ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 มิ.ย. 2024
- "How could you marry someone you've never even kissed?!" Today, I address the issue of how and why Orthodox Jews don't touch people of the opposite gender until marriage. DISCLAIMER: These are my beliefs and I am in no way trying to force them on anyone. If these are not your beliefs or this upsets you, please just click off. Be nice in the comments please I'm being vulnerable :)
MY E-BOOK: www.amazon.com/Master-Your-Mo...
MY ORIGINAL JEWISH MUSIC (WOMEN ONLY): open.spotify.com/artist/4nAtQ...
INSTAGRAM: / ayalavoice_
#religion #realtalk #dating #judaism #jewish #spirituality #spiritual #marriage #love - ภาพยนตร์และแอนิเมชัน
Such interesting perspective beauty
as you go higher you will leave the secular world entirely,
its so disgusting how low the outside world has become.
so so true- its shocking and scary
@ayalamusic_
I learned alot of Torah and write chidushim. If I send to you will you spread them to friends and family?
את מדהימה
thank youuu
@@ayalavoice_
Is there something similar about emotional intimacy and emotional promiscuity? So called friendships between men and women ?
yes they are definitely not encouraged because they are hurtful to the exclusivity of the marriage relationship
Beautiful video, thank you! I'm also Baal Teshuva, and my husband and I had some physical contact (holding hands, kissing) but still waited for marriage and it was the best decision ever. We dated for 3 months, got married after 6. Happily married for over 20 years now and still in love with the man I married. In contrast, a good friend of mine has been married 4 times, each time being intimate with her partners before marriage and not really getting to know any of them on the same deep, spiritual level. She finally tried waiting for marriage and has finally found a good man, who is committed to her and doesn't just want her for her body. 5th time is a charm.
Wow that’s so beautiful and I’m sorry that’s so hard regarding your friend
Ayala explains well the respect for oneself and others that is basic to Jewish values and life. We are challenged to guide our our animal natures, and to utilize the physical world in ways that reveal GD's holiness that seems hidden. That's why we say blessings before and after eating food, after using the bathroom, before we lie down to sleep, when we awaken, etc.
In the Orthodox Jewish world, "dating" is done with the express purpose of finding one's "other half," to marry (this is well understood by both ladies and gentlemen). Dating and marriage occur in late teens/early twenties, and families are involved in finding potential matches. Dating is done sequentially and expediently; if after (usually) 2 dates, the lady and man do not BOTH want to continue to get acquainted, they move on to other potential dates, before deep feelings are established.
A deep spiritual connection is sought, and NO ONE is compelled to marry someone they are not physically attracted to.
As for "needing prior experience," there is sweetness and joy in learning intimacy together as newlyweds. If a married couple experiences difficulty with intimacy (or any other aspect), there are trained authorities in the community whom they can consult and get advice from.
It's an exciting time for those involved in the process, and Jewish weddings are fun and joyful because the Jewish community honors and supports the new couple and the home they will build.
Note also: Those who are widowed or divorced are also encouraged to find a new mate. A man's wife is referred to as his "ezer kenegdo," which means his complement, the one who balances him and helps him grow and benefit. They are different, but equals.
wow- u just get it! Kol HaKavod
The dead arab children disagree.
Totally agree
woohoo!! thanks for saying that!!
What if you aren't happy with the way your sex life isn't compatible with your S/O after marriage? Shouldn't you at least try once before marriage?
We feel that, barring physical ailments, the emotional intimacy you have with your partner and unconditional giving you feel for them will ENHANCE physical intimacy. It's what makes it. Can't have proper physical intimacy without it. Completely different way of looking at it
I've never heard of a couple getting divorced because they can't figure out how sex works. What you're really asking is 'what if you don't like the sex compared to someone else', but if you've never had sex before, then it doesn't matter. I have only ever had sex with my husband. I have no other comparison, and frankly I don't want one. Slot A goes into Slob B. How much more 'compatibility' is there? If something's wrong, you work it out, try new things. But remember, marriage isn't about sex! If my husband and I never had sex again, I would still love and adore him and be committed to our life together.
How can you even date without physical contact ? This is just arranged marriages with extra step.
Because we're busy getting to know our future partner as a person. The physical contact can actually be a detriment to dating. A good friend of mine had 'physical contact' with all her husbands and got divorced multiple times because she fell in love with the affection and physical contact, rather than actually getting to know someone. Less distraction; you find out if you're truly compatible this way. The rest is just your hormones talking, and a good, solid marriage isn't built on hormones. Hormones fade. Love, values and respect doesn't.
@@hrgirl26 beautifully said!!
First world problems.
@axiomfiremind8431 you do realize most “first world” countries are actually some of the least religious countries in the world.
Spirituality is a good thing. Religion is not.
I’m not trying to be mean at all, but making a video on religion and expecting zero controversial comments is unreasonable.
And the mere lack of logic behind never touching someone you’re later supposed to marry is mind blowing. What if after marrying someone you realize the touching does nothing? What if bears zero emotional fruit? Do you then get a divorce, or is that looked down upon too?
No cult or religion has the right to deprive you of anything worth exploring in this reality, so long as that exploration doesn’t harm anyone or anything innocent.
I’m not saying you have to have sex with someone before marrying, but not touching them won’t establish anything beyond curiosity that ought not to be deprived. You are a free human being, not a slave to an arbitrary list of ideas.
How do you suddenly establish a more meaningful connection after, say, x amount of years of not touching?
Come on. This isn’t ancient wisdom. This is just another insidious way to control the heart and mind, which is what religion really does at the end of the day-control your heart and mind.
I say this with peace and as someone who was raised in religion and learned to deprogram themselves.
Religion is evil. It seeks to control you. Spirituality also demands self discipline, but without all the arbitrary club entry rules.
Love those points. Hard to address all of them but we don't date for years, max one year probably and that's considered a long time. Most people date only a few months before getting engaged! Freedom to me and spirituality isn't doing whatever my heart says, it's listening to an absolute truth that I feel is backed strong logical evidence, and expressing my own desires within that truth.
So....respectfully....I would say that it sounds like your viewpoint has been clouded by your own experience with religions. Judaism doesn't seek to control anyone. Everything is choice. No one is going to say you're a 'bad Jew' if you kiss your future husband or even have sex with him before marriage. There's no getting kicked out, or shunned or anything like what you're probably thinking of. I am very familiar with cults and the fear tactics they use and none of that is applicable here. No one says 'you're going to burn in hell if you do x,y,z'. We don't even believe in hell in that weird sense. Christianity and Judaism are so far apart you can't even compare the two. No fear/control tactics in other words. That being said, we are very attached to and even celebrate our traditions because it makes our lives better and there is some social pressure based on our love of continuity but that's the extent of it. Most of what we do, we do for a reason! There is great benefit in not focusing on the physical aspects until after marriage, the first being that it's less distracting and allows you to focus on them as a person, and the second being that there's less a chance your hormones will start doing your thinking for you. As for 'what if you realize touching them does nothing'..... That's actually not even possible. I mean, physiologically, sex is a biological function and there are multiple ways to stimulate arousal. You know if you're attracted to them on a first date. It doesn't take touching them to figure that out. Also emotional intimacy increases physical. Your argument doesn't make sense and is based on putting physical aspects as the most important in a marriage, when it's actually the least important.
@@hrgirl26 I appreciate your response.
Religion, cults, they’re all the same. There’s no need for them at all.
Look how much harm has been done in the name of religion. Look at how much genocide was committed in the name of religion.
I believe in a free mind and free soul.
The chief reason religion doesn’t work is because it causes conflict; when one person says their god or book is better than another persons, religion has already failed.
The concept of religion is ripe for the corrupting. And the proof is in the pudding. Almost all major religions-particularly the Abrahamic ones-are corrupt beyond repair.
Why do they have figures of authority, for instance? Isn’t god the authority? What makes these authorities closer to god than us? That in and of itself gives religion away as nothing more than a man made abomination.
I believe we need to evolve beyond limiting ways of thinking, for the sake of our children’s future and the future of this world, if for nothing else.
@@ayalavoice_ Many people do not spend the time to learn who they are dating and what their values and thought processes are. That I agree with you on wholeheartedly. The rest, well we have something of a difference on. Bright blessings on you and your family.
@@blktauna thank you so much you too
All fine yet, there will not be any intimacy in marriage after 4-7 years anyway.
Ask any married man in his 40s.
That speaks to the lack in their relationship. Why isn't there intimacy? Where is the communication? Where is the listeniing? There's a reason.
@@blktauna agred