"THE BATMAN THEME SONG PLAYED BY THE MARKETTS" by Michael R. Clem © 2024

Performed at The Local, Charlottesville VA
6May24
“THE BATMAN THEME SONG PLAYED BY THE MARKETTS”
by Michael R. Clem © 2024
Video by Colleen Yax
LYRICS
The Batman Theme Song Played By The Marketts was the coolest record ever
an LP bought by my mom at Giant grocery, I played that thing forever!
Themes for Batman, Robin, Penguin - even the Bat Cave got a song
I’d watch that platter spin at 33 1/3 - I’d fight crime and jam along
I slipped that disc into its cover sleeve, and thought I’d share the joy
and rush right over to Charlie Barker’s - y’know, the bucktooth neighborhood boy
But in my hasty excited exit, as I blew past our front screen door
My precious vinyl flew out of its sleeve and crashed right on the floor
(Wham, Bang, Pow!)
The concrete walk, to be exact, as it chipped the record’s outer rim
It looked like the Cookie Monster himself had taken a big bite out of him
I now could no longer play Tracks 1 on either album side
& that meant The Batman Theme itself, and oh how I cried and cried
I was the saddest boy in the entire metropolitan city of Gotham
I stomped inside in a rage, & locked myself in the Botham
Hours later when I emerged, and finished all my stewin’
I returned to my mono turntable, with a fine idea brewin’
In an act of sad futility, I would try to play the first tune
I’d lift the needle when the hole came around, and try to remeet the groove (manually)
I not only missed the appropriate groove, I even missed all track one
Of all the dumb ideas of my youth, I think that was the stupidest one
The Batman Theme Song Played By The Marketts was the coolest record ever
But sadly with a shark bite on the rim, the song was gone forever
Robin has certainly laid an egg, but the Joker, he ain’t jokin’
The Batman Theme Song Played By The Marketts, is sadly … BROKEN