So much has changed...
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ก.พ. 2025
- This has been weighing on my heart to share because it's something I've fought against for... years. I didn't want to accept that this was something I needed help with because I could "do it all" by myself. I've done it all by myself for YEARS! But since becoming a mom... it's just quite literally no longer possible. I've been struggling to the point where it's severely impacting my day to day productivity and life.
This last year especially I've been really trying to be honest with myself and figure out why I've been struggling. And I know what many may think.. "ya right - you hardly struggle" and maybe it seems that way from the outside? This video is the first time I'm talking about this and I'm excited to open up about it (honestly feels like a weight lifted off my shoulders) and at the end of the day, I hope it helps even just one person.
Looking forward to hearing from you in the comments, it's been a while. ❤️
xo Anna Victoria
I always appreciate your vulnerability and honesty ❤ And GIRL the 1-2 transition kicked my butt!
Firstly, your vulnerability in sharing this is what makes you wonderful. Thank you for being so candid and authentic. As a fellow diagnosed ADHDer and former overachiever, I understand how easy it is to compare yourself from a previous time in your life. I think what's been most helpful for me is contextualizing the changes in my life and realizing that I wasn't 'thriving' doing all of the things I was, I was being unreasonably demanding of myself until I hit a breaking point. Grace, compassion, and kindness to yourself is the best gift you can give. You're doing all the right things and you'll be all the better for it!
I love your personality, thats why I started following you a few years back .Just know that your true followers love you no matter what situatiion you're going through all fhe best wishes for you and your family 😊
Thank you for sharing as one mom of 2 to another 🫶🏻 It really is such an overwhelming change to 2. I also hesitated going on meds and I’m thankful that I haven’t had any negative side effects and it’s been really helpful. I’m praying for you and for all of us moms trying to figure it all out!
So glad you shared this! I've been following you since FBG days and am not a mom, but I learn so much about mom life and the balancing act that helps me out with my mom friends. You being you has made me follow you for so long, in addition to the great fitness content.
I appreciate you so much for opening up and being transparent! My husband was diagnosed/medicated late in adulthood and it was such a game changer! Wishing you nothing but the best as you navigate your journey and what’s best for you and your family!
I absolutely love you for this!!! Thank you for being so honest. I am in the same boat! I am in the beginnings of trying to get evaluated/diagnosed or something figured out. I hate not being able to keep up, and it feels like it should be attainable. For the sake of my family, my kids, and to be a better mom, I want to get this figured out. I appreciate you so much for this. You don't even know. ❤
Anna, thank- you for sharing! Give yourself grace! You’re human and this is just the stage you are in. You have to pour life into yourself so you can pour life into others! You have helped so many people over the years! There will always be haters but you are incredible!
Omg I feel this so much. I was undiagnosed until I was 28 (I’m 31) and it’s insane how much you learn is actually a symptom/byproduct of ADHD! And the adhd paralysis and executive functioning issues are so real. Getting so overwhelmed you just shut down. I can’t imagine throwing parenting into the mix
I was diagnosed with ADHD recently too and definitely relate to everything you are saying. As far as medicine goes, it really did help me SO much. But I’m on the smallest dose possible and only take extra on particularly bad days. I think some doctors tend to give too high a milligram and people can have terrible side effects. Obviously everyone is different though! I hope you find what works best for you and your needs ❤
I can completely relate. My son was diagnosed with autism and adhd at age 3. Turns out I’m AuDHD too! Once I hit my 30s, being a single mom…I just couldn’t handle masking anymore. And it became obvious that my brain is just different than others. Welcome to the Neurodivergent community!!! Feelings can be overwhelming. I feel validated because my whole life I struggled what others think is “normal”. But I also feel grief and anger for how I was treated, and the endless put downs from people including friends and family. Give yourself grace to feel it all. And thank you so much for opening up about this! THIS right here helps other people like me SO MUCH!!! Sending love and good vibes your way 💞
Love you friend! I can relate to this SO much!! I’ve struggled with this for sure and know the weight of it all. You’re amazing and just know you have an incredible support system here for you 🤍
Thank you for sharing your story! Our experiences are extremely similar. I'm so glad you're working through it. I was also so nervous about medication for similar reasons as you it seems, but after trying a couple different ones, I will tell you, medication along with continued therapy has helped me to be a better mom wife friend professional and person. I stand up for myself more while maintaining professionalism. I'm able to shift my hyper focus to what matters most way more often. I'm so glad you're figuring it out, it all takes time but thank you for being honest and vulnerable ❤
Super relatable! You’ll love being on meds lol they help so much. Not all of the symptoms will go away..I still flutter around doing 8 tasks at once but I usually manage to finish them and feel accomplished instead of getting so distracted that there are loose ends and then beating myself up. It’s easier to break the day out in “chunks” and have mommy life, home life, social life, and work life. Mostly it will just be exciting to be invigorated and inspired by your brain again, instead of considering it your enemy. Can’t wait to see what you accomplish this year and beyond :) rooting for you!!!
Anna thank you so much for sharing your ADHD diagnosis! I was diagnosed a couple years ago at 25 and it’s been hard to get people to understand that ADHD IS REAL! You’re doing so great 👏
Anna, thank you so much for sharing and for bringing awareness & attention to ADHD. You're amazing just the way you are, and you don't owe anyone any explanations ❤
Sending you so much love for this video! Becoming a mom is such an amazing life experience but also it completely changes you. I totally get how these symptoms would start manifesting after you have babies.
Anna, I'm a loooong time follower -- since 2015! And I'm SO glad you shared this-- so many women I know, including myself, struggle with this. And I know for me the shame is compounded by watching successful entrepreneurs online. I'm not a mom but I've struggled so much with ADHD, and it's only recently that I've come to terms with it. It would be amazing to hear you share more about other aspects of your life, including this (if you're comfortable of course!)
I relate so much! For me it wasn’t becoming a mother, it was starting my PhD. I still find myself stigmatizing it and I really appreciated you speaking out about it.
Holy shizzzz Anna is this why I have always gravitated to you!!!???? I recently was told by my therapist to get evaluated for this!!! 😭 I resonate with SO much of this!!!
This is making me question my own chaos-loving tendencies. Thanks for sharing!
I was diagnosed with ADHD right before I got pregnant with my 1st. I stopped pumping May 2024 and started ADHD medicine at a very low dose and I saw huge improvements. Then I got pregnant with baby #2 in November 2024 so can no longer take the meds and it's been a real struggle. I was definitely unsure about taking meds at first, but when I saw the difference it made, I knew it was the right decision. I look forward to being back on it eventually! I'm proud of you for taking the steps to get your diagnosis, I felt like that was the hardest step for me. Take your time finding the right medication for you and really focus on the differences you feel from taking whatever you're prescribed. ❤
Every single person is different and has their own struggles, I feel for you that you were so nervous to put this out there because people would judge. And that is justified, there are many who lack empathy or are out to hurt others but your journey is your own. But based off the comments here it seems to be a very common thing and I'm sure those that can relate are pleased to see you share. I wish you the best of luck on next steps whatever that looks like, you have people in your corner cheering you on! 💞
I feel like you just told my story. After my 2nd child my brain just froze, my whole world crumbled, ended up with PPD caused by a mix of hormones (obviouslyyyyyy) and the undiagnosed adhd. My head was completely overloaded, I was overwhelmed and completely paralyzed and unable to process all the noise in my head and felt like a complete failure. After getting tested and having my formal diagnosis it explained so so much. I was also an overachiever and even now with the formal diagnosis, lots of my family members don’t really believe it as i was so good at masking. Thank you for sharing.
I can feel you were nervous during your TH-cam video. Thank you for sharing this with us! I am not a mom, but I have always liked any content you post. Even though I started following you years ago for the fitness content, we follow you for who you are, whether is fitness, family, holiday contents, etc. Don't let criticism from random people bring you down because for many of us you are such an inspiration ✨️ Only you know what is best for your health! You are a strong, hard working woman and you deserve only good things for you and your family! Aurora and Jett have a super mom! Sending hugs and love❤️😊 Whatever you choose regarding your diagnosis, we are here to give you support! 🙌
I recently learned the term “matrescence” and it’s so interesting to look into! It’s basically the total transformation you go through after becoming a mother. I was on a music making journey before having kids and now I’m like…..what is creativity??? 🤣 hoping I can lean into it again eventually but right now I’m 100% leaning into motherhood because I feel like it takes up 99.99999% of my brain capacity
“I’ve always been a non traditional overachiever”. I felt that very loudly Anna. Sending you love and light while you navigate this. 💗
Hey mama, you’re not alone! I was diagnosed ADHD in first grade I’m now 33. Had no problems managing life and school. Then I became a mom of two amazing girls, now 6 and 4, and I felt the same. Like everything was crumbling, especially my emotions. I work for my husband, I’m a stay at home Mom, and a full-time student. I was so stressed and overwhelmed that I was alway angry with my husband or yelling at my kids for being kids. I got help and now I am on a very low does of medication and I feel like a whole new person. Please just know you’re not alone.
Hi Anna! Me too! I was also just diagnosed with ADHD after struggling for YEARS! I also was not super accepting of taking meds until this past November. I didn't want a stimulant that was addicting so my Dr. prescribed Guanfacine/ Intuniv and it has been a life changer!!!!! I can come off of it if I ever chose to under the care of my Dr which was an option that was important to me in case I one day decided I no longer wanted it. It's not addictive and I've had no side effects with it so far. I take 2mg and that's enough the right dosage for me. You start at 1mg and can go up to 4mg depending on your executive function need. 2mg has been the sweet spot for me. It allows my brain to jump over the anxiety paralysis that comes with ADHD and for me also helped so much with the anxiety I was also experiencing because of the ADHD. It also felt like it lifted this curtain of brain fog I had been experiencing. It didn't feel like the second I woke up I was running through mud. Lol I hope that helps you as you explore your options and make a decision! Feel free to ask any follow up questions! I had so many when I was first diagnosed lol Wishing you the best!!
Thanks for sharing. Currently going through the same journey. ❤
This is LITERALLY me. And I am not even a mother yet. I am an Occupational therapist and all we talk about is executive dysfunction...and I am here living it as well! I have always been hardworking, independent, perfectionist, etc. As I have gotten older and my career as an OT has been blowing up this year (I was 28 when all this started...I am now 29) I have noticed this dysfunction more. I want to hear all you have to say!
Would love to hear more mental health stuff and feel it would be a cool shift on your channel!
I was diagnosed while early postpartum with my second and it makes my life make soooo much sense lol my husband is autistic, and our first son has was diagnosed autistic in June 24. I feel this so hard
Also not sure if anyone else can relate to this but I used to hate “to do” lists because just looking at them overwhelmed me. Now I really rely on them. The list is still never-ending lol, but I am able to stay on task better. I find myself checking off so many boxes each week and feeling like my life is somewhat together :)
I meant with meds I can manage my to-do’s much better 🤓
Fellow late diagnosed ADHD mom here! The executive dysfunction is SO hard to deal with while having 2 small kids to take care of. I’m taking a non-stimulant that’s helping me take the edge off so far, maybe if you’re concerned about stimulants, you can look into those options! I look forward to hearing more about how you manage your adhd!
I was going to mention this in my comment but I forgot. Yes! I've heard people have positive results on no stimulants as well. Something to consider for sure
Women tend to get diagnosed later in life due to being high functioning with their ADHD.
There's a post in Reddit where a female doctor spoke about the moment that came when she finally got diagnosed, and how her prior behaviours started making so much sense.
Thank you for sharing. I can absolutely relate to your story. I have no children but the things you describe resonate, including the constant back and forth of trying to not be hard on yourself but also having self criticism/perfectionism.
When I was younger I'd remember how I'd always worry about what 'people' would say or think, imagining in my head of what they'd say or think. Until one time I remember stopping to task myself 'what people?', who are the people? This was pre social media, because I realize now that 'the people's are online voices, faceless and unaccountable but opinionated on your life as a public figure. But they are just as flawed, just as insecure, just as limited as the criticism they spout. NO ONE has all their shit together. Growing older and realizing the humanity of celebrities I admired, the limitations and shortcomings, their vulnerability...it has made me realize nothing we idealise is ever real. It's never truth. Nothing we compare ourselves to is real. It's not our truth. It's perception that never has the whole picture.
So in the moments of despair and criticism, choose truth. Learn to embrace the slow steps.
Thank you for sharing. It's helped me immensely to realize the mental criticism is not just me, I don't need to internalize it as a personal flaw anymore.
Hello, I'm Cooper Hamlyn I'm 20 yrs old and I have Autisum and cerable plausy, pleased to meet you I'm from Quilpie Queensland Australia
Hi Anna Victoria! If it is something that you feel comfortable talking about, I would love to hear how you manage ADHD and consistency with your fitness routine. This is something I struggle with so much. Thank you for sharing ❤
a youtube video?? so happy to see you back 😊
Hiiii!! Appreciate you!! 🥹
To your point about people being critical of you weening just the be able to take medication - just so you know, if it WAS the only reason for you to ween, that’s ok. In order for the kids to be ok, mom needs to be ok. We need to stop thinking that a mother taking care of her basic needs is somehow selfish or makes her a bad mom. It does not. It makes you a good mother because you are modeling self-care and mental health for your children.
Also ADHD mom over here and my experience was basically exactly the same as yours. You’ve got this, you’re the best mother for your children, and you are making choices that are best for YOUR family in this moment. And yes, you are part of your family so you deserve to be happy and healthy just like everyone else ❤
I was diagnosed in 3rd grade and took Adderall until freshman year of college. I’m weary of meds and the possible long term side effects, but I’m sure it does help a lot of people. I have an 18 mo old and it’s definitely a struggle sometimes
Don’t take it! Focus on your wife & mom super powers - also most importantly find your God Power to get through this ! HE works! 🙌🏼Get to know him personally & intimately and the rest will take care of itself . Prayers & Blessings. Mom of 4 wishing you the best! Thanks for being real & raw. This will help many. ❤
1. Transitioning into becoming a mom is interesting because I think it enhances our self reflections. We have to devote more time to other little persons for the first 3-4 yrs of life who can’t do things for themselves quite yet. You are doing amazing. You have a really great support system.
2. I think we shelve a lot of ourselves in our 20-30’s as we earn our degrees, get jobs, travel- because we feel invincible. And it isnt until we are forced to “slow down” (because of little persons we raise) that highlight what we need to re balance.
3. Every stage in life is a re calibration of who we are where we are. Either due to personal-internal or external forces. I think we just aren’t as conscientious of that when we set out into our early 20’s because we only had ourselves to focus on.
I feel each of these points so much!!! 🫶
Same girl!!!
🧡🧡🧡
How exactly did you get diagnosed exactly ? Just by telling your symptoms to a dr or what ?
❤❤
Listen to the audiobook The Power of Now. It’ll help you so much ❤
No way! Hiiiii fellow ADHD late diagnosis queen 💕
hahah HIII!! 🥰
I too found out when I became a mother 🥺 masked so well but after my kid it really puts a lot into perspective especially trying to be present and correct personal habits I don’t wish to pass on 😵💫🫠