When my daughter climbs, i put my hand behind her, ready to catch, out of her sight because i want her to be confident. I wonder how many times in my life, did someone have their metaphorical hand ready to catch me, without my knowledge.
I believe most answers are just about perception of the individual. So, try to look at things differently and feel some other angles of the equation that leads you to the answer of "a hut in the woods". After experiencing and thinking from different angles, the new perspective you have will be the one which can give you more solid answers that you can act upon them without much doubt.
I think its not a hut in the woods, but maybe a tent, a backpack and an adventure. And I am a super introverted person myself, the thought of making new friends or maybe only just talking to a stranger is terrifying, But everyone will tell you, me, that in the end its the human interactions, relationships, that mattered the most. And maybe we shouldn't do nothing, but do everything.
Introvertion/extrovertion are not things, the answer most definitely to everything is a hut in the woods and everything else we have made was a mistake.
The story about meeting people on the Appalachian Trail reminds me about how five year olds meet other kids in the park and immediately become best friends for the hour they're there, then leave and never see each other again. Thrown into a world we can't completely control, we act like children and become ourselves again.
@@IceGoddessRukiasame… same 😢 we just need to stay true to ourselves and love the way we used to as kids sometimes… adults are just former children who are what they think an adult should be…at least that’s how I interpret it anyway :)
or travelling to a new city by yourself, suddenly knowing new somebodies, and they knowing you, more than your best friends... only to separate to your own corners of the world again, your tapestry of lives slightly richer for it. And who knows when your paths cross again.
I think it's a load of crap. Why should you require others for your own personal happiness. What if the others are brainwashed zombies. Better no company than bad company.
For months, the youtube algorithm has been recommending this video. I ignored it probably 50 times. I guess the algorithm knows me better than I know myself because this video is incredible! So glad I finally clicked it. You are a gifted storyteller.
Scary how much it knows what we need. Loved this. Do you have a new channel? I hope so. McCandless affected me, too. I went off in a camper in my sixties. It was not for me...
I don't think he's just gifted, he's proof hard work pays off with enough ambition, dedication and insanity anybody can make their interests apart of their profession
@@AlucardTheNecromancerwaiting, not waiting, it doesn’t matter what you do. But, you have to always be looking for it, at least. Truly, you just have to want to look.
@@RagnardtheGreat considering he's Bri'ish...it's possible. Our federal government does love to fund foreigners even though they're supposed to be all about the USA.
Take me, someone younger Im only 17 10 years ago is over half my life I couldn’t imagine that going by like it’s nothing However, I do understand how it can happen Especially to someone older, to where life isn’t nearly as new or important or exciting, I’d imagine it’s easy to lose track of the days go by, just existing in the same patterns and feelings with only the occasional reminder like a birthday or holiday to give notion to the times passing. It’s a scary thought, one that I’ll try not to fall into but doubtful I’ll beat it
@@georgeeliot2012 woah pal I’ll be 18 in 2 months I doubt I’ll have some surreal understanding of the world in that time But regardless the way I interpret “10 years pass in the way 10 years does” as meaning the years are going by quickly and like nothing almost as if it went by without even noticing
if you ever look back at your first reply in 10 years, then I think you'll understand it. I doubt I would have understood it at 17 either@@NekosForever
@@NekosForeverat face value, yeah it sounds like that. but it's the personal experiences, thoughts, dreams, interactions and events that have unfolded or washed away that you really cant convey until you experienced it. you were so busy with your life that life kinda flew by. Not that you missed any of it, but a somber realization that time is slowly not on your side any more maybe.. at least that is how it is for me.
It's both comforting and saddening to know that I am not unique in my struggles, that everything I'm feeling has been felt before, it all has an answer
Most likely something similar to what you feel has been felt before. But it hasn't been felt by you. And you are the only person to be yourself, and maybe you'll find a new answer... Living really is the only sense to being alive.
It DOES have an answer. "Everything is totally random, came from nothing, goes to nothing, so what you got to worry about, NOTHING ! . . . so Always Look on the Bright Side of Life".
This video really helped me two years ago. It came up my feed exactly when I needed it. 2023 was the best year of my life. Hearing this story fueled the first actions that unchained a reaction of things, both good and bad, that happened that year. I never forgot the emotional connection I had with this video, even though I forgot the title. I always found it back. I never forgot the quote "Happiness is real when shared." That fueled me with love, need for adventure and courage through darkness. It was a great start of a year for the best year. Now it's January 3rd 2025, and even though I am not in the same need of this message as I was in 2023, it's still a great way to start the year rewatching this and remembering... To dare to share love, to read, to be adventurous. Thank you for this video.
As a guy that spends a lot of time watching short term videos on tiktok and instagram reels, I find it amusing that this man has managed to make a 46 minute story so interesting, that not in a single moment while watching this, did my brain consisting of fried dopamine recepters, think to wander my attention over to something else. truly an amazing storyteller
stop watching shorts. they make you get less interested in genuinly informative long videos. you just want to skip to something else. you probably know this but stop it before its too late. your attention span and patience will thank you 🙏 just giving advice
Dude I don’t understand how you still think you’re a bad writer, your brand of emotionally honest intellect has been such an inspiration for me, the way you admit your human flaws and weaknesses while weaving beautiful landscapes made out of words soothes my soul. You put your heart into these scripts and that’s what great art is. Personally I don’t think It gets much better than an intellectual stream of consciousness. And I feel like your opinions of your writing are more a critique of your soul rather than a critique of your talent
He is self ruthless because he's been ruthless and the self torture makes him feel better about his prior ruthlessness. You can't pain your way into getting better. You gotta fess up and ask for forgiveness from the ones you've wronged and actually make and take responsibility for it or do good things in the wake of it. He seemingly does neither so its self torture again. Everyone has a path back but it involves amend making and seeking forgiveness and idk if he's prepared for any of that still.
This is one of the greatest video essays I have ever listened to. My husband and I listen to this video every time we are spiraling and in the midst of an existential crisis. This video always helps. Thank you
21 year old here. Its nice to get reminded that I'm, in fact, an idiot, and not feel offended by it. I'm lost, but I'm hopeful, listening to you gives me even more hope, people always write about you being "depression turtle", but I ironically always end up with some newfound energy and optimism after listening to one of your videos. Thanks
I'm 20, currently hating myself for repeatedly not studying for University and wondering why I'm not getting anywhere. It's a bit calming to know that you're not the only one lost, but that most people are. And while you should try to get better, it's okay to not be completely fine and content and happy. I like to believe that I'm slowly coming out of a 2-3 year low in my life, maybe I'm not. Only time will tell.
My master plan is to rope my three closest friends into living off grid with me. I love the woods. I love hiking. Iove nature, even when it's rough. But I also love my friends.
I rather have my family and a farmhouse surrounded by both empty and fertile fields. An occasional BBQ and bonfire with a small group of people would be nice though.
Well I almost cried at the end. Even if you don't end up writing some wildly popular novel, I hope you know that your thoughts are treasured by all of us and that I'm glad you're still here and still willing to share them with us.
I hate to ruin this for you but I think it's worse if you praise him without knowing. This guy is a r*pist and an overall bad dude, please look up the evidence for yourself as I can't link to anything in a youtube comments section.
Exurb1a is deadass one of the greatest video essayists out there. It sucks that he'll always compare his success to books, because in the land of video essays he is undoubtedly at the top of the top. He already achieved success, he already did that capital "G" great thing; his video essays. They are fantastic, life-changing, and just so compelling, and they are incredibly popular. I hope one day he'll realize it, and he'll finally be able to be happy with his accomplishments.
"Our internal lives aren't equasions to solve, there is no master theory of us, we don't arrange things right and forever live the rest of our lives in emotional utopia. It's more a succession of little fires one has to keep putting out hopefully learning to turn that into a dance." That and many other passages are simply poetry. I appreciate your work very, very much.
This quote hit me harder than a train wreck. I almost started balling at my desk while I work on complicated pieces of machinery. I think it hits all of us so hard, not because we are all working hard to achieve something in our lives, but because it's a perfect way of putting into words something we have known. I wish someday his books will begin climbing the ranks of best sellers lists and he will be known for his writing before he dies, but sadly like so many others that perform art it might not happen. @Exurb2a, please know in your heart of hearts that you have done incredible work which will always be remembered, even if it's in the distant future, or tomorrow.
@@eugenefanboy4478On the contrary, it's an unflinching acknowledgment of nuance. It's Socratic in that the more you learn, the more aware you become of your own ignorance. There is no master plan. It's Stoic because to learn "the dance" of putting out the fires is to accept that pain and uncertainty are indisputable, non-negotiable parts of life while also appreciating the artfulness necessary to carve out a life worth living.
@Nateolison I still disagree. This quote is not stoic at all. It doesn't reflect any sort of depth within these dances. It just states that the dance itself is the importance of life. That's not stoic whatsoever. You aren't painting depth within these dances, you're just accepting them, and learning to embrace them. That's not really stoic. I don't agree with that. The goal of life, in my eyes, is to break the dance. To realize that there is no dance, the dance is an endless cycle of desire and pursuit. There is, per say, an "emotional utopia" to experience. But it's not really a utopia, more of just freedom from the binds of the dance. It's nihilistic to think that way, and it doesn't reflect the values of stoicism at all.
@@eugenefanboy4478 Oh I don't know about that. It's human and generous to the grandiose pretensions we may have about what that's about. Someone walking their own path gently punctures the Redemptive Narrative he wrote beforehand and finds life more simple and richer for doing so, surely?
You deadass cannot say you’re a bad writer when you’ve got me crying in the middle of the night while laughing at how silly my little human person problems are. You are one of the people I respect most in the world and I hope you recognized how loved you are.
+1 don't know how this found me in the middle of the night, but it came up to me exactly when I needed. Love your writing and if you don't think your channel is already your great work of art, well then write that goddam novel, you'll never get it perfect, but in the end will realise how many people lives you've touched and how much they're thankful to you. Thank you.
Dang I'm 1:49 in I love into the wild. Eddie Vedder did the soundtrack I think. I will listen to the end the comments are quite promising. I also suggest a movie called "into the void"
I am watching this while sitting in my cabin. In the woods. In the highlands of Hawaii. I didn't come here with any delusion that I'd automatically be happy, but the real revelation, is that there is no revelation.
Well, here was a video that came right at the moment when I needed to hear it. Your life is completely different from the way mine is going but there are so many parallels that it's comforting to know that whatever our problems are, the things we deal with are fundamentally very human. It makes me feel less alone, thank you.
John 3:16 King James Version 16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
I don't think this man realizes how much this makes me want to take a long hike now... Omg this video was enthralling, your voice is so comforting. Right now I am incredibly disoriented from a bad sleep and bad sleep schedule, and I needed this. Fuck this was good
As a man who’s contemplated buying land in another country several times in just the last week alone, this hit me hard. I’m not ashamed to admit that I had tears in my eyes at multiple moments
Don't give up on your dream to buy land, from my experience traveling, integrating into new countries and groups and living a simpler life all benefit you a lot, it may not be as straight forward as you think it will, however
We still need to have a home and have a dwelling. Buying land is the same as buying a house, purpose wise. Buying land to escape all social problems isn’t smart but buying land to live on doesn’t really have much to do with this video to be honest.
Mate, have you ever met a northern mill town Brit? I once saw a guy headbutt a cow. We’re a strange and stupidly agressive when threatened/ drunk. The rest of the time we’re nice as anything.
“It’s more a succession of little fires one keeps putting out, hopefully learning to turn that into a dance”. That line was too damn good you should be proud af that was beautiful
The fact that you managed to keep me enthralled with a 40+ minutes story with a standing camera video in the year of our lord 2023, really tells a lot about your talent and the quality of your content. I'm so glad I found this
Isn't that more about you than about him? He couldn't keep me enthralled. I barely made it to halfway through the video wondering when he was going to get to the bloody point and then just gave up. Kinda like the trail, I guess.
Sometimes I click the like button on a video I find entertaining or funny. But the reason I click like on your videos is because of the fulfilling journey of life’s purpose packed into a single video. The strange optimism I get watching this and relating with my own existential problems makes me feel a bit more relaxed just knowing you’ve had the same experience. Hey maybe us people aren’t so different after all. Kinda funny, every video has the same like button but my appreciation for this kind of content doesn’t even compare to anything else
I've never seen your channel before and I clicked this video because I've always had a dream of living alone in the woods. I don't typically listen to podcasts or watch videos like this, I listened to this whole video and I loved it. Absolutely beautiful content.
@@adamlowe1072 I didn't even know he had this channel, only ever saw the stuff on his other one. I feel like I just discovered a whole treasure trove with this new channel to dive into.
Literally same, listened to this in my lunch break from work and I am returning to work a changed woman! Beautiful! Sharing stories and experience like this makes me grateful for the internet bringing people with similar views/ideas together.
As a silly and naive 21 yo, I want to thank you for this. As "simple" as this simple story is, I found myself lost in it. You are a great writer and storyteller, and most importantly for me, you do a fantastic job at making me reflect on situations I've never found myself in.
Good luck 21. Be silly and curious, naive and humble. Stay as free as possible. Challenge yourself. Experience what you can. Read what you can. Try not to worry. Travel. Learn. Endure. And trust the process of growth. Sincerely, 34
I’m 24. I feel like I’ve matured so much since 21, but I know in another 3 years, I’ll look back at myself today and think “wow what an absolute joke of a person”. Because that’s what life is about- constantly bettering yourself, getting wiser, reflecting on the idiocy you lived in before and (while you may miss it at times), be grateful you don’t live there anymore.
@@phoenix3992 Good luck 34. Be patient with yourself and make sure you take time to reflect on the journeys you've been on and plan for the ones yet to come. Let things go. Take nothing personal. Show your light. Keep growing and keep going. Sincerely, 47
@@elisamontrose-roback676 Thank you Ms. Montrose. I'm fully onto that and so much more! Cultivating that divine spark. Calling found. Walking the path.
This guy is a genius! Only a writer can hate himself but casually write a masterpiece. He talked about the artist that dabbles around but “paints the Moana Lisa”. This guy is the same way. Very well written and edited video.
You know what's funny? You think you're not a good writer but you write scripts for your videos and they turn out to not only be stunning but fucking inspiring. You portray a lot of different feelings and hold the interest of the reader, (listener in this case) very well. Each one of your videos brings a different take and view on subjects. It's a roller coaster of emotions and ideas that create a truly beautiful cocktail of art. Thank you for everything you do. You're truly quite a special person, in your own way.
Truly. Exurb1a is already an established household name, at least in my family. My brother and I stay up to date on the latest stories, and often reflect together. I imagine, assuming a platform for it still exists by that time, that we will surely pass a love of these stories and thought experiments on to our own families one day, and so on and so forth. It's obvious enough that we will not be alone in that. As a writer, if that's not the ultimate goal, the most primordial urge (to have part of one's self carried atop the marching back of human memory even after the window of physiological existence has closed) I truly do not know what is.
While I have to agree with you on everything you said, starting the comment with "you know whats funny" only to then proceed to not tell anything of jolly fun is pretty disappointing.
I clicked this video on a whim and 40 minutes of hanging on to every word later I feel so moved. This felt so much like an audiobook that after I finished I had to double check it wasn’t a reading of a published novel! Thank you for your hard work and sharing your story, I feel like I have to watch this 8 times over until it’s imprinted in my brain!!
after the recent hbomberguy video i honestly considered multiple times if this was also ripped off somewhere. I figured not, I'd always enjoyed exurb1a's content
As someone who's hiked the Pacific Crest Trail and very much desires to live in a hut in the woods at times, this video is a great way to help get you into a better mindset about everything and not setting unreasonable expectations for mental health through the wilderness. You line about not using the trees for your own agenda really struck home with me.
Fellow PCT hikers here. I've noticed since being home from the trail that the wilderness was amazing but it was really the people I was with while on trail that impacted me the most. The best part about a thru hiking for me wasn't necessarily the wilderness aspect but the vulnerability it forces everyone to have. Friendships were formed so easily and coming home I felt an immediate contrast to it.
@@attackofthelumbie9029 For me it was more a combination of things. I had great interactions with so many people but am only in contact with 1 person after the trail, never building too much in the way of lasting friendships. A bad situation with another hiker kind of put a damper on a lot of it. Ultimately what kept me going was the sense of adventure, having a simple goal in mind every day, and joy that can come from relative depravity. I'm hoping to do more long distance hiking though and am keeping an open mind to forming stronger relationships with fellow hikers.
From one writer to another: your words kick ass. Your time in the woods was totally worth it, just for this. For me, a 46 year-old mother, there is no greater happiness than days alone in a cabin in the woods. Definitely don't need anyone present to feel the most exquisite happiness of solitude.
40:36 That line about cats really hit me. My elderly cat turns 16 this year and she got into a fight with an extremely large bengal cat in December 2022 (she was a runt and is only a little larger than your average chihuahua). She, as you said, completely shut down and we were unaware why until we found the wounds on her neck. One got infected and after 2 vet visits and lots of sleeping on laps, she fully recovered and was full of life once more. I'm glad she has become so much more affectionate, not that she never was before, but she comes to find me after university and sleeps in my lap while I sit in my desk chair and use my computer. I think that bengal encounter has made her realise we are here to help her, and when her time comes, she'll pass in my lap instead of somewhere alone - at least thats what I hope.
I think you're onto something. When my grandmother died, among other things, we inherited her cat. We brought it over to our house, and it immediately bolted to hide under a table in the basement. If you tried to reach in to pet it and reassure it, you'd get swiped at. I wanted to pet the damn cat. So I tucked in my fingers, reach in, and got swiped at. But when it got it's claws in my skin, I dragged it out by that and held it in my lap and petted it until it started purring and knew I wasn't there to hurt it. Repeat process until cat gets used to it's new surroundings. So when it got old and fat and started to die, it came into my room to lay down.
Ah yes. Because if your cat doesn’t want your love, obviously the best choice is to just force it on them until they learn to appreciate it - the ol snuggle struggle technique.
Hello, Cat update - she is still doing well, eats lots, drinks lots, cuddles lots, annoys my mother lots and begs for attention or to be let outside so she can sit in the sun now it's summer. I also come back to this video on the off chance lots, it resonates even further now that I'm 20. After quite a significant set of changes in my life since I made this comment - broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years (he was a dick but so was I), fell in love, travelled outside the country myself for the first time ever, met online friends in person for the first time (hope you're well Odd Future 5). I travel frequently alone now. The world is good, I've done so many new things, it was cool to be remade at the beginning of my 20s, everything happened just as I turned 20, the month of my birthday. End of January beginning of February 2024 was such a revolting time for me, and by the middle February, things were still bad in a lot of ways, but I physically felt myself progress. Then March came, April, May, June and now July, and it's ok. It'll be 5 months since I started dating my partner next week, and they bought colours to my world I didn't know existed - they are my world and enrich everything in it. They make me proud, loved, joyous and encourage my goodness, my creativity and my love for the universe and all it's cool shit. They helped me see the type of love and experiences I thought were only possible in film, television and books are real. I love you J, see you Space Cowboy x I see myself moving, travelling, doing everything. I'll try not to get stuck in a stupor, I'm so young and I feel I should use my privilege of being young and well to do something, anything and everything. If you've made it to the end, thanks, watch Upsilon Dies Backwards, it's one of my favourite videos by ol' xurb. Remember, "If the little grey cells are not exercised, they grow the rust." - Hercule Poirot. ~ J.va
I thru-hiked the Appalachian trail in 2017. It took 133 days, 130 of which were full of rainstorms and inclement weather. Every day was a new heap of bodily pain and the hardships of nature, but they were the most peaceful and enjoyable few months of my life. It propelled me on to several more excursions into wildernesses across the world and I am now an avid outdoorsman. If removing ones self from society and eloping into nature is not the answer, I agree it is certainly a catalyst that will show you where your priorities lie.
I personally find that my mind needs to be fed a hearty diet of stimulus and context with which to build inner beauty before it is possible to enjoy sitting alone at home in dark room. I think the moral of this guy's story is that the journey IS necessary, but it hardly matters what exactly it is. It just requires that you lay eyes on (and at least partially comprehend) some of the absurd beauty and complexity this world has to offer, and never forget it. You do need inspiration, but not for any one purpose. If you run out, it's time to go find more
The unpleasant truth is that modern society is an exhausting, confusing, chaotic, needlessly stressful, uninspiring, bizarre, and often petty place to reside. Just consider the constant deluge of information thrown at the modern mind. How is it to cope? No surprise that excursions into the wild act as a reset button. The lone cabin in the woods is a fantasy. We're social and tribal creatures. Our roots have simply dried up through technological evolution. Maybe the answer is to occasionally go out and water yourself.
All things in moderation. Spending a few months out there will do wonders for your body and mind, but living there indefinitely will make you go insane or at the very least make the cons more apparent.. Humans are social creatures. No matter how bad society is, there's a reason why we aren't still hunter gatherers. This lifestyle makes sense to us because it offers a different way of living. Striking a balance between both helps many because it reminds them of their own lives, introduces challenges and quenches the thirst for purpose.. Going to the extreme in either direction will always bring problems.
Thank you for making my day 🥰 Laughter and wisdom in a box, delivered to me early in the morning, in a video that just showed up on my feed. It was like a bright sunshine in a spring day, in ‘nature’. I loved every second of it ♥️
As someone who took off on a very long hike too, the west coast version of the Appalachian trail, PCT. I was the most authentic and human version of myself out there , after 6 months when I finished it to my great surprise, I still didn’t want to return to the world. But when I came back I also found beauty being around others, to write with a pen, paint, read, decorate a space, land in the same place each night. I miss the wilderness everyday, but I know I am not for returning, the people are more beautiful to me now. It is my most cherished adventure. Thank you for this video, it helped me process that lingering yearning for the journey.
Ever since my family went out west and I saw the beautiful mountain oasi and desert canyons, I have wanted to hike the pct. I'm curious: How did you make it work? Did you take time off from work or school, how did you plan your meals, and how did you afford it? I would love to hike the pct; it's my dream. But I'm about to be 18 and about to go to college. How do people make these grand adventures work? How do you do it?
@@LiterallyaFacePalm if you were impressed by the desert, your mind will be blown by the Sierra Nevadas and the entire state of Washington and kings canyon and all the waterfalls in Oregon!! I went to school for two years and became a PTA so I could get a job right away and have little debt. Only owned a cheap used car, I worked two jobs for a year and lived in a cheap rented bedroom and saved as much money as possible and took off only one weekend a month from work so I could save enough and pay off my college debt. I chose not to go out with friends or travel to save up. Then I quit my jobs, got rid of my place and went straight to the pct. I had only ever backpacked one night by myself before I did the thru haha. People thought I was nuts to work that hard but it was truly my passion, everyday for 2 years I dreamed of my adventure and I was willing to sacrifice whatever it took because my heart longed for this hike. Was the hardest, most beautiful, life changing thing I have ever done. My only sadness is struggling to find anything after trail that can ever compare to the freedom I felt. On trail I had a mini stroke 3 weeks in and had to get helicoptered to a hospital, I started having panic attacks for the first time after the stroke and a fall I took down a steep mountain side, I have scars on my legs from falling on my knees with my legs giving out from under me because I was so exhausted, I almost got heat exhaustion, I nearly gave in the hypothermia, 100 miles to the finish I broke my toe, at the beginning it would take me two hours to fall asleep because when I finally laid down my whole body would spasm and cramp and I would shiver because I was only able to eat 500 calories a day at the start, I had massive blisters all over my feet, water was scarce at some points…and all of it, every minute, was absolutely worth it. Through all the struggles I promised myself I would crawl to the end of if I had too (the end then got closed because of a fire) but I made it as far as they would let me. I saw two 19 year olds out there on a tight budget so it is possible! Don’t feel like you need the most modern/light/expensive gear (do get a garmin in reach) don’t stay in hotels often, don’t hitch hike into towns alone, don’t try and keep up with anyone out there. The older you are it only gets harder to go because you get more stuff, more responsibilities. Durston gear has some great lightweight tents for way cheaper, ULA ohm 2.0 or circuit are great backpacks, get a high quality sleeping bag/pad to stay warm, learn a lot about shoes before you go (injini makes toe socks that did help my blisters, but not much really stopped them except leukotape p slapped on them). Watch Dixie’s trail documentary, Darwin on the trail and others for inspiration!!! This is my path, they are so many types of people out there with many stories!
@@hikeoverheels5429 Wow! That's an insane level of dedication. It sounds like it was truly worth it, though. My plan right now is to take a month off from work and school every summer and to hike a quarter of the trail! Hopefully, in 4 years, I will have seen the whole trail! I've been dreaming of the PCT since I visited Yosemite, and even more since I went backpacking out in New Mexico.
The way you describe your 20's rings true to to my own Also, as someone who works in hospice, I can tell you that when you spend a lot of time around people that are 99 years old it starts to put ones own age into perspective. 32 feels young when you are around a Centenarian
@@ThorPalsson Hospice was great to some of my family members. They made them remain comfortable and the whole process as painless as it could be. How could I not say thanks to anyone doing such a difficult but necessary service?
Completely stumbled upon this video by accident but holy moly did I need it.... I didn't even realize how much I needed it until you started talking about that desire, that need to be lost in the woods, alone... And maybe all of us at some point should say "fuck it" and go do something spontaneous that we aren't ready for, because that's the spice of life if you think about it... I've been - lets say - wallowing in my own depression, suffering from a lack of purpose and direction while simultaneously having everything I could ask for. A roof over my head, 3 square meals a day, a loving family that supports and cares for me, a career that pays my bills and lets me enjoy hobbies I've always wanted to pursue... Yet. There are still days that I cant get out of my own head, days where it feels like I can't do anything right and my whole life will come tumbling down around me. Days where I wish I could run off into the wilderness and never be heard from again. But I know that won't fix my problems, my own desire of self preservation would drive me back to the "real world" soon enough only to be met by all the things I selfishly abandoned, which have now grown to unfixable proportions and thus manifested in my greatest fear of ruining my own life over my own selfishness... Anyway. No one will read this but I guess what I'm trying to say is exactly the message this video is trying to convey, that I'm very lucky, and I should be thankful for the little things in my life and strive for bigger and better but running away off into the woods - as appealing as it sounds on shitty days at the office - will not magically fix my life or my mental health, only I can do that. I'm sure none of this made any sense but after 3 beers and a little self reflection, it feels good to get (whatever this is) off of my chest. Thank you.... From: A random American from Minnesota.
I think the key message you didn't mention is that you shouldn't run away community. Friends and family were always the important things. Even when he ran away, connection with others is what mattered the most. Take time to yourself when needed, sure. But open yourself to others and you will feel more free. Cultivate relationships like plants in your garden and they will grow. I hope you find more inner peace, stranger.
Hey, I get it exactly. If it helps at all, As you get older some wisdom kicks in and you start to see yourself as part of the world, part of your place in it and that weirdly helps put some of our despair into perspective. Good luck, friend, from a person in Illinois. (these winters don't help!)
One of my friends had recommended this video to me months back when we were just sitting by a campfire talking about life. I never gave it much thought until tonight when I had been struggling with some schoolwork and for some reason it just popped back up. I'm an aspiring writer and it is crazy to me that you explained and experienced the same struggle I have been having the past few years. I have so many ideas for stories and that has come with so much self-doubt in my ability to create anything. The few times I would sit down to write there would be nothing that would come out. I never knew why, and it was starting to break me since creative writing is my life and my subject of study. It felt as if who I am was slipping away with each passing day that I couldn't write. Just today the motivation to write has started to trickle back into my mind each time I sit down at my desk, and I feel like I am alive again. I can't express how thankful I am for your video. It gave me a reason and an explanation as to why my brain would just shut off every few months right when I thought I was just getting going with my stories. I wish you the best with any future endeavors you have, and I will always return to this video in those dark times in between those illusive creative episodes.
I’m 20 currently, confused as fuck studying at uni. I’ve always loved your creative story telling but sometimes these quirky little stories mean more to mean than I could know. You seem to tackle the phenomenon of being lost quite a bit, but this story was very grounded and human. Something about listening to this while going to my part time in the morning made me feel some type of way. Your stories always stick with me, or at least some part of me, thank you :)
Aye bro read a book called inventing Elliot by Graham Gardner. It's not going to give you any answers but it might get you asking useful questions. At 28 the best advice I can give you is don't get drunk about it. Especially if you're sad or pissed off and never alone. I wasted so much time on that and then I wasted more time being bummed out about the time I wasted. Get into something physical, boxing is always good even if you don't like fighting, it'll get/keep you fit and build confidence. Nobody has ever said "I wish I didn't learn how to block a punch" Messing with electronics is great too. I build my own electric skateboards and bikes. Scooters ain't worth the effort trust me. Fucks your back up and can't carry half as much as a bike or go as many places unless you wanna drop 2k. Also taught myself glassblowing at your age, gonna get back into that when I have a shed to put a kiln in. Airbrushing is fun and relatively cheap and you can make some real pretty stuff without much "talent" and some freaking amazing stuff if you put the work in. We don't have any more purpose in life than what we give ourselves. Look after yourself, look after your day ones but don't take shit from them either. Keep your head up and keep moving forward and you'll be alright man.
Why are you confused? You aren't doing what you want? I was lucky to realize everything was BS while a child, so I never fell for the lies of the 'system.' I only went to college when I knew exactly what I wanted to do; I act with absolute certainty in all my actions. If you are confused, take a step back and figure out what you actually want to do is, and then do it. No doubt, no hesitation
I think you wrote something really profound here, and you're an excellent narrator. Thank you for speaking to the restlessness a lot of us feel, I'm just as guilty about fantasizing scenarios that would "fix me" and this story really is grounding!
I love to come and watch this video every few months, whenever I feel like doing so. It's always refreshing, I always take something new off of it. I guess this comment is my way of saying thank you, for actually being a really good writer. (I read The Fifth Science like 4 months ago and it's changed my life, thank you)
I whole-heartedly believe this is one of the powerful and unique perspectives I've ever heard. Never once during this video was I bored, and I am struck with the depth that comes with only 46 minutes. I have no doubt I will re-watch this video several times in the next few decades.
Likely to be lost in the mountains of comments, but your video is the one I use for grounding. When I'm spiraling about my purpose, my life, what I want do, who I want to be, where I want to go. You have my deepest and continous gratitude.
@@exurb2a114 This is either my 3rd or 4th watch through I believe, since it came out. It's got its own playlist and I've got it downloaded just in case lol. It really feels like a long hike through the woods, a meandering narrative that tells the stories of the surroundings, the lessons learned. If anything, I think you're a brilliant writer and deserve all kudos, even with just this.
There has never been a better title more perfect and more eloquent than yours- “ the answer is not a hut in the woods” those few words reached out from the endless abyss of words and told me I must stop what I’m doing and listen to what this person has to say. I’m so glad they did, because that was exactly what I needed to hear and it found me exactly where I could be found. Thanks.
This video left me feeling a type of relief and clarity that I haven’t felt in years. Thank you. You have impacted my life in a very positive way today
Being depressed, it's really hard for me to stay focused on a single thing without doing anything ekse for a long time. But I clicked on this video, and started to listen... Then, 46:25 minutes later, I find myself writing this comment. You managed to hook me, and I'm not even a native English speaker. Your words did resonate deeply within me ! Reading the others comments, I guess we all agree that you're anything but a bad writer ! Your storytelling was so fluid and sincere, thanks for sharing it with us
I have a much better and real solution that doesn't involve useless new age claptrap. That is to GET OUT OF AMERICA. Go to a HAPPIER FREER country like the Philippines or Thailand or Cambodia or Latin America, etc. America is unfriendly, toxic, antisocial, misanthropic, etc. Everything there brings you down. When you leave America a huge burden is lifted off your shoulder. You feel freer, better, less isolated, no social anxiety etc. Because people abroad have REAL SOULS you can connect with and are not soulless like in America. There is no ice wall between strangers in most other countries too so you can connect with people and DATE as many women as you want. ZERO social anxiety or isolation. And LOWER cost of living. What more can you ask for?! In the Philippines I have unlimited dating, sex, girls, romance, fun, freedom, etc. And much lower cost of living too. What more could you ask for?! Going to SE Asia is a true paradise. When you experience all this you will kick yourself for not leaving America sooner! That's the REAL SOLUTION. No BS. But most people won't tell you about it because it's taboo to talk about this for some reason. If you see my podcasts you will learn more about why my solution WORKS and has no BS cliches that are useless like other TH-cam videos do.
I relate to everything you said, and I'm not a native english speaker either, although I mostly consume content in english, this video is amazing, this is what I pay youtube premium for
Is that really how long this was? I did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen and fed my plants some stinky compost water while I listened to it. I'm not usually that productive. It was a bit magical wasn't it?
i dont know what to call you (parasocial relationships are weird), but i just wanted to say that the work you have published on your channels over the years has evoked emotions & introduced philosophies that are just as if not more powerful than almost any book, or movie, or documentary, or conversation ive ever had with anyone else. we all go through those cycles of sadness & anxiety, thinking we arent good enough or haven't done enough good to justify our lives, so id like to just say now for if you ever have future doubts: your work has changed me for the better, and im sure it has changed many others too. that is something you should be immensely proud of, and im not sure theres any greater goal you could look to achieve in your life
Same here. I still remember when "10,000 More Years of the Scientific Method" came out, as I was just starting university in the engineering field, it pumped me up and fed my hunger of wanting to understand how the world works. The "long" videos of condensed uncountable hours of thought, maybe intentional, maybe just because the ceiling was looking particularly nice that day. The humour, so on part with mine, love it. The constant cycle of existential crises that I also go through and that I usually want to share and bond over with other people in my physical space but can't because somehow everyone knows who they are and it's almost like only I ponder about this stuff. So yeah, parasocial relationships are weird man.
@@CeliaTyree hi, so as far as i know, this sa case that you mentioned is just an accusation. its a very serious accusation, but i do believe its important to uphold "innocent until proven guilty". ive looked into the evidence & it seems like the victim, who was quite mentally unstable, accuses exurbia of conducting a prolonged experiment on her in which he makes things called "synchronisations" (which is the thing where 2 things that are connected happen closely together, leading you to think it was "fate". eg: when you think of a certain thing, a certain song starts playing on the radio, which is connected to the thing youre thinking about). the victim claims that in 2016, exurbia repeatedly fabricated synchronisations around her as some sort of experiment, to the point where she became extremely mentally unwell & delirious. she then took a large amount of medication, was sa'd by him & hospitalized, then sa'd again after exiting hospital. the only evidence behind this claim, afaik, is a voice mail in which exurbia mentions how synchronisations are very intruiging to him & might be explainable by science. but that is it. i couldnt find any actual evidence pertaining to the sa apart from accusations. the claim of sa was eventually filed 8 months after she exited hospital (allegedly as a result of poor police procedure), which was late 2017. 3 years later, a dutch journalist investigated the story & some dutch articles were written on the topic. then, around a year ago, a youtuber made a video on the topic discussing everything. since then, i couldnt find any new evidence that has been released or developments on the case. please feel free fill me in if ive missed anything important. but right now, i think it is much wiser to handle this situation as an accusation which has not been neither confirmed nor denied & nothing more, and let the authorities handle it if necessary
I'm a 33 year old artist and performer. My life just got shaken up in a major way following a pretty nasty breakup. I had all my presumed purpose ripped away from me in the span of a few days. This video came across my recommended feed right around the time I was thinking, "what if I just live in a hut in the woods?" I am incredibly grateful for you sharing your story here. It spoke to me in exactly the way I needed it to at exactly the time in which I needed to hear it. Truly profound insight here, thank you.
@@masonkent9468 I'm sure you get this a lot, I certainly did when I was your age. You're young. You bounce back, I promise. But you have to keep trying. Your options are to try to make every day a little better, or don't. If I could go back to being 21 again, I would seize every opportunity I could. And I certainly wouldn't have spent so much of my twenties moping around wishing things were different. Just get to living. Some days are easier, some days are harder. That's life. You either flow with it or let it wash you away. That's your call to make.
@@thomthornhill it's hard where I live. There is under 3,000 people in my town. Covid ended high school early and college. I'm going to college next semester tho luckily. And all my old friends are gone bc my ex has bpd and she trash talks me and says I was the abusive one. She abused me for 6 years, so it's hard. Destroyed my mental health. I have bipolar, it was ok before I met her, but my mental health just kept declining while I was with her. Luckily it's getting better but it's hard. She also got me addicted to drugs and got me into drug dealing and I went to jail for a month and a half and that's when she left me, when at my lowest after all she did to me. I kept doing drugs with her because it made her less abusive and when she was abusive it made me not care.
@@masonkent9468 Sounds to me like you got out of something you really needed to get out of. Take care of yourself, do things you enjoy, and don't try to bury your bad feelings. Bad feelings are there to teach us, to help us grow. If you spend all your time avoiding those feelings and thoughts or trying to cover them up, they end up getting repressed and slowly building up over time. It's a long, difficult process, but know that this internet stranger is rooting for you. You got this. 💪
I turned 22 years old 2 hours ago. I was scared going into this video. From the title alone, I was sure I was about to have the shit called out of me. I was scared, but it felt so serendipitous that this message arrived to me in the first hours of my 22nd birthday that I had no choice but to listen. Of course, instead of the judgement I was offering myself, I got a beautiful insight into the human experience, growing up, and "purpose". I am not the biggest believer in fate, but I am deeply grateful for this coincidence nonetheless. Ps: Just yesterday, I recommended your channel to my younger sister (she is a lot like young you, an artist at heart, struggling to find her path and feeling like she could never amount to something Great. She is already Great in my eyes
I'm turning 22 years old in 9 hours and 50 minutes. And I feel much like you do. I think and hope that those "coincidences" of finding the straightforward answers where and when you least expect them never stop.
when you started talking about how we don't desire things, we desire desire, and how friendships were really real and genuine really fast but without expectations, I just got tingles all over and I got filled with a feeling I haven't felt in a long time. I haven't done any long hikes like that, but I was homeless quite often in my teens. A lot of people think homelessness is the worst thing that could happen to you - for me it was one of the best. It was fucking heartwrenching and messy and tragic and dangerous lots of the time, sure. But dear god, I hope I never forget the joy of scavenging a handful of cigarettes and panhandling a plastic bag of three (!!!) oreos, coming back to the youth shelter and getting two friends so you can each have an oreo and a cigarette, because it was just too lucky not to share. When I went to sleep, in an alley or a shelter, I never knew if I'd wake up the next day. I was using hard drugs and had frequent lung infections, and if I was sleeping outdoors it was even more risky. And yet I have never slept so soundly. Maybe that's just from the exhaustion of carrying everything you own, but hey. Any bed was cloud nine. My relationships were so much more meaningful - the homeless people in my city were like a big family (not that they all liked each other, but so it is with most families), and those people cared for me more than most of my blood family had. But without a sense of owing or being owed. And my real, like, inner-circle "street family" - I've never had relationships like that before and sometimes I fear I never will again. Our world wasn't fair. Sometimes 14 year olds got killed or OD'd and died. You never knew who it'd be next - but someone would be next. And that's some really fucked up stress for teenagers to live under, but fuck, it totally changed me for the better. You realize what matters. You realize that death doesn't discriminate, and that alone means most differences are pretty inconsequential. You become more forgiving, you realize that most people's lives are fucked in ways you can't even imagine, and they're probably trying their best. But if you really do have a problem with something, you speak up more willingly. And most of all, a lesson I wished I hadn't learned the hard way, if you love someone, for fucks sake, just tell them. Yeah, maybe it is awkward, but tomorrow they might be dead, or you might be, and you might spend the rest of your life wishing you'd just said it. Anyway, yeah, it really is the simple things
@@alexpender6317 I hope you truly are. I realised reading your comment that it doesn’t even matter to me how or why you were in that situation, but I felt I was there with you, and the how or why didn’t fucking matter at the end of the day when you had to lay down to sleep in the “civilised” outdoors. Bless you for taking the time to share. I learnt more from this comment than I have in many years of talking to … well, anyone really .
Haven't finished the video yet, but i just wanted to say that Geometry for Ocelots was so unlike anything i've ever read and so incredibly impressive that after a year or two i still haven't fully processed it. Among other heavy feelings it awoke an emotion of spacey lonliness that i just cannot describe and i'm still building up the courage to reread it. Truly something special...
The three or four books of his that I own all fall into this category... Only author that I have bought all the book I could get in print. (I dont care for kindle).
Very inspiring video. Makes me want to enjoy books, opera, the outdoors, stranger’s company and more. I’m a very lost young adult but it’s people such as yourself that share your experience and offer opinions that make all the difference.
What a beautifully written story, I couldn’t stop listening. I’ve got a feeling that someday I’ll go on my own adventure to the cabin in the woods, but I’ll keep your wisdom in mind.
It's so surreal because I'm in my early 20's and want a similar sort of escapism in the wilderness. Over breaks in college, I would usually pack up my car and go drive far off and camp in the mountains somewhere for weeks on end. I've always felt at peace just walking up these mountains and far away from everyone. It would help clear my head about my career, expartner, drama, family, or whatever. I've felt this need to go on this grand adventure before I settle down with the degree I get when I graduate but I have no idea where to start. Some of my friends who have already graduated have been talking about buying a plot of land and living off of it for a year or so. Another part of me just wants to do my own thing. I still have no idea but we'll see where it goes. Thanks for the insight, space turtle
I'm in my last year of uni. I'm planning on disappearing into the wilderness of Spain for a few months after I graduate. Just walking, camping, vibing. The thought of doing this is the only thing keeping me going at this point.
I'm going to be completley honest, this is one of the best videos i've ever seen, heard or experienced. It gives me the hint of "a perfect life is a life with many troubles, even though it doesn't seem like it" its truly beautiful to see how upside-down we think of what a good life seems like.
@@clouds-rb9xt sure !! So basically he talks about a time (10 years ago) when he experienced one of those sad but i don't know why moments. So he went imto nature to clear his mind becouse "he wasn't made for this world" but eventually he realises that the best part of trying to be alone in nature was a middle aged woman he met. Which means he wasn't really looking for being alone. The story is also about him thinking he can't write good things and being a mess (he writes some really good things). I understand you maybe don't have time to watch the video but if you get a chance PLEASE DO. I watched it 5 times
Once I was a closeted introvert, but turned 'normal' due to harsh events and hard places. I watched this and I cried, sobbed, and wept. I am so utterly incredibly stupidly lucky I have done some of the things you mentioned subconsciously, and that i have very few, but also very loving friends. I will add hiking into my bucket list. I will continue looking for new friends and taking care of my existing friends. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for inspiring me.
The paradigm of 'introvert' and 'extrovert' are arbitrary and made up. I've literally had no contact with people for 3 months, just total self isolation, meditation, and self improvement. I taught myself languages, musical instruments, math, philosophy etc. I can also go into any social situation and be charismatic as fuck and have everyone genuinely liking me; I can be the life of the party whenever I please, or just sit an observe Once someone puts a label on themselves, they start acting that way
@Blue Bee Not really. Humans are a social species, and they need eachother to survive. Who makes your clothes? Who farms, processes and ships your food? Who built the house or apartment that you shut yourself away from the world inside? I say this even as quite a cynical person, you won't like everyone, but some kind of company is important. Isolation is terrible for the human psyche & you can't experience the world through a computer screen.
You have no idea how much this video has helped me. My parents are going through divorce and I quit my job and feel aimless and full of pain. I wanted so bad to just walk off and disappear into the woods like in the movie you mentioned. To escape and "find myself" but you reminded me that my pain is just change that I will eventually get used to and move on. So from the bottom of my heart thank you.
I don’t typically comment on videos but this one moved me in a way that I don’t know if I have been before at such a deep level. Seriously beautiful and has changed my entire perspective on life. It sounds goofy but this really is special. One of my favorite works of art I’ve ever come across
That was legitimately one of the best readings I have ever listened to. Such a great level of wit and conciseness. This is one of those rare 45 minute videos that I just listen to with distraction or interruption and the time has flown by. You are such a great writer and I’m very interested to check out your other work. Extremely good! 👍 📖😊
You know. This video made me realize something I feel like I should have realized so much earlier. I've also always had a call to run off and take a road trip or a long hike or otherwise just go to a new area where I don't know anyone. I thought it was because I craved the solitude and wanted to be alone. I think what I really craved this whole time was the experience of meeting new, like-minded people. Making friends. Experiencing new things WITH other people. Out of everything in your stories of travel, the things I connected the most with and the things that made me the happiest were the genuine and kind interactions you had with others. I don't want solitude. I want the wisdom imparted by others simply because they come from vastly different walks of life. I want to have conversations and learn about people without having to worry about bad intentions. This cleared a lot of things up in my mind, and was incredibly well put. Thank you.
Plz don't mind my words or take to your heart. I don't intend to hurt you at all but in my humble opinion I feel like you can never get what you need from people unless you cherish solitude and have it in your life in good amounts. When we are attached to people, their experiences, their situations and what not, we become a part of them and they become a part of us. Unfortunately in today's world and just from the beginning of time we are bound to run into some bad apples even though there's much wisdom to gain from them as well. You can be alone and happy but still think about other's well being, cook something for them, take care of them without them being entitled to your service or act of kindness. People will use different sayings, philosophy and whatever piece of knowledge to justify why solitude is wrong and family/people is everything. But we are stuck with them most of times for social reasons. Ofc we need to survive in groups but can we really not survive on our own? Imo we can and we can still love people and have faith in them. Without sacrificing a part of ourselves which we might not be taking care of or don't care about enough to know that it was actually really precious to be sacrificed away for some people. We need self love and respect so that we can give back in different yet simple ways. It's a slow process and lifelong process but being with groups makes things faster and easier for our lazy and cruel selves. Love for people, their experiences and everything comes from the depths of heart if that same heart knows how to love themselves. You will leave alone (when there's drama or negativity) and be with them when they need someone without any expectations or responsibility. In the end solitude is precious and shouldn't be underestimated like this. People are of all different types and everything will keep changing whether nicely or badly. You just need to be there for yourself without expecting anyone to be there for you. If someone is there then you can welcome wholeheartedly. It's like the universe rewards you for keeping your record clean and working hard enough to be a better person (whatever that looks like to you) World's problems are not your individual problems and no one likes someone who deviates from the norms. We need to be brave enough to leave those expectations that slowly kills us in many ways directly or indirectly. Don't you think this can be also a great way to live. Social interactions will always exist in many ways no matter what happens. A 20 something youth living in a big city alone leaving behind the dramatic people in his life for a new start and suffering from consequences of these people will always interact with people for several necessities. It doesn't makes him rude or bad or very individualistic. He's changing his life and environment. That's a part of his becoming a better person process. I still respect what you said and 😅sorry for writing so much of the stuff. Thanks for reading. Have a nice day. Good luck!🤗
I totally have come to that same conclusion recently. I thought I wanted to be alone where no one knows me, but what I want is to meet new people and have new experiences. I think I’m searching for my place to belong too.
"I want to have conversations and learn about people without having to worry about bad intentions." - beautifully said, I was bullied during most of my childhood and I've spent so much time blaming myself for it "I was weird, I was different" and it's taught me to be cautious with people, don't give them fuel, be infallible. It's exhausting and is the only real reason I'm introverted. The hardest thing for me now as an adult is separating what was and what is. Unteaching myself these lessons. I'm not responsible for how other people act towards me. I am not responsible for how they feel, I am not responsible for what they do. A lot easier said than done but I hope writing this comment convinces me that I need to go out and explore socially, that what I need isn't more solitude, a clean room, cold showers and meditation but rather genuine connection. I just don't want the risk of hurting like before.
And I've learned that you do meet people, a friend or two, that are perfect, that do understand life exactly the way you do, and you revel in their friendship until one day they exit your life and you wonder "why" and then time goes by and you forget and go on alone, very happy in solitude. Yeah, you think, I'm OK. That's life. And set about creating another artwork which you know is genius, but you think in terms of "oh I guess I can do a little art". Meanwhile, you are damn glad that you like being with yourself and the answer never lies with other people. It's you all along. 🙂 The end.
This really resonated with me. I had a partner who had a similar idea about going into the world and trying to find himself. But the more I talked to him about why he wanted to do that, the more I realized that the answers he was looking for were right in front of him, blurry and unfocused because of how close he was looking at them. You miss the forest for looking too closely at the leaves I tried to explain that it felt more like he was running from himself instead of running to something. That life can just be life, and there is happiness in the little things (I went through my own similar crisis after I lost my drive for an art career) But it wasn't the answer he wanted to hear... We split after a while because I wanted a quiet life at home with friends and a family, and he wanted to be alone. I loved him dearly and desperately during that time, what little time it was. This video reminded me of how much of this has to be understood alone, and you can't love someone into reading the answers of their life Mike, if you're reading this, I hope you find yourself again...and please don't eat random mushrooms
Okay I get your point but is it not arrogant to assume you have the answers to someone else's problems? If it were that easy, he would have found it out himself. I'm more like your boyfriend and want to leave where I am right now but other than you, I don't have family and friends to keep me here even though I put effort in trying to find community. Please be aware that community doesn't come easy for everyone and I can imagine that that might have been a driving force for your ex. People are not meant to be lonely so they find ways to cope.
@@Shirumoon Hey there, just thought I'd chime in as I'm in between the two: I very much crave going away to maybe a hut in the woods, but I also have friends. Good friends that I know love me very much. Yet I still feel alone a lot. I don't think it's arrogant to assume that you know the answerd to someone else's problems. Of course they won't all work and be the right answers, but I believe that usually, for most people, the answer isn't to be alone. The answer may be to be temporary alone, and for a few people it may be for a longer time. But overall I believe that it is human to want to belong. The only problem is finding people that you feel like you belong with. And to get there, maybe being alone is the answer for now. Because how can you know who you belong to without first getting to know yourself. I just today returned from a trip to the woods. It was just one night sleeping in a hammock under a tarp, realizing how easy it is to get that alone time, that made me feel like I've gotten closer to what I want. The issue is that I'm back home and I cannot, for the life of me bring myself to reach out to my friends and ask if they would like to hang out. The problem here isn't my community, it's me. And I believe that there will be many more nights alone or with a temporary love interest in the woods (and hopefully lots of productive therapy sessions), before I will not only know, but also feel that my friends are the answer. But first I need to become friends with myself again.
It's been years since I've watched one of your videos and yet, somehow, when I need a lesson like this the most you get recommended to me I seriously cannot explain the inner peace your videos bring me, and even if you don't know it you've helped me so many times that I'd really be lost without you
"We don't arrange things right and forever live the rest of our lives in emotional utopia. It's more a succession of little fires one has to keep putting out, hopefully learning to turn that into a dance." DAMN I needed to hear that. Thank you so much for how you shared this story and your wise words :)
just wanted to say, this video actually helped me get through a really bad panic attack. your storytelling is incredibly immersive and allowed me to focus on the story and not my anxiety. amazing video! thank you!
I escaped to Yellowstone for a summer, one of those people who seemingly spawn in to work in the restaurants or general stores. I worked about five days a week but was constantly surrounded by the beauty of it all, finding myself becoming that of an extrovert in which I am not. It took me 20 years to realize that the problem I had with myself wasn't with myself, but rather those around me who traipsed and trampled any sense of identity in which I maybe had. This video had been reccommended to me shortly after my return to that same scenario, and I scoffed upon reading the title. I /had/ just successfully found several answers after escaping to the woods so, give me a little credit. After listening, I understand your points and would have to agree with you on them. It truly is amazing how quickly people can bond with one another when you're not faced with conflict of society or the burden of time. Thank you for verbalizing these concepts and adding more to think about.
One of the worst parts of being an introvert, neurodivergent, etc... is that you're simply not designed for generic society. As he said, you eventually learn to "fake an illusion of being outgoing". But that generic form of "socializing" will always feel insincere and unsatisfactory. We're just not made for it. I always come out of those types of interactions tired and annoyed. And I think part of it stems from the fact that you everything just feels so insincere and fake. It feels like some childish game where everyone pretends that they're better than the other person, or where everyone is just trying to impress the other person. But, as you mentioned, it seems like out in the wilderness people are just more real and honest. Those are the types of interactions I wish I had more often. It's difficult to explain. I just hate how the universal advice everyone gives introverts is always "go to parties" or "just make more small talk" and other superficial "advice" of the same sort. You don't need to pretend to be an extrovert. Hang out with other introverts and weirdos and nerds and weebs, that's your tribe, they'll understand you.
Having already listened enraptured to Exurbia's works before, it was funny to hear him describe his younger self despairing at not being able to match the standards of Thoreau or Austen, instead only imitating them and hating himself for doing so. Well, it was only because he was imitating their medium. I daresay ol' Henry and Jane would've felt just as hopeless were they to have been born after him, trying to attain-yet-not-imitate _his_ style in a TH-cam video like this. The thing about the Greats of established mediums is that usually, they were great because of what _new_ things they brought to the table, not because they were simply imitating what already came before themselves. There was often something so new, raw, risky, and dynamic about their work that they made an indelible mark, which many of them never got to even reap the rewards of because there hadn't been enough time for their "cream" to settle to the top of the massive barrel of same-y imitators. This is how art does. Someday, in the future, the TH-cam era will be a thing of the past. And those who were most impacted by such long-form video essays as Exurbia's will naturally have memories of what/who impacted them most, and those old creators with the most deep and widespread impact will naturally be the most remembered. The "Greats" of this format _will_ be remembered, even if not today. And I believe Exurbia is,and will be, one of them.
"its odd to be sad at something you cant even explain to another human" is amazing words. we all trip forward if we cant already run. that or something alive in pain and or outside the game? lol anyway, thank you, I actually typed a lot but decided to delete it, dont worry it was only related to the first sentence. I learned from the venting, and do believe you deserve more subs. letting go to see a new. Best of luck exurb2a edit; I only just started the video, expectedly knew it would be good, your writing about farm number 1 and other writers / creative writing in general has thi satisfied thus far, I shall let you go until next time, now continue.
This is one of the most beautiful stories I have ever listened to. Well done. In a world where shorts bairly keep my attention, you captured it for almost an hour.
As I was getting hypnotized by your words and interesting stories and thoughts, I was taken aback when you mentioned Bulgaria. I'm a Bulgarian and I'm surprised how someone like you who seems to have travelled quite a bit and spent so much time in the woods somehow found his way in Bulgaria and even feeling it as your true home. It's surprising when so many Bulgarians are trying to run away from here...
I’m American and so is my dad who lived in Bulgaria for two years when he was in his 20’s. He still talks about it almost every day and I can tell he really cherished his time there and wants to go back someday. I’m hoping to go soon as well so I’ll have to see but I think there’s something really special about your country that some people there might just take for granted.
I think it's similar to Lithuania. My Soul feels so at home in Lithuania due to the nature and food and natural medicines and a sort of reverence by some of the mythology we have - but living there financially is really hard atm, and as a woman can be challenging if you're in areas where there men of an older generation (or if alcoholism is rampant). I would LOVE to live there if it weren't for the finances and remnants of the soviet regime. I am really looking forward to travelling around the country and learning natural medicines, about nature, etc, but not too sure if I could live for any big part of my Life. I imagine I might end up living there again but probably not for 2 years at a time.
I’m 17 right now and terrified of the world ahead and about my “purpose” or my lack of one. I lost my dad around two years ago and he was a strange person, an amazing, kind, intelligent, but nevertheless strange individual. I don’t know why but your voice, even though sounds nothing like his, reminds me of him. I think it’s the way that you put your words together, or just how similar some of your phrases were. Thank you. (Edit: and to everyone replying to me just giving some of their story or sharing some wisdom, thank you so much it matters so much more than you might think
I’m also seventeen and I can really relate to your initial statement deeply. Here’s some advice: Start doing mindfulness(or transcendental meditation) daily. Start doing the Wim Hof method with cold showers and then gradually implement ice baths. I suggest purchasing a steel(or stainless steel, or copper even) ‘sadhu board’. Start by doing the Wim hof method, and then start by standing on the board evenly with your entire bodyweight. Best held for around 15-20 minutes to begin with. After a period of time, I suggest doing push ups on said board. If it’s possible, eat a natural, healthy and organic diet; Bereft of anything artificial, processed or unhealthy. Start doing martial arts or combat training; I recommend Krav Maga above all, or alternatively a combination of Muay Thai and BJJ. Spend more time pursuing your own passions, I recommend reading much on: literature, philosophy and psychology. Furthermore, whatever interests you. If you are terrorised of the world ahead, I strongly recommend reading all of Robert Greene’s books. They gave me very useful skills(Albeit Machiavellian in nature; on which note I’m probably a high functioning factor one psychopath-not the kind that likes killing people for reference sake, and Machiavellian.) Read, read and read; Maybe write too. If not, make time for a different form of expression e.g a form of art like charcoal drawing, painting, poetry…whatever it may be. Develop immense discipline. It’s difficult when you’re uncertain about where you may be headed, but I suggest honing your knowledge, skills and abilities so that you can pursue whatever path you please when you know where it is that you seek to go. Lastly, this is probably a bit escoteric but become a prodigy in something, well-interesting. I used to think that seventeen was too late(due to much lost time because of being chronically ill etc). Then I realised that there’s no time pressure on anything beyond society which is just a large group of individuals who live like livestock but nonetheless. A bit oddly f*cking specific from me, however salvage what you will. I hope you find yourself and live a meaningful life(however you come to define it). Farewell.
May not help but stop trying to find a purpose, it will find you. Me for example found a purpose just from watching a random recommended yt video after watching a restoration of a bread knife. A whole new world opened up to me in the form of watchmaking. I didn't find it, it found me. Basically get out there and explore otherwise it might never find you.
Same. I don't know why but the world just seems so big and so loud nowadays. My lack of purpose and indecisiveness in terms of what I'm supposed to do or know right now aren't helping either. I feel like there's something the rest of the world knows but I don't for some reason. I don't know. I didn't think being 17 would be this confusing.
Thanks for sharing. I find your story very similar to my own. I'm a few years older than you, and if I may give you some unsolicited advice, it is; Keep good company, Put your oxygen mask on before you help anybody with their own, Always display the morals you believe in.
i think this video found me at the most perfect time in my life. i’m almost 19 and feeling about as lost as you can in life at 19. i don’t think i quite understand what my takeaways are, or if i’ll know how to use them, but i’m glad i saw this video right now in this moment.
I’m 22, just got rejected from grad school, and am realizing I’ll never live up to my dreams within my obsessive calling of choice. I think I really needed to hear this. Thanks
There is always next year. I just applied it was looking like I may not have made it into any of the schools I applied for but I squeezed one out. But even if I didn't, there is always next year. You should be proud of your self to be getting that far at 22, I'm 26 and I just applied. Things work themselves out. And the only person you need to prove anything to is yourself. Sometimes you need to prove to yourself that you fall short but that's ok. You got this.
I’m 27 and it’s sure been a rough few months. This story has me continually smiling to myself thinking of past times things were tough, and how I got through them. No doubt a future me will be smiling thinking about the lessons I learned from this crazy time. Thank you for this beautiful story; aging sure is wild.
I'm 26 going on 27. It interesting how it feels like I'm just now starting to age. Maybe the door closing of my early 20's. Arrested development? Not sure..
I have grown up watching videos on TH-cam for around 10 years and I have never commented on a video however this has touched something very deep within me. Over the years of watching the videos on this channel, I find that a lot of the things you say resonate with me, almost tickling something inside me but not much as this video. I enjoy reading and listening to people speak about their ideas but I find that the words and ideas don't stick in my mind. Your words and sentences, regardless of how shit you think they are, are so beautifully written that I cried when listening to this... and things like this don't make me cry. In times of sadness, I find myself always coming back to your video called 'And Nothing Can Ever Ruin This' and this video might have taken its place. You are a truly talented man. I keep your channel very close to my heart. Thank you so much.
I thank you for this Exurb2a. I hiked the AT in 1982? , most of it anyway. You brought it all authentically back again. It had put it up on a shelf and forgotten among the Sailboats, mountain temples, a business and family. I do now have a cabin in trackless forest where timber heals and birdsong nourishes the spirit. I will now make a point of bringing along more friends.
When my daughter climbs, i put my hand behind her, ready to catch, out of her sight because i want her to be confident. I wonder how many times in my life, did someone have their metaphorical hand ready to catch me, without my knowledge.
th-cam.com/video/cjb5zLrbMUw/w-d-xo.html&ab_channel=IMBeggar
This one really got me
I love this thought. Thank you for sharing 🖖
Actually an incredible thought
We must count ourselves lucky if we've had even one hand waiting there
This guy just wants to save the woods for himself.
@@drewrauch8929 he just wants to take down big oxygen
@@owenmsypshoutout to viagra for growing more wood than any other company
LMAO@@owenmsyp
This made me laugh pretty good
😂😂
i'm young introverted, and really starting to think the answer is a hut in the woods, even more now you've told me it isn't
I believe most answers are just about perception of the individual. So, try to look at things differently and feel some other angles of the equation that leads you to the answer of "a hut in the woods". After experiencing and thinking from different angles, the new perspective you have will be the one which can give you more solid answers that you can act upon them without much doubt.
I think its not a hut in the woods, but maybe a tent, a backpack and an adventure.
And I am a super introverted person myself, the thought of making new friends or maybe only just talking to a stranger is terrifying,
But everyone will tell you, me, that in the end its the human interactions, relationships, that mattered the most.
And maybe we shouldn't do nothing, but do everything.
Introvertion/extrovertion are not things, the answer most definitely to everything is a hut in the woods and everything else we have made was a mistake.
It is. I love my hut in the woods. Being able to be nude at anytime without the threat of public indecency, is extremely relaxing
this the one
"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."
- Albert Camus
I like this ! Ty
this is nice
and together we will walk in the ways of hashem
Not actually a Camus quote, but still a great quote nonetheless. (I think it started at Jewish summer camps)
@@schishcobob i learned it as a song in hebrew school.
The answer is a collection of little huts in the woods housing friends and family
yup, build your own little village with a farm and other stuff
That's just life without a government I'm afraid
And then overtime it grows into another metropolis😂
Ah then u set up shops and then roads to travel and then....
Agreed
„I can‘t write well“ he says and then proceeds to talk for 45 min straight not being boring for a single second of it
Well, he did have years in the woods to come up with the script.
He probably wrote it
@@beabeeadultstar1433it’s almost like this is an “audio book”
“We are our own worst critics”
-Ellen Hendriksen
*thanks google*
It wasn't exactly the type of writing he was talking about be inspired by.
The story about meeting people on the Appalachian Trail reminds me about how five year olds meet other kids in the park and immediately become best friends for the hour they're there, then leave and never see each other again. Thrown into a world we can't completely control, we act like children and become ourselves again.
This stupid comments section has gotten me all emotional. "we act like children and become ourselves again" made me tear up.
@@IceGoddessRukiasame… same 😢 we just need to stay true to ourselves and love the way we used to as kids sometimes… adults are just former children who are what they think an adult should be…at least that’s how I interpret it anyway :)
Very profound
This is so fucking beautiful, man
or travelling to a new city by yourself, suddenly knowing new somebodies, and they knowing you, more than your best friends... only to separate to your own corners of the world again, your tapestry of lives slightly richer for it. And who knows when your paths cross again.
so basically the real hut in the woods were the friends we made along the way... nice
Lollllll
Lmao, but its kinda true, like the best thing about uni was the friends i made
I love your undercurrent pfp :)
😂😂😂😂
Wtffff
"Happiness is only real when shared"
Thank you for your amazing story and introspection.
Dang, I just read Into the Wild like a week ago! Is this a sign
I think it's a load of crap. Why should you require others for your own personal happiness. What if the others are brainwashed zombies. Better no company than bad company.
For months, the youtube algorithm has been recommending this video. I ignored it probably 50 times. I guess the algorithm knows me better than I know myself because this video is incredible! So glad I finally clicked it. You are a gifted storyteller.
I love your work damn, also same.
I’m rewatching this all over bc this some epic stuff.
same for me! so happy i finaly took the time to watch this...
Scary how much it knows what we need. Loved this. Do you have a new channel? I hope so. McCandless affected me, too. I went off in a camper in my sixties. It was not for me...
Same!
I don't think he's just gifted, he's proof hard work pays off with enough ambition, dedication and insanity anybody can make their interests apart of their profession
"You just have to sit tight and wait to feel human again." That hit harder than what I was ready to take
I always hear that but the thought of waiting til death without anything changing for the better really worries me..
@@AlucardTheNecromancerwaiting, not waiting, it doesn’t matter what you do. But, you have to always be looking for it, at least. Truly, you just have to want to look.
I needed that
Yeah dude was very relatable. Wondering if homie is secretly my fbi agent or something lmfao
@@RagnardtheGreat considering he's Bri'ish...it's possible. Our federal government does love to fund foreigners even though they're supposed to be all about the USA.
“10 years passed in the way the 10 years does” - love it, this line gave me chills for some reason.
Came here to say this. Fuck.
Because you're 10 years old
Oh my Goodness, I just saw your comment when he said it. What a timing.
@@aceman0000099 😂
It was such an eerie feeling i couldnt help but give an awkward laugh
You said as a young man you wanted a masterpiece you could show to prove you’ve achieved something this truly could be it
obviously that was the idea. But lets be clear, this is not a masterpiece and I'm sure he would agree.
@@rollthetape88This may not be the one but boy, does he have masterpieces on his main chanel
@@rollthetape88 No, I think it is. I don't much care about "literary/media criticism" here, I think this is something special.
"10 years passed, in the way 10 years does" is an amazing phrase. Someone younger won't understand how that happens until it does.
Take me, someone younger
Im only 17
10 years ago is over half my life
I couldn’t imagine that going by like it’s nothing
However, I do understand how it can happen
Especially to someone older, to where life isn’t nearly as new or important or exciting, I’d imagine it’s easy to lose track of the days go by, just existing in the same patterns and feelings with only the occasional reminder like a birthday or holiday to give notion to the times passing.
It’s a scary thought, one that I’ll try not to fall into but doubtful I’ll beat it
@@NekosForever No one said anything about 10 years passing “like it’s nothing” You have to be at least 18 or maybe 80 to understand
@@georgeeliot2012 woah pal
I’ll be 18 in 2 months I doubt I’ll have some surreal understanding of the world in that time
But regardless the way I interpret “10 years pass in the way 10 years does” as meaning the years are going by quickly and like nothing almost as if it went by without even noticing
if you ever look back at your first reply in 10 years, then I think you'll understand it. I doubt I would have understood it at 17 either@@NekosForever
@@NekosForeverat face value, yeah it sounds like that. but it's the personal experiences, thoughts, dreams, interactions and events that have unfolded or washed away that you really cant convey until you experienced it. you were so busy with your life that life kinda flew by. Not that you missed any of it, but a somber realization that time is slowly not on your side any more maybe.. at least that is how it is for me.
It's both comforting and saddening to know that I am not unique in my struggles, that everything I'm feeling has been felt before, it all has an answer
Most likely something similar to what you feel has been felt before. But it hasn't been felt by you. And you are the only person to be yourself, and maybe you'll find a new answer... Living really is the only sense to being alive.
@@GlitterGremlyn There's a million paths but only few with purpose
@@Lil_T420 You define your own purpose. Maybe you have to dig for it, but it's up to you to decide.
It DOES have an answer. "Everything is totally random, came from nothing, goes to nothing, so what you got to worry about, NOTHING ! . . . so
Always Look on the Bright Side of Life".
"I can't even be unique in my struggles" - someone on the Internet somewhere.
"They hated eachother as new couples love eachother. It was an art to watch."
Precise, like Hemingway, you say
they hated each other with the same passion new couples adored each other
Great quote but i must have missed this somehow. What part of the video does he say this?
This video really helped me two years ago. It came up my feed exactly when I needed it. 2023 was the best year of my life. Hearing this story fueled the first actions that unchained a reaction of things, both good and bad, that happened that year. I never forgot the emotional connection I had with this video, even though I forgot the title. I always found it back. I never forgot the quote "Happiness is real when shared." That fueled me with love, need for adventure and courage through darkness. It was a great start of a year for the best year. Now it's January 3rd 2025, and even though I am not in the same need of this message as I was in 2023, it's still a great way to start the year rewatching this and remembering... To dare to share love, to read, to be adventurous. Thank you for this video.
please don’t delete this one, I want to come back an listen again. :)
Does he delete them? I'm kind of new here and really enjoyed this so far!
@@jumbledfox2098 no
@@kdot78thank havens
Just freaked out thinking he deletes his videos 😭 can’t lose these gems
@@Emma-fq9pv same, i would be so sad! really hope someone is archiving these just in case
As a guy that spends a lot of time watching short term videos on tiktok and instagram reels, I find it amusing that this man has managed to make a 46 minute story so interesting, that not in a single moment while watching this, did my brain consisting of fried dopamine recepters, think to wander my attention over to something else. truly an amazing storyteller
Can you recommend a similar channel with live stories and thoughts well narrated? I would be thankful
@@markvel8605 there is another called "exurb1a". Also pretty good
if you'd like that but more about maths, physics and chemistry i really recommend veritasium
@@markvel8605
@@markvel8605 I really like Curious Archive's videos, "Sympathy for the Machine" video won me over
stop watching shorts. they make you get less interested in genuinly informative long videos. you just want to skip to something else. you probably know this but stop it before its too late. your attention span and patience will thank you 🙏 just giving advice
Dude I don’t understand how you still think you’re a bad writer, your brand of emotionally honest intellect has been such an inspiration for me, the way you admit your human flaws and weaknesses while weaving beautiful landscapes made out of words soothes my soul. You put your heart into these scripts and that’s what great art is. Personally I don’t think It gets much better than an intellectual stream of consciousness. And I feel like your opinions of your writing are more a critique of your soul rather than a critique of your talent
Sad how so many artists in so many fields are their own biggest critic,
This video is beautiful and I hope he knows that
This ^
Yes it reminds me of Ben lerner the American poet and his book leaving the Atocha station.
I have read one of exurb1a's books, and was just amazing, what a writer.
He is self ruthless because he's been ruthless and the self torture makes him feel better about his prior ruthlessness. You can't pain your way into getting better. You gotta fess up and ask for forgiveness from the ones you've wronged and actually make and take responsibility for it or do good things in the wake of it. He seemingly does neither so its self torture again. Everyone has a path back but it involves amend making and seeking forgiveness and idk if he's prepared for any of that still.
This is one of the greatest video essays I have ever listened to. My husband and I listen to this video every time we are spiraling and in the midst of an existential crisis. This video always helps. Thank you
21 year old here. Its nice to get reminded that I'm, in fact, an idiot, and not feel offended by it. I'm lost, but I'm hopeful, listening to you gives me even more hope, people always write about you being "depression turtle", but I ironically always end up with some newfound energy and optimism after listening to one of your videos. Thanks
Fellow idiot 21 year old standing by
I'd like to say the same as a fellow 21 year old
I'm 21 years old as well. Feeling so lost and sad more than ever but still alive 👍. Glad I found the video.
I'm 20, currently hating myself for repeatedly not studying for University and wondering why I'm not getting anywhere. It's a bit calming to know that you're not the only one lost, but that most people are. And while you should try to get better, it's okay to not be completely fine and content and happy. I like to believe that I'm slowly coming out of a 2-3 year low in my life, maybe I'm not. Only time will tell.
97-year-old here, I concur.
It's incredible that so many people missed the message of into the wild.
The answer is multiple huts in the woods with friends.
yeah or just live in a normal house in the woods and take frequent trips to the city, not huts but like houses
Love this
My master plan is to rope my three closest friends into living off grid with me. I love the woods. I love hiking. Iove nature, even when it's rough. But I also love my friends.
@@MrKoalaburger Tad bit twisted. Hope yall don't end up like that couple.
I rather have my family and a farmhouse surrounded by both empty and fertile fields. An occasional BBQ and bonfire with a small group of people would be nice though.
Well I almost cried at the end. Even if you don't end up writing some wildly popular novel, I hope you know that your thoughts are treasured by all of us and that I'm glad you're still here and still willing to share them with us.
They really are!!!
I did cry at the end lol. This was beautiful
I hate to ruin this for you but I think it's worse if you praise him without knowing. This guy is a r*pist and an overall bad dude, please look up the evidence for yourself as I can't link to anything in a youtube comments section.
What a beautiful thing to write.
Exurb1a is deadass one of the greatest video essayists out there. It sucks that he'll always compare his success to books, because in the land of video essays he is undoubtedly at the top of the top. He already achieved success, he already did that capital "G" great thing; his video essays. They are fantastic, life-changing, and just so compelling, and they are incredibly popular. I hope one day he'll realize it, and he'll finally be able to be happy with his accomplishments.
This man’s memory and descriptive storytelling is such a gift.
"Our internal lives aren't equasions to solve, there is no master theory of us, we don't arrange things right and forever live the rest of our lives in emotional utopia. It's more a succession of little fires one has to keep putting out hopefully learning to turn that into a dance."
That and many other passages are simply poetry. I appreciate your work very, very much.
This is a very sad and closed minded quote.
Almost inherently so. That's a 2D life without nuance or depth.
This quote hit me harder than a train wreck. I almost started balling at my desk while I work on complicated pieces of machinery. I think it hits all of us so hard, not because we are all working hard to achieve something in our lives, but because it's a perfect way of putting into words something we have known. I wish someday his books will begin climbing the ranks of best sellers lists and he will be known for his writing before he dies, but sadly like so many others that perform art it might not happen. @Exurb2a, please know in your heart of hearts that you have done incredible work which will always be remembered, even if it's in the distant future, or tomorrow.
@@eugenefanboy4478On the contrary, it's an unflinching acknowledgment of nuance.
It's Socratic in that the more you learn, the more aware you become of your own ignorance. There is no master plan.
It's Stoic because to learn "the dance" of putting out the fires is to accept that pain and uncertainty are indisputable, non-negotiable parts of life while also appreciating the artfulness necessary to carve out a life worth living.
@Nateolison I still disagree. This quote is not stoic at all.
It doesn't reflect any sort of depth within these dances. It just states that the dance itself is the importance of life. That's not stoic whatsoever. You aren't painting depth within these dances, you're just accepting them, and learning to embrace them. That's not really stoic.
I don't agree with that.
The goal of life, in my eyes, is to break the dance.
To realize that there is no dance, the dance is an endless cycle of desire and pursuit.
There is, per say, an "emotional utopia" to experience. But it's not really a utopia, more of just freedom from the binds of the dance.
It's nihilistic to think that way, and it doesn't reflect the values of stoicism at all.
@@eugenefanboy4478
Oh I don't know about that. It's human and generous to the grandiose pretensions we may have about what that's about. Someone walking their own path gently punctures the Redemptive Narrative he wrote beforehand and finds life more simple and richer for doing so, surely?
You deadass cannot say you’re a bad writer when you’ve got me crying in the middle of the night while laughing at how silly my little human person problems are. You are one of the people I respect most in the world and I hope you recognized how loved you are.
+1
don't know how this found me in the middle of the night, but it came up to me exactly when I needed.
Love your writing and if you don't think your channel is already your great work of art, well then write that goddam novel, you'll never get it perfect, but in the end will realise how many people lives you've touched and how much they're thankful to you. Thank you.
you're not a human , you are it, smoke a large dose of DMT for the plot twist of existence
I've been putting off watching this for a while, but I'm glad I decided to watch it now of all times. Definitely had a lump in my throat at the end.
Dang I'm 1:49 in I love into the wild. Eddie Vedder did the soundtrack I think. I will listen to the end the comments are quite promising. I also suggest a movie called "into the void"
this is exactly how i feel 😭
I am watching this while sitting in my cabin. In the woods. In the highlands of Hawaii. I didn't come here with any delusion that I'd automatically be happy, but the real revelation, is that there is no revelation.
Haha, I had to laugh incredibly hard, when I realised this. Glad to read this.
Say that again?
Everybody takes a 💩. Sometimes it's hard to remember.
The only wisdom you find on top of a mountain is the wisdom you took up there- Alan Watts
The only hack you need to know is that, there is no hack.
Well, here was a video that came right at the moment when I needed to hear it. Your life is completely different from the way mine is going but there are so many parallels that it's comforting to know that whatever our problems are, the things we deal with are fundamentally very human. It makes me feel less alone, thank you.
i personally think this whole monologue shows you’re actually really good at writing. really enjoyed this!!
This is from Book
@@chrisandreas3142which one?
John 3:16
King James Version
16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
@DHunter_47 haha. That was a fuckin amazing punchline.
Hell yes to 46min of exurb1a, you just made my day!
exurb2a 😡
@@yungrawi llet us make babys
"Stories are just metaphysical investigations of reality with characters thrown in."
I love this.
I don't think this man realizes how much this makes me want to take a long hike now... Omg this video was enthralling, your voice is so comforting.
Right now I am incredibly disoriented from a bad sleep and bad sleep schedule, and I needed this.
Fuck this was good
As a man who’s contemplated buying land in another country several times in just the last week alone, this hit me hard. I’m not ashamed to admit that I had tears in my eyes at multiple moments
I went through a very similar situation and experienced the same feelings as you did watching this video.
Don't give up on your dream to buy land, from my experience traveling, integrating into new countries and groups and living a simpler life all benefit you a lot, it may not be as straight forward as you think it will, however
We still need to have a home and have a dwelling. Buying land is the same as buying a house, purpose wise. Buying land to escape all social problems isn’t smart but buying land to live on doesn’t really have much to do with this video to be honest.
This is brilliant!
@@coryshea856thanks I thought this was a cons of living in the woods video 😂
surprised the redcoat didnt get unexisted by the unspeakable beasts
thx for the pin
Surprised no one told him about the copperheaded bluegills.
Mate, have you ever met a northern mill town Brit? I once saw a guy headbutt a cow. We’re a strange and stupidly agressive when threatened/ drunk. The rest of the time we’re nice as anything.
@@joeydr1497 I would not advise headbutting a bison
THIS IS THE FUNNIEST COMMENT IBE READ IN YEARS
“It’s more a succession of little fires one keeps putting out, hopefully learning to turn that into a dance”. That line was too damn good you should be proud af that was beautiful
Life is a dance not a race 💘
I fucking love your stream of consciousness style of introspective writing. Keep writing. If not for you, do it for us.
The fact that you managed to keep me enthralled with a 40+ minutes story with a standing camera video in the year of our lord 2023, really tells a lot about your talent and the quality of your content. I'm so glad I found this
😂
well said
Exactly.
😂
Isn't that more about you than about him? He couldn't keep me enthralled. I barely made it to halfway through the video wondering when he was going to get to the bloody point and then just gave up. Kinda like the trail, I guess.
somehow you always post when i need it most in my life, thank you for being who you are, love you man, keep yourself safe and i hope youre doing well
Maybe you just need exurb1a all the time…
Couldn’t agree more
Brother has precog depression 💀
“Imagination is limitless.. spinal vertebras are not”😂 I loved listening to this, thank you for sharing!
😂
My only question would be: are there any non-spinal vertebrae? 🤔
Sometimes I click the like button on a video I find entertaining or funny. But the reason I click like on your videos is because of the fulfilling journey of life’s purpose packed into a single video. The strange optimism I get watching this and relating with my own existential problems makes me feel a bit more relaxed just knowing you’ve had the same experience. Hey maybe us people aren’t so different after all. Kinda funny, every video has the same like button but my appreciation for this kind of content doesn’t even compare to anything else
I've never seen your channel before and I clicked this video because I've always had a dream of living alone in the woods. I don't typically listen to podcasts or watch videos like this, I listened to this whole video and I loved it. Absolutely beautiful content.
Try his other channel too
Exactly same.
@@adamlowe1072 I didn't even know he had this channel, only ever saw the stuff on his other one. I feel like I just discovered a whole treasure trove with this new channel to dive into.
Literally same, listened to this in my lunch break from work and I am returning to work a changed woman! Beautiful! Sharing stories and experience like this makes me grateful for the internet bringing people with similar views/ideas together.
As a silly and naive 21 yo, I want to thank you for this. As "simple" as this simple story is, I found myself lost in it. You are a great writer and storyteller, and most importantly for me, you do a fantastic job at making me reflect on situations I've never found myself in.
Good luck 21. Be silly and curious, naive and humble. Stay as free as possible. Challenge yourself. Experience what you can. Read what you can. Try not to worry. Travel. Learn. Endure. And trust the process of growth.
Sincerely,
34
I’m 24. I feel like I’ve matured so much since 21, but I know in another 3 years, I’ll look back at myself today and think “wow what an absolute joke of a person”. Because that’s what life is about- constantly bettering yourself, getting wiser, reflecting on the idiocy you lived in before and (while you may miss it at times), be grateful you don’t live there anymore.
@@phoenix3992 Good luck 34. Be patient with yourself and make sure you take time to reflect on the journeys you've been on and plan for the ones yet to come. Let things go. Take nothing personal. Show your light. Keep growing and keep going.
Sincerely, 47
@@elisamontrose-roback676 Thank you Ms. Montrose. I'm fully onto that and so much more! Cultivating that divine spark. Calling found. Walking the path.
@Blue Bee Yes Blue... that's what she said... '...reflect on the journeys you've been on...'
But yes, gotta HAVE those experiences for sure.
This man just explained life in 45 minutes whilst being funny and not too serious, and ending with a beautiful poem, a work or art.
And on his "side channel for things that don't fit the main channel".
And your comment also sums the ratio to live a good life
"In the trail, there's only one context - the trail..." Just one of many poignant observations. Thank you. This was a joy to listen to... ❤
"Imagination is limitless; spinal vertebrae are not."
This is such a transferable piece of wisdom in life.
This guy is a genius! Only a writer can hate himself but casually write a masterpiece. He talked about the artist that dabbles around but “paints the Moana Lisa”. This guy is the same way. Very well written and edited video.
Too true
Moana Lisa
Man lisa
He is a rapist
You know what's funny? You think you're not a good writer but you write scripts for your videos and they turn out to not only be stunning but fucking inspiring. You portray a lot of different feelings and hold the interest of the reader, (listener in this case) very well. Each one of your videos brings a different take and view on subjects. It's a roller coaster of emotions and ideas that create a truly beautiful cocktail of art.
Thank you for everything you do. You're truly quite a special person, in your own way.
Truly. Exurb1a is already an established household name, at least in my family. My brother and I stay up to date on the latest stories, and often reflect together. I imagine, assuming a platform for it still exists by that time, that we will surely pass a love of these stories and thought experiments on to our own families one day, and so on and so forth. It's obvious enough that we will not be alone in that. As a writer, if that's not the ultimate goal, the most primordial urge (to have part of one's self carried atop the marching back of human memory even after the window of physiological existence has closed) I truly do not know what is.
Agreed!!
While I have to agree with you on everything you said, starting the comment with "you know whats funny" only to then proceed to not tell anything of jolly fun is pretty disappointing.
his work is phenomenal but just a reminder that he's a convicted rapist. you can separate the art and artist, but can't call him special.
@@MorbiusBlueBalls per-never been convicted - guy
I burst into tears at the end of this video, I feel so full of love. THANK YOU!
I clicked this video on a whim and 40 minutes of hanging on to every word later I feel so moved. This felt so much like an audiobook that after I finished I had to double check it wasn’t a reading of a published novel! Thank you for your hard work and sharing your story, I feel like I have to watch this 8 times over until it’s imprinted in my brain!!
I was literally searching in the comments to know if it wasnt an audiobook
that is exactly how i feel, thank you for putting this into words
Can confirm this is exactly how it went for me- though I didn't necessarily think it was a book already, I felt it should become one.
after the recent hbomberguy video i honestly considered multiple times if this was also ripped off somewhere. I figured not, I'd always enjoyed exurb1a's content
@@cheeziteater Exactly how I feel. If he were to publish this as a book, I'd buy it in an instant
As someone who's hiked the Pacific Crest Trail and very much desires to live in a hut in the woods at times, this video is a great way to help get you into a better mindset about everything and not setting unreasonable expectations for mental health through the wilderness. You line about not using the trees for your own agenda really struck home with me.
Fellow PCT hikers here. I've noticed since being home from the trail that the wilderness was amazing but it was really the people I was with while on trail that impacted me the most. The best part about a thru hiking for me wasn't necessarily the wilderness aspect but the vulnerability it forces everyone to have. Friendships were formed so easily and coming home I felt an immediate contrast to it.
@@attackofthelumbie9029 For me it was more a combination of things. I had great interactions with so many people but am only in contact with 1 person after the trail, never building too much in the way of lasting friendships. A bad situation with another hiker kind of put a damper on a lot of it. Ultimately what kept me going was the sense of adventure, having a simple goal in mind every day, and joy that can come from relative depravity. I'm hoping to do more long distance hiking though and am keeping an open mind to forming stronger relationships with fellow hikers.
I'm hiking the PCT in a little over a month; this is excellent perspective.
How long did it take to hike it?
@@apeugnius a little over 5 months
My guy, this sounds like an audiobook. By that I mean to say this video is extremely well crafted, you're a true writer.
It lays in "a good writer knows he's a bad writer"
From one writer to another: your words kick ass. Your time in the woods was totally worth it, just for this. For me, a 46 year-old mother, there is no greater happiness than days alone in a cabin in the woods. Definitely don't need anyone present to feel the most exquisite happiness of solitude.
Oh god damn, thank you ever so much - hey, huge luck on your mothering adventure and thank you so, so much for sitting through my nonsense.
40:36 That line about cats really hit me. My elderly cat turns 16 this year and she got into a fight with an extremely large bengal cat in December 2022 (she was a runt and is only a little larger than your average chihuahua). She, as you said, completely shut down and we were unaware why until we found the wounds on her neck. One got infected and after 2 vet visits and lots of sleeping on laps, she fully recovered and was full of life once more. I'm glad she has become so much more affectionate, not that she never was before, but she comes to find me after university and sleeps in my lap while I sit in my desk chair and use my computer. I think that bengal encounter has made her realise we are here to help her, and when her time comes, she'll pass in my lap instead of somewhere alone - at least thats what I hope.
I think you're onto something.
When my grandmother died, among other things, we inherited her cat. We brought it over to our house, and it immediately bolted to hide under a table in the basement. If you tried to reach in to pet it and reassure it, you'd get swiped at.
I wanted to pet the damn cat. So I tucked in my fingers, reach in, and got swiped at.
But when it got it's claws in my skin, I dragged it out by that and held it in my lap and petted it until it started purring and knew I wasn't there to hurt it. Repeat process until cat gets used to it's new surroundings.
So when it got old and fat and started to die, it came into my room to lay down.
I listened to the entire video, surprised at myself for having somehow not cried, and this comment is what did it. Thank you.
thanks
Ah yes. Because if your cat doesn’t want your love, obviously the best choice is to just force it on them until they learn to appreciate it - the ol snuggle struggle technique.
Hello,
Cat update - she is still doing well, eats lots, drinks lots, cuddles lots, annoys my mother lots and begs for attention or to be let outside so she can sit in the sun now it's summer.
I also come back to this video on the off chance lots, it resonates even further now that I'm 20. After quite a significant set of changes in my life since I made this comment - broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years (he was a dick but so was I), fell in love, travelled outside the country myself for the first time ever, met online friends in person for the first time (hope you're well Odd Future 5). I travel frequently alone now. The world is good, I've done so many new things, it was cool to be remade at the beginning of my 20s, everything happened just as I turned 20, the month of my birthday.
End of January beginning of February 2024 was such a revolting time for me, and by the middle February, things were still bad in a lot of ways, but I physically felt myself progress. Then March came, April, May, June and now July, and it's ok.
It'll be 5 months since I started dating my partner next week, and they bought colours to my world I didn't know existed - they are my world and enrich everything in it. They make me proud, loved, joyous and encourage my goodness, my creativity and my love for the universe and all it's cool shit. They helped me see the type of love and experiences I thought were only possible in film, television and books are real. I love you J, see you Space Cowboy x
I see myself moving, travelling, doing everything. I'll try not to get stuck in a stupor, I'm so young and I feel I should use my privilege of being young and well to do something, anything and everything.
If you've made it to the end, thanks, watch Upsilon Dies Backwards, it's one of my favourite videos by ol' xurb. Remember, "If the little grey cells are not exercised, they grow the rust." - Hercule Poirot.
~ J.va
This is my favorite existential crisis channel on TH-cam no doubt. Love it! You're an amazing storyteller. I laughed few times, i teared up too.
I thru-hiked the Appalachian trail in 2017. It took 133 days, 130 of which were full of rainstorms and inclement weather. Every day was a new heap of bodily pain and the hardships of nature, but they were the most peaceful and enjoyable few months of my life. It propelled me on to several more excursions into wildernesses across the world and I am now an avid outdoorsman. If removing ones self from society and eloping into nature is not the answer, I agree it is certainly a catalyst that will show you where your priorities lie.
I personally find that my mind needs to be fed a hearty diet of stimulus and context with which to build inner beauty before it is possible to enjoy sitting alone at home in dark room. I think the moral of this guy's story is that the journey IS necessary, but it hardly matters what exactly it is. It just requires that you lay eyes on (and at least partially comprehend) some of the absurd beauty and complexity this world has to offer, and never forget it. You do need inspiration, but not for any one purpose. If you run out, it's time to go find more
Some trips both mentally and outwardly are meant to be had. Both propell us forward.
The unpleasant truth is that modern society is an exhausting, confusing, chaotic, needlessly stressful, uninspiring, bizarre, and often petty place to reside. Just consider the constant deluge of information thrown at the modern mind. How is it to cope? No surprise that excursions into the wild act as a reset button. The lone cabin in the woods is a fantasy. We're social and tribal creatures. Our roots have simply dried up through technological evolution. Maybe the answer is to occasionally go out and water yourself.
All things in moderation. Spending a few months out there will do wonders for your body and mind, but living there indefinitely will make you go insane or at the very least make the cons more apparent.. Humans are social creatures. No matter how bad society is, there's a reason why we aren't still hunter gatherers. This lifestyle makes sense to us because it offers a different way of living. Striking a balance between both helps many because it reminds them of their own lives, introduces challenges and quenches the thirst for purpose.. Going to the extreme in either direction will always bring problems.
My dad and I did it bit by bit over 20 years - about 100 miles a year
Thank you for making my day 🥰 Laughter and wisdom in a box, delivered to me early in the morning, in a video that just showed up on my feed. It was like a bright sunshine in a spring day, in ‘nature’. I loved every second of it ♥️
As someone who took off on a very long hike too, the west coast version of the Appalachian trail, PCT. I was the most authentic and human version of myself out there , after 6 months when I finished it to my great surprise, I still didn’t want to return to the world. But when I came back I also found beauty being around others, to write with a pen, paint, read, decorate a space, land in the same place each night. I miss the wilderness everyday, but I know I am not for returning, the people are more beautiful to me now. It is my most cherished adventure. Thank you for this video, it helped me process that lingering yearning for the journey.
Ever since my family went out west and I saw the beautiful mountain oasi and desert canyons, I have wanted to hike the pct. I'm curious: How did you make it work? Did you take time off from work or school, how did you plan your meals, and how did you afford it? I would love to hike the pct; it's my dream. But I'm about to be 18 and about to go to college. How do people make these grand adventures work? How do you do it?
@@LiterallyaFacePalm if you were impressed by the desert, your mind will be blown by the Sierra Nevadas and the entire state of Washington and kings canyon and all the waterfalls in Oregon!! I went to school for two years and became a PTA so I could get a job right away and have little debt. Only owned a cheap used car, I worked two jobs for a year and lived in a cheap rented bedroom and saved as much money as possible and took off only one weekend a month from work so I could save enough and pay off my college debt. I chose not to go out with friends or travel to save up. Then I quit my jobs, got rid of my place and went straight to the pct. I had only ever backpacked one night by myself before I did the thru haha. People thought I was nuts to work that hard but it was truly my passion, everyday for 2 years I dreamed of my adventure and I was willing to sacrifice whatever it took because my heart longed for this hike. Was the hardest, most beautiful, life changing thing I have ever done. My only sadness is struggling to find anything after trail that can ever compare to the freedom I felt. On trail I had a mini stroke 3 weeks in and had to get helicoptered to a hospital, I started having panic attacks for the first time after the stroke and a fall I took down a steep mountain side, I have scars on my legs from falling on my knees with my legs giving out from under me because I was so exhausted, I almost got heat exhaustion, I nearly gave in the hypothermia, 100 miles to the finish I broke my toe, at the beginning it would take me two hours to fall asleep because when I finally laid down my whole body would spasm and cramp and I would shiver because I was only able to eat 500 calories a day at the start, I had massive blisters all over my feet, water was scarce at some points…and all of it, every minute, was absolutely worth it. Through all the struggles I promised myself I would crawl to the end of if I had too (the end then got closed because of a fire) but I made it as far as they would let me. I saw two 19 year olds out there on a tight budget so it is possible! Don’t feel like you need the most modern/light/expensive gear (do get a garmin in reach) don’t stay in hotels often, don’t hitch hike into towns alone, don’t try and keep up with anyone out there. The older you are it only gets harder to go because you get more stuff, more responsibilities. Durston gear has some great lightweight tents for way cheaper, ULA ohm 2.0 or circuit are great backpacks, get a high quality sleeping bag/pad to stay warm, learn a lot about shoes before you go (injini makes toe socks that did help my blisters, but not much really stopped them except leukotape p slapped on them). Watch Dixie’s trail documentary, Darwin on the trail and others for inspiration!!! This is my path, they are so many types of people out there with many stories!
@@hikeoverheels5429 Wow! That's an insane level of dedication. It sounds like it was truly worth it, though. My plan right now is to take a month off from work and school every summer and to hike a quarter of the trail! Hopefully, in 4 years, I will have seen the whole trail! I've been dreaming of the PCT since I visited Yosemite, and even more since I went backpacking out in New Mexico.
@@LiterallyaFacePalm best of luck my friend! Keep the dream alive!
@@hikeoverheels5429 Thanks, you're awesome! Your story has inspired me even more!
The way you describe your 20's rings true to to my own
Also, as someone who works in hospice, I can tell you that when you spend a lot of time around people that are 99 years old it starts to put ones own age into perspective.
32 feels young when you are around a Centenarian
I just want to say, thank you for doing such an emotionally exhausting job. Please take care of yourself and don't get burned out.
@@SuLokify Thank you for such a kindhearted comment
@@ThorPalsson Hospice was great to some of my family members. They made them remain comfortable and the whole process as painless as it could be.
How could I not say thanks to anyone doing such a difficult but necessary service?
@@SuLokify Glad to hear that your family members got quality care at the end
Completely stumbled upon this video by accident but holy moly did I need it.... I didn't even realize how much I needed it until you started talking about that desire, that need to be lost in the woods, alone... And maybe all of us at some point should say "fuck it" and go do something spontaneous that we aren't ready for, because that's the spice of life if you think about it... I've been - lets say - wallowing in my own depression, suffering from a lack of purpose and direction while simultaneously having everything I could ask for. A roof over my head, 3 square meals a day, a loving family that supports and cares for me, a career that pays my bills and lets me enjoy hobbies I've always wanted to pursue... Yet. There are still days that I cant get out of my own head, days where it feels like I can't do anything right and my whole life will come tumbling down around me. Days where I wish I could run off into the wilderness and never be heard from again. But I know that won't fix my problems, my own desire of self preservation would drive me back to the "real world" soon enough only to be met by all the things I selfishly abandoned, which have now grown to unfixable proportions and thus manifested in my greatest fear of ruining my own life over my own selfishness... Anyway. No one will read this but I guess what I'm trying to say is exactly the message this video is trying to convey, that I'm very lucky, and I should be thankful for the little things in my life and strive for bigger and better but running away off into the woods - as appealing as it sounds on shitty days at the office - will not magically fix my life or my mental health, only I can do that. I'm sure none of this made any sense but after 3 beers and a little self reflection, it feels good to get (whatever this is) off of my chest. Thank you.... From: A random American from Minnesota.
What you said totally made sense.
I think the key message you didn't mention is that you shouldn't run away community. Friends and family were always the important things. Even when he ran away, connection with others is what mattered the most. Take time to yourself when needed, sure. But open yourself to others and you will feel more free. Cultivate relationships like plants in your garden and they will grow. I hope you find more inner peace, stranger.
you are not alone in this fight my friend
The men yearn for the cabin in the woods
Hey, I get it exactly. If it helps at all, As you get older some wisdom kicks in and you start to see yourself as part of the world, part of your place in it and that weirdly helps put some of our despair into perspective. Good luck, friend, from a person in Illinois. (these winters don't help!)
One of my friends had recommended this video to me months back when we were just sitting by a campfire talking about life. I never gave it much thought until tonight when I had been struggling with some schoolwork and for some reason it just popped back up. I'm an aspiring writer and it is crazy to me that you explained and experienced the same struggle I have been having the past few years. I have so many ideas for stories and that has come with so much self-doubt in my ability to create anything. The few times I would sit down to write there would be nothing that would come out. I never knew why, and it was starting to break me since creative writing is my life and my subject of study. It felt as if who I am was slipping away with each passing day that I couldn't write. Just today the motivation to write has started to trickle back into my mind each time I sit down at my desk, and I feel like I am alive again. I can't express how thankful I am for your video. It gave me a reason and an explanation as to why my brain would just shut off every few months right when I thought I was just getting going with my stories. I wish you the best with any future endeavors you have, and I will always return to this video in those dark times in between those illusive creative episodes.
I’m 20 currently, confused as fuck studying at uni. I’ve always loved your creative story telling but sometimes these quirky little stories mean more to mean than I could know. You seem to tackle the phenomenon of being lost quite a bit, but this story was very grounded and human. Something about listening to this while going to my part time in the morning made me feel some type of way. Your stories always stick with me, or at least some part of me, thank you :)
looks like were in similar spots, this story was eye opening for me. hope all is well with you. lets all of us keep getting lost in the good ways.
Aye bro read a book called inventing Elliot by Graham Gardner. It's not going to give you any answers but it might get you asking useful questions.
At 28 the best advice I can give you is don't get drunk about it. Especially if you're sad or pissed off and never alone. I wasted so much time on that and then I wasted more time being bummed out about the time I wasted.
Get into something physical, boxing is always good even if you don't like fighting, it'll get/keep you fit and build confidence. Nobody has ever said "I wish I didn't learn how to block a punch"
Messing with electronics is great too. I build my own electric skateboards and bikes. Scooters ain't worth the effort trust me. Fucks your back up and can't carry half as much as a bike or go as many places unless you wanna drop 2k.
Also taught myself glassblowing at your age, gonna get back into that when I have a shed to put a kiln in.
Airbrushing is fun and relatively cheap and you can make some real pretty stuff without much "talent" and some freaking amazing stuff if you put the work in.
We don't have any more purpose in life than what we give ourselves. Look after yourself, look after your day ones but don't take shit from them either. Keep your head up and keep moving forward and you'll be alright man.
This isn't me, I feel better knowing that my life is in better shape than his was at the same age
Why are you confused? You aren't doing what you want? I was lucky to realize everything was BS while a child, so I never fell for the lies of the 'system.'
I only went to college when I knew exactly what I wanted to do; I act with absolute certainty in all my actions. If you are confused, take a step back and figure out what you actually want to do is, and then do it. No doubt, no hesitation
@@pyropulseIXXI are you trolling or is this your genuine advice?
I think you wrote something really profound here, and you're an excellent narrator. Thank you for speaking to the restlessness a lot of us feel, I'm just as guilty about fantasizing scenarios that would "fix me" and this story really is grounding!
I love to come and watch this video every few months, whenever I feel like doing so. It's always refreshing, I always take something new off of it. I guess this comment is my way of saying thank you, for actually being a really good writer.
(I read The Fifth Science like 4 months ago and it's changed my life, thank you)
I whole-heartedly believe this is one of the powerful and unique perspectives I've ever heard. Never once during this video was I bored, and I am struck with the depth that comes with only 46 minutes. I have no doubt I will re-watch this video several times in the next few decades.
Likely to be lost in the mountains of comments, but your video is the one I use for grounding. When I'm spiraling about my purpose, my life, what I want do, who I want to be, where I want to go. You have my deepest and continous gratitude.
Thank you *ever* so much for sitting through it in the first place. Massive love
@@exurb2a114 This is either my 3rd or 4th watch through I believe, since it came out. It's got its own playlist and I've got it downloaded just in case lol. It really feels like a long hike through the woods, a meandering narrative that tells the stories of the surroundings, the lessons learned. If anything, I think you're a brilliant writer and deserve all kudos, even with just this.
This must be like my tenth time
This has to be my second or third. This one and “The Rememberer” are just absolutely amazing.
This one and the video of a woman talking to many versions of her husband in parallel universes are my favorite videos.
There has never been a better title more perfect and more eloquent than yours- “ the answer is not a hut in the woods” those few words reached out from the endless abyss of words and told me I must stop what I’m doing and listen to what this person has to say. I’m so glad they did, because that was exactly what I needed to hear and it found me exactly where I could be found. Thanks.
I feel like when I saw this title it was from god directly to me
@accelerationquanta5816 ding ding ding. somebody has read history!
Pretentious
This video left me feeling a type of relief and clarity that I haven’t felt in years. Thank you. You have impacted my life in a very positive way today
Being depressed, it's really hard for me to stay focused on a single thing without doing anything ekse for a long time. But I clicked on this video, and started to listen... Then, 46:25 minutes later, I find myself writing this comment. You managed to hook me, and I'm not even a native English speaker. Your words did resonate deeply within me ! Reading the others comments, I guess we all agree that you're anything but a bad writer ! Your storytelling was so fluid and sincere, thanks for sharing it with us
Non-native English speakers on their way to create the most coherent sentences in English:
I have a much better and real solution that doesn't involve useless new age claptrap. That is to GET OUT OF AMERICA. Go to a HAPPIER FREER country like the Philippines or Thailand or Cambodia or Latin America, etc. America is unfriendly, toxic, antisocial, misanthropic, etc. Everything there brings you down. When you leave America a huge burden is lifted off your shoulder. You feel freer, better, less isolated, no social anxiety etc. Because people abroad have REAL SOULS you can connect with and are not soulless like in America. There is no ice wall between strangers in most other countries too so you can connect with people and DATE as many women as you want. ZERO social anxiety or isolation. And LOWER cost of living. What more can you ask for?! In the Philippines I have unlimited dating, sex, girls, romance, fun, freedom, etc. And much lower cost of living too. What more could you ask for?! Going to SE Asia is a true paradise. When you experience all this you will kick yourself for not leaving America sooner! That's the REAL SOLUTION. No BS. But most people won't tell you about it because it's taboo to talk about this for some reason. If you see my podcasts you will learn more about why my solution WORKS and has no BS cliches that are useless like other TH-cam videos do.
I relate to everything you said, and I'm not a native english speaker either, although I mostly consume content in english, this video is amazing, this is what I pay youtube premium for
You got this, hang in there, thinks will always get better!
Is that really how long this was? I did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen and fed my plants some stinky compost water while I listened to it. I'm not usually that productive. It was a bit magical wasn't it?
i dont know what to call you (parasocial relationships are weird), but i just wanted to say that the work you have published on your channels over the years has evoked emotions & introduced philosophies that are just as if not more powerful than almost any book, or movie, or documentary, or conversation ive ever had with anyone else.
we all go through those cycles of sadness & anxiety, thinking we arent good enough or haven't done enough good to justify our lives, so id like to just say now for if you ever have future doubts: your work has changed me for the better, and im sure it has changed many others too. that is something you should be immensely proud of, and im not sure theres any greater goal you could look to achieve in your life
Same here. I still remember when "10,000 More Years of the Scientific Method" came out, as I was just starting university in the engineering field, it pumped me up and fed my hunger of wanting to understand how the world works. The "long" videos of condensed uncountable hours of thought, maybe intentional, maybe just because the ceiling was looking particularly nice that day. The humour, so on part with mine, love it. The constant cycle of existential crises that I also go through and that I usually want to share and bond over with other people in my physical space but can't because somehow everyone knows who they are and it's almost like only I ponder about this stuff.
So yeah, parasocial relationships are weird man.
This is a perfect summary of my own thoughts. Thank you both. For a better mind now and tomorrow.
Just be aware that he manipulated and raped a girl. All the info is publicly online.
I hold very similar sentiments
@@CeliaTyree hi,
so as far as i know, this sa case that you mentioned is just an accusation. its a very serious accusation, but i do believe its important to uphold "innocent until proven guilty".
ive looked into the evidence & it seems like the victim, who was quite mentally unstable, accuses exurbia of conducting a prolonged experiment on her in which he makes things called "synchronisations" (which is the thing where 2 things that are connected happen closely together, leading you to think it was "fate". eg: when you think of a certain thing, a certain song starts playing on the radio, which is connected to the thing youre thinking about).
the victim claims that in 2016, exurbia repeatedly fabricated synchronisations around her as some sort of experiment, to the point where she became extremely mentally unwell & delirious. she then took a large amount of medication, was sa'd by him & hospitalized, then sa'd again after exiting hospital.
the only evidence behind this claim, afaik, is a voice mail in which exurbia mentions how synchronisations are very intruiging to him & might be explainable by science. but that is it. i couldnt find any actual evidence pertaining to the sa apart from accusations.
the claim of sa was eventually filed 8 months after she exited hospital (allegedly as a result of poor police procedure), which was late 2017.
3 years later, a dutch journalist investigated the story & some dutch articles were written on the topic.
then, around a year ago, a youtuber made a video on the topic discussing everything.
since then, i couldnt find any new evidence that has been released or developments on the case.
please feel free fill me in if ive missed anything important. but right now, i think it is much wiser to handle this situation as an accusation which has not been neither confirmed nor denied & nothing more, and let the authorities handle it if necessary
I'm a 33 year old artist and performer. My life just got shaken up in a major way following a pretty nasty breakup. I had all my presumed purpose ripped away from me in the span of a few days. This video came across my recommended feed right around the time I was thinking, "what if I just live in a hut in the woods?" I am incredibly grateful for you sharing your story here. It spoke to me in exactly the way I needed it to at exactly the time in which I needed to hear it. Truly profound insight here, thank you.
I lost my fiance which was my whole purpose, it's been around 8 months and I don't know what to do. I'm only 21. I was with her since I was 14.
@@masonkent9468 I'm sure you get this a lot, I certainly did when I was your age. You're young. You bounce back, I promise. But you have to keep trying. Your options are to try to make every day a little better, or don't. If I could go back to being 21 again, I would seize every opportunity I could. And I certainly wouldn't have spent so much of my twenties moping around wishing things were different. Just get to living. Some days are easier, some days are harder. That's life. You either flow with it or let it wash you away. That's your call to make.
@@masonkent9468 Sorry to hear that... Your story continues. Best of luck! Stay patient and keep it moving. You're a character in the novel.
@@thomthornhill it's hard where I live. There is under 3,000 people in my town. Covid ended high school early and college. I'm going to college next semester tho luckily.
And all my old friends are gone bc my ex has bpd and she trash talks me and says I was the abusive one. She abused me for 6 years, so it's hard. Destroyed my mental health. I have bipolar, it was ok before I met her, but my mental health just kept declining while I was with her. Luckily it's getting better but it's hard. She also got me addicted to drugs and got me into drug dealing and I went to jail for a month and a half and that's when she left me, when at my lowest after all she did to me. I kept doing drugs with her because it made her less abusive and when she was abusive it made me not care.
@@masonkent9468 Sounds to me like you got out of something you really needed to get out of. Take care of yourself, do things you enjoy, and don't try to bury your bad feelings. Bad feelings are there to teach us, to help us grow. If you spend all your time avoiding those feelings and thoughts or trying to cover them up, they end up getting repressed and slowly building up over time. It's a long, difficult process, but know that this internet stranger is rooting for you. You got this. 💪
I'm 17min in, and you're grasp of english and use of discription and pauses proves that you are indeed a writer and an excellent one at that.
I turned 22 years old 2 hours ago. I was scared going into this video. From the title alone, I was sure I was about to have the shit called out of me. I was scared, but it felt so serendipitous that this message arrived to me in the first hours of my 22nd birthday that I had no choice but to listen. Of course, instead of the judgement I was offering myself, I got a beautiful insight into the human experience, growing up, and "purpose". I am not the biggest believer in fate, but I am deeply grateful for this coincidence nonetheless.
Ps: Just yesterday, I recommended your channel to my younger sister (she is a lot like young you, an artist at heart, struggling to find her path and feeling like she could never amount to something Great. She is already Great in my eyes
I'm turning 22 years old in 9 hours and 50 minutes. And I feel much like you do. I think and hope that those "coincidences" of finding the straightforward answers where and when you least expect them never stop.
Happy birthday!!!💜
@@almarc very happy day of birth 🗣️📢
you should try Wwoofing like he says at 3:00, I did it for 6 months last year it was great :)
Come back on your 30th lol
when you started talking about how we don't desire things, we desire desire, and how friendships were really real and genuine really fast but without expectations, I just got tingles all over and I got filled with a feeling I haven't felt in a long time. I haven't done any long hikes like that, but I was homeless quite often in my teens. A lot of people think homelessness is the worst thing that could happen to you - for me it was one of the best. It was fucking heartwrenching and messy and tragic and dangerous lots of the time, sure. But dear god, I hope I never forget the joy of scavenging a handful of cigarettes and panhandling a plastic bag of three (!!!) oreos, coming back to the youth shelter and getting two friends so you can each have an oreo and a cigarette, because it was just too lucky not to share. When I went to sleep, in an alley or a shelter, I never knew if I'd wake up the next day. I was using hard drugs and had frequent lung infections, and if I was sleeping outdoors it was even more risky. And yet I have never slept so soundly. Maybe that's just from the exhaustion of carrying everything you own, but hey. Any bed was cloud nine. My relationships were so much more meaningful - the homeless people in my city were like a big family (not that they all liked each other, but so it is with most families), and those people cared for me more than most of my blood family had. But without a sense of owing or being owed. And my real, like, inner-circle "street family" - I've never had relationships like that before and sometimes I fear I never will again. Our world wasn't fair. Sometimes 14 year olds got killed or OD'd and died. You never knew who it'd be next - but someone would be next. And that's some really fucked up stress for teenagers to live under, but fuck, it totally changed me for the better. You realize what matters. You realize that death doesn't discriminate, and that alone means most differences are pretty inconsequential. You become more forgiving, you realize that most people's lives are fucked in ways you can't even imagine, and they're probably trying their best. But if you really do have a problem with something, you speak up more willingly. And most of all, a lesson I wished I hadn't learned the hard way, if you love someone, for fucks sake, just tell them. Yeah, maybe it is awkward, but tomorrow they might be dead, or you might be, and you might spend the rest of your life wishing you'd just said it. Anyway, yeah, it really is the simple things
I’m hoping you’re in a better place now. What a childhood to go through, wow. Thank you for sharing the wisdom you earned.
@@nicolehart4595 ahah yeah it was a trip. I'm mostly alright these days xx thanks!
@@alexpender6317 I hope you truly are. I realised reading your comment that it doesn’t even matter to me how or why you were in that situation, but I felt I was there with you, and the how or why didn’t fucking matter at the end of the day when you had to lay down to sleep in the “civilised” outdoors. Bless you for taking the time to share. I learnt more from this comment than I have in many years of talking to … well, anyone really .
@@danielvaega awh hey that means a lot to me honestly xx thanks man!
Incredible. I hope you write
Haven't finished the video yet, but i just wanted to say that Geometry for Ocelots was so unlike anything i've ever read and so incredibly impressive that after a year or two i still haven't fully processed it. Among other heavy feelings it awoke an emotion of spacey lonliness that i just cannot describe and i'm still building up the courage to reread it. Truly something special...
this! same for the fifth science
The three or four books of his that I own all fall into this category... Only author that I have bought all the book I could get in print. (I dont care for kindle).
is there a real story or is it more about the philosophical ideas?
There is a story
@@yungrawi there’s an unpredictable, vaste yet microscopic, emotional yet scientific, beautiful story that ties it all together.
Very inspiring video. Makes me want to enjoy books, opera, the outdoors, stranger’s company and more. I’m a very lost young adult but it’s people such as yourself that share your experience and offer opinions that make all the difference.
What a beautifully written story, I couldn’t stop listening. I’ve got a feeling that someday I’ll go on my own adventure to the cabin in the woods, but I’ll keep your wisdom in mind.
Don't do it someday, do it on a specific day. Set a goal and work toward it. If you wait for someday it will never come.
@@denisl2760 I don't think it's a goal. It's just a thing they feel might happen in the future...
It's so surreal because I'm in my early 20's and want a similar sort of escapism in the wilderness. Over breaks in college, I would usually pack up my car and go drive far off and camp in the mountains somewhere for weeks on end. I've always felt at peace just walking up these mountains and far away from everyone. It would help clear my head about my career, expartner, drama, family, or whatever. I've felt this need to go on this grand adventure before I settle down with the degree I get when I graduate but I have no idea where to start. Some of my friends who have already graduated have been talking about buying a plot of land and living off of it for a year or so. Another part of me just wants to do my own thing. I still have no idea but we'll see where it goes.
Thanks for the insight, space turtle
As someone who actually lives in a cabin the woods l feel l must give two words of warning.
1 chores.
2 country folk.
wat would you eat
I'm in my last year of uni. I'm planning on disappearing into the wilderness of Spain for a few months after I graduate. Just walking, camping, vibing. The thought of doing this is the only thing keeping me going at this point.
@@blahbleh5671 What you forage and or catch.
@@SofaKingShit What was with the County folk?
I'm going to be completley honest, this is one of the best videos i've ever seen, heard or experienced. It gives me the hint of "a perfect life is a life with many troubles, even though it doesn't seem like it" its truly beautiful to see how upside-down we think of what a good life seems like.
spot on !
I guess he wrote the thing he wanted to write after all that time.
Can you provide a too long didn't watch summary to what this video is about?
@@clouds-rb9xt sure !! So basically he talks about a time (10 years ago) when he experienced one of those sad but i don't know why moments. So he went imto nature to clear his mind becouse "he wasn't made for this world" but eventually he realises that the best part of trying to be alone in nature was a middle aged woman he met. Which means he wasn't really looking for being alone. The story is also about him thinking he can't write good things and being a mess (he writes some really good things). I understand you maybe don't have time to watch the video but if you get a chance PLEASE DO. I watched it 5 times
same
Genuinely the best video I’ve watched on TH-cam in my 10+ years on here, this will be my anthem for the next while.
Once I was a closeted introvert, but turned 'normal' due to harsh events and hard places. I watched this and I cried, sobbed, and wept. I am so utterly incredibly stupidly lucky I have done some of the things you mentioned subconsciously, and that i have very few, but also very loving friends. I will add hiking into my bucket list. I will continue looking for new friends and taking care of my existing friends.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for inspiring me.
The paradigm of 'introvert' and 'extrovert' are arbitrary and made up. I've literally had no contact with people for 3 months, just total self isolation, meditation, and self improvement. I taught myself languages, musical instruments, math, philosophy etc.
I can also go into any social situation and be charismatic as fuck and have everyone genuinely liking me; I can be the life of the party whenever I please, or just sit an observe
Once someone puts a label on themselves, they start acting that way
@@pyropulseIXXI you are literally goals 😩
@Blue Bee Not really. Humans are a social species, and they need eachother to survive. Who makes your clothes? Who farms, processes and ships your food? Who built the house or apartment that you shut yourself away from the world inside? I say this even as quite a cynical person, you won't like everyone, but some kind of company is important. Isolation is terrible for the human psyche & you can't experience the world through a computer screen.
You have no idea how much this video has helped me. My parents are going through divorce and I quit my job and feel aimless and full of pain. I wanted so bad to just walk off and disappear into the woods like in the movie you mentioned. To escape and "find myself" but you reminded me that my pain is just change that I will eventually get used to and move on. So from the bottom of my heart thank you.
Ow buddy ! Don t get used to pain ,, breath it out until it passes and melts away 🧘♂️
@@rwolr8oupa669 I meant getting used to the change but I see your point and agree 👍
hope you start feelin better soon!
I don’t typically comment on videos but this one moved me in a way that I don’t know if I have been before at such a deep level. Seriously beautiful and has changed my entire perspective on life. It sounds goofy but this really is special. One of my favorite works of art I’ve ever come across
Are you a theist?
@@gorb_oron honestly not sure
@@Jkuts11 so like agnostic? Sorry if this is really random lol
@@gorb_oron at this point I think so lmao I’ve been theistic before just not rn. Just curious why
@@Jkuts11 that’s fair I’m pretty agnostic myself. What made you lose faith?
That was legitimately one of the best readings I have ever listened to. Such a great level of wit and conciseness. This is one of those rare 45 minute videos that I just listen to with distraction or interruption and the time has flown by. You are such a great writer and I’m very interested to check out your other work. Extremely good! 👍 📖😊
You know. This video made me realize something I feel like I should have realized so much earlier. I've also always had a call to run off and take a road trip or a long hike or otherwise just go to a new area where I don't know anyone. I thought it was because I craved the solitude and wanted to be alone. I think what I really craved this whole time was the experience of meeting new, like-minded people. Making friends. Experiencing new things WITH other people. Out of everything in your stories of travel, the things I connected the most with and the things that made me the happiest were the genuine and kind interactions you had with others. I don't want solitude. I want the wisdom imparted by others simply because they come from vastly different walks of life. I want to have conversations and learn about people without having to worry about bad intentions. This cleared a lot of things up in my mind, and was incredibly well put. Thank you.
Plz don't mind my words or take to your heart. I don't intend to hurt you at all but in my humble opinion I feel like you can never get what you need from people unless you cherish solitude and have it in your life in good amounts. When we are attached to people, their experiences, their situations and what not, we become a part of them and they become a part of us. Unfortunately in today's world and just from the beginning of time we are bound to run into some bad apples even though there's much wisdom to gain from them as well.
You can be alone and happy but still think about other's well being, cook something for them, take care of them without them being entitled to your service or act of kindness. People will use different sayings, philosophy and whatever piece of knowledge to justify why solitude is wrong and family/people is everything. But we are stuck with them most of times for social reasons. Ofc we need to survive in groups but can we really not survive on our own? Imo we can and we can still love people and have faith in them. Without sacrificing a part of ourselves which we might not be taking care of or don't care about enough to know that it was actually really precious to be sacrificed away for some people. We need self love and respect so that we can give back in different yet simple ways. It's a slow process and lifelong process but being with groups makes things faster and easier for our lazy and cruel selves.
Love for people, their experiences and everything comes from the depths of heart if that same heart knows how to love themselves. You will leave alone (when there's drama or negativity) and be with them when they need someone without any expectations or responsibility.
In the end solitude is precious and shouldn't be underestimated like this. People are of all different types and everything will keep changing whether nicely or badly. You just need to be there for yourself without expecting anyone to be there for you. If someone is there then you can welcome wholeheartedly. It's like the universe rewards you for keeping your record clean and working hard enough to be a better person (whatever that looks like to you)
World's problems are not your individual problems and no one likes someone who deviates from the norms. We need to be brave enough to leave those expectations that slowly kills us in many ways directly or indirectly. Don't you think this can be also a great way to live. Social interactions will always exist in many ways no matter what happens. A 20 something youth living in a big city alone leaving behind the dramatic people in his life for a new start and suffering from consequences of these people will always interact with people for several necessities. It doesn't makes him rude or bad or very individualistic. He's changing his life and environment. That's a part of his becoming a better person process.
I still respect what you said and 😅sorry for writing so much of the stuff. Thanks for reading. Have a nice day. Good luck!🤗
I thought I craved for the solitude too :(
It would have been an easier solution to run off alone for my problems, rather than finding people.
I totally have come to that same conclusion recently. I thought I wanted to be alone where no one knows me, but what I want is to meet new people and have new experiences. I think I’m searching for my place to belong too.
"I want to have conversations and learn about people without having to worry about bad intentions." - beautifully said, I was bullied during most of my childhood and I've spent so much time blaming myself for it "I was weird, I was different" and it's taught me to be cautious with people, don't give them fuel, be infallible. It's exhausting and is the only real reason I'm introverted. The hardest thing for me now as an adult is separating what was and what is. Unteaching myself these lessons. I'm not responsible for how other people act towards me. I am not responsible for how they feel, I am not responsible for what they do. A lot easier said than done but I hope writing this comment convinces me that I need to go out and explore socially, that what I need isn't more solitude, a clean room, cold showers and meditation but rather genuine connection. I just don't want the risk of hurting like before.
And I've learned that you do meet people, a friend or two, that are perfect, that do understand life exactly the way you do, and you revel in their friendship until one day they exit your life and you wonder "why" and then time goes by and you forget and go on alone, very happy in solitude. Yeah, you think, I'm OK. That's life. And set about creating another artwork which you know is genius, but you think in terms of "oh I guess I can do a little art". Meanwhile, you are damn glad that you like being with yourself and the answer never lies with other people. It's you all along. 🙂 The end.
This really resonated with me. I had a partner who had a similar idea about going into the world and trying to find himself. But the more I talked to him about why he wanted to do that, the more I realized that the answers he was looking for were right in front of him, blurry and unfocused because of how close he was looking at them. You miss the forest for looking too closely at the leaves
I tried to explain that it felt more like he was running from himself instead of running to something. That life can just be life, and there is happiness in the little things (I went through my own similar crisis after I lost my drive for an art career)
But it wasn't the answer he wanted to hear...
We split after a while because I wanted a quiet life at home with friends and a family, and he wanted to be alone. I loved him dearly and desperately during that time, what little time it was. This video reminded me of how much of this has to be understood alone, and you can't love someone into reading the answers of their life
Mike, if you're reading this, I hope you find yourself again...and please don't eat random mushrooms
“please don’t eat random mushrooms” 🤣
@@Elel765 Let's all just ignore this guy ^^^^^
Okay I get your point but is it not arrogant to assume you have the answers to someone else's problems? If it were that easy, he would have found it out himself. I'm more like your boyfriend and want to leave where I am right now but other than you, I don't have family and friends to keep me here even though I put effort in trying to find community. Please be aware that community doesn't come easy for everyone and I can imagine that that might have been a driving force for your ex. People are not meant to be lonely so they find ways to cope.
@@Shirumoon Hey there, just thought I'd chime in as I'm in between the two: I very much crave going away to maybe a hut in the woods, but I also have friends. Good friends that I know love me very much. Yet I still feel alone a lot. I don't think it's arrogant to assume that you know the answerd to someone else's problems. Of course they won't all work and be the right answers, but I believe that usually, for most people, the answer isn't to be alone. The answer may be to be temporary alone, and for a few people it may be for a longer time. But overall I believe that it is human to want to belong. The only problem is finding people that you feel like you belong with. And to get there, maybe being alone is the answer for now. Because how can you know who you belong to without first getting to know yourself.
I just today returned from a trip to the woods. It was just one night sleeping in a hammock under a tarp, realizing how easy it is to get that alone time, that made me feel like I've gotten closer to what I want. The issue is that I'm back home and I cannot, for the life of me bring myself to reach out to my friends and ask if they would like to hang out. The problem here isn't my community, it's me. And I believe that there will be many more nights alone or with a temporary love interest in the woods (and hopefully lots of productive therapy sessions), before I will not only know, but also feel that my friends are the answer. But first I need to become friends with myself again.
@@gingershadow6837 That was an incredibly beautiful response. Cheers
It's been years since I've watched one of your videos and yet, somehow, when I need a lesson like this the most you get recommended to me
I seriously cannot explain the inner peace your videos bring me, and even if you don't know it you've helped me so many times that I'd really be lost without you
"We don't arrange things right and forever live the rest of our lives in emotional utopia. It's more a succession of little fires one has to keep putting out, hopefully learning to turn that into a dance." DAMN I needed to hear that. Thank you so much for how you shared this story and your wise words :)
just wanted to say, this video actually helped me get through a really bad panic attack. your storytelling is incredibly immersive and allowed me to focus on the story and not my anxiety. amazing video! thank you!
Gay
I escaped to Yellowstone for a summer, one of those people who seemingly spawn in to work in the restaurants or general stores. I worked about five days a week but was constantly surrounded by the beauty of it all, finding myself becoming that of an extrovert in which I am not. It took me 20 years to realize that the problem I had with myself wasn't with myself, but rather those around me who traipsed and trampled any sense of identity in which I maybe had. This video had been reccommended to me shortly after my return to that same scenario, and I scoffed upon reading the title. I /had/ just successfully found several answers after escaping to the woods so, give me a little credit. After listening, I understand your points and would have to agree with you on them. It truly is amazing how quickly people can bond with one another when you're not faced with conflict of society or the burden of time. Thank you for verbalizing these concepts and adding more to think about.
One of the worst parts of being an introvert, neurodivergent, etc... is that you're simply not designed for generic society.
As he said, you eventually learn to "fake an illusion of being outgoing". But that generic form of "socializing" will always feel insincere and unsatisfactory.
We're just not made for it. I always come out of those types of interactions tired and annoyed. And I think part of it stems from the fact that you everything just feels so insincere and fake.
It feels like some childish game where everyone pretends that they're better than the other person, or where everyone is just trying to impress the other person.
But, as you mentioned, it seems like out in the wilderness people are just more real and honest. Those are the types of interactions I wish I had more often.
It's difficult to explain. I just hate how the universal advice everyone gives introverts is always "go to parties" or "just make more small talk" and other superficial "advice" of the same sort. You don't need to pretend to be an extrovert. Hang out with other introverts and weirdos and nerds and weebs, that's your tribe, they'll understand you.
Annoying title for an otherwise great video. I also avoided it for a while haha
This was beautiful. You are a gifted storyteller. Never stop doing this.
Having already listened enraptured to Exurbia's works before, it was funny to hear him describe his younger self despairing at not being able to match the standards of Thoreau or Austen, instead only imitating them and hating himself for doing so.
Well, it was only because he was imitating their medium. I daresay ol' Henry and Jane would've felt just as hopeless were they to have been born after him, trying to attain-yet-not-imitate _his_ style in a TH-cam video like this.
The thing about the Greats of established mediums is that usually, they were great because of what _new_ things they brought to the table, not because they were simply imitating what already came before themselves. There was often something so new, raw, risky, and dynamic about their work that they made an indelible mark, which many of them never got to even reap the rewards of because there hadn't been enough time for their "cream" to settle to the top of the massive barrel of same-y imitators. This is how art does.
Someday, in the future, the TH-cam era will be a thing of the past. And those who were most impacted by such long-form video essays as Exurbia's will naturally have memories of what/who impacted them most, and those old creators with the most deep and widespread impact will naturally be the most remembered. The "Greats" of this format _will_ be remembered, even if not today. And I believe Exurbia is,and will be, one of them.
@@SomeTH-camTraveler amazing comment
"its odd to be sad at something you cant even explain to another human" is amazing words.
we all trip forward if we cant already run. that or something alive in pain and or outside the game?
lol anyway, thank you, I actually typed a lot but decided to delete it, dont worry it was only related to the first sentence. I learned from the venting, and do believe you deserve more subs.
letting go to see a new. Best of luck exurb2a
edit; I only just started the video, expectedly knew it would be good, your writing about farm number 1 and other writers / creative writing in general has thi satisfied thus far, I shall let you go until next time, now continue.
This is one of the most beautiful stories I have ever listened to. Well done.
In a world where shorts bairly keep my attention, you captured it for almost an hour.
As I was getting hypnotized by your words and interesting stories and thoughts, I was taken aback when you mentioned Bulgaria. I'm a Bulgarian and I'm surprised how someone like you who seems to have travelled quite a bit and spent so much time in the woods somehow found his way in Bulgaria and even feeling it as your true home. It's surprising when so many Bulgarians are trying to run away from here...
Literally same, I had to re listen to that part to make sure I didn’t mishear.
I’m American and so is my dad who lived in Bulgaria for two years when he was in his 20’s. He still talks about it almost every day and I can tell he really cherished his time there and wants to go back someday. I’m hoping to go soon as well so I’ll have to see but I think there’s something really special about your country that some people there might just take for granted.
I think it's similar to Lithuania. My Soul feels so at home in Lithuania due to the nature and food and natural medicines and a sort of reverence by some of the mythology we have - but living there financially is really hard atm, and as a woman can be challenging if you're in areas where there men of an older generation (or if alcoholism is rampant). I would LOVE to live there if it weren't for the finances and remnants of the soviet regime. I am really looking forward to travelling around the country and learning natural medicines, about nature, etc, but not too sure if I could live for any big part of my Life. I imagine I might end up living there again but probably not for 2 years at a time.
As someone said its not going away that the discovery is but returning
We never leave
I’m 17 right now and terrified of the world ahead and about my “purpose” or my lack of one. I lost my dad around two years ago and he was a strange person, an amazing, kind, intelligent, but nevertheless strange individual. I don’t know why but your voice, even though sounds nothing like his, reminds me of him. I think it’s the way that you put your words together, or just how similar some of your phrases were. Thank you.
(Edit: and to everyone replying to me just giving some of their story or sharing some wisdom, thank you so much it matters so much more than you might think
I’m also seventeen and I can really relate to your initial statement deeply. Here’s some advice:
Start doing mindfulness(or transcendental meditation) daily.
Start doing the Wim Hof method with cold showers and then gradually implement ice baths.
I suggest purchasing a steel(or stainless steel, or copper even) ‘sadhu board’. Start by doing the Wim hof method, and then start by standing on the board evenly with your entire bodyweight. Best held for around 15-20 minutes to begin with. After a period of time, I suggest doing push ups on said board.
If it’s possible, eat a natural, healthy and organic diet; Bereft of anything artificial, processed or unhealthy.
Start doing martial arts or combat training; I recommend Krav Maga above all, or alternatively a combination of Muay Thai and BJJ.
Spend more time pursuing your own passions, I recommend reading much on: literature, philosophy and psychology. Furthermore, whatever interests you.
If you are terrorised of the world ahead, I strongly recommend reading all of Robert Greene’s books. They gave me very useful skills(Albeit Machiavellian in nature; on which note I’m probably a high functioning factor one psychopath-not the kind that likes killing people for reference sake, and Machiavellian.)
Read, read and read; Maybe write too. If not, make time for a different form of expression e.g a form of art like charcoal drawing, painting, poetry…whatever it may be.
Develop immense discipline. It’s difficult when you’re uncertain about where you may be headed, but I suggest honing your knowledge, skills and abilities so that you can pursue whatever path you please when you know where it is that you seek to go.
Lastly, this is probably a bit escoteric but become a prodigy in something, well-interesting. I used to think that seventeen was too late(due to much lost time because of being chronically ill etc). Then I realised that there’s no time pressure on anything beyond society which is just a large group of individuals who live like livestock but nonetheless. A bit oddly f*cking specific from me, however salvage what you will. I hope you find yourself and live a meaningful life(however you come to define it). Farewell.
May not help but stop trying to find a purpose, it will find you. Me for example found a purpose just from watching a random recommended yt video after watching a restoration of a bread knife. A whole new world opened up to me in the form of watchmaking. I didn't find it, it found me. Basically get out there and explore otherwise it might never find you.
Same. I don't know why but the world just seems so big and so loud nowadays. My lack of purpose and indecisiveness in terms of what I'm supposed to do or know right now aren't helping either. I feel like there's something the rest of the world knows but I don't for some reason. I don't know. I didn't think being 17 would be this confusing.
its gonna get worse before it gets better, u got this bro just keep going no matter what !
Thanks for sharing. I find your story very similar to my own. I'm a few years older than you, and if I may give you some unsolicited advice, it is;
Keep good company,
Put your oxygen mask on before you help anybody with their own,
Always display the morals you believe in.
i think this video found me at the most perfect time in my life. i’m almost 19 and feeling about as lost as you can in life at 19. i don’t think i quite understand what my takeaways are, or if i’ll know how to use them, but i’m glad i saw this video right now in this moment.
I’m 22, just got rejected from grad school, and am realizing I’ll never live up to my dreams within my obsessive calling of choice. I think I really needed to hear this. Thanks
hang in there ❤️
What are your dreams?
There is always next year. I just applied it was looking like I may not have made it into any of the schools I applied for but I squeezed one out.
But even if I didn't, there is always next year. You should be proud of your self to be getting that far at 22, I'm 26 and I just applied.
Things work themselves out. And the only person you need to prove anything to is yourself. Sometimes you need to prove to yourself that you fall short but that's ok.
You got this.
Boo hoo
@@Kneejair Bru why are you an ass. You clearly didn't listen to the video.
I’m 27 and it’s sure been a rough few months. This story has me continually smiling to myself thinking of past times things were tough, and how I got through them. No doubt a future me will be smiling thinking about the lessons I learned from this crazy time. Thank you for this beautiful story; aging sure is wild.
I'm 26 going on 27. It interesting how it feels like I'm just now starting to age. Maybe the door closing of my early 20's. Arrested development? Not sure..
I have grown up watching videos on TH-cam for around 10 years and I have never commented on a video however this has touched something very deep within me. Over the years of watching the videos on this channel, I find that a lot of the things you say resonate with me, almost tickling something inside me but not much as this video. I enjoy reading and listening to people speak about their ideas but I find that the words and ideas don't stick in my mind. Your words and sentences, regardless of how shit you think they are, are so beautifully written that I cried when listening to this... and things like this don't make me cry. In times of sadness, I find myself always coming back to your video called 'And Nothing Can Ever Ruin This' and this video might have taken its place.
You are a truly talented man. I keep your channel very close to my heart. Thank you so much.
@@Elel765 Thet didnt kill the cringe part of themselves, they killed what cringes.
The accent probably helped too come on lolol 😂
I thank you for this Exurb2a. I hiked the AT in 1982? , most of it anyway. You brought it all authentically back again. It had put it up on a shelf and forgotten among the Sailboats, mountain temples, a business and family.
I do now have a cabin in trackless forest where timber heals and birdsong nourishes the spirit.
I will now make a point of bringing along more friends.