Most dissturbing! Consider supporting me on Patreon! www.patreon.co... My rants and Politics Channel, / @thelodge8028 / archwarhammer Intro by Henrik Sigeman
4:46 *Arch:* "They're not much for regimental discipline so organizing them into blocks of archers would be like herding cats. Hungry, foul-mouthed and thieving cats." *Me:* "... So regular cats, basically."
About their thievery, I heard that in the Moot, Halflings regularly “borrow” things from their own neighbors and relatives. Apparently, anything owned by their family technically belongs to the Halfling in question as well, like taking their grandmother’s garden shovel or something.
My favourite bit of Halfling story comes from Blood Bowl. A Chaos team are running late to play the match against a Halfling team they arrive at half time to find out that they are already winning the game. Even with no opponents on the pitch the Halfling team is some how losing 2-0 to the Chaos team.
Steven Brooks or the time The Oldheim Ogres ate slaves dressed in Hornets kit for a pep boost, only to find out they ate the real Hornets. Blood Bowl lore was always my favorite. Halflings are a much better team than people give credit for (haven't played the newest edition, yet). A lot of the guesswork is taken out, as opposed to flinging a Gobbo.
Captain Thorrek, the lore was always good fun. All the short stories in the rule book were fun to read. I'm tempted to post and share a couple of the Halfling based ones in the comments 😊
Now I understand Vlad von Carstein's apparent obsesive compulsive sacking and occupation of the Moot in every single one of my Mortal Empires campaign. I used to be quite crossed as the Empire, but after this insightful video, more power to you Vlad, you're doing gods work.
I solved it! For the love of Tzeentch, I solved the mystery of the skaven! The skaven are indeed beastmen. They are beastmen mutated from halflings! This time, however, they were blessed with *more* intelligence as well as strength!
Krieg Quartermasters are veterans of many many battles of Krieg, working up from infantryman to watchmaster. Absolute badasses with precise and extensive records of every material and to Krieg a waste of the Emperor's resources is treason. No matter how determined and numerous the halflings are, they're not going to compare to the Quartermaster with a hotshot laspistol.
@Eugene Flores yeah, about that. Krieg isn't known for just staying up on the high ground. They do have a bad habit of charging off down it so they can get close enough to stab it with their bayonets. that said, they also don't just throw away their lives THAT stupidly so its 50/50.
A Krieg quartermaster? He'd probably just call 'My position, danger close, immediate effect' to the local arty company, and start bayonetting the little fuckers until the rain comes.
While I don't normally agree with or support a politician who's campaign platform is the complete and total extermination of an entire race of people, there *is* something to be said about the Elector Count's attempt of actually commiting to said platform.
I had an actual Hafling detachment for my empire Army back in 3rd edition, or maybe 2nd I cant remember. But what I do remember is that my hafling hotpot destroyed a unit of chaos warriors, and that was glorious, that day.
Sumrandum-thing say-squeak of much-much warpstone? I mean, was my idea yes-yes? Much warpstone will be mine! And full belly too? Squeakmass come early!
I would disagree. Yes, on the first second it seems like Tolkiens work is very bright and simple - good there, evil there. But there is a lot of depth and backstory to it. The hobbits for example, while they are based on english rural farmers and the like have quite a long history with its surroundings and the like. I think, Tolkien would still be great work because you could say it "earns" beeing bright .The story and world are so cohesive that it doesnt come of as "these are good, these are evil" but more "this happens, than that, all the while this and some times later that... and that is why these are good and these are evil." This is why the warhammer-halflings could be seen stereotypicly, because they lack many of the more in-depth aspects compared to Tolkien. Sure, some were probably deliberatly changed (like the halflings beeing corrupt) but others were quite vital and not really mentioned. One aspect that made the LotR variant for example considerably more "realistic" was, that there was a reason they were never just killed. People tried. Didnt work out. If the halflings would be hobbits, once attacked on their homeland, they would be almost unbeatable.
Credit where credit is due, the Halflings seem quite capable of tormenting people. Now if only we could get them to go after the Skaven or the Orcs in earnest...
"When it comes to a solution to the Halfling problem." One could say a...Final Solution eh Arch? On a serious note try Fire, it works 89.4523% of the time. Edit: They did try fire, they did not however continue to use fire.
Why didnt Stirlanders or Averlanders just funnel said goblin/ork invasions into the Moot. Greenskins would have no qualms about crumping them and once they are done said Counties could just move in to mop up the mess.
Technically that would probably take out the Halflings surely, but then that means the Orcs have an entire province to set up camp in unmolested due to the bridge still not being built yet, and letting ANY number of greenskins settle anywhere is essentially a permanent infestation. As soon as it was realized the two provinces essentially allowed the greenskins passage, they would probably lose even more of their territory to the Moots (if there’s any Hobbits left anyway), or even Karl deciding to outright denounce both counts for crimes against the Empire for such a reckless and technically petty action.
I surprised that the whole incident was not judged as an act of rebellion by the rest of the empire. Not only did the halflings hinder an army that was meant to reinforce defenses against an invasion, they also invited foreign forces into their territory. Every halfling official involved with this should have been given to the headsmen.
That's how I viewed it as well, but then I realized 'Halfling 'Emissary' ' to the Emperor. If anything he probably made up a story and made them be viewed as more innocent then they should've been.
This kinda reminds me about a game "Overlord", where halflings were sadistic fucks opressing villages and player, the evil overlord, is the one saving the villagers
So in essence Warhammer Halflings combine all the worst traits of Tolkiens Hobbits and DnD's Kender? I'm impressed, that ther are not more regions in the Empire wher you can change Halfling Ears for a few coins. Woundn't be unreasonable imo. *takes notes for his wh pnp*
Halfling and Ogres were made to benefit each other and were made at similar times. Like almost the same time. Ogres and Halflings are very, very similar. Despite the height differences. Because of this, Ogres and Halflings have similar interests and appearances. It is a reason why Gnoblars are "appreciated" and not commonly eaten by Ogres, (compared to other races). Why halfling are great cooks and ogres are a hungry race etc. I know that the Halfling/Ogre concept sounds ridiculous. I can mention other actions/relations but people probably don't care
It is stated that Halflings and ogres were the last two races created by the Old Ones in attempts to make magically-resistant races (halflings were created first of the two).Both races are unable to access the Winds of Magic. Halflings are more able to tolerate scary things (like ogres) than men can (Higher leadership) and ogres are very protective of small creatures that can appease them (like halflings) Both races are great at cobbling things together. Ogre magic items include "the Halfling Cookbook." That is all that I can remember right now.
Honestly, it seems reasonable, since they're both incredibly gluttonous races. Hell, I'm surprised the Moot didn't have a near constant population of ogre Man-eaters, just from halfling food quality.
Halfling plot armour is basically a trope. Middle Earth, when you start digging into the less narrative aspects of it, are full of Hobbits surviving the unsurvivable. DnD has Halfling luck, and if you pick up the recent 5e (one second while I puke at the thought) book Mordenkainen's Tome of Foes the Halfling section is basically an attempt to justify the DnD tradition of Halflings being unusually lucky and escaping death, at least in the context of Forgotten Realms. In Warhammer... their plot armour is more like a plot shield, things get past it far far more often than other settings. Just don't let them near an Ultramarine, a halfling might do what the Magpies could not and steal the entire chapters plot armour.
Halfings are actually quite OP in many cases; look at 3rd Edition where they had high initiative, great BS and could skirmish and cost practically nothing. Plus I love having a small detachment to help for scenario games, filling out larger armies and just for character.
Arch complaining about 30 degrees when I live in a desert in burger land makes me chuckle so hard For mu fellow burgers hes experience just under 90 degrees Fahrenheit
Two years out and several books I probably shouldn't've read, and I love Halflings, especially as undead. They make magnificent Zombies, Skeletons, and Spirits because they have all of the advantages of being Halflings without the disadvantage of them being thieving mouthy runts. Plus, they come in bulk, which makes them second only to Skaven
this would be fun as a mod for TW:W2, every so often you are "gifted" halfling units that have very high upkeep and cant be disbanded so the only option is to throw them at the mercy of whatever form of chaos afflicts the empire
"Very good with a bow" ... How? They have basically the stature and upper body strength of children and can't even pull an arrow that far back with their short arms even if they had the strength. Their small size also means that short bows would be like english long bows to them. Even Tolkien knew there was no flying fuck of a chance hobbits could use bows and instead made it clear in his lore they were terrific stone throwers and slingers.
Even more disturbing, imagen now in 40K, the Blood Ravens, they are the size of other space marines, yet how massive would they be had they not been kin of halflings? After all, they have that same gift as the halflings, one moment their hands are empty, the other they drive off with your bloody baneblade.
Combining the army books for both hobbet's and halflings could give you a decent army for Warhammer; total war. A good halfling army needs hotpot (think chilli napalm) and pie cannon artillery (ranged heal/ morale boost). Toe cutter infantry with hooked blades [slowing attack], Halfling pikes with ordered retreat. Cavalry could be ram and wardog riders, as well as foot skirmishers. Specialists; Trapper infantry with a trap attack and ordered retreat. Monster climbers high dodge and anti large with the ability to double jump around big foes collision boxes. Thieves; weapon debuff due to weapon stealing tricks. Magic should be; Strong magical resistance. Tunnels and bolt holes which Spawn them in and despawn them [short timers on both giving you hit and run melee with a spawn behind option.] Heavy support should be tree-spirits (ents) with scythes, Well armoured Ogers [halflings are better craftsman than ogres] and a well fed giant [a Halfling archer festooned giant, someone won a modelling prize with that. ] They should rout easily but also also rally easily for hit and run infantry. Ordered retreat means they fall back walking backwards faster than other units while still doing damage. I'm in the wrong job aren't I.
Yaponnk picture every single negative stereotype about a race religious group etc now imagine if they were true and that’s basically the empire with the halflings
That's because the half lings are horrible and need to be put into extreme weightloss camps. Where they would be fed a balanced weight loss diet (nothing) and be forced to exercise for free (Hard, unpaid labor). Though halflings are so fat and horrible, becoming so healthy will probably kill most of them.
To be honest, I can't exactly root for these little (your choice of **) too much. I'll grant you there aren't very many "good guys" in Warhammer or 40K alike. But this is right up there with the cyber pests that are Lulz. They're NOT that smart, NOT that subtle in their intent, and entirely self-serving in any redeeming qualities. "Give me Rats, give me Locusts, give me anything... but Halflings!" If I where that human captain, the only Halfling allowed anywhere near my camp would be the leader for instructions. Ergo, with absolutely nothing valuable within 100 feet radius of his/her path. Now to be fair here, I'm WELL aware of the value of thievery. No army wins by following any rule-book, which is why the real-life geneva convention is an absolute joke to be ignored. But these bastards clearly AREN'T thinking about who is friend or foe, nore "why" they do what they do. That's probably why I dislike them so much. "Self Serving" without a cause isn't exactly a trait I condone. So no, I don't like them.
Remove the halflings and there will be peace on Warhammer. All conflict stems from them, they are the primodial evil and chaos only wants to protect us! It just really sucks at communicating!
Press this button: The Endtimes and Age of Sigmar will no longer canon and fantasy lore will revert to pre End Times, but a Halfling becomes Emperor. What do you do? Edit: Add a twist, press this button all lore reverts, but now halflings are the dominant race in the world.
I pick the reality where the Halfling becomes Emperor. Because within the week after his coronation, somebody in the Reiksguard will stab him to death with a fork (because his weapons were stolen) and everybody in the vicinity will applause. Then we get back to the usual programme of bickering Elector Counts and Orcs kicking Chaos Warriors in the codpiece.
Would be the most powerful faction in warhammer... Halfling blessed by the lady becomes king of bretonnia, gives bretonnian citizenship to ogres, and the kingdom is forever run as huge human military with ogres guarding the city's and hobbits running the corrupt government :)
Playing as The Empire in Total War: Warhammer, I may or may not allow the Undead/Orcs/Chaos to capture and... ahem, *govern* the Moot for, oh, about 50 turns, before taking it back. Military campaigns are so expensive, you see, and all of our forces are desperately needed elsewhere for a long, long time...
"A wee bit of a rip off [of Tolkien]" Considering the early Warhammer map was literally the LOTR one turned sideways, I have no idea how you could possibly come to this conclusion!!
Gee Arch Don't hold back Tell me how you really feel It also seems that whoever came up with these little angels is not a fan of Tolkien although I get the impression that the D&D version of halflings are more civil towards humans
You are my favorite warhammer lore narrator ,I swear to god...you know how to put a spice to it look if you ever see this note I would like to see a lore video about warhammer gnomes ....I didn’t know that they existed in this world
So, Halflings are physically, a ripoff of Tolkien, with a personality stolen directly from D&D Kender? Amazing how GW has the temerity to complain when someone uses their "IPs" without permission.
Great Vid Arch! Next Warhammer Lore Videos: Deamons of Chaos Lore and Army. As well as evolution of Warhammer fantasy from its beginnings, ex. neglect of the chaos dwarves, lizardmen from Native American to Aztec/maya, how editions changed different armies... keep up the great work!
Hey Arch, ... Trazyn the Infinite vs. Bloodravens vs. Halflings in a loot-off inside the imperial palace ... how long until the last, even remotely valuable thing disappeared and in whose possesion will end up most of it?
Ive been following you and a couple off other warhammer lore nariators for a long time and this Will be my first comment ever on TH-cam. Arch... man .. I just want to tell you that your videos always fucking make my god damn day! The way you tell lore and all your humor and litle rants are just gold! Keep up the good work man, you are the best warhammer lore nariator out there !
Averland and Stirland got the last laugh though. Now the mootland is basically a buffer zone between them and Sylvania. On that note, an army of undead halflings would be hilarious!!!
4:46
*Arch:* "They're not much for regimental discipline so organizing them into blocks of archers would be like herding cats. Hungry, foul-mouthed and thieving cats."
*Me:* "... So regular cats, basically."
EXACTLY MIEN KOMRADE!!!!!!!!!
Except cats are at least loveable and cute while doing it.
@@pubcle Awh comon, Sam *Samwise Gamgee was kawaii AF.
@@darkbozo11 Sam is best Waifu
About their thievery, I heard that in the Moot, Halflings regularly “borrow” things from their own neighbors and relatives. Apparently, anything owned by their family technically belongs to the Halfling in question as well, like taking their grandmother’s garden shovel or something.
My favourite bit of Halfling story comes from Blood Bowl.
A Chaos team are running late to play the match against a Halfling team they arrive at half time to find out that they are already winning the game.
Even with no opponents on the pitch the Halfling team is some how losing 2-0 to the Chaos team.
Steven Brooks or the time The Oldheim Ogres ate slaves dressed in Hornets kit for a pep boost, only to find out they ate the real Hornets. Blood Bowl lore was always my favorite.
Halflings are a much better team than people give credit for (haven't played the newest edition, yet). A lot of the guesswork is taken out, as opposed to flinging a Gobbo.
Captain Thorrek, the lore was always good fun. All the short stories in the rule book were fun to read. I'm tempted to post and share a couple of the Halfling based ones in the comments 😊
A Halfling, a BloodRaven, and a Savlar Chem- Dog walks into a bar.
The entire bar goes missing.
The FOUNDATION itself is missing.
@@omegawilliam95s36and everything in the vicinity not nailed down, is missing
@@jankygrunt "Anything not nailed down is mine, anything I can pry loose with a crowbar or tow wench is not nailed down."
I liked the part where the halflings died.
Rewatching some old lore Arch vids and seeing this comment with exactly 88 likes just made my day, lol.
So did Arch
I’m sure the Electoral Count did, too.
Why do people insist upon misspelling hobbit?
A common WF joke.
How many Halflings does it take to kill a Blood Dragon Vampire?
About the same amount that takes to fill a Ogres belly.
Stormlord One halfling cook that cooks garlic bread
arvoid agvoid Well they at least they won't die of constipation.
Goddammit Kilian!
@@polance4705 Sorry, WF vampires need a little more than garlic to be killed.
@@robertnelson9599 you've never had the wild garlic from Lustria.
Now I understand Vlad von Carstein's apparent obsesive compulsive sacking and occupation of the Moot in every single one of my Mortal Empires campaign. I used to be quite crossed as the Empire, but after this insightful video, more power to you Vlad, you're doing gods work.
The work of all the gods.
If i stack two halflings ontop of eachother, do I have a full ling?
No you have two halflings stacked on top of each other
no
Yes
no you just have twice of your shit missing cause they can reach your shirt pockets.and high shelves.
i didn´t knew you could stack shit that high...
"M'aiq saw a halfling the other day. Horrible creatures!".
yeah. too many small bones. tasty tho
Randomicus Deliciousness marrow
"Sir, the enemy is trying to build a bridge"
Commander "Send the halflings."
I solved it!
For the love of Tzeentch, I solved the mystery of the skaven!
The skaven are indeed beastmen. They are beastmen mutated from halflings! This time, however, they were blessed with *more* intelligence as well as strength!
This… actually makes so much sense. Especially considering that 40K Halflings are called Ratlings.
@@dank_smirk2ndchannel200 ^^^
#MakeTheMootBurnAgain
Listening to Arch Warhammer is sort of funny in a cards against humanity sort of way
"I am not Racist, I love N******"
#Mootexit
Priximus225 Agreed halflings are delicious
#racism #halflivesmatter #literallyleitdorf #triggered
Innocent XV #halflingstewisbesthalfling
I would love to see a battle between one PISSED OFF Death Korps of Kreig Quartermaster V.S. 100 starving Halflings
This would cause a artillery strike to be called in on several "enemies of the imperium"
Krieg Quartermasters are veterans of many many battles of Krieg, working up from infantryman to watchmaster. Absolute badasses with precise and extensive records of every material and to Krieg a waste of the Emperor's resources is treason. No matter how determined and numerous the halflings are, they're not going to compare to the Quartermaster with a hotshot laspistol.
@@pubcle You obviously don't know how determined halflings would be for second breakfast.
@Eugene Flores yeah, about that. Krieg isn't known for just staying up on the high ground. They do have a bad habit of charging off down it so they can get close enough to stab it with their bayonets. that said, they also don't just throw away their lives THAT stupidly so its 50/50.
A Krieg quartermaster? He'd probably just call 'My position, danger close, immediate effect' to the local arty company, and start bayonetting the little fuckers until the rain comes.
Marius Leitdorf is one of the greatest Elector Counts to exist.
While I don't normally agree with or support a politician who's campaign platform is the complete and total extermination of an entire race of people, there *is* something to be said about the Elector Count's attempt of actually commiting to said platform.
He is the only human who learned of the existence of the Men-Fish.
Too true
Halflings are to humans what goblins are to orcs
gosh fricking dang it
I had an actual Hafling detachment for my empire Army back in 3rd edition, or maybe 2nd I cant remember. But what I do remember is that my hafling hotpot destroyed a unit of chaos warriors, and that was glorious, that day.
"i can be objective"
0.3 seconds later, "short good for nothing thieves, eating all the food and gabbing all things not nailed down)
But this is a totally accurate and objective assessment of a Halfling.
I suddenly don't feel so bad when the moot gets sacked and/or razed by the vampires in TW:W 1 and 2
Arch-thing may speak-squeak of paw-fur called "halflings". All I sniff-see is a free meal!
Stormvermin is here-here! Yes haflings taste great just Ask the ogre chef over there
Alright wich one of you lot left the sewers open again!? The damn Skaven r all over my kitchen again!
Half-manthing skin make good bed, squeak?
Demonslayer153 I too have seen Ratatouile. France must be purged of the skaven infestation!
Sumrandum-thing say-squeak of much-much warpstone? I mean, was my idea yes-yes? Much warpstone will be mine! And full belly too? Squeakmass come early!
The hobbits which are not meant to be heroes, but instead target practicing tools
they are great at catching arrows!
only if they can still walk afterwards XD
Ever since Tolkien, I don't think anyone but him has done them right; makes sense since Tolkien invented them.
I would disagree. Yes, on the first second it seems like Tolkiens work is very bright and simple - good there, evil there. But there is a lot of depth and backstory to it. The hobbits for example, while they are based on english rural farmers and the like have quite a long history with its surroundings and the like. I think, Tolkien would still be great work because you could say it "earns" beeing bright .The story and world are so cohesive that it doesnt come of as "these are good, these are evil" but more "this happens, than that, all the while this and some times later that... and that is why these are good and these are evil."
This is why the warhammer-halflings could be seen stereotypicly, because they lack many of the more in-depth aspects compared to Tolkien. Sure, some were probably deliberatly changed (like the halflings beeing corrupt) but others were quite vital and not really mentioned. One aspect that made the LotR variant for example considerably more "realistic" was, that there was a reason they were never just killed. People tried. Didnt work out. If the halflings would be hobbits, once attacked on their homeland, they would be almost unbeatable.
Merry and Pippin were thiefs before the War of the ring...
Halflings are the best troops for guarding supply trains as they will fight to the death to protect the food!
Grhahaha
Negative, if the little manlets guard a supply train then that shit is gonna be gone by the morning either way!
Sure they'd fight to the death to protect the food... or at least *what'd be left of the food!*
More like immediately scatter with whatever they can carry away when they are attacked
aleidius Uh, no. You starve, and they’re fed for a day. That’s what happens.
Legends say, that if you say "Age of Sigmar" three times in front of a mirror, Matt Ward appears to ruin you favorite piece of fluff.
How is he going to do that?
How could he make necron/eldar fluff even worse?
A Halfling on the battlefield is like a sparrow with a spear.
A Halfling in the kitchen is like a Hung barbarian in the sheets.
“What about second breakfast?”
The Skeptical Space Marine Fool of a Took!
The Skeptical Space Marine I don’t think he knows about Second breakfast, Pip.
What about 8th breakfast I assume that every meal of the halflings takes about an hour or so every hour is spent eating
@@matthewaugart-peponis6361 Breakfast, Second Breakfast, Brunch, Elevenses, Luncheon, Nuncheon, Tea, Second Tea, Dinner, Supper, Evening Tea, Bedsnack.
@@nycholaus but tea is gay
Credit where credit is due, the Halflings seem quite capable of tormenting people. Now if only we could get them to go after the Skaven or the Orcs in earnest...
Tell them that the orcs have a chocolate bar in their pockets.
*SKAVEN*
*DO NOT*
*EXIST*
Right, Citizen!?
They'd have the Skaven plunged into a new civil war in a heartbeat.
@@dropdead234 Of course not, but those Rat Beastmen are quite contentious
Glad to see you are woke on the Halfling question
Super Awesome Space Paladin turns out he has 12 kids and has been CRISPRing them to be God Emperor Trumps first Space Marines.
"When it comes to a solution to the Halfling problem."
One could say a...Final Solution eh Arch? On a serious note try Fire, it works 89.4523% of the time.
Edit: They did try fire, they did not however continue to use fire.
If *fire* did not solve the problem, you are *clearly* not using enough.
Have you tried Doomwheels?
@FUmarc your not saying D O O M W H E E L S ! right.
Von Carstein was right! The halflings are our misfortune.
>roller coasters of death
Halflings. Give them a sword and swing them by the ankles. If you don't cut your enemies you'll solve two problems. The halfling and your enemies.
Why didnt Stirlanders or Averlanders just funnel said goblin/ork invasions into the Moot. Greenskins would have no qualms about crumping them and once they are done said Counties could just move in to mop up the mess.
Technically that would probably take out the Halflings surely, but then that means the Orcs have an entire province to set up camp in unmolested due to the bridge still not being built yet, and letting ANY number of greenskins settle anywhere is essentially a permanent infestation. As soon as it was realized the two provinces essentially allowed the greenskins passage, they would probably lose even more of their territory to the Moots (if there’s any Hobbits left anyway), or even Karl deciding to outright denounce both counts for crimes against the Empire for such a reckless and technically petty action.
I surprised that the whole incident was not judged as an act of rebellion by the rest of the empire.
Not only did the halflings hinder an army that was meant to reinforce defenses against an invasion, they also invited foreign forces into their territory.
Every halfling official involved with this should have been given to the headsmen.
That's how I viewed it as well, but then I realized 'Halfling 'Emissary' ' to the Emperor. If anything he probably made up a story and made them be viewed as more innocent then they should've been.
This kinda reminds me about a game "Overlord", where halflings were sadistic fucks opressing villages and player, the evil overlord, is the one saving the villagers
Love that game.
Love that game.
and my god.. their king. "Fat" doesnt begin to describe that creature.
Its amazing how many times you can practically hear Arch's veins bulging in this video
What if you inject a halfling with Blood Raven geneseed?
ouh that not be good
Blood Chickens
They would be better at stealing, I mean borrowing relics.
They'd fit right in!
*Pop*
M A N L E T S
Will they ever learn?
I think you mean sub humans
@@matthewaugart-peponis6361 One might say... "untermenschlich"
Saw the title, then thought ‘oh boy’.
So in essence Warhammer Halflings combine all the worst traits of Tolkiens Hobbits and DnD's Kender? I'm impressed, that ther are not more regions in the Empire wher you can change Halfling Ears for a few coins. Woundn't be unreasonable imo. *takes notes for his wh pnp*
Kender have done nothing wrong. You just keep giving them things
We all should give Kender more things...like Axewounds to their heads.
Darkman That's nice and all until you realize that you're axe is gone and replaces with a log
Cameron Grimm a nice heavy log is more than enough to cave in the skull of one of those fucks.
very true!
When Arch describes the halflings, I have to replay the video and check the title to make sure he wasn’t describing my people. XD
Halfling and Ogres were made to benefit each other and were made at similar times. Like almost the same time. Ogres and Halflings are very, very similar. Despite the height differences. Because of this, Ogres and Halflings have similar interests and appearances. It is a reason why Gnoblars are "appreciated" and not commonly eaten by Ogres, (compared to other races). Why halfling are great cooks and ogres are a hungry race etc. I know that the Halfling/Ogre concept sounds ridiculous. I can mention other actions/relations but people probably don't care
blindlobster give another one im interested
It is stated that Halflings and ogres were the last two races created by the Old Ones in attempts to make magically-resistant races (halflings were created first of the two).Both races are unable to access the Winds of Magic. Halflings are more able to tolerate scary things (like ogres) than men can (Higher leadership) and ogres are very protective of small creatures that can appease them (like halflings) Both races are great at cobbling things together. Ogre magic items include "the Halfling Cookbook." That is all that I can remember right now.
blindlobster thank you that was very insightful
Honestly, it seems reasonable, since they're both incredibly gluttonous races. Hell, I'm surprised the Moot didn't have a near constant population of ogre Man-eaters, just from halfling food quality.
blindlobster ogres would just eat them.
...............Sooooooooooo, the Halflings have plot armor?
Halfling plot armour is basically a trope. Middle Earth, when you start digging into the less narrative aspects of it, are full of Hobbits surviving the unsurvivable. DnD has Halfling luck, and if you pick up the recent 5e (one second while I puke at the thought) book Mordenkainen's Tome of Foes the Halfling section is basically an attempt to justify the DnD tradition of Halflings being unusually lucky and escaping death, at least in the context of Forgotten Realms. In Warhammer... their plot armour is more like a plot shield, things get past it far far more often than other settings. Just don't let them near an Ultramarine, a halfling might do what the Magpies could not and steal the entire chapters plot armour.
Not if you've ever played them in blood bowl. Mf'ers die like it's going out of style!
I have never liked haflings in Warhammer, but I am gonna go outside my comfort zone and roleplay one in WFRPG 4edition. The reason I am here.^^*
So they are minigypsies
Merlin-Hans Hiiekivi
Technically not as they are settled, if they were nomadic then yes.
Strigani is the gypsies of warhammer :D
I am pretty sure the Halflings are at least cleaner.
That is really insulting to the halflings.
got me chuckling hard while playing totalwar warhammer 2 subscribed!
We need a final solution to the halfling question
Halfings are actually quite OP in many cases; look at 3rd Edition where they had high initiative, great BS and could skirmish and cost practically nothing. Plus I love having a small detachment to help for scenario games, filling out larger armies and just for character.
Arch has double hate for the halflings. That's like quadruple the hate.
Halflings are probably from the Goblinoid family. Short, duplicitous, kleptomaniacs; they check all the boxes.
Vulkan Of Nocturne but my lord. They aren't green skinned.
Arch complaining about 30 degrees when I live in a desert in burger land makes me chuckle so hard
For mu fellow burgers hes experience just under 90 degrees Fahrenheit
Spoiler: The Relictors are actually a space marine chapter of halflings
blood ravens?
Plot Twist: All thieving Space Marine chapters originate from Hafling-enhanced geneseed.
Roast-off: best trashtalking halfling in the Moot vs Wulfrik the Wanderer.
They really missed a trick not calling Averland's attack on the Mootlands: "The Hobbitcaust".
I've seen enough heresy to know where this is going
Well, I see how it is, someone's just grumpy about a Chef taking his rerolls in a blood bowl match!
'Flings for life boi!
Two years out and several books I probably shouldn't've read, and I love Halflings, especially as undead. They make magnificent Zombies, Skeletons, and Spirits because they have all of the advantages of being Halflings without the disadvantage of them being thieving mouthy runts. Plus, they come in bulk, which makes them second only to Skaven
Know the mutant, hate the mutant...
‘We are vengeance’ ‘We are fury.’ ‘We are wrath.' Victorus aut Mortis Son of the Angel of Blood.
Can see Archs's new hat "Make the Empire great again" followed with a build the wall between the mootlands t-shirt.
this would be fun as a mod for TW:W2, every so often you are "gifted" halfling units that have very high upkeep and cant be disbanded so the only option is to throw them at the mercy of whatever form of chaos afflicts the empire
Thieving hobbits! I HATES THEM FOREVER!
"Very good with a bow"
...
How?
They have basically the stature and upper body strength of children and can't even pull an arrow that far back with their short arms even if they had the strength. Their small size also means that short bows would be like english long bows to them. Even Tolkien knew there was no flying fuck of a chance hobbits could use bows and instead made it clear in his lore they were terrific stone throwers and slingers.
Even more disturbing, imagen now in 40K, the Blood Ravens, they are the size of other space marines, yet how massive would they be had they not been kin of halflings?
After all, they have that same gift as the halflings, one moment their hands are empty, the other they drive off with your bloody baneblade.
Combining the army books for both hobbet's and halflings could give you a decent army for Warhammer; total war. A good halfling army needs hotpot (think chilli napalm) and pie cannon artillery (ranged heal/ morale boost).
Toe cutter infantry with hooked blades [slowing attack], Halfling pikes with ordered retreat.
Cavalry could be ram and wardog riders, as well as foot skirmishers.
Specialists; Trapper infantry with a trap attack and ordered retreat. Monster climbers high dodge and anti large with the ability to double jump around big foes collision boxes. Thieves; weapon debuff due to weapon stealing tricks.
Magic should be; Strong magical resistance. Tunnels and bolt holes which Spawn them in and despawn them [short timers on both giving you hit and run melee with a spawn behind option.]
Heavy support should be tree-spirits (ents) with scythes, Well armoured Ogers [halflings are better craftsman than ogres] and a well fed giant [a Halfling archer festooned giant, someone won a modelling prize with that. ]
They should rout easily but also also rally easily for hit and run infantry. Ordered retreat means they fall back walking backwards faster than other units while still doing damage.
I'm in the wrong job aren't I.
I find Halfling lore MASSIVELY HILARIOUS.
i didnt think youd manage it but somehow this is even more biased and opinionated than your tau videos bravo man
Akaryusan
Wish I could watch those. The music in them is killing my ears.
You cannot not be biased against the Halflings
Why? Honest question idk shit about this guys
Yaponnk picture every single negative stereotype about a race religious group etc now imagine if they were true and that’s basically the empire with the halflings
That's because the half lings are horrible and need to be put into extreme weightloss camps. Where they would be fed a balanced weight loss diet (nothing) and be forced to exercise for free (Hard, unpaid labor). Though halflings are so fat and horrible, becoming so healthy will probably kill most of them.
Mah dreams come tru, Arch is chatting about the hobbi- I mean halflings!
"The n'y gud harflin's a dead harflin'." - Spree Peasant
HOBBITS!!! I do love their 40k counterparts, great Cooks and great marksman.
Please don't call them hobbits! Or the Tolkien estate will sue us into nonexistence!
...nope, no bias here. Carry on.
Terrible creatures, truly. Still good to have some more Fantasy lore.
To be honest, I can't exactly root for these little (your choice of **) too much. I'll grant you there aren't very many "good guys" in Warhammer or 40K alike. But this is right up there with the cyber pests that are Lulz. They're NOT that smart, NOT that subtle in their intent, and entirely self-serving in any redeeming qualities. "Give me Rats, give me Locusts, give me anything... but Halflings!" If I where that human captain, the only Halfling allowed anywhere near my camp would be the leader for instructions. Ergo, with absolutely nothing valuable within 100 feet radius of his/her path.
Now to be fair here, I'm WELL aware of the value of thievery. No army wins by following any rule-book, which is why the real-life geneva convention is an absolute joke to be ignored. But these bastards clearly AREN'T thinking about who is friend or foe, nore "why" they do what they do. That's probably why I dislike them so much. "Self Serving" without a cause isn't exactly a trait I condone. So no, I don't like them.
Remove the halflings and there will be peace on Warhammer. All conflict stems from them, they are the primodial evil and chaos only wants to protect us! It just really sucks at communicating!
Do I smell heresy?
Am I the only person that wants an epic game or movie about halfings going to war with goblins?
I simply LOVED the verbal history and POV of the Halflings you gave! Well done!
So what you're saying is that Vee is a halfing.
If only the Empire knew of the "final solution"
Oi you got a permit to build that bridge?
Seems rather fitting for this video.
They coexist because nuffle wills it.
Best comedy act on the pitch.
Bloodbowl is the final solution
This leads to the adventures call to "Throw the Hailing In " and "O Lord not another one!"
Press this button: The Endtimes and Age of Sigmar will no longer canon and fantasy lore will revert to pre End Times, but a Halfling becomes Emperor. What do you do?
Edit: Add a twist, press this button all lore reverts, but now halflings are the dominant race in the world.
Press the button.
That halfling emperor will be assasinated before the night is over.
After all emperor's are easier to replace the entire realities.
Move to Kislev.
I pick the reality where the Halfling becomes Emperor. Because within the week after his coronation, somebody in the Reiksguard will stab him to death with a fork (because his weapons were stolen) and everybody in the vicinity will applause. Then we get back to the usual programme of bickering Elector Counts and Orcs kicking Chaos Warriors in the codpiece.
Would be the most powerful faction in warhammer... Halfling blessed by the lady becomes king of bretonnia, gives bretonnian citizenship to ogres, and the kingdom is forever run as huge human military with ogres guarding the city's and hobbits running the corrupt government :)
Can you say ogre grail knights?
Playing as The Empire in Total War: Warhammer, I may or may not allow the Undead/Orcs/Chaos to capture and... ahem, *govern* the Moot for, oh, about 50 turns, before taking it back. Military campaigns are so expensive, you see, and all of our forces are desperately needed elsewhere for a long, long time...
Never trust a Halfling as far as you can throw him.
"A wee bit of a rip off [of Tolkien]" Considering the early Warhammer map was literally the LOTR one turned sideways, I have no idea how you could possibly come to this conclusion!!
Gee Arch Don't hold back Tell me how you really feel It also seems that whoever came up with these little angels is not a fan of Tolkien although I get the impression that the D&D version of halflings are more civil towards humans
You are my favorite warhammer lore narrator ,I swear to god...you know how to put a spice to it look if you ever see this note I would like to see a lore video about warhammer gnomes ....I didn’t know that they existed in this world
So, Halflings are physically, a ripoff of Tolkien, with a personality stolen directly from D&D Kender? Amazing how GW has the temerity to complain when someone uses their "IPs" without permission.
William King his statement still stands...
The easiest way to find a Guilty Nature is to watch some one do what they scream about when others do the same thing.
Insert Disney if u want a worse example
Yup...right on the head.
Not to mention Warhammer's been around longer than the Dragonlance setting Kender come from.
Arch if hobbits somehow gets into warhammer total war i will be expecting a match against all hobbits against a massive army on your channel
give me daemons, give me sadistic space elves, give me fish faced communists, give me anything but the halflings
Great Vid Arch! Next Warhammer Lore Videos: Deamons of Chaos Lore and Army. As well as evolution of Warhammer fantasy from its beginnings, ex. neglect of the chaos dwarves, lizardmen from Native American to Aztec/maya, how editions changed different armies... keep up the great work!
Hey Arch, ... Trazyn the Infinite vs. Bloodravens vs. Halflings in a loot-off inside the imperial palace ... how long until the last, even remotely valuable thing disappeared and in whose possesion will end up most of it?
Trazdyn. He does real life Pokémon with his skills, giving him the ability to “requisition” new things that are living.
And they survive the End Time, I don’t know how I know this but there are some in the age of Sigma awaiting for FW to release their models.
So wait, they became gods? Everyone else who survived seemed to.
You know what'd be a good Total War Warhammer campaign? Burning all the halflings.
PESKY HOBBITSES
Fear them.
For if they could they would devour the world.
Woodelves about the Halflings.
Warhammer Roleplay.
I feel like playing Total War: Warhammer and continue raiding Mootland to god knows when ._.
Ive been following you and a couple off other warhammer lore nariators for a long time and this Will be my first comment ever on TH-cam.
Arch... man .. I just want to tell you that your videos always fucking make my god damn day! The way you tell lore and all your humor and litle rants are just gold!
Keep up the good work man, you are the best warhammer lore nariator out there !
Drink every time Arch says "annoyed" or "annoying" during this video
"Halfling Halberdiers would Hardly Help anyone …"
Averland and Stirland got the last laugh though. Now the mootland is basically a buffer zone between them and Sylvania. On that note, an army of undead halflings would be hilarious!!!
One might say we need a final solution to the halfling question?
I keep rewatching this when I need to be cheered up
I wish I could give it 10 upticks - utterly enjoyable video, well done sir.
Halflings, the turds of Warhammer, making Goblins and Skaven seem like generous races.