about abuse or domestic violence or any violence for that matter. Now I'm going off to university next year and it still amazes me how very little we are educated about serious topics such as these. I would like to thank you all for speaking out and enabling us to understand what domestic violence is and what the effects can be and that you can overcome this. I would also like to thank your mum for teaching us that no matter how hard it gets there is a way out, even when it feels impossible. You educate and inspire many younger people like me. keep it up guys
I've had to learn a lot more about this than I'd ever want to know to help a friend. Its easy to say "why don't they leave," but on top of all the financial/housing/security stuff, there are the psychological chains - and they are chains; the abused partner has effectively been under such severe stress for so long its anazing they aren't shattered, let alone capable of proactive movement. The psychological conditioning is considered capable of breaking well-trained military officers within days, yet these people have lived with and often protected children from it for years - the irony is that they think they are weak, yet they are anything but. Your mother is an amazing lady, and thank you for telling your stories. The more we all talk about this, the easier it will be for the abused to take the first, hardest step and TELL SOMEBODY. There is help and you'll never know where it can come from - if someone offers a hand, take it. Please don't ever accept this, for yourself or anyone you know.
Your mum is a really wonderful person. My mum was in an abusive relationship as well. Before I was born with my brothers' dad, and with my father. She is the strongest person I know, never spoke ill of him because I was 3 when they seperated and she wanted me to have a father because her boys didn't have one. I never liked my father and never want to see him, he mentally abused me as well, but it always baffled me that my mum was so selfless. She didn't know I was being mentally abused, and when she first heard about it, she never made me go again unless I wanted to. Mothers (like yours and mine) are the strongest, most selfless and loving people that exist. I am so grateful for mine and I can imagine how grateful you are for yours. Maybe you can make a Tuesday Chat about fathers like ours and how it affected you two. I would find it very interesting. Thanks for this video. Best of luck to you and your wonderful mother and always make sure that she knows how proud you are of her, because the scars (especially mentally) remain. Thanks again.
Oh, I forgot. Thanks to my mum, I had the guts to get out of a bad relationship as well. I never told anyone about the abuse, but when my mum saw how he beat me up (and she gave him a taste of his own medicine), I knew I wasn't alone and that I could be strong as well since I have an awesome role model. It's funny and sad at the same time how history repeats itself. Thanks to her, I had the power to break the cycle.
I just came from Jim's documentary and I want to say you guys and your mum are all so brave to talk about this. Lots of hugs and respect to you all!! xxx
I've just found this video after watching Rise of the Superstar Vloggers! What an amazing person your Mum is! My Mum is my world and I would do anything for my her and I can see that you guys have an amazing bond with your Mum and likewise would do anything for her! Nobody should have to go through what your Mum has been through! Keep doing what your doing! Definitely going to have to sit down and catch up on all of your Tuesday Chats aha!xxxx
So strong, she has brought up 4 brilliant, successful children. She should be so proud x
You guys are amazing. Your mother is a beautiful and strong woman and she was so well composed while telling her story: there is no negativity or hatred in her; she is so peaceful and strong. Your mother and you are a great example for other women going thru the similar situations in their lives and how you can still come out of it in one piece and still be happy. Thank you for sharing your story.
I grew up in a home like that, so I know exactly how it feels. I'm so proud of your Mom for leaving and making a safe place for her babies. Give her a hug from me. ;)
So incredibly brave of your mum to do this. I am really gratefull for hearing her/your story!
Lots of love!
Much love to your family, especially your mom. It takes a lot of courage to be able to have a voice after experiencing such hardships, but I'm sure that just by speaking, she has touched so many lives.
who are the 49 persons who didn't liked this video? i don't understand why they didn't like a video about an amazing woman who carried her family no matter what and who was brave enought to get over an hard situation like this. I am not concerned about domestic abuse, but i hope that it will be the beginning of a light at the end of the tunnel for anyone who is suffering and think that no one is here for them. you are not alone, be strong.
What an absolutely amazing woman. It was so brave of her to talk so openly about something so personal. So sorry you and your family had to go through those terrible times. But so happy you have all come out the other end and are happy and in a better place now. Much love xxx
You are both beautiful, inspirational women and I am happy that you could share your story with us.
My mum, my older sister and I went through a similar situation with our father. Strange enough he to this day is still in touch with our step brother (they must have favoured boys in the 80’s!), whom he once put in our house and set alight along with our step mum.
Since then, my mum has been married to my step dad for 20+ years who is the kindest, funniest man ever and they are a great team. I hope to find what they have one day x
People don't realize the emotional abuse that accompanies physical abuse, she was so right when she said she had been brainwashed. Abusers are sneaky and start off slowly and get worse, it is so hard to realize when you are in the situation. It annoys me when it is portrayed in the media as being a normal happy relationship then suddenly someone hits you, it is rarely like that.
I appreciate your mum & both of you choosing to open up about this subject. There needs to be more awareness and discussion about such topics.
I went through my share of domestic violence & I'm so glad I made it through that. I make videos on TH-cam & can't wait to cover up the scars on my face. After washing my makeup off, I look at them and always remind myself to never let anyone scar me again. It's a process to accept the fact that you were ever involved in something like that, but when you do, life gets so much better because knowing you made it and knowing you realized are stronger than you think, it's the most gratifying feeling ever! I'm so glad you posted this video, I would not have ever guessed you all went through that. Ps - your mother is a beautiful woman! Holy moly.
if you would read my comment and make suggestions, i would be very grateful. we are trying to help a young woman; i am not sure she is totally ready to leave either.
melissa cook +melissa cook in my experience, if you try to make someone leave, it will be more of a challenge to the person to try & fix the problem. I remember my best friend crying and telling me to leave, but I wasn't ready because I was denial, I was blind by 'love' ((when really, it wasn't love at all, just to fear of being alone)), we wanted to be the person to change that person, etc. So many reasons why she might not be ready to leave. You just have to keep reminding her that things will only get worse, but you can't change her mind, only she can. When she's ready, she will leave in a heartbeat. I wish we had the ability to snap our fingers & make them change their mind. Some sooner than others. Some hold on to the good memories because they don't want they go of that. But you just have to stand by your friend. In the end, they will find their strength. :j
i am so proud of her, she is getting her own place this month; getting help and working so hard. she needs so much encouraging at this point. thank you for your words of wisdom. :)
You're mum is an absolute legend and so strong! X
My dad was both physically and mentally abusive towards my mum, thankfully he is out of our life's now. Its so bizarre how much your mum reminds me of my own. Its not easy for a single parent to take complete control, risk financial insecurity and to raise a family alone especially when you have young children that dont always understand the sacrifices you have to make. I love my mum, shes my ultimate idol and i can only hope that when i raise a family i can do it with the same strength, love and guidance she has given me and my brother. thank you for posting the video!
your mum is a fighter! I truly admire her! Best wishes, love form Mexico xx
Your mom is one hell of a strong woman putting up with all she had to . Y'all have turned out to be such a tighter nit family.
Wow. I've just had a moment to watch the video and Judy immediately reminded me of my own mother's story. My mother was married for 19 years to my father and likewise... on the first instance believing she did something to anger him. Staying out of fear... not having a support system but a final incidence almost left her paralysed and a doctor explained that she must leave and leave now. That was it ...mum had a bit of money she had managed to hide which he hadn't found this time around and we flew across the country to our grandmother... all staying in the one bedroom. These women are amazing. Judy, my own and many out there are simply amazing.
I am so glad that your family opened about this terrible subject. It is an epidemic that often times is kept quiet. I am a survivor, and when your mum said his eyes glazed over, and it was like he was a different person, a cold chill went thru me. It is true, it's like they become a totally different being. Alot of other's do not understand this. Thank you, because it is a very hard subject to talk about and make other's aware of it.
Big love to your mam for overcoming all that and being strong!
She should be proud of herself, she raised to amazing daughters!! xx
I'm amazed that such a loving and beautiful family could have come out of such darkness. Every one of you is a credit to your mother and an obvious testament to her warmth and affection. My admiration for you all has increased tenfold.
pixiwoo After watching the video yesterday and sleeping on it, I feel that I would like to add this…
From the perspective of the ‘person’ who is the best friend of a victim, who day after day has to watch the abuse unfold, (frustrating and agonizing).... I knew that there was a strong person in Judy trying to escape but for all the reasons she stated, that person couldn’t get out because of all the years of brainwashing. I am a very feisty person and all I wanted to do was punch ‘him’ one, but I soon learn't that anything I said to him ended up with him taking out his hate for me on Judy. I had to tread very carefully indeed. I hated him but I never made it too obvious to him. He hated me too, but also didn't make it obvious. It was like a head on battle of strategy!
I started with trying to build Judy’s confidence to counter act his dominance over her. Over a period of time, (about a year), she then began to see for herself that his behavior was totally unacceptable. Once her confidence grew, it reached a point where SHE said ‘stop’. It had to come from her, not me. That’s when I jumped in with her and we made a ‘wall’ and we stood our ground. This was when it became a war and got really nasty because he realized he was loosing control over her, which is what it is all about.
It is not a quick process, so if you do have a friend who is suffering abuse, be patient and supportive and build on their confidence and wait until THEY are ready. Only then can you let the abuser ‘have it’. ‘Sometimes things have to get worse to get better’. Believe this…you Will be ok if you leave, it will be tough, but however tough it is, it is better than staying. Thank goodness things are easier now, there is help out there. Love xx
That is a great thing you said...Its true.
Bless you, Heidi. Thank you Sam and Nic for uploading this video and to Judy for your bravery. Judy, Sam, Nic, John and Jim are a credit to you, your love and strength. I, too am a child of an abusive home, however my parents are still together (after 48 years - God only knows why). Thank you all for posting this video. Domestic violence, despite changes in recent years, is still treated like a dirty secret. In my experience, the shame of abuse taints the victims rather than the perpetrator. It is only through the bravery of people that will openly discuss domestic abuse, that the shame and stigma associated with it will begin to wane. Thank you all again xo
You are a wonderful friend. XOXO.
God will bless you in ways you can't imagine in Heaven, Heidi. You are a blessed woman. Thank you. Like I said in my earlier comment....just ONE person can make the world of difference in abuse. I love ALL of you! I'm crying right now.....even years later from my experience. Thank God for those around us!
Thankyou Heidi. You are obviously a great friend.
I have just been through supporting someone until they were ready to leave and making sure I was there when they did. It has been difficult because I had no control and yet cared deeply about those involved. The waiting, biting my tongue, was hard. Fortunately the process of leaving is begun.
Thank you so much for sharing this incredibly important and difficult story. To all of you, Sam, Nic, Jim, Jon and most importantly Judy, lots & lots of love and respect. I am so proud of you for your courage and your strength. I cannot imagine raising 4 children on my own. I have just the one. My husband is an alcoholic and I don't want my little boy to be hurt by his father's bad choices. I only hope I can be as strong as you Judy. God bless xoxo
your mum is an incredible woman!! she deserves so much credit for you and your siblings and how well she has brought you all up!! not only for that but for being strong for herself and you !!
What an absolutely amazing lady and your family is amazing for sticking with each other and supporting one an other. That 'tight knit' family connection is something that all people should not take for granted and is hard to maintain but through love and strength and understanding you have shown people what it really takes. Thank you x
What an amazingly strong family xx
Thank you.x
I've just seen this video for the first time. It's hit home on so many different levels. I live in the house your describing, always an atmosphere can never fully relax because you don't know what mood my dad is going to be in. My mum is very much 'in it for the kids' even though me and my sister have both had our lives greatly impacted by my dad and my brother is starting to see him for the man he really is. Your mum is so right it has to be there choice you can never talk them into it. I hope one day my mum will find the strength yours has.
Very brave all 3 of you. Hats off to you. Almost a taboo subject so it's even more important to talk about so people in this situation can hopefully get help. Lots of love if anyone reading this is going through this situation. xxx
Wow your Mum is so glam and brave. What a lady ! So glad she managed to turn things around. Inspirational
Thank you.x
You're mom is amazing, not only because she was able to live through that but because she had the courage to tell her story.
I wish all the best for you three. I'm sure you just helped a lot of women that may be going through that right now.
Your father must feel like a right idiot, missing out on seeing his beautiful children flourish into amazing adults who all have hundred of thousands, going on millions of viewers all across the globe. you guys have such a strong, amazing family bonds x
Wow I had no idea about this until the documentary tonight. Think it's fantastic that you're raising awareness like this by giving your experience. Very courageous.
I sat there nodding throughout this whole video (and getting teary especially when you all did), I am a domestic violence survivor myself from my daughter's father.
It's taken me a long time to find who I really am from that.
But I knew I had to leave for my daughter's sake as my mum went through the same thing and it ruined my childhood.
I am now stronger than I ever was and wiser but sadly as Sam said there is a knock on affect from it which I still suffer for to this day.
Thank you to all of you for sharing this video, it was so brave of all of you to speak out over this issue.
Your mother is beautiful and courageous, you can see how close you all are which has helped me know that it will not destroy the bond I have with my daughter.
Love and big hugs to you all
Thanks for sharing this. It takes strength to put this on the internet for eveyone to see.
This was very touching, your mum seems like such an amazing and loving mother. And its true you all seem such a close family. I think although it must have been so hard for her to share this its definitely important- hopefully this helped anyone going through or who has been through something similar
First of all Mom looks beautiful....and she is very bave to tell that story! I lived in that time where there was no knowledge of abuse or anywhere to go for help! Domestic violence was no acknowledged and considered your own problem! Bravo to you all! And hugs too! Xoxo CAROL
Such a brave woman, beautiful and so sweet...
You're so brave for telling your story, so proud of you!
I think the reason I got a little teary in this video was because your mum is so inspiring and brave and I just can't believe she could be so brave as to let her story be there for everyone to see. It's so amazing.xx
Sam, Nic, Judy, Jim and John. Wow. You are so strong! I look up to every single one of you! This story opened my eyes a lot about Domestic Violence.
Judy. You raised four kid single! This is so strong and amazing! Now look at you. Your such a beautiful, intelligent and perfect woman.
Jim, Sam, Nic and John. You are so strong. You were four kids when your father was taken away. This is immensely strong. Look we're you all are. Jim is a TH-camr, engaged. Sam and Nic, TH-camr, kids and married. John, fitness enthusiast!
This family is amazing. I give you all luck in the future!
So brave!!!!
Also, Sam..are those Tieks shoes you're wearing?
***** They are Robyn!
They are
This could not have come at a better time. I cried this whole entire video. I was in an abusive relationship for a year and a half and just recently got away from him. This video showed me that it does get better and that you truly can turn it around for yourself. You're mother is an absolute angel, and by her sitting down and telling her story, I feel so much better and less alone. Thank you so much. really.
What an amazing Mum! Thanks for sharing girls x
It is quite obvious how you both became so amazing, strong and resilient--your Mom! I commend you all for courageously sharing your story. I think Pixiwoo is an appropriate channel to address what is largely a woman's issue. I am a regular follower and am pleasantly surprised to see you spreading your wings into other areas that affect women. Kudos! Didn't think it was possible but I respect you even more! ;)
been through it all also.. 1st with my parents then unfortunatly my relationships throughout my adult life.. its especially horrific when such things r witnessed by our children.. my son and i r also very close.. id always say to him "its me and u against the world kiddo".. there is light at the end of the tunnel.. thank u for sharin yr story x
What an inspiration 🙌strong woman💗
Ruby Savage thanks Ruby.xx
Jim's video on the 28/09/14 brought me here. On behalf of men I would like to apologise for your ex husbands actions. You are so incredibly brave for speaking out. I wish you and yours the very best for the future. Thank you.
Always good to hear good survivor stories. Go and thrive girls.... I send you love.
This was such an amazing video! I'm going through something like this at the moment, but it was because of terrible emotional abuse and blackmail.I thought it was normal to be scared of him, not be close with him, and not even be alone with him - I didn't realise it wasn't until I went on holiday with my friends and her parents. My dad was really manipulative and just destroyed my confidence completely. He did the same for my mum as well. I was always very scared of him, but one night it got so much worse - so much so that I was terrified to go home from school the day after. Turns out we didn't have to - my mum had found us a house and we moved that day. I haven't seen my Dad since 02.05.14.
The hardest part of this has been my friends. None of them have been supportive and all thought I was exaggerating because I never told them anything as it was happening. No one believed us because my mum was with him for 24 years and everyone thought they were happily married, even though my mum had to leave him in early 2000, when I was only a couple of months old. He harassed us and terrified us all, but this time my mum got a non mol. order from the start and it has been so much easier. Now there's the whole court thing about contact with him (which neither me nor my brothers want) and I'm terrified I'm going to have to see him. Hopefully I won't, and I may want to see him at some point but not yet.
He also told my older brother that he would only give him any money for uni. (which is £9000 per year), if he came to see him. Funnily enough that didn't happen.
One of the most messed up things is that he threatened suicide if mum ever left him and hinted at suicide every so often (in front of us kids - from the ages of 7, 9 and 12).
Fantasellie I'm glad that he's out of your life now- I know it must be hard, but you and your family don't have to worry any more. You are old enough that the courts will take your opinions into account. If they don't listen, fight it. My dad has always been violent and often threatens suicide- it's just a way to control people and just shows how messed up they are. Maybe try talking to your friends about it again, explain everything and if they're not supportive, I think you need some new friends- any normal person would support you. Take care x
Natasha Anne Thank you x It's nice (but sad, obviously) that someone understands what we went through. Still lots of stuff with the courts - and it's going to go on for ages - but it'll stop at some point. Hope it's been sorted out for you too xx
Looking forward to seeing more videos in this series :)
I know this is from a few weeks ago but I just wanted to say your mum is amazing and so strong!
I'm only 21 and suffered from domestic violence when I was just 16 and didn't feel brave enough to leave until a year later! It was the worst year of my life and it nearly ruined me completely but, I'm sitting writing this today in a completely different relationship with someone who couldn't treat me any better if he tried, extremely happy and studying to become a teacher..
Your mum is fantastic for coming out the other side a braver, stronger woman and rained 4 amazing children who are all extremely successful in what they do! Also, she's beautiful..
xoxox
Thank you for sharing your story. Your such a strong and beautiful woman. Your courage and strength is an inspiration.
Well done mummy chapman very heart opening xoxo