CHIT CHAT GRWM - LOSING MYSELF, MARRIAGE, CHRISTIANITY, BEING SEXY, WOMANHOOD JOURNEY | Mena Adubea
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ก.พ. 2025
- I mentioned, briefly, in a vlog that I recently decided to dress up and feel myself again, since I had gotten off track at some point. We are talking all about it in this video - COMMENT AND LMK IF YOU RELATE.
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Mena Adubea
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≫ Born in Rhode Island, originally from Ghana, West Africa 🇬🇭
≫ I live in Houston, TX (for the past 11 years)
≫ I began my doing make-up in Graduate School, moved to Houston for work in Higher Education, became a Freelance MUA on the side, also worked at MAC and now I am a full time Content Creator and Skincare Enthusiast. Sorry, I don't take clients anymore.
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As a single mother of three l have completely neglected myself !!! U get so lost in trying to make sure your kids have everything needed and taking care of them I forget about myself !!! This definitely hit home more than u know! For me to get cute and dressed up makes me happy especially when I know I look good ! I need to get back to doing it and doing it for me because I love myself !!!
I did the same thing when my girls were growing up. As they got older, I had a closet full but I seldom wore they. The kids come first. But remember this. You have to get you together before you get the family together. You’re the leader, example that they will follow.
I totally understand this.
Mena!!!!! I had a time in my life where I was focused more on the husband and the children and forgot myself! I’ve always loved fashion and makeup! I had to tell my husband that when I put on makeup and put on something cute to wear I do it for me ! My husband reaps the benefits of me looking cute!!!!! It’s so important to take care of yourself in this regard! Loved this topic!
As you get older, once you are the type of person who is reflective and interested in self development (doing the inner work etc.); you're consciously and subconsciously constantly checking, changing and re-evaluating. I think it's for the best. 🙌❤️
So true!
This hit home for me!!! I got married last year and have gained a ton of weight from the fertility pills and just letting myself eat and be happy generally. On Sunday, someone I met the day I met my husband commented that I no longer look like the hot girl she met that day and, I don’t know, but it genuinely hurt me. Even tho my husband tried to tell me not to take it to heart cos I look great and the lady is known for talking too much. Monday this week I decided to start my weight loss journey with exercising and intermittent fasting. Three days in and I’m soo pumped by this video. My husband was mentioning last night that he’s proud of me cos he thought I was going to quit after the first day, but I told him that I was doing this for me this time. I had let go cos I kept expecting that I’ll soon get pregnant so no need to cut weight when more weight will come with the pregnancy. Well that hasn’t happened yet, so I decided to stop postponing!
This video just solidified my mindset to do this FOR ME! Thank you Mena! Love from Nigeria 😘
I needed to hear this so bad... I think all women lose themselves at some point. And having a baby probably amplifies it. Going through postpartum made it even worse for me. Almost 2 years of not feeling like myself. And it's like "how did I get here?" But recognizing it is what makes the difference... now I live and dress for meeeeeee. You cannot pour from an empty cup 🥰
💯 that post partum was no joke. I found myself in all stretchy clothes to the point I didn't want to wear clothes because I was too tired. Now, man, I be wearing a full outfit dressed up in my house twirling around.
I so enjoyed this video!!! I am a 68-year-old woman and emerging makeup artist in my retirement. My previous careers were as a professional dancer and educator. I have followed you for a long time and see your growth. Thank you for being you and being a blessing to so many of us. 😊💯🙏🏾
Aaw thank you so much for your support!
Reading all these comments omg. Seeing that I’m not alone going through all this… this is so encouraging! I hope we all find a balance. I feel being women we get so used to giving out all this love that we mostly forget to love ourselves! It’s so sad💔 I’m definitely going to start showing myself and my body the love I need from this very moment.
Everything you said made so much sense. Losing oneself is something I think all women go thru. Finding yourself is like a road to redemption. Thanks so much.
Yes!
Wow I seriously didn’t expect this talk to touch me so much. I’ve been havinf these thought recently : to take care and look good FOR MYSELF. I am here for this
Yes and yes, sis!
I think a lot of women need to hear this. People who know me always say i overdress for everything. No. I dress for me and whatever I’m wearing is for me. DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
The part that REALLY Resonated with me was the legalistic Christianity part!! YES! I also used to really be very bound these boxes of how I should dress as a Christian. But like you said as you mature in ur relationship with Christ, you start to see what you do for God and what you doing as a PEOPLE PLEASER!! 👀 No more of that for me!!!! 🎉
So I feel you!
Yes, married 11 years with 3 children and about 3 years ago I started feeling the same way. Feeling like who is this woman. I dressed OK but more comfy casual. One day end of 2019 I woke up and was like umm time to shake it up. A family member asked me recently you've really changed, what's got you dressing up you really been looking nice. ME it's me, it is me.
Yup! “What’s has changed? Me - doing what I need to do, for me!”
Well I'm 23 and neither married nor in a relationship but what you said resonates with me so much. I'm always conscious of what I consume on socials and your content is always helpful and healthy. Thank you for this message
See! love that! it really applies to use all and I’m glad my channel is fruitful for you, sis. That’s important to me!
"I came here and I wore this" is my mantra 😄. . . I had to rewatch this video. Resonated!
Yepppppppppp
I am getting back to dressing up myself. I’m retired and just stopped getting dress. I’m back to getting dressed up for no reason. I get dress up even to hangout with the sisters. It feels good. It’s easy to loose yourself doing day to day things. I’m no longer seeing people everyday. I love getting “done “, and going out. Even to get groceries. It’s a mind set.
Yessssss it’s true when you look good, you feel good!
Your skin looks like butter! I can relate. I was a stay home mom for 8 years. During that time I too forgot who I was. That realization was so painful. Makeup was also my place of self recovery and I still have a way to go. This eye look is exquisite.
As a newlywed and Haitian American I’m learning that right now ❤️. Loving to look nice for home , work, anything
This resignates all the way. I’m a nurse throughout the pandemic, I went through the dumps mainly from burnout, tiredness, etc. in which went hand in hand with the shut down, not going out, etc. Now with me hitting 30 years old recently, something internally hits different that makes you want to keep it tight, keep it right, keep it sexy for myself. For myself, I love a beat face so doing my makeup always keeps me feeling good and feeling good for me. Even when I show I to work with a minor beat, my coworkers always ask “where are you going after this? A hot date? Who are you looking good for?” And my every response is that want to feel pretty/cute. I mean not that i don’t think I’m pretty without makeup but coming to work and having to wear the same old color unified uniform scrubs, it gets tiresome and sometimes all of us (coworkers) mesh and blend in with each other so why not put on a face and stand out. And sometimes it makes my patients smile and even my coworkers. So my motto is LOOK GOOD, FEEL GOOD, AND it just might rub off to someone else. Thanks for the chit chat. I totally can relate
Just found this. Whew!!! This was a WORD! You articulated exactly what I felt after getting married, having all these kids, then going through a pandemic. I came out feeling like I lost myself and I had my own epiphany where I realized I needed to get myself together and get back to me. Putting on makeup and looking cute might seem superficial to some but it’s what I need to feel happy and comfortable in my skin.
Great video. Mena I am 53 and just began doing makeup and it was because of this very thing. I have a daughter and twin boys and now I am at a point were they are taking care of themselves. That is when I realized I lost myself. Trying to get back to me but of course suitable for my age and I feel great. Thanks for this💜it!
This message was amazing! This resonated with because I was this girl until 2 months ago. I was the throw on sweat pants and a shirt girl. Now, I’m buying nicer things and building my feminine energy! What I love about you is how you make colors work, most TH-camrs would have not done a bold green eye with pink lips they would’ve said that doesn’t work but you make it work. I would love to see a video on how you feel about Christian women doing certain things like drinking or listening to certain music etc.🤗👀
Your journey resonates with me 100% it's like you are speaking directly to me Mena.
yesssss girl! it’s def a common thing!
Thank you for this video❤Honestly had tears in my eyes watching this because realizing how much of myself I’ve lost in just 2 years of marriage and after 1 child is not cute. This video right now gives me anxiety just realizing how much I have to work on to get back to how I used to be. I have completely detached myself from me. Im motivated and anxious at the same time. There’s just so much going on and I pray I get all the strength I need to start doing nice things for myself without feeling that I am failing anyone💔
I’m praying and believing with you, I completely understand
I really loved this chat you had with us! I’m sort of pulling myself out of losing myself and out of a marriage that wasn’t allowing me to be me and I saw my spirit dying. When we know things don’t align with who we are, we have to acknowledge them and do the work.
Yesssss everything you said and then some. I’ve been married for 12 years and I’m 34 years old. I think almost most married women go through this. You really can lose yourself.
Thanks Mena, as always your topics are ALWAYS on point. I find that us women often lose ourselves, and just like you mentioned, it's such a pro-founding moment when we "do you" sort-of-speak.
Omg I really needed to hear this. After working 12hrs shifts all I do is finding myself in the kitchen cooking for the family on my days off. I had let myself go for a while but thanks to keto I’m slowly finding myself
I'm so glad you made this video. It resonates with me so much. I always do my makeup and dress up for myself because it makes me feel good and people would always ask me where you going and why are you so dressed up...umm I'm doing it for myself because it makes me happy and makes me feel good..🙄
Absolutely gorgeous as always! I'm loving the completed look! That green is stunning 😍! I love how you put everything together!!!
Losing myself is something i did as well. But the difference is I only noticed it when i got divorced. Having a kid i believe i just got caught up but now I remember im not just a mom. I'm also an individual separate from motherhood.
absolutely! And I take my gift as a mother very seriously, but I’ve also learned to do that in a sexy and fly way! Doesn’t have to be separate! 💕
I dress up with a full face of makeup for work. I am in leadership in healthcare. People are always asking me how early I get up to get ready in the morning. They don’t realize that makeup doesn’t take that long one you’ve mastered it. I do it for me! Great video! Lovely eye look!❤️
I do it for me! That part!! Yup!
Preach! I'm getting my stuff back together now. I looked at myself one day, and I couldn't believe the reflection looking back at me, was me. I thought the marriage 30 was a joke it ain't! Then to add covid on top of that. Gurl... You preaching to the choir! Lol
This was very much needed!!! Newly married after 40 losing yourself is depressing. Therapy and God has helped me to learn to truly love and embrace me for me!! Love your platform. 🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️❤️❤️
Totally relatable. Married 5 yrs, two little ones and am just now taking the time to find out who I am as a wife and mother. It's nice to discover that I am not the same as I was as a single woman. As you said, if we don't grow something is wrong! These videos have definitely been helping me get it together. Keep doing what you do. Its a blessing!
Mena Mena Mena!!! This video is EVERYTHING I’m going through now minus the married part. I’m starting my senior year of college as an older than normal student and I have been putting so much effort into looking good for myself because I absolutely refused to be out here lookin crazy anymore
Yes girl!! So important!! we gotta do it for US!
i love this look!! i wish i could like it a thousand more times, I love what you were talking about even more. I got married right before COVID hit... like Right before and we spent our first year of marriage pretty much inside outside of going to work. So there was nowhere to dress up to go to and I kind let myself go (no makeup ever, work clothes and pajamas). Over the last few weeks, I'm realizing that I need to look nice for ME. My husband appreciates me looking nice now and then but honestly... he's happy either way. Thasnks for being so honest! I paused to say AMEN many times while watching!
So so good! Wow - I can’t imagine how diff that first year was - being in the pandemic. Glad you’re still holding strong and yes to doing it for you! A good man won’t tell you, he’ll love you as you are. BUT bABYYYYY - when you start givin looks, he gon take note! ✍🏾
Mena. Mena. Mena honey you are so on it honey. Listen I feel you I have been married for 17 years and I have found myself giving into this workout clothes as a daily. And on Sundays I do the whole nine. This pandemic has gotten me lazy girl I have to do BETTER!!!!
I use to get dressed for the office and now I have gotten very lazy and I’m wanting to transition into a lifestyle blogger/vlogger. Honey I’ve got work to do. Thanks for the much needed talk!!!!!! Keep doing you I LOVE IT !
This resonates with me too . I lost myself as well during my 1st marriage and the death of my older daughter I gain so much weight and having to move back home it was definitely a struggle but I started working in my home town around people who dressed up all the time and I said I want to look nice too and it gave my confidence back to always look your best no matter what ! Thanks for the video it was refreshing
Girl, legit I am going through the phase right now. After baby 3...I need to reinvent ME! I have always loved to dress up too...yeah I am that person who always likes to look good - I'm extra lol but after baby 3, it's time for another level up! Still on my weight loss journey...meh...I'm about to do a closet declutter. But for real though- let's talk about the knock about clothes at home...had the same self talk! Now I have been dressing cute at home!!! Thanks for sharing your transparency 👍🏼 and you are so lovely 😍 per usual! Christianity does not = frump!!
Your channel is such a breath of fresh air !!!!!!!!! I’m married as well with 4 kids (newest baby 4 months old) and Lord have mercy , I’m on the journey to find myself again. I just started ready the book you talked highly of, “Miracle Morning”. You are so down to earth and I love your channel !!!!!
yes, sis, yes! happens to the best of us and that book is soo good! so glad so many of you are reading it and loving it!
Literally going through this stage RIGHT NOW!!! So glad you spoke about it… loved everything about this video. Thank you for sharing!!
I appreciate this post. Although I’m not married - as a mom I have lost myself in this duty. So glad you shared this story. By the way so glad to see more women of color (darker skin) doing makeup that reflects me.
I can relate totally to this post I purposely get up early just to do my makeup for work and of course resume my shopping and working out because for a few years i totally lost myself and can I say my confidence has soared thru the roof and yes still rocking with King Jesus because its my heart that counts this video was soo inspiring and completely resonated with me a 1000%!!
I definitely understand where you’re coming from. I used to be a pretty girl and then I had knee surgery, couldn’t wear heels again and I lost my confidence. I then became a single mother a few years after of a special needs child and I got lost in being a mom. Then I tried to find me again and what I liked and that’s how I started the makeup page. I bought it but because I don’t go nowhere I stayed frumpy but kept buying and so I decided to at least wear makeup for IG. The panoramic shut down put me in rut again because I had no moment to myself. So now that school is back on and I have a little time for me, I’m working on my body and looking and feeling good again. It’s a struggle but I can’t keep wearing sweats all day everyday, that’s not who I want to be.
oooooooh sis! First, let me say that you are a fantastic and you are a superwoman! God is with you and everything that you go through and I encourage you to continue to do what you can, each day, to live the best life you can. You are a miracle man to your child and you can always do one or two things for yourself each day. I salute you!
@@MENA_ADUBEA aww thank you so much!!
This was very much on time! Thanks Mena! I lost myself after a traumatic event. I’ve trynna get back to me, so this was very helpful to hear.
This resonated with my spirit so much…I’m literally in tears 😭 I am so glad that I saw your video today… it was divine timing. I thank you for sharing this. It is definitely a catalyst to me for change…to find ME again and embrace ME again
I needed this. I spent my entire life self conscious of my body. Getting teased and all that. Because I used to be almost 300lbs at 15. Well at 15 I randomly got sick. Found out I had MG which I inherited from my great grandmother. I’m 30 now and I’m still dealing with MG everyday because mine affected me from neck up. So my speech is whisper sluggish because my tongue doesn’t move. And lately more than ever I feel trapped in my own body. I swear this entire situation is ghettooo lol. And I’m trying to figure who I AM. What do I WANT. Like what is my purpose right now. Not gonna lie depression ain’t cute especially when no one notices and they continue to beat you at your lowest. And watching this just gave me the extra umph I needed. The encouragement I needed to do me for me. Thank you 🙏🏾 ❤️
Keep Your head up. You are blessed! More strength to you.💪
OMG you really hit the nail right on the head. I have been in this space and really fighting to come out of it. Especially with COVID and working from home. It’s been a struggle. Thank you so much for sharing this. And yes I am Ghanaian and the house cloth thing has messed me up. I always reach out to wear two or three things when I have so much in my closet just collecting dust in the name of “going out clothes” or work clothes. It’s so important to dress up for ourselves and look good for ourselves. Love love this video ❤️❤️❤️
so so true! 💕💕💕
Hey Mena! I totally agree about dressing for yourself..I work from home & put on something I like every chance I get when I do go out..Im not always in heels (because I love sneakers) but whatever Im wearing it is Nice & makes me happy. Love the green shadow!!
Sis, you are alright! You are the sister we all wish we had! I'm so grateful to have found your channel! Love you to life!!!!
This is refreshing and real. I had my epiphany last year and I have been purging my closet and revamped my look.
Thanks! I feel like I am going through this process now. You have given me a reason to do it for me. I can't thank you enough 😍
Mena!!! I did need this. I work a full time job as well as being a MUA which seems to be full time as well. Being so busy I have become the t shirt and legging girl. Which I never was. Long story short. I needed to hear this. Thank you. Keep inspiring.
So so good! We gettin out sexy back, ok?!
Loved this topic! Related to it so much and currently going through my own journey with doing it for myself
This was so on point for me thanks for sharing! Let me get myself all the way together🤣
Thanks for sharing yourself on all topics of discussions! I’ve truly been inspired! Thanks Mena!
I'm so glad!
Listen, this was a word on today 🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿. There are days when I have to remind myself that I'm more than just a mom and a wife. Shoot had me a life before all of them and they are my additional blessings and not a reason for me to stop thinking bout me too.
Sis you telling the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth!! I love it and I am working on it I need to do better as well 💯❗️❤️❤️ omg I felt that about the relationship with God and what you wear and all of that you just stated❗️💯❗️❗️
I agree! This video was on time because I was feeling the same way. Love your makeup!!!
LOVE the chit chat Mena. I would not be mad if you did more of these.
My boo Britt aka TheHeartsandCake90 recommended your channel. Stopping by to say hi! I wholeheartedly agree with dressing for yourself! Thank you for sharing your personal thoughts. And this final look is fireeee!
Thank you so much!! Did she? thank you!!
@@MENA_ADUBEA she sure did. Shouted you out in her latest current favorites video!
Omg the dressing frumpy/no shape clothing after marriage resonates with me so hard! Shoot I was doing it before my husband I got married but dating. I just let the relationship ans beinf a boy mom suck everything out of me Including closing myself off to everyone & reality. Even lost my love of makeup I've been wearing it since high school! Omg I am really regretting it now because I completely lost myself. And it honestly made me bitter. I am literally having to retrain my brain to get out the funk. Mena I am telling you I ate up this video while doing my nails. 💯👏🏿 💜whew chile! Thanks again for all you do and your makeup look is 🔥🔥🔥per usual💜
So so true and so glad to know that we can all relate to this! You got this.
@@MENA_ADUBEA Thank you so much🤗
Frumpy lumpy dumpy lol omg I felt all of what your saying being married have kids we tend to lose ourselves
Listennnnnnnn!! Had to pull myself OUT!
I agree with this and starting to make changes for ME and still pushing through for myself ! This was right on time !!!!
You never disappoint. I love your videos and your attitude! Definitely having an amazing time finding myself again. It’s very awakening! Love you, Mena! 🥰❤️
I feel you 🙌🏼I guess I’ll start buying more clothes 😂 I still have some of my highschool shirts or pregnancy that I rock 🤷🏻♀️
I’m late to the videos, work is rough this week.
Haha my friends used to always say:: it’s a bbq, we wearing shorts, cause you will come with a ball gown!! 😀😀
I do dress up for myself cause I want to I don’t care where I’m going
European ladies do that all the time even going to the supermarket they look good
This is me!😢 but I have been watching your channel and trying to find ways to still keep it cute but in a simple way that works ❤
I FEEL THIS WHOLE VIDEO!!!! I’m in that self discovery place myself. Learning who I am and who Jesus is to me something else. But I’m enjoying all of it and finding a place that my love of makeup make room for me. Thank you so much for sharing!!! 💕💕
Yes and yes, sis!
Wow! These words came just in time, I am just struggling with that, as I am a housewife and as "I only go to church" I hardly get ready or I get pretty, because where do I go? But I'll take this advice to dress myself, even if I don't go anywhere I'll get pretty and stop putting clothes away. I had those same thoughts, I'M NOT GOING To wear clothes, if I don't go anywhere, that thought of misery with which we are raised when we have little still haunts me. And that's how my life is going, wanting to do things, to grow in the beauty business, but I am always allowing others to stop me, just because of that, as a Christian I sometimes consciously allow legalism to stop me, and really I long to live in the (holy) freedom that Christ has given me, enjoy myself more, celebrate myself more, I am on the road and your words are confirming it, THANK YOU MENA, God bless you more🙌🏾❤️!
You are so right, sis! Rooting for you!
I love this video. Thank you for being transparent. Embrace your journey! You should be proud.
Yes, the face is definitely done ✨️🥂💕🩷
The eye look is giving 😻😻😻❤️❤️❤️❤️ so true looking good for yourself is so important
Thank you for this Mena!! I'm sooo here for this topic and this beat!!! Bless you! Keep sharing we need it!
I just started watching your videos and I enjoy learning from your makeup videos. I am still learning.
I am 49 yr. old Christian woman who loves God, but I still wear my makeup and still like to look hot and sexy too.
Completely loved this video . I too can be legalistic when it comes to Christianity and I’m trying to break away from that . Also been dressing up for myself ! Period . Love your personality
perioddddddd!!! I do random giveaways and you won - text me at 1 (401) 356-3913 with your name and address. This is US only, so sorry, but I certainly love to share the PR that I get with my loyal audience! FYI - with the text, you'll be joining my text community, which is open for anyone to join! (no, this is NOT spam, it's me, Mena!)
@@MENA_ADUBEA YAY! thank you. I texted the number but I haven't gotten a response
This was a great topic. You can still love God and be you. Taking time to pour into yourself as a month.
Exactly...the work attire is taking over my wardrobe. 😔 doctor outfits very diff from my true clothing personality. Working on it though. Stop!!! Girl I have Coach loafers °° Mena! You are literally speaking my life
I liked that cream blush, it looked so good
I love the look reminds me of vacation vibes.
Thanks Mena for always keeping it real and making me laugh!!!! Continued blessings to you and your family!!!!
Oh my goodness that’s my life right now. The only one at work that care and come to work put together like I like to look.
Love the eye look. Yeeeessss!!!
This was spot on and timely!
You've got to dress for yourself. 🗣 More woman need to hear this. It is not selfish. We get into these marriages, have these kids and we forget about ourselves. We can't be good for anyone if we losing who we are. This is real life real talk.
We all need that type of conversation with ourselves 🥰🥰. We should be enough to dress for.
Hey hun!! I’m a new Subbie!! I just love your spirit and personality. Thank you for your transparency ❤️
I’m feeling like this at the moment and didn’t know why or where the feeling was coming from, then I saw this and was like oooooooh,
Is this what this is???
Wow 😢
Thank you for the video
Hugs!
@@MENA_ADUBEA
Thank you ❤️
The eye wiggle as you use the sponge gets me everytime 🤣❤️
Hahahah it do be wiggling
THANK U 4 SPEAKING 2 ALL WOMEN I REALLY GET BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY 4 ME
For meeeeee!! Yes!
wow!!!! this video was a reality check thank you so much
Thank you soo much I almost forgot why I am me,being going through the most not knowing whom I am was my young me,I am learning to love myself more than I love every one and accepting me with all my imperfection.🥰🥰😍😍😘😘😘😘😘sending love form South Africa 🇿🇦
I hear you, sis! 💕 you got this!
love your personality! so pure ❤
Love your videos as you drop so many gems 💎!
First of all the chit chat was great. I definitely agreed to what you said. Love the eye colors beautiful. Your makeup application is on point. Thanks for Sharing. Love your Personality and your Videos. ❤💯😊
You’re beautiful and thank you! This was very I inspiring!
Choose you for yourself
Thanks Mena😘😘😘
I really needed to see this video so many things resonated with me... Thank you Mena
So glad!
on the sammmee journey loved this!
I lost myself after my son. I'm 5'3 and I went up to 180 lbs. One day I looked at myself and had to change. I'm 57 and I feel good about how I look now.
So glad to hear that!