This actually explains a lot. I've never been a guy who gets loads of matches but generally speaking I was able to get a date every so often and sometimes those dates would be interesting and exciting and go somewhere. But over the last year or two I've noticed a shift. I'm getting even fewer matches, the online conversations are less engaging, and then IF I get a date nowadays it seems like nobody is very emotionally available. From my end it just feels like the other person is going through the motions and not all that invested in what's going on. Over and over again I'll get 1-3 dates and then get the "You know, I just don't think we are meant for each other" text. I don't think it's been me, I look the same, same sense of humor, same sort of profile. But there's just been this shift in the experience of dating
Jesus my dude are you ME? My story is similar although kinda has some differences. I was 18-19 when I really started wanting to have a gf. That was 2011 and it's when I started using OLD. Back then I got very little attention/responses from girls. Very little potential of even a date. But when I got a date, it would start a relationship. So first two girls were kinda practive-gfs even though I didn't treat them like that but that's what it was really. But then in late 2012 I met a great girl and we were together 1.5 year and I regret dumping her then. Since then, my responses online were getting more frequent (still not great), I was getting more dates etc. but really very few women would get my interest or be interested in LTR/dating. I would get friendzoned/ghosted/they would turn out to be catfish. I got a OLD burnout. But then I tried cold approaching and in 2022 after less than 10 tries and less than 1 month I met my (now-ex) girlfriend. We broke up last december and I started using OLD apps again and OMG it';s even worse. I feel like no woman there is worth it/emotionally available/stable mentally. I am starting to think of doing cold approach again, too bad I don't live in a city now. I want to give up on OLD.
First of all, kudos to you for being transparent and not putting up a front like you have it all figured out just because you’re a dating coach 👍 I’ve been using dating apps since my mid 30’s and it’s gotten progressively worse and worse and now at 43, I’ve realized it’s a very bad return on investment. It programs you to always want the next best thing and really hinders connection. We can’t outsmart the algorithms and it’s designed to keep you coming back. Aside from the horrible ratios and ghosting and catfishing, there’s also your value as a person which cannot be conveyed through a few photos and prompts. People that swipe left on you very well may give you a chance if you had met in person. Your value as a man is way higher in real life. That’s why dating apps can create resentment and low self esteem because guys think it’s a reflection of the real world. At my age, I feel like my window of opportunity is closing so I’m all about action now. I still have the apps but it’s just a supplement and I go out to bars and join classes and hobbies. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Last weekend I had a same day cancellation, a no show for a facetime by women in their late 30’s. It just shows that everyone is on the same hamster wheel. I also did a speed dating event and vast majority of girls there mentioned that they were sick of the apps. In any event, we must keep trucking forward and adapt. My suggestion is to get out there and stop relying on the apps, hoping that “the one” is just one swipe away. If something isn’t working you need to take action for a different result. Good luck!
Cheers mate - Yeah I think if I'm to be the best coach I can be, then transparency is pretty important - Definitely going ot return to cold approaching.
I get matches dates etc etc. I’m tired of having to drive the conversations. Woman have too many options and I don’t want time put the time in anymore.
Nice video. I’m a woman who has used dating apps for like 15 years with breaks here and there for relationships and I do think the culture of apps is difficult and has been.
I deleted my online dating account last week and uninstalled the app. I've decided to simply go and do the things I like more and to join some clubs to meet more people, my thought is that I'm likely to find someone better suited by going to a music event I like, going to running or walking clubs, participating in sports events because there's always a lot of time before and after to talk with people. You can get to know them or their friends with a bit of effort.
The problem is really obvious...go on 100 online dates...then ask yourself how many of those people you'd have asked out if you'd met them at a party...my guess is less than 10...so the VAST majority of the time you sit down across somebody who you know you have no interest in from the get go OR it becomes really clear very quickly that you don't have a future together and the grind of that wears you down. Add in the repetitive nature of "go for coffee" or "go for drinks" and dating just stops being fun.
YESS I'm in the same boat! I actually started doing online dating 10 years ago because I was getting frustrated with the ROI I was getting from cold approach (hundreds of approaches and I'd get one date if I was lucky). When I was able to get my online dating system down, I was able to get 3 dates a week consistently for many years. I went pretty hard at it - having multiple apps, constantly resetting accounts,etc. But it has only been recently (the last few months), that I started to get really burnt out from online dating apps. Scheduling time out of my day to meet a girl who may not have chemistry with me, then being stuck in the convo for an hour or two (whereas in cold approach I could literally just walk away mid-conversation and both parties would forget LOL). Or hitting it off and really having a connection with a girl and she ghosts me. So I recently for fun went out the other night to do cold approach after years of not doing it (actively with the intent to do it, that is ). And boy it was fun!! I noticed that as I've gotten older, I seem to get way more attraction and my ratio of approaches to numbers/dates has gone down considerably (a good thing). Granted I don't have the same energy that I did 10 years ago to approach every single person at a bar but it was a really fun experience. I'm thinking of re-approaching cold approach again and taking a short break from online dating.
My issue is guys want to sleep with me very quickly while simultaneously having a problem with women with high body counts/or women's promiscuity. Usually by the third date people expect sex. Just to be clear I pay for separate meals and most dates are coffee dates or brunch.
Yeah that's a definite double standard - and a lot of the 'red pill' ideologies that are getting out there amongst men are perpetuating really really dumb ideas about women and with sexual partners. It's upsetting for everyone because a rumour like that hurts both men and women and it's completely baseles and childish.
A guy who has options and is considered attractive won't wait for the third date for sex. Only beta males worry about body counts. These are guys to avoid and you should thank them they told you early on so you don't waste your time.
> My issue is guys want to sleep with me very quickly while simultaneously having a problem with women with high body counts/or women's promiscuity. How can you be sure that those are the same guys? It's not fair to just assume it. Although, if you don't like a person enough to check if you are compatible physically, why do you schedule a third date then? > These average looking and average earning guys Oh, this times when everybody seems that they deserve something above average...
I think the issues you bought up are a societal issue. Women are frustrated because high quality men don’t want a long term relationship at a young age. I think the “uni /college experience” at a young age is what caused this being able to get a new person every other day. Men are frustrated because girls are very picky right now and will only match and sleep with a very niche amount of men. They have so many men liking their profiles so they have so much choice and only chose the best.
So it wasn’t just me then. Deleted all the apps about a month ago cause I was feeling extremely burned out and like it would never work out anyway. The thing you mentioned about meeting people that are kinda meh is definitely a huge problem because enough of that and you get kinda frustrated. And yes, having lots of matches doesn’t make it easier, since now you have to choose who to invest time and effort in and often that choice was poor. The shotgun approach doesn’t really work either, cause then you just waste time with no result. I also feel like people hop from app to app, expecting something different, but this only creates more option overload where you end up choosing no one. I think the book “ how to not die alone “ has a great breakdown of the problems with dating nowadays, might check that out if you don’t know it already.
I am a first-time viewer of your channel and would like to praise you for your quality guidance! It's so refreshing. As a young woman, I relate 100% to what you said about our experience around the 5:30 mark. I am disenchanted with online dating, and feel as if finding a man who is emotionally available and ready for commitment is just a matter of luck, not effort. Men tell me they are looking for the same thing I am (and sometimes specify they want it with me), and then behave avoidantly and sometimes deceitfully. It is baffling, heartbreaking, and is further diminishes my trust in the men I date. I see now there's a knock-on effect for all of the men I date subsequently. At this point, if a man shows any sign of avoidance or lying, I leave the relationship. I am much more critical about that type of behavior, which is probably a positive thing, but probably also means men will get cut out unnecessarily because I have misinterpreted their behavior and they don't have the language to explain what is going on when I ask for an explanation. I also have pondered whether there's been a shift in the dating scene over the last couple of years that I am just not adjusting to. I don't have the answers, but if you ever figure it out, I will be watching!
Thank you for that Kyla ! I'm literally planning a podcast with a fellow dating coach who has also experienced a big shift in the dating landscape the last few years so definitely tune in for that
I feel the same way. I never had a time where online dating was good for me. I started it in 2017. I meet with many women, but it ends up in me being ghosted, them liking me but me not liking them, me settling for a subpar woman because I am frustrated about the online dating experience, etc lol. I even meet average women who are so entitled that they expect me to pick them up and pay for everything on the first meet, I mean, I don’t even know this woman, I don’t even know if I like her, she is a stranger. I think online dating has put casual dating on steroids and people are slowly realising that we all just need to get married to one person, start a family and live happily ever after. I think people need to realise the reality of pair bonding and that casual dating is at odds with this biological trait we have evolved.
Thanks for the video. I had this moment so many times that you are sitting there on a date feeling like wasting your time. And like the grass is greener on the other side, you look at other women in the bar with their dates and wish you could go out with them. I know these amazing women are out there. And in December I had a great month with lots of cool dates using the paid version of Bumble. But eventually it ran dry, because the city I live in it rather small (400,000 people). After summer I'm gonna give Hinch a go. I use these online dating apps in phases and combine it with going out.
I just deleted the last dating app I had on my phone a few hours before you uploaded this video. The time investment you have there is not good enough to what you get in return.
Absolutely feel the same. I’m completely burnt out. I dated someone for a few months last year and they were an amazing person. It didn’t work out and 7 months on I’ve just become completely burnt out and depressed from dating apps. I’ve also become a very flakey person on them as well making me a red flag. Going to take a break, wonder if it will actually be for good.
I'm getting burned out. I feel like when you get into a chat via text that every message you send has to be a homerun. After being ghosted so many then I start opening messages in ways I normally wouldn't. Texting seems like a chess match.
I feel the same burnout as everyone else. Mine is I get a lot of people interested on these apps, but I’m just so tired of the get to know you chit-chat over and over again one after the other. It’s like an actor that has to do a press junket for a film and gets asked the same questions repeatedly and you have to act as if you’re hearing it for the first time. It’s just my interest level in it isn’t there. Or the messages start off back and forth but after a couple days starts to die off. Either you reply less and less or they do. Then that’s that. I’ve had more successes in the past just meeting people while out and about. Those were also easier because what you see is what you get. No one has to worry if the pics look like the person or not since that seems to bother some people. You can also nail down mannerisms and communication style right off the bat.
Yeah I've always found in person approach much more fun... and rewarding. Although I have to say, after I made this video, I switched the women I'd match wtih and date to exclusively Latin women, thus cutting out mostly Australian women, and my experience improved dramatically - women were making an effort, being engaged with me etc.
Thanks to Covid i took a nice 2 year break from online dating and dating in general, been back recently and certainly notice a total lack of interest from women and myself lol. So been reflecting on this a lot this week, and my conclusion is that dating apps are primarily for hookups so no one should be using it hoping for a relationship. If casual's not your thing then you use that energy in social circle dating. So time to join a gym, become a regular at the library or whatever place of interest, join clubs and meetups, etc. Online dating's dead as it should be for the mental well being of people.
The problem is it's hard to be transparent. A lot of guys try to be honest and end up being either flaked on, ghosted or dropped after just 1 message on the apps. I know a lot of women are "tired of the games" and I get it. But I am sorry in today's dating market you pretty much have no choice but to game women due to the amount of attention they got on average. There is a woman I am talking to that I am legit interested in. I literally am playing the game of not responding too quickly to messages and making it seem like I got stuff going on in life which to be fair I do for the most part. But it really is a total shame that in order to keep someone interested I have to run a bit of avoidant attachment aka red pill game just to keep her interested. And yes I feel like crap doing it but I honest to God feel like I have no choice and it sucks.
Yeah you're not entirely wrong here... For me, it's the fact that, to get the best chat to date ratio and avoid flaking, it's best to set up a date super-fast - but I don't really want ot, I want to verify if I'm going to even like them first. But if I do that, flaking become much more common.
Thanks for sharing man. It seems that these apps aren’t producing the same kind of frustration for men and women. I did a test and created a female profile “Maria 45” with a picture of a Gorilla. Next morning, I had 400 likes. This is not only overwhelming for women but it gives them a false ego boost. As for men, we swipe 17000 times and get 200 likes, half of them being probably bots. So we tend to feel discouraged and unworthy. This only shows that dating apps aren’t rewarding at all.
I've found it easier to meet people out and about these days. I think everyone has burnout. Meeting people at a bar/art gallery.... takes away the formality of going on a date. If your first contact with the person, is the real person and not the highly edited, handful of 10 year old Facebook photos. And your opening conversation isn't "hows your week?", "Hi", "Insert lame copy and paste joke", it feels like a special and personal interaction. Since quarantine has been largely lifted I think people want real life, personal interactions, over apps.
One thing that has helped with my single friends is to, as early in the chatting process as possible, get on a facetime chat or (bare minimum) a phone call. A lot of chemistry can be assessed in real-time conversation--people with chemistry naturally develop a certain cadence and flow in their conversation, and this isn't something that can be assessed over texting. It'll also let you know if they're using 20 filters in their profile pictures. If the facetime chat goes well, and only if it goes well, set up a real date. I'm told this filters out a good 50-60% and saves a lot of time.
Unfortunately, most women dont' want to do this - the ghost rate when you ask for a phone or video chat before a date is about 50% - I wish more women wanted to do this, becuase it would be an awesome way to save time.
Last week I also had a burnout. I've been talking to dozens of girls and went on a date with some. Then the last one looked like a 8 on the photos and was a 5-6 in real. So I said fuck it I just pick up girls in real world. Girls I like from the start.
@@ifeelhalfnaked484 I feel like it's a waste of time. If I spend that 1 hour a day with meeting girls on the street, bars, etc or even working out I'll be better off in the long run.
@@ifeelhalfnaked484 Yeah I always went out besides that but it does two things: - giving me false hope with the prettier girls online (they almost never go on a date with me) and therefore decreasing my motivation to go up to girls in real life - taking a lot of time which I could spend with other things which improve me
I feel the same burnout. When you get too many matches being a funny,lighthearted and charming guy with 20matches in rotation is kinda exhausted. last year I got terrible profile,I got few matches and my matches wasnt interested in me, so I decide get off the dating game and to improved my looks, game, status,money and I did some photoshoot and activities and after a year of hardwork my matches in bumble increase dramatically just a 1st week in bumble I got burnout too many ladies sending me messages I cant barely entertain them all. my weekend this july is fullybooked of 1st date I am planning to leave bumble for 2weeks or a month because of burnout and get back again
Well.. I feel the same. BUT, I'm 37yo, had a long relationship before, actually was married with her. Afterwards I had two kids with a girl I am not with anyone (although the kids are my life and most important thing). Between that I experienced an awesome time in tinder, met incredible women and so on. Hearing you and reflecting on my personal experience, it comes clear to me that the issue here is that deep inside you don't want to find a woman for a long term relationship. Than, your mind tricks you to find problems on anu woman you have in front of you. You'll never find someone perfect, but if you're not opened for good enough, frustration is what you'll get.
I truly deeply believe I'm self aware enough to know the difference between myself picking problems to pick on because I don't really want a realtionship and I'm not meeting great women. Don't forget, even going back 4 years, this problem didn't exist - so your great experiences which were all some time ago aren't good proof that things aren't different now.
I’ve felt the same way right away since I started dating again after ending a long term relationship a few years ago. It’s been real hard to get into wading through the sea of attractive strangers on the tiny phone screen. My opinion? I think online dating as well as social media is ending it’s honeymoon phase. Like the early internet, in the beginning it was a fun new thing and almost a small niche community with like minded people, but now EVERYONE is on it and it’s overloaded with strangers that you’d never vibe with. But that’s not all. There is also the fact that online dating and social media in general is a business that commodified our instinctual desires. Commodifying our relationships with people is bound to strip them down to the bare minimum input-output feedback loops because building relationships is something that cannot be turned into a commodity. Fulfilling relationships are something we mutually create with face to face and physical contact. I think it’s a manifestation of the same thing this old guy was ranting about 40 years ago: th-cam.com/video/JlN2o-Wrra8/w-d-xo.html As for solutions, I think you’re on the right track with going back to bars and pubs. I think people are becoming isolated from one another and face to face contact is key. I think singles-focused meet ups like speed dating or group activities or especially volunteering are something people want even though they don’t know it. Even if people aren’t getting laid they’ll still have a good time anyway. They can open up, relax and bond over the things they do together and has potential to build all kinds of relationships and networks.
Both you and video dude are ignoring individual responsibility. It's not the apps or the algorithms creating this environment, it's the people's shitty behaviour. Every poor, comfortable decision an individual makes adds to the pile. The apps don't ghost, flake, dump, stalk, intimidate, use, lie or cheat on people. And the people you meet in pubs and hobby clubs are the same people as on the dating apps, just more constrained by social norms.
Needed to see this video. Deleted the apps a couple weeks ago, I agree its like a dynamic shift/bear market ... idk something just isn't functional about the landscape right now. Gonna go to meetups and just be in public more. Getting out the house.
Once a great dating coach, Mr Locario who directed me to this channel, said that online dating is not easier just more convenient and you should only do it as a supplement to more traditional methods you are using. The biggest issue I see with women is that they are looking for a relationship. Maybe it would work with someone from work or your social circle where you already got to know the person quite a bit but definitely not with online dating. It takes a long time to figure out if you are compatible with someone. If you go with a relationship mindset to first dates you are setting yourself up for failure. Realistic expectations is the key to do something consistently and not burn out. Cold approaching is a huge numbers game. Online dating is 100 times more. If you don't like the odds of the lottery don't play it.
My biggest complaint is emotional unavailability with dates that have gone exceptionally well where they were hot and then go sub zero cold next day and give the friend speech not cool
My frustration was different. The amount of women that aren't able to handle a conversation. And the amount of women that aren't looking for a partner or dates. Just juggling tons of guys to have attention. The shitty answers to the messages and constant "ghosting". The actual dates went quite well though.
Learn to social dance and go to dance meetups. You have immediate value just from being able to lead a woman in a basic dance. Online dating will always have the problem where women can easily convey their value (booty) and guys have to work much harder to portray value. Women simply have much more passive value. Men generally need to have more active value unless you are a lucky chad.
Matey, thanks for the video - and because you asked, here are some things to think about: 1) Definitely give online dating a break but I think you should actually just give dating a break altogther. This is because your body language, tone of voice, and content of what you say indicate that you're feeling pretty flat. Nothing will truly cover this up if you're out on a date e.g. faking that you feel good or are excited, and even if you do and you pull it off, then it becomes a slippery slop re: insincereity for anything later. You may not have noticed this happening, as you seem pretty cerebral, so I'd say that you'd be pretty good at deceiving yourself too. On being tired, I've met you before and you seemed to have had more energy back then - I think you can easily tell that your batteries are low (the eyes are the window to the soul and seem tired around the eyes and not just in a "I woke up late this morning" sort of way). On a side note, you mentioned that you were sick a while ago and lost a lot of weight - I have a brother with chronic fatigue and he has to factor that into everything now, so perhaps there's a mindfulness/management issue there - I don't know. 2) You may have slid into dating for the wrong reasons without knowing it. - from your video, dating now seems like it should serve some purpose which it is clearly not serving for you, hence the dissatisfaction. Perhaps focus on yourself and get back into your hobbies and just do what you enjoy - get into group activites and forget about all the analysis of human intercations for a bit - it's tiring. Your videos are great but the internet isn't proper human interaction - it's still a solitary exercise. Get into more action, and less thought, if you know what I mean. And try new things until you find something you really enjoy (it may very well be that you enjoy hanging out with the people that you meet rather than the activity per se). 3) So get back on your own path and what you enjoy doing - do that until you feel right in yourself again, then that can be the point of reference for future dates e.g. it's good just meeting new people but once you're doing what you enjoy that can be a basis for future dates e.g. taking her along to the life drawing classes that you signed up to or whatever (you know what I mean) but the end goal is that you're doing what you're enjoying and she just happens to be there too and you're in a place by that point where you don't really care if she makes it along or not, rather than trying to tune chicks and going to whatever bars you been to before, for the sake of dating in and of itself in a repeative fashion - they're different goals if you know what I mean. 4) Also, you mentioned in another video, you're more concenred with finding a longer term partner - is this an underlying source of pressure on your dating now? You have to be okay with fact that you may never find someone again. You have to be okay with fact that you're on your own, and whatever happens, happens. 5) Don't forget that you live in the Gold Coast now. Certain kind of folk up there dude! Peace.
Thanks a lot David - All of this is good advice - I already have subconsciously taken a bit of a step back from dating - focussing back on the things that I Really enjoy, and spending more time on them - I'm not in a rush to find a partner at all - So I'm taking a couple months to step back, focus on work, my photography, learning my fpv drone skills, hang out with friends etc. And heh, I hear you with the GC thing :P
I have experienced this a few times now and the best solution for me is to limit myself to talking to three people that I would like to go on a date with, once I hit that point I stop swiping and don’t start until I get rid of one of the other options.
This is exactly why dating works best for people under 20. They don’t have the luggage of bad experiences and disappointments to drag them down. At that age you see women how you want to see them. This makes you optimistic and fills you with that positive attitude. Then at some point reality catches up with you and your optimism takes a fatal hit.
I call it online dating admin and the feedback loop I call an emotional virus that is passed from one person to the next to the next. Brilliant video fella.
So I don't know you, never seen any of your videos, but this one popped up on my recommendations. I'll be pretty upfront from where I'm coming from. Generally I'm not too keen on dating coaches, dating guides, or the overall atmosphere of dating as a "science", it has always me struck me as far too mechanical, rigid and at times inhuman (for the ones engaging actively in such notions and the ones that would be submitted to those tactics), it always felt as a way to dehumanize oneself and the other person (even if not consciously or maliciously). Leaving aside the whole coaches, guides, etc. I've also been, for a long time, at great odds with the very notion of dating in general. The way, especially, western society forms it's expectations, atmosphere and general attitude towards dating, boxing in such a complex and beautiful thing as a human relationship involving sexuality, affection, vulnerability and love, is rather very simplistic and poor. A desertification of such a potentially enriching and abundant experience of human life, of what it is being human. But I found your complaint to be very much a moment of your own personal realization, maybe not in a detailed elaborated way, but a "something is not right here" insight, and that is very valuable. What you will do with that feeling and how to engage which it seems like something only you can do. IMO the very attitude, of how you put yourself out there in the world, is sure to have effects on yourself and slightly nudge how things are, but this is entirely dependent on each persons critical faculties and the limitations of said faculties, is your worldview one that radically distinguishes man and women or one that approximates the two? If so what are those differences? What about the notions on sexuality? Of human interactions? Pertaining trust and distrust? What shapes our ideals are crucial on how our critical faculties acts. Good thing about critical faculties are that they are always in movement, and everything can be questioned if we are brave enough. Remember, you are a human being, and that entails so many things which we have discovered as a species, and a lot more that are mysterious and inaccessible to anyone but you in the moment of dying, when you look back and see what your life was as a human has been. Time - space is a human experience that we are more or less bound to, as Chet Baker said "there will never be another you" in the whole history of the universe, seems cliche but it is far from inconsequential. I hope my words were not self-help like, it is by far my intention. Just a simple conversation of how I view the things you exposed.
People want to be seen and loved for who they are, but they aren't capable and willing to do same for others. That's why. They want to be great for someone but don't offer same qualities. They want to be loved with mistakes but they don't tolerate if person vote different candidate then they do. Love and feeling of belonging isn't about cutting away what we don't like. It's about loving people as they are. Because if we love person unique as it is. We don't expect them to be different and we don't seek for someone else if they do mistake. We aren't willing to bear pain in relationships. That's why. But pain is important in life. For growth. And more pain person achieve, more is capable to stay with anyone and isn't so choosy. Because then will not seek love or perfection in others but will became source of love and perfection for others.❤️🙏🏻 Tolerance and forgiviness is key and appreciation of differences and mistakes.
If you are looking for pristines meetings, online dating is probably the last one from the 4 traditionnal way of dating (online, daygame, nightgame and social circle). It really depends of what you are looking for. Night game can lead to some interresting meeting but filter only on woman who like to go out (either really extravert ones or young one). If you are looking for deeper connection my guess would be to go on social circle game and if you like more diversity daygame would probably be the best fit. There is no right or bad game, but it is true that the algorithms tend to format so much interactions in online dating and the power is so much push toward woman that this might get uninteresting for most man (and eventually for women). My guess is that online dating is at crisis and it needs a revolution where interaction would be deeper (and not just trying to retain woman attention because she has so many matches) and more random. Look a like matches are not necessarily the answer as they tend to filter the people we meet and women tend to be bored really easily, especially with people who have personnality type they already know
I'm far from an expert - and I'm only recently single (recent widower). Maybe the gamification of relationships through online dating apps has lost its lustre as you become (more) aware that it's superficial. Most of us would be more emotionally drained going on 10 first dates with 10 different women. Compared to 10 dates with the one woman. If you catch my meaning.
Well yes... But I don't think this is the whole story.. I've been through whole periods in my life wher eI was going on 2-3 dates a week, sleeping with lots of different women - and it was always fun. True, now I'm not looking for casual sex, but there's a lot less 'fun' and a lot more 'tedium' than ever before. I do think the gamification is a part of the problem.. I suspect it has caused a lot of people to feel burnout, which causes others to get burned out.. it has been slowly ramping up.
its the burnout, and it's also the apparent over abundance of options, and endless pursuit of novelty. As Bob Marley once sung 'in an ocean full of water, the fool is always thirsty', and this is something I've experienced, where you're on a date with someone and you're already wondering after 30mins if the grass is greener elsewhere, rather than where you water it yourself, as it were. Dating apps are on their way out hopefully, and in the times to come we can return to meeting each other in more organic, authentic and interesting ways. I've long deleted my dating apps, and I'd rather not go on any dates at all, than on a multitude of increasingly mediocre ones where nobody leaves feeling good about themselves, each other, or the process. All we're doing is providing data for big tech at the end of the day. It's unnecessary.
I’m so burnt out. I tried to be optimistic and positive but too many failed options. How do we move past this when it’s all online dating now? I do the same thing go out try to meet ppl organically, but sometimes when you go out, you feel even more shittier after lol
Yeah man ,the burnout is real.... Sometimes the bet option is to stop dating completely for a month - just step back and do other things you find fun.. Then you come back and start again - I still think cold approaching is king for options and results now that online dating has become so competitive.
You going to make clubbing videos for beginners? been clubb'n myself should I avoid the popular sites. Seems like everyone at the popular sites have good game but me.
I have the same feelings, however, mostly due to the fact that I do not get any matches. Zero in the last 3 years. At my age (53y) there are just no attractive women on dating apps that fall in a reasonable age window (33 to 43). But in real life I can't find them either, so maybe it's time to give up on relationships and intimacy?
51 year old here. Also zero matches using age range of mid 30s to early 50s. Not giving up entirely on relationships and intimacy, but I am turning to hobbies, interests, and great platonic friendships (both male and female) for now.
I am an average guy. I have left online dating for good because of bad results and bad effect on self esteem. I leave it to the Chads the girls want to hookup with anyway. Aldo, ni more free validation and attention to the girls. Also, no date invitatioms. My hope is that the gitls will get so ruthlessly pumprd and dumped by the Chads that tve girls will leave online dating too for good. Then fairness reestablishes itself. I hope that clarifies it.
Great video Damien! I’ve had the same experience recently. I decided to give the online apps a rest. It’s been a month now and I’m ready to give it a go again I have recently been trying to find the same answers. I’ve come across a whole bunch of stuff that try and explain that 10-20% of high value men are now getting all the girls. They basically put this down to hypergamy. They basically state that since girls can now get access to the top men through technology they are now just interested in the top tier men. Thus leaving the other 80/90% behind. I have come across an interesting stat claiming in the last 10 years. 50% of single men are sexless. Basically saying that dating apps have fundamentally changed the sexual market place. I’m sure there are many other reasons why the dating game has changed. Would love to know your thoughts on those statistics though.
I mean a really simple experiment - go to the local grocery store.... how many perfectly average men do you see walking around wiht a wife and kids? How many below average men do you see like this? Oddly they'll be the most common thing you see athte grocery store right? The statistics we're focussing on aren't the whole picture for starters - cleary lotso f average and below men are in marriages with kids so they all got long term relationships somehow. Many red pill guys often completely overlook this very simple lifestyle experiment. When it comes to sex itself - I dont' think this has changed much at all honestly.... Think of it this way.... In the 1950s, being promiscuous sexually as a woman was frowned on so fewer women did it. Today, most women go through at least 1 phase where they want ot sew their wild oats - a perfectly reasonable thing. Men go through siimlar phases. The difference being - the average man sewing his oats would HAPPILY sleep with 3 or 4 new women a week if he could get them... The average woman sewing her oats might likely do fewer than that a month. SO there's a supply-demand problemw ith sex that's wholly unrelated ot tech like online dating. Men want it more often wiht new partners than women do - so When it comes to sex, women get to be more choosy. That changes a lot when it comes to relationships becuase the supply demand is skewed in favor of men. More women want LTR than men at all age groups over 30.
You know, I've watched quite a few of the videos done by dating coaches that specialise in helping women to date and watched quite a few videos of dating coaches like yourself that specialise in helping men and you all basically saying the same things to both genders. I've even heard both sets of dating coaches say to their audiences that the opposite sex is like a cat and that you have to let the person you are dating come to you on their own terms which makes perfect sense and you can't argue with the fact that chasing someone only makes them pull away. The problem is though if no one takes the lead in the romantic pursuit it just leads to two people having a nice pleasant conversation that is devoid of sexual tension and just goes nowhere. It seems that the sensible and logical dating advice out there for both genders while correct for the individual dater could be creating a toxic environment that fosters an avoidant attachment style in both genders. It could be a case of the law of unintended consequences. Perhaps a solution could be to actually codify what role men are expected to play in dating and what role women are expected to play because the free-for-all we have at the moment doesn't seem to help anyone. I mean, in the old days, they used to have a certain social etiquette. Perhaps we could bring some of that back but drop the moralising and sexual repression that went on in the past. Or perhaps we all need to take some kind of relationship skills test before we're allowed to date just like we must take a driving test before we're allowed to drive a car by ourselves. Who knows, eh? It could simply be the case that we have to accept when it comes to relationships one person is going to be the adored one while the other person will be the one giving the adoration. I mean, it seems in a lot of relationships one person seems to love the other person a bit more than the other or at the very least there needs to be some kind of polarity for attraction to occur.
Yeah there's definitely some of this going on - When I look at my female friends I feel like they just subconsciously can't get too excited anymore becuase they're also burned out, so nobody feels excited bout anyone because everyone is feeling jaded.
I'm kinda torn on this issue. On one hand, I feel sorry for you and all people who have the same burnout. If you did something that brought you fun in the past, and now it is just tedious going through the motions - it sucks. On the other hand, it's kinda hard for me to empathize. There is a Russian proverb - "Everybody have their own problems. Somebody's stew is too thin, and somebody's diamonds are too small". When one person has a choice to do something or not to do it, and the other person has only the second option... it's hard for a second guy to feel sorry for the first one. I understand that this may not be a pleasant thing to hear, but I believe in mutual transparency - that many people watching this video feel the same as me and don't comment just because of misplaced fear of being impolite. And about the solutions - I have no solution for men who feel this, but I have a solution for women who feel the same way. Let's agree that there is no sizeable population of women who aren't getting any matches - their problem is about "food is bland" and not about "I'm starving". But there is a big population of men who literally aren't getting any matches - not in the sense of "all women I match with are fat and boring", but in the sense of "I get one match per week who don't reply back". The solution is - niche up to those guys. They wouldn't be cagey, playing the "who will invest less" game - because you are their only option. Yes, they may be needy and this is off-putting - but you need to lower your standards, and when starting relationships with them, you can psychologically help them to become less needy. Acknowledge the problem when dating them, don't judge them, talk this through, and the neediness will start to evaporate. I know this is possible, because a long time ago, I had a very kind and emotionally intelligent partner who helped me with this. Yes, lowering your standards may suck, but men who have an unfulfilling dating lives are doing it too - if they can date visually unattractive girls, you can date an emotionally unattractive guy - and, unlike those men, you can easily help him to become more emotionally attractive. The sad thing is - the same advice will not work for men, because there are almost zero girls with the same characteristics on online dating platforms - there are no girls that are desperate for _anybody_, because of the amount of matches they get, there are girls who are desperate for some specific characteristics only. TL;DR: for women - date below average needy guys and help them become above average and not needy, for men - I have no idea.
So... For the first point, I'm definitely not looking for your sympathy - I agree, it's worse to be with no matches at all - that wasn't even in contention. My point was that - actually online dating isn't even delivering pleaseing reaults these days even when you do get the matches. For your advice for the women... you're still showing a lack of understanding of the issue for them. All those guys who aren't getting matches? They are just as likely to be Abusive/creepy/emotionally unsafe/ man-children / etc... As the guys who currently are getting the matches. There's no obvious way for women to see who are the decent nguys to match with and who aren't. You act as though women are wilfully avoiding the decent guys - but they actually aren't doing this. Sure some very good quality men are being overlooked online - but a lot of the time that's not what's happening - those men are the minority of those being overlooked. Women aren't desperate for anybody - They would rather be single than date a guy that makes their lives worse - that's a very reasonable position to take.
@@SchoolOfAttraction There is no logical reason for them to behave this way, to miss their only chance. Therefore, women need to simply filter out the illogical ones, men with low general or emotional intelligence. This is an obvious way, isn't it? In comparsion, there is a logical reason ("logical" as in having a connection between cause and effect, between goal and motivation - not in the sense of "ethical" or "justified") for men who are getting enough women to treat their dates badly - "there will always be a next train" effect, women can feel replaceable for them, so hurting one woman doesn't hurt their chances with the next one. Therefore, you can't just assess their intelligence and dismiss stupid ones - the smart men still can use the logic above and not ruin their chances overall. But you certainly can do it with men who can go for months and even years without managing to get a date - because they ARE runing the chances overall. If you want to dispute this, please, don't just use blank statements like "they can be abusive too" - give a reason why a man can have three characteristics at the same time: 1) have zero success with women; 2) be emotionally and generally smart; 3) be abusive when he gets the rare chance of having a relationship. Because I see no reason why this three characteristics can coexist. You can have 1 and 3, 2 and 3, or 1 and 2 - but you can't have 1, 2 and 3.
So how do you suggest women weed out the emotionally healthy guys from the non-emotionally healthy/smart guys? Can't do it in text before you meet - you'd have to go on a few dates to work it out... Unless there's a technique you know of that I don't? Your message doesn't make complete sense unfortunately.. I never spoke about general intelligence in men here.. You also brought up other confounding factos which are totally unrelated to anything I've said without a reference, so I need to ignore them for now. So really the only question that matters here is "how does a woman in your mind tell which guys should be dateable from his online dating profile? " Because if you can answer that, you'll be a very fast millionaire. Most women aren't making dumb online dating choices on average. You keep speaking as though it's easy for women and they should just make better choies.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Well, the same way as men do - only men don't have the near-infinite pool of new partners to filter. Worst-case scenario, you can just make them take an EQ test on a date (the one with interpretations, not binary questions which you can fake) - it's not romantic and is strange, but it gives an approximate result. It makes sense, because a man with low general intelligence can still hurt a woman even if it moves him away from his goals, not realizing the connection. It's not a confounding factor. Yes, you can't do it precisely from the dating profile alone, they need to do _some_ work besides just looking at it. But is still an useful heuristics: low amount of matches (which you could judge by the unattractiveness of the profile) plus adequate IQ and EQ (which can be easily approximated on a date). Like I said, the first factor is not enough, the second factor is not enough, but the combination of a first and second factor should be enough. And yes, I think they can make better choices, because the tactics I described above is counterintuitive (seeking out the suboptimal profiles, not the optimal ones, and then using basic tests to weed out the basic undisireable traits), and with the propaganda telling women "you can do better", to conciously "do worse" in the first part is not an intuitive choice.
So Interestingly, I had a female friend do this becuase she wanted to weed out guys... Bascially the only ones who DID the test failed in other areas the test didn't cover... Namely they were desperate or overly needy or overly eager to please... none of the things that are attractive to most women. So the thing is, what yoiu think is an easy solution for women - there is no working solution and thats the problem.
It's a pretty beautiful part of the world! I won't have anymore videos form there though as I live in Clear Island Waters now - it's a great place, but not so many walks by the water.
Hey man sorry to hear you're feeling burned out. I think as online dating becomes more common, it tends to attract fewer interesting people. The only real solution is to cast a wider net. Becoming more active on Instagram, Linkedin for example makes it possible to have real conversations with people while Instagram attracts a wider audience than a dating site. While it may not give you that instant gratification of getting lots of matches and dates in a short period of time, it does allow you to have real conversations with people without feeling burned out.
This actually explains a lot. I've never been a guy who gets loads of matches but generally speaking I was able to get a date every so often and sometimes those dates would be interesting and exciting and go somewhere. But over the last year or two I've noticed a shift. I'm getting even fewer matches, the online conversations are less engaging, and then IF I get a date nowadays it seems like nobody is very emotionally available. From my end it just feels like the other person is going through the motions and not all that invested in what's going on. Over and over again I'll get 1-3 dates and then get the "You know, I just don't think we are meant for each other" text. I don't think it's been me, I look the same, same sense of humor, same sort of profile. But there's just been this shift in the experience of dating
100%
Agreed
Jesus my dude are you ME? My story is similar although kinda has some differences.
I was 18-19 when I really started wanting to have a gf. That was 2011 and it's when I started using OLD. Back then I got very little attention/responses from girls. Very little potential of even a date. But when I got a date, it would start a relationship. So first two girls were kinda practive-gfs even though I didn't treat them like that but that's what it was really. But then in late 2012 I met a great girl and we were together 1.5 year and I regret dumping her then. Since then, my responses online were getting more frequent (still not great), I was getting more dates etc. but really very few women would get my interest or be interested in LTR/dating. I would get friendzoned/ghosted/they would turn out to be catfish. I got a OLD burnout. But then I tried cold approaching and in 2022 after less than 10 tries and less than 1 month I met my (now-ex) girlfriend. We broke up last december and I started using OLD apps again and OMG it';s even worse. I feel like no woman there is worth it/emotionally available/stable mentally. I am starting to think of doing cold approach again, too bad I don't live in a city now. I want to give up on OLD.
I feel the same. I just don't get excited anymore on dating apps. I always feel as if something is not going to work out
First of all, kudos to you for being transparent and not putting up a front like you have it all figured out just because you’re a dating coach 👍
I’ve been using dating apps since my mid 30’s and it’s gotten progressively worse and worse and now at 43, I’ve realized it’s a very bad return on investment. It programs you to always want the next best thing and really hinders connection. We can’t outsmart the algorithms and it’s designed to keep you coming back. Aside from the horrible ratios and ghosting and catfishing, there’s also your value as a person which cannot be conveyed through a few photos and prompts. People that swipe left on you very well may give you a chance if you had met in person. Your value as a man is way higher in real life. That’s why dating apps can create resentment and low self esteem because guys think it’s a reflection of the real world. At my age, I feel like my window of opportunity is closing so I’m all about action now. I still have the apps but it’s just a supplement and I go out to bars and join classes and hobbies. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Last weekend I had a same day cancellation, a no show for a facetime by women in their late 30’s. It just shows that everyone is on the same hamster wheel. I also did a speed dating event and vast majority of girls there mentioned that they were sick of the apps. In any event, we must keep trucking forward and adapt. My suggestion is to get out there and stop relying on the apps, hoping that “the one” is just one swipe away. If something isn’t working you need to take action for a different result. Good luck!
Cheers mate - Yeah I think if I'm to be the best coach I can be, then transparency is pretty important - Definitely going ot return to cold approaching.
I get matches dates etc etc. I’m tired of having to drive the conversations. Woman have too many options and I don’t want time put the time in anymore.
Nice video. I’m a woman who has used dating apps for like 15 years with breaks here and there for relationships and I do think the culture of apps is difficult and has been.
I deleted my online dating account last week and uninstalled the app. I've decided to simply go and do the things I like more and to join some clubs to meet more people, my thought is that I'm likely to find someone better suited by going to a music event I like, going to running or walking clubs, participating in sports events because there's always a lot of time before and after to talk with people. You can get to know them or their friends with a bit of effort.
The problem is really obvious...go on 100 online dates...then ask yourself how many of those people you'd have asked out if you'd met them at a party...my guess is less than 10...so the VAST majority of the time you sit down across somebody who you know you have no interest in from the get go OR it becomes really clear very quickly that you don't have a future together and the grind of that wears you down. Add in the repetitive nature of "go for coffee" or "go for drinks" and dating just stops being fun.
Yep 100%
YESS I'm in the same boat! I actually started doing online dating 10 years ago because I was getting frustrated with the ROI I was getting from cold approach (hundreds of approaches and I'd get one date if I was lucky). When I was able to get my online dating system down, I was able to get 3 dates a week consistently for many years. I went pretty hard at it - having multiple apps, constantly resetting accounts,etc. But it has only been recently (the last few months), that I started to get really burnt out from online dating apps. Scheduling time out of my day to meet a girl who may not have chemistry with me, then being stuck in the convo for an hour or two (whereas in cold approach I could literally just walk away mid-conversation and both parties would forget LOL). Or hitting it off and really having a connection with a girl and she ghosts me. So I recently for fun went out the other night to do cold approach after years of not doing it (actively with the intent to do it, that is ). And boy it was fun!! I noticed that as I've gotten older, I seem to get way more attraction and my ratio of approaches to numbers/dates has gone down considerably (a good thing). Granted I don't have the same energy that I did 10 years ago to approach every single person at a bar but it was a really fun experience. I'm thinking of re-approaching cold approach again and taking a short break from online dating.
Yeah sounds like you're feeling the exact same thing... Back to the old school way of doing things :)
My issue is guys want to sleep with me very quickly while simultaneously having a problem with women with high body counts/or women's promiscuity. Usually by the third date people expect sex.
Just to be clear I pay for separate meals and most dates are coffee dates or brunch.
I have this problem as well
Yeah that's a definite double standard - and a lot of the 'red pill' ideologies that are getting out there amongst men are perpetuating really really dumb ideas about women and with sexual partners. It's upsetting for everyone because a rumour like that hurts both men and women and it's completely baseles and childish.
A guy who has options and is considered attractive won't wait for the third date for sex. Only beta males worry about body counts. These are guys to avoid and you should thank them they told you early on so you don't waste your time.
@@martintheguitarist These average looking and average earning guys
> My issue is guys want to sleep with me very quickly while simultaneously having a problem with women with high body counts/or women's promiscuity.
How can you be sure that those are the same guys? It's not fair to just assume it.
Although, if you don't like a person enough to check if you are compatible physically, why do you schedule a third date then?
> These average looking and average earning guys
Oh, this times when everybody seems that they deserve something above average...
I think the issues you bought up are a societal issue. Women are frustrated because high quality men don’t want a long term relationship at a young age. I think the “uni /college experience” at a young age is what caused this being able to get a new person every other day.
Men are frustrated because girls are very picky right now and will only match and sleep with a very niche amount of men. They have so many men liking their profiles so they have so much choice and only chose the best.
So it wasn’t just me then. Deleted all the apps about a month ago cause I was feeling extremely burned out and like it would never work out anyway. The thing you mentioned about meeting people that are kinda meh is definitely a huge problem because enough of that and you get kinda frustrated. And yes, having lots of matches doesn’t make it easier, since now you have to choose who to invest time and effort in and often that choice was poor. The shotgun approach doesn’t really work either, cause then you just waste time with no result. I also feel like people hop from app to app, expecting something different, but this only creates more option overload where you end up choosing no one. I think the book “ how to not die alone “ has a great breakdown of the problems with dating nowadays, might check that out if you don’t know it already.
I found online dating to be detestable at minimum. My happiness has increased since I cut it out of my life last year.
I am a first-time viewer of your channel and would like to praise you for your quality guidance! It's so refreshing.
As a young woman, I relate 100% to what you said about our experience around the 5:30 mark. I am disenchanted with online dating, and feel as if finding a man who is emotionally available and ready for commitment is just a matter of luck, not effort. Men tell me they are looking for the same thing I am (and sometimes specify they want it with me), and then behave avoidantly and sometimes deceitfully. It is baffling, heartbreaking, and is further diminishes my trust in the men I date. I see now there's a knock-on effect for all of the men I date subsequently. At this point, if a man shows any sign of avoidance or lying, I leave the relationship. I am much more critical about that type of behavior, which is probably a positive thing, but probably also means men will get cut out unnecessarily because I have misinterpreted their behavior and they don't have the language to explain what is going on when I ask for an explanation.
I also have pondered whether there's been a shift in the dating scene over the last couple of years that I am just not adjusting to. I don't have the answers, but if you ever figure it out, I will be watching!
Thank you for that Kyla ! I'm literally planning a podcast with a fellow dating coach who has also experienced a big shift in the dating landscape the last few years so definitely tune in for that
@@SchoolOfAttraction Looking forward to it! Thank you 🙏
I feel the same way. I never had a time where online dating was good for me. I started it in 2017. I meet with many women, but it ends up in me being ghosted, them liking me but me not liking them, me settling for a subpar woman because I am frustrated about the online dating experience, etc lol. I even meet average women who are so entitled that they expect me to pick them up and pay for everything on the first meet, I mean, I don’t even know this woman, I don’t even know if I like her, she is a stranger. I think online dating has put casual dating on steroids and people are slowly realising that we all just need to get married to one person, start a family and live happily ever after. I think people need to realise the reality of pair bonding and that casual dating is at odds with this biological trait we have evolved.
Thanks for the video. I had this moment so many times that you are sitting there on a date feeling like wasting your time. And like the grass is greener on the other side, you look at other women in the bar with their dates and wish you could go out with them. I know these amazing women are out there. And in December I had a great month with lots of cool dates using the paid version of Bumble. But eventually it ran dry, because the city I live in it rather small (400,000 people). After summer I'm gonna give Hinch a go. I use these online dating apps in phases and combine it with going out.
I just deleted the last dating app I had on my phone a few hours before you uploaded this video.
The time investment you have there is not good enough to what you get in return.
Absolutely feel the same. I’m completely burnt out. I dated someone for a few months last year and they were an amazing person. It didn’t work out and 7 months on I’ve just become completely burnt out and depressed from dating apps. I’ve also become a very flakey person on them as well making me a red flag. Going to take a break, wonder if it will actually be for good.
I'm getting burned out. I feel like when you get into a chat via text that every message you send has to be a homerun. After being ghosted so many then I start opening messages in ways I normally wouldn't. Texting seems like a chess match.
Totally understand this
I feel the same burnout as everyone else. Mine is I get a lot of people interested on these apps, but I’m just so tired of the get to know you chit-chat over and over again one after the other. It’s like an actor that has to do a press junket for a film and gets asked the same questions repeatedly and you have to act as if you’re hearing it for the first time. It’s just my interest level in it isn’t there. Or the messages start off back and forth but after a couple days starts to die off. Either you reply less and less or they do. Then that’s that.
I’ve had more successes in the past just meeting people while out and about. Those were also easier because what you see is what you get. No one has to worry if the pics look like the person or not since that seems to bother some people. You can also nail down mannerisms and communication style right off the bat.
Yeah I've always found in person approach much more fun... and rewarding.
Although I have to say, after I made this video, I switched the women I'd match wtih and date to exclusively Latin women, thus cutting out mostly Australian women, and my experience improved dramatically - women were making an effort, being engaged with me etc.
Thanks to Covid i took a nice 2 year break from online dating and dating in general, been back recently and certainly notice
a total lack of interest from women and myself lol. So been reflecting on this a lot this week, and my conclusion is that dating apps are primarily for hookups so no one should be using it hoping for a relationship. If casual's not your thing then you use that energy in social circle dating. So time to join a gym, become a regular at the library or whatever place of interest, join clubs and meetups, etc. Online dating's dead as it should be for the mental well being of people.
The problem is it's hard to be transparent. A lot of guys try to be honest and end up being either flaked on, ghosted or dropped after just 1 message on the apps. I know a lot of women are "tired of the games" and I get it. But I am sorry in today's dating market you pretty much have no choice but to game women due to the amount of attention they got on average.
There is a woman I am talking to that I am legit interested in. I literally am playing the game of not responding too quickly to messages and making it seem like I got stuff going on in life which to be fair I do for the most part. But it really is a total shame that in order to keep someone interested I have to run a bit of avoidant attachment aka red pill game just to keep her interested. And yes I feel like crap doing it but I honest to God feel like I have no choice and it sucks.
Yeah you're not entirely wrong here... For me, it's the fact that, to get the best chat to date ratio and avoid flaking, it's best to set up a date super-fast - but I don't really want ot, I want to verify if I'm going to even like them first. But if I do that, flaking become much more common.
Thanks for sharing man. It seems that these apps aren’t producing the same kind of frustration for men and women. I did a test and created a female profile “Maria 45” with a picture of a Gorilla. Next morning, I had 400 likes. This is not only overwhelming for women but it gives them a false ego boost. As for men, we swipe 17000 times and get 200 likes, half of them being probably bots. So we tend to feel discouraged and unworthy. This only shows that dating apps aren’t rewarding at all.
I've found it easier to meet people out and about these days. I think everyone has burnout. Meeting people at a bar/art gallery.... takes away the formality of going on a date. If your first contact with the person, is the real person and not the highly edited, handful of 10 year old Facebook photos. And your opening conversation isn't "hows your week?", "Hi", "Insert lame copy and paste joke", it feels like a special and personal interaction. Since quarantine has been largely lifted I think people want real life, personal interactions, over apps.
One thing that has helped with my single friends is to, as early in the chatting process as possible, get on a facetime chat or (bare minimum) a phone call. A lot of chemistry can be assessed in real-time conversation--people with chemistry naturally develop a certain cadence and flow in their conversation, and this isn't something that can be assessed over texting. It'll also let you know if they're using 20 filters in their profile pictures. If the facetime chat goes well, and only if it goes well, set up a real date. I'm told this filters out a good 50-60% and saves a lot of time.
Unfortunately, most women dont' want to do this - the ghost rate when you ask for a phone or video chat before a date is about 50% - I wish more women wanted to do this, becuase it would be an awesome way to save time.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Maybe that was the 50-60% filter rate, lol!
Last week I also had a burnout. I've been talking to dozens of girls and went on a date with some. Then the last one looked like a 8 on the photos and was a 5-6 in real. So I said fuck it I just pick up girls in real world. Girls I like from the start.
just swipe right on girls who have less filters. Anyway, daygame can really separate yourself from many guys
@@ifeelhalfnaked484 I feel like it's a waste of time. If I spend that 1 hour a day with meeting girls on the street, bars, etc or even working out I'll be better off in the long run.
@@tamasposta6178 well, id say online dating is an add on, you still have to go out meet people irl
@@ifeelhalfnaked484 Yeah I always went out besides that but it does two things:
- giving me false hope with the prettier girls online (they almost never go on a date with me) and therefore decreasing my motivation to go up to girls in real life
- taking a lot of time which I could spend with other things which improve me
I feel the same burnout. When you get too many matches being a funny,lighthearted and charming guy with 20matches in rotation is kinda exhausted.
last year I got terrible profile,I got few matches and my matches wasnt interested in me, so I decide get off the dating game and
to improved my looks, game, status,money and I did some photoshoot and activities and after a year of hardwork
my matches in bumble increase dramatically just a 1st week in bumble I got burnout too many ladies sending me messages
I cant barely entertain them all. my weekend this july is fullybooked of 1st date
I am planning to leave bumble for 2weeks or a month because of burnout and get back again
Well.. I feel the same. BUT, I'm 37yo, had a long relationship before, actually was married with her. Afterwards I had two kids with a girl I am not with anyone (although the kids are my life and most important thing). Between that I experienced an awesome time in tinder, met incredible women and so on. Hearing you and reflecting on my personal experience, it comes clear to me that the issue here is that deep inside you don't want to find a woman for a long term relationship. Than, your mind tricks you to find problems on anu woman you have in front of you. You'll never find someone perfect, but if you're not opened for good enough, frustration is what you'll get.
I truly deeply believe I'm self aware enough to know the difference between myself picking problems to pick on because I don't really want a realtionship and I'm not meeting great women. Don't forget, even going back 4 years, this problem didn't exist - so your great experiences which were all some time ago aren't good proof that things aren't different now.
I’ve felt the same way right away since I started dating again after ending a long term relationship a few years ago. It’s been real hard to get into wading through the sea of attractive strangers on the tiny phone screen.
My opinion? I think online dating as well as social media is ending it’s honeymoon phase. Like the early internet, in the beginning it was a fun new thing and almost a small niche community with like minded people, but now EVERYONE is on it and it’s overloaded with strangers that you’d never vibe with.
But that’s not all. There is also the fact that online dating and social media in general is a business that commodified our instinctual desires. Commodifying our relationships with people is bound to strip them down to the bare minimum input-output feedback loops because building relationships is something that cannot be turned into a commodity. Fulfilling relationships are something we mutually create with face to face and physical contact. I think it’s a manifestation of the same thing this old guy was ranting about 40 years ago:
th-cam.com/video/JlN2o-Wrra8/w-d-xo.html
As for solutions, I think you’re on the right track with going back to bars and pubs. I think people are becoming isolated from one another and face to face contact is key. I think singles-focused meet ups like speed dating or group activities or especially volunteering are something people want even though they don’t know it. Even if people aren’t getting laid they’ll still have a good time anyway. They can open up, relax and bond over the things they do together and has potential to build all kinds of relationships and networks.
wow! thanks so much for that link. He so succinctly described what we all know and feel, yet sometime stuggle to describe
Both you and video dude are ignoring individual responsibility. It's not the apps or the algorithms creating this environment, it's the people's shitty behaviour. Every poor, comfortable decision an individual makes adds to the pile. The apps don't ghost, flake, dump, stalk, intimidate, use, lie or cheat on people. And the people you meet in pubs and hobby clubs are the same people as on the dating apps, just more constrained by social norms.
Needed to see this video. Deleted the apps a couple weeks ago, I agree its like a dynamic shift/bear market ... idk something just isn't functional about the landscape right now. Gonna go to meetups and just be in public more. Getting out the house.
Once a great dating coach, Mr Locario who directed me to this channel, said that online dating is not easier just more convenient and you should only do it as a supplement to more traditional methods you are using.
The biggest issue I see with women is that they are looking for a relationship. Maybe it would work with someone from work or your social circle where you already got to know the person quite a bit but definitely not with online dating. It takes a long time to figure out if you are compatible with someone. If you go with a relationship mindset to first dates you are setting yourself up for failure. Realistic expectations is the key to do something consistently and not burn out. Cold approaching is a huge numbers game. Online dating is 100 times more. If you don't like the odds of the lottery don't play it.
My biggest complaint is emotional unavailability with dates that have gone exceptionally well where they were hot and then go sub zero cold next day and give the friend speech not cool
My frustration was different. The amount of women that aren't able to handle a conversation. And the amount of women that aren't looking for a partner or dates. Just juggling tons of guys to have attention. The shitty answers to the messages and constant "ghosting". The actual dates went quite well though.
Learn to social dance and go to dance meetups. You have immediate value just from being able to lead a woman in a basic dance. Online dating will always have the problem where women can easily convey their value (booty) and guys have to work much harder to portray value. Women simply have much more passive value. Men generally need to have more active value unless you are a lucky chad.
I can absolutely relate
I just don't even wanna put the effort in starting the conversation
Matey, thanks for the video - and because you asked, here are some things to think about:
1) Definitely give online dating a break but I think you should actually just give dating a break altogther. This is because your body language, tone of voice, and content of what you say indicate that you're feeling pretty flat. Nothing will truly cover this up if you're out on a date e.g. faking that you feel good or are excited, and even if you do and you pull it off, then it becomes a slippery slop re: insincereity for anything later. You may not have noticed this happening, as you seem pretty cerebral, so I'd say that you'd be pretty good at deceiving yourself too. On being tired, I've met you before and you seemed to have had more energy back then - I think you can easily tell that your batteries are low (the eyes are the window to the soul and seem tired around the eyes and not just in a "I woke up late this morning" sort of way). On a side note, you mentioned that you were sick a while ago and lost a lot of weight - I have a brother with chronic fatigue and he has to factor that into everything now, so perhaps there's a mindfulness/management issue there - I don't know.
2) You may have slid into dating for the wrong reasons without knowing it. - from your video, dating now seems like it should serve some purpose which it is clearly not serving for you, hence the dissatisfaction. Perhaps focus on yourself and get back into your hobbies and just do what you enjoy - get into group activites and forget about all the analysis of human intercations for a bit - it's tiring. Your videos are great but the internet isn't proper human interaction - it's still a solitary exercise. Get into more action, and less thought, if you know what I mean. And try new things until you find something you really enjoy (it may very well be that you enjoy hanging out with the people that you meet rather than the activity per se).
3) So get back on your own path and what you enjoy doing - do that until you feel right in yourself again, then that can be the point of reference for future dates e.g. it's good just meeting new people but once you're doing what you enjoy that can be a basis for future dates e.g. taking her along to the life drawing classes that you signed up to or whatever (you know what I mean) but the end goal is that you're doing what you're enjoying and she just happens to be there too and you're in a place by that point where you don't really care if she makes it along or not, rather than trying to tune chicks and going to whatever bars you been to before, for the sake of dating in and of itself in a repeative fashion - they're different goals if you know what I mean.
4) Also, you mentioned in another video, you're more concenred with finding a longer term partner - is this an underlying source of pressure on your dating now? You have to be okay with fact that you may never find someone again. You have to be okay with fact that you're on your own, and whatever happens, happens.
5) Don't forget that you live in the Gold Coast now. Certain kind of folk up there dude!
Peace.
Thanks a lot David - All of this is good advice - I already have subconsciously taken a bit of a step back from dating - focussing back on the things that I Really enjoy, and spending more time on them - I'm not in a rush to find a partner at all - So I'm taking a couple months to step back, focus on work, my photography, learning my fpv drone skills, hang out with friends etc.
And heh, I hear you with the GC thing :P
@@SchoolOfAttraction good to hear. Look after yourself :-)
I have experienced this a few times now and the best solution for me is to limit myself to talking to three people that I would like to go on a date with, once I hit that point I stop swiping and don’t start until I get rid of one of the other options.
I have encountered a lot of times, after ons the girls may just ghost me, maybe i dont present a long term quality option
@@ifeelhalfnaked484 yea bro it’s a tough one, are you interested in a relationship or a long term f buddy?
Wait, didnt' I already make a video talking about me eploying this tactic?
@@SchoolOfAttraction you probably did, I haven’t seen that one my bad
This is exactly why dating works best for people under 20. They don’t have the luggage of bad experiences and disappointments to drag them down. At that age you see women how you want to see them. This makes you optimistic and fills you with that positive attitude. Then at some point reality catches up with you and your optimism takes a fatal hit.
Lol teenagers? Have you been to high school? Hahaha
@@Bohorockerchic925 Been to high school, been to university. What places have you been to?
I call it online dating admin and the feedback loop I call an emotional virus that is passed from one person to the next to the next. Brilliant video fella.
So I don't know you, never seen any of your videos, but this one popped up on my recommendations. I'll be pretty upfront from where I'm coming from. Generally I'm not too keen on dating coaches, dating guides, or the overall atmosphere of dating as a "science", it has always me struck me as far too mechanical, rigid and at times inhuman (for the ones engaging actively in such notions and the ones that would be submitted to those tactics), it always felt as a way to dehumanize oneself and the other person (even if not consciously or maliciously). Leaving aside the whole coaches, guides, etc. I've also been, for a long time, at great odds with the very notion of dating in general. The way, especially, western society forms it's expectations, atmosphere and general attitude towards dating, boxing in such a complex and beautiful thing as a human relationship involving sexuality, affection, vulnerability and love, is rather very simplistic and poor. A desertification of such a potentially enriching and abundant experience of human life, of what it is being human.
But I found your complaint to be very much a moment of your own personal realization, maybe not in a detailed elaborated way, but a "something is not right here" insight, and that is very valuable. What you will do with that feeling and how to engage which it seems like something only you can do.
IMO the very attitude, of how you put yourself out there in the world, is sure to have effects on yourself and slightly nudge how things are, but this is entirely dependent on each persons critical faculties and the limitations of said faculties, is your worldview one that radically distinguishes man and women or one that approximates the two? If so what are those differences? What about the notions on sexuality? Of human interactions? Pertaining trust and distrust? What shapes our ideals are crucial on how our critical faculties acts. Good thing about critical faculties are that they are always in movement, and everything can be questioned if we are brave enough.
Remember, you are a human being, and that entails so many things which we have discovered as a species, and a lot more that are mysterious and inaccessible to anyone but you in the moment of dying, when you look back and see what your life was as a human has been. Time - space is a human experience that we are more or less bound to, as Chet Baker said "there will never be another you" in the whole history of the universe, seems cliche but it is far from inconsequential.
I hope my words were not self-help like, it is by far my intention. Just a simple conversation of how I view the things you exposed.
People want to be seen and loved for who they are, but they aren't capable and willing to do same for others. That's why. They want to be great for someone but don't offer same qualities. They want to be loved with mistakes but they don't tolerate if person vote different candidate then they do. Love and feeling of belonging isn't about cutting away what we don't like. It's about loving people as they are. Because if we love person unique as it is. We don't expect them to be different and we don't seek for someone else if they do mistake. We aren't willing to bear pain in relationships. That's why. But pain is important in life. For growth. And more pain person achieve, more is capable to stay with anyone and isn't so choosy. Because then will not seek love or perfection in others but will became source of love and perfection for others.❤️🙏🏻 Tolerance and forgiviness is key and appreciation of differences and mistakes.
Nice scenery, looks like a clam day.
If a dating coach's advice doesn't work for the dating coach himself then....
If you are looking for pristines meetings, online dating is probably the last one from the 4 traditionnal way of dating (online, daygame, nightgame and social circle). It really depends of what you are looking for. Night game can lead to some interresting meeting but filter only on woman who like to go out (either really extravert ones or young one). If you are looking for deeper connection my guess would be to go on social circle game and if you like more diversity daygame would probably be the best fit.
There is no right or bad game, but it is true that the algorithms tend to format so much interactions in online dating and the power is so much push toward woman that this might get uninteresting for most man (and eventually for women). My guess is that online dating is at crisis and it needs a revolution where interaction would be deeper (and not just trying to retain woman attention because she has so many matches) and more random. Look a like matches are not necessarily the answer as they tend to filter the people we meet and women tend to be bored really easily, especially with people who have personnality type they already know
Even being attractive i expect barely any matches in my small sized city and barely any dates now. Used to be wayyyy better.
I'm far from an expert - and I'm only recently single (recent widower). Maybe the gamification of relationships through online dating apps has lost its lustre as you become (more) aware that it's superficial. Most of us would be more emotionally drained going on 10 first dates with 10 different women. Compared to 10 dates with the one woman. If you catch my meaning.
Well yes... But I don't think this is the whole story.. I've been through whole periods in my life wher eI was going on 2-3 dates a week, sleeping with lots of different women - and it was always fun. True, now I'm not looking for casual sex, but there's a lot less 'fun' and a lot more 'tedium' than ever before. I do think the gamification is a part of the problem.. I suspect it has caused a lot of people to feel burnout, which causes others to get burned out.. it has been slowly ramping up.
its the burnout, and it's also the apparent over abundance of options, and endless pursuit of novelty. As Bob Marley once sung 'in an ocean full of water, the fool is always thirsty', and this is something I've experienced, where you're on a date with someone and you're already wondering after 30mins if the grass is greener elsewhere, rather than where you water it yourself, as it were. Dating apps are on their way out hopefully, and in the times to come we can return to meeting each other in more organic, authentic and interesting ways. I've long deleted my dating apps, and I'd rather not go on any dates at all, than on a multitude of increasingly mediocre ones where nobody leaves feeling good about themselves, each other, or the process.
All we're doing is providing data for big tech at the end of the day. It's unnecessary.
I’m so burnt out. I tried to be optimistic and positive but too many failed options. How do we move past this when it’s all online dating now? I do the same thing go out try to meet ppl organically, but sometimes when you go out, you feel even more shittier after lol
Yeah man ,the burnout is real.... Sometimes the bet option is to stop dating completely for a month - just step back and do other things you find fun.. Then you come back and start again - I still think cold approaching is king for options and results now that online dating has become so competitive.
You going to make clubbing videos for beginners? been clubb'n myself should I avoid the popular sites. Seems like everyone at the popular sites have good game but me.
I have the same feelings, however, mostly due to the fact that I do not get any matches. Zero in the last 3 years. At my age (53y) there are just no attractive women on dating apps that fall in a reasonable age window (33 to 43). But in real life I can't find them either, so maybe it's time to give up on relationships and intimacy?
51 year old here. Also zero matches using age range of mid 30s to early 50s. Not giving up entirely on relationships and intimacy, but I am turning to hobbies, interests, and great platonic friendships (both male and female) for now.
@@chrisbunka i think its better to meet irl if its for mid 30s category simply because this generation of females dont use online dating often
I used this for three months and now I’m sick of it
Yep I feel it too.
Let’s break that system together ☺️
I am an average guy. I have left online dating for good because of bad results and bad effect on self esteem. I leave it to the Chads the girls want to hookup with anyway. Aldo, ni more free validation and attention to the girls. Also, no date invitatioms. My hope is that the gitls will get so ruthlessly pumprd and dumped by the Chads that tve girls will leave online dating too for good. Then fairness reestablishes itself. I hope that clarifies it.
Great video Damien! I’ve had the same experience recently. I decided to give the online apps a rest. It’s been a month now and I’m ready to give it a go again
I have recently been trying to find the same answers. I’ve come across a whole bunch of stuff that try and explain that 10-20% of high value men are now getting all the girls. They basically put this down to hypergamy. They basically state that since girls can now get access to the top men through technology they are now just interested in the top tier men. Thus leaving the other 80/90% behind. I have come across an interesting stat claiming in the last 10 years. 50% of single men are sexless. Basically saying that dating apps have fundamentally changed the sexual market place. I’m sure there are many other reasons why the dating game has changed. Would love to know your thoughts on those statistics though.
I mean a really simple experiment - go to the local grocery store.... how many perfectly average men do you see walking around wiht a wife and kids? How many below average men do you see like this? Oddly they'll be the most common thing you see athte grocery store right? The statistics we're focussing on aren't the whole picture for starters - cleary lotso f average and below men are in marriages with kids so they all got long term relationships somehow. Many red pill guys often completely overlook this very simple lifestyle experiment.
When it comes to sex itself - I dont' think this has changed much at all honestly.... Think of it this way.... In the 1950s, being promiscuous sexually as a woman was frowned on so fewer women did it.
Today, most women go through at least 1 phase where they want ot sew their wild oats - a perfectly reasonable thing. Men go through siimlar phases. The difference being - the average man sewing his oats would HAPPILY sleep with 3 or 4 new women a week if he could get them... The average woman sewing her oats might likely do fewer than that a month. SO there's a supply-demand problemw ith sex that's wholly unrelated ot tech like online dating. Men want it more often wiht new partners than women do - so When it comes to sex, women get to be more choosy.
That changes a lot when it comes to relationships becuase the supply demand is skewed in favor of men. More women want LTR than men at all age groups over 30.
You know, I've watched quite a few of the videos done by dating coaches that specialise in helping women to date and watched quite a few videos of dating coaches like yourself that specialise in helping men and you all basically saying the same things to both genders. I've even heard both sets of dating coaches say to their audiences that the opposite sex is like a cat and that you have to let the person you are dating come to you on their own terms which makes perfect sense and you can't argue with the fact that chasing someone only makes them pull away. The problem is though if no one takes the lead in the romantic pursuit it just leads to two people having a nice pleasant conversation that is devoid of sexual tension and just goes nowhere. It seems that the sensible and logical dating advice out there for both genders while correct for the individual dater could be creating a toxic environment that fosters an avoidant attachment style in both genders. It could be a case of the law of unintended consequences. Perhaps a solution could be to actually codify what role men are expected to play in dating and what role women are expected to play because the free-for-all we have at the moment doesn't seem to help anyone. I mean, in the old days, they used to have a certain social etiquette. Perhaps we could bring some of that back but drop the moralising and sexual repression that went on in the past. Or perhaps we all need to take some kind of relationship skills test before we're allowed to date just like we must take a driving test before we're allowed to drive a car by ourselves. Who knows, eh? It could simply be the case that we have to accept when it comes to relationships one person is going to be the adored one while the other person will be the one giving the adoration. I mean, it seems in a lot of relationships one person seems to love the other person a bit more than the other or at the very least there needs to be some kind of polarity for attraction to occur.
Yeah there's definitely some of this going on - When I look at my female friends I feel like they just subconsciously can't get too excited anymore becuase they're also burned out, so nobody feels excited bout anyone because everyone is feeling jaded.
I feel exactly the same
I'm kinda torn on this issue.
On one hand, I feel sorry for you and all people who have the same burnout. If you did something that brought you fun in the past, and now it is just tedious going through the motions - it sucks.
On the other hand, it's kinda hard for me to empathize. There is a Russian proverb - "Everybody have their own problems. Somebody's stew is too thin, and somebody's diamonds are too small". When one person has a choice to do something or not to do it, and the other person has only the second option... it's hard for a second guy to feel sorry for the first one.
I understand that this may not be a pleasant thing to hear, but I believe in mutual transparency - that many people watching this video feel the same as me and don't comment just because of misplaced fear of being impolite.
And about the solutions - I have no solution for men who feel this, but I have a solution for women who feel the same way.
Let's agree that there is no sizeable population of women who aren't getting any matches - their problem is about "food is bland" and not about "I'm starving". But there is a big population of men who literally aren't getting any matches - not in the sense of "all women I match with are fat and boring", but in the sense of "I get one match per week who don't reply back".
The solution is - niche up to those guys. They wouldn't be cagey, playing the "who will invest less" game - because you are their only option. Yes, they may be needy and this is off-putting - but you need to lower your standards, and when starting relationships with them, you can psychologically help them to become less needy. Acknowledge the problem when dating them, don't judge them, talk this through, and the neediness will start to evaporate. I know this is possible, because a long time ago, I had a very kind and emotionally intelligent partner who helped me with this.
Yes, lowering your standards may suck, but men who have an unfulfilling dating lives are doing it too - if they can date visually unattractive girls, you can date an emotionally unattractive guy - and, unlike those men, you can easily help him to become more emotionally attractive.
The sad thing is - the same advice will not work for men, because there are almost zero girls with the same characteristics on online dating platforms - there are no girls that are desperate for _anybody_, because of the amount of matches they get, there are girls who are desperate for some specific characteristics only.
TL;DR: for women - date below average needy guys and help them become above average and not needy, for men - I have no idea.
So... For the first point, I'm definitely not looking for your sympathy - I agree, it's worse to be with no matches at all - that wasn't even in contention. My point was that - actually online dating isn't even delivering pleaseing reaults these days even when you do get the matches.
For your advice for the women... you're still showing a lack of understanding of the issue for them. All those guys who aren't getting matches? They are just as likely to be Abusive/creepy/emotionally unsafe/ man-children / etc... As the guys who currently are getting the matches. There's no obvious way for women to see who are the decent nguys to match with and who aren't. You act as though women are wilfully avoiding the decent guys - but they actually aren't doing this.
Sure some very good quality men are being overlooked online - but a lot of the time that's not what's happening - those men are the minority of those being overlooked.
Women aren't desperate for anybody - They would rather be single than date a guy that makes their lives worse - that's a very reasonable position to take.
@@SchoolOfAttraction There is no logical reason for them to behave this way, to miss their only chance. Therefore, women need to simply filter out the illogical ones, men with low general or emotional intelligence. This is an obvious way, isn't it?
In comparsion, there is a logical reason ("logical" as in having a connection between cause and effect, between goal and motivation - not in the sense of "ethical" or "justified") for men who are getting enough women to treat their dates badly - "there will always be a next train" effect, women can feel replaceable for them, so hurting one woman doesn't hurt their chances with the next one.
Therefore, you can't just assess their intelligence and dismiss stupid ones - the smart men still can use the logic above and not ruin their chances overall. But you certainly can do it with men who can go for months and even years without managing to get a date - because they ARE runing the chances overall.
If you want to dispute this, please, don't just use blank statements like "they can be abusive too" - give a reason why a man can have three characteristics at the same time: 1) have zero success with women; 2) be emotionally and generally smart; 3) be abusive when he gets the rare chance of having a relationship.
Because I see no reason why this three characteristics can coexist. You can have 1 and 3, 2 and 3, or 1 and 2 - but you can't have 1, 2 and 3.
So how do you suggest women weed out the emotionally healthy guys from the non-emotionally healthy/smart guys? Can't do it in text before you meet - you'd have to go on a few dates to work it out... Unless there's a technique you know of that I don't?
Your message doesn't make complete sense unfortunately.. I never spoke about general intelligence in men here.. You also brought up other confounding factos which are totally unrelated to anything I've said without a reference, so I need to ignore them for now.
So really the only question that matters here is "how does a woman in your mind tell which guys should be dateable from his online dating profile? " Because if you can answer that, you'll be a very fast millionaire. Most women aren't making dumb online dating choices on average. You keep speaking as though it's easy for women and they should just make better choies.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Well, the same way as men do - only men don't have the near-infinite pool of new partners to filter. Worst-case scenario, you can just make them take an EQ test on a date (the one with interpretations, not binary questions which you can fake) - it's not romantic and is strange, but it gives an approximate result.
It makes sense, because a man with low general intelligence can still hurt a woman even if it moves him away from his goals, not realizing the connection. It's not a confounding factor.
Yes, you can't do it precisely from the dating profile alone, they need to do _some_ work besides just looking at it. But is still an useful heuristics: low amount of matches (which you could judge by the unattractiveness of the profile) plus adequate IQ and EQ (which can be easily approximated on a date). Like I said, the first factor is not enough, the second factor is not enough, but the combination of a first and second factor should be enough.
And yes, I think they can make better choices, because the tactics I described above is counterintuitive (seeking out the suboptimal profiles, not the optimal ones, and then using basic tests to weed out the basic undisireable traits), and with the propaganda telling women "you can do better", to conciously "do worse" in the first part is not an intuitive choice.
So Interestingly, I had a female friend do this becuase she wanted to weed out guys... Bascially the only ones who DID the test failed in other areas the test didn't cover... Namely they were desperate or overly needy or overly eager to please... none of the things that are attractive to most women.
So the thing is, what yoiu think is an easy solution for women - there is no working solution and thats the problem.
Is that Varsity Lakes?
Yeah man, it sure is :)
@@SchoolOfAttraction Awesome, I used to live down by christine corner many years back!
It's a pretty beautiful part of the world! I won't have anymore videos form there though as I live in Clear Island Waters now - it's a great place, but not so many walks by the water.
Stop dating western women
I Actually think I'll make my next video about Passport Bros :)
Hey man sorry to hear you're feeling burned out. I think as online dating becomes more common, it tends to attract fewer interesting people. The only real solution is to cast a wider net. Becoming more active on Instagram, Linkedin for example makes it possible to have real conversations with people while Instagram attracts a wider audience than a dating site. While it may not give you that instant gratification of getting lots of matches and dates in a short period of time, it does allow you to have real conversations with people without feeling burned out.
I've honestly always avoided instagram for much other than posting occasional photos - Perhaps it's worth givin some attention to.