You're correct. My dumb ass gave my friends second chances and I got betrayed so quick with audacity. I wish I could redo my life and had been more selective
I feel like we all need friends as someone with no friends. We need balance. I don't think we need a bunch of friends because that's where a lot of drama happens.
This is spot on truly. We live in an age of parasocial relationships which leads people to feel entitled to knowing everything about you! I'm back to gatekeeping
@@harrisre-nee3017 thank you 😌 people set themselves up for failure . I take people at face value……… I dont wait and “hope” they’ll change. They are who they show me they are and I will move right along if it’s not in alignment with my expectations. Simple
@@Yourlevelupguru Periodt! 👏🏿 I even take it a step further and vet the people that my prospective friends hang with! You are who you hang around!🤸🏿♀️✨
Yes, that’s so important. Time is an important factor to this. People will rush things, share too much too soon yet not know this person on a truly deep level because they haven’t had time to assess their actions yet. What they tell you is one thing, how they back that up with action and their consistent behavior is another. And that can only be observed through the passage of time. Unfortunately people can still lie and switch things up on you, but that’s another matter entirely.
Heavy on the LONELINESS. It was a rude awakening for me. My phone stays dry, but guess what ? I’m at peace. I’m enjoying my solitude and getting to know myself & heal. In doing this I’ll be equipped to attract the people that are aligned with me ❤
I remember a wag said this on a reality tv show years ago & people got mad at her for vetting people 😂 I’ll never understand allowing everyone in your space that makes no sense to me
lol i vet everyone and its a very extensive process. I taught my family and now everyone is peaceful because we’re not dealing with anyone’s nonsense or disrespectful behaviors.
Great video. If a guy starts to shot out questions as if he is starting to interview, i dont explain myself i just leave. I dont answer the question. Im offended and i remove myself. He is the one that is supposed to charm me and not treat me as if he is evaluating me if I am good enough.Facts r he is not good enough which he just proved.
Too many questions is unsettling to me. Who are you and what do u want? Why are u so interested in me? Why are you so friendly? Get away from me. Whatever sick agenda you have will not fly. I’m not friendly sir
You won't believe i was in an arranged marriage setup. The guy was good looking, tall and extremely wealthy. But when i met him apart from family, one to one, the meeting that should've lasted 10 minutes lastes 40. He was asking all sorts of questions. It was so off putting as he wanted to meet again and I didnt want to keep answering his line of questions. Note that I am really pretty and wealthy too. So, I said no to my mom in the car. I just couldn't deal with his weird energy. That was in January. In april and june he sent me friend request on facebook and linkedin. Idk what he wants. I'm not interested since Day One.
This is a very important message. I have also learned the hard way at a hostile workplace that the “nicest” people are also people you should be wary of. I feel like no one or rarely anyone is “nice” for no reason. The other lesson is don’t put trust or believe your toxic family member will change how they perceive you.
Yeah, you need to vet friendships that cannot give what you are giving in return. it's so painful when you realize that the ones you've been friends with can only acknowledge your light and have access to it, but cannot be that when you are vulnerable, when you are in need of them to be a friend.
Most people have no boundaries or selectivity. So they will despise you because you do. I’m selective and no I’m not friendly. I’m cautious and selective. If that bothers you , move around
You are just more evolved than others around. Be proud of not being so desperate for company. I am fulfilled on my own and my happiness irritates their need to belong. Stay strong!
Black women are not supposed to be giving anything. Only receiving as far as society goes... our ancestors gave enough. There’s nothing to give. Preserve your energy and ascend. There’s nothing to give. Preserve yourself and give yourself to the deserving. Dont involve yourself in the craziness of the world 🌎. Black women should ONLY be resting. The current fights are not our fights, stay out of it. We fought to simply exist. There’s nothing that should be concerning us besides resting, preservation , and self mastery.
They gotta pass a remedial test so you can determine whether you're equally yoked cz think about it in every aspect in life you get vetted via tests, background checks, credit runs, exams, interviews etc. So apply this to all areas of life
You can only vet people under 28 yo. Over 28, just look at their lives: their achievements, their past and present relationships, their drive, ambition, attachment style. That will tell you everything you need to know.
Also, their looks, their pot bellies, poor quality of skin and hair, their basic hygiene, their complaints about the weather, economy, their victim mindset, their lifestyle diseases, that should also give a very good hint at the quality of people they are..
28 is too young say 35. 28 is when people go through quarter life crisis. When you in your 30’s you have probably got out of a toxic relationship or still in one. Under 28 people are still in school getting into their first relationship having kids for the first time you still doing many firsts. You’re a full adult when you become 35-40. Anything under 28 is a young adult they don’t know who they are or what they want in life yet. I’m 35 and only now I have a concrete vision of what I want and where I want to be.
Saving this video to always come back to. Idk why parents have stopped this type of wisdom to their children, but i learned these lessons way too late. Thanks!❤
Listen you always have to discern people’s spirits and what they’re about I’ve been doing this since my mid twenties and it’s so helpful. You can’t trust everyone especially as we women are the weaker vessel hence why we go off of emotion!
I like what you said but I don't agree with women being the weaker vessel. Our strength is in our emotions and intuition, we aren't supposed to allow our emotions to make us weak but use them as our navigation system to show us how certain things make us feel. Men created the idea that women are weaker, just my two cents❤
I agree... nature itself is slow and steady. Over time and trust is the only way. You don't have to be an open book upon meeting someone, it gives inauthentic and thirsty energy. Anything worthwhile is worth waiting for ❤
Finally some real talk! I hear so many creators talking about how they aren’t gatekeeping on social media, so does that mean you just spew everything to random people you just met? Oversharing often puts people in vulnerable situations to be taken advantage of.
It's true, I've let in people I thought weren't that bad into my life and they walked all over me 🥲 Red flags are everything and I think it's important for everyone to distinguish what are red flags in friendships and dating to THEM because it seems like everything can be a red flag these days lol. Intuition is so important, go into yourself to find the answers, go into yourself for wise council, it will never steer you wrong. Some people just vibrate higher, other people can see that and they start demanding your time, your attention, your peace, its a no for me. I am the judge and jury when it comes to who's allowed in my life. That is a power everyone has, know your own power🌺
It's better to be alone than in the wrong company. WORD. This is how I move, and people often say that I need to have friends, but I know I don't. Too many horror stories being around the wrong people.
I recognise your voice from TikTok because I follow you on TikTok so glad to find you over here on TH-cam. Thanks for all the value of information that you are sharing with us really appreciate it and really glad I found you on TH-cam. Take care.
I have a friend I no longer associate with; she slept with my sister's husband. She clipped my elderly cousin, and my son's father was involved with another female, and it was her cousin she never told me. I have to stay away from for I end up in trouble.
Yeah girl 6:33 you’re telling my store. I had to get rid of almost all of my so called family due to this vibration. I’m doing new social media blocks as we speak 🗣️
I have an ex-bf who used to take it personal that his best friend is my first cousin and I didn't really mess with him because of toxicity. He tried to make me feel bad for it but I didn't and still don't!
❤Thank you for this, my aunt use to share this type of wisdom with me but she passed away when I was young. If I knew how important vetting was I would have saved myself from a lot of hurricanes. Thanks
My best friend completely ghosted me a couple of months ago and now copies everything I do on her content creation journey. It’s like she used what I thought was an authentic friendship to just collect notes on me to get what she needed to try and propel herself forward. Never again will I just openly share the info I worked hard to learn through my own personal trial and error.
Many people think vetting is rejecting them. You not letting them in fast enough angers them. They remove themselves or shut you out. I had a girl I met in graduate school do this to me. I really liked her cos she was smart but I wasn’t sharing my life with her only school stuff cos I was vetting her. She got mad. Whatever girl whatever
I guess men will be in there feelings too. I’ve had plenty of guys immediately ask me to be their girlfriend. Sometimes our emotions aren’t bad, we are good at intuition, even when we don’t have facts.
People think that instantly bonding with someone is best and is proof of a great relationship/friendship to come, it's not!!! Taking the time to know someone is best. We want consistency, not chemistry. I've personally experienced this because the people that you get to know gradually becomes the people that you want in your life later on.
I don’t think the reason is because women are just emotional & desperate.. it’s actually because no one knows how to vet, we learn how to date from everyone around us and you can’t do something you don’t know & was never taught, you’re just doing the way that’s normal and the only way you can manage to figure out.
My problem was allowing my gift to see the multiple potentials within people i.e. the best version of that person not yet reached or perhaps catching a glimmer of it on them in one setting or another but never fully embodied & integrated by the person. .the issue was I never gave them a chance to show which version they'd rather be in totality; in contrast, I realized I had given them more time to strategize which version they needed to be in correspondence with who I was so that they can linger around me. . Seeing the potential good in people doesn't mean to ignore their malicious masks nor test the redness of the flags thrown by my better knowing. I was beyond ready to receive this message right here that you dropped; like a post-commentary of a lifetime movie that I not so long ago finally fought & slashed my way out of. Thanks, Honor, Respect & Gratitude to me, as well to you ❤🥂💐🧘🏽♀️⚔️🫡
pleased to have discovered you I went over to Spotify and listen to every single one of your podcast while doing self improvement things at home. You make many valid and thoughtful points
I have no friends,i had alot of faje friends,and God showed me them,i was so broken, because i invested so much into those friendships,i believe they were Real,but now I i have heaked,I am so happy and at peace ,now you have to earned my friendship,and i allowing God to help me,your video are so inspiring,thank you.
My objective now is to be able to afford a therapist 1 times a week. Once i do, i don't need a bestie, then i want to start saving for my retirement plans people are evil i have had bad experiences with them i have decided to really really take time to vent people
I would love it if you could create videos on exactly how to vet potential friends and partners. What are some key questions or things to look for? I love your content! Thanks for keeping the sisterhood informed and elevated! 👏👏
I'm even careful with having new friends over to my house. I need to be friends with a person for awhile before we move to the level of having them come over, or me going over to their place.
I disagree with the stated reason for women's failure to propetly vet. It's not based on emotion, its more likely they have not been taught this skill, have not defined friendship, and how it should present. Yes, a person may trauma bond which is emotionally toxic but you do that when there is lack of awareness and you havent posed the right questions to yourself or the other person. Just a thought, ✌🏽💚
Ladies, everyone has red flags. Take care of yourselves, but don't take things so serious all the time. Kickback, have fun. Don't vet yourself into loneliness. Don't gate keep yourself into a fortress, were a cat is your best friend❤
Can’t relate. Having the wrong person around us can cause us our lives or mental health. Both are detrimental and the later can cause life-long trauma. Vetting is a survival skill at this point.
@@NomadicIslanders Yes this is true. All I'm saying is have discernment, not paranoia, and one must be sure to vet themselves as well, because when a person has one finger pointed at another person, they'll have ten fingers pointing at them, concerning red flags and vetting
It doesnt take time, it takes the self esteem to be honest with yourself after a hard day and an amazing date. Asking yourself do i feel good or was he rude and dismissive of that shop clerk or waiter, insensitive to that issue that means a lot to me? Do i want to be around him because life lately has been one long day or because being with him is genuinely better than being alone? If anything time can make you forget those first signs of someone you might one day hate.
On the contrary... women prove to see and prepare for generations ahead in nurturing, teaching, feeding and socialising their children for generations...so we cannot say women are generally near sighted! That simply isn't true and Human society is evidence of this!
@@Yourlevelupguru a lot of parents don't care. A lot of women choose the wrong men either they just wanted money or they just wanted the hot guy or the kid was there to try to keep the guy around or whatever. Also the guys who would teach the daughters well are generally guys women don't like cuz they're possesive and protective so if she bought into feminism she's gonna think he's suffocating. In every case I've seen the woman wasn't attracted to the kind of men who would make the best fathers. I think in the near future the women who have daughters who have a chance of success are gonna be the ones who completely shed patriarchal standards for men at a young age and select more exclusively for character traits and integrity. A lot of women feel pressured by society to seek the guys who look good on paper, pretty face, tall, a pushover etc and money. She's gonna have to go grass roots and look primarily for the things that make good fathers, not enablers but like actual good fathers. Every time I see some generic feminist wonder why all men are bad to her there's a guy like me staying far away, and if she does see me she's gonna make excuses on why I'm not good enough until she needs a bail out after all the major disqualifies and life mistakes have been made by her. Guys with spine don't accept slop in their women.
I have no friends rn and I’m not even bothered anymore. Friendships give me ptsd now because I was naive thinking everyone is your friend
I just don’t have the time to invest into that
You're correct. My dumb ass gave my friends second chances and I got betrayed so quick with audacity. I wish I could redo my life and had been more selective
Same sis heavy on the PTSD part!
I feel like we all need friends as someone with no friends. We need balance. I don't think we need a bunch of friends because that's where a lot of drama happens.
@@JordanDTright I’ve come to accept it but it’s sad 4sure
"Relationships are gradual..." Exactly. You are on point with this video.
So true if someone says your secretive stay that way my grandmother was say don’t tell everyone everything about you let them tell you about them.
💯
This is spot on truly. We live in an age of parasocial relationships which leads people to feel entitled to knowing everything about you! I'm back to gatekeeping
Exactly!!!! So many people will label me negatively because I’m cautious. LOL. It’s our job to protect ourselves after God
@@Yourlevelupguru right! And I’ve noticed a plateau in my elevation when I wasn’t gatekeeping and vetting other people!
"I don't need to see how red the flag gets." Brilliantly stated! ✨
@@harrisre-nee3017 thank you 😌 people set themselves up for failure . I take people at face value……… I dont wait and “hope” they’ll change. They are who they show me they are and I will move right along if it’s not in alignment with my expectations. Simple
@@Yourlevelupguru Periodt! 👏🏿 I even take it a step further and vet the people that my prospective friends hang with! You are who you hang around!🤸🏿♀️✨
Yup do not be desperate for friends or relationships. I learned that the hard way, some friendships really messed me up not just relationships
Walking alone is hard, but sometimes the SAFEST
We must vet someone over time! We cannot allow ppl to enter our life without vetting!
Yes, that’s so important. Time is an important factor to this. People will rush things, share too much too soon yet not know this person on a truly deep level because they haven’t had time to assess their actions yet. What they tell you is one thing, how they back that up with action and their consistent behavior is another. And that can only be observed through the passage of time. Unfortunately people can still lie and switch things up on you, but that’s another matter entirely.
Yes, that’s a fact for real.
Heavy on the LONELINESS. It was a rude awakening for me. My phone stays dry, but guess what ? I’m at peace. I’m enjoying my solitude and getting to know myself & heal. In doing this I’ll be equipped to attract the people that are aligned with me ❤
I remember a wag said this on a reality tv show years ago & people got mad at her for vetting people 😂 I’ll never understand allowing everyone in your space that makes no sense to me
lol i vet everyone and its a very extensive process. I taught my family and now everyone is peaceful because we’re not dealing with anyone’s nonsense or disrespectful behaviors.
Yes people prey on vulnerabilities and when it comes to dating being more mysterious is actually more attractive and intriguing
Great video. If a guy starts to shot out questions as if he is starting to interview, i dont explain myself i just leave. I dont answer the question. Im offended and i remove myself. He is the one that is supposed to charm me and not treat me as if he is evaluating me if I am good enough.Facts r he is not good enough which he just proved.
Too many questions is unsettling to me. Who are you and what do u want? Why are u so interested in me? Why are you so friendly? Get away from me. Whatever sick agenda you have will not fly. I’m not friendly sir
You won't believe i was in an arranged marriage setup. The guy was good looking, tall and extremely wealthy. But when i met him apart from family, one to one, the meeting that should've lasted 10 minutes lastes 40. He was asking all sorts of questions. It was so off putting as he wanted to meet again and I didnt want to keep answering his line of questions. Note that I am really pretty and wealthy too. So, I said no to my mom in the car. I just couldn't deal with his weird energy. That was in January. In april and june he sent me friend request on facebook and linkedin. Idk what he wants. I'm not interested since Day One.
@@anonymousbee-Don’t connect but simply let him know that you don’t find chemistry with him ( that’s my personality response).
Girl this conversation right here…. Was on TIME! Took till I was 35 till I stopped oversharing.
Try 41 🙄🤦🏾♀️ Better late than never, though lol! 😅🙌🏾
Try 40!! I’ve learned some hard lessons
This is a very important message. I have also learned the hard way at a hostile workplace that the “nicest” people are also people you should be wary of. I feel like no one or rarely anyone is “nice” for no reason.
The other lesson is don’t put trust or believe your toxic family member will change how they perceive you.
Amen!
Needed to hear this. People only change when they HAVE to
I agree with you...don't open up too quickly. There's no advantage to doing that.
Yeah, you need to vet friendships that cannot give what you are giving in return. it's so painful when you realize that the ones you've been friends with can only acknowledge your light and have access to it, but cannot be that when you are vulnerable, when you are in need of them to be a friend.
Beware of sharing certain things with mothers too. Some go around telling your business.
I’ve always said this. But it annoys people and people say that I think that I’m too good for anyone
Most people have no boundaries or selectivity. So they will despise you because you do. I’m selective and no I’m not friendly. I’m cautious and selective. If that bothers you , move around
You are just more evolved than others around. Be proud of not being so desperate for company. I am fulfilled on my own and my happiness irritates their need to belong. Stay strong!
@@annstewart8506 ❤️
Literally accidentally clicked, but I’m sat.
Thankyou for this. The its lonely at the top is EXACTLY the phase im currently occupying at the moment....the solitude is refreshing
Same, I feel isolated at times! The peace and sweet dreams I have are worth it.
Wow Yes I thought I was the only one that felt this way I say this all the time to Black women especially we need to preserve our culture
Black women are not supposed to be giving anything. Only receiving as far as society goes... our ancestors gave enough. There’s nothing to give. Preserve your energy and ascend. There’s nothing to give. Preserve yourself and give yourself to the deserving.
Dont involve yourself in the craziness of the world 🌎. Black women should ONLY be resting. The current fights are not our fights, stay out of it. We fought to simply exist. There’s nothing that should be concerning us besides resting, preservation , and self mastery.
@@Yourlevelupguruokayyyyy! Preach👍
They gotta pass a remedial test so you can determine whether you're equally yoked cz think about it in every aspect in life you get vetted via tests, background checks, credit runs, exams, interviews etc. So apply this to all areas of life
You can only vet people under 28 yo. Over 28, just look at their lives: their achievements, their past and present relationships, their drive, ambition, attachment style. That will tell you everything you need to know.
Huh??🤔 That IS vetting lol! A big part of it…
Also, their looks, their pot bellies, poor quality of skin and hair, their basic hygiene, their complaints about the weather, economy, their victim mindset, their lifestyle diseases, that should also give a very good hint at the quality of people they are..
28 is too young say 35. 28 is when people go through quarter life crisis. When you in your 30’s you have probably got out of a toxic relationship or still in one. Under 28 people are still in school getting into their first relationship having kids for the first time you still doing many firsts. You’re a full adult when you become 35-40. Anything under 28 is a young adult they don’t know who they are or what they want in life yet. I’m 35 and only now I have a concrete vision of what I want and where I want to be.
How you came up with that number 😂
Yes!!! Cut off access! Very important! Many gems here.
Saving this video to always come back to. Idk why parents have stopped this type of wisdom to their children, but i learned these lessons way too late. Thanks!❤
Same here!
Listen you always have to discern people’s spirits and what they’re about I’ve been doing this since my mid twenties and it’s so helpful. You can’t trust everyone especially as we women are the weaker vessel hence why we go off of emotion!
You’ve been misled. We are the stronger vessel, god knows this hence why he made us subservient to men to keep our power in check.
You are the weaker vessel because that is your belief.
I like what you said but I don't agree with women being the weaker vessel. Our strength is in our emotions and intuition, we aren't supposed to allow our emotions to make us weak but use them as our navigation system to show us how certain things make us feel. Men created the idea that women are weaker, just my two cents❤
We are weak, we are the strongest that is why we are emotional
Divine timing. Thank you sis ❤ God is so good.
Learning to love being along catapulted me into being this way.. I have absolutely no problem doing things solo!
I agree... nature itself is slow and steady.
Over time and trust is the only way. You don't have to be an open book upon meeting someone, it gives inauthentic and thirsty energy.
Anything worthwhile is worth waiting for ❤
Finally some real talk! I hear so many creators talking about how they aren’t gatekeeping on social media, so does that mean you just spew everything to random people you just met? Oversharing often puts people in vulnerable situations to be taken advantage of.
It's true, I've let in people I thought weren't that bad into my life and they walked all over me 🥲
Red flags are everything and I think it's important for everyone to distinguish what are red flags in friendships and dating to THEM because it seems like everything can be a red flag these days lol.
Intuition is so important, go into yourself to find the answers, go into yourself for wise council, it will never steer you wrong.
Some people just vibrate higher, other people can see that and they start demanding your time, your attention, your peace, its a no for me.
I am the judge and jury when it comes to who's allowed in my life. That is a power everyone has, know your own power🌺
For you what do you consider red flags
It's better to be alone than in the wrong company. WORD. This is how I move, and people often say that I need to have friends, but I know I don't. Too many horror stories being around the wrong people.
I recognise your voice from TikTok because I follow you on TikTok so glad to find you over here on TH-cam. Thanks for all the value of information that you are sharing with us really appreciate it and really glad I found you on TH-cam. Take care.
Thank you ❤❤❤❤❤❤ also follow my podcast on Spotify 🎉
I have a friend I no longer associate with; she slept with my sister's husband. She clipped my elderly cousin, and my son's father was involved with another female, and it was her cousin she never told me. I have to stay away from for I end up in trouble.
Yeah girl 6:33 you’re telling my store. I had to get rid of almost all of my so called family due to this vibration. I’m doing new social media blocks as we speak 🗣️
I don’t speak to my family. Best decision I ever made.
This is pure TRUTH💯
I have an ex-bf who used to take it personal that his best friend is my first cousin and I didn't really mess with him because of toxicity. He tried to make me feel bad for it but I didn't and still don't!
Yesss, the quality over quantity is a huge miss for too many.!
High quality content 👌🏽
❤Thank you for this, my aunt use to share this type of wisdom with me but she passed away when I was young. If I knew how important vetting was I would have saved myself from a lot of hurricanes. Thanks
My best friend completely ghosted me a couple of months ago and now copies everything I do on her content creation journey. It’s like she used what I thought was an authentic friendship to just collect notes on me to get what she needed to try and propel herself forward. Never again will I just openly share the info I worked hard to learn through my own personal trial and error.
I've enjoyed this. I wished I would have kept this mindset, made so many mistakes in relationships
Many people think vetting is rejecting them. You not letting them in fast enough angers them. They remove themselves or shut you out.
I had a girl I met in graduate school do this to me. I really liked her cos she was smart but I wasn’t sharing my life with her only school stuff cos I was vetting her. She got mad. Whatever girl whatever
Yes this they get angry when u don’t let them in fast enough
thank u for being the big sister I never had
Pre-qualify like buying a home. You want this? You need to show you are really ready.
I just had this conversation with my bestie.
I guess men will be in there feelings too. I’ve had plenty of guys immediately ask me to be their girlfriend. Sometimes our emotions aren’t bad, we are good at intuition, even when we don’t have facts.
Such great information, I love you perspective
I love this video, truth all the way. Only now im understanding this on my own then this video was sent to me to cement it even more. Thank you
People think that instantly bonding with someone is best and is proof of a great relationship/friendship to come, it's not!!! Taking the time to know someone is best. We want consistency, not chemistry. I've personally experienced this because the people that you get to know gradually becomes the people that you want in your life later on.
I don’t think the reason is because women are just emotional & desperate.. it’s actually because no one knows how to vet, we learn how to date from everyone around us and you can’t do something you don’t know & was never taught, you’re just doing the way that’s normal and the only way you can manage to figure out.
You speak so wisely.
God I needed this, very well done!
My problem was allowing my gift to see the multiple potentials within people i.e. the best version of that person not yet reached or perhaps catching a glimmer of it on them in one setting or another but never fully embodied & integrated by the person. .the issue was I never gave them a chance to show which version they'd rather be in totality; in contrast, I realized I had given them more time to strategize which version they needed to be in correspondence with who I was so that they can linger around me. . Seeing the potential good in people doesn't mean to ignore their malicious masks nor test the redness of the flags thrown by my better knowing. I was beyond ready to receive this message right here that you dropped; like a post-commentary of a lifetime movie that I not so long ago finally fought & slashed my way out of. Thanks, Honor, Respect & Gratitude to me, as well to you ❤🥂💐🧘🏽♀️⚔️🫡
This is really inspiring ❤
pleased to have discovered you I went over to Spotify and listen to every single one of your podcast while doing self improvement things at home.
You make many valid and thoughtful points
Thank you for your support ♥️
@@Yourlevelupguru you’re welcome. I appreciate you
I have no friends,i had alot of faje friends,and God showed me them,i was so broken, because i invested so much into those friendships,i believe they were Real,but now I i have heaked,I am so happy and at peace ,now you have to earned my friendship,and i allowing God to help me,your video are so inspiring,thank you.
THOROUGHLY AGREE!!!
Truly spot on. I'm happy I'm unbothered n don't have friends. I'm very cautious ⚠️ now n yes thank you girl for this
My objective now is to be able to afford a therapist 1 times a week. Once i do, i don't need a bestie, then i want to start saving for my retirement plans people are evil i have had bad experiences with them i have decided to really really take time to vent people
I would love it if you could create videos on exactly how to vet potential friends and partners. What are some key questions or things to look for? I love your content! Thanks for keeping the sisterhood informed and elevated! 👏👏
Excellent, necessary, and relevant. Thank you 🙏🏾
I'm even careful with having new friends over to my house. I need to be friends with a person for awhile before we move to the level of having them come over, or me going over to their place.
Subscribed. The title is on point.
I disagree with the stated reason for women's failure to propetly vet. It's not based on emotion, its more likely they have not been taught this skill, have not defined friendship, and how it should present. Yes, a person may trauma bond which is emotionally toxic but you do that when there is lack of awareness and you havent posed the right questions to yourself or the other person. Just a thought, ✌🏽💚
Hi, new subscriber. Love the way you speak and present this information. Very wise words 👌🏾 x
LEO ♌️ HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY 🎉 👑
Life is better with the right friends though ❤
Strong, relevant topic. Thank you.
I needed to hear this because I make this mistake a lot.
Ladies, everyone has red flags. Take care of yourselves, but don't take things so serious all the time. Kickback, have fun. Don't vet yourself into loneliness. Don't gate keep yourself into a fortress, were a cat is your best friend❤
Can’t relate. Having the wrong person around us can cause us our lives or mental health. Both are detrimental and the later can cause life-long trauma. Vetting is a survival skill at this point.
@@NomadicIslanders Yes this is true. All I'm saying is have discernment, not paranoia, and one must be sure to vet themselves as well, because when a person has one finger pointed at another person, they'll have ten fingers pointing at them, concerning red flags and vetting
And then it is a person like you who is quick to act on wrong intentions. No. Girls are not here to have fun.
@@JackofSpades175i understand what you’re saying. I’m trying to be mindful that this can lead to paranoia.
The term "nearsighted" is rather potent never conceptualized it like that
Silence offers perspective.
That’s why people call others “best friend”. Because the other person has dirt on, them. Can’t let them go. They have too much, information.
I wish I knew about this when I was trying to make friends. I would have avoided so much.
Have a Refined lovely soul Day...
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 Your birthday must be tomorrow.... Definitely appreciate the message
Yes i.just started doing this I
Had to.start.paying close.attention to the women and men.in my.life
Thanks, this is a great video 💗💗💗💗
Subscribed immediately!!
I did, too!! 😊
thank you for the guidance!!
Like a famous rapper said “You don’t know me Don’t be a groupy keep it moving You don’t know me’ Yeah you know my name but you don’t know me”🎵🎵🙏🏽🙏🏽
I Totally Enjoyed This Video Thank You!!!🍸🍒📝👓
I love this video!
We women are communal and we need each other. 2:46
Yes, BUT it must be the RIGHT women. Hence the vetting process to which she’s referring.
This is wisdom.
Also how can you get to know someone without ever talking about anything personal? The relationship would stay on a surface level.
Yes when you don't do gossip.and drama and being in people business know.one around yes yesm
Thank you so much for your video and message.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤I had to subscribe.
I’m weary of people who’s friends with everybody or believes everyone likes them.
We need phrases that would work in actual conversations though. Ppl ask all kinds of questions so it's like what do you even say?
i love your videos❤
It doesnt take time, it takes the self esteem to be honest with yourself after a hard day and an amazing date. Asking yourself do i feel good or was he rude and dismissive of that shop clerk or waiter, insensitive to that issue that means a lot to me? Do i want to be around him because life lately has been one long day or because being with him is genuinely better than being alone?
If anything time can make you forget those first signs of someone you might one day hate.
This video came in perfect timing for me
On the contrary... women prove to see and prepare for generations ahead in nurturing, teaching, feeding and socialising their children for generations...so we cannot say women are generally near sighted! That simply isn't true and Human society is evidence of this!
Great video!!
I don't date and I have no friends and that's is by design!
Most importantly they do this after 35 and at least a kid and a divorce and plenty of heartbreaks!
Exactly. For some reason the topic of self preservation is taught so late idk why
@@Yourlevelupguru a lot of parents don't care. A lot of women choose the wrong men either they just wanted money or they just wanted the hot guy or the kid was there to try to keep the guy around or whatever.
Also the guys who would teach the daughters well are generally guys women don't like cuz they're possesive and protective so if she bought into feminism she's gonna think he's suffocating.
In every case I've seen the woman wasn't attracted to the kind of men who would make the best fathers.
I think in the near future the women who have daughters who have a chance of success are gonna be the ones who completely shed patriarchal standards for men at a young age and select more exclusively for character traits and integrity. A lot of women feel pressured by society to seek the guys who look good on paper, pretty face, tall, a pushover etc and money. She's gonna have to go grass roots and look primarily for the things that make good fathers, not enablers but like actual good fathers.
Every time I see some generic feminist wonder why all men are bad to her there's a guy like me staying far away, and if she does see me she's gonna make excuses on why I'm not good enough until she needs a bail out after all the major disqualifies and life mistakes have been made by her. Guys with spine don't accept slop in their women.
Happy birthday!! #augustbabies
Great video
So true.
Thank you!
Well🏆said and very helpful