I just want to say ladies thanks for speaking up about your preferences though. Obviously it’s personal experience but it’s dope that y’all are being verbal about how you want to be approached! Really dope!
I can’t speak for other women but to experience trauma in my younger years where people just take what they want without my consent…hearing someone ask permission is really reassuring.
I wonder if trauma affects this more than “ media and the culture?’.. cause yes external influences are a thing but most things that really shape our behaviour is from experience.. no matter how small.. Like.. my dad hit me.. and always screamed at me.. so i do have trauma and I’m jumpy when i hear my name ( it’s kinda f up).. i actaully do flinch and get scared.. same if someone comes from behind me and touches me.. i litearlly fall cause of trauma. I’m now wondering if maybe i was SA by my teacher as well ( not like agressive but like wanting to sit on his lap, and all the girls kinda wanting to sit in the front seat get his attention.. i wonder if all of that also contributes my fear of guys touching me.. ) so i get if someone says ‘ can i kiss you.. or sit beside you.. we will go to ‘ this is a good guy’.. vs our trauma instincts kick in. Even in like those asmr videos.. when the guy asks to kiss a lot of girls in the comment really like that part.. and say it’s sexy.. so ya.. very intersting convo
I was thinking the same thing. I've been abused in the past, so it's more reassuring than it is a turn-off. I've only been close like that with people I've known for a year or more, though. So there was already more trust established, and I didn't mind they made the first move without asking. Definitely seems to vary from person to person.
If it's the FIRST kiss, the guy asking for permission isn't a sign of weakness. To me, that's more an indication that he's a good man who is considerate enough to want to make the girl feel safe. He's being a gentleman and is showing that he cares about what she thinks. At the very beginning of a new relationship, you don't know each other's cues yet. Better to ask permission for that first kiss than risk violating trust with a person you're really into. Now, if you've been together for awhile, already had your first kiss, and he's still asking? That's just weird and creepy. Run.
I’d rather a guy ask for consent than risk him assuming something and have him breach my boundaries. Alot of men assume you want something when you dont. It’s not a turn off to know the other person cares to respect your comfort.
Youve *gotta* get Gina on the pod! Its been a while since shes been on and i wanna hear you talk to a woman about dating preferences and stories (esp how she feels about that red choi situation now that a lot of time has passed)
Hi, Gen Z here. As someone in her 20's, I definitely want the guy to ask for permission and I would do the same too if i want to initiate it. I don't necessarily have any heavy trauma that effects my preference like your friend. I think this generation does not or at least associate "weak" guys less with being gay. The bad connotations for being gay is also less imo. All this is to say, women who do not want guys to ask for permission are much much less in the newer generation, situations where consent was not asked are far more looked down upon than for being "weak". Again imo, asking for permission/consent is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of respect and consideration. Men who prioritise making the girl feel safe is better than men who prioritise making themselves look "stronger" or decisive.
Ed's underwear story reminds me of Bart's story of being in high school and a girl invited him over for a "party" and was "conveniently" the only person there. Also reminds me of an old Vine I just saw the other day lol "did someone order a sausage pizza?" "yeah, but i don't have any money😏😏" (walking out the door) "then why the fuck did you order a pizza..."
Based off of my own personal experiences, most of the boys that i grew up with did NOT have a good father figure in their life. So they grow up without the proper knowledge of "hey this is someone's boundaries, no means no" they also tend to lack their own boundaries especially when it comes to relationships.
Its always dependent on the person. Game hasnt really changed, only experience. Younger generations have far less social experience than we did the same age. There is definitely varibles to this that also factor (looks, experience, communication, etc), but game is still required and that will never change. You can only get better by stumbling through experience, which is what a lot of younger generations are completely missing or trying to avoid by watching weirdos online. And as for trauma, ppl deal with the same exact trama very differently, which 1 of the main reasons why comedy has been one of the best forms of therapy.
If the documentary wasn't convincing, you should see how Dan responded to it... It was clearly a set-up interview. Have you seen the scenes he had some kids do? It wasn't just all behind the scenes. It wasn't like SpongeBob where adult jokes were a tongue-in-cheek nod to adults but doesn't really affect the kids, it was his actual fetish disguised as a "kid joke" . 37:15 Disney hired him.
Resembles, John K. The creator olg Ren & Stimpy... Amazing artist that has to be separated from the art, cause he's abusive animators and a pedo who brought a kid on.
Spidey from The Behavioual Arts did a behaviour and body analysis break down of this. If you don't know he specialises in criminal interrogation, sociology and psychology. Stating he felt uncomfortable.
I think what people forget about all this is that he wasn't the only one doing this stuff it was a good bunch of staff members and workers and especially the writers making kids do weird shit and even straight up sexual stuff it's a lot worse than people think
I did hear that the girl that drake bell was talking to lied about her age and when he found out he stopped messaging her and she kept stalking him. But his reputation was already affected especially because of his history with Brian.
I think it's more a lack of social experience. Especially for those who have no experience but even when it comes to those who do, not everyone recognizes the same social cues. If you're socially awkward you're not going to pick up social cues that other people are putting out. Possibly worse, you might think you're getting cues when you're actually not. And the extends to those who are socially experienced because not everyone has the same cues. Some people might call you all kinds of nasty derogatory terms but while to them it's a way to show intimacy and the ability to rag on each other, you might find it insulting and hurtful. One thing I find is most people assume that their experiences and understandings are universal. Because I know something to be a certain way, obviously other people should think the same. And most people aren't inquisitive enough to keep learning and discovering past what they find to be their comfort zone, so should something fail for them they're completely baffled and in some cases believe they've been slighted.
the kissing thing is understandably hard lol. i've gone in to initiate the first kiss without asking. I wouldn't really mind if they did the same, but that's because it was sooo clear how much we mutually wanted to stay real close and well, kissing would close the gap! i would love it just as much if they asked to kiss me for the first time, though. it's endearing and safe because i can mentally prepare. but after that first time? just do it. i would also assume that, after a while, we've shared each other's preferences on how to show affection publically and privately.
When it comes to dating/making your move... what I learned is... 1) Stay true to yourself. If you personally prefer to ask before doing something, then do it. If you rather make a move without asking, then do it! Be true to yourself. 2) Be okay with rejection (you're gaurenteed rejections and failures in life). So far from what I experience, girls actually like it when a guy can take rejection. Combining 1 and 2: the right one will respond in ur favor. If u ask, the right one will like that. Or, the right one will tell u "hey next time jsut do and dont ask." Vice versa. If u make a move without asking, the right one will like that, or they will tell u "hey next time id prefer it if u ask." Everyone is different. Be okay with rejection, its not the end of the world. 3) Always learn from your experience and improve for the better. Meaning if u have no game at all, improve! Maybe dont ask too much. Maybe learn social qeueus to know when to make a move vs asking. Maybe improve on ur fashion, health, looks, social skills, etc.
Im telling you... going to new york for the first when I was in my early 20's and not knowing how the women were like there SHOOK ME!!! lol I aint never felt like so emasculated lol!!!
I think you need to have some context to understand that scene in the documentary where Dan Schneider scares one of his actresses. That actress was Jeanette McCurdy, and she was the one who wrote her memoir that caused people to start investigating him and Nickelodeon. She said he used to give her massages and offer her alcohol when she was underage. So it wouldn’t be surprising if she didn’t enjoy being scared by him.
Trauma never goes away, now imagine trauma as a child. It affects you as you grow and become an adult. I STILL have issues with relationships because of my assault in each category. Not romantic, nope. Friendships and socializing. I overthink, I have social anxiety, never had a romantic relationship because I don't trust people to respect my boundaries, and fear intimacy. Still working on it of course with my therapist, but the fact that I have these issues in the first place....all from trauma as a child. I just imagine my friends chilling with me, listening and helping them in a group, and having a spouse who gives me my space and respects my boundaries. I hope I can get that.
NY here, in my younger years, I'm much older now, I never wanted someone( if we were feeling each other) to ask to kiss me. Neve ever. Now? I feel like asking is nice. You can assess the situation you're in and go from there. Quiet on Set was really disturbing. Dan is a creepy, disgusting man. The man who took advantage and destroyed Drake's life should have gotten put under the prison.
There’s that advice from the Hitch movie called the 80/20 rule? Guy leans in 80% of the way and the woman can choose if she wants a kiss, to lean in for the rest. Might still make some uncomfortable cause they may feel pressured to do it but I liked this one
automatically thinking that asking is weak feels internalized something2😂, i understand when there are instances when a guys asks awkwardly and ruins the moment, but there is also a way to ask the still has rizz and actually makes it more of a mood maker instead of ruining it.
52:30 Wait until you hear of Kick Streamers-also a couple have been caught for doing some CP/pedo stuff. 53:00 that was a very infamous thing. Even if you never heard of her, it was viral. There were also the people that had to take an adopted kid back or something- it was weird. 54:00 I distinctly remember Amanda Bynes tweeting around that time. It was during her peak "downfall era" when she was getting in all sorts of trouble.
I’m from NYC and as someone that went on some dates before I stayed in a relationship. It’s one of those situations that you have to understand the type of person you’re dating. Similar to the story you said of someone introverted, I asked the question of “ may I kiss you “ and it went well BUT you gotta say it in a nice tone. You can’t sound like a bi*** while saying it. However if you’re on a date with someone that has tough skin and presents herself like that, then you have to match that energy. If not you’ll end up friendzoned or the ending of interacting with that person 😂
There's people saying Jeremy Trainer (played ICarley's/Miranda Cosgrove older brother) was there protecting the kids from Dan. Also, was Boogie/T-bo paid or blackmailed to do the interview?
Nowadays, I rather be safe and ask, you never know. Heard about cases where consent was withdrawn later. (What? BS.) And where false allegations can ruin a guys life. Just be safe. 😑
28:33 there's a comedian named Josh Johnson who did a similar joke on Diddy vs Weinstein lmao. Looking at Weinstein is like oh he did it. 29:17 bonus if they do the negative color effect thing that they do in true crime documentaries
Before my boyfriend and I started officially going out we were on our second date and he asked if he could kiss me. I was shocked for a second because no guy had asked me that before, since I didn’t say anything he was like is that a no? Of course I said yes and I think that is what made me fall for him even more and wanted to be his girlfriend. Now I can understand David’s friend on the part where since we are dating and comfortable he doesn’t need to ask me but it wouldn’t make him weak he’s just communicating and I think that’s important now a days, I would however find it annoying if he asked me that all the time but then that where you come in and communicate with him and say hey you don’t need to ask me for permission to kiss me ya know. Sorry for the long paragraph.😅 Thanks for the episode David and Ed it was fun watching!
personally i like to be asked, i think it’s cute! i think it can be done in a way that flows with the vibe, and tbh i think that people’s ability to read the situation varies a lot from person to person, and so the ask can actually just eliminate the potential for mismatches/mishaps, can make u feel considered and can be done well imho. 🙂 it doesn’t at all have to have a ‘nerdy’/poindexter vibe lmao!
Worked on one of Dan's last shows. It was an animated series for kids but was still pretty chock full of inappropriate innuendos and feet. Oh my god the feet. The crew to this day are convinced he's just a sexual predator who got away with it.
So I am 41 yo and what's weird about dating nowadays, is men from my age expect that women from our dating range would accept anything (first kiss, first deed, etc) quite rapidly. They think because of our age, we don't have that many time waste as we are "old". But in my own opinion, it has nothing to do with age or such. The older you get, the more you know about yourself and. your boundaries. Some guys are really entitled and yes toxic, as they don't respect our choices and boundaries, still trying to push just to see how we'd react... The whole situation when they, they'll wait and talking about inappropriate stuff that usually couples do... Lemme mention also the whole thing about "I don't know what I want" but still wanna be intimate physically with a woman or even on their dating profile there "I don't what I want" or "Short relationship" and added with "wants kids", it doesn't make any sense to me. It's like having double standards. These are a portion what I've encountered since I am in the dating "market" which means 3 years... It looks very exhausting and very desperate, when you just wanna look for a dating potential to marriage but wanting to slowly, just see if they're a potential and get to know them better not based on the looks and temporary infatuation
Urgh my parents especially my mom are hoarders. Not as bad but she keeps stuff, documents etc from the 80s 90s 2000s 2010s. What I do now is sad but I get rid little by little of small random things that are kept in the house and throw them away without them knowing. Otherwise they'll never let me clean up the house. My parents typically keep 30 40 year old suitcases, cassettes, VHS's, books and dictionaries out of dates and which have zero value now. I could probably get a second hand dictionary from 2020s for a few euros but no let's keep the one from 1994😂 I think the way Asians think when keeping stuff is :'If there's room in the house, in a room, in a corner, we can store stuff there'. 😂
I’m okay with either one! I feel like it’s sweet when they ask for consent but honestly I’m pretty forward with my signs so it’s not a huge shock if they take “charge” and make a move LOL
My current partner now, we were vibing & I was okay with it when we went in for the first kiss. Meet halfway, y'know. There was an obvious attraction However, I've had a few guys who just go in for a kiss thinking because maybe they felt we were vibing that attraction to each other, but I didn't reciprocate that same energy. So it actually pissed me off that they had the audacity to lean in. They were also drunk & probably thought I was drunk enough too (One scenario, I was pretty drunk with one of these guys, but SHHHKKKRRRRT! My ass was still aware enough to block that kiss with my big ass cup of beer 😁) Anywho, all this to say, I personally would prefer consent
As a woman I think you shouldn’t have to ask out loud for a kiss when it’s clear that the feeling is mutual. If it’s the first date, and she’s showing that she’s just not that into you by physically keeping distance and not engaging in conversation much , then I think you should definitely ask first.
Not true!!! Drake pleaded guilty just so he can serve his time and get out quickly. He just had a kid and the lawyers let him know that it was gonna be more money and time. And he just wanted to spend time with his baby. He got fucked by the accusations and he didn’t even know she was a minor. My guy innocent. He explained it in a Mexican podcast. (He is loved in Mexico)
I personally would prefer someone to ask me permission to kiss me. ESPECIALLY as a first kiss. But if we really feeling each other then, I'm more open to them going in for the kiss. It really mostly depends on the situation and the person.
I think there's a sexy way to ask for consent without it ruining the mood. Like maintaining eye contact, deliberately looking at the other person's lips, leaning in but stopping just short and allowing the girl to lean in the rest of the way, asking if they want to be kissed, etc etc. This is also why I feel like guys should romance books that the girls are into right now, if not for the plot, but for research on what girls like. 😂 I dont think most women expect to be asked every time if they're dating. This reminds me of this guy I went on a couple dates with and we had been lingering...and it got to the point where I had to ask him if he was going to kiss me. I feel like it just depends on the vibes and people's comfort level. The responsibility is on both parties, but I do agree, given the current climate, women should be more direct. The eye fucking/lash batting, hair twirling thing doesn't work nowadays 😂😂😂
I believe the phrase you are looking for is generational trauma. You experience something so terrible that you in turn pass it on as a part of your legacy
10:30 i think it's also that the guy was way too oblivious for her- in her case, it seemed like it should be very obvious the kiss was going to happen since they were in that mood. So "can I kiss you" could've made her go "tf you think we're doing here? Coloring?" In Robin's case, it seemed like she just met the guy or they weren't THAT close, so him leaning in for a kiss also looks like someone who can't read the room. Imo better safe than sorry. I wonder what their reactions would be if their situations were switched. I think it also comes down to the scenario and situation. Good luck to us autistic people lol.
My mom made me sell my first addition Pokémon deck binder for $20 to a child. I know would destroy them. We are moving to Canada and she said there was no room in the car. I had 3 Charizard shiny I think one was even from Japan. So many gone. It was a thick binder.
Hi David just wanted to say I love hearing and watching your podcast on both TH-cam and Apple. Also, If you want more info of Drake Bell’s conviction case Boze actually dives into it. In my opinion eventho Drake was abused in the past, it doesn’t excuse his behavior for SA a teenage girl, so he isn’t innocent either and he also doesn’t deserve sympathy from others.
I know Drake went through some crazy disgusting stuff, but I can never not see him as a pedophile. There was a court case where it was shown he was going after preteen and teenage girls. And that his wife was cosigning and not treating the situation with the care that was due. Just backed her man. I know that this could be due to psychological trauma, but you're a whole adult. You still have common sense. Leave the children alone.
So when i once worked on a set with kids.. kid actors.. and this wasn’t a alist or b list.. it was an indies movie funded by the gov.. I’ve seen some of the kids and actors in other shows.. but hte problem , biggest problem ARE THE PARENTS. This 13 year old had an IG.. the parents were making HIM upload pictures.. the parents were gloating to each other who their kid worked with.. the parents were enjoying this more than the kids.. the kids , were pretty obnoxious ( not in a kid way) but name dropping, pompous.. its the type of person you want to slap them in the face cause theyr’e so snobby.. but you bite your tongue.. but all this behaviour is reinforced by the parents who are living vicariously through their kids. ITs one of the experiences i hated the most and it was worse seeing .. the parents did this to them.. So, when you hear about sa and grape in this industry - the parents allowed it, whatever it takes for the $$ and the climb off the backs off their kids.. its disgusting… and why i do prefer 30 year olds pretending to be kids.. cause at least you are garanteed there is no child abuse on set by workers or their own parents.
From the doc, to me Dan Schneider is/was a chauvinist to those he considered peers or close/under him with teen boy humour, hence, his support for Drake and at best indifference to other female cast.
For some of the other cast members this is gonna sound terrible and in know ppl take it the wrong way like with the black guy taking about mental health. I felt like they were convinced they were traumatized.
31:38 agree.. i think trying to make things look worse makes it seem eve more fabricated.. even if they are right.. it makes you look like you have a agenda.. You can litearlly makes someone look guilty just walking, slowing it down, scary down, black vignette and desaturate.. Just do it with not bells and whistles.. those are always the best documentary’s aka just a court trail.. let the evidence speak for itself.
Yes because that’s clearly what I said… I said the me too movement was about people who are dating and are into each other. That’s exactly what I said… OR I was using it as an example to highlight that it changed the landscape of consent so people even in situations with mutual dating, are defining how they should move forward in an intimate situation AND how people in the dating world have different perspective about what mutual consent is. But somehow you picked up… me too movement is about mutual dating?
I just want to say ladies thanks for speaking up about your preferences though. Obviously it’s personal experience but it’s dope that y’all are being verbal about how you want to be approached! Really dope!
I can’t speak for other women but to experience trauma in my younger years where people just take what they want without my consent…hearing someone ask permission is really reassuring.
I wonder if trauma affects this more than “ media and the culture?’.. cause yes external influences are a thing but most things that really shape our behaviour is from experience.. no matter how small..
Like.. my dad hit me.. and always screamed at me.. so i do have trauma and I’m jumpy when i hear my name ( it’s kinda f up).. i actaully do flinch and get scared.. same if someone comes from behind me and touches me.. i litearlly fall cause of trauma. I’m now wondering if maybe i was SA by my teacher as well ( not like agressive but like wanting to sit on his lap, and all the girls kinda wanting to sit in the front seat get his attention.. i wonder if all of that also contributes my fear of guys touching me.. ) so i get if someone says ‘ can i kiss you.. or sit beside you.. we will go to ‘ this is a good guy’.. vs our trauma instincts kick in.
Even in like those asmr videos.. when the guy asks to kiss a lot of girls in the comment really like that part.. and say it’s sexy.. so ya.. very intersting convo
I was thinking the same thing. I've been abused in the past, so it's more reassuring than it is a turn-off. I've only been close like that with people I've known for a year or more, though. So there was already more trust established, and I didn't mind they made the first move without asking. Definitely seems to vary from person to person.
If it's the FIRST kiss, the guy asking for permission isn't a sign of weakness. To me, that's more an indication that he's a good man who is considerate enough to want to make the girl feel safe. He's being a gentleman and is showing that he cares about what she thinks. At the very beginning of a new relationship, you don't know each other's cues yet. Better to ask permission for that first kiss than risk violating trust with a person you're really into.
Now, if you've been together for awhile, already had your first kiss, and he's still asking? That's just weird and creepy. Run.
Hearing how your dad all a sudden became a contractor bc he wanted to make Mariel feel comfortable ❤️❤️🥰😂
I’d rather a guy ask for consent than risk him assuming something and have him breach my boundaries. Alot of men assume you want something when you dont. It’s not a turn off to know the other person cares to respect your comfort.
Youve *gotta* get Gina on the pod! Its been a while since shes been on and i wanna hear you talk to a woman about dating preferences and stories (esp how she feels about that red choi situation now that a lot of time has passed)
Hi, Gen Z here. As someone in her 20's, I definitely want the guy to ask for permission and I would do the same too if i want to initiate it. I don't necessarily have any heavy trauma that effects my preference like your friend. I think this generation does not or at least associate "weak" guys less with being gay. The bad connotations for being gay is also less imo. All this is to say, women who do not want guys to ask for permission are much much less in the newer generation, situations where consent was not asked are far more looked down upon than for being "weak". Again imo, asking for permission/consent is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of respect and consideration. Men who prioritise making the girl feel safe is better than men who prioritise making themselves look "stronger" or decisive.
Ed's underwear story reminds me of Bart's story of being in high school and a girl invited him over for a "party" and was "conveniently" the only person there. Also reminds me of an old Vine I just saw the other day lol
"did someone order a sausage pizza?"
"yeah, but i don't have any money😏😏"
(walking out the door) "then why the fuck did you order a pizza..."
Based off of my own personal experiences, most of the boys that i grew up with did NOT have a good father figure in their life. So they grow up without the proper knowledge of "hey this is someone's boundaries, no means no" they also tend to lack their own boundaries especially when it comes to relationships.
Its always dependent on the person. Game hasnt really changed, only experience. Younger generations have far less social experience than we did the same age. There is definitely varibles to this that also factor (looks, experience, communication, etc), but game is still required and that will never change. You can only get better by stumbling through experience, which is what a lot of younger generations are completely missing or trying to avoid by watching weirdos online.
And as for trauma, ppl deal with the same exact trama very differently, which 1 of the main reasons why comedy has been one of the best forms of therapy.
I'm laughing so hard at Ed story to watch a movie 🤣🤣🤣 🥰
If the documentary wasn't convincing, you should see how Dan responded to it... It was clearly a set-up interview. Have you seen the scenes he had some kids do? It wasn't just all behind the scenes. It wasn't like SpongeBob where adult jokes were a tongue-in-cheek nod to adults but doesn't really affect the kids, it was his actual fetish disguised as a "kid joke" .
37:15 Disney hired him.
Resembles, John K. The creator olg Ren & Stimpy... Amazing artist that has to be separated from the art, cause he's abusive animators and a pedo who brought a kid on.
Spidey from The Behavioual Arts did a behaviour and body analysis break down of this. If you don't know he specialises in criminal interrogation, sociology and psychology. Stating he felt uncomfortable.
@@VorpalSnickerSnack I'll check it out
I think what people forget about all this is that he wasn't the only one doing this stuff it was a good bunch of staff members and workers and especially the writers making kids do weird shit and even straight up sexual stuff it's a lot worse than people think
I did hear that the girl that drake bell was talking to lied about her age and when he found out he stopped messaging her and she kept stalking him. But his reputation was already affected especially because of his history with Brian.
My Chinese grandma threw away my OG guitar hero set..the guitars and drum set but she uses an egg carton for our utensils and keeps every pasta jar🥲
I wish the podcast was longer.
This podcast makes my week❤️🔥 love when Ed is on!
Netflix and Chill is literally just watch a movie and relax to me.
Good discussion. Thank you, David and Ed.
19:15 lmaooo david's face during that bit
😂😂😂😂
I think it's more a lack of social experience. Especially for those who have no experience but even when it comes to those who do, not everyone recognizes the same social cues. If you're socially awkward you're not going to pick up social cues that other people are putting out. Possibly worse, you might think you're getting cues when you're actually not. And the extends to those who are socially experienced because not everyone has the same cues. Some people might call you all kinds of nasty derogatory terms but while to them it's a way to show intimacy and the ability to rag on each other, you might find it insulting and hurtful.
One thing I find is most people assume that their experiences and understandings are universal. Because I know something to be a certain way, obviously other people should think the same. And most people aren't inquisitive enough to keep learning and discovering past what they find to be their comfort zone, so should something fail for them they're completely baffled and in some cases believe they've been slighted.
Bro my mom would put her hand on the back of the TV 2 I was like damn woman who thinks of that shit 😂
the kissing thing is understandably hard lol. i've gone in to initiate the first kiss without asking. I wouldn't really mind if they did the same, but that's because it was sooo clear how much we mutually wanted to stay real close and well, kissing would close the gap! i would love it just as much if they asked to kiss me for the first time, though. it's endearing and safe because i can mentally prepare. but after that first time? just do it. i would also assume that, after a while, we've shared each other's preferences on how to show affection publically and privately.
When it comes to dating/making your move... what I learned is...
1) Stay true to yourself. If you personally prefer to ask before doing something, then do it. If you rather make a move without asking, then do it! Be true to yourself.
2) Be okay with rejection (you're gaurenteed rejections and failures in life). So far from what I experience, girls actually like it when a guy can take rejection.
Combining 1 and 2: the right one will respond in ur favor. If u ask, the right one will like that. Or, the right one will tell u "hey next time jsut do and dont ask." Vice versa. If u make a move without asking, the right one will like that, or they will tell u "hey next time id prefer it if u ask." Everyone is different. Be okay with rejection, its not the end of the world.
3) Always learn from your experience and improve for the better. Meaning if u have no game at all, improve! Maybe dont ask too much. Maybe learn social qeueus to know when to make a move vs asking. Maybe improve on ur fashion, health, looks, social skills, etc.
Yay a new ep! Sitting, fam! 💙💙💙
14:53 yeah I grew up in the Bronx and moved during high school, had to change the way I spoke because I was rubbing people the wrong way 😅.
Im telling you... going to new york for the first when I was in my early 20's and not knowing how the women were like there SHOOK ME!!! lol I aint never felt like so emasculated lol!!!
I think you need to have some context to understand that scene in the documentary where Dan Schneider scares one of his actresses. That actress was Jeanette McCurdy, and she was the one who wrote her memoir that caused people to start investigating him and Nickelodeon. She said he used to give her massages and offer her alcohol when she was underage. So it wouldn’t be surprising if she didn’t enjoy being scared by him.
Oh Ed 😂 that story was too funny
Ahhhhhh lol David family love their daughter n law more😂😂😂😂😂🥰that’s sweeet tho
Yay new episode
this is crazy cuz i just had an arguement with my dad bout hoarding this morning lol
Trauma never goes away, now imagine trauma as a child. It affects you as you grow and become an adult. I STILL have issues with relationships because of my assault in each category. Not romantic, nope. Friendships and socializing. I overthink, I have social anxiety, never had a romantic relationship because I don't trust people to respect my boundaries, and fear intimacy. Still working on it of course with my therapist, but the fact that I have these issues in the first place....all from trauma as a child.
I just imagine my friends chilling with me, listening and helping them in a group, and having a spouse who gives me my space and respects my boundaries. I hope I can get that.
David we are your besties 👯♀️and I had my feet up and had my water ready for the tea ☕️🤣🤣
Im literally Ed. Girls have told me before and I still didn’t believe them 😂
lol 😅18:38 I would have thought that too. Hearing it from someone else is hilarious.
Ed is so pure hearted 😂
NY here, in my younger years, I'm much older now, I never wanted someone( if we were feeling each other) to ask to kiss me. Neve ever. Now? I feel like asking is nice. You can assess the situation you're in and go from there. Quiet on Set was really disturbing. Dan is a creepy, disgusting man. The man who took advantage and destroyed Drake's life should have gotten put under the prison.
Nah Ed, that movie story is insane, i think you might just actually be gay😭
Haha the asian hoarder is prevalent. Just came home to clean the house and found taco spice that I used to sell for the swim club in 2014!
There’s that advice from the Hitch movie called the 80/20 rule? Guy leans in 80% of the way and the woman can choose if she wants a kiss, to lean in for the rest. Might still make some uncomfortable cause they may feel pressured to do it but I liked this one
Awesome episode!
21:08-21:20
this man even does the fucking slam poetry in the ads BRUH
My dumbass read pottery n I was like nah I didn’t see him slam any pots
automatically thinking that asking is weak feels internalized something2😂, i understand when there are instances when a guys asks awkwardly and ruins the moment, but there is also a way to ask the still has rizz and actually makes it more of a mood maker instead of ruining it.
52:30 Wait until you hear of Kick Streamers-also a couple have been caught for doing some CP/pedo stuff.
53:00 that was a very infamous thing. Even if you never heard of her, it was viral. There were also the people that had to take an adopted kid back or something- it was weird.
54:00 I distinctly remember Amanda Bynes tweeting around that time. It was during her peak "downfall era" when she was getting in all sorts of trouble.
1:00:43 david so bringing out his inner kat williams moment 🤣🤣🤣🤣
19:30, how can i trust this guys critiques when he cant even read context clues??? XD
I’m from NYC and as someone that went on some dates before I stayed in a relationship. It’s one of those situations that you have to understand the type of person you’re dating. Similar to the story you said of someone introverted, I asked the question of “ may I kiss you “ and it went well BUT you gotta say it in a nice tone. You can’t sound like a bi*** while saying it. However if you’re on a date with someone that has tough skin and presents herself like that, then you have to match that energy. If not you’ll end up friendzoned or the ending of interacting with that person 😂
There's people saying Jeremy Trainer (played ICarley's/Miranda Cosgrove older brother) was there protecting the kids from Dan. Also, was Boogie/T-bo paid or blackmailed to do the interview?
werther's CANDYYYYYY skjksjksjksjk
Ayo why you gotta do A.K. like that 💀💀💀💀😭but i do agree 💀💀💀💀
The nick cannon standup statement is crazyyyy💀😭😂
Nowadays, I rather be safe and ask, you never know. Heard about cases where consent was withdrawn later. (What? BS.) And where false allegations can ruin a guys life. Just be safe. 😑
28:33 there's a comedian named Josh Johnson who did a similar joke on Diddy vs Weinstein lmao. Looking at Weinstein is like oh he did it.
29:17 bonus if they do the negative color effect thing that they do in true crime documentaries
Before my boyfriend and I started officially going out we were on our second date and he asked if he could kiss me. I was shocked for a second because no guy had asked me that before, since I didn’t say anything he was like is that a no? Of course I said yes and I think that is what made me fall for him even more and wanted to be his girlfriend. Now I can understand David’s friend on the part where since we are dating and comfortable he doesn’t need to ask me but it wouldn’t make him weak he’s just communicating and I think that’s important now a days, I would however find it annoying if he asked me that all the time but then that where you come in and communicate with him and say hey you don’t need to ask me for permission to kiss me ya know.
Sorry for the long paragraph.😅 Thanks for the episode David and Ed it was fun watching!
All these views and no likes, y’all better drop a like for papa David.
I experienced Ed's Movie night experience.
personally i like to be asked, i think it’s cute! i think it can be done in a way that flows with the vibe, and tbh i think that people’s ability to read the situation varies a lot from person to person, and so the ask can actually just eliminate the potential for mismatches/mishaps, can make u feel considered and can be done well imho. 🙂 it doesn’t at all have to have a ‘nerdy’/poindexter vibe lmao!
Who's the comedian you guys were talking about at the end??
TIL David was gonna be casted in Wild N Out that wouldve been insane
Justice for the kids and teens!
DAVIDSOOOOO 🎉
I would much prefer a guy asking me first for consent and I don’t know how that is considered weak?? I’m confused.
It’s like littlr mermaid , just kiss the girl lol. But only if its really really obvious but i can understand both 11:37
Worked on one of Dan's last shows. It was an animated series for kids but was still pretty chock full of inappropriate innuendos and feet. Oh my god the feet. The crew to this day are convinced he's just a sexual predator who got away with it.
So I am 41 yo and what's weird about dating nowadays, is men from my age expect that women from our dating range would accept anything (first kiss, first deed, etc) quite rapidly. They think because of our age, we don't have that many time waste as we are "old". But in my own opinion, it has nothing to do with age or such. The older you get, the more you know about yourself and. your boundaries. Some guys are really entitled and yes toxic, as they don't respect our choices and boundaries, still trying to push just to see how we'd react... The whole situation when they, they'll wait and talking about inappropriate stuff that usually couples do... Lemme mention also the whole thing about "I don't know what I want" but still wanna be intimate physically with a woman or even on their dating profile there "I don't what I want" or "Short relationship" and added with "wants kids", it doesn't make any sense to me. It's like having double standards. These are a portion what I've encountered since I am in the dating "market" which means 3 years... It looks very exhausting and very desperate, when you just wanna look for a dating potential to marriage but wanting to slowly, just see if they're a potential and get to know them better not based on the looks and temporary infatuation
Urgh my parents especially my mom are hoarders. Not as bad but she keeps stuff, documents etc from the 80s 90s 2000s 2010s. What I do now is sad but I get rid little by little of small random things that are kept in the house and throw them away without them knowing. Otherwise they'll never let me clean up the house. My parents typically keep 30 40 year old suitcases, cassettes, VHS's, books and dictionaries out of dates and which have zero value now. I could probably get a second hand dictionary from 2020s for a few euros but no let's keep the one from 1994😂
I think the way Asians think when keeping stuff is :'If there's room in the house, in a room, in a corner, we can store stuff there'. 😂
as a guy, would you rather risk turning someone off or risk assaulting someone?
I’m okay with either one! I feel like it’s sweet when they ask for consent but honestly I’m pretty forward with my signs so it’s not a huge shock if they take “charge” and make a move LOL
I get it breaks the mood/rhythm, but if I was a girl, I can't see myself being offended. Those girls need a dose of reality.
My current partner now, we were vibing & I was okay with it when we went in for the first kiss. Meet halfway, y'know. There was an obvious attraction
However, I've had a few guys who just go in for a kiss thinking because maybe they felt we were vibing that attraction to each other, but I didn't reciprocate that same energy. So it actually pissed me off that they had the audacity to lean in. They were also drunk & probably thought I was drunk enough too (One scenario, I was pretty drunk with one of these guys, but SHHHKKKRRRRT! My ass was still aware enough to block that kiss with my big ass cup of beer 😁) Anywho, all this to say, I personally would prefer consent
Hi Davis and Ed
As a woman I think you shouldn’t have to ask out loud for a kiss when it’s clear that the feeling is mutual. If it’s the first date, and she’s showing that she’s just not that into you by physically keeping distance and not engaging in conversation much , then I think you should definitely ask first.
Seems like consent isn't the main issue with dating lately, but easy deal breakers. The kissing thing is a simple convo about boundaries 🤦🏾♂️
Not true!!! Drake pleaded guilty just so he can serve his time and get out quickly. He just had a kid and the lawyers let him know that it was gonna be more money and time. And he just wanted to spend time with his baby. He got fucked by the accusations and he didn’t even know she was a minor. My guy innocent. He explained it in a Mexican podcast. (He is loved in Mexico)
And it was a long time ago so the details are clunky in my head but he is NOT A PEDOPHILE.
The heartbreak I feel when no one knows Roundhouse.
Crazy world
I personally would prefer someone to ask me permission to kiss me. ESPECIALLY as a first kiss. But if we really feeling each other then, I'm more open to them going in for the kiss. It really mostly depends on the situation and the person.
I think there's a sexy way to ask for consent without it ruining the mood. Like maintaining eye contact, deliberately looking at the other person's lips, leaning in but stopping just short and allowing the girl to lean in the rest of the way, asking if they want to be kissed, etc etc. This is also why I feel like guys should romance books that the girls are into right now, if not for the plot, but for research on what girls like. 😂
I dont think most women expect to be asked every time if they're dating. This reminds me of this guy I went on a couple dates with and we had been lingering...and it got to the point where I had to ask him if he was going to kiss me.
I feel like it just depends on the vibes and people's comfort level. The responsibility is on both parties, but I do agree, given the current climate, women should be more direct. The eye fucking/lash batting, hair twirling thing doesn't work nowadays 😂😂😂
I believe the phrase you are looking for is generational trauma. You experience something so terrible that you in turn pass it on as a part of your legacy
As a child who watched these shows… dan was devilish
if you gonna ask for a kiss, you've gotta to ask with charm lol. it drops the mood a bit and btxs don't like it... btxs be cray doe lol
10:30 i think it's also that the guy was way too oblivious for her- in her case, it seemed like it should be very obvious the kiss was going to happen since they were in that mood. So "can I kiss you" could've made her go "tf you think we're doing here? Coloring?" In Robin's case, it seemed like she just met the guy or they weren't THAT close, so him leaning in for a kiss also looks like someone who can't read the room. Imo better safe than sorry. I wonder what their reactions would be if their situations were switched. I think it also comes down to the scenario and situation.
Good luck to us autistic people lol.
now im curious which person he meant in the end bc im scared it's who i think it might be based on what i hear after before the bleep..😭
My mom made me sell my first addition Pokémon deck binder for $20 to a child. I know would destroy them. We are moving to Canada and she said there was no room in the car. I had 3 Charizard shiny I think one was even from Japan. So many gone. It was a thick binder.
You should listen to Nickelodeon girls by Joji
Hi David just wanted to say I love hearing and watching your podcast on both TH-cam and Apple. Also, If you want more info of Drake Bell’s conviction case Boze actually dives into it. In my opinion eventho Drake was abused in the past, it doesn’t excuse his behavior for SA a teenage girl, so he isn’t innocent either and he also doesn’t deserve sympathy from others.
9:49
I ask. I don’t assume to know what a woman wants because women be tripping and it’s difficult to trust em. Just being honest.
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Dan fr does come off like a diddler doe. You can just tell with some people
I find it funny they are complaining about their parents throwing THEIR stuff away. Adults using parents for storage. 😂😂😂
I know Drake went through some crazy disgusting stuff, but I can never not see him as a pedophile. There was a court case where it was shown he was going after preteen and teenage girls. And that his wife was cosigning and not treating the situation with the care that was due. Just backed her man. I know that this could be due to psychological trauma, but you're a whole adult. You still have common sense. Leave the children alone.
So when i once worked on a set with kids.. kid actors.. and this wasn’t a alist or b list.. it was an indies movie funded by the gov.. I’ve seen some of the kids and actors in other shows.. but hte problem , biggest problem ARE THE PARENTS. This 13 year old had an IG.. the parents were making HIM upload pictures.. the parents were gloating to each other who their kid worked with.. the parents were enjoying this more than the kids.. the kids , were pretty obnoxious ( not in a kid way) but name dropping, pompous.. its the type of person you want to slap them in the face cause theyr’e so snobby.. but you bite your tongue.. but all this behaviour is reinforced by the parents who are living vicariously through their kids. ITs one of the experiences i hated the most and it was worse seeing .. the parents did this to them..
So, when you hear about sa and grape in this industry - the parents allowed it, whatever it takes for the $$ and the climb off the backs off their kids.. its disgusting… and why i do prefer 30 year olds pretending to be kids.. cause at least you are garanteed there is no child abuse on set by workers or their own parents.
From the doc, to me Dan Schneider is/was a chauvinist to those he considered peers or close/under him with teen boy humour, hence, his support for Drake and at best indifference to other female cast.
To be fair, Dan was only kind to male cast members and treated the female cast members terribly and clearly sexualized them
BRB 29:41
37:47
For some of the other cast members this is gonna sound terrible and in know ppl take it the wrong way like with the black guy taking about mental health. I felt like they were convinced they were traumatized.
isn't also the creator of ren and stimpy a groomer and pdfile too?
YOOOOOO
31:38 agree.. i think trying to make things look worse makes it seem eve more fabricated.. even if they are right.. it makes you look like you have a agenda..
You can litearlly makes someone look guilty just walking, slowing it down, scary down, black vignette and desaturate..
Just do it with not bells and whistles.. those are always the best documentary’s aka just a court trail.. let the evidence speak for itself.
👍👍
the me-too movement isn’t about people that are dating and clearly into each other.
Yes because that’s clearly what I said… I said the me too movement was about people who are dating and are into each other. That’s exactly what I said…
OR I was using it as an example to highlight that it changed the landscape of consent so people even in situations with mutual dating, are defining how they should move forward in an intimate situation AND how people in the dating world have different perspective about what mutual consent is.
But somehow you picked up… me too movement is about mutual dating?