Compassion is the brahmavihāra that I struggle with the least. I view myself as a compassionate person almost to a fault. Sympathetic joy is probably the one that I struggle with the most because of how competitive I am. If I see a successful person I'm not necessarily jealous of them, but I'm not always happy for them either. I want to become as good as them and I often compare myself to people who are more successful than I am and people who are more talented than I am. Even while watching your videos I often compare myself to you saying to myself "He's so knowledgeable and articulate. I wish I had that skill." I am genuinely happy for you though so that was probably a bad example but you know what I'm getting at. I'm looking forward to your next video on equanimity. In the past I've said that I don't want to be equanimous, but as I'm getting older and wiser I'm starting to realize that being equanimous is extremely important. That's also something that I have to work on, but sympathetic joy is definitely the one that I struggle with the most.
Thanks for that Afanasi. Yeah, we all have those aspects that we struggle with, and so we have to tailor our practice to those struggles. (I actually struggle more with compassion than sympathetic joy. Go figure). Sometimes that might mean practicing more with the hard stuff, and other times it might mean leaving the hard stuff until later when we're in the right frame of mind for it. But even being aware of what gives us difficulty is a great success already, so pat yourself on the back for that. Then consider how to put a practice of sympathetic joy into your life. 😀
Hi Doug, For sure mundane happiness, in and of itself, is not universally good thing, in fact it can be an expression of greed, hatred and delusion which cannot be held to be true happiness - which causes no harm to oneself or others - and as such cannot be rejoiced in, and must be regarded with compassion and equanimity. My limited understanding of sympathetic joy involves a distinction between the mundane and the noble. Mundane sympathetic joy is an antidote to ill will arising from ego clinging arising from the delusion of a fixed self-comparing itself to an other. Noble sympathetic joy is rejoicing in those who have found and are practising the Buddha dharma without judgement of others. Thanks as ever for your time and effort, deeply appreciated. May all beings liberate themselves from the burden of unnecessary suffering.
Concerning Buddhaghosa's practice, I found out that to start with children is very easy. Children smile and laugh a lot, and their happiness is very authentic, unadulterated, and thus very contagious. So for me, to share their happiness and joy is a quite natural thing... 👶😊🤗 Needless to say: Great video! 🙏🏻
When you mentioned extending metta boundlessly to everyone, even those who have ill will towards others, I was reminded of a book I just finished that I wonder if you've read: "The Buddhist on Death Row," about Jarvis Jay Masters who has been on death row for decades for a crime he didn't commit who turned to Buddhism. There's this passage where he's talking to Pema Chodron about the judge who sentenced him: "In Judge Savitt's face I saw her confusion, even her fear. It's hard to stay angry after that. It's not that I don't still blame her sometimes. I don't know if I can completely forgive her, either. But when I think of her and see her as a person like the rest of us, flawed, trying to get through life, it feels different." And Pema responds, "That feeling is compassion." Wild stuff, extending compassion for the woman who sentenced you to death.
Hello Doug, I think that is is right to rejoice for somebody that stole something from me, for an exemple, but at the same time, to have compassion for this person because she has put on herself a bad action/karma and that suffuring may happen to her some day or an other. Thanks for an other great vidéo. My mon now listen to them ounce in a while 👍
Yes, we can have joy in the happiness of others even when we don't really share their tastes or interests, and even when compassion is the deeper response. Glad to hear about your mom, that's nice!
Mudita is also a kind of generosity of the heart... magnanamity... Mudita... rejoicing in others happiness in things that we r not interested in.. eg we may not agree with what they do but it is not unwholesome and it makes them happy, we r happy too
Thanks a lot for this excellent class, I'm sure I'll study several times more in order to understand the deep teaching in it. Lots of hugs. Evangelina Cortes.
Hi Doug I struggle with feelings of envy and jealousy of others, can you practice sympathetic joy meditation on it's own or do you have to incorporate it with the other 3 Brahmaviharas? Also if you meditate daily do you use the same people every day over and over again to send happiness and goodwill to or is it just whoever comes into mind that day? Thanks
Hi James! Yes, envy and jealousy are normal mind-states, and worth practicing with. You don't have to incorporate sympathetic joy meditation into the other Brahmavihāras if you don't want. Indeed, if you think you need to work with envy, then maybe doing exclusively sympathetic joy for awhile is a great idea. As to how you meditate, I don't think there are any hard-and-fast rules about it. You may find it less repetitive to send the feelings to whomever comes to mind, or to different people from time to time, but if you have particular people you want to work with consistently, that shouldn't be a problem either.
@@DougsDharma ok thanks for the advice Doug, do you know of any sympathetic joy meditations you can recommend as this seems the least common of the four to find?
Hi, thank you for this video, very informative, can you recommend any books to help with learning the practice of Mudita please ? or any guided meditation practices for this.
Hi Dane, you can check out Sharon Salzberg's book Lovingkindness which should be linked in the show notes to that video. She discusses all of the Brahmavihāras, including Mudita.
Yes there are people towards whom it's very, very difficult for many of us to express kindness. So start with those who aren't so difficult, remembering that it's a practice for you, not for them.
Social media truly has increased my tendency to compare myself with others. Sympathetic joy is a good antidote for this. Thanks, Doug!
Yes, it's a great practice, often overlooked. 🙏
Compassion is the brahmavihāra that I struggle with the least. I view myself as a compassionate person almost to a fault. Sympathetic joy is probably the one that I struggle with the most because of how competitive I am. If I see a successful person I'm not necessarily jealous of them, but I'm not always happy for them either. I want to become as good as them and I often compare myself to people who are more successful than I am and people who are more talented than I am. Even while watching your videos I often compare myself to you saying to myself "He's so knowledgeable and articulate. I wish I had that skill." I am genuinely happy for you though so that was probably a bad example but you know what I'm getting at. I'm looking forward to your next video on equanimity. In the past I've said that I don't want to be equanimous, but as I'm getting older and wiser I'm starting to realize that being equanimous is extremely important. That's also something that I have to work on, but sympathetic joy is definitely the one that I struggle with the most.
Thanks for that Afanasi. Yeah, we all have those aspects that we struggle with, and so we have to tailor our practice to those struggles. (I actually struggle more with compassion than sympathetic joy. Go figure). Sometimes that might mean practicing more with the hard stuff, and other times it might mean leaving the hard stuff until later when we're in the right frame of mind for it. But even being aware of what gives us difficulty is a great success already, so pat yourself on the back for that. Then consider how to put a practice of sympathetic joy into your life. 😀
Hi Doug,
For sure mundane happiness, in and of itself, is not universally good thing, in fact it can be an expression of greed, hatred and delusion which cannot be held to be true happiness - which causes no harm to oneself or others - and as such cannot be rejoiced in, and must be regarded with compassion and equanimity.
My limited understanding of sympathetic joy involves a distinction between the mundane and the noble.
Mundane sympathetic joy is an antidote to ill will arising from ego clinging arising from the delusion of a fixed self-comparing itself to an other.
Noble sympathetic joy is rejoicing in those who have found and are practising the Buddha dharma without judgement of others.
Thanks as ever for your time and effort, deeply appreciated.
May all beings liberate themselves from the burden of unnecessary suffering.
You're very welcome James! Indeed, all of these Brahmavihāras have various aspects that we can attend to if we are interested. 🙂
Concerning Buddhaghosa's practice, I found out that to start with children is very easy. Children smile and laugh a lot, and their happiness is very authentic, unadulterated, and thus very contagious. So for me, to share their happiness and joy is a quite natural thing... 👶😊🤗
Needless to say: Great video! 🙏🏻
Thanks xiao mao! Yes starting with happy children is a great practice. It wouldn't work so well if the kids were cranky! 😄
@@DougsDharma
Hahaha, indeed! 😬😂
THank you Doug for sharing this~
My pleasure, Eliza!
I've only just found your channel recently but you are a fantastic teacher thank you
Very kind of you to say faolain. You're very welcome! 🙏
When you mentioned extending metta boundlessly to everyone, even those who have ill will towards others, I was reminded of a book I just finished that I wonder if you've read: "The Buddhist on Death Row," about Jarvis Jay Masters who has been on death row for decades for a crime he didn't commit who turned to Buddhism. There's this passage where he's talking to Pema Chodron about the judge who sentenced him:
"In Judge Savitt's face I saw her confusion, even her fear. It's hard to stay angry after that. It's not that I don't still blame her sometimes. I don't know if I can completely forgive her, either. But when I think of her and see her as a person like the rest of us, flawed, trying to get through life, it feels different." And Pema responds, "That feeling is compassion."
Wild stuff, extending compassion for the woman who sentenced you to death.
Yes, a heavy story.
Hello Doug, I think that is is right to rejoice for somebody that stole something from me, for an exemple, but at the same time, to have compassion for this person because she has put on herself a bad action/karma and that suffuring may happen to her some day or an other.
Thanks for an other great vidéo. My mon now listen to them ounce in a while 👍
Yes, we can have joy in the happiness of others even when we don't really share their tastes or interests, and even when compassion is the deeper response. Glad to hear about your mom, that's nice!
Mudita is also a kind of generosity of the heart... magnanamity...
Mudita... rejoicing in others happiness in things that we r not interested in.. eg we may not agree with what they do but it is not unwholesome and it makes them happy, we r happy too
Its very sporting ... not being a killjoy but be a lovejoy instead
Yes that's right. It's a very wholesome mental state.
@@DougsDharmathank you very much!😊
Thanks a lot for this excellent class, I'm sure I'll study several times more in order to understand the deep teaching in it. Lots of hugs. Evangelina Cortes.
You're very welcome Evangelina!
Amazing efforts
🙏😊
Thanks for the video!
You're welcome Gabriel!
Reminds me of the idea of "compersion" in ENM / polyamory discourse
Hi Doug I struggle with feelings of envy and jealousy of others, can you practice sympathetic joy meditation on it's own or do you have to incorporate it with the other 3 Brahmaviharas? Also if you meditate daily do you use the same people every day over and over again to send happiness and goodwill to or is it just whoever comes into mind that day? Thanks
Hi James! Yes, envy and jealousy are normal mind-states, and worth practicing with. You don't have to incorporate sympathetic joy meditation into the other Brahmavihāras if you don't want. Indeed, if you think you need to work with envy, then maybe doing exclusively sympathetic joy for awhile is a great idea. As to how you meditate, I don't think there are any hard-and-fast rules about it. You may find it less repetitive to send the feelings to whomever comes to mind, or to different people from time to time, but if you have particular people you want to work with consistently, that shouldn't be a problem either.
@@DougsDharma ok thanks for the advice Doug, do you know of any sympathetic joy meditations you can recommend as this seems the least common of the four to find?
@@jamespeacock1428 The Sharon Salzberg book I recommend has some. But basically you want to wish that someone's happiness and good fortune continue.
Hi, thank you for this video, very informative, can you recommend any books to help with learning the practice of Mudita please ? or any guided meditation practices for this.
Hi Dane, you can check out Sharon Salzberg's book Lovingkindness which should be linked in the show notes to that video. She discusses all of the Brahmavihāras, including Mudita.
* I mean my "mom" (not my "mon") . Sorry 🙃
How to love Putin of Russia? It’s impossible!!!
Yes there are people towards whom it's very, very difficult for many of us to express kindness. So start with those who aren't so difficult, remembering that it's a practice for you, not for them.