Originally posted in March 2012, as part of Wrestlemonthia, a season devoted to films starring wrestlers, this re-edited version runs 1m 3s shorter than the original. Trims have been made, as per usual, to film clips and tighten up the pacing, although I removed one joke because I didn't feel comfortable with it. Otherwise, this is probably one of my favourites (particularly the explosion counter), and obviously ties in with my review of Ferdinand. Did you know The Marine has gone on to be a surprising franchise, with four sequels, and a sixth film currently in production? I'm not kidding. Anyway, enjoy!
Yeah, the joke where the knife "penetrates him like a camp counselor." LOL. But yeah, this one of my favorite reviews too. This movie is the type that's so bad, it's good. It's just one of those films that's stupid, yet so enjoyable and hilarious that you can't look away.
Well, Film Brain has become a bit more sensitive these last few years (that was not intended as a put-down). Though sometimes he can be a bit TOO sensitive and self-aware (that was meant as constructive criticism, not a personal insult). But anyway, yeah, this review is great. I like when he reviews movies that are so stupid, they're hilarious. I Love You Beth Cooper was another one like that.
The only thing missing would have been to cast Damon Wayans as the black guy. Also love the tag on the back of the cop car Cena steals too. "Donated by your local Drug Dealer".
I know, I only learned just recently that America's national anthem was "The Star Spangled Banner". Watching American movies, I used to believe the song of the american people was just 12 minutes of uninterrupted explosions.
The best thing about this piece of crap is that WWE originally wanted to have Randy Orton play John Triton, the titular "Marine". The same Randy Orton who was kicked out of the real United States Marine Corps with a Bad Conduct Discharge for going AWOL and disobeying orders before he became a wrestler. That's like making a medical drama with a hero brain surgeon, played by a real former surgeon who lost his license to practise because he lobotomised a patient through sheer negligence. As always, Randy Boredom put in as little effort as possible and didn't even get a full Dishonorable Discharge. He went for the Big Chicken Dinner instead of the whole hog.
I still dont know why the fuck he was discharged in the first place, I mean, yeah he violated orders, but discharged for rescuing his fellow marines like that? I dont know, I mean he would get in trouble for sure but thrown out of the Marines?
+LtHavoc yeah I agree for the most part. I mean, he got removed but I guarantee that general doesn’t hate the fact that cena did what he did and that he disobeyed his orders, resulting in an overwhelming victory. Smh
@@theitfactorjameswheezer2852 How dare you denigrate the majestic greatness of "The Mystical Adventures Of Billy Owens"? _YOUR SOUL... WAS LOST... IN THE RIVAAAHHH!!!_ It's thee finest in Canadian Harry Potter ripoffery, eh!
More like a less charismatic Marky Mark. He looks like Mark Wahlberg on steroids. Well, on _more_ steroids, depending on the movie... _"Feel the vibration - 'cause you can't see me..."_
9:27 “The bullet is the wrong caliber!” Shell casing reads “45mm” Yup, that adds up. lol I believe they meant to write “.45 cal” which is an actual round, and one fired from that particular model of sidearm. A 45mm round would be big enough to punch through many inches of steel and weigh several pounds and require a huge gun to fire it, lol. Also, there are 20mm and 30mm rounds used in various auto cannons, but I’ve not heard of a 45mm one yet, lol, so again, good catch, they obviously meant .45 caliber and their digital effects guy certainly isn’t a gun nerd like myself, or was too lazy to use Google. lol
For a while after this film they had Cena's wrestling character act like he was an actual Marine. Playing a Marine in a film doesn't make you an actual Marine Cena.
6:02 I gotta admit, that is such a cool shot. Weird that the director (John Bonito) only did one more film after this despite the insane action sequences. Honestly out of all the movies Matthew reviewed, this one of those that honestly isn't bad at all; it's just dumb fun and hilarious.
I honestly unironically enjoy this movie. Robert Patrick is an amazingly fun villain and I think everyone turns in a good performance. Even Cena comes off as charming and likeable. But that's just my opinion.
That Iraq scene is one of the best parodies of a gung ho action scene I've ever seen. I can't believe it's supposed to be serious, as it would fit perfectly into Hot Shots or Tropic Thunder. Along with the number of times Cena survives explosions.
I like to imagine this movie doesn't exist; that it's what Peacemaker thinks of himself to be in spite of countless extrajudicial deaths and life in Blackgate
It's been years since I've seen it, but I think there's a random some throwaway line about how they might "need a hostage," presumably to use as a bargaining chip with the authorities. But yeah, it's a flimsy reason, and the real reason is exactly what IAmTheUnison said... "because movie."
Is there some compelling reason the cops didn't send a helicopter after the escaping bank robbers in the swamp? Oh yeah, because the movie has to happen.
I remember watching this back in the day. I usually watched your stuff first thing in the morning (I live in Sweden), but I guess I watched this one in the afternoon, because I ate some dark chocolate with Chili flavor. Man, it's been a decade.
If Roman Reigns was cast in a film it'd be even worse. He was in a storyline where Braun Strowman pushed an ambulance over with him in it and the only effect it had on him was injured ribs.
The Rock getting a lot bigger, physically, is what made him cash In like that. Before he got more muscle, he wasn’t getting nearly as many movie offers
Is the movie trying for satire when Cena says there's not much call for someone with Special Ops skills? Er...people leave the military because the pay in private security contractors is so much higher for doing the same work.
Cena's film career is driven by jealousy of The Rock and nothing else. He also hypocritically complained about Rock leaving WWE to do films only to do the same himself years later.
This is a guilty pleasure movie no doubt, BUT, considering the shit Tom Cruise survives in the Mission: Impossible franchise, this was damn near believable, LOL!
6:07 Well, somebody's a fan of GTA! 17:05 What's the point of playing the black guy up for laughs if you're just going to kill him off so apathetically, and perhaps even more confusing why are the BAD GUYS being played like comical protags when they're cold-blooded murderers? This is tonal whiplash! 18:36 I'm actually willing to let that one slide. 1) Because it was actually pretty bad ass, and 2) because, well...bitches get stitches. XD 19:35 HOW THE HELL DID SHE SURVIVE ALL THAT?! What, does banging a marine give you superhuman invincibility powers too?! O.o 20:12 No, that's FALLING...with style. (nah, just kidding. It's complete bullshit) XD
11:37 John shouldn't be worried about that all he should worry about is doing what he has to do to apprehend the bad guys and rescue his wife. 18:44 no,it wasn't. 21:28 the cops shouldn't be arresting him at all.
Nit picking on what is totally just a joke and yea I know it is lol. With that said, no such thing as an EX-marine in the corps. So it wouldn't change the movie title.
![[ TEASER ] เงาะป่า - วงL.กฮ. | TMG RECORD](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/M4ObdFfcPww/mqdefault.jpg)
Originally posted in March 2012, as part of Wrestlemonthia, a season devoted to films starring wrestlers, this re-edited version runs 1m 3s shorter than the original. Trims have been made, as per usual, to film clips and tighten up the pacing, although I removed one joke because I didn't feel comfortable with it. Otherwise, this is probably one of my favourites (particularly the explosion counter), and obviously ties in with my review of Ferdinand. Did you know The Marine has gone on to be a surprising franchise, with four sequels, and a sixth film currently in production? I'm not kidding. Anyway, enjoy!
Yeah, the joke where the knife "penetrates him like a camp counselor." LOL. But yeah, this one of my favorite reviews too. This movie is the type that's so bad, it's good. It's just one of those films that's stupid, yet so enjoyable and hilarious that you can't look away.
Well, Film Brain has become a bit more sensitive these last few years (that was not intended as a put-down). Though sometimes he can be a bit TOO sensitive and self-aware (that was meant as constructive criticism, not a personal insult). But anyway, yeah, this review is great. I like when he reviews movies that are so stupid, they're hilarious. I Love You Beth Cooper was another one like that.
The best movie to feature wrestlers is and always will be, MacGruber.
Film Brain it must've taken a lot of guts for Kane to upstage Cena.
you should review the sequels
6:11 "Why the hell would you bring a rocket launcher to a bank robbery!?"
I'm pretty sure any Payday 2 players here got a giggle out of that.
PLAN B FTW !
GTA online players: 😄 🤣 😂
Wow... those players really like to go loud during a heist game.
Words cannot describe how much I enjoy Film Brain's American voice impersonation.
I don't even think Michael Bay was this deliberate with all these explosions. Although it did cement Cena's reputation as the Immortal SuperCena.
@jbiehlable lol!
@jbiehlable yep. Hehehehe
@jbiehlable Oy vey...
@jbiehlable dishonor on him, the cow...
The only thing missing would have been to cast Damon Wayans as the black guy. Also love the tag on the back of the cop car Cena steals too. "Donated by your local Drug Dealer".
I don't think Film Brain gets how things work here in America. Everything here explodes all the time.
I know, I only learned just recently that America's national anthem was "The Star Spangled Banner". Watching American movies, I used to believe the song of the american people was just 12 minutes of uninterrupted explosions.
I blew up my toilet taking a shit. 'Merica.
My computer exploded at least 10 times while typing this post out.
Fuck, anything filled with gas, propane, lighter fluid or water explodes if you sneeze to hard near it!
Is it just me, or does SUPERCENA sound like some sort of pokémon?
You're at the top of your game with this review. Everything was on point. Great humor. Very well done.
Now Robert Patrick is playing John Cena's day in the Peacemaker series
Ironic
So this is how Peacekeeper sees himself
Wait the explosion doesn't keep him down but being hit by a fire extinguisher floored him?
Yes, yes it did. Sigh.
I sometimes forget how much of a miltary otaku John Cena is.
And an otaku in general - he's on record as being an anime fan, and liking Fist of the North Star in particular.
Hahaha OMG 'military otaku' - I sadly know a couple people for whom that phrase is a perfect description. Love it.
The best thing about this piece of crap is that WWE originally wanted to have Randy Orton play John Triton, the titular "Marine".
The same Randy Orton who was kicked out of the real United States Marine Corps with a Bad Conduct Discharge for going AWOL and disobeying orders before he became a wrestler. That's like making a medical drama with a hero brain surgeon, played by a real former surgeon who lost his license to practise because he lobotomised a patient through sheer negligence.
As always, Randy Boredom put in as little effort as possible and didn't even get a full Dishonorable Discharge. He went for the Big Chicken Dinner instead of the whole hog.
Why didn’t he become a cop after being discharged if he missed the action so much?
I still dont know why the fuck he was discharged in the first place, I mean, yeah he violated orders, but discharged for rescuing his fellow marines like that? I dont know, I mean he would get in trouble for sure but thrown out of the Marines?
BECAUSE HE"S A MARINE!!!!
+LtHavoc yeah I agree for the most part. I mean, he got removed but I guarantee that general doesn’t hate the fact that cena did what he did and that he disobeyed his orders, resulting in an overwhelming victory. Smh
"But I'm a Marine!"
"Not anymore!"
Once A Marine, Always A Marine.
That's what I learned in the core
But wasn't he dishonorably discharged? I never actually watched the movie, so I don't know.
Triton was honorably discharged.
@@culwin You were in he Core? Hmm, I thought it was spelled Corps?
@@Raptor1867 he would’ve punched a drill instructor in the face
8:34 “did he just break the 4th wall?!” Yes? To the tune of the theme song from Clarissa Explains it All...I think?
You act as if 'They Live' isn't one of the greatest films ever made.
adrenacrumb it’s good but not “one of the greatest” lol
There is something called...subjectivity.
Lightning Farron tbf they live is pipers only good movie
@@theitfactorjameswheezer2852 How dare you denigrate the majestic greatness of "The Mystical Adventures Of Billy Owens"?
_YOUR SOUL... WAS LOST... IN THE RIVAAAHHH!!!_
It's thee finest in Canadian Harry Potter ripoffery, eh!
They Live was actually an awesome Piper movie!
@8:42: Oh hi Rap Critic.
Now that you mention it, John Cena always has looked like a less charismatic Matt Damon to me.
MKMLP to bad they didn’t ask john cena to play Jason Bourne ( the one movie that didn’t use Matt Damon) lol that would be funny
j borrego That it would
More like a less charismatic Marky Mark.
He looks like Mark Wahlberg on steroids. Well, on _more_ steroids, depending on the movie...
_"Feel the vibration - 'cause you can't see me..."_
Film Brain, I am so glad I came upon your channel. This Marine review is HILARIOUS!
9:27 “The bullet is the wrong caliber!”
Shell casing reads “45mm”
Yup, that adds up. lol I believe they meant to write “.45 cal” which is an actual round, and one fired from that particular model of sidearm. A 45mm round would be big enough to punch through many inches of steel and weigh several pounds and require a huge gun to fire it, lol. Also, there are 20mm and 30mm rounds used in various auto cannons, but I’ve not heard of a 45mm one yet, lol, so again, good catch, they obviously meant .45 caliber and their digital effects guy certainly isn’t a gun nerd like myself, or was too lazy to use Google. lol
For a while after this film they had Cena's wrestling character act like he was an actual Marine. Playing a Marine in a film doesn't make you an actual Marine Cena.
I think he was doing as a tribute to his dad, who had served. He even wore his dad's dog tags to say thank you.
@@lunabearsong2043 Um, I don't think his dad was a Marine.
6:02 I gotta admit, that is such a cool shot. Weird that the director (John Bonito) only did one more film after this despite the insane action sequences. Honestly out of all the movies Matthew reviewed, this one of those that honestly isn't bad at all; it's just dumb fun and hilarious.
I honestly unironically enjoy this movie. Robert Patrick is an amazingly fun villain and I think everyone turns in a good performance. Even Cena comes off as charming and likeable.
But that's just my opinion.
I like it because of the explosions.
John Cena playing a Gary-Stu...who would have guessed.
This is the kind of film Last Action Hero was a parody of.
Iced that guy! Cone of phrase
That Iraq scene is one of the best parodies of a gung ho action scene I've ever seen. I can't believe it's supposed to be serious, as it would fit perfectly into Hot Shots or Tropic Thunder. Along with the number of times Cena survives explosions.
Funny enough Cena’s career started to blossom way after this movie and this review came out.
I like to imagine this movie doesn't exist; that it's what Peacemaker thinks of himself to be in spite of countless extrajudicial deaths and life in Blackgate
Yeah, that road they're driving on looks nothing like I-95.
Ah so this is how Peacemaker from Suicide Squad came to be the man he is today
That's a lot of explosions. xD
It really is some kind of schtick that Bay would dream about. xD
Better than watching Cena play his mockery of Peacemaker.
Does the movie explain why they kidnapped Cena’s wife instead of just killing her?
Because a kidnapped damsel is one of the favorite plot devices for creatively bankrupt writers.
In the words of IHE, "Because Movie".
It's been years since I've seen it, but I think there's a random some throwaway line about how they might "need a hostage," presumably to use as a bargaining chip with the authorities.
But yeah, it's a flimsy reason, and the real reason is exactly what IAmTheUnison said... "because movie."
Glad you're on TH-cam now. Your reviews make my day....so does Nostalgia Critic....and AVGN😛😁
"Explosions: The Movie"
once a marine always a marine film brain
That Terminator joke gets me every time XD I love Robert Patrick
YEEEAAAAH more BMB!!
Is there some compelling reason the cops didn't send a helicopter after the escaping bank robbers in the swamp? Oh yeah, because the movie has to happen.
16:56 That sounds like a classic Vince mcmahon moment
Did you actually review No Holds Barred? Because I would love to see that. :)
Love it how the beat to the theme song actually matches the syllables to " bad movie beat down". 😀
I remember watching this back in the day. I usually watched your stuff first thing in the morning (I live in Sweden), but I guess I watched this one in the afternoon, because I ate some dark chocolate with Chili flavor. Man, it's been a decade.
This is basically Schwarzenegger levels of cheese.
If Roman Reigns was cast in a film it'd be even worse. He was in a storyline where Braun Strowman pushed an ambulance over with him in it and the only effect it had on him was injured ribs.
Remember the time when we thought the Rock was done? That his career was over? Fun times.
The Rock getting a lot bigger, physically, is what made him cash In like that. Before he got more muscle, he wasn’t getting nearly as many movie offers
Is the movie trying for satire when Cena says there's not much call for someone with Special Ops skills? Er...people leave the military because the pay in private security contractors is so much higher for doing the same work.
One day I should make a film with nothing but explosions that are unnecessarily placed in dialogue
For a second their I though he said Kelly Clarkson 3:45
Cena's film career is driven by jealousy of The Rock and nothing else. He also hypocritically complained about Rock leaving WWE to do films only to do the same himself years later.
Xehanort10 that was a storyline lol
Later on then Stone Cold starred in The Condemed.
Lmao his only weakness is getting hit in the head and face with shit
Are you planning to make more Bad Movie Beatdown?
Got some filmed for next year.
19:41 of all things her surviving those explosions crashes etc is so stupid silly. lol
maybe its just me but i legitimatly liked see no evil
Same.
Love the Deliverance and Terminator 2 references in this one 😂Also, I feel like all the action scenes were stolen from Predator and Die Hard.
It’s John Cena
For some reason i think this guy would be reviewing films like this, even without it being recorded on camera. 😞
Look at his face... He seriously doesn't understand why he's in trouble x'D
The Marine is Commando of John Cena
Look at his face... He seriously doesn't understand why he's in trouble x'D
Cena is exactly the kind of dense sock puppet the millitary needs. Even though he wouldnt make a good soldier, too soft.
lol
Awesome, thanks for the laughs!
Keep rocking!
The new adventures of super cena made me laugh so much, Legend film brain
This is a guilty pleasure movie no doubt, BUT, considering the shit Tom Cruise survives in the Mission: Impossible franchise, this was damn near believable, LOL!
6:07 Well, somebody's a fan of GTA!
17:05 What's the point of playing the black guy up for laughs if you're just going to kill him off so apathetically, and perhaps even more confusing why are the BAD GUYS being played like comical protags when they're cold-blooded murderers? This is tonal whiplash!
18:36 I'm actually willing to let that one slide. 1) Because it was actually pretty bad ass, and 2) because, well...bitches get stitches. XD
19:35 HOW THE HELL DID SHE SURVIVE ALL THAT?! What, does banging a marine give you superhuman invincibility powers too?! O.o
20:12 No, that's FALLING...with style. (nah, just kidding. It's complete bullshit) XD
10:05 How does one no sells a Petrol fire in the face but gets knocked out by a fire extinguisher?
8:41 Hi rap critic
I only found this movie descent because the volume was so low that I couldn’t hear anything
can't seem to find the seven pounds review. where is it?
I've not put it back up yet.
I forgot about that one!
The one and only time I watched this movie, I had to turn my brain down so low, I nearly stopped breathing. This one was dangerously stupid.
11:37 John shouldn't be worried about that all he should worry about is doing what he has to do to apprehend the bad guys and rescue his wife. 18:44 no,it wasn't. 21:28 the cops shouldn't be arresting him at all.
I much preferred Cena in 12 rounds I think he may of taken a few acting lessons in between
20:56 lmfao
8:18 ever heard of mr t
was that 25 exsplosion and 10 in like the last 8 mins of the film
If only we knew...
No such thing as an EX-marine!
8:18 but they do drive Escalades
Look up Dubai's police cars. Overindulgence much?
A caddy damn that's stereotypical
I was looking though Hulu and they class this movie as a horror
In fairness, I'd be terrified if I lived in the crazy world this movie portrays.
@@ronburgundy244 same
8:32 me finding out the budget for this shit.
I'm just upset he didn't do an AA on anyone in the film.
There are no ex-marines
Roddy Piper was in They Live
John Semen.
Random: but I'd love to see you review midnight meat train
Wait a minute.... Is film brain a smark????
Man this movie was both good & bad actually had fun watching this 1! Cena Vs. T-1000 is what saved this movie despite the cheesy unnecessary moment's😅
Now, they are in each other's throats again in Peacemaker.
How is the real marine doing ? being a long time
lol
ive had to set thur this movie and felt like propaganda to me..... yes its a bad movie
Review marine 2 and 3.
Saw it in theater, did not regret it. XD
There is no such thing as an ex marine
Just ask them
Fitzie McDonalds NOTHINGS EVER OVER!
Nothing is over! Nothing! U just don't turn it off!
this movie is a funny
Nit picking on what is totally just a joke and yea I know it is lol. With that said, no such thing as an EX-marine in the corps. So it wouldn't change the movie title.
Toddy piper did have they live but that was a flop but it still a very good movie.
Fast forward and The Rock is the biggest moviestar on the planet.....still no good films tough.
Rock was doing okay even back in 2012 and now he's the highest paid actor. But yeah, he makes shitty movies.
I really like The Scorpion King, The Rundown, and Walking Tall.
Asghar Abbas ok watchmojo subscriber
@@lunabearsong2043 Faster, Journey 2, Doom, pain and gain, Snitch, GI JOE Retaliation were good including race to which mountain
Cena sucks.