When I was two and a half my sister was born. I was so excited about it (according to my mom). About two weeks after she came home I turned to my mom and said “mommy when is sister going home?” And she said “this is her home. She’s going to live with us forever.” And according to her I looked at her with a look of horror and said “ohhhhh.” First children’s lives do change and they will feel different but I’m definitely glad I had her growing up. ☺️
I did something similar with my younger siblings. They are twins and I was 3 and excited for them to come but once they arrived, I kept asking my mom to put them back in her tummy.
my older brother was apparently super excited when I was born, but a few months later tried to suffocate me with a pillow... (presumably I was crying and he just wanted to muffle the noise but being less than 3 years old he did not go about it very strategically)
I can't speak for everyone, but I will say with my unplanned c section, my recovery was actually really good. I was back to driving after a week, virtually no pain after 2 weeks. Recovery isn't always as bad as some people say, especially when you don't have issues going to the bathroom haha
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Yeah from my very limited experience, one of my best friends had a c section and recovery for her was fairly easy and quick, whereas another best friend had a third degree tear and her recovery has been much, much more of a struggle.
My brother was born when I was almost 2 and to prepare me my mam got me a baby doll. When my mam would change his nappy I would change my babies nappy, when my mam would feed him I’d feed my baby, etc. My mam said it really helped with me not feeling left out. Congratulations to you and Thomas! 😁
I had a c-section (failed induction, basically zero labor, almost at 42 weeks) and honestly it was a beautiful experience and I recovered so quickly, walking around the room that afternoon! I know every body is different, just wanted to share another perspective. Best of luck!!
I was in the same situation: my son was born at 41+6, they tried inducing for four days but I never "really" went into labour (had contractions for four days, but my cervix never really budget, even when they managed to break my waters). It was not the birth I had intended (I had planned for an umedicated homebirth), but the team was funny and sweat, and it went by so fast. I was extremely tired afterwards but it wasn't all due to the c-section, and my wound ended up healing very quickly. I'm very sad I never went into labour, but I'm OK with how my baby was born and we're both very well ❤
i really recommend watching taylor r’s video on chinese confinement after birth! it was really eye opening to see how different cultures value that time after birth for the mother to heal and the baby to be bonded to the parents ! xx
I kept my first a surprise. And kept sentimental newborn things. And when I got pregnant with my second two years later I decided to find out the sex - ANOTHER GIRL!!! I bonded with her so much and when I met her it was just MAGIC. x
As much as I respect, fully respect, not asking anyone about having a child, cause you never know someone's situation, NOT ASKING side effect is rebuilding a tabou. These videos, openly sharing life struggles and behinds of decision making process are so, sooo... important. Thank you
I had an unplanned c section after a 7 hour long labour with 2 minute contractions, because my son was in a bad position. After the birth, the first 3-4 days were hard, but after that I felt great! I healed fast. 💚
Doubt you'll see this but I'm due my first baby in a week and honestly rewatching your labour video is what's helping me so much because depsite the fact I can see it's hard and you're in pain you managed it so well at home and it genuinely seemed like such a natural experience, I hate that it didn't end that way for you but honestly I've rewatched it about 3 times in the past month and it's really helped me plan and show my husband what kind of birth I imagine for us
If you DO NOT want to get pregnant please always use protection. There are not 100% safe days, not even during period. There might be young girls watching this video thinking that an app can prevent a pregnancy, well, it does not 😉
There is no fail way there is always a risk. Tracking via NC is a safe option. You can only get pregnant when you are ovulation so there are 100% safe days.
@@elin6053 It's possible to get pregnant outside of your predicted fertile window because timing of ovulation may differ each month and sperm lives in the body for several days. Therefore, though more unlikely at some points, pregnancy can result from unprotected sex at any time during your menstrual cycle.
Finding out feels like 2 celebrations and surprises...finding out and the surprise of meeting them. The one time we didn't find out in 6 kids, we regretted it a lot. Pregnancy was less exciting, definite less bond early on and when baby is born, that is so big, the gender feels like an afterthought so we felt like we lost out on one of the best celebrations of the pregnancy. That's why I never get why people say they get a surprise. It's like losing one surprise and one of the 2 big celebrations when not finding out. There was not one thing better not finding out, which my OBs said is how they find most parents of multiple kids who did both feel.
as the oldest out of six kids (so had five younger siblings) I am so grateful for them! having them around as a child was grand and I'm even more grateful now that I'm an adult and they're older. as long as you're aware that a new kid will have an impact and still give him attention and avoid adultification (did have to deal with that as young as five which is rough) being an older sibling will be a great experience
As an older sister with an age gap similar to the one your kids will have, I looked forward to having a little sibling, since my parents explained that the baby would be a friend for me forever, and that I need to love and protect her (i have vivid memories of seeing my baby sister in the clear hospital bassinet, giving her a pink blue and white teddy bear, and standing on my tippy toes to just stroke her cheek with my fingertips - I automatically knew I needed to be gentle and quiet). Something I'd suggest is involving your son with "play" with your little one in any way they can. The only "downside" of having a younger sibling was that there were more rules about how I could move around/behave in a space I wasnt previously sharing (ie. "I know you're excited but dont be so loud you'll scare the baby"). Once my sister could sit up, my parents often had me show her how certain toys/games worked - blowing bubbles has been a family tradition with my grandpa and one I will share with my kids one day (this way I was getting attention, and had a "job" - I also helped mom in the kitchen - stood on a chair with a big apron and everything haha). With two such kind warm parents like you, I know your little ones will be the best of friends 💚
Best thing about having 2 children: The times when they are very affectionate with each other. Worst thing about having 2 children: The times when they fight and scream at each other. - The closer they are in age the more intense this relationship usually gets. My children are 26 and 28 now. They are very close and love each other dearly. But there have been VERY hard times on the way.
Melanie, darling, I'm so so sorry you had the experience you had with your first birth. It breaks my heart that it happened like that, my heart aches for you. I have every hope and faith that you will find the help and support you need this time round to have the most beautiful, healing birth ❤️
I currently only have 1 child, she was born a couple months after your son. My birth experience (in Canada 🇨🇦) was I went for a 41 week fetal assessment and they discovered I had little to no fluid in my uterus. I then was induced (I did take morphine, then epidural) eventually I was pushing til my daughter's head got stuck on my pelvic bone. I had a choice between suction, forceps or a c-section. My doctor and I both agreed (him for safety me for both safety and exhaustion) on a c-section. So I then had a spinal tap for my emergency c-section. Oh and due to covid my husband couldn't be there until I was admitted (in a room for labour) wishing you a great birth. (Judt remember it's always different ie. Each pregnancy, each birth, and each baby/ child. Happy for you both
My sister and I are 6 years apart in age. She was so happy to welcome me into the world and we have always been close. She used to pet me in my cradle and help give me a bath. I don’t think we’ve ever really fought at all. I remember her reading books to me and us playing games together, she did my make up and my hair, painted my nails. She held my hand at theme parks when I was nervous when it was crowded. I used to spend a lot of time just sitting close to her because I felt comforted by her presence. So much fun, and we’re still super close although we live a sea apart. 💛
My first birth was quick (3.5 h from my first real contraction to baby in my arms). But I had a 4kg/55cm boy with a massive head just like his dad and my birth canal hat two massive tears on both sides up until the cervix. They had to stitch me up for over an hour and it was horrible. I've since forgotten labour pains but I will never forget that horrible feeling of one doctor holding the speculum and the other one sewing me up again... They were very lovely ladies and we all kept making jokes but it was horrendously painful and the pain medication made me hallucinate for at least 12 h after. And I wasn't head over heals in love with my baby right away since everything went so quickly. It took me a few weeks to comprehend what had happened and months to stop feeling guilty for not immediately falling in love with my son. I was very nervous for my second baby, especially because I was afraid of another tear and another turbo birth. My daughter was smaller than my son and I didn't tare at all. And she was out in 1,5h... But this time I was prepared and I took my time to get to know her. This is the biggest piece of advice I give to pregnant people I know. Don't fell guilty if you don't love your child immediately. We all would throw ourselfs off a cliff for them, but sometimes it takes a little time to heal and to get to know that little person and that's totally okay. All the best from Germany
So happy you're going to have a doula! Doula here, As you mentioned the example risk of baby being born with the umbilical cord around their neck I just wanted to share some info and dispel that myth. They’re actually really common with around a third of babies being born with nuchal cords and although this may sound alarming they are rarely problematic. As scary as it might look the cord is stretchy, slippery, and padded with Wharton’s jelly to protect the blood vessels that are taking oxygen to the baby (therefore the cord is not ‘choking’ the baby). Bodies really are amazing! Midwives will follow few quick maneuvers to unravel the cord so nuchal cords are often resolved in a matter of seconds!
Positive hospital/intervention birth story! Woke up at 1am with light contractions, water broke at 3am and everything got more painful. Went into triage at 5am to confirm waters had gone but got sent home as I was a first time mum and ‘probably not far along enough’ was back in at 7:30am writhing in pain and finally got checked out - I was 7cm! Got moved into the midwife unit and lay down on my side with gas and air for hours. Was 10cm at around 10:30am and got in the birth pool. Midwives noticed an irregular heartbeat after contractions for baby and I was drastically losing energy (only had 2 hours sleep after months of pregnancy insomnia and also no food and only little water for over 12 hours). The charge midwife came and spoke to me and said I would be able to get the baby out myself but it would take a little while and waiting could put baby in distress and cause me more injury so I agreed to be checked by the doctor. Got moved into a different room with a proper hospital bed, in stirrups etc, and ended up having a vacuum delivery, he was born at 2:30pm. I had 2 first degree tears that needed a few stitches. Wasn’t quite what I planned/hoped for but in the situation they did what was best for me and my boy. I gave informed consent at every step and I felt very well looked after. Honestly the worst part was the cannula they gave me to give me fluids because I was getting dehydrated, I could barely move my left hand until they took it out 7 hours later when I was discharged.
with a c section you have to also think about the long term health implications for both mother and baby. Starting with the lack of microbiome that a baby usually receives on their entrance down the birth canal. That and also higher still birth rate for next baby, with each c section the risk increases.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! And I'm so sorry you had such a negative experience with the end of your previous labor. I really appreciate you talking about it and the ways it is still affecting you mentally and emotionally. Birth and the trauma it can cause are often considered taboo, but it's so important to talk about!
Just wanted to add to those who have had easy recovery from a c-section. My first baby was delivered completely naturally; my second ended up with an emergency c-section. The recovery from the c-section was SO much easier!!
There's a 16 month age gap between my brother and I. My mother told me she was nervous about how having him would affect me and a doctor told her that the 2 of us would always keep each other company and it was lovely to see that come to fruition over the years
Every single month I was trying I had a strong inkling I was pregnant 😂😂 but I was wrong every time until it finally happened. Really disappointing. Congrats Mel. I'm pregnant too, daughter is 19 months.
I’m so sorry about your hospital experience. A lot of people do end up having to need interventions because of the pressure of needing things to be done at certain points. Some people labour for days. There is so much misinformation. Labouring at home for as long as possible is the best option, in my opinion. Either way I hope you’re able to deal with your trauma and have a healthy labour and birth x
I used trackers and fertile trackers for my last pregnancy and for my pregnancy now it really is a great way to track everything and it nice to be able to predict when you could actually concive. I'm currently 15 weeks with baby number 3 and it still doesn't feel real for me yet , hopefully feel some movements soon to make it reality. Delighted for you both xxx
You need to do a birth debrief! most of pregnancy and preparing for birth is about the inner work. Perceptions of childbirth. Also there's a lot of assumed content in the maternity system. That's why knowledge is power. For example - A nuchal cord (cord around babies neck) isn't an emergency as baby will still be receiving oxygenated blood via the placenta, most mothers instinctively unwind their baby and provided their cord is long enough they will bring them to their chest. (I'm a doula).
I would love video essays from you! Maybe a voice over style with some shots of your day to day life. A close up of the sun shining into a room or a curtain blowing in the wind, comforting things like that. Moments that happen naturally but are so beautiful (plus don't cost you a lot of time to shoot). Also gives you the freedom to stock up on footage without it having to be related to the essay topic saving you time in the long run. I really think this could be an exciting shift for this channel! I always love hearing your perspective on things.
I was 3 when my little sister was born - it's my first and probably most precious memory! Me and my dad outside the hospital picking flowers for my new sister
Loved this catch up! I teared up when you spoke about being trapped in the hospital with no help during covid, I had the same but an emergency c-section 😭 then baby had to go under the lights for jaundice. We bed shared with a 3 years old and baby, the 3 year would start I'm her own bed but crawl in during the night. I always made sure baby was on the far side next to me, toddler in the middle of us 2 adults and she knew very strictly she was never allowed to go onto baby's side.
Our first was an unplanned, emergency c-section and I felt fine after 2 days. I do have a high pain tolerance though and was 22 so maybe that played a role. My second was the unmedicated, vaginal birth of my dreams! I was 37 weeks and could've left the hospital same day if I'd wanted. I hope you have a great, happy and safe 2nd birth! My sons are 23 months apart and it's so fun. We're thinking about #3 once #2 is a year in October :)
I have absolutely nothing to contribute on babies/pregnancy so...video ideas? - a video essay about why you want to start making video essays - talk about an interest that you've never made a video about (or at least not in a long time) - a series of video essays about specific books that inspire you as a writer - essays about your comfort movies/tv shows with how/if they've changed over time
I guess I'm a bit confused. Around the timestamps for home birth thirteen minutes or so you say you did your previous labour entirely on gas and air but on your positive birth vlog and on Instagram you said you had a spinal block?
We had exactly the same situation as you with our first birth earlier this year. Baby was facing sideways and I was already starting to tear (diagonally which i didnt even realise was a thing) 😢 after pushing for an hour got taken to theatre and had third degree episiotomy and forceps delivery. Had major blood clots, lost half the blood in my body then was given two units of blood and an iron transfusion. The scariest part was being told they might have to perform a hysterectomy two hours after the birth of my first baby at age 26. Thankfully it didn't get that far and I have a healthy baby girl. Can totally understand your reluctance towards birth. It feels like the stakes are much higher when you already have a little one to think of.
@@powderandpaint14 I was put on a deadline and if I didn't progress to 10cm by then I might have had to have a c-section. Both of us were coping well through the labour though so they felt safe enough to leave me and I trusted their advice. I'm quite glad it didn't come to that because after doing some reading up on postpartum haemorrhages the bleeding could have been worse with a c section.
So excited to watch this video. Here nursing my 8 week old and just nursed my 18 month old to sleep. We had a difficult hospital birth with our first and an amazing home birth with our second. The care I received during pregnancy and after was just wonderful 💫💫💫 I had a postpartum doula for 2 weeks after and this helped with the transition to two under two!! Tandem feeding has helped our toddler take to her little sister in just the most amazing way. No jealousy ❤
I had a 9lb 15 baby naturally and yes he was hard to get out and I was in every position possible but us woman are ABLE to birth big babies! 🤙 I had a second degree tear but nothing awful! my fingers are crossed for you that this birth is better for you and heals your heart ❤️
I can't wait to see how mentally healthy your kids are going to be 😭 I often wonder how different my life would have turned out if I had a better childhood and good parents
We need to keep going despite that. You can always make your life better, even tho is hard sometimes, but it's about not giving up 😿❤ Having good parents and supportive family is a privilege not everybody has, but every little step you'll take, you can be so produ of yourself. It's called strength. Everyone of us was a child once, and everyone has that child in them. Does having bad parents make that child better or worst? Is that a child's fault? Does not every child deserves love? It's not about how we look or how we are. And also even a good parent will make mistakes sometimes, no one is 100% perfect, we are learn to be the best version of ourselves. You can show yourself that you deserve love and good treatment and everything and you can give love to your future child if you'd like to have a child. Generally you can share love and make other's lives and your own better ❤
I’m pregnant with my second, first was born about a month before yours and second is due about a month after you. I’m so nervous for the birth for the completely opposite reason, first birth was a dream (6 hours from start to finish, mostly at home then he was born in water, no tear etc). Everyone I know and follow have had horrendous birth experiences so I’m so worried the next won’t go as well! I really, truly hope your second birth goes smoothly!!
Since you've been pregnant (both before and now), I've asked my own mom a lot of questions regarding her own pregnancies and planning for kids when she and my dad were expanding our family. I'm 2 yrs and 9.5 months older than my little sister (so slightly bigger age gap than your kids will have), and 27 years later I can honestly say she is the best "gift" my parents ever gave me (dad wanted to have more than one kid so the first wasnt lonely and had a playmate). Oh sure we still drive each other crazy at times, but there is no one else in the world who makes me laugh like she does, who I feel so fiercely protective of, and who I know would have my back (no questions asked).
Expecting our first child In December and freaking out about breastfeeding. Could you do a video talking us through your tips and things that didn't work for you?
Aren’t you entitled to a post-birth debrief? A midwife should be available to discuss what happened and why - to help you going into your second birth. Ring your maternity ward and request one, if you haven’t already. Much love x
Loved the video and lovely to see both of your faces! So excited for you too! I'd love a video essay about inclusivity and motherhood. I feel this is still something that lacks in conversation. For example, when explaining safe co-sleeping with baby and toddler, you mentioned "father would be here". I suppose I wonder whether you have noticed a hetero-gaze on motherhood and your thoughts on this? You also talk about the risks of pregnancy and birth in this video, and I know this is something Black people face more discrimination and medical risks with!
Ahh thank you so much for answering my question! 💚 I would love to see in future videos how motherhood (and fatherhood!!) maybe changes/not changes you as your second baby comes along, things you've done to ease baby Pan into becoming a big brother etc! Love your videos 💚💚💚
Definitely had a better experience with my second birth than my first! Number one reason was that I was able to labor naturally (no inducement) but it was also because I knew I could do it and I felt much more confident going into the experience! I knew not to fight the pain and to think of each contraction as a wave bringing my baby closer and closer to me.
Congratulations! Currently bf and ttc, would Love if you made an updated bf video as my son is just a few months younger than yours and your motherhood videos really help me
my first birth was 12 hours, failed epidural, pushing for 2 hours, tears, haemorrhaged afterwards. Was just horrible. My second birth i’d do again 10x over, 4 hour labour, just gas and air, pushing for 5-10 minutes, no tears and no haemorrhage. It kind of healed my trauma from my first labour, i hope your second one is much better for you 🤞🏼💗
With regards to being close in age and being friends. My brother is 7 years older than me and my sister is 5 years older than me and I dont think I ever felt like we were friends until I was an older teenager/nearly an adult. I always felt like i was just the annoying little sister when I was a child so I probably would have liked to be closer in age. But now me and my sister are so close as adults.
Not sure if it’s an old wives tale, but when my parents were trying for my brother (he’s 38 this year so tracking ovulation wasn’t really a thing back then) it was taking a while. I think trying to conceive around two busy jobs, they were tired and getting a bit stressed and fed up and things weren’t lining up. So my dad and his colleague started chatting at work on their break one day about it taking a while, and my dad’s colleague said to buy something expensive to distract themselves and my mum will get pregnant. So my parents booked a holiday to corfu. And my mum spent the entire holiday reading under a tree/in the shade very pregnant with my brother whilst my dad did windsurfing and whatnot. If they left a week later my mum wouldn’t be able to travel. I think moral of the story is to not put too much pressure on yourselves if things don’t happen quickly
Yessss I'd love more video essays, I loved your video on envy and more researched videos from you would be lovely. But please give us vlogs once in a while 🥺
I wonder if the hospital you delivered at last time has a specific person, usually a midwife who sits down with your notes and talks through your experiences with you. They are usually able to ask the people who were involved with your birth about the decisions which were made as well as talk through all the information in the notes. Just a word of warning, the notes might be filled with a load of medical abbreviations which can make them difficult to understand if you just request as copy. If your hospital offers this service I would really recommend sitting down with someone to go through the notes as they will be able to decode everything for you. Best of luck for the second time around ☺️ xx
There definitely is no perfect time to have a baby! Just so many personal circumstances and factors to consider, and every family is different. I think my personality type/perfectionism, and experience of first baby having reflux and colic, means I'd rather wait until he's at least 4 before considering another (he's 18mo now). A lot of people say they'd rather have them closer in age so they can get back to having more sleep sooner, but I can't imagine anything worse than, 1) having no time to digest or process my thoughts (I feel like now I do at least have some time, just not freedom as still breastfeeding!), 2) being EVEN MORE tired, and 3) not being able to be the mummy I want to be to either child because of points 1 and 2! I'd actually rather stretch the tiredness out longer than have more intense tiredness, but I can say this because I very luckily got pregnant straight away at 26. I also just had this overwhelming feeling as soon as he was born that I just wanted to focus on him, and even if that meant not having another, I was fulfilled enough by him that it wouldn't matter (though I might still be sad). I also have my husband and his brother's relationship to remind me that an age gap doesn't mean they won't get along (they're 6 years apart and love each other to bits!). I do spend most if not every day wondering if I will have another though, because I'd like to be able to. I feel like I need to mentally prepare/move house etc to enable it to be possible, but keep thinking 'what if I don't and I could focus on something else sooner?'.
Hi Melanie, just wanted to share that I had a third degree tear with my first and nothing at all with my second, I had a much more positive birth experience second time round. I was trying to decide about elective c section for the same reasons as you and very glad that I didn’t. It’s a hard decision though ❤️
My son is currently 19 months old and we have just welcomed a baby girl 2 weeks ago. My first birth experience was 6 hours laboring at home and another 12 in hospital. I had 2 dural punctures which is a complication when they are trying to give an epidural so I wasn’t able to have one. They broke my water’s and gave me oxytocin to try and speed up the birth as much as possible. Even though it was long i was able to push in all different kinds of positions with my husband and had no catheter as I didn’t have an epidural so i did really enjoy the birth. I was very anxious the second time especially when considering the option of an epidural as i had lot’s of problems after the birth because of it (i had to be on bed rest, headaches, etc). I signed the consent form but decided that i would prefer a completely natural birth if possible. This time i started with contractions, i waited a few hours at home and when we got to the hospital i was 8cm dilated, within 20 minutes i needed to push, it was the perfect birth. The second time it will be a lot easier trust me, your body knows what it’s doing and this time you know what you need to do. Congratulations!
Have watched you through your whole first pregnancy and experience and so happy for you now in your second. I hope you can have the birth experience that you want 💜 So great that labour was so good but such a shame the end was so awful. I am now 35 weeks pregnant with my first child 😊 I am following hypnobirthing and feeling overall confident and excited for labour and birth *except* am a bit nervous for the medicalisation of it all, especially being in Singapore where deliveries are very much doctor rather than midwife led. But, currently trying to be as relaxed and confident as possible that everything will be amazing, and that I can be as empowered and in control as much as possible.
I had a big baby too, 9lbs 11oz 🙈 I tried naturally but after 3 days of contractions and stalled dilation I had to have a c section, it was the right thing to do and it was still an amazing experience! I’m hoping for a natural birth next time and will be more assertive about what I want. I’d love to hear more about your doula experience, best of luck xx
It would be so wonderful if you could share your approach to weaning. I have a very similar situation with my daughter (17 months old) cosleeping and still waking up every few hours in the night to breastfeed. She also breastfeeds regularly, when I am not at work. I feel quite paralysed and exhausted. Originally, I wanted to do the Thomas method and have our children almost back-to-back, but I have found everything so physically and mentally challenging. All the mothers I know around me definitely think that our situation is wrong in some way, so I find your experiences really helpful and informative, as I don't know any other parents in an attachment parenting framework. I think you are both wonderful and wish that I had as much grace/good heart about the hardships.
Just finished reading Glass Houses!! Dude so beautiful and amazing 👏 what an intriguing time we live in and you captured all of it, mental health, spirituality, social media, good old fashioned fuckin', aaalllll of iiittt ❤🌈✨ thank you so much for this blessed and incredibly unique tale. Also, your writing is improving with each book. Take your time but I'll be waiting on baited breath for your next... well anything honestly ;) Also, youngest of 5 here and I think as long as your connection with yourself and your partner stays strong, that sets the example for your kids and gives them the subconscious sense that they are safe and unconditionally loved. With a balance of patience, humor, and forgiveness, you're pretty much golden 🤗💞
I'm looking forward to basically all your experiences with life and parenthood and everything. I'm not really interested in the beauty stuff, but everything else is a sure watch! Congratulations again on baby number 2, I'm hoping to get pregnant soon, too! Baby 1 is 12 months right now, and I'm feeling the same way as you. Once I gain too much independance back I surely won't have a second child, so it's now (or soon) or never. Plus, me and my partner both had siblings two years older and we loved it! Whereas it took quite a bit of time for both of us to be more of a sibling and less of a second partner with our eight years younger siblings.
Hey Melanie, have you looked into doing EMDR therapy to deal with your traumatic birth (or what seems to be trauma)? It’s trauma focused therapy that helps you desensitise from the intensity of the memories.
My first was similar to urs. But my other 3 where fine. Don't worry urself so much everything will go how it's suppose to. Keep u guys iny prayers. Thanx for sharing
Hope it all goes well. I have 2 kids. 1 c section due to baby being breech and 2 forceps as they realised when I was pushing baby was back to back. I bed shared with both my kids and still do with my youngest. It was the best option for us as we got the most sleep. We always said we would have 3 but decided after the 2nd one we were done mainly due to finances and space.
My friend used a birthing center for her first. She had similar experiences with feeling rushed and had some 2nd degree tearing I believe. She gave birth at her midwive’s home for her second and had a much easier time. And a much better postpartum overall. Another women I know had to have an induction for her 3rd but had a home birth for her 4th, her first boy, and said it was the easiest birth she’s had.
Were you nervous about getting pregnant during breastfeeding? Did you use protection in order to not conceive on your first ovulation before your period started?
I had my scheduled my c- section a week 1/2 ago with my daughter. The healing process has actually not been bad at all. Only felt pain for about 48 hours after. However I was so drugged during the actual procedure that I wasn’t all that aware when my daughter was born. It took about 4 hours for the medicine to ware off enough for me to not feel like the turtle from finding Nemo.
I don’t know if this is helpful but my grandma had 3 kids and had a much easier experience with home birth (because the hospital basically left her with trauma - feeling rushed and out of control and scared). She recommended my mum also do a home birth and my mum ended up giving birth without pain (twice), after reading that a part of labour pain is due to feeling afraid and the wrong muscles tensing up (like the vaginal walls). This is simply anecdotal and of course could be coincidence but just thought I’d share as you asked for our experiences 😊
Hi Melanie, my first birth was August 2020 in middle of COVID, they induced me because I was overdue (which in hindsight wasn't really a reason to induce since baby was perfectly healthy) my labour was a lot more intense because of this, I had no break in-between my contractions and it was quick, she was 9 pounds I was pushing on my back and they cut me to get her out. I was completely out of control and panicked. My second labour I decided not to be induced simply because I'm overdue I opted for increased monitoring which I didn't even know was a thing, but yeah I went into labour at 42 weeks and it we as a night and day experience so much better!! Second labours are definitely easier as your body already knows what it's doing good luck you will be amazing I worried all through my second pregnancy about labour and how my first born will adjust but I worried for nothing the labour was amazing and the bond between my little ones is amazing to, they have a 16 month age gap and also tandem feeding which is a whole other thing 🤣😂 good luck xxx
The day my baby sister was born my younger brothers and I got to meet her at the hospital. When I showed my youngest brother the baby in the crib and told him: look this is your baby sister! He looked at me quite annoyed and answered: I don‘t now her! How true.. 🤣
So excited for you guys!! Your son is bound to find the adjustment from being an only child to a sibling strange but kids adapt 🥰 When it comes to age gaps, I feel it totally depends on the kid's personalities and it can change over time ( I don't have kids, but this is from my own experience and speaking to friends who have kids with varied age gaps) My sister is 5 years younger and we've always been close, but there were periods of time where the gap felt big and we didn't have much in common, because we were at different stages of- but now at 21 and 25 we're closer than ever! Yet other friends who have the same age gap say they're not close at all with their sibling, and I know lots of people who have kids lose in age and fight like cat and dog 🤣 Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly and you have a better experience with giving birth to this little one 💚
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When I was two and a half my sister was born. I was so excited about it (according to my mom). About two weeks after she came home I turned to my mom and said “mommy when is sister going home?” And she said “this is her home. She’s going to live with us forever.” And according to her I looked at her with a look of horror and said “ohhhhh.” First children’s lives do change and they will feel different but I’m definitely glad I had her growing up. ☺️
My older brother did that too apparently with my older sister, he asked if they could bring her back to the hospital 😂
My friend asked to take his new little sister to the dump when she was brought home :D
I did something similar with my younger siblings. They are twins and I was 3 and excited for them to come but once they arrived, I kept asking my mom to put them back in her tummy.
my older brother was apparently super excited when I was born, but a few months later tried to suffocate me with a pillow... (presumably I was crying and he just wanted to muffle the noise but being less than 3 years old he did not go about it very strategically)
I can't speak for everyone, but I will say with my unplanned c section, my recovery was actually really good. I was back to driving after a week, virtually no pain after 2 weeks. Recovery isn't always as bad as some people say, especially when you don't have issues going to the bathroom haha
Yeah from my very limited experience, one of my best friends had a c section and recovery for her was fairly easy and quick, whereas another best friend had a third degree tear and her recovery has been much, much more of a struggle.
My brother was born when I was almost 2 and to prepare me my mam got me a baby doll. When my mam would change his nappy I would change my babies nappy, when my mam would feed him I’d feed my baby, etc. My mam said it really helped with me not feeling left out. Congratulations to you and Thomas! 😁
I had a c-section (failed induction, basically zero labor, almost at 42 weeks) and honestly it was a beautiful experience and I recovered so quickly, walking around the room that afternoon! I know every body is different, just wanted to share another perspective. Best of luck!!
Thank you for sharing! When the time comes, I will be having a planned c-section and it’s always lovely to hear positive stories about it ♥️
I was in the same situation: my son was born at 41+6, they tried inducing for four days but I never "really" went into labour (had contractions for four days, but my cervix never really budget, even when they managed to break my waters). It was not the birth I had intended (I had planned for an umedicated homebirth), but the team was funny and sweat, and it went by so fast.
I was extremely tired afterwards but it wasn't all due to the c-section, and my wound ended up healing very quickly.
I'm very sad I never went into labour, but I'm OK with how my baby was born and we're both very well ❤
i really recommend watching taylor r’s video on chinese confinement after birth! it was really eye opening to see how different cultures value that time after birth for the mother to heal and the baby to be bonded to the parents ! xx
I kept my first a surprise. And kept sentimental newborn things. And when I got pregnant with my second two years later I decided to find out the sex - ANOTHER GIRL!!! I bonded with her so much and when I met her it was just MAGIC. x
God that manic laughter from Thomas just killed me, reading the question and then just immediately cackling was hilarious.
As much as I respect, fully respect, not asking anyone about having a child, cause you never know someone's situation, NOT ASKING side effect is rebuilding a tabou. These videos, openly sharing life struggles and behinds of decision making process are so, sooo... important. Thank you
woooow the quality is insane 😨😨 so crispy clear
I had an unplanned c section after a 7 hour long labour with 2 minute contractions, because my son was in a bad position. After the birth, the first 3-4 days were hard, but after that I felt great! I healed fast. 💚
Doubt you'll see this but I'm due my first baby in a week and honestly rewatching your labour video is what's helping me so much because depsite the fact I can see it's hard and you're in pain you managed it so well at home and it genuinely seemed like such a natural experience, I hate that it didn't end that way for you but honestly I've rewatched it about 3 times in the past month and it's really helped me plan and show my husband what kind of birth I imagine for us
If you DO NOT want to get pregnant please always use protection. There are not 100% safe days, not even during period. There might be young girls watching this video thinking that an app can prevent a pregnancy, well, it does not 😉
Yep!!! Tracking your cycle is great in so many ways but it will never be a fail safe way of avoiding pregnancy.
There is no fail way there is always a risk. Tracking via NC is a safe option. You can only get pregnant when you are ovulation so there are 100% safe days.
@@elin6053
It's possible to get pregnant outside of your predicted fertile window because timing of ovulation may differ each month and sperm lives in the body for several days. Therefore, though more unlikely at some points, pregnancy can result from unprotected sex at any time during your menstrual cycle.
Finding out feels like 2 celebrations and surprises...finding out and the surprise of meeting them. The one time we didn't find out in 6 kids, we regretted it a lot. Pregnancy was less exciting, definite less bond early on and when baby is born, that is so big, the gender feels like an afterthought so we felt like we lost out on one of the best celebrations of the pregnancy. That's why I never get why people say they get a surprise. It's like losing one surprise and one of the 2 big celebrations when not finding out. There was not one thing better not finding out, which my OBs said is how they find most parents of multiple kids who did both feel.
as the oldest out of six kids (so had five younger siblings) I am so grateful for them! having them around as a child was grand and I'm even more grateful now that I'm an adult and they're older. as long as you're aware that a new kid will have an impact and still give him attention and avoid adultification (did have to deal with that as young as five which is rough) being an older sibling will be a great experience
As an older sister with an age gap similar to the one your kids will have, I looked forward to having a little sibling, since my parents explained that the baby would be a friend for me forever, and that I need to love and protect her (i have vivid memories of seeing my baby sister in the clear hospital bassinet, giving her a pink blue and white teddy bear, and standing on my tippy toes to just stroke her cheek with my fingertips - I automatically knew I needed to be gentle and quiet). Something I'd suggest is involving your son with "play" with your little one in any way they can. The only "downside" of having a younger sibling was that there were more rules about how I could move around/behave in a space I wasnt previously sharing (ie. "I know you're excited but dont be so loud you'll scare the baby"). Once my sister could sit up, my parents often had me show her how certain toys/games worked - blowing bubbles has been a family tradition with my grandpa and one I will share with my kids one day (this way I was getting attention, and had a "job" - I also helped mom in the kitchen - stood on a chair with a big apron and everything haha). With two such kind warm parents like you, I know your little ones will be the best of friends 💚
Best thing about having 2 children: The times when they are very affectionate with each other. Worst thing about having 2 children: The times when they fight and scream at each other. - The closer they are in age the more intense this relationship usually gets. My children are 26 and 28 now. They are very close and love each other dearly. But there have been VERY hard times on the way.
Melanie, darling, I'm so so sorry you had the experience you had with your first birth. It breaks my heart that it happened like that, my heart aches for you. I have every hope and faith that you will find the help and support you need this time round to have the most beautiful, healing birth ❤️
I currently only have 1 child, she was born a couple months after your son. My birth experience (in Canada 🇨🇦) was I went for a 41 week fetal assessment and they discovered I had little to no fluid in my uterus. I then was induced (I did take morphine, then epidural) eventually I was pushing til my daughter's head got stuck on my pelvic bone. I had a choice between suction, forceps or a c-section. My doctor and I both agreed (him for safety me for both safety and exhaustion) on a c-section. So I then had a spinal tap for my emergency c-section. Oh and due to covid my husband couldn't be there until I was admitted (in a room for labour) wishing you a great birth. (Judt remember it's always different ie. Each pregnancy, each birth, and each baby/ child. Happy for you both
My sister and I are 6 years apart in age. She was so happy to welcome me into the world and we have always been close. She used to pet me in my cradle and help give me a bath. I don’t think we’ve ever really fought at all. I remember her reading books to me and us playing games together, she did my make up and my hair, painted my nails. She held my hand at theme parks when I was nervous when it was crowded. I used to spend a lot of time just sitting close to her because I felt comforted by her presence. So much fun, and we’re still super close although we live a sea apart. 💛
My first birth was quick (3.5 h from my first real contraction to baby in my arms). But I had a 4kg/55cm boy with a massive head just like his dad and my birth canal hat two massive tears on both sides up until the cervix. They had to stitch me up for over an hour and it was horrible. I've since forgotten labour pains but I will never forget that horrible feeling of one doctor holding the speculum and the other one sewing me up again... They were very lovely ladies and we all kept making jokes but it was horrendously painful and the pain medication made me hallucinate for at least 12 h after. And I wasn't head over heals in love with my baby right away since everything went so quickly. It took me a few weeks to comprehend what had happened and months to stop feeling guilty for not immediately falling in love with my son.
I was very nervous for my second baby, especially because I was afraid of another tear and another turbo birth. My daughter was smaller than my son and I didn't tare at all. And she was out in 1,5h... But this time I was prepared and I took my time to get to know her. This is the biggest piece of advice I give to pregnant people I know. Don't fell guilty if you don't love your child immediately. We all would throw ourselfs off a cliff for them, but sometimes it takes a little time to heal and to get to know that little person and that's totally okay. All the best from Germany
So happy you're going to have a doula! Doula here, As you mentioned the example risk of baby being born with the umbilical cord around their neck I just wanted to share some info and dispel that myth. They’re actually really common with around a third of babies being born with nuchal cords and although this may sound alarming they are rarely problematic.
As scary as it might look the cord is stretchy, slippery, and padded with Wharton’s jelly to protect the blood vessels that are taking oxygen to the baby (therefore the cord is not ‘choking’ the baby). Bodies really are amazing!
Midwives will follow few quick maneuvers to unravel the cord so nuchal cords are often resolved in a matter of seconds!
Positive hospital/intervention birth story! Woke up at 1am with light contractions, water broke at 3am and everything got more painful. Went into triage at 5am to confirm waters had gone but got sent home as I was a first time mum and ‘probably not far along enough’ was back in at 7:30am writhing in pain and finally got checked out - I was 7cm!
Got moved into the midwife unit and lay down on my side with gas and air for hours. Was 10cm at around 10:30am and got in the birth pool. Midwives noticed an irregular heartbeat after contractions for baby and I was drastically losing energy (only had 2 hours sleep after months of pregnancy insomnia and also no food and only little water for over 12 hours). The charge midwife came and spoke to me and said I would be able to get the baby out myself but it would take a little while and waiting could put baby in distress and cause me more injury so I agreed to be checked by the doctor. Got moved into a different room with a proper hospital bed, in stirrups etc, and ended up having a vacuum delivery, he was born at 2:30pm. I had 2 first degree tears that needed a few stitches.
Wasn’t quite what I planned/hoped for but in the situation they did what was best for me and my boy. I gave informed consent at every step and I felt very well looked after. Honestly the worst part was the cannula they gave me to give me fluids because I was getting dehydrated, I could barely move my left hand until they took it out 7 hours later when I was discharged.
with a c section you have to also think about the long term health implications for both mother and baby. Starting with the lack of microbiome that a baby usually receives on their entrance down the birth canal. That and also higher still birth rate for next baby, with each c section the risk increases.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! And I'm so sorry you had such a negative experience with the end of your previous labor. I really appreciate you talking about it and the ways it is still affecting you mentally and emotionally. Birth and the trauma it can cause are often considered taboo, but it's so important to talk about!
Just wanted to add to those who have had easy recovery from a c-section. My first baby was delivered completely naturally; my second ended up with an emergency c-section. The recovery from the c-section was SO much easier!!
Thank you for sharing your positive c-section experience!!
There's a 16 month age gap between my brother and I. My mother told me she was nervous about how having him would affect me and a doctor told her that the 2 of us would always keep each other company and it was lovely to see that come to fruition over the years
Every single month I was trying I had a strong inkling I was pregnant 😂😂 but I was wrong every time until it finally happened. Really disappointing. Congrats Mel. I'm pregnant too, daughter is 19 months.
I’m so sorry about your hospital experience. A lot of people do end up having to need interventions because of the pressure of needing things to be done at certain points. Some people labour for days. There is so much misinformation. Labouring at home for as long as possible is the best option, in my opinion. Either way I hope you’re able to deal with your trauma and have a healthy labour and birth x
I used trackers and fertile trackers for my last pregnancy and for my pregnancy now it really is a great way to track everything and it nice to be able to predict when you could actually concive. I'm currently 15 weeks with baby number 3 and it still doesn't feel real for me yet , hopefully feel some movements soon to make it reality. Delighted for you both xxx
Having children is the most unbelievable experience, I love my boys I feel so lucky to have my little family, it’s unreal… so blessed ❤️
You need to do a birth debrief! most of pregnancy and preparing for birth is about the inner work. Perceptions of childbirth. Also there's a lot of assumed content in the maternity system. That's why knowledge is power. For example - A nuchal cord (cord around babies neck) isn't an emergency as baby will still be receiving oxygenated blood via the placenta, most mothers instinctively unwind their baby and provided their cord is long enough they will bring them to their chest. (I'm a doula).
I would love video essays from you! Maybe a voice over style with some shots of your day to day life. A close up of the sun shining into a room or a curtain blowing in the wind, comforting things like that. Moments that happen naturally but are so beautiful (plus don't cost you a lot of time to shoot). Also gives you the freedom to stock up on footage without it having to be related to the essay topic saving you time in the long run. I really think this could be an exciting shift for this channel! I always love hearing your perspective on things.
I was 3 when my little sister was born - it's my first and probably most precious memory! Me and my dad outside the hospital picking flowers for my new sister
Loved this catch up! I teared up when you spoke about being trapped in the hospital with no help during covid, I had the same but an emergency c-section 😭 then baby had to go under the lights for jaundice.
We bed shared with a 3 years old and baby, the 3 year would start I'm her own bed but crawl in during the night. I always made sure baby was on the far side next to me, toddler in the middle of us 2 adults and she knew very strictly she was never allowed to go onto baby's side.
My perfect type of video. Real, raw, grounding and just interesting! Xoxox
Our first was an unplanned, emergency c-section and I felt fine after 2 days. I do have a high pain tolerance though and was 22 so maybe that played a role. My second was the unmedicated, vaginal birth of my dreams! I was 37 weeks and could've left the hospital same day if I'd wanted. I hope you have a great, happy and safe 2nd birth! My sons are 23 months apart and it's so fun. We're thinking about #3 once #2 is a year in October :)
I have absolutely nothing to contribute on babies/pregnancy so...video ideas?
- a video essay about why you want to start making video essays
- talk about an interest that you've never made a video about (or at least not in a long time)
- a series of video essays about specific books that inspire you as a writer
- essays about your comfort movies/tv shows with how/if they've changed over time
Would love to see a vid about baby buys, first time due at Christmas and it’s so overwhelming trying to navigate what brands/stuff is worth buying!
I guess I'm a bit confused. Around the timestamps for home birth thirteen minutes or so you say you did your previous labour entirely on gas and air but on your positive birth vlog and on Instagram you said you had a spinal block?
We had exactly the same situation as you with our first birth earlier this year. Baby was facing sideways and I was already starting to tear (diagonally which i didnt even realise was a thing) 😢 after pushing for an hour got taken to theatre and had third degree episiotomy and forceps delivery. Had major blood clots, lost half the blood in my body then was given two units of blood and an iron transfusion. The scariest part was being told they might have to perform a hysterectomy two hours after the birth of my first baby at age 26. Thankfully it didn't get that far and I have a healthy baby girl. Can totally understand your reluctance towards birth. It feels like the stakes are much higher when you already have a little one to think of.
Do you think they should have advised of offered a C-section earlier?
@@powderandpaint14 I was put on a deadline and if I didn't progress to 10cm by then I might have had to have a c-section. Both of us were coping well through the labour though so they felt safe enough to leave me and I trusted their advice. I'm quite glad it didn't come to that because after doing some reading up on postpartum haemorrhages the bleeding could have been worse with a c section.
So excited to watch this video. Here nursing my 8 week old and just nursed my 18 month old to sleep. We had a difficult hospital birth with our first and an amazing home birth with our second. The care I received during pregnancy and after was just wonderful 💫💫💫 I had a postpartum doula for 2 weeks after and this helped with the transition to two under two!! Tandem feeding has helped our toddler take to her little sister in just the most amazing way. No jealousy ❤
I had a 9lb 15 baby naturally and yes he was hard to get out and I was in every position possible but us woman are ABLE to birth big babies! 🤙 I had a second degree tear but nothing awful! my fingers are crossed for you that this birth is better for you and heals your heart ❤️
I can't wait to see how mentally healthy your kids are going to be 😭 I often wonder how different my life would have turned out if I had a better childhood and good parents
We need to keep going despite that. You can always make your life better, even tho is hard sometimes, but it's about not giving up 😿❤ Having good parents and supportive family is a privilege not everybody has, but every little step you'll take, you can be so produ of yourself. It's called strength. Everyone of us was a child once, and everyone has that child in them. Does having bad parents make that child better or worst? Is that a child's fault? Does not every child deserves love? It's not about how we look or how we are. And also even a good parent will make mistakes sometimes, no one is 100% perfect, we are learn to be the best version of ourselves. You can show yourself that you deserve love and good treatment and everything and you can give love to your future child if you'd like to have a child. Generally you can share love and make other's lives and your own better ❤
Thomas describing pregnancy/having more kids as 'it's just great craic', really makes me giggle
I’m pregnant with my second, first was born about a month before yours and second is due about a month after you. I’m so nervous for the birth for the completely opposite reason, first birth was a dream (6 hours from start to finish, mostly at home then he was born in water, no tear etc). Everyone I know and follow have had horrendous birth experiences so I’m so worried the next won’t go as well! I really, truly hope your second birth goes smoothly!!
Since you've been pregnant (both before and now), I've asked my own mom a lot of questions regarding her own pregnancies and planning for kids when she and my dad were expanding our family. I'm 2 yrs and 9.5 months older than my little sister (so slightly bigger age gap than your kids will have), and 27 years later I can honestly say she is the best "gift" my parents ever gave me (dad wanted to have more than one kid so the first wasnt lonely and had a playmate). Oh sure we still drive each other crazy at times, but there is no one else in the world who makes me laugh like she does, who I feel so fiercely protective of, and who I know would have my back (no questions asked).
Expecting our first child In December and freaking out about breastfeeding. Could you do a video talking us through your tips and things that didn't work for you?
Will be praying it all goes well for you. You're glowing. Great video, very educational.
Aren’t you entitled to a post-birth debrief? A midwife should be available to discuss what happened and why - to help you going into your second birth. Ring your maternity ward and request one, if you haven’t already. Much love x
Loved the video and lovely to see both of your faces! So excited for you too! I'd love a video essay about inclusivity and motherhood. I feel this is still something that lacks in conversation. For example, when explaining safe co-sleeping with baby and toddler, you mentioned "father would be here". I suppose I wonder whether you have noticed a hetero-gaze on motherhood and your thoughts on this? You also talk about the risks of pregnancy and birth in this video, and I know this is something Black people face more discrimination and medical risks with!
Ahh thank you so much for answering my question! 💚 I would love to see in future videos how motherhood (and fatherhood!!) maybe changes/not changes you as your second baby comes along, things you've done to ease baby Pan into becoming a big brother etc! Love your videos 💚💚💚
Definitely had a better experience with my second birth than my first! Number one reason was that I was able to labor naturally (no inducement) but it was also because I knew I could do it and I felt much more confident going into the experience! I knew not to fight the pain and to think of each contraction as a wave bringing my baby closer and closer to me.
Your desk is a dream!!!💚💚💚
Congratulations! Currently bf and ttc, would Love if you made an updated bf video as my son is just a few months younger than yours and your motherhood videos really help me
excited for you guys!! may i ask what is that beautiful lipstick you're wearing?
my first birth was 12 hours, failed epidural, pushing for 2 hours, tears, haemorrhaged afterwards. Was just horrible. My second birth i’d do again 10x over, 4 hour labour, just gas and air, pushing for 5-10 minutes, no tears and no haemorrhage. It kind of healed my trauma from my first labour, i hope your second one is much better for you 🤞🏼💗
Love Thomas’ insane laughter. ALSO THUNDERBIRDS 💚
With regards to being close in age and being friends. My brother is 7 years older than me and my sister is 5 years older than me and I dont think I ever felt like we were friends until I was an older teenager/nearly an adult. I always felt like i was just the annoying little sister when I was a child so I probably would have liked to be closer in age. But now me and my sister are so close as adults.
Not sure if it’s an old wives tale, but when my parents were trying for my brother (he’s 38 this year so tracking ovulation wasn’t really a thing back then) it was taking a while. I think trying to conceive around two busy jobs, they were tired and getting a bit stressed and fed up and things weren’t lining up. So my dad and his colleague started chatting at work on their break one day about it taking a while, and my dad’s colleague said to buy something expensive to distract themselves and my mum will get pregnant. So my parents booked a holiday to corfu. And my mum spent the entire holiday reading under a tree/in the shade very pregnant with my brother whilst my dad did windsurfing and whatnot. If they left a week later my mum wouldn’t be able to travel. I think moral of the story is to not put too much pressure on yourselves if things don’t happen quickly
They're already pregnant😄
@@lalalalalalalala8111 I know but it was a comment about natural cycles and ovulation. Not a thing 38 years ago
I’m so happy for you! You have such a beautiful family🤍
I fell pregnant like 2 months after using natural cycles as contraception, and I used it correctly! 🙄😂
omg so scary, i hope you're ok ! not surprised at all though... (not to say you're responsible in any way !!!
@@GloriaTulwan I now have a 4 week old daughter who I adore, but I definitely won't be using natural cycles again!
@@ClareElizabeth97 good luck !!! I'm hope you'll be an amazing parent ❤️
Yessss I'd love more video essays, I loved your video on envy and more researched videos from you would be lovely. But please give us vlogs once in a while 🥺
I wonder if the hospital you delivered at last time has a specific person, usually a midwife who sits down with your notes and talks through your experiences with you. They are usually able to ask the people who were involved with your birth about the decisions which were made as well as talk through all the information in the notes. Just a word of warning, the notes might be filled with a load of medical abbreviations which can make them difficult to understand if you just request as copy. If your hospital offers this service I would really recommend sitting down with someone to go through the notes as they will be able to decode everything for you. Best of luck for the second time around ☺️ xx
There definitely is no perfect time to have a baby! Just so many personal circumstances and factors to consider, and every family is different. I think my personality type/perfectionism, and experience of first baby having reflux and colic, means I'd rather wait until he's at least 4 before considering another (he's 18mo now). A lot of people say they'd rather have them closer in age so they can get back to having more sleep sooner, but I can't imagine anything worse than, 1) having no time to digest or process my thoughts (I feel like now I do at least have some time, just not freedom as still breastfeeding!), 2) being EVEN MORE tired, and 3) not being able to be the mummy I want to be to either child because of points 1 and 2! I'd actually rather stretch the tiredness out longer than have more intense tiredness, but I can say this because I very luckily got pregnant straight away at 26. I also just had this overwhelming feeling as soon as he was born that I just wanted to focus on him, and even if that meant not having another, I was fulfilled enough by him that it wouldn't matter (though I might still be sad). I also have my husband and his brother's relationship to remind me that an age gap doesn't mean they won't get along (they're 6 years apart and love each other to bits!). I do spend most if not every day wondering if I will have another though, because I'd like to be able to. I feel like I need to mentally prepare/move house etc to enable it to be possible, but keep thinking 'what if I don't and I could focus on something else sooner?'.
Hi Melanie, just wanted to share that I had a third degree tear with my first and nothing at all with my second, I had a much more positive birth experience second time round. I was trying to decide about elective c section for the same reasons as you and very glad that I didn’t. It’s a hard decision though ❤️
Will you get a nanny? One thing they say when you introduce the siblings to each other is don't hold the baby so the 1st kid doesn't get territorial.
Just watched ur wedding video and it was magic. Thank you for sharing it with us
My son is currently 19 months old and we have just welcomed a baby girl 2 weeks ago. My first birth experience was 6 hours laboring at home and another 12 in hospital. I had 2 dural punctures which is a complication when they are trying to give an epidural so I wasn’t able to have one. They broke my water’s and gave me oxytocin to try and speed up the birth as much as possible. Even though it was long i was able to push in all different kinds of positions with my husband and had no catheter as I didn’t have an epidural so i did really enjoy the birth. I was very anxious the second time especially when considering the option of an epidural as i had lot’s of problems after the birth because of it (i had to be on bed rest, headaches, etc). I signed the consent form but decided that i would prefer a completely natural birth if possible. This time i started with contractions, i waited a few hours at home and when we got to the hospital i was 8cm dilated, within 20 minutes i needed to push, it was the perfect birth. The second time it will be a lot easier trust me, your body knows what it’s doing and this time you know what you need to do. Congratulations!
Have watched you through your whole first pregnancy and experience and so happy for you now in your second. I hope you can have the birth experience that you want 💜 So great that labour was so good but such a shame the end was so awful. I am now 35 weeks pregnant with my first child 😊 I am following hypnobirthing and feeling overall confident and excited for labour and birth *except* am a bit nervous for the medicalisation of it all, especially being in Singapore where deliveries are very much doctor rather than midwife led. But, currently trying to be as relaxed and confident as possible that everything will be amazing, and that I can be as empowered and in control as much as possible.
Thunderbirds!!! OMG loved it when I was growing up 💗
Love the content and your channel, i find it very very helpful in so many ways!
Thank you soo much for answering my question 😊 so happy for you and your family
‘It’s just good craic’
fair enough 😂
I had a big baby too, 9lbs 11oz 🙈 I tried naturally but after 3 days of contractions and stalled dilation I had to have a c section, it was the right thing to do and it was still an amazing experience! I’m hoping for a natural birth next time and will be more assertive about what I want. I’d love to hear more about your doula experience, best of luck xx
It would be so wonderful if you could share your approach to weaning. I have a very similar situation with my daughter (17 months old) cosleeping and still waking up every few hours in the night to breastfeed. She also breastfeeds regularly, when I am not at work. I feel quite paralysed and exhausted. Originally, I wanted to do the Thomas method and have our children almost back-to-back, but I have found everything so physically and mentally challenging. All the mothers I know around me definitely think that our situation is wrong in some way, so I find your experiences really helpful and informative, as I don't know any other parents in an attachment parenting framework. I think you are both wonderful and wish that I had as much grace/good heart about the hardships.
Always love it when you upload a new video💓💓💓makes my day!!
Just finished reading Glass Houses!! Dude so beautiful and amazing 👏 what an intriguing time we live in and you captured all of it, mental health, spirituality, social media, good old fashioned fuckin', aaalllll of iiittt ❤🌈✨ thank you so much for this blessed and incredibly unique tale. Also, your writing is improving with each book. Take your time but I'll be waiting on baited breath for your next... well anything honestly ;)
Also, youngest of 5 here and I think as long as your connection with yourself and your partner stays strong, that sets the example for your kids and gives them the subconscious sense that they are safe and unconditionally loved. With a balance of patience, humor, and forgiveness, you're pretty much golden 🤗💞
I'm looking forward to basically all your experiences with life and parenthood and everything. I'm not really interested in the beauty stuff, but everything else is a sure watch!
Congratulations again on baby number 2, I'm hoping to get pregnant soon, too! Baby 1 is 12 months right now, and I'm feeling the same way as you. Once I gain too much independance back I surely won't have a second child, so it's now (or soon) or never. Plus, me and my partner both had siblings two years older and we loved it! Whereas it took quite a bit of time for both of us to be more of a sibling and less of a second partner with our eight years younger siblings.
Hey Melanie, have you looked into doing EMDR therapy to deal with your traumatic birth (or what seems to be trauma)? It’s trauma focused therapy that helps you desensitise from the intensity of the memories.
For some reason I’d convinced myself your son was named Harry and it’s the only name you’ve dispelled 😂 great video
For bed sharing i would recommend the lullaby trust!
So sweet to see you guys!
That whole laughing bit about 28 minutes in omg I lost it!!!
My first was similar to urs. But my other 3 where fine. Don't worry urself so much everything will go how it's suppose to. Keep u guys iny prayers. Thanx for sharing
thank you for answering my question. I have been watching for you for about 5 years.
Can I just say you both look GLOWING! 😍
Hope it all goes well. I have 2 kids. 1 c section due to baby being breech and 2 forceps as they realised when I was pushing baby was back to back. I bed shared with both my kids and still do with my youngest. It was the best option for us as we got the most sleep. We always said we would have 3 but decided after the 2nd one we were done mainly due to finances and space.
My friend used a birthing center for her first. She had similar experiences with feeling rushed and had some 2nd degree tearing I believe. She gave birth at her midwive’s home for her second and had a much easier time. And a much better postpartum overall.
Another women I know had to have an induction for her 3rd but had a home birth for her 4th, her first boy, and said it was the easiest birth she’s had.
Were you nervous about getting pregnant during breastfeeding? Did you use protection in order to not conceive on your first ovulation before your period started?
I love the idea of agreeing on a number of pregnancies and not children :)
I’d love another video on law of attraction/ positive mindset 😊 love your vids 💚
Hi Melanie. So happy for you and Thomas 💜
Loved this !
I had my scheduled my c- section a week 1/2 ago with my daughter. The healing process has actually not been bad at all. Only felt pain for about 48 hours after. However I was so drugged during the actual procedure that I wasn’t all that aware when my daughter was born. It took about 4 hours for the medicine to ware off enough for me to not feel like the turtle from finding Nemo.
I don’t know if this is helpful but my grandma had 3 kids and had a much easier experience with home birth (because the hospital basically left her with trauma - feeling rushed and out of control and scared). She recommended my mum also do a home birth and my mum ended up giving birth without pain (twice), after reading that a part of labour pain is due to feeling afraid and the wrong muscles tensing up (like the vaginal walls). This is simply anecdotal and of course could be coincidence but just thought I’d share as you asked for our experiences 😊
You guys are couple goals.
Hi Melanie, my first birth was August 2020 in middle of COVID, they induced me because I was overdue (which in hindsight wasn't really a reason to induce since baby was perfectly healthy) my labour was a lot more intense because of this, I had no break in-between my contractions and it was quick, she was 9 pounds I was pushing on my back and they cut me to get her out. I was completely out of control and panicked. My second labour I decided not to be induced simply because I'm overdue I opted for increased monitoring which I didn't even know was a thing, but yeah I went into labour at 42 weeks and it we as a night and day experience so much better!! Second labours are definitely easier as your body already knows what it's doing good luck you will be amazing I worried all through my second pregnancy about labour and how my first born will adjust but I worried for nothing the labour was amazing and the bond between my little ones is amazing to, they have a 16 month age gap and also tandem feeding which is a whole other thing 🤣😂 good luck xxx
I love Thomas's laugh. He is such a bear
The day my baby sister was born my younger brothers and I got to meet her at the hospital. When I showed my youngest brother the baby in the crib and told him: look this is your baby sister! He looked at me quite annoyed and answered: I don‘t now her!
How true.. 🤣
So excited for you guys!! Your son is bound to find the adjustment from being an only child to a sibling strange but kids adapt 🥰 When it comes to age gaps, I feel it totally depends on the kid's personalities and it can change over time ( I don't have kids, but this is from my own experience and speaking to friends who have kids with varied age gaps) My sister is 5 years younger and we've always been close, but there were periods of time where the gap felt big and we didn't have much in common, because we were at different stages of- but now at 21 and 25 we're closer than ever! Yet other friends who have the same age gap say they're not close at all with their sibling, and I know lots of people who have kids lose in age and fight like cat and dog 🤣 Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly and you have a better experience with giving birth to this little one 💚
Emergency c-section here and recovery wasn't bad at all. I really had no pain because of the painkillers.