Guzzling Hot Gold! - Rome & The Third Century Crisis - Extra History
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ก.พ. 2025
- Guzzling Hot Gold! A punishment given to the captured Roman Emporer Valerian who faced off against the Persian King Shapur I but... is that what really happened?
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Did you know that Valarian was technically a Pharoah?
No.
My name is Valerian
Nah thanks Im good on that, I already have unbiased history of rome
"his punishment being: using his troops to improve public works"
we need more punishments like that
Kinda sounds like his men were made to take the punishment for him, though.
@@kayeka4123 Reforming armies into public workers doesn't sound that bad tbh. A lot more *constructive* , if you catch my drift.
Community Service benefiting the general public since approximately 300CE
Based Shapur
@@kayeka4123 I feel like they'd prefer cleaning up some street over dying in a war they didn't choose.
Bro literally wrote fanfiction
Lactantius is renown for being full on BS
That’s also like most Roman history works tbh
More like haterfiction
calling that fanfiction is wild, but not wrong, per se
I dunno. A lot of different stuff was red Herrings back then. But Jesus is most certainly real.
If you visit the extant ruins of Bishapur in today's Iran, you'll stumble upon a large mansion with domes and vestiges of mosaic works, known as Valerian's Palace. It is said that this was his residence before he died in captivity.
Your a fellow perion or a man of research
Ruins
@lifeonthelake4367 we are not talking about European history
Yeah, i would guess he lived quite comfortable. I dont know if its the right time period, but some ancient Persian rulers really stressed about morality in a way f.ex the romans didnt. Even getting rid of the death penalty.
Do you mean nishapur?
"Well Valerian was forced to drink hot gold, or skinned alive depending on how the tale's told"
Most likely he just livid a relatively normal life, but that's not exciting for pop-history
Why not both?
“Your troops are banished to community service. You’re still responsible for them, as well as the cleanliness and maintenance of the city. Supper is at dusk, don’t be late or the cooks will think you hate their food.”
Fair enough
As a persian
After shapor captured them , he forced the valerian and his troops to serve their lives on building the public buildings or doing the services such as cleaning the city's after the celebrations
There is actually a bridge in khosistan in iran which have been built by these troops
*cities
“City’s” is possessive.
And many other grammatical error.
You guys realize English is not a first language for the majority of the world?
@@senseishu937
Hey, I corrected, rather than just saying he was wrong.
@@PokeMageTech nah you good I'm mainly talking about the other dude lol
True or not, his name being Valerian makes me think Viserys's death was a reference
Yes my first thought. Wouldn't be surprised. He referenced a lot of real historic events and people.
@@SaunterVaguelyDown the whole book series was inspired by the war of the roses in England
@@mr.smiley1652 Amongst others but yes that was the biggest inspiration by far.
Viserys's death was more of a shout-out to Genghis Khan's campaign to exterminate the Kwarizmid Empire. What started the conflict was when a Kwarzmid governor arrested a Mongolian trade caravan, sized their treasures (including a sizeable amount of silver) , and killed everyone.
When the Khan later got ahold of him, he had the governor tied up and given all the silver he could stomach, in the form of molten silver poured down his throat.
I say it makes more sense since the Dothraki are stand-ins for the Mongols.
I learned something new! Thank you fellow commenters!
Also obviously related to the story of how Crassus died, also in a molten-gold-related execution after being captured on a campaign in the Middle East
It definitely makes more sense for someone like Crassus who was so notoriously greedy that he would literally watch Rome burn if he could make a buck.
I'm not really even kidding. He ran a private fire service where he'd buy burning houses for a fraction of the cost then have his fire service put it out.
If the person didn't pay he'd let it burn.
Yet another fantasy
He was killed during the battle
These romans think I’m minted
But they ain’t rich lie me
@jmurray1110 Nah, Crassus was definitely captured. And he wasn’t alive when Augustus got the Parthians to send back the captured Eagles and POWs.
Ah so that’s where George R R Martin got that idea.
Looking more into the true history of what may have transpired, questioning where this information came from and theorizing what true history may be rather than the documentation of a biased party. Love these videos keep it up!
Yeah, author bias is one of the major problems when dealing with first hand accounts and why history is often so subjective. Do you believe person A who said one thing or person B who said the opposite?
A lot of ancient history is biased gossip, one has only look in whose service the historian was and detect the bias. most famous is Suetonius who wrote just to succup to the current emperor Hadrian write writting how awful his predecessors were.
"his punishment being: using his troops to improve public works"
That honestly sounds more like the Persians.
Time for your shot of gold
Dunno man, the Persians were also the guys that invented the Boat execution method...
@@giacomoromano8842
Hey everyone has their "invent a weird torture method" phase don't judge them because they gota little silly one time
@@giacomoromano8842 it was invented by Babylonians same as Crucifixion
@@artsyscrub3226britan with rats
There is also a very similar story about Marcus Livius Crassus (very rich and greedy Roman), who supposedly was forced by the parthians to drink gold.
I think I've also heard a story about someone being poured over with molten iron after losing a war for the iron crown of Lombardy.
I also heard the Inca did the same to captured conquistadors to terrify the rest out of their greed fueled slaughter.
I believe one telling I heard was Crassus was decapitated before the gold was put into his mouth.
This came out, coincidentally, just as I was listening to the episode immediately after Valerian’s death in The History of Rome podcast. I never even knew Extra History had a series on it, so I’ll check it out now!
Imagine doing 500 hours of community service because your boss got defeated in battle
Emperor Valerian is also known for being the one who ordered the death of Saint Lawrence, who was executed on a spit. Whilst on the spit, he said to his executors, "Turn me over! I'm done on this side!" This act of stoicism and humor in the face of death made him the patron saint of Chefs, Comedians and Firefighters.
learning about a cool scary way someone was executed and finding out it was christian murderporn is like the history version of finding a deep philosophical quote and finding out it came from a MLP yaoi pinky pie x rainbow run fanfic
That sounds oddly specific, have you personally had that happen before?
How common is that second part because that first part seems to be a good chunk of history lol
@@mrziiz6893 surprisingly common
What
Talk about having expensive tastes.
Bruh
This joke is gold
Ah, but you see, Valerian *was* made to imbibe hot gold!
Which was a popular cocktail in Iran at the time, only concocted by the most skilled and experienced of Imperial mixologist, said to induce a "little death" upon the imbiber for how wonderful it was!
Unfortunately, the recipe has been lost to time, as it was a jealously-guarded secret that only the Emperor could bestow.
“A crown for a king”
BASED
...
And then came emperor Valerian.
Captured by the Sassanids!
Well Valerian was forced to drink hot gold,
Or skinned alived dependign how the tale's told.
...
His son ruled for fifteen years then got trolled.
It's conspiracy murder again!
Indeed persia is rome greatest nightmare
It’s just a prank bro!
The prank:
I love this story, the first time I heard it was actually it a work of historical fiction called the lost legion(I think that's the name of it its been a long time sense I read it)
The Lost Legion takes place earlier in history when Crassus invades the Parthian empire. He also was said to have had molten gold poured down his throat.
Nothing like a fresh cuppa gold, yurmi
I remember my dad listening to an audio book related to this time in history..
"forced to swallow molten gold" vs "sentenced to community service"
I heard a conspiracy theory a while back that emperor Valerian actually wanted to be captured by the Persians. While I myself don't believe it, I do believe that it could be plausible, You got to think emperor Valerian was just one of a long line of emperors who had been assassinated and I'm sure when he became emperor he didn't really like that aspect of possibly being killed. So the theory states is that he made a deal with Shapur to essentially be " kidnapped" and kill, but in all actuality he lived in Persia and left his best life until his actual death of natural causes. Again, I don't believe this and I don't even remember where I read it because it was years ago but it has some semblance of creedency!
I legitimately thought he was going to say this was a tale written by George R. R. Martin 😭
“And a pretty snappy musical number” you had my curiosity but now you have my attention
Yeah kind of similar to Marcus lesineus Crassus he was the cash of the first triumvirate but was apparently captured by the Parthian and has a similar story
Since he was rich later writers decided an ironic punishment would be drinking gold (this was a real punishment although it’s a bit sparse for legitimately with the only real example being during a Spanish slave revolt when the outposts head was forced to drink it (and by drunk poured down the throat so it burned the flesh and blocked the airway) since he was extracting so much value from them)
In reality he just died in battle
you guys should do a video on the battle of midway, or the battle of leyte gulf, or iwo jima, Guadalcanal, Okinawa
I'm pretty sure they already did Iwo Jima.
@@firstoffproductions1462 They did Saipan not Iwo
I really wish the molten gold story was real because that's just so badass
No one really knows most history is like that
How about the Roman proconsul Crassus? He was famously said to have been taxidermized by gold too.
Conquistadors claimed that the Aztecs would execute captured Europeans this way, by pouring molten gold down their throats. Again, I'm not entirely convinced of this since that would mean wasting gold that they used in many of their sacred religious objects and also wasting captives that could be sacrificed in their even more important religious rights.
I remember that Crassus too had drunk that "rich" cocktail. maybe he wanted it with a lemon peel.😄
But the difference is Crassus did it post decapitation
I think the Inca did so to captured conquistadors too as an ironic punishment since gold was what they were slaughtering the Inca for.
Will you do a series about the founding of the Roman empire
The captured Roman emperor lived in his palace in Persia
Anyone also saw how he arched his back while standing on all fours? °-°
The more history facts below were intriguing… but the snappy musical number is what really drew me in. /j
Oh oh do Crassus next.
But with your help we can do this to many modern day oligarchs...
Making them drink gold or making them do public service work? It's a win either way
@@GanyuSimpingDegenerate at this point pubic service work is off the table I'm afraid... :/
I love the idea of having a golden gi track statue bc after his altopsy
I'm glad that's most likely an untrue story
Bro it doesn't even matter if dude did or didn't get murdered by molten gold that just sounds like a brutal as hell way to go out
And then came Emperor Valerian
Captured by the Sassanids
I was given a long timeline of biblical history originally made in the 1800s for my 15th birthday (the same one that is allegedly in the Congress building). It says that Sapor (yes, it is spelled like that on the timeline) actually FLAYED Valerian. Interesting takes all around, guess we'll never know the truth
The praetorians being used to clean up stuff: so you know we are going to kill you right?
Valerian: yea…
The song goes crazy
I'm seeing at least one game of thrones connection 😂
I think the last one is more likley what really happend, he lived in luxury whilst the troops got to do some guard work and cleaning around the city 😂
Well it's also likely that he wrote that to relate Valerian to Crassus, who was known for being miserly, and commanding his troops quite poorly. That was allegedly how the Parthians executed him.
Damn the real story is honestly super wholesome !
Its even better than the fake one...
Wait a minute...
IS THIS THE BIRTH OF GRIMDERP
Bro was going down on spongebob
“My source is that I made it the f*** up” - that author (probably)
I heard his punishment was being flayed alive and his body hung over the gate for public display.
Strange there are no Persian sources for this? Was this one of the histories/records that the Mongols thru in a river?
Iranian here & Thats WILD!!
I thought Crassus also had molten gold poured but on his head by the Parthians?
Weirdly enough, the sermon by a priest I listened to alluded Emperor Valerian to Jesus as a suffering king.
Projecting much.
I don't think it's physically possible to drink molten gold. It's just simply too dense and not viscous enough.
Ever tried drinking syrup? Well, gold would be about 13 times harder to drink, not to mention the high temperature.
Molten gold could be forced down one'a throat, but that would require careful positioning of the throat and limited moment from the gold recipient. Things like swallowing aren't possible with gold.
Super hot metal is very fluid as well as actual maple syrup tho
@@def3ndr887 Where do you think I got the 13 from? I calculated the viscosity of molten gold.
@@Tommuli_Haudankaivaja no offense but I take your calculations with a grain of salt, and the example was weird since real maple syrup can be drunk with ease so why not molten gold if it’s similar to syrup? Granted it’ll still burn through everything in your body.
Thats like both cartoonishly and insanely evil to do
Well as a persian we had our ways of toture but we wherent cruel and in our books he was hiumilaiated but the gold drink is fake he died in captivity
the last tale is true, the troops were used as skilled workers who built bridges and what not and later on settled in iran, there decendents live to this day in the Zarin koob village and they speak latin to this day
He got the Crassus treatment ):
Kinda mad that you didn't bother to explain that in the main episode actually. Oh well, I figure stuff like that probably happened before to someone else I guess...
Crassus when he was captured by the predecessors of the Sassanids, the Parthians ^^
At least, it's the popular version... but even the roman historians say that it's doubtful ^^'
‘Guzzling hot gold’ means something different on Grindr
considering what we know of the parthians from when Crassus invaded and lost his head. I think its safe to say that Valarian probably didnt fair too well under the persians
Went from a 24k gold prime bottle to community service lm@o
This is also quite similar to the fate of Marcus Linicius Crassus, the third triumvir of the first triumvirate. He also tried to take on the Persians (called the parthian empire this time) and lost horribly.
Supposedly, Parthians poured molten gold as a form of karmic punishment for his endless lust of wealth: he was known in Rome and abroad for his ruthless pursue of riches. Other accounts say that he was beheaded and his head was used as a trophy for Parthians to arrage their own version of roman triumph.
Whatever his grissly fate was, one thing is clear: he never returned from his Parthian campaign and the first triumvirate unraveled, changing the fate of many forever.
Third option: Valerian was into the humiliation
A glass of gold fit for a king
Well Manius Aquillius was forced to drink molten gold after he lost a battle.
the thing about the image of "pouring molten gold/lead down someones throat" is that most people have the wrong image in mind.
the melting point of gold is at ~1070 C and for lead at ~330 C (although it's likely to be hotter than that when molten)
hence if you wish to brave imagining this act, look up the Leidenfrost effect...
That droplets of water are slightly suspended over a hot surface? I still don't get what you mean ...
Airship Pirates fans; if you know, you know
The "punishment" was probably do some bromance
There was also a rumour believed by many romans that once valerian died the sasoneds had him stuffed and put on display in the emperor’s throne room
Got the Crassus treatment
Didn't Ghengis Khan pour molten gold down someone's throat?
pouring molten silver in people's ears was a big favorite of ol' Ghengis
remember history is more fluid than you think
I read that Valerian was flayed alive by Shapur I.
well, they also say that Valerian was used as a stepping stool filleted alive
Yeah aside from that treating even a captive royal like that was the height of dishonour and he would be risking the wrath of the ancient world if he treated a captive fellow king like that.
Also molten gold unless extremely hot (which they wouldn’t of had the technology to achieve) has the consistency of honey you can’t just drink it.
I don’t know all there is to know about ancient history but if I had to guess homie lived in relative comfort while his troops worked.
You gotta love how the punishment is considered both “a righteous consequence for oppressing Christians” but also “a cruel punishment only the evil Persians could come up with”
It’s a good story
Not a gold crown, but it'll do
He wasn't forced to drink gold, he poured gold into he's head.
I know my history, I have watched GoT....
You should talk about the cat that survived like 3 ships sinking [Unsinkable Sam]
Awesome
He died eating hot cheese or butter
I've heard the same story with Crassus
In history death by drinking liquid gold is attributed many separate times. It’s probably just poetic license in describing the killing a greedy man.
I think the last "punishment" aligns more with Persian history. Not like "oh this is my head cannon of Persia " but more of this seems something they'd actually do rather than humiliate and gold plate someone's insides
At least he was golden on the inside
I mean, it's not an unusual execution back then !
I mean kinda since usually they wouldn't waste gold like that
Spanish conquistador Pedro de Valdivia did die by drinking molten gold in hands of the Mapuche in Chile. Fitting as he came to the Americas in search of gold and riches
Wouldnt be surprised if Valerian lived comfortably in Persia. When you have money it doesnt really matter where you go
sounds like a Dante's Inferno punishment for those in Greed
I thought that was Crassus when he went to war with the Parthians
I heard of this. It terrified me especially because I watched happen in a documentary.