How Many Watermelons are there in Oblivion? Oblivion Is A Perfectly Balanced Game With No Exploits

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ก.ย. 2024
  • Oblivion is the fantastic open world adventure RPG which sets your character on an adventure through the imperial heartlands. But regardless of being one of the best rpg games we will be discovering how many watermelons exist in the game. There have been people who attempted to calculate how much food exists within skyrim. But this is something else. This is learning how many of an infinitely duplicating item can exist in oblivion. The watermelon is famously the strongest food in oblivion with the ability to break the physics engine. Today we are discovering that oblivion is a perfectly balanced game with no exploits well excluding the Infinite gold and item duplication.
    What you have seen here today is part of a fantastic perfectly balanced series on youtube where I go from game to game and break them with wacky exploits to gain things like unlimited gold. If you enjoyed this then be sure to check out more. The style is similar to RT game and callmekevin in parts. A large influence on this series has come from Valefisk and The Killian Experience.
    So sit back relax and enjoy this Oblivion watermelon counting challenge!
    Patreon: / spiffing
    Twitter: @thespiffingbrit
    Discord: / discord
    Title: How Many Watermelons are there in Oblivion? Oblivion Is A Perfectly Balanced Game With No Exploits
    Last elder scrolls Video: Skyrim Infinite Shout Build Is Broken - Skyrim Is A Perfectly Balanced Game With No Exploits
    #funny #montage #Skyrim

ความคิดเห็น • 2.8K

  • @german2122
    @german2122 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2097

    00:01 omg wtf is going on here

    • @DhonJoe
      @DhonJoe 4 ปีที่แล้ว +140

      @@thespiffingbrit
      Every day is a Yorkshire tea day

    • @mrappu2884
      @mrappu2884 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      @@DhonJoe YEP

    • @chronosschiron
      @chronosschiron 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      watermelonicists are gathered onthis video

    • @davidgaeled4928
      @davidgaeled4928 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      gotta love when its just one of those days you get eaten whole by watermelons

    • @Fei_PL
      @Fei_PL 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      @@thespiffingbrit You could try put some melon spawns in the air on noclip and then let them fall by turning off noclip ;) melon rain ultimate soution for worlds starvation

  • @cleanerben9636
    @cleanerben9636 4 ปีที่แล้ว +797

    Therapist: Melon man isn't real. He can't hurt you
    Spiff: Melon man is real and there is no escape!

    • @TheMuslimMan1337
      @TheMuslimMan1337 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      No recall or intervention can work in this place!

    • @richardchristie1293
      @richardchristie1293 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I was sleeping when he arrived. Then that melonic voice - I shall never forget - it said "Awaken, and like the video, or you will forever be drowning in, falling through, and grasping at my innumerable melons!"

    • @acbeaumo
      @acbeaumo 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @Jack Myhre I'm a god. How can you kill a god? What a grand and intoxicating innocence.

    • @biggie_tea
      @biggie_tea 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      "there is no door, there is only melon"

    • @Macndcheese
      @Macndcheese 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Oh no

  • @doranku
    @doranku 4 ปีที่แล้ว +627

    “Could we just deploy watermellons in the arena?"
    “Does the game lettuce?“

    • @SephirothRyu
      @SephirothRyu 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      MY CABBAGES!

    • @skyfallrao2095
      @skyfallrao2095 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      That was quite a rad-ish joke

    • @jugahsoreim7487
      @jugahsoreim7487 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      melon man vs keanu reavs and gr8 gramur

    • @Asttrum1
      @Asttrum1 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hahahaha

    • @idanchen4934
      @idanchen4934 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      nice one 👍

  • @noobkilerv2
    @noobkilerv2 4 ปีที่แล้ว +593

    I feel Spiff is secretly Sheogorath. Just the chaos and madness that follows him and these exploits are things Sheo would *absolutely* do.

    • @joheyjonsson2825
      @joheyjonsson2825 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      No cheese, though

    • @Asttrum1
      @Asttrum1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      Spiffogorath

    • @carbonbeaker409
      @carbonbeaker409 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Johey Jonsson of course, Sheo would switch it up just to drive us mortals mad.

    • @buffypython
      @buffypython 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Spiff would just use the Wabbajack to turn Jarl Balgruf into tea & honestly, I wouldn't even blame him.

    • @ObligedUniform
      @ObligedUniform 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@buffypython but knowing his random insanity. It would be the letter T rather than tea itself.

  • @Voromire1
    @Voromire1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +465

    Spiff: "Take 'The Lover' sign. It's a free paralyze"
    Also Spiff: "Oh no, I have to go get a paralyze poison."

    • @jamclone
      @jamclone 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Well, melon man is rather seductive, wouldn't you say? ;)

    • @Malenrick
      @Malenrick 3 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Okay so I wasn't going crazy

  • @SnootchieBootchies27
    @SnootchieBootchies27 4 ปีที่แล้ว +479

    The fact you can do this without a console command is hilarious.

    • @Erichards8983
      @Erichards8983 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Arrow/scroll/paintbrush glitches made oblivion what it is. Great

    • @Some_Idiot_Online
      @Some_Idiot_Online 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      yeah that game is epic i used to screw around in it for hours with all the glitches

    • @Ave_Satana666
      @Ave_Satana666 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      to bad skyrim is like the opposite of oblivion. where oblivion focused on story an lett the world be its self. skyrim's story is peiced together with quest that barely work an a good amount of the civil war story line (the main story line) was cut from the game in such a way that we get constantly reminded that the game used to be good but it's also impossible to restore. an last of all only gliches in skyrim always seem to make a quest unbeatable.

    • @Ave_Satana666
      @Ave_Satana666 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      did I mention that instead of fixing skyrim's MAIN QUEST they instead decided to used the extra ram new consoles provide on more realistic water. DID THEY EVEN REMOVE THE OUTPOSTS OR MAKE THE CAPTAIN OF THEM KILLABLE? NAH.

    • @Ave_Satana666
      @Ave_Satana666 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      its honestly sad. like if you can even play that game then you need to do more research on game design in genreal an realize supporting that is what makes developers think they can just leave games unfinished.

  • @DhonJoe
    @DhonJoe 4 ปีที่แล้ว +402

    "Do you know the melon man, do you know the melon man that want's to eat your soul?"

    • @noname-eo1he
      @noname-eo1he 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ..... funny

    • @TT-fv5ro
      @TT-fv5ro 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      This is the spiff content I miss back in the ole days

    • @aaronbasham6554
      @aaronbasham6554 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Can the melon man come back in a different game?
      I want to see him use something like this in different games.

    • @pizzafrog.2468
      @pizzafrog.2468 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Can I have your soul instead

    • @desther7975
      @desther7975 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      *wants

  • @dermathze700
    @dermathze700 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1639

    "Watermelons are native to Africa yet there is evidence of them growing in Egypt."
    Hmm...

    • @brandonferguson8570
      @brandonferguson8570 4 ปีที่แล้ว +241

      I went through the comments til i found this, i knew someone else had to notice, Egypt is 100% in Africa

    • @JonManProductions
      @JonManProductions 4 ปีที่แล้ว +123

      Clearly someone wasn't blessing the rains enough.

    • @DhonJoe
      @DhonJoe 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      @@JonManProductions
      Spiff is the rain

    • @cleanerben9636
      @cleanerben9636 4 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      @@DhonJoe we're spiffing the rains down in aaafffrriicccaaaaaaa

    • @TheSunshrine
      @TheSunshrine 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@vladimirkevin7840 I wasn't aware the Middle East was a continent.

  • @dreadpenguinlord340
    @dreadpenguinlord340 4 ปีที่แล้ว +468

    "He is your sleep-demon and you cannot escape him"
    *one moment later*
    "You are the one from my dreams"
    ...Poor Uriel Septim :(

    • @onedaynoreason2572
      @onedaynoreason2572 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Underrated

    • @Ryugetsuga
      @Ryugetsuga 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      You beat me to it. :P

    • @megacharizardxgod5298
      @megacharizardxgod5298 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      he kinda reminded me of the teenage mutant ninja turtles LOL

    • @jamclone
      @jamclone 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@megacharizardxgod5298 What kind of nightmarish teenage mutant ninja turtles have you watched??

    • @korbetthein3072
      @korbetthein3072 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The old live action ones.

  • @sloth0708
    @sloth0708 4 ปีที่แล้ว +323

    7:03 "This game however, if you can see it you can go over there"
    Well with Morrowind's draw distance you could argue the same thing

    • @Astraeus..
      @Astraeus.. 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Yes but in Morrowind you really have no choice but to go to the places you can see, otherwise you'd never move more than 5 feet :/

    • @sloth0708
      @sloth0708 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@Astraeus.. oh I know
      I'm only joking, the draw distance is a harder boss fight than Dagoth Ur

    • @lXlDarKSuoLlXl
      @lXlDarKSuoLlXl 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@sloth0708 you meant 100 cliff racers xd

    • @cakeeatingpirate
      @cakeeatingpirate 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@sloth0708 I forgot how bad the draw distance was, I use the graphics extender purely to fix the resolution and the draw distance was just something they also fixed

    • @neoqwerty
      @neoqwerty 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Astraeus.. Given how slow you move when you start off, it's faster to go to the places you DON'T see (seriously WHY is sidestepping so much faster, is it just me??? did I make my dark elf wrong???)

  • @thearchitect5405
    @thearchitect5405 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    Tbh, I'm most impressed by the guy who went, counted, and listed every single food item in Oblivion.

  • @kursedboi9537
    @kursedboi9537 4 ปีที่แล้ว +869

    I have the strangest feeling that spiff is one of the stock photos that he uses edit: ps if spiff sees this i just want to say thank you for the inspiration i started streaming after watching you and you really pushed me into doing it after seeing how much fun you have. I love you. Good bye.

    • @catboygremlin
      @catboygremlin 4 ปีที่แล้ว +86

      He's already dropped a hint that he snuck himself into a stock photo at one point or another.
      However, if you want a surefire way to see him, the yogscast streams seem to regularly show everyone's faces.

    • @count_dcinamon
      @count_dcinamon 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      i know how he looked like but have not seen him in any of the newer vids. dont know if he ever done that in the older one or not

    • @ambidexter2017
      @ambidexter2017 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@count_dcinamon The plot thickens!

    • @SagaciousDjinn
      @SagaciousDjinn 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      This is a more valuable conspiracy then the flat earth stuff floating around.

    • @LemuelCarranza
      @LemuelCarranza 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      The guy in the white shirt

  • @Ludicollision
    @Ludicollision 4 ปีที่แล้ว +196

    Patrick Stewart: tries to speak
    Spiff: "Yes yes everyone knows this thankyou Sean Bean!"

    • @anthonykeen2017
      @anthonykeen2017 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      I found this extremely upsetting

    • @flufflebut8781
      @flufflebut8781 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      I think Spiff assumed it was Sean Bean cause the character is promptly murdered.

    • @skeetsmcgrew3282
      @skeetsmcgrew3282 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I think Sean Bean is the king guy, uh Septum or whatever. The one that turns into the statue at the end

    • @skeetsmcgrew3282
      @skeetsmcgrew3282 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@iLoveBuckets69 Lol nice name. A trusted source indeed

    • @Karagianis
      @Karagianis 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      TBH it can be hard connecting Patrick Stewart to a character that isn't bald! :D

  • @NWolfsson
    @NWolfsson 4 ปีที่แล้ว +233

    "There are only 68 Cheese Wheels"
    Sheogorath: *Sad Sheogorath noises*
    Also, we were *this* close to greatness.

    • @greendesigner
      @greendesigner 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Just dupe em with scrolls

    • @AnMComm
      @AnMComm 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      You don't understand, Sheogorath stole all the remaining cheese so we keep seeing this precipice maddening us for perfection never will be achieved

    • @NWolfsson
      @NWolfsson 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@AnMComm That makes a lot of sense, I will not doubt our Mad Prince again, I promise!

    • @TechnoMinarchist
      @TechnoMinarchist 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@AnMComm But in Oblivion we are Sheogorath

    • @AnMComm
      @AnMComm 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@TechnoMinarchist Not all the time. We still have our predecessor who had his fun projects.

  • @kakashijr193
    @kakashijr193 4 ปีที่แล้ว +106

    "Thank you, Sean Bean."
    Did a true Brit just skip Sir Patrick's monologue?
    *politely sets tea cup down.

  • @jw-k5663
    @jw-k5663 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    The nose being directly connected to the brain is what allows him to sniff out melons wherever they be

  • @PhantomSavage
    @PhantomSavage 4 ปีที่แล้ว +231

    Melon Man's voice is exactly as terrifying as I imagined it.

  • @midas2092
    @midas2092 4 ปีที่แล้ว +130

    "How many melons are too many melons?"
    -Spiffing Brit, not accounting for odd numbers of melons

    • @hellspawn4083
      @hellspawn4083 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I like your profile picture MIDAS, it would be funny if that hand was the dislike hand, though being how TH-cam's rules are I doubt that would ever happen.

    • @deivisony
      @deivisony 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@hellspawn4083 -This was not a happy day for the hell spawn

    • @veseque
      @veseque 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      yes

  • @benjaminlocks
    @benjaminlocks 4 ปีที่แล้ว +137

    ABSOLUTELY MAJESTIC!
    (Also Sean Bean is Martin - the intro is Patrick Stewart!)

    • @br4054
      @br4054 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      They’re both from those funny little European islands known as the British isles. They’re close enough.

    • @ltcortez
      @ltcortez 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      *Sir Patrick Stewart

  • @martyredwolf7549
    @martyredwolf7549 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    I do enjoy how the assassin, before killing the Emperor, saw a scene of him and a melon man, eyes locked, gazing into each other with smiles ear to ear. The assassin then stood still for a second and looked back and forth at the two in front him in confusion before snapping out of it and finally completing his mission. He will likely never forget what he saw that day, and the guilt of interrupting that romantic moment will haunt the assassin forever.

  • @Dreadneight
    @Dreadneight 2 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    I could watch Spiff make Oblivion characters for literal days on end without ever wanting to stop

  • @BerserkxELF943
    @BerserkxELF943 4 ปีที่แล้ว +75

    Spiff- "The history of the watermelon in elder scrolls..."
    Me - grabs tea

  • @IcicleFerret
    @IcicleFerret 4 ปีที่แล้ว +118

    "Does the game lettuce?" No, but it does watermelon!

  • @ame6547
    @ame6547 4 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    "you can leave the arena now"
    "I cannot"
    "...why..."
    "cause... melons..."
    "... Why..."

  • @FistyMcBeefPunch
    @FistyMcBeefPunch 2 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    My favorite thing to duplicate with the scroll glitch was always the dark brotherhood disappearing arrows. The perfect murder...

    • @Cybetrexs
      @Cybetrexs ปีที่แล้ว +5

      The sithis rose, whatever its called? I didn’t realize it worked outside of the quest its for.

  • @GuardianNamick
    @GuardianNamick ปีที่แล้ว +3

    You know what's funny, I actually did this exploit the other day and for some reason was completely surprised when it worked.
    I also quickly realized that any more than 500 melons being duped at a time would crash the game, however 1000 potions were fine.
    I also found that filling a room with melons is an amazing way to level your sneak due to the NPC's not being able to see you, due to the melons.

  • @RiftFishing
    @RiftFishing 4 ปีที่แล้ว +183

    My new Orc Headcanon is that they evolved from melons to fight back against the ever rising Vegan population.
    All hail melon race.

    • @calicosiside
      @calicosiside 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      not too far from the warhammer canon where orks are fungi

    • @Bruh-hq1hx
      @Bruh-hq1hx 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@calicosiside my question is can i eat a growing orc fungus could I get a orc growing in my body like a parasite

    • @ernestoa.jimenez3206
      @ernestoa.jimenez3206 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Actually I think you are referring to the Bosmer, hehe. One anti-vegetarian race should be enough.

  • @elwynn9931
    @elwynn9931 4 ปีที่แล้ว +120

    “I am not Toph, I am Melon Lord! Muahahahaha!!!”

    • @davidthomas5655
      @davidthomas5655 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Looking for this one

    • @DarkChaos751
      @DarkChaos751 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I was thinking that the whole time, why hasn't he used the name Melon Lord?

    • @rafayali7283
      @rafayali7283 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Perfection.

    • @Nithor666
      @Nithor666 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      The internet thanks you

  • @vaporhtrail4350
    @vaporhtrail4350 4 ปีที่แล้ว +46

    Guard: STOP! You violated the law- *muffled noises*
    Spiff: *Spawns more watermelons* More... *Spawns even more* MORE!

  • @Lexandro92
    @Lexandro92 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you Spiffing Brit!
    I've been through some very dark times these last couple of years.
    I used to drink a lot of tea, I had to go to the bathroom every 2 hours I was drinking so much. But due to stress at work I was cutting my tea sessions shorter and shorter and replaced it with quick and uneventful coffee breaks.
    After a while I was only drinking tea when I was at home.
    And than came the dark time, when coffee, the devil's liquid, slowly but surely replaced tea completely.
    But after watching your videos, I've been starting to drink tea again. And it is lovely.
    You are an inspiration!
    Thank You!

  • @goldenredstone04
    @goldenredstone04 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    "What have you done Melon Man, what have you done?!
    You have turned an innocent individual into melons!
    There is nothing left, only melons.
    Oh wait, there's a leg."
    I love this channel

  • @tmntleo
    @tmntleo 4 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    "How many melons is too many melons?" Trick question, there can never be too many melons.

    • @FireballZora
      @FireballZora 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      don't do this, you're falling for his evil scheme

  • @jakefrost7404
    @jakefrost7404 4 ปีที่แล้ว +262

    *_That isn't Sean Bean, it's Patrick Stewart doing his best Sean Bean impression - _**_0:55_*

    • @melonman6522
      @melonman6522 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      I got angrier than I should have when he thanked Sean Beane, there was no reason for it, it's not a big deal. I just did.

    • @Ektalon
      @Ektalon 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Justin Carson I’m not sure if it was a mistake, or SB taking the piss . . .

    • @Permaclok
      @Permaclok 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Sean Bean actually voices Martin Septim, Uriel's last heir

    • @harbingerdawn
      @harbingerdawn 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@melonman6522 I assumed he was just trolling, there's no way he doesn't know it's Patrick Stewart.

    • @braeduin
      @braeduin 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      That's just how good Sir Patrick Stewart is at acting - his Sean Bean was flawless.

  • @momby557
    @momby557 4 ปีที่แล้ว +381

    Three words that nobody wants to hear:
    "Deploy the watermelons"

    • @ninjacrafter5732
      @ninjacrafter5732 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      this needs way more likes

    • @deivisony
      @deivisony 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Water and melons counts as different words right?

    • @SkyMikasu
      @SkyMikasu 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@deivisony no🤣

    • @katsu6934
      @katsu6934 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Deivison Carvalho no it’s a conjunction crap I haven’t done English in a while I think that was the right word

  • @0_dearghealach_083
    @0_dearghealach_083 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Well, I have never played Oblivion a day in my life, but after watching this, good sir, I wish to play it!

  • @anthonydelfino6171
    @anthonydelfino6171 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    Sheogorath approves of this play strategy.

  • @FEARSWTOR
    @FEARSWTOR 4 ปีที่แล้ว +56

    "CHEESE FOR EVERYONE!!!!"
    "Your Craziness, we're out of cheese..."
    "WHAT?? Well what *DO* we have???"
    "Watermelons."
    "THEN OUR DUTY IS CLEAR!!!"

  • @FireDragons42
    @FireDragons42 4 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    "How many melons is too many melons?"
    The answer is that there are too many melons when the number of melons you have results in their mass being contained within the Schwarzchild radius for the mass of melons that you have. The reason for this is, that at that point you would now have a black hole, entirely formed by melons (which is great) but that makes it so that the melons are no longer melons.
    So in short, you have too many melons when the number of melons you have makes it so you have no melons anymore.

    • @HurricaneBlade1
      @HurricaneBlade1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I like this answer. Very scientific...
      ... but what if the objective is a Watermelon Black Hole?

    • @dervadveirzundluni
      @dervadveirzundluni 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Soo there is no amount of melons that are too many?

    • @dervadveirzundluni
      @dervadveirzundluni 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      William Smith melony hole of oblivion

    • @Markus-zb5zd
      @Markus-zb5zd 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I think the melons are demelonizing way before they become a black hole.

    • @weare2iq376
      @weare2iq376 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Are you suggesting that the center of a black hole is in fact not made out of melon? I want proof.

  • @legalpenguin430
    @legalpenguin430 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    the spriffing brit also known as “you can’t stop me bethesda, your game is already mine”

  • @daggeranddoctor
    @daggeranddoctor 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Spiff in character creation: I’ll just make this monstrosity.
    Me: That thing can’t breathe.

  • @shrouded_bullet8335
    @shrouded_bullet8335 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    The guards stood tall, sentinels of security. Watching over their home. Peace. Until they heard it. They heard HIM. “Hello, everybody…” and then they knew. They were no longer safe. Their wives. Their children. They would all perish, under the tide of melons.

  • @charmedrools1
    @charmedrools1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +89

    "we need to create melon man"
    *flashback to the last unis annus episode*
    "THIS IS MY MAN AND THIS IS MY MELON! thank you... for your sacrifice... melonman..."
    NOPE NOPE NOPE

    • @Zachdeadpool
      @Zachdeadpool 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I like unus arse

    • @charmedrools1
      @charmedrools1 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Zachdeadpool annus. it's latin for year. one year.

    • @NWolfsson
      @NWolfsson 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      We need a thicc lady to protect us from Melon Man

  • @Laydralae_Joy
    @Laydralae_Joy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +74

    When the entire universe has been replaced with melons, every star, planet, and speck of dust a melon, with melon people living in melon cities driving melon cars, when there is nothing but green with a red center, then we shall have enough melons...
    but only barely.

    • @datzfatz2368
      @datzfatz2368 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      More Dakka.. i mean Melon.

  • @Stix69
    @Stix69 4 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    4:48 "a rusty apple" yes my favorite fruit

    • @FroggyMosh
      @FroggyMosh 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes, you see, the 100 year peeled apple is quite the delicacy among our people.

  • @sharkfilet
    @sharkfilet 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    “Is this Mellon hell?”
    -2020’s quote of the year

    • @midasfury6165
      @midasfury6165 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      21:20
      I died inside when this was said

    • @NullElemental
      @NullElemental 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      well it aint Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness or Millencolin

    • @enclaveleader1789
      @enclaveleader1789 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Lettuce feast upon the water melon god

  • @von1539
    @von1539 4 ปีที่แล้ว +166

    "The watermelon grows in Africa as well as Egypt"
    Hmmm

    • @ThatChemistOld
      @ThatChemistOld 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      smh

    • @jasonscarborough94
      @jasonscarborough94 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Today we learned Egypt isn't part of Africa. Who knew?

    • @goolabbolshevish1t651
      @goolabbolshevish1t651 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@jasonscarborough94 well if you follow the genetic studies that have been done on the pharos they and the upper castes were actually more middle eastern then sub Saharan black.
      The later ones even more so, they even had a number of European traits because they interacted with Greece and rome. (Namely marrying off people for alliances or having kids with 'concubines' imported from far off.

    • @letsspecialk1708
      @letsspecialk1708 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Technically it is part of Africa and Asia. The main portion of Egypt is Africa while the Sinai is part of Asia. But I was equally confused when I heard spiff say that. I’m with you Jason

    • @BiFurDoggy
      @BiFurDoggy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@goolabbolshevish1t651 this was about geography mate

  • @Trainedmist39
    @Trainedmist39 4 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    "Melon man is real, and you can not get away from him."
    Five year olds have left the chat.

  • @FlameDarkfire
    @FlameDarkfire 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    “It’s watermelon punishment time.” That and the smiling man in the blue shirt was absolutely terrifying.

  • @Dylanquinn666
    @Dylanquinn666 4 ปีที่แล้ว +201

    Fun Fact: Todd Howard's house is just packed to the ceiling with melons.

    • @williamvonbaskerville8275
      @williamvonbaskerville8275 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Nah, it's actually packed with all the flawless versions of Bethesda games he's hiding from the public... And mirrors for his inflated ego ;)

    • @ECxTheMaster
      @ECxTheMaster 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@williamvonbaskerville8275 plot twist! its another skyrim release XD

    • @cpt-cheese3489
      @cpt-cheese3489 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      William von Baskerville his ego isn’t inflated that man is great

    • @greenkoopa
      @greenkoopa 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ECxTheMaster coming soon to the Sega 32x!

    • @springtrapnibba
      @springtrapnibba 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@cpt-cheese3489 I've actually never seen Todd act better than anyone imo he's pretty humble

  • @KilledWithStyle
    @KilledWithStyle 4 ปีที่แล้ว +61

    This video:
    Oblivion: Leave the arena.
    Spiff: Well, I can't. I'm breaking the game.
    Oblivion: Alright, hurry up then leave the arena.
    Spiff: I can't leave.
    Oblivion: What do you mean you can't leave?
    Spiff: I can't find the door. There's only melon. ( 21:36 )
    Oblivion: Whaddya mean "there's only melon"?
    Spiff: It mean there's only melon.
    Oblivion: Well pick up the melons!
    Spiff: Alright, you don't have to shout at me (picks up some melons) There's more melons!
    Oblivion: Whaddya mean "there's more melons"?!
    Spiff: There's just more melons!
    Oblivion: Just move the melons out of the way!
    Spiff: There's still melons!
    Oblivion: Where are you right now?!
    Spiff: I'm at melon!
    Oblivion: WHADDYA MEAN YOU'RE "AT MELON"!?
    Spiff: I MEAN I'M AT MELON!
    Oblivion: WHAT ARENA ARE YOU IN?!
    Spiff: I'M IN THE ARENA FILLED WITH DUPLICATED MELONS!!
    Oblivion: WHY ARE YOU DUPLICATING MELONS IN THE ARENA?!
    Spiff: FUCK YOU!!

    • @katsu6934
      @katsu6934 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      KilledWithStyle PERFECTION 😂😂😂🙃🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @sloth0708
    @sloth0708 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    5:20 In all my years playing Oblivion I have never seen Baurus air-cancel an assassin, holy shit.

    • @Alizudo
      @Alizudo 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      His corpse landed on top of the stone column, too

    • @innocyte_
      @innocyte_ 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      My jaw dropped after seeing that

    • @armandpeanutspinou3430
      @armandpeanutspinou3430 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Me neither, I thought it was the result of some mod

  • @joannaatkins822
    @joannaatkins822 4 ปีที่แล้ว +49

    It's Melon Man, he's here to haunt yours, and Uriel Septims, dreams

  • @dingdongbells3314
    @dingdongbells3314 4 ปีที่แล้ว +104

    "I can't find them"
    "What do you mean you can't find them?"
    "I can't find them, there's only Melons"
    "What do you mean there's only Melons?"
    "It means there's only melons"
    "Then get outta the Melon aisle"
    ...
    "There's more melons"
    "What do you MEAN there's more melons?"
    "There's just more melons!"
    "GO INTO THE NEXT AISLE!"
    ...
    "There's still Melons"
    "Where ARE you right now!?"
    "I'm AT MELONS"
    "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE AT MELONS-"
    "I'M AT WATERMELONS!"
    "WHAT STORE ARE YOU IN-"
    "I'M AT THE WATERMELON STORE!"
    "WHY ARE YOU BUYING DAEDRIC ARMOR AT THE MELON STORE-"
    It's almost exactly that conversation, except it's in the Imperial Arena

    • @pyromasteralex
      @pyromasteralex 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Code geass abdridged - soup store
      If anyone reading this is interested in the reference.

    • @jackychang9148
      @jackychang9148 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@pyromasteralex Damn. You beat me to it. Good job.

    • @Taolan8472
      @Taolan8472 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Pruld's parody of this in dark souls is probably my favorite version of it.

  • @michaelszilagyi4529
    @michaelszilagyi4529 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Toph: "I am melon lord! Muwahahaha!"
    Spiff: "you dare challenge me"

  • @xTGRxREAPER
    @xTGRxREAPER 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Spiff there was also a glitch with the bow and arrow that would let you keep the stats of rings and armors you dropped while having them equipped.

  • @yesok791
    @yesok791 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    So who’s gonna tell him he looks like the Chinese knockoff Shrek more than a melon?

  • @roberthalstead5545
    @roberthalstead5545 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    I swear, between Tod Howard's character creator and Spiff's hand, they need to collaborate with the SCP Foundation to create new horrifying monsters to haunt humanity's nightmares. Another great vid though Spiff, as always.

    • @SeedlingNL
      @SeedlingNL 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      You mean, like SCP-3521?

    • @spooknuggets
      @spooknuggets 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      SCP-M3L0N

  • @MaGNaCET33
    @MaGNaCET33 4 ปีที่แล้ว +53

    YES! Another Elderscrolls video!
    Let me get my tea ready

    • @DhonJoe
      @DhonJoe 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@thespiffingbrit wombo combo!

    • @calebbertin4683
      @calebbertin4683 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Ah yes it better be Yorkshire tea gold

  • @afhildlaani8321
    @afhildlaani8321 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Melon man, take me by the hand, lead me to the land where the melons understand, ooohhh Melon man, the voyage to the corner of the melon is a real trip
    Melon man, the crust of a tan man imbibed by the melon land
    Soaking up the blood thirst of man in melon land.

  • @Numba1indahood
    @Numba1indahood 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    God, I remember when I was younger and learned how to duplicate items. I went south of Imperial City into that body of water, i then proceeded to duplicate bread, successfully making a small island of bread.

  • @QuintonMurdock
    @QuintonMurdock 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Never in my life did I think I would watch a video on MELON LAUNDERING

  • @Nimbus3690
    @Nimbus3690 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    this is the most insane goofballery I've ever witnessed. This is like when a kid reenacts ridiculous scenarios from tv with his action figures. But the commitment here is too devout for words.

  • @peterzerfass4609
    @peterzerfass4609 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    The moment when you're actually sorry for the physics engine.

    • @goolabbolshevish1t651
      @goolabbolshevish1t651 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Until you remember reading posts on the nexus where mod authors describe it as the most lazy crap ever thrown together by a bunch of chimpanzees with duck tape and then remember working on it yourself too.

    • @TheStargov
      @TheStargov 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@goolabbolshevish1t651 Sums up Bethesda nicely.

  • @Forgotten_A.I.
    @Forgotten_A.I. 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you Spiffing Brit, any time I'm having a bad day, all I have to do is watch one of your videos and everything is better.

  • @yaboijack2064
    @yaboijack2064 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    How many melons is too many melons?
    This is a trick question, for there is no limited amount of melons. Melons are infinite. Melons are eternal.

  • @Triskitty
    @Triskitty 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    "It's splitting... Just like the atom" LOL

  • @noisegrrrl
    @noisegrrrl 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    "They just keep coming and they don't stop coming" thanks now i have all star stuck in my head

  • @axeldornelles5292
    @axeldornelles5292 4 ปีที่แล้ว +104

    "Watermelons come from Africa, but were also in Egypt"
    Buddy, you do know Egypt is in the African continent, don't you?

    • @richardchristie1293
      @richardchristie1293 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Oh dear, here we go again, technicalities my dear boy. In any case, I'm sure they are different colonies, and hardly the greatest of tea producers, so really of very little interest.
      Though, I should say, props to you Rooibos fellows. A fine cup you have there.

    • @Schilani
      @Schilani 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      He uh... is the Brit.

    • @axeldornelles5292
      @axeldornelles5292 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@richardchristie1293 Actually Egypt is pretty fanatical about tea too. The Egyptian people drink tea pretty much all the time... even more so than the brits.
      In fact, if it wasn't for Egypt the very history of western tea cultures would be very different.

    • @usern4metak3ns
      @usern4metak3ns 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@richardchristie1293 that's the oddest bit of closet racism I've seen in a while. Mmm k...

    • @AyleidCraft
      @AyleidCraft 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@usern4metak3ns how is that racist ya dunce

  • @sarttan
    @sarttan 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    In case Spif comes back to this game, another spot you can speed up your sneak power leveling is by sneaking around in the jail cell you start in. You can also power level any magic skill by creating a cheap spell that targets self (Ex: Drain stamina to level Destruction.). Finally, it is possible to make a "Bound Equipment" spell item both permanent and equipable by NPC followers by using a repair hammer on it and dropping it.

  • @th1rtythr334
    @th1rtythr334 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Imagine going to a battle arena, going up against what looks like a cross between a human, pug and a melon, he draws his bow, and then thousands upon thousands of melons fill the arena

  • @user-dx8nj7qj2g
    @user-dx8nj7qj2g 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    5:20 wait, wait why does the "lover" get a spell to paralyze people? that sounds rather illegal

    • @iancasleton1777
      @iancasleton1777 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Wow, I never realized that.... but I guess it's also based on the saying "I'm a lover not a fighter"

  • @eduardojuste
    @eduardojuste 4 ปีที่แล้ว +130

    Q: How Many Watermelons are there in Oblivion?
    A: Yes.

    • @veseque
      @veseque 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      yes

    • @FroggyMosh
      @FroggyMosh 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Oblivion: *Dunk

  • @PlebCentre
    @PlebCentre 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    3:10 "there are eyes inside his head"
    *By the gods Laurence fear it,*
    *Fear the Old Blood*

    • @lordcommissar7813
      @lordcommissar7813 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Beast all over the shop...
      You'll be one of them...
      Sooner or later

    • @PlebCentre
      @PlebCentre 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@lordcommissar7813 what are you doing?
      *A H O O N T A M U S T H O O N T*
      *emerges from fetus*

  • @anubis63000jd
    @anubis63000jd 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Can't he just use the "Lovers" paralyze spell... Thought that was where the whole
    "It's the best" bit was going.

  • @aw1ldbran1mal59
    @aw1ldbran1mal59 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    My greatest achievement in this game was wiping out every guard I found, everywhere, and collecting their area specific armors and shields. And those wonderful pieces couldnt just be stashed away in a container, so I dropped every single one in the basement of skingrad house. Keep in mind, this is on a 360. When I entered the door, the frame rate dropped to 1 every few seconds. Seriously, you push forward and after a few moments, you're halfway down the stairs. Attempt to turn your view, a few seconds later the screen is overloaded with shiny metal and a rainbow of hold colors. Walk around in super slow-mo amongst the pile, the sounds of all the equipment you walked through happen all at once when the frame refreshes, like a car wreck occurring in your very own basement. The armor appears to be flying around to give some visuals to the accident.

  • @weastie87
    @weastie87 4 ปีที่แล้ว +95

    Oh my, am I early to a Spiff video? *sips yorkshire gold*

    • @cherrycoyote55
      @cherrycoyote55 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Nope, it just started! *Sips yorkshire platinum*

    • @calebbertin4683
      @calebbertin4683 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Sips Yorkshire tea gold with malicious intent

  • @AngelRaivan8579-xh4fr
    @AngelRaivan8579-xh4fr 4 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    Is nothing sacred?
    Spiff: Tea and the Queen. Everything else is free game.

  • @rjgraylight
    @rjgraylight 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    (Sung to the tune of Muffin Man)
    Do you know the Melon man?
    The Melon man?
    The Melon man. Do you know the Melon man who lives on Dorian Lane?
    Yes I know the Melon man.
    The Melon man?
    The Melon man. Yes I know the Melon man who lives on Dorian Lane.
    Let's all go to the Melon man!
    The Melon man?
    The Melon man! Let's all go to the Melon man who lives on Dorian Lane!
    (Otherwise, he'll come haunt our dreams, and devour our souls as we slowly but surely get transformed into melons!)
    Come on! Let's go!
    Let's all go to the Melon man! The Melon man! The Melon man!
    Let's all go to the Melon man to save our souls from the Meloning!
    ;)

  • @leester8687
    @leester8687 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Bro I fell asleep while watching this and had a nightmare about melons

    • @michelemann671
      @michelemann671 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Too many melons is not enough MELONS!!!

  • @racheljohnson9480
    @racheljohnson9480 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Well, as a woman, I'd say two melons is the perfect amount of melons.

  • @gerhardvanniekerk3759
    @gerhardvanniekerk3759 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    For the love of everything tea. Can we please get a video from Spiff co on the perfect balance of sid meier's civilization beyond earth.

    • @TheTruepanther
      @TheTruepanther 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Haha, just playing the game normally is unbalanced.

  • @maddoxXL101
    @maddoxXL101 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    So.... how mad you think the Queens gonna be when she finds out he called the honorable Sir Patrick Stewart, Sean Bean(also fantastic actor)

  • @BennyLlama
    @BennyLlama 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    I accidentally spawned enough shields in my market district that I literally broke it. My Xbox could never load it again.

    • @Fire-Manz
      @Fire-Manz 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Xbox; help me! ....

    • @TuffMelon
      @TuffMelon 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Oh yeah, the engine + the 360s old hardware definitely didn't like spawning too much stuff at once. Especially since it all collides with itself immediately after being spawned.

    • @itzshankr1514
      @itzshankr1514 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Oh I know this feeling. I duplicated over 2000 scrolls before. My xbox handled it but it took ages to pick all of them up because of the lag.

    • @stufhnimeanstuff1702
      @stufhnimeanstuff1702 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@TuffMelon wow intelligence

  • @pingascolada
    @pingascolada 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    "We can also pick up any other ones that tickle our pickle"
    *purchases Shocking Touch*
    Oh my.

  • @petrifiedsuezo4202
    @petrifiedsuezo4202 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I love how this was the video that introduced me to spiff I also can't believe that I've been watching for two years

  • @raphtehbigboss9701
    @raphtehbigboss9701 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I took a stop from staying idle in the future livestream chat to watch this lovely video. As always, Perfect content.

  • @Nanolis
    @Nanolis 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    21:22 Well of course it only took one shock spell, they were standing in water(melon).

  • @PnCIa
    @PnCIa 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is why i love Bethesda games. Not because of the "bugs" that make such a thing even possible, but because you can spawn hundreds or even thousands of physically simulated melons and the game just keeps going, they are all just being simulated like its nothing.

  • @maxpayne3223
    @maxpayne3223 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Imagine being at the arena your watching a fight after a long day then outta nowhere the arena becomes a sea of watermelons.

  • @Makem12
    @Makem12 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    When I heard melon man, I was scared that he was going to choose a redguard

  • @tungstentrain1956
    @tungstentrain1956 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    "he kind of looks like a green loaf of bread at the moment, but I'm sure he'll become more of a melon over time"
    Spiff 2020

  • @betterert
    @betterert 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    bethesda: nooo you cant just have infinite watermelons!
    thespiffingbrit: hehe duplication go brrr

  • @lazycalf8150
    @lazycalf8150 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    "Lovely stuff, i do love going to jail,"
    -The Spiffing Brit, 2020.

  • @stephenbell5190
    @stephenbell5190 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    SpiffingBritt: Not really sure how it works but it just works.
    Tod Howard: Thats my boy.

  • @ShaneGillislover
    @ShaneGillislover 4 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    Liquid Paper Fact: Bette Claire Graham invented liquid paper.

    • @boscomonforte993
      @boscomonforte993 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Didn't you just posted that in the new RT video

    • @ShaneGillislover
      @ShaneGillislover 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Bosco Monforte Yep

    • @lowkey_Ioki
      @lowkey_Ioki 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Is liquid paper just like... tree juice?

    • @DhonJoe
      @DhonJoe 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@lowkey_Ioki tree coom

    • @ShaneGillislover
      @ShaneGillislover 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      lowkey loki No it’s like a type of whiteout

  • @dannynguyen9590
    @dannynguyen9590 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Elder Scrolls: Oblivmelon

  • @The_Huggable_Cactus
    @The_Huggable_Cactus 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Listening to The Spiffing Brit on 2 times speed

    • @spiderz5145
      @spiderz5145 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Sounds like the computer developed a conscience and began using psychological warfare on me 😆.

  • @Human_Decoy
    @Human_Decoy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Too many melons is when you no longer have space for tea

  • @thomasmaska311
    @thomasmaska311 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Pro tip: when you spawn (2) melons with 600 scrolls, it will make 300 sets of 2 melons. also: so long as you have less items than scrolls, it will always duplicate

  • @FaceMaster420
    @FaceMaster420 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I get a sick sense of satisfaction by drinking my iced sweet tea when the Brit tells me to grab a cuppa.