You'll change your mind once you get a boyfriend.

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 296

  • @IshAmethyst
    @IshAmethyst 5 ปีที่แล้ว +650

    Everyone thought I'd change my mind when I got to Uni. But I didn't - even when a boyfriend came along. Girls we've got this, by the grace of God. It is possible because you're not doing it on your own. God is fighting for you!

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Thank you for your witness here :)

  • @AshleyYourLifeHisVoice
    @AshleyYourLifeHisVoice 5 ปีที่แล้ว +138

    the one i heard THE MOST was "you test drive a car before you buy it" and my response was a little more cocky but it left people without a response ..
    it was "you don't test drive a rolls royce. you either want it or you don't". And i do see it that way because i hold my values and my commitment to God is such high regard that it is a precious thing to hold, and you are either going to commit knowing my value or you and your lower standards can walk away.
    Harsh to some, but it is my truth.

    • @thereserichards9160
      @thereserichards9160 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Love this, girl! Very well put indeed!

    • @TanyaKatherine
      @TanyaKatherine 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      That is PERFECT! I love what you said!

  • @Maria-dx6iq
    @Maria-dx6iq 5 ปีที่แล้ว +350

    I will NEVER change my mind, and if a guy I'm dating pushes me to not be pure...bye boy! Girls out there, God is first and the boy is second. Always stand firm to what you have promised to God and to yourself! Thank you for this video Emily!! love you :D #Amen #StayPure

    • @AshleyYourLifeHisVoice
      @AshleyYourLifeHisVoice 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      love the fire behind these words!!
      my husband wasn't a christian when I met him, and even with that, the minute he found out about my decision to wait until marriage he supported it because of how strong my stance was. He found God, we we dated 2.5 yrs, engaged 6mths, (+2 of friendship) and we waited! And on the tougher days were my hormones wanted more, it was him that stood for my values and honour.

  • @hannahcherney5627
    @hannahcherney5627 5 ปีที่แล้ว +259

    “Excuse me while I roll my eyes from California to Kentucky” 😂 yes Emily, seriously. That perfectly sums up my reaction too

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Glad you're in solidarity on that 😂

  • @laurentheheiress98
    @laurentheheiress98 5 ปีที่แล้ว +160

    22, single, and going strong!! I've heard a combination of negative things.
    "Oh, that's cute."
    "Your boyfriend's never gonna stay with you if you hold out on him."
    "TBH you should get practice."
    "You're the only one making that decision."
    "You're repressing yourself."

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Good ridiculous additions to the list. So silly the things people say.

    • @IshAmethyst
      @IshAmethyst 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Heard the you should get practice one! 'How will you know what you like?'. I'm sure I'll figure it out when I'm married?

  • @Lovlytune
    @Lovlytune 5 ปีที่แล้ว +142

    "That's so unfair to the man" is something I've heard a lot.

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 ปีที่แล้ว +112

      Oh GOSH!!!!!!!!! That is just pathetic!!

    • @Lovlytune
      @Lovlytune 5 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      @@emwilss I never know what to say except "So I'm not apart of the picture then?"

    • @faithwisdom788
      @faithwisdom788 5 ปีที่แล้ว +49

      "I disagree. A man is not entitled to me and my body and if he doesn't like it he can leave.. If he truly loves me he can purpose and marry me." How's that sound?

    • @IshAmethyst
      @IshAmethyst 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Ah yeah heard this one - like 'do you think you'll actually find a guy who wants to wait?' 'he'll only wait so long for you' etc.

    • @marystellarg4121
      @marystellarg4121 5 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      I've heard that, I hate. It's pathetic and disrespectful on so many levels to both men and women.

  • @emeleeortiz6529
    @emeleeortiz6529 5 ปีที่แล้ว +83

    I dated one man who was “okay” with my choice to save sex for marriage. But in reality it was not “okay”. I felt a constant weight over me telling me I needed to do something to keep him around. I unfortunately gave into pressure and advances he made. The minute I broke up with him I had such a sense of FREEDOM! I will never again be “okay” with someone who pretends to tolerate my beliefs. Sweet gals, you all deserve so much more than a man who tolerates you. Yes, getting a boyfriend makes chastity harder. But having a husband who has promised his life to you is worth the wait. Your heart deserves far more than conditional love. Cheers to all the beautiful ladies and gentlemen waiting for each other, ready to exemplify the love of Christ to the world!

  • @shannonrandall7871
    @shannonrandall7871 5 ปีที่แล้ว +109

    Broke up with my boyfriend who I was madly in love with because of this. If maintaining a relationship requires compromising on your most fundamental beliefs then I don't want to.

    • @mariposarn8038
      @mariposarn8038 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Good for you Shannon! If someone wants to be disrespectful and push the presence of your boundaries, introduce them to the presence of your absence. No relationship is worth not being valued. He should love and respect that, not pressure or bully you into fulfilling his sexual needs for the moment. Stay strong! You've got this!

    • @sarahbourne1872
      @sarahbourne1872 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      That's the attitude!

  • @alyssabird720
    @alyssabird720 5 ปีที่แล้ว +262

    I have had a couple of boyfriends. I never wanted to have sex with any of them outside of marriage! We only ever pecked on the lips.
    Now with my current boyfriend that I've been dating for 8 months,we have not even kissed!
    We love waiting! It makes us more intimate emotionally and spiritually!
    It's easy to wait when you're BOTH wanting to respect each other's boundaries. It's a beautiful thing!

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      I have a friend waiting until marriage to kiss, she is currently engaged, and it is a beautiful decision that I respect so very much!

    • @alyssabird720
      @alyssabird720 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@emwilss yeah, we've decided to wait until engagement to kiss, but who knows? Maybe we'll decide to wait until marriage to kiss. I do feel weird about sharing my first kiss in front of lots of people, though 😂

  • @rosemarydriscoll2888
    @rosemarydriscoll2888 5 ปีที่แล้ว +163

    I always feel like when people find out I’m a virgin and waiting for marriage they act like I don’t know what sex is and I’m like 🤦🏻‍♀️ umm nope definitely very aware which is why I have chosen to make it special for me and my future husband.
    Love this video! Thank you!

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      For sure, girl. I thought the SAME thing.

  • @Nikki-ks6wi
    @Nikki-ks6wi 5 ปีที่แล้ว +123

    It's so much easier to say no and walk away feeling good about yourself in the long run than to say yes and have to regret to overcome.

  • @TheGeekApprentice
    @TheGeekApprentice 5 ปีที่แล้ว +173

    YAS! I get so incredibly peeved by the people saying I'm "adorable" for choosing this or that I'm apparently just "too afraid" of the apparent good I'm missing out on. And I'm like, yes, it is a good...so good in fact that I am choosing to respect my soul and my body by saving that good for the one person I can trust will not abandon me the day after: my future husband. And only once we've made that commitment to each other, not before, will we engage in that. We are all worth more than low standards.

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      I bet the people blink their eyes stunned at your conviction. Go. Girl.

    • @missjesscrafts4603
      @missjesscrafts4603 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      YES!!!! This is amazing. Thank you!!

  • @halimorrow6025
    @halimorrow6025 5 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    The first time I told someone that was saving sex for marriage the responce was "you realize no man will ever stay with you". I was 11. Thankfully I never believed it. I am 21 still going strong. Something I like to remember when I'm feeling down is that even if the people around me don't believe in me God always does and with him anything is possible!

  • @hannahrosereviews5073
    @hannahrosereviews5073 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I've been told (mostly by other female friends) that I will never find a husband because no guy would be willing to wait for me. To that, I would respond with "Well then, I won't have a husband. Simple!"
    I've also been told that it will be very difficult to find my future husband. To that I would respond with "It'll make it easier for me to find Mr. Right because he will be the one willing to wait."

  • @samuelscarborough859
    @samuelscarborough859 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    "You're just making up an excuse for not getting laid"
    I hear that so often it stopped bothering me.
    Every chaste man has heard that multiple times.

  • @gracestier6447
    @gracestier6447 5 ปีที่แล้ว +178

    Heard this so much!!! Many people don’t believe that my boyfriend and I have a chaste relationship!

    • @IshAmethyst
      @IshAmethyst 5 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      Oh yeah that's so frustrating! When people assume you guys are actually lying, but it's just a reflection of them, not of you!

    • @kathleengaffney52
      @kathleengaffney52 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Same here girl!

    • @allisonclark491
      @allisonclark491 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @lisa lol. Just kidding. Keep fighting the good fight. Proud of you!

    • @leslieisepic
      @leslieisepic 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Completely relate as I'm in a chaste relationship with my boyfriend. It's like it's expected to have sex once you're going steady with someone. People can't just accept that you're choosing to remain chaste despite that the majority of people are giving into their sexual desires. My boyfriend and I are both committed to waiting until we're married despite what other people tell us, including family members.

  • @10Raccoon
    @10Raccoon 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I once had coworkers actually laugh at me when they found out I was 18 and still a virgin. Then they started pushing me to hook up with the dish washer even though I had met him like once.
    I will be 22 tomorrow, still never had a boyfriend, still never had sex and definitely still waiting.

  • @RachelESmart
    @RachelESmart 5 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    “You can’t just believe everything your mom does. You need to have your own opinions.” -my friend 🙄

  • @chrissylong6001
    @chrissylong6001 5 ปีที่แล้ว +163

    I always wonder why people even care? It me. My life. Why does my personal choice to wait bother you?

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      I always wonder the very same thing.

    • @tracib.7725
      @tracib.7725 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      In my experience with these sorts it’s because they can’t/couldn’t and they are either jealous, they actually pity you or find it amusing.
      Jealous- be flattered
      Pity- appreciate they care
      Amused- blow them off. They are twisted and don’t deserve your time.

    • @shanaeb4814
      @shanaeb4814 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I’m someone who’s waiting and personally have run into what people feel like it means for them if/when they find out. To them it doesn’t matter what or how it’s said. What matters is that they “feel” like you’re shaming them, being self righteous, or holier then thou. Especially if they didn’t/aren’t/ or again waiting. As in what they think/feel you think or say of them.

    • @kristinamitrova5210
      @kristinamitrova5210 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Honestly, I couldn’t agree more. I just wish Christians had the same “practise what they preach attitude” when the shoe was on the other foot - respecting other lifestyles as they expect others to respect their own. I mean, come on, people, it’s basic human morale! I personally disagree with the Christian view of this issue, but since people making this private choice literally doesn’t harm anybody, I will never go further than saying I don’t share their opinion. If I’m asked to elaborate why, sure, I will, but I will never use demeaning or entitled language. And I quite frankly wish that Christians (and it’s not all Christians, but sadly, it’s the majority) did the same when discussing other lifestyles that harm no one, just don’t align with their doctrine. Peace.

    • @withsisu2324
      @withsisu2324 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      For real though! They always make a point about minding their own business when it comes to same sex marriage and similar issues but when it comes to a Christian's chose of no sex before marriage they lose their minds!

  • @playlists8989
    @playlists8989 5 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philipians 4:13

  • @jujujuj0ce
    @jujujuj0ce 5 ปีที่แล้ว +69

    I always hear the “aww you’re so innocent ☺️” one!!! 😓😓😓

    • @nobody-og5tl
      @nobody-og5tl 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      ughhhh yes people tell me that all the time (I'm 20, single, and never had a boyfriend yet)

    • @sambailie4773
      @sambailie4773 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      It's so patronising when they say that x

  • @thomasturton1118
    @thomasturton1118 5 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Guy here: me and my wife didn't change our minds. Further still guys/gals: if they try and pressure you into that kind of thing, dump them on the spot.

  • @AnaLu07
    @AnaLu07 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Hey,guys!!Can you pray for me??I'm passing through some hard times of insecurity and fear!!God bless y'all!!

  • @spider-sonicproductions531
    @spider-sonicproductions531 5 ปีที่แล้ว +61

    I’ve had someone tell me that having sex is a normal part of dating and even the purpose of it. 😱 God bless and protect us all!!
    Emily, you are such an inspiration and your videos continually affirm my choices to strive to live a virtuous life and you give me so much hope for this world. May the good Lord bless you abundantly!!

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Praise the Lord! And if sex is the purpose of dating - we're in for some UNHAPPY marriages....which seems to be the mindset people are going with and it's not really working out that well, I think. So glad you are here - thanks for your comment!

  • @NatureSmarter
    @NatureSmarter 5 ปีที่แล้ว +139

    I am starting to lose faith that it's actually possible to do and people around me aren't supportive either. Would you please pray for me?

    • @joda1859
      @joda1859 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Don't lose faith! You are strong and it is possible!

    • @alyssabird720
      @alyssabird720 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      You can do it! It's not always easy, but will be worth it to wait!

    • @kathleengaffney52
      @kathleengaffney52 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Set yourself up for success if you are afraid you will be tempted. Don’t go in each others rooms, and stay where people could see you at any time. It doesn’t mean you can’t kiss, but it makes it impossible to go to far

    • @jesusistheonlyway249
      @jesusistheonlyway249 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Just keep in mind how special your wedding night will be if you have saved yourself for marriage! This is a great gift to yourself and your future husband! He and you will be super glad on that day! x

    • @rosemarydriscoll2888
      @rosemarydriscoll2888 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      You are not alone in this fight! I will definitely pray for you!

  • @ruth5227
    @ruth5227 5 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    Someone told me that, “well that’s great and everything, but it’s gonna be difficult to find someone who is also doing that too.” I know that that statement is pretty true, but it would’ve been nice to be encouraged instead of doubted. Also people LOVE saying “you need to test drive a car before you buy it.” HATE THIS ARGUMENT! Emily, I love what you said in response to this: “Daniël is not a Toyota...”😂humorous but true!!!!

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Ya. Send them the video with Andrew and tell them to watch the whole thing :)

  • @rebortiz28
    @rebortiz28 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    I found when I was with my boyfriend, I wanted even more to honor both of us by saving ourselves! I am so thankful we stuck to that because even though we thought we’d be together forever, God’s plan was different and we’ve since broken up. We saved so much hurt during our break up by NOT getting too intimate with each other. Not only will I be able to meet his future wife and know that I didn’t take any of that away from their relationship, I know I can go to my future husband and know I am giving every last bit of myself to him and I didn’t let things get out of hand. I know that we’ve honored each other and our future spouses and I am so thankful that we stayed chaste throughout our relationship!

  • @HaleyMary
    @HaleyMary 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I've lived chastely my entire life , 34 years, and struggle to meet a guy I'm attracted to who is also willing to wait. I hate being called pure and innocent. It's like, no, I made this choice because I'm educated and believe in waiting because I know it is the right decision for myself.

  • @renaissancegirl87
    @renaissancegirl87 5 ปีที่แล้ว +76

    On dates I’ve had guys, even Christians, be absolutely flabbergasted that I’m still a virgin at 31. “What?! Really?! How?!”

    • @deannahiggs9277
      @deannahiggs9277 5 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      I'm 28 I've never had sex, had a boyfriend, or kissed anyone. It is so hard. I'm about to be 29. But God's got my back.

  • @pag9128
    @pag9128 5 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    Your boyfriend should love and respect you and support your desicion to wait.

  • @valerielinares2068
    @valerielinares2068 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    One of my "favorites" is, before you have a boyfriend, they say something along the lines of "well, I guess you'll die alone then because you're too picky."
    Implying that
    1) You must compromise your morals to obtain and keep a romantic relationship.
    2) Romantic relationships are the only thing in this life that matter, so you better compromise your morals to obtain one.
    So annoying!

    • @AnaLu07
      @AnaLu07 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      👏👏

  • @kathleengaffney52
    @kathleengaffney52 5 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    Amen sister! People don’t believe me or they think I’m so sheltered and afraid of sex. No! This is a choice that I made way before I had a boyfriend and he hasn’t changed my mind one bit. He makes me even more excited to save myself actually. Being in a relationship and choosing chastity has made us way stronger and more mature then we would be if we had sex. It shows strength to choose chastity, not weakness!

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Ah yes. What, are you afraid? One I heard too. Love your witness, thanks for sharing it!

  • @bellsm5350
    @bellsm5350 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Also surround yourself with like minded people. The Word says bad company corrupts good morals. Friends with the same morals will make the journey easier and check you when you going off track

  • @extra_ice_girl
    @extra_ice_girl 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    I’m 38 and my boyfriend is 36. People are shocked or don’t believe we don’t sleep together.

  • @annacrain1346
    @annacrain1346 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Craziest most disturbing someone said to me when I told them I want to wait until marriage.. “you wouldn’t buy a pair of shoes without trying them on”
    Eye roll from MN to FL!

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      LOL we're gonna have eyes rolling around all over the world. That's insane.

  • @lilacfantasy4
    @lilacfantasy4 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    One thing I've heard is "You cant control it, so just let it happen." Scuse me? It's my body! I choose what it does! I find it ironic that usually it's people who belive in a womans choice over her body that also say I have no control over what it's going to do...

  • @moyrap9532
    @moyrap9532 5 ปีที่แล้ว +64

    "How will you know if you and the person are compatible?"
    "I don't think it's healthy if you suppress yourself like that..."
    There's more, but those are the PG ones. Staying pure in college is FUN.

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Oh girl. Hehehe - I've been there! I am cheering you on amidst the naysayers and negativity!!!

  • @marybeth3382
    @marybeth3382 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I'm engaged and we dated a year and a half. On the first date I told my fiance that I am saving that for marriage and just starting that early on in our relationship and having our relationship centered around Christ drives us to keep saving it for marriage. Our relationship was not centered around "when is the next time we can make out" instead it was centered around "When was the next time I can talk to him and spend quality time with him." I've had friends be disappointed in me because we are saving it. But we are not getting discouraged and we are looking forward to our wedding next year.

  • @margiehalpern4573
    @margiehalpern4573 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Whether you've decided to wait, or decided to "re-wait" after not waiting (having learned, perhaps, that sex in the wrong context can be the loneliest, saddest experience EVER)….this is NOBODY'S BEESWAX. So assuming a person isn't actually soliciting opinions from others on this matter, I would vote for abruptly terminating all conversation on this topic.

  • @CynthiaL
    @CynthiaL 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Your message for young women is so wonderful. I have been happily married to my one and only - we weren’t even full participants in our Faiths at the time we met. There are so many logical reasons for young women to wait.

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Yes there are - so true! Hi Cynthia! So glad you are here! Thanks for commenting.

  • @turtlelover-cq2jq
    @turtlelover-cq2jq 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    People often assume that because I have made the decision to live chastely that I am somehow “innocent” or “naive”. Its so frustrating because it’s not an issue of not knowing anything about sex or being sheltered, but a genuine desire to honor God with my body. 😤

  • @nataliestitak4915
    @nataliestitak4915 5 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    Omg!!! Thank you, Emily!!! I so related to that part where you imitated people saying, "Aw, you're so cute and innocent!" I get this ALL OF THE TIME! But, knowing that I have a God who loves my innocence and knowing that (hopefully) one day I will have a man who also loves my innocence and wants to protect it, gives me EVEN MORE reason to fight the good fight and remain chaste! ❤❤🙏🙏

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes. yes. yes.

  • @marisadf13
    @marisadf13 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    THANK YOU!! 👏👏👏 So true. Those remarks can be heavily discouraging. I don't believe most people are making an effort to be negative, however in certain tones and situations, those comments can come across as harsh and pitiful. In the past, I've been remarked as too "inexperienced" and "innocent" to make a significant decision like saving sex for marriage~ not going to lie, it hurt. And I'll admit that I questioned myself afterwards. YOU'RE NOT ALONE ladies and gentlemen!! This video was posted at a great time Emily ~ thank you again. ❤️

    • @stephaniejames4209
      @stephaniejames4209 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I hear you and sometimes the comments can come from a family member.

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Marisa, love your comment :)

  • @cassandrafischer8662
    @cassandrafischer8662 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Yep, heard this in high school my senior year in high school from a 'friend'. She then told me, "I used to think the same thing. You'll change your mind." I haven't changed my mind, and I won't change it. If I don't find a man who will stand alongside me, then it's better to live my life where I respect myself and my values rather than lowering my standards so I won't be 'forever alone.'

  • @deeperfaith_
    @deeperfaith_ 5 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    How true, sometimes people laughed or said that it's impossible to find such a man. But it'd rather be single and content than together with someone and unhappy because I decided to settle and give up on my values. And I do mean it as much as I would love to be a wife and a mother one day :) It's to me even harder to live chastity when people in my family, my closest relatives, are in favour of certain decisions (like for example cohabiting) which go against chastity and I have to/want to stand up for what I believe in. It's challenging because probably they ought to be supportive :)

    • @AshleyYourLifeHisVoice
      @AshleyYourLifeHisVoice 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      preach it girl!! the right man will be one that not only honours your decisions but fights to keep your honour. Keep standing your ground, such blessings will follow you choosing God 1st.

  • @cheridanviolet8638
    @cheridanviolet8638 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I’ve heard it all! It’s crazy to me how many people in my life were negative about it instead of positive and supportive. The craziest thing someone has said to me was “I think your future husband would rather marry you with experience (in bed) rather than marry you a virgin.” That hurt. That one cut deep. The thing that hurt me most was that the friend of mine who said that to me probably believes that to be true in her own life, and that is sad.

  • @carolinaibarrolabarbara5095
    @carolinaibarrolabarbara5095 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I always heard those comments and I always answered that I knew it could get harder but I was sure I would stick to my morals even then. Now I have been with my boyfriend for two years and a half and we both choose to save ourselves and that actually have made the whole thing even more beautiful, cause we decided together and we are in the same page.

  • @addymayjones4928
    @addymayjones4928 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    It makes me sad when I see people say that our minds will change on purity. Sometimes it’s hard when you feel like “everyone’s doing it”, but I know it will be SO worth it some day!
    I’ve heard someone say: “I would never even CONSIDER marrying someone unless I had sex with them first!” My heart sunk to hear someone speak that way. Marriage is about so much more than good sex! If I found someone who I loved, respected, found to be a good man, and thought was the one God had for me, I wouldn’t even consider if he would be “great at sex”. (Whatever that even means. 🙄)

  • @eldina8989
    @eldina8989 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I've realized from simpler things that temptation really drives you crazy but once you yield you end up wishing you never did so don't yield friends fight hard with God's help

  • @TheAnnimusprime
    @TheAnnimusprime 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I am married with 2 kids, but back in high school I had a guy friend tell me he thought it was a really cool decision, but thought he should just let me know, so I wouldn't be disappointed, that I would never find a guy who would be willing to do that 😂

  • @cloelynch
    @cloelynch 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I needed this video Emily! I made this decision 2 years ago, and sometimes I wonder If that will be hard once I get a boyfriend, but to be honest, choosing to live chastity has been probably the most serious decision I've ever made. And I think when something It's REALLY REALLY serious and important to you, it makes it a little more easier. We got this girls. We can do it!!

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yes. Go girl - so very important and I am here to support you!

  • @chesieangela3517
    @chesieangela3517 5 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    PREACH IT!!! I love this! It's so hard to do this while living in such a hook up culture. This just reaffirmed me so much. Thank you for always speaking to my heart Emily!

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I am so glad Chesie :)

  • @juliasunshine4471
    @juliasunshine4471 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I was sitting with a group of girls in college and it came up and their response was “Oh....I can respect that!”

  • @mishmasho
    @mishmasho 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I struggle whenever I hear “what man is going to wait around for that?” when people find out I’m celibate until marriage. Granted, the people who say that are not from church, but I’m really starting to believe that maybe I’ll never find someone to marry because 1) nobody outside church will respect my beliefs and 2) the guys inside church don’t ask me out. Perhaps it’s just not the right time to meet that Christian guy yet but it does feel hopeless a lot of the time :(

  • @samhadley1060
    @samhadley1060 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    i think the thing that was the worst from me was when i did get a boyfriend was constantly being accused of having sex with him. one of my best friends still constantly tells me, "you really need to save yourself and stop having sex," despite the fact that I've told her a million times that we haven't and don't plan on it.

  • @cutema101
    @cutema101 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Yes girl! Tune them out because the enemy is speaking through them. You know your values, hold fast to them! Loved this video ❤️

  • @FrancescaAYoung
    @FrancescaAYoung 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    0:50 is actually the opposite of my experience although there were many people who behaved like what is described by Emily the majority were supportive if not chill and respected my decision even if they personally felt differently about the topic.
    I also actually have more people around me, both male and female, who choose to save themselves for marriage.

  • @TrissyT
    @TrissyT 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Love how you keep it real girl. You are speaking the truth.

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thanks Tristina :)

  • @missa_46
    @missa_46 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I have heard each of the ones you mentioned (several times) plus two more that stand out to me:
    "You'll never be able to keep a man if you're not giving him what he wants (aka sex)"
    "He's lying to you, there's no way he's pure. And if he is pure when you meet him, he won't be for long, your relationship/marriage is going to be filled with lies. (insinuating he will cheat)" (especially if the man happens to be very attractive in the eyes of several women).
    Thank you for your videos ❤️
    It is so nice to have your support.

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I get this ALL THE TIME too. All the time. People still say it about my husband. It's so rude, and just downright nuts.

  • @Ariel_dorsey
    @Ariel_dorsey 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    It’s amazing how sure people are about commenting on other people’s deeply personal life choices. I’ve stopped sharing about things like chastity with friends because of statements like the ones you mentioned at the beginning of the video.

  • @cheyenne126
    @cheyenne126 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    “You better be willing to do a lot of other stuff then”
    and
    “So is everything else but the actual act okay to you then?”
    I get that it’s not common and people will get curious,but whyyy do people think it’s their business to know all of the details?

  • @deeplyrooted2263
    @deeplyrooted2263 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Some one told me, “I give you until 22.” I’m like wow!

  • @nilasapphire361
    @nilasapphire361 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Same I'm 15 and I am saving myself and I do have a boyfriend but we both have the same views I thank God that I have the strength to stay chaste, love you ❤

  • @yasmine9046
    @yasmine9046 5 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    «If you're not having sex with him, than he is your friend», I've heard. Ahhh sex is not everything in a romantic relationship!
    The Kentuky thing made me laugh SO hard x) Loved this video! So much truth in 7 min. God bless you Emily

    • @ddh19454
      @ddh19454 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      I have heard that friend ome before

    • @sarahjunker6584
      @sarahjunker6584 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      I would hope the person one is dating is also a friend. 🤨 Comments like that really show how using others for our own gain or pleasure is so big in our world today 😭

    • @shannymesse4634
      @shannymesse4634 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      If people keep telling you that ... Ask them why those who have one night stand or are friends with benefits can define themselves as "not boyfriend/girlfriend". You're right sex does not define a serious relationship...

  • @markjay7714
    @markjay7714 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    So there are still a lot of you guys out there! That's so comforting to know. Keep it up ladies

  • @peytonlane2295
    @peytonlane2295 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    One time my friend and I were talking about how I needed a boyfriend. I was being very self-deprecating and talking about how I’m never gonna find a man to love me blah blah blah same old same old, but then plain as day out of her mouth, as if this was supposed to make me feel better comes, “guys don’t care what you look like as long as you give it to them.” *tire screeches* hold up , so you’re tell me that I have to fully disregard and disrespect my morals, my choices and myself just to get a guy to like me. At this point it’s so hard telling people that I have made the decision to remain chaste until I’m married because all I get is chastised, most of the time from my own family.

  • @naomimay82
    @naomimay82 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I love your videos and sometimes play them for my 17 year old daughter. I hope she chooses to save herself. So far she hasn’t dated anyone. I didn’t save myself for marriage. I was pregnant with my daughter when I married my husband. I was a victim of childhood sexual abuse so my virginity and waiting meant nothing to me. It was marriage and my husband that made me realize just how special and amazing sex was. If I could do things over, I would have saved myself for my wedding night.

  • @Cocolove205
    @Cocolove205 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    One of my best friends and my sister both asked if i was saving sex for marriage. I told them yes. They both basically said "oh well good luck when you get a boyfriend." It really frustrated me because I really do wanna save it. Thanks for this video, Emily. they're always so encouraging.

  • @meiq7021
    @meiq7021 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I've heard ALL of these! Including
    "How do you grow in intimacy?"
    "It's (sex) how you show them that they're special and that you love them."
    "What's the difference between your boyfriend and your guy friends then?"
    "If it's (sex) a special gift wouldn't you want to share that gift with people?"
    "We'll see..."
    "You live in a fairytale"
    ETC ETC ETC

  • @domi4396
    @domi4396 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    The other day a "friend" said to me when i told her i was waiting for marriage: no one is going to marry you, wake up we are in 2019

  • @3DeeQueen
    @3DeeQueen 5 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    Thank you so much Emily. A positive role model! Bless you

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 ปีที่แล้ว

      You are so welcome!

  • @baileyym5251
    @baileyym5251 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    My old best friend used to say "yeah you have these boundaries but I can tell you right now you won't be able to keep them once you get a boyfriend" and even laughed at some of the boundaries I have for myself. Needless to say we are no longer friends lol

  • @jesusistheonlyway249
    @jesusistheonlyway249 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    I usually have others either saying I won't find a guy who hasn't had sex because it isn't possible for a guy to stay pure past a certain age (implying there is something wrong with him if he does) or making excuses why they couldn't/didn't save themselves for marriage (most of my friends are married). I find this awkward as it feels like they want me to agree with them, justifying why they didn't save sex for their wedding night. I am not judging them but I am not agreeing with them! Those awkward pauses while they look at me waiting for my response are so high pressure! Any tips on how to deal with this? I don't want to judge others but I cannot tell them they did the right thing. I want to be loving to them but I love God more! I now don't talk about purity except to one friend who saved herself for marriage (and so did her husband) xx

  • @lunadiaz8132
    @lunadiaz8132 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I chose to live in chastity and the girls who heard it said that it was cute/awesome! It's not impossible when you have a boyfriend, my ex didn't want to wait and I still managed to stay my ground, he ended up leaving because of it but that just shows he wasn't the right one. I believe in you!

  • @anamariacastro5272
    @anamariacastro5272 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Awesome message, Emily!! Thx a loooot. Girls, I hope this works as an inspiration: I'm almost 30, my boyfriend and I are both virgins, have been 5 years together, and are going to marry in December!! Girlsss!!! IT IS POSSIBLE!!! Whenever there was a temptation going our way, we just reminded ourselves why we decided on waiting. It's very crucial to be on the same page with your partner, because that way you'll support each other whenever you need it! God bless y'all.

  • @alyssaimperiale9238
    @alyssaimperiale9238 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Yasss girl. So true, people act like it’s not possible to stay pure. It might be difficult, but it’s definitely not impossible to stay pure!

  • @dragsterguy21
    @dragsterguy21 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Being a guy on a big college campus, this topic rarely even comes up because it's considered weird to date before hooking up. Explaining to people that I don't watch porn or check out girls walking by always leaves people speachless and confused. It's pretty sad.

    • @faithwisdom788
      @faithwisdom788 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      How do you wind up in those circumstances where you have to explain you don't look at porn or check out girls? Other guys talking to you?

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      FaithWisdom, These conversations come up allllllll the time in college. ALL the time. I was always kind of amazed by it - people at work openly talking about this stuff, in the dorms, all over creation!

    • @dragsterguy21
      @dragsterguy21 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@faithwisdom788 guys are weird haha

  • @quinoasongs2507
    @quinoasongs2507 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    For those who've been married before, have any of you heard any specific? But I get the impression that people think that once you've been married before, and you waited then, that it doesn't count the second time. I've come to the conclusion that I would say, it was worth the wait the first time, why wouldn't it be the second time?

  • @shimmyalot
    @shimmyalot 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I've been lucky enough that the guys that I've been with respect my decision and I don't really feel the need to share my decision with anyone else at this point so I thankfully haven't run into any "haters" or whatever you want to call them. It's possible that might change when I get older though.

  • @jenniferkassir
    @jenniferkassir 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Every religious person I know has had a lot of sex before marriage which is ironic. I’m not even religious but I’m also waiting for marriage. Never even had my first kiss yet haha which is sad cuz I’m 20 but still waiting for someone I like.

  • @alphaalembe9701
    @alphaalembe9701 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I will never change my mind...it's good to know about people like you who encourage us Emily...
    Thanks a lot.

  • @violetmusic4145
    @violetmusic4145 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    i've actually gotten more positivity personally but it's usually either a neutral/positive response or straight up acting like i'm just pretending to wait in order to shame other women or something. i've been dating my boyfriend since april and it's definitely been harder because even though i've personally been tempted in the past, now we're actually BOTH tempted but it's actually gotten easier throughout our relationship because we feel more comfortable setting boundaries and we're in classes so we have something to talk about when we're together

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      The "shaming other people" by talking about my choice was so frustrating to me. So frustrating. Talking about a hard personal decision I've made does not equal SHAMING the people who have chosen otherwise. Maybe I should make a video on that.

  • @jessicadiggins2115
    @jessicadiggins2115 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    LOVE your honest, upfront, CATHOLIC approach to such tricky topics:) you’re the best!!!

  • @sin3358
    @sin3358 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    People will say this to you because they think it's old-fashioned. Well, so is forcing people to do what they don't like, and you're forcing your opinion in someone, but you don't care about that, do you?!

  • @jazminhorvath6740
    @jazminhorvath6740 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    "you are being so hypocratic. If you know you will marry your boyfriend why don't you just sleep with him then before marriage too?"
    "But don't you have hormones?"
    The worst ones I got. Thank you for the encouraging helpful video ❤️

    • @aramintawilliams5205
      @aramintawilliams5205 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Jazmin Jams you never know if you’ll marry that person until you both say I do. Not understanding why they would say that’s hypocritical.

    • @jazminhorvath6740
      @jazminhorvath6740 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@aramintawilliams5205 I know right? I can never answer that because I don't feel like I'm being hypocritical. Good to know some people share my views 😊

  • @TuNomAmi007
    @TuNomAmi007 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    worst response I got was that I was being stupid as well as selfish towards my future boyfriend... huh????????

  • @abundanceoffavor1353
    @abundanceoffavor1353 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    My friends just don't believe me that I'm abstinent; they don't.
    I'm 42. Divorced for 4 years. I have offers everyday everywhere. I daily ask Christ for chastity. I find that He has a thousand and one ways to ensure that I remain chaste according to His will.

  • @mathieublake1670
    @mathieublake1670 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    With men it is impossible but with God, all things are possible.

  • @aishanna
    @aishanna 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Gurrrlllll you inspire me so much. Thank you for your valuable time and wisdom for young girls out there.

  • @FierceQueen23
    @FierceQueen23 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I'm a person who will do/not to things out of spite, so if anyone ever tells me I'll change my mind, they'll get a taste of my stubborn streak.

  • @faithhopelove560
    @faithhopelove560 5 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    I am a Christian and I would love to hear your thoughts on remarriage after divorce. My husband of over 20 years has filed for divorce after recently being in an affair. I do not want the divorce and have encouraged him to let God work through us toward reconciliation. I know there are verses on divorce in the case of adultery, which this is, even though I wasn’t the one who had the affair or who filed. I have no interest in remarrying for a long time, I just wondered your thoughts. Thanks you and please pray for my situation as I continue to pray and stand for my marriage.

  • @ValeriaGalindo
    @ValeriaGalindo 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I totally relate to this! I´ve been told : " Oh , you are just so innocent and childish" , but I´ve made a promise to the Lord by keeping my virginity till I´m married and through His help I will stand firm! Thanks so much Emily for the encouragement! it´s so difficult to have girls of my age to relate to. Most of them including some christians are compromising on this area!

  • @erinreed8076
    @erinreed8076 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I have never been in a relationship and made the decision to live a chaste life, and I have grown to be more and more confident in who I am and what I believe in through prayer and it has been a journey. I had a friend, someone who is still in some parts of my life due to work and school, that while our group of friends(most of whom were in relationships) where hanging out, would just say randomly "Well, we just need to get you a boyfriend and you will see how much better it is," "you don't understand because you don't have a boyfriend," "you'd want to have sex if you had a boyfriend," and countless other things. It was as if her friendship with me was becoming more dependent upon me finding a boyfriend, to the point she created a dating profile for me without my knowledge. She basically got to the point where she said she only wanted to hang out if I got serious with a guy. It was the most freeing thing walking away from that toxic friendship and now I'm living in a more confident way and I pray that she one day sees the value in herself and that her worth is not dependent upon having a man by her side.

  • @sarahdavis407
    @sarahdavis407 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Wow, I wish I could respond so eloquently when faced with this challenge.

  • @JoanneGrr
    @JoanneGrr 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you so much for this. I came here out of curiosity and never expected to hear what I really need to hear: to hold a hand out to the negative things that I encounter from people, and keep on going.

  • @lindaghezzi9890
    @lindaghezzi9890 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I’ve heard people saying "what are you waiting for?" or "how’s that even possible?" Only because I’m 20 and I’m single and still waiting!!! Honestly I’m glad I have waited and I’m not going to give up on my values just because of what people think of me!
    I want to be independent and accomplish the things I want in my life, my life does NOT depend on some guy or his sexual desires, I want to affirm myself as a young woman and if someday a man with my same values comes along, he’s more than welcome but i have no intention of listening to those negative people who want to destroy the things I believe in! I’m sure God has a plan for me, and I’m not meant to have a boyfriend yet...initially I didn’t accept it, but now I know he knows better than me and I have faith the right person will find me.
    You know what my mum always says when people keep pressuring me on finding a boyfriend?? She says I have a lifetime and that I only have to be patient because settling leads to future regret!
    ❤️

  • @paulahelene2513
    @paulahelene2513 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I was just praying about this last night....thanks Emily!

  • @xocarolineox5657
    @xocarolineox5657 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Oh my gosh! Thank you Emily! The one I’ve heard is, oh you’re too innocent! Bothers me every time but this is what’s gonna help me. Thank you so much💕💕💕💕

  • @addie-eileenpaige6460
    @addie-eileenpaige6460 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I've heard things along these lines told to me. I will NEVER compromise my morals and standards. ❤❤❤❤

    • @addie-eileenpaige6460
      @addie-eileenpaige6460 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I had a friend once say that I could possibly meet someone who makes me throw away my list and forget my standards. WRONG!!!!! 🙅🏻

  • @movingmontanas5054
    @movingmontanas5054 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Amén sister! Your right, most people don’t encourage it or have negative things to say!! God bless you Sis!

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thanks girl!