Why did I start weeping when she prayed to not use sex as a weapon against her husband?? I'm not even married or had sex? As a man I've grown up with the whole world using sex against me. Ads, marketing, manipulation, shows movies, games, all day everyday.. it just hit me all at once hearing a godly woman just even say those words healed something in me and made me feel a little safer for when I do get married. Godly Women! You are SO important! Do not under value yourself!
Marriage does not fix a porn addiction. No one, not even the best kindest most Godly wife, can save you from porn. It is up to each man to get his act together and decide what is important to him. How will you survive when your wife had her first child? It takes at least 6 weeks to physically recover from labour. How is a man who thinks his wife must perform to keep him from porn, ever going to make it through that recovery period? What about when she is ill? We women have all the guilt heaped upon us when our husbands cannot control their lust and treat sex like something that controls him instead of something he has to gain control over.
Be VERY careful not to make marriage an idol. I did this and it was a scary time. Love the LORD your God with all your mind soul and strength. Seek ye FIRST the the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added to you. You will not be married in heaven. Make heaven your goal. Walking hand in hand with your sweetheart into kingdom. Don't spend your whole life on this. Please put God first and FAR above any other.
Don't make your "conscience" an idol either. Especially women looking down at men because they consider themselves more spiritual. Female moral superiority supposedly backed by God (but not actually) has done quite a bit of damage to my generation. It's the reason evangelical churches are emptying out.
Marriage matters to God,in Genesis, it's the first thing he made,Jesus's first miracle was at a wedding, and revelation reveals the wedding supper... Our view of marriage has to change,we need to look at each other through the eyes of God...marriage is the only thing on earth that depicts christ and the church!!! No wonder even submission is in reverence to God... Marriage is the most powerful tool to bring Gods kingdom down... Look for ways you and your spouse can serve God together... May God heal the broken marriages represented here and expose the enemies deception in the name of Jesus Christ...
And everything that brings fear has not been perfected in the love of God....God created marriage and sex but Satan has perverted it to the extent that it seems unholy....Marriage is a platform to serve God
Good advice. Thank you! I've been married 27 years. And with 8 children, it was a challenge to carve out time for intimacy. But it was worth it!! Please remember, ladies, God created the gift of sex for us as well as our husbands. One thing that my husband has shared, is that as a man ages, sex becomes more emotional for the man as well. Again evidence that God has a plan for those aging bodies.😊
Bless your comment ! My husband of 37 yrs just passed away . For couple yrs he seemed to change . He had prostate issues his Dr didn't insist he have enlarged gland removed just increased dosage . He wasn't communicating well but ppl thought it was working late nights & growing old . I'm telling you this bcs your husband sharing it's more emotional now as he ages with you his wife married longer brings me comfort. My husband's cancer diagnoses went to his brain. He lived 2 mons ! Knowing I'll never know bcs of his illness cancer silent for yrs no obvious symptoms hearing your comment touched my heart for me to believe my husband wasn't able share intimacy anymore physically knowing he felt emotional intimacy means alot to me . For he lost ability to talk express his thoughts I hurt . I wanted more than anything for my husband to know before he died that I truly loved him ! Thx for saying :))
@@lesliemckinley9615 It shows we never know what our words will have an impact for good or for ill. Your marriage is enduring as our vows were meant to be before God and those witnessing our commitment of love for each other as husband & wife! Bless you I pray too for you that God will cont to keep you healthy & happy!
@autumnleaves9680 Thank you! Actually, my husband's health is not good. He is seeking disability and I am returning to the workforce. But God is sustaining us. And as you say, we are honoring our vows.
Believe me, we’ve been married 53 years. Of course our children are grown up and gone. Our intimacy now is better and stronger than ever. Hang in there honey, it just gets better when you have a relationship with God and each other.
I just finished reading this book for the 2nd time in my marriage. We've been married 25 years, and I feel like it is always good to be praying over your marriage! ❤
Same. I am fighting the feeling of disinterest so he can stay fulfilled. I have to be praying to prepare but the additional advice in this chapter was really helpful
My mother gave this book to me when I got married 21 years ago. I’ve read it twice over the years and I’ve often incorporated the prayers into my days from time to time.
That book triggered me! Not for those Christian women married to a narcissist. Don’t feel bad if that’s you and this chapter makes you cringe. I raised and homeschooled 8 kids and was married 30 years to an unbelieving and unloving covert narc and was just a body to have sex with. Praise God, truly, not all marriages are like that because that is not normal or healthy and if you are married to such a person, it’s not you. You are probably not a frigid wife. You just are not genuinely loved, and I’m so sorry about that for you, and pray God will restore all the years the locust have eaten and turn your ashes into a beautiful garden. Trust God in everything. 💕 God restored and is restoring me. He has taught me many things about the beauty of sex and now I can listen to this chapter and not feel the guilt and shame of “being a bad wife,” and for that I’m so thankful to God.
Thank you for sharing this. I was so triggered I started to cry that if I don't want to give up my body like that anytime he wants it I'm displeasing God and a bad wife. I was going to close it and just felt the same guilt I've felt my whole life that I'm a bad person and displeasing God and everyone else through things I can't help until I read your message. Thank you for being honest enough to share that. It really helped me.
Yea as someone who experienced SA in the past, this terminology definitely triggered me. These were words my narc ex used to use towards me. Such a backwards way to think about it. If you love something, you take care of it. Not the wife needing to take 20 mins to mentally prepare herself for torture. How about the husband taking 20 mins to talk to the wife about what is wrong and why she is so tired, and then doing something to take a load off of her the next day? Crazy concept.
I agree with the 15 minute or however long it takes to feel "relaxed and ready" is so key! I think that should include whatever it takes for you personally to feel relaxed and ready which is so individual. At least for my husband, that seems to be what he wants from me more than being dolled or perfumed up. He just wants a ready and willing and relaxed and happy wife! If it takes dimming the lights to reduce stimulation, getting a hot shower to ease the day's aches and pains, putting on relaxing music (we've even just used nature sounds in the background lol!) Or hey if going all out with prep makes someone relaxed, that's great too! Thanks for these good reminders!
I can say as a husband that we also don’t want you to feel like getting ready to be with us is a chore to put on your list. We don’t want you to say “Great. Now I have to get cleaned up and put on makeup because he wants my attention.” We honestly just want to help you relax. We’re simple creatures. This activity makes us feel better, and we want you to feel better with us. All we want is a partner who wants to be there with us. Sometimes you demonstrate that by getting dolled up for us. Sometimes, it sounds like “I have 15 minutes of energy left, but they’re all yours. Put me to sleep with a smile on my face.”
Beautiful. It really is so hard not to become complacent. Thank you for your honesty. We have two littles and it's so easy to say, "I'm tired, not tonight." The "15 minute let me take a shower" bit is life changing. In one of my Bible studies a few weeks ago, we touched on this. Thank you for your honesty.
Sex is the expression of the love you both have for one another. It's something that should come naturally because of the love in each other's hearts. When you love someone it's not seen as a duty, you just want to express that love. The reason why people have some many issues when it comes to this is because of people viewing sex as something that's sinful, carnal, dirty, and using their partner to fulfill selfish needs when in reality sex is spiritual, loving, trusting, and giving when you have the love of God in your heart. It's that simple...
I agree. I had SA in my past and am a single mom now. I was content being celibate the rest of my life just from the trauma from that. Dating terrified me when men would basically expect to use your body in that way in marriage. Just even the terminology used in this video makes it feel gross. When my now fiance asked for exclusivity, I told him I wasn't sure I could perform in that way, and that he was better off looking for another girl. I told him about the SA. At that point, we had prayed together a few times, and I trusted him with my heart. He told me at least let me protect you and your son, and if we don't do that it will be ok. The relief I felt was indescribable. As our relationship grew, we began praying together daily. Now it is hard to resist getting cuddly afterwards. 5 months to go to the wedding and I'm actually looking forward to that with him. With any other man, it would be a torture. You shouldn't need special clothes or anything else to excite your partner. To my fiance and I, the possibility of children and our hearts laid bare to each other is all it takes.
The way that you still look at your husband after 6yrs of marriage ❤ and the way he greets you is what I wish I still had and it’s only been 4yrs for me😢
Keep in mind that marriages are not linear. If you feel like the "spark" has died down, there are ways of rekindling. You just need to be willing to put in the work, and hopefully your husband will start to do the same. ❤️
@@realestaterealness3828 aw 🤍please know this is not how he greets me all the time when he gets home. I urge you to try not to compare your relationship with the brief interaction you witnessed of me and my husband. I would recommend you talk with your husband. Explain to him how it would make you feel if he greeted you differently. Communicate ways you feel loved and ask him what you can do to also help him feel more loved. Great relationships take a lot of communicating together, learning and growing 💜 Praying for you 🩷
@@ahomemakersnotebook I agree with your statement. @realestaterealness Communicating and speak up about how you feel and what you expect from your husband to him can make a such a huge impact. I usually have so much assumptions after assumptions jn my mind when I can't express how I feel about how my husband treat me. And most of the time my assumptions were all wrong. Turned out to be totally different cause from what I thot. And remember! The evil one can and will always try to play trick on you. Bring rings in prayer to God too.
God can redeem ANY situation! When I got pregnant with our 4th baby, we went a solid year and a half with having sex maybe 5 times during that time. About a year ago, we finally hit our breaking point and had to ask if we were still in this marriage together. It took one conversation to completely change the trajectory of our marriage! I can now see where I failed as a wife during that time and with God, our marriage has never been better. It starts with you. Pray. Serve your husband. Leave resentment and selfishness aside. God sees you and He knows exactly what your marriage needs. Sorry that was so long! I just wanted to share that there is hope! God sees you!
Wow, these thoughts are amazing! Nobody teaches them to young people these days. I'm a 33 year old guy. I hope that I find a girl who embodies these Godly principles of marriage. Unfortunately, such people are rare in this age. Thank you for sharing!
I have a long term illness. It is like having babies one right after another, I am in pain, always exhausted, and have zero drive. I also have am overactive sense of guilt. This has become The problem. Please pray for me. Thank you for sharing thia lovely word.
@@ChucknRachelN I have endometriosis and PCOS and interstitial cystitis. I completely understand! There's absolutely been times where I would have to allow my hubby access and really mentally try to enjoy myself. I also am sore for days afterwards. I take an herbal supplement for pain and it has saved my life! It helps so much. I know it sounds cliche, but a change of mindset really helps me to focus on him and the pleasure he and I both need.
@@ChucknRachelN I am so sorry to hear about your pain and illness. My heart breaks for you 💔 i know what it’s like to have an illness for years that is incurable because doctors don’t know what it is or what’s causing the fatigue, pain etc. I spent months crying out to God. Asking why. Praying. Reading his word. Claiming his promises then feeling like nothing was working and he wasn’t going to heal me soon enough. I’ve been through it all. I now am a living testimony that God is the ultimate physician and I am basically healed. I used to not be able to get out of bed until 12 some days because I was in so much pain just to “sit up”. I wouldn’t wish what I went through on anyone. I know it’s hard. I will keep you in my prayers ❤️ Our God is a God of miracles 🙌🏽 believe it. Claim his healing over your body and life. You will get through this in Jesus name 🙌🏽
in Jesus' Mighty Name, AMEN ❣️❤️🔥praying in agreement. You are the Ultimate doctor Lord Jesus-- we believe, help our unbelief ❤️🩹 @ahomemakersnotebook
@@shelleyroper588 I'm unclear why you would want to participate, if it leaves you sore for days afterwards? Also unclear why your husband would want to inflict such soreness on you, let alone take pleasure himself from doing so? Is it a type of sadomasochism?
I personally thought this was perfect! I needed this reminder that we are not our own. And being in a marriage of 16 years we have come a long way. So I do cherish this courage that it took you to come out here and share with us. It’s important for us to remember we are honoring and serving our Father as we honor and serve our husbands and there is such a unique gift in this particular gift! Thank you!
@@marisoltorres3 I would recommend you to get help, and seek wise counsel. The Lord does not want you to be abused. You are his cherished daughter ❤️ I will be praying for you.
@@marisoltorres3you are a daughter of the King, He delights in you. I would have stayed in my abusive marriage honouring my vows continuing to be mistreated, but God made a way for me to leave and live in peace. I now write about my experiences using poetry to help others. I will pray for you 🙏
As someone on the other side of this who have had discussions with other men. 1. Your husband wants you to be eager and pleased and for you to want to be with him. That intimacy is more important than the physical act. 2. Speak clearly and explicitly about what it will take to get there for yourself not just for him. He wants sex/intimacy to be for you too. If you don't know what that is make time to figure it out with yourself, even if that means you need him to take 10 minutes of covering kids to give you peace to figure that out. 3. For most men i have talked too, sex is more about the energy and excitement. Determine what you are ok with. For example, telling him it is late at night and you don't want to have intercourse right now lets plan on X night and you will be mentally prepared but tonight you are willing to lay naked with him and kiss him and hold him/be held but it needs to stop there to look forward to anticipating x date. Your husband doesn't want sex to be duty sex and to be an item on your list. That hurts both of you. Instead communicate clearly and without blame about what you need for it to be about both of you. Because while it is not a need the lack of interest and desire can and will kill a marriage, as will have duty sex over years and years and shoving those feelings down or creating walls to any of that intimacy. I say this because far too many Christian womaen hear this message it is your duty so just do it and that message causes unbelievable pain when carried through maturity as well as the hardening of the heart and resentment and potentially even the belief there was trauma as 20 years down the road your mind tells you your husband should have known it was only duty sex you provided and agreed to and you see him as less than for being willing to accept it which causes lots and lots of pain.
Dear women, please don't put pressure on you to have sex with your husband, if you don't feel comfortable. A man has to learn to love his wife well, so that she WANTS to have sex with him. If that's not the case, sex will never be what it was designed from God to be. God would never want women to just endure it!
@@christina8330a lot of women think they’re “enduring it” when he hasn’t got her in the mood ‘enough’ yet, or the kids were really loud today, or she’s too tired tonight, or there’s a long day tomorrow, or her feet are sore, or her back had an ache and she had to take Tylenol, or she woke up at 3am, or the toddler didn’t have a nap today so she didn’t have a nap today, or you didn’t text her “I love you” after you left home for work, or you forgot to take the garbage to the road last week and she’s still thinking about it, or innumerable other things that make it simply impossible and insufferable to gratify you with (gasp) sex. You should know better by now the conditions have to be right, you don’t simply deserve love because you’re a married man you silly goose!
This is so true and important to understand. I’ve been slowly learning these things during my marriage, especially during seasons of breastfeeding babies, when the hormones involved really stifle my desire for my husband, unfortunately. It’s taken lots of careful communication, but I have discovered just how much my lack of interest & enthusiasm will crush my husband’s spirit. Planning a night to have sex really helps because I can mentally prepare, and then we both look forward to it.
It's a very important subject, particularly for elders, since perimenopause came to visit and on the edge of menopause, my energy levels and openness/availability wane during the month, other times they are quite high, hormonally women vary tremendously throughout the day and generally a man's levels are pretty static, it's something the biblical man didn't ever write about, and women had to grin and bear it, particularly if there was only stimulation for the male and the woman had to be 'ready' for her partner. Women's bodies are not always available and that's something I only learned after 45. Times change, we become better educated, I pray there are also books men will read too on how to pray for their wives and be the best husband to their partners.
Not to be mean, but don't forget the Bible says not to deprive one another as well so you're not tempted to sin, so you have a duty to make sure your husband is taken care of, otherwise you'll just be in one of those sexless marriages and soon become nothing but roommates.
I'm so glad you posted this even though it was your "usual" type of video. This is the first video of yours that I've come across and I'm so glad I did. I'm recently single, not exactly by choice and I've experienced sexual sins in the past. I'm learning to heal from it so that my next (and hopefully last) relationship will be free from the guilt and shame. I really enjoyed this chapter. It gave me good, biblical, and helpful ideas of what sex God's way really means. I always thought once one was married, this area of life would be easy and impossible to mess up in. I'm glad I know now God still has His good and perfect way in this stage of life too.
I wish all the Christian wives will listen to this or watch this video and build a good christian home. Your prayer is very powerful and your husband is very bless to have you as his wife. You too must be very bless to have him as your husband😊 God bless you and your family❤
Such a helpful message. I'm currently dating for marriage and I love hearing God's perspective and will for it. I would like to hear more from that book. Thanks for the encouragement...Love your videos ❤😊
Thank you so much for sharing this. I picked up the book a few days ago but I haven’t continued it since then. I’m glad I came across this video and I have subscribed to your channel. Yes, I loved this and would like you to continue this type of videos where you read a chapter in a book that has helped you as a biblical wife/mother.
This was really good counsel! Asking for 15 minutes is a great tip. I normally need to cool down from overstimulation, so that's a nice way to get time to relax while getting fresh.
@@jackiebunting4000 yes! I agree, some days are really full on and after the kids go down I need a minute before thinking or doing anything else of the sort 😅 so hopping in the shower helps me relax and get fresh like you said 😌
Wonderful video! You are so wise for your age. When I was first married, I confess I often pretended to be asleep. I have been married 29 years now and though things have "ebbed and flowed" in this area, I have only just begun to pray seriously about it and that has made the difference. Your reading of this chapter has brought me new clarity, so thank you. Blessings on you and your beautiful family!
Thank you for this. I’ll be honest as a wife in waiting this does make me a bit uncomfortable but Gd has chosen creators like you to share insights with us and help us truly understand what’s ahead as we seek the LORD and covenant promises. I appreciate that you’re helping me with the growing pains.. hehe. Shalom
“God's Plan For Your Marriage: An Exploration of Holy Matrimony from Genesis to the Wedding Feast of the Lamb” By Robert Altier A great Christian book for marriage
This was an awesome video! My favorite part was seeing your husband come up behind you and wrap his arms around you-it was so sweet and loving. It makes me even more excited for my marriage with my fiancé. Thank you for sharing; I loved the video and just subscribed. God bless you!☦️❤️
I am 53 years old postmenopausal married 31 years. This is something I needed! Thank you for sharing it and I've ordered the book! And my morning Bible reading. I actually read this passage yesterday! Perfect timing as always
@@jenn8815 I’m so glad your here 🤍 thank you so much, yesss I love that 🩷 when I picked the book up the other day there was no area I was struggling with my marriage so I’m like hmmmm let’s see what we have here 😌 and I read this chapter and I’m like wow. I didn’t even realize how much of a good reminder that was. Thank you Lord 🙌🏽
I enjoyed listening however before my husband and I married he expressed his need for respect and that if we aren’t spiritually connected then he doesn’t get turned on by an individual and cannot make love in the bedroom. He is still this way till this day and I will say I’m grateful because if he doesn’t feel respected as a man he can feel like a failure surely.. I will say I understand when one marries into a marriage not equally yoked and I know how hard that must be because of all the challenges one has to face 🙏
Thank you so much for this video! Truly from the bottom of my heart. I have struggled to understand this topic for so many years. After this video you have confirmed what the lord has put in my heart. Thank you!
The Wife has authority over the Husbands body and he is not to deprive her of himself. Unless "himself" means hes a sex machine, this is not just talking about sex. He is not to deprive her of non sexual affection, his time, attention in public, his conversation, HIS HEART. Woman - YOU ARE NOT COMMANDED BY GOD TO BE SEX MACHINES FOR YOUR HUSBANDS. HE IS COMMANDED TO KNOW YOU AND TO LEAVE HIS PARENTS AND CLING TO YOU. As the Leader of their home, sex needs to be prioritized with ALL THESE THINGS.
I think you might be missing the point of this particular passage: it really is about physical intimacy in the marriage relationship. In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul clearly sets up a physical-intimacy-context in vv.1-2, and in v. 3 he gives a Present-tense, Imperative, Active command "he must fulfill" in reference to that intimacy. Vv. 4-5 show us that authority of the other's "body" is explicitly stated for both husbands and wives. The verb, "deprive not," is, again, in a Present-tense, Imperative, Active command to all husbands and wives. These verb types in Greek are not (to my knowledge) the most aggressively imperative, but they're still a very strong command. Later on in v.5 the Greek can translate out "so that you all might be at leisure" or "so that you all might stand empty" to pray. So, in other words, the leisure/emptiness here seems to be suggesting to take a break from routine, normal activity to move toward a wholehearted devotion of prayer. Lastly, Paul gives literally a half verse here for breaking apart from this union and then immediately returns to it for the spouses' own goods. It's clear that it's talking exclusively about physical intimacy within marriage and making sure we don't stray from regular intimacy with our spouses. Please, don't misunderstand what I'm saying as an attack to you or to what you've written and expressed. I am in agreement with much of what you've said. I'm responding because of the remark, "this is not just talking about sex." We must not be so quick to impose our thoughts onto one particular text when other passages in His holy Word do a good job bearing out the ideas you've brought up within a more appropriate context and with better conviction/conclusions in those passages. This particular text just doesn't bear out the ideas you're suggesting. Ephesians 5 is a FANTASTIC resource for keeping men in checks/balances with their burden to die daily for their wives. The Bible doesn't definitively spell out frequency. I suspect (I'm happy to be wrong) He has graciously given us biology and simply knowing our spouses well in order to discern, with full wisdom from the Word, how we ought to function in our marriages. I will say, though, the language of the Greek seems to be more heavy on the higher frequency side of things--and I could be totally biased because I'm a man, but that's just to the best of my ability to understand the passage. I'm happy to walk through some of those terms in detail if you'd like to see how I'm drawing conclusions on that, but some of it has been stated above, particularly with the contrasting language of "leisure/emptiness." No, wives aren't supposed to be sex machines, but both husbands and wives have "duty" that must not be neglected, according to his Present-tense, Imperative, Active language. May the men who watch this video or even read this comment grasp living with their wives in an understanding way and loving them by dying to themselves. May they be strong and hold their wives up to the high biblical standards that God has called them to. Wash them with the Word. Love them to death. Help them live how God wants them to. And, like the praying wife, pray for them.
@trevorkurzhal7273 I haven't misunderstood, and my point still remains. Respectfully, I am referencing The King James version, which states "Defraud ye not one another" except it be with consent for a time that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer. Whether you are giving yourselves to each other or to God with fasting and prayer, you are not giving sex. You are giving intimacy. Intimacy in Hebrew is to "BE FULLY KNOWN" It is NOT referencing just the body. It includes your whole self, body, mind, and soul. Therefore the command not to deprive your Spouse of yourself is a direct command to give yourself COMPLETELY- This includes your conversation, your time, your affection, your heart. If you are not giving your Spouse ALL of you...then you are disobeying the command. The very reason to set aside time for fasting and prayer is so you can then give God ALL OF YOU. Because you cannot devote all of yourself to both at once.
@@justice4all977 let me help you read the text in its entirety and explain 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 nkjv Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. So let’s look at the message in its entirety and in simple biblical context. It starts out saying it’s better to not have sexual relations with a woman but because of sexual immorality but Paul says it’s better to get married and fulfill your marital duty. What is marital duty? Let’s look at the next verse. It says the husband and wife do not have authority over what? There own what? He uses the term bodies .“bodies” does not mean emotional, or anything else that’s referring to the physical intimate body of a person. The wife and husband are to yield there body to each other because if you stop that’s when the new beautiful woman at the office starts giving your husband the attention and satan uses the bait in the marriage for its destruction. Hope his helps and god bless you
Great and useful video! I loved the interaction between you and your hubby. It was so tender and sweet and you just glowed when he came in. I pray that my marriage would find that joy again in many ways. Thanks for sharing this and I for one would definitely be interested in hearing more like this. I like Stormie Omartian (the author of the book you referenced) and the many other books on praying for different relationships.
I like the Biblical stance on sex in marriage. If your wife wants it; give it. If your husband wants it; give it. Zero selfishness, taking care of eachothers needs as you promised. If you married somebody with a higher/lower libido than you’re comfortable with; your fault. Couples that treat intimacy like some privilege to withhold from their spouse when they’re angry or “not feeling it” end up dissatisfied and divorced.
I remember reading this book, or part of it anyway, and the advice to never say no, but ask them to wait a few minutes while we do something to prepare ourselves, has always stuck with me. ❤ Now, I don't remember the author or what the rest of the book says, but I have a genuine question... the author seems to say that if women don't want to, well, we just need to.... but, if men don't want to, well, we need to be understanding and look at it from various perspectives and consider a medical problem? That doesn't seem equal on both sides. If we women are to just make ourselves do it, because of satisfying our husbands needs, then, in the cases where the wife has more desire than the men, why aren't men also instructed to just make themselves do it and satisfy their wives? Conversely, if we are to consider all the other things that may be keeping them from desiring it, then why aren't they instructed to investigate those areas of our lives too? Or perhaps they are, and I either missed you saying that, or perhaps the author does say that in the book. I hope so. ❤❤
@@katieyungen1647 I hear you, husbands should be doing the same 🤍 however with this book and other book that talk specifically to wives, that’s just it. They are talking to us. So to say their husband should do xyz isn’t really helping if the husband himself isn’t reading the book - you know what I mean? So I think this author is just focusing on what we have the power to do. What is our part - we have control over that much. Does that make sense? 🥰
It’s because most marriage advice is biased in favor of men whether it’s talking about sexuality or any other aspect of marriage. The wife needs to sacrifice her needs and body but the man doesn’t need to. That’s why it seems unbalanced. Because it is.
@@BobisworldI always thought it was because his sacrifice was in his labour for his fanily as the majority of men are blue collar workers who work in often dirty, tiring and dangerous conditions and they also work more hours than women in also to support us. They also have to lay down their life for us if and when the time comes. Many men work their whole lives away for their families even if they dont like their job for their families. Isnt this a sacrifice of the body?
LOVED this video! I just organically found your page, and after some digging - I realized you were the sweet sister who privately emailed me awhile back. Subscribed! You're doing an amazing job growing your channel! And you inspired me to break out some books that I have gone highlighter happy in recently
@@AnnaDysett Thank you so much Anna 🥰 Yes that was me 🫶🏽 we have to look out for each other 😊 the channel growth is all Gods doing 🙌🏽 I see yours too! When I first started following you, you had around 7k and that was only a few months ago! Praise the Lord! it’s always nice to connect with other sisters in Christ on similar journeys 🤍 glad your here !
I almost didn’t watch this because I thought this was another over spiritualize video on TH-cam. But I’m glad I did watch and was proven wrong. This was a great video.
I so glad tht i found your channel is so good to know about this before i step to my new chapter God Bless you m your beautiful family's...keep upload more videos it really good information especially because the word of God you at in it❤❤
Thank you for this video, i enjoyed the reading and appreciate your commentary. I am not a wife yet, in YAHUAHS will, i pray that i am chosen to be a wife. This video was very insightful and although i knew of this vaguely, it was nice to hear it being so beautifully read and to listen to it.
I absolutely loved your disclaimer about it not being completely true/agreed with just because it's in a book! Only a few minutes in and im already gleening so much from this reading. Thank you for sharing!
“God's Plan For Your Marriage: An Exploration of Holy Matrimony from Genesis to the Wedding Feast of the Lamb” By Robert Altier A great Christian book for marriage
I wish one day i will came back to this channel and said the same testimony like am marriage for 20years just the same way peaple are saying ❤❤ but first i trust you God with my marriage that all find her soon
I have been married over 50 years and this reading was awesome. I’m a little sad because I have never heard it explained as well as you did it hear. Young women take heed. Our sister has done a marvelous thing with this reading. Allow this sharing of info to be absorbed and you will have a beautiful relationship. What is the name of the book? God bless you for sharing.
I have this book and totally forgot about it until now. Never read it, so thank you for the reminder. Really enjoyed this book and you just sparked wanting to read it. So interesting to see the outside point of view of relationships, even if all of it does not apply to us. I feel like we can learn a few things from it. 😊
I love that! & yes, oftentimes I used to avoid reading things because I thought - well I’m not struggling in that area, or how can that apply to me, but reality is when we read it does help us in ways we never knew we needed and sometimes helps us for future situations we encounter - we remember what we read and we learn and grow from it 🤍
“Don’t worry about your imperfections, he’s not thinking about them” I wish my wife could see that more often from my perspective. Makes me feel as though I am not helping her see how attractive she is to move.
I would voice it to her. From someone who has been there before, it helped for me to stop worrying about certain areas of my body when husband would tell me again and again that he does not care about said area the way I am thinking of it and that I’m beautiful etc. it helps a female to shut out those negative voices ☺️ hope that helps! 🤍
MANY wives do all of this and more with a pure heart , yet . Pornography addiction thrives in secret and there is NOTHING a wife can do to stop it . Nothing except seek outside help for yourself and pray . If there is a HINT of porn use get outside professional help and do not not put up with it , you are harming yourself and allowing your husband to fall deeper into the trap of satan . 🙏
I have another book recommendation for everyone. I totally believe it is anointed. It’s called God, Sex and Your Marriage by Dr. Juli Slattery. A totally unique perspective on this topic. It’s not a long read but it is packed with truth and a unique spiritual perspective.
I agree with some of this. But if I'm not in the mood he knows there will be other times, and vice versa. We are 58 & 68 sex isn't a huge priority and we are ok with that .
If i may be vulnerable. I have ADHD and some sensory issues. Eg i cannot and will not eat things that are gooey like the inside of a tomato. My husband has gained a lot of weight and now his body is a sensory issue. I honestly feel like I'm being forced to eat tomato goo. It also is now much shorter and doesn't hit the spot. So i get nothing from it. I have gently and not so gently explained this . He says he will lose weight but he hasn't. He says he will join the gym but he hasn't. Yet he still wants me to be frothing at the mouth for him like newly weds. Instead i am repulsed and ashamed of being repulsed. I don't know what to do.
I agree with the previous comment. Prayer 🙏🏽 everyday, multiple times day. Prayer really can change things. The lord knows your heart, bring all of this, to Him. He already knows your thoughts and what you’re going through, don’t be ashamed. Be honest with God and ask him to help you in this area and your husband. I’m sorry you are battling with this. I will be praying for you and your marriage 🤍
Hi, I’m new to your channel. Been married 15 years and have two kids. I’ve been looking for information on this. It was exciting to see a video on this. If you can do more videos of this nature, I would really love it. Also going to check out your other videos and I subscribed. thanks so much.
I remember this book when I was married. I used to pray for a libido to match my husbands,I never got it. I found it extremely difficult to have sex with a verbally abusive husband. However now being divorced maybe he was verbally abusive because I wasn’t doing in that area like he wanted. I will never know and it’s ok. My marriage ended 9 years ago…one day maybe GOD will bless me with a husband.
@@lfernander1980ify I’m sorry to hear that. I do want to say that there’s no excuse for being verbally abusive. Maybe, like you said, he wished more from you in that area, even still, that’s no excuse for being verbally abusive. You should be learning and growing, as we all should, and learning from the past, but don’t think it’s your fault that he treated you so horribly - we are all responsible for our own actions 🩷
Abuse is never justified, according to Scripture. You did nothing to deserve the mistreatment. Your husband mistreated you exclusively because of unrepentant sin in his heart, and that's 100% his responsibility - according to Scripture. May you find healing ❤
How long do I wait for a change in my husbands hard heart. He has put up walls and is seeking divorce and to take away our baby. I need prayer for direction. What do I do?
Hi! Here is the link to the book 🔗 The Power of A Praying Wife a.co/d/c6Tzcpj
@@ahomemakersnotebook Thank you!
@@octaviawilliams3159 🤍
Thank you for uploading. Glad I found your channel. New subscriber❤
Tell the truth about sex
@@IamBlessed-xb9cj thank you for being here 🤍
Why did I start weeping when she prayed to not use sex as a weapon against her husband?? I'm not even married or had sex?
As a man I've grown up with the whole world using sex against me. Ads, marketing, manipulation, shows movies, games, all day everyday.. it just hit me all at once hearing a godly woman just even say those words healed something in me and made me feel a little safer for when I do get married. Godly Women! You are SO important! Do not under value yourself!
Marriage does not fix a porn addiction. No one, not even the best kindest most Godly wife, can save you from porn. It is up to each man to get his act together and decide what is important to him. How will you survive when your wife had her first child? It takes at least 6 weeks to physically recover from labour. How is a man who thinks his wife must perform to keep him from porn, ever going to make it through that recovery period? What about when she is ill? We women have all the guilt heaped upon us when our husbands cannot control their lust and treat sex like something that controls him instead of something he has to gain control over.
Be VERY careful not to make marriage an idol. I did this and it was a scary time. Love the LORD your God with all your mind soul and strength. Seek ye FIRST the the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added to you. You will not be married in heaven. Make heaven your goal. Walking hand in hand with your sweetheart into kingdom. Don't spend your whole life on this. Please put God first and FAR above any other.
Doesn't mean ignore your spouse.
Don't make your "conscience" an idol either. Especially women looking down at men because they consider themselves more spiritual. Female moral superiority supposedly backed by God (but not actually) has done quite a bit of damage to my generation. It's the reason evangelical churches are emptying out.
@@kaitjane3787 True
Marriage matters to God,in Genesis, it's the first thing he made,Jesus's first miracle was at a wedding, and revelation reveals the wedding supper...
Our view of marriage has to change,we need to look at each other through the eyes of God...marriage is the only thing on earth that depicts christ and the church!!! No wonder even submission is in reverence to God...
Marriage is the most powerful tool to bring Gods kingdom down... Look for ways you and your spouse can serve God together...
May God heal the broken marriages represented here and expose the enemies deception in the name of Jesus Christ...
And everything that brings fear has not been perfected in the love of God....God created marriage and sex but Satan has perverted it to the extent that it seems unholy....Marriage is a platform to serve God
Good advice. Thank you! I've been married 27 years. And with 8 children, it was a challenge to carve out time for intimacy. But it was worth it!! Please remember, ladies, God created the gift of sex for us as well as our husbands. One thing that my husband has shared, is that as a man ages, sex becomes more emotional for the man as well. Again evidence that God has a plan for those aging bodies.😊
Bless your comment ! My husband of 37 yrs just passed away . For couple yrs he seemed to change . He had prostate issues his Dr didn't insist he have enlarged gland removed just increased dosage . He wasn't communicating well but ppl thought it was working late nights & growing old . I'm telling you this bcs your husband sharing it's more emotional now as he ages with you his wife married longer brings me comfort. My husband's cancer diagnoses went to his brain. He lived 2 mons ! Knowing I'll never know bcs of his illness cancer silent for yrs no obvious symptoms hearing your comment touched my heart for me to believe my husband wasn't able share intimacy anymore physically knowing he felt emotional intimacy means alot to me . For he lost ability to talk express his thoughts I hurt . I wanted more than anything for my husband to know before he died that I truly loved him ! Thx for saying :))
@@autumnleaves9680 So sorry for your loss. I am thankful that my comment encouraged you. I'll be praying for you.
@@lesliemckinley9615
It shows we never know what our words will have an impact for good or for ill. Your marriage is enduring as our vows were meant to be before God and those witnessing our commitment of love for each other as husband & wife!
Bless you I pray too for you that God will cont to keep you healthy & happy!
@autumnleaves9680 Thank you! Actually, my husband's health is not good. He is seeking disability and I am returning to the workforce. But God is sustaining us. And as you say, we are honoring our vows.
Believe me, we’ve been married 53 years. Of course our children are grown up and gone. Our intimacy now is better and stronger than ever. Hang in there honey, it just gets better when you have a relationship with God and each other.
I just finished reading this book for the 2nd time in my marriage. We've been married 25 years, and I feel like it is always good to be praying over your marriage! ❤
Amen! Prayer is so powerful 🤍
The power of a praying wife book is so good!
It is!
I'm 3 months married and love this wisdom and the prayers. There's certainly a lot to learn in marriage but the journey is so worth it and exciting.
Same. I am fighting the feeling of disinterest so he can stay fulfilled. I have to be praying to prepare but the additional advice in this chapter was really helpful
My mother gave this book to me when I got married 21 years ago.
I’ve read it twice over the years and I’ve often incorporated the prayers into my days from time to time.
That book triggered me!
Not for those Christian women married to a narcissist. Don’t feel bad if that’s you and this chapter makes you cringe.
I raised and homeschooled 8 kids and was married 30 years to an unbelieving and unloving covert narc and was just a body to have sex with.
Praise God, truly, not all marriages are like that because that is not normal or healthy and if you are married to such a person, it’s not you. You are probably not a frigid wife. You just are not genuinely loved, and I’m so sorry about that for you, and pray God will restore all the years the locust have eaten and turn your ashes into a beautiful garden. Trust God in everything. 💕
God restored and is restoring me. He has taught me many things about the beauty of sex and now I can listen to this chapter and not feel the guilt and shame of “being a bad wife,” and for that I’m so thankful to God.
Are you still married to your narc husband?
@ Are you a pedophile?
Thanks for your vulnerability
Thank you for sharing this. I was so triggered I started to cry that if I don't want to give up my body like that anytime he wants it I'm displeasing God and a bad wife. I was going to close it and just felt the same guilt I've felt my whole life that I'm a bad person and displeasing God and everyone else through things I can't help until I read your message. Thank you for being honest enough to share that. It really helped me.
Yea as someone who experienced SA in the past, this terminology definitely triggered me. These were words my narc ex used to use towards me. Such a backwards way to think about it. If you love something, you take care of it.
Not the wife needing to take 20 mins to mentally prepare herself for torture. How about the husband taking 20 mins to talk to the wife about what is wrong and why she is so tired, and then doing something to take a load off of her the next day? Crazy concept.
I agree with the 15 minute or however long it takes to feel "relaxed and ready" is so key! I think that should include whatever it takes for you personally to feel relaxed and ready which is so individual. At least for my husband, that seems to be what he wants from me more than being dolled or perfumed up. He just wants a ready and willing and relaxed and happy wife! If it takes dimming the lights to reduce stimulation, getting a hot shower to ease the day's aches and pains, putting on relaxing music (we've even just used nature sounds in the background lol!) Or hey if going all out with prep makes someone relaxed, that's great too! Thanks for these good reminders!
I can say as a husband that we also don’t want you to feel like getting ready to be with us is a chore to put on your list. We don’t want you to say “Great. Now I have to get cleaned up and put on makeup because he wants my attention.” We honestly just want to help you relax. We’re simple creatures. This activity makes us feel better, and we want you to feel better with us. All we want is a partner who wants to be there with us. Sometimes you demonstrate that by getting dolled up for us. Sometimes, it sounds like “I have 15 minutes of energy left, but they’re all yours. Put me to sleep with a smile on my face.”
Beautiful. It really is so hard not to become complacent. Thank you for your honesty. We have two littles and it's so easy to say, "I'm tired, not tonight." The "15 minute let me take a shower" bit is life changing. In one of my Bible studies a few weeks ago, we touched on this.
Thank you for your honesty.
Thank you so much! I agree with the shower being a game changer on some days!
Sex is the expression of the love you both have for one another. It's something that should come naturally because of the love in each other's hearts. When you love someone it's not seen as a duty, you just want to express that love. The reason why people have some many issues when it comes to this is because of people viewing sex as something that's sinful, carnal, dirty, and using their partner to fulfill selfish needs when in reality sex is spiritual, loving, trusting, and giving when you have the love of God in your heart. It's that simple...
Amen!! When someone uses it to just get a release, it’s so destructive 😢
Amen !
I agree. I had SA in my past and am a single mom now. I was content being celibate the rest of my life just from the trauma from that. Dating terrified me when men would basically expect to use your body in that way in marriage. Just even the terminology used in this video makes it feel gross.
When my now fiance asked for exclusivity, I told him I wasn't sure I could perform in that way, and that he was better off looking for another girl. I told him about the SA. At that point, we had prayed together a few times, and I trusted him with my heart. He told me at least let me protect you and your son, and if we don't do that it will be ok. The relief I felt was indescribable.
As our relationship grew, we began praying together daily. Now it is hard to resist getting cuddly afterwards. 5 months to go to the wedding and I'm actually looking forward to that with him. With any other man, it would be a torture.
You shouldn't need special clothes or anything else to excite your partner. To my fiance and I, the possibility of children and our hearts laid bare to each other is all it takes.
Golden chapter indeed!✨️ 💛
You have a soothing voice. More content like this would be good. 👍 📚 ✝️
The way that you still look at your husband after 6yrs of marriage ❤ and the way he greets you is what I wish I still had and it’s only been 4yrs for me😢
6 years pretty short. 20 years is something else tho
Keep in mind that marriages are not linear. If you feel like the "spark" has died down, there are ways of rekindling. You just need to be willing to put in the work, and hopefully your husband will start to do the same. ❤️
@@realestaterealness3828 aw 🤍please know this is not how he greets me all the time when he gets home. I urge you to try not to compare your relationship with the brief interaction you witnessed of me and my husband.
I would recommend you talk with your husband. Explain to him how it would make you feel if he greeted you differently. Communicate ways you feel loved and ask him what you can do to also help him feel more loved.
Great relationships take a lot of communicating together, learning and growing 💜
Praying for you 🩷
@@ahomemakersnotebook I agree with your statement. @realestaterealness Communicating and speak up about how you feel and what you expect from your husband to him can make a such a huge impact. I usually have so much assumptions after assumptions jn my mind when I can't express how I feel about how my husband treat me. And most of the time my assumptions were all wrong. Turned out to be totally different cause from what I thot. And remember! The evil one can and will always try to play trick on you. Bring rings in prayer to God too.
God can redeem ANY situation! When I got pregnant with our 4th baby, we went a solid year and a half with having sex maybe 5 times during that time. About a year ago, we finally hit our breaking point and had to ask if we were still in this marriage together. It took one conversation to completely change the trajectory of our marriage!
I can now see where I failed as a wife during that time and with God, our marriage has never been better. It starts with you. Pray. Serve your husband. Leave resentment and selfishness aside. God sees you and He knows exactly what your marriage needs. Sorry that was so long! I just wanted to share that there is hope! God sees you!
Wow, these thoughts are amazing! Nobody teaches them to young people these days. I'm a 33 year old guy. I hope that I find a girl who embodies these Godly principles of marriage. Unfortunately, such people are rare in this age. Thank you for sharing!
I have a long term illness. It is like having babies one right after another, I am in pain, always exhausted, and have zero drive. I also have am overactive sense of guilt. This has become The problem. Please pray for me. Thank you for sharing thia lovely word.
@@ChucknRachelN I have endometriosis and PCOS and interstitial cystitis. I completely understand! There's absolutely been times where I would have to allow my hubby access and really mentally try to enjoy myself. I also am sore for days afterwards. I take an herbal supplement for pain and it has saved my life! It helps so much. I know it sounds cliche, but a change of mindset really helps me to focus on him and the pleasure he and I both need.
@@ChucknRachelN I am so sorry to hear about your pain and illness. My heart breaks for you 💔 i know what it’s like to have an illness for years that is incurable because doctors don’t know what it is or what’s causing the fatigue, pain etc.
I spent months crying out to God. Asking why. Praying. Reading his word. Claiming his promises then feeling like nothing was working and he wasn’t going to heal me soon enough. I’ve been through it all.
I now am a living testimony that God is the ultimate physician and I am basically healed. I used to not be able to get out of bed until 12 some days because I was in so much pain just to “sit up”.
I wouldn’t wish what I went through on anyone.
I know it’s hard. I will keep you in my prayers ❤️ Our God is a God of miracles 🙌🏽 believe it. Claim his healing over your body and life.
You will get through this in Jesus name 🙌🏽
in Jesus' Mighty Name, AMEN ❣️❤️🔥praying in agreement. You are the Ultimate doctor Lord Jesus-- we believe, help our unbelief ❤️🩹 @ahomemakersnotebook
@@shelleyroper588 I'm unclear why you would want to participate, if it leaves you sore for days afterwards? Also unclear why your husband would want to inflict such soreness on you, let alone take pleasure himself from doing so? Is it a type of sadomasochism?
Dear Lord I pray for her and marriage..renew her strength and restore her body and mind...I cover her with the blood of Jesus christ Amen
I personally thought this was perfect! I needed this reminder that we are not our own. And being in a marriage of 16 years we have come a long way. So I do cherish this courage that it took you to come out here and share with us. It’s important for us to remember we are honoring and serving our Father as we honor and serve our husbands and there is such a unique gift in this particular gift! Thank you!
What if your husband is a verbally and in the past physically abusive narcissis? How do you honer and respect that ?
@@bonnipeat1351 thank you so much 🩷 yes, I love that you said that we are honoring and serving our Father as we honor and serve our husbands 🔥🔥🥰
@@marisoltorres3 I would recommend you to get help, and seek wise counsel. The Lord does not want you to be abused. You are his cherished daughter ❤️ I will be praying for you.
@@marisoltorres3you are a daughter of the King, He delights in you.
I would have stayed in my abusive marriage honouring my vows continuing to be mistreated, but God made a way for me to leave and live in peace.
I now write about my experiences using poetry to help others.
I will pray for you 🙏
As someone on the other side of this who have had discussions with other men.
1. Your husband wants you to be eager and pleased and for you to want to be with him. That intimacy is more important than the physical act.
2. Speak clearly and explicitly about what it will take to get there for yourself not just for him. He wants sex/intimacy to be for you too. If you don't know what that is make time to figure it out with yourself, even if that means you need him to take 10 minutes of covering kids to give you peace to figure that out.
3. For most men i have talked too, sex is more about the energy and excitement. Determine what you are ok with. For example, telling him it is late at night and you don't want to have intercourse right now lets plan on X night and you will be mentally prepared but tonight you are willing to lay naked with him and kiss him and hold him/be held but it needs to stop there to look forward to anticipating x date.
Your husband doesn't want sex to be duty sex and to be an item on your list. That hurts both of you. Instead communicate clearly and without blame about what you need for it to be about both of you. Because while it is not a need the lack of interest and desire can and will kill a marriage, as will have duty sex over years and years and shoving those feelings down or creating walls to any of that intimacy.
I say this because far too many Christian womaen hear this message it is your duty so just do it and that message causes unbelievable pain when carried through maturity as well as the hardening of the heart and resentment and potentially even the belief there was trauma as 20 years down the road your mind tells you your husband should have known it was only duty sex you provided and agreed to and you see him as less than for being willing to accept it which causes lots and lots of pain.
Dear women, please don't put pressure on you to have sex with your husband, if you don't feel comfortable. A man has to learn to love his wife well, so that she WANTS to have sex with him. If that's not the case, sex will never be what it was designed from God to be. God would never want women to just endure it!
@@christina8330a lot of women think they’re “enduring it” when he hasn’t got her in the mood ‘enough’ yet, or the kids were really loud today, or she’s too tired tonight, or there’s a long day tomorrow, or her feet are sore, or her back had an ache and she had to take Tylenol, or she woke up at 3am, or the toddler didn’t have a nap today so she didn’t have a nap today, or you didn’t text her “I love you” after you left home for work, or you forgot to take the garbage to the road last week and she’s still thinking about it, or innumerable other things that make it simply impossible and insufferable to gratify you with (gasp) sex. You should know better by now the conditions have to be right, you don’t simply deserve love because you’re a married man you silly goose!
spot on.
This is so true and important to understand. I’ve been slowly learning these things during my marriage, especially during seasons of breastfeeding babies, when the hormones involved really stifle my desire for my husband, unfortunately. It’s taken lots of careful communication, but I have discovered just how much my lack of interest & enthusiasm will crush my husband’s spirit. Planning a night to have sex really helps because I can mentally prepare, and then we both look forward to it.
It's a very important subject, particularly for elders, since perimenopause came to visit and on the edge of menopause, my energy levels and openness/availability wane during the month, other times they are quite high, hormonally women vary tremendously throughout the day and generally a man's levels are pretty static, it's something the biblical man didn't ever write about, and women had to grin and bear it, particularly if there was only stimulation for the male and the woman had to be 'ready' for her partner. Women's bodies are not always available and that's something I only learned after 45. Times change, we become better educated, I pray there are also books men will read too on how to pray for their wives and be the best husband to their partners.
Not to be mean, but don't forget the Bible says not to deprive one another as well so you're not tempted to sin, so you have a duty to make sure your husband is taken care of, otherwise you'll just be in one of those sexless marriages and soon become nothing but roommates.
I'm so glad you posted this even though it was your "usual" type of video. This is the first video of yours that I've come across and I'm so glad I did. I'm recently single, not exactly by choice and I've experienced sexual sins in the past. I'm learning to heal from it so that my next (and hopefully last) relationship will be free from the guilt and shame. I really enjoyed this chapter. It gave me good, biblical, and helpful ideas of what sex God's way really means. I always thought once one was married, this area of life would be easy and impossible to mess up in. I'm glad I know now God still has His good and perfect way in this stage of life too.
I wish all the Christian wives will listen to this or watch this video and build a good christian home.
Your prayer is very powerful and your husband is very bless to have you as his wife. You too must be very bless to have him as your husband😊
God bless you and your family❤
I am indeed very blessed to have my husband 🤍 thank you!
Such a helpful message. I'm currently dating for marriage and I love hearing God's perspective and will for it. I would like to hear more from that book. Thanks for the encouragement...Love your videos ❤😊
Thank you so much for sharing this. I picked up the book a few days ago but I haven’t continued it since then. I’m glad I came across this video and I have subscribed to your channel. Yes, I loved this and would like you to continue this type of videos where you read a chapter in a book that has helped you as a biblical wife/mother.
This was really good counsel! Asking for 15 minutes is a great tip. I normally need to cool down from overstimulation, so that's a nice way to get time to relax while getting fresh.
@@jackiebunting4000 yes! I agree, some days are really full on and after the kids go down I need a minute before thinking or doing anything else of the sort 😅 so hopping in the shower helps me relax and get fresh like you said 😌
Thank you for this video. Its not just for the wives, but for the husbands as well.
@@jeffrow182255 part 2 I’m working on is going to be even more for husbands also ☺️
These are marriage saving scriptures!
Thank you, "Sister in Christ"!
❤️
Wonderful video! You are so wise for your age. When I was first married, I confess I often pretended to be asleep. I have been married 29 years now and though things have "ebbed and flowed" in this area, I have only just begun to pray seriously about it and that has made the difference. Your reading of this chapter has brought me new clarity, so thank you. Blessings on you and your beautiful family!
Thank you for this. I’ll be honest as a wife in waiting this does make me a bit uncomfortable but Gd has chosen creators like you to share insights with us and help us truly understand what’s ahead as we seek the LORD and covenant promises. I appreciate that you’re helping me with the growing pains.. hehe. Shalom
“God's Plan For Your Marriage: An Exploration of Holy Matrimony from Genesis to the Wedding Feast of the Lamb” By Robert Altier
A great Christian book for marriage
This was an awesome video! My favorite part was seeing your husband come up behind you and wrap his arms around you-it was so sweet and loving. It makes me even more excited for my marriage with my fiancé. Thank you for sharing; I loved the video and just subscribed. God bless you!☦️❤️
This is good! And true, I have learned over the years and it truly makes a difference in my relationship with my spouse and with God❤
Love this style of video. Please make more where you share chapters of different books!
I am 53 years old postmenopausal married 31 years. This is something I needed! Thank you for sharing it and I've ordered the book! And my morning Bible reading. I actually read this passage yesterday! Perfect timing as always
You have me almost tear up, …thanks for citing scripture, I was not aware of some of these… geep going please!
1st time watcher & WOW! Loved all the biblical knowledge you were reading. Its was a nice reminder for me & my marriage ❤
@@jenn8815 I’m so glad your here 🤍 thank you so much, yesss I love that 🩷 when I picked the book up the other day there was no area I was struggling with my marriage so I’m like hmmmm let’s see what we have here 😌 and I read this chapter and I’m like wow. I didn’t even realize how much of a good reminder that was. Thank you Lord 🙌🏽
I enjoyed listening however before my husband and I married he expressed his need for respect and that if we aren’t spiritually connected then he doesn’t get turned on by an individual and cannot make love in the bedroom. He is still this way till this day and I will say I’m grateful because if he doesn’t feel respected as a man he can feel like a failure surely.. I will say I understand when one marries into a marriage not equally yoked and I know how hard that must be because of all the challenges one has to face 🙏
Thank you so much for this video! Truly from the bottom of my heart. I have struggled to understand this topic for so many years. After this video you have confirmed what the lord has put in my heart. Thank you!
@@Cindhypallares praise God ! I’m so glad it resonated well with you 🤍
Thank you for this.. so many women struggle in this area and I’m one of them ❤ it brought clarity and understanding
The Wife has authority over the Husbands body and he is not to deprive her of himself. Unless "himself" means hes a sex machine, this is not just talking about sex. He is not to deprive her of non sexual affection, his time, attention in public, his conversation, HIS HEART. Woman - YOU ARE NOT COMMANDED BY GOD TO BE SEX MACHINES FOR YOUR HUSBANDS. HE IS COMMANDED TO KNOW YOU AND TO LEAVE HIS PARENTS AND CLING TO YOU. As the Leader of their home, sex needs to be prioritized with ALL THESE THINGS.
Amen!!
Amen! Thank you for this comment.
I think you might be missing the point of this particular passage: it really is about physical intimacy in the marriage relationship. In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul clearly sets up a physical-intimacy-context in vv.1-2, and in v. 3 he gives a Present-tense, Imperative, Active command "he must fulfill" in reference to that intimacy. Vv. 4-5 show us that authority of the other's "body" is explicitly stated for both husbands and wives. The verb, "deprive not," is, again, in a Present-tense, Imperative, Active command to all husbands and wives. These verb types in Greek are not (to my knowledge) the most aggressively imperative, but they're still a very strong command. Later on in v.5 the Greek can translate out "so that you all might be at leisure" or "so that you all might stand empty" to pray. So, in other words, the leisure/emptiness here seems to be suggesting to take a break from routine, normal activity to move toward a wholehearted devotion of prayer. Lastly, Paul gives literally a half verse here for breaking apart from this union and then immediately returns to it for the spouses' own goods. It's clear that it's talking exclusively about physical intimacy within marriage and making sure we don't stray from regular intimacy with our spouses.
Please, don't misunderstand what I'm saying as an attack to you or to what you've written and expressed. I am in agreement with much of what you've said. I'm responding because of the remark, "this is not just talking about sex." We must not be so quick to impose our thoughts onto one particular text when other passages in His holy Word do a good job bearing out the ideas you've brought up within a more appropriate context and with better conviction/conclusions in those passages. This particular text just doesn't bear out the ideas you're suggesting. Ephesians 5 is a FANTASTIC resource for keeping men in checks/balances with their burden to die daily for their wives.
The Bible doesn't definitively spell out frequency. I suspect (I'm happy to be wrong) He has graciously given us biology and simply knowing our spouses well in order to discern, with full wisdom from the Word, how we ought to function in our marriages. I will say, though, the language of the Greek seems to be more heavy on the higher frequency side of things--and I could be totally biased because I'm a man, but that's just to the best of my ability to understand the passage. I'm happy to walk through some of those terms in detail if you'd like to see how I'm drawing conclusions on that, but some of it has been stated above, particularly with the contrasting language of "leisure/emptiness." No, wives aren't supposed to be sex machines, but both husbands and wives have "duty" that must not be neglected, according to his Present-tense, Imperative, Active language.
May the men who watch this video or even read this comment grasp living with their wives in an understanding way and loving them by dying to themselves. May they be strong and hold their wives up to the high biblical standards that God has called them to. Wash them with the Word. Love them to death. Help them live how God wants them to. And, like the praying wife, pray for them.
@trevorkurzhal7273 I haven't misunderstood, and my point still remains. Respectfully, I am referencing The King James version, which states "Defraud ye not one another" except it be with consent for a time that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer.
Whether you are giving yourselves to each other or to God with fasting and prayer, you are not giving sex. You are giving intimacy.
Intimacy in Hebrew is to "BE FULLY KNOWN" It is NOT referencing just the body. It includes your whole self, body, mind, and soul. Therefore the command not to deprive your Spouse of yourself is a direct command to give yourself COMPLETELY- This includes your conversation, your time, your affection, your heart. If you are not giving your Spouse ALL of you...then you are disobeying the command.
The very reason to set aside time for fasting and prayer is so you can then give God ALL OF YOU. Because you cannot devote all of yourself to both at once.
@@justice4all977 let me help you read the text in its entirety and explain
1 Corinthians 7:1-5 nkjv
Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
So let’s look at the message in its entirety and in simple biblical context.
It starts out saying it’s better to not have sexual relations with a woman but because of sexual immorality but Paul says it’s better to get married and fulfill your marital duty. What is marital duty? Let’s look at the next verse. It says the husband and wife do not have authority over what? There own what? He uses the term bodies .“bodies” does not mean emotional, or anything else that’s referring to the physical intimate body of a person. The wife and husband are to yield there body to each other because if you stop that’s when the new beautiful woman at the office starts giving your husband the attention and satan uses the bait in the marriage for its destruction. Hope his helps and god bless you
Great and useful video! I loved the interaction between you and your hubby. It was so tender and sweet and you just glowed when he came in. I pray that my marriage would find that joy again in many ways.
Thanks for sharing this and I for one would definitely be interested in hearing more like this. I like Stormie Omartian (the author of the book you referenced) and the many other books on praying for different relationships.
Yes keep reading this book . Love the calmness in your voice and it’s a great reminder of God’s expectations of a Godly wife. God Help us all Amen
I like the Biblical stance on sex in marriage. If your wife wants it; give it. If your husband wants it; give it. Zero selfishness, taking care of eachothers needs as you promised. If you married somebody with a higher/lower libido than you’re comfortable with; your fault.
Couples that treat intimacy like some privilege to withhold from their spouse when they’re angry or “not feeling it” end up dissatisfied and divorced.
Thank you for this reading, I needed it. I actually have the book, and will use it more and pray better. Thank you again
I've been listening to this on repeat for the past few days. Just trying to really absorb it all. Thank you so much for sharing!
@@brendabeans4986 wow 🙌🏽 so glad it’s touched your heart 🤍
I remember reading this book, or part of it anyway, and the advice to never say no, but ask them to wait a few minutes while we do something to prepare ourselves, has always stuck with me. ❤ Now, I don't remember the author or what the rest of the book says, but I have a genuine question... the author seems to say that if women don't want to, well, we just need to.... but, if men don't want to, well, we need to be understanding and look at it from various perspectives and consider a medical problem? That doesn't seem equal on both sides. If we women are to just make ourselves do it, because of satisfying our husbands needs, then, in the cases where the wife has more desire than the men, why aren't men also instructed to just make themselves do it and satisfy their wives? Conversely, if we are to consider all the other things that may be keeping them from desiring it, then why aren't they instructed to investigate those areas of our lives too? Or perhaps they are, and I either missed you saying that, or perhaps the author does say that in the book. I hope so. ❤❤
@@katieyungen1647 I hear you, husbands should be doing the same 🤍 however with this book and other book that talk specifically to wives, that’s just it. They are talking to us. So to say their husband should do xyz isn’t really helping if the husband himself isn’t reading the book - you know what I mean? So I think this author is just focusing on what we have the power to do. What is our part - we have control over that much.
Does that make sense? 🥰
@@ahomemakersnotebookyes, thankyou! I would think (hope, anyway) that a book written to men would say the same...
It’s because most marriage advice is biased in favor of men whether it’s talking about sexuality or any other aspect of marriage. The wife needs to sacrifice her needs and body but the man doesn’t need to. That’s why it seems unbalanced. Because it is.
@@BobisworldI always thought it was because his sacrifice was in his labour for his fanily as the majority of men are blue collar workers who work in often dirty, tiring and dangerous conditions and they also work more hours than women in also to support us. They also have to lay down their life for us if and when the time comes. Many men work their whole lives away for their families even if they dont like their job for their families. Isnt this a sacrifice of the body?
Thank you for sharing, really appreciate that. It's exactly what I needed to hear. Please make more videos on it.
Thank you so much for this topic. Is much needed 😌. God bless your home. Marriage and family life in the name of Jesus.
LOVED this video! I just organically found your page, and after some digging - I realized you were the sweet sister who privately emailed me awhile back. Subscribed! You're doing an amazing job growing your channel! And you inspired me to break out some books that I have gone highlighter happy in recently
@@AnnaDysett Thank you so much Anna 🥰 Yes that was me 🫶🏽 we have to look out for each other 😊 the channel growth is all Gods doing 🙌🏽 I see yours too! When I first started following you, you had around 7k and that was only a few months ago! Praise the Lord! it’s always nice to connect with other sisters in Christ on similar journeys 🤍 glad your here !
Yesss girl!!! My best friend and I love this book and will often read each other chapters together! Such a great reminder
@@simplylivingmama Wow no way, Thats awesome! I love that 🤍
This was a good video, I feel like I learned something, and the tips on how to make yourself in the mood are gold !!!
This was great and informative! Would absolutely LOVE to see you talk more on this book and this topic! It is SOOOOOOOO important for a marriage! ❤
Thank you so much! Will do :)
Loved it. Lost my 1st marriage over misunderstanding this area. Great style of video!!
You can definitely do another reading of this book😊 Been looking for ways to pray over my marriage
This was powerful and y'all are CUTE. Thank you for the video :)
I almost didn’t watch this because I thought this was another over spiritualize video on TH-cam. But I’m glad I did watch and was proven wrong. This was a great video.
@@lateyshasmith8573 thank you 😊 glad you stayed 🤍
I just love how your smile lingered after he left the room. Yes! Now I have to dig out my copy of said book 😊
You caught that ☺️ Im so grateful he’s mine ❤️
Oooh you have the book already? Yessss 🙌🏽
Thank you ma’am ❤️
I enjoyed your reading and the homemaking too!
Thank you ❤️
I so glad tht i found your channel is so good to know about this before i step to my new chapter God Bless you m your beautiful family's...keep upload more videos it really good information especially because the word of God you at in it❤❤
Thank you for this video, i enjoyed the reading and appreciate your commentary. I am not a wife yet, in YAHUAHS will, i pray that i am chosen to be a wife. This video was very insightful and although i knew of this vaguely, it was nice to hear it being so beautifully read and to listen to it.
I absolutely loved your disclaimer about it not being completely true/agreed with just because it's in a book! Only a few minutes in and im already gleening so much from this reading. Thank you for sharing!
Love this book and I absolutely love this style of video. Thank you for reading this chapter of the book.
“God's Plan For Your Marriage: An Exploration of Holy Matrimony from Genesis to the Wedding Feast of the Lamb” By Robert Altier
A great Christian book for marriage
@@gloriaa.2442 I will look it up thank you!
I haven’t even watched this video yet but YESSSSS to this topic, whatever you share I know it will be a fruitful message!
@@mrsdaisymama love you girl 🥹🫶🏽
I said the same thing!
I second this!!!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
@@MarquittaY 🥹🫶🏽
@@23flowerpower Yall really know how to touch my heart 🥹❤️
I wish one day i will came back to this channel and said the same testimony like am marriage for 20years just the same way peaple are saying ❤❤ but first i trust you God with my marriage that all find her soon
I love the dress and hairstyle btw ❤️ beautiful!
I have been married over 50 years and this reading was awesome. I’m a little sad because I have never heard it explained as well as you did it hear. Young women take heed. Our sister has done a marvelous thing with this reading. Allow this sharing of info to be absorbed and you will have a beautiful relationship. What is the name of the book? God bless you for sharing.
charlenecalvin9066, the book is called, "The Power Of A Praying Wife".😊❤
I have this book and totally forgot about it until now. Never read it, so thank you for the reminder. Really enjoyed this book and you just sparked wanting to read it. So interesting to see the outside point of view of relationships, even if all of it does not apply to us. I feel like we can learn a few things from it. 😊
I love that! & yes, oftentimes I used to avoid reading things because I thought - well I’m not struggling in that area, or how can that apply to me, but reality is when we read it does help us in ways we never knew we needed and sometimes helps us for future situations we encounter - we remember what we read and we learn and grow from it 🤍
“Don’t worry about your imperfections, he’s not thinking about them” I wish my wife could see that more often from my perspective. Makes me feel as though I am not helping her see how attractive she is to move.
I would voice it to her. From someone who has been there before, it helped for me to stop worrying about certain areas of my body when husband would tell me again and again that he does not care about said area the way I am thinking of it and that I’m beautiful etc. it helps a female to shut out those negative voices ☺️ hope that helps! 🤍
MANY wives do all of this and more with a pure heart , yet . Pornography addiction thrives in secret and there is NOTHING a wife can do to stop it . Nothing except seek outside help for yourself and pray . If there is a HINT of porn use get outside professional help and do not not put up with it , you are harming yourself and allowing your husband to fall deeper into the trap of satan . 🙏
I liked this video! Thanks for sharing😁
@@laurenhurley9077 I’m so glad to hear! Thanks for taking time to listen 🩷
I have another book recommendation for everyone. I totally believe it is anointed. It’s called God, Sex and Your Marriage by Dr. Juli Slattery. A totally unique perspective on this topic. It’s not a long read but it is packed with truth and a unique spiritual perspective.
@@kateeeh3795 I’ll have to look it up. Thank you for sharing!
Read all of it please. What a gem of a book
Great insight! I enjoyed listening to this video. I always love biblical direction for being a wife!
I needed to hear this! Thank you so much for sharing.
Yes ❤thanks for sharing! God created it and blessed our marriages with this good gift!
@@Abeautifulmundanelife amen!
Love the video and its style, thank you so much. We need more conversations about sex as wives because it can be really challenging
I'm so glad you liked this video! I agree! Thank you for your feedback :)
Thank you so much sis I really appreciate it please do more! God Bless you and your family! 🙏🏾💕
You are so welcome 🙏🏽 Thank you! God bless 🫶🏽
This truly helped me, thank you so much ❤
Taking a minuet to get dolled up is so helpful and I also highly recommend ♥
Great content! This is an often neglected subject and needs to be talked about.
@@JubileeHomesteading thank you! I agree 💜
I agree with some of this. But if I'm not in the mood he knows there will be other times, and vice versa. We are 58 & 68 sex isn't a huge priority and we are ok with that .
I love that you are both on the same page because that is what matters most! :)
Can we all agree that being a “good” wife does not earn us a spot in heaven. It is because of Jesus not because of what we did or are doing.
This video was in no way saying that being a good wife will earn us our salvation 🙂
Youwish34 sounds like a bitter person. Anything to complain about...that has nothing to do with this video.
I love this!!!
I’m so glad 🫶🏽
If i may be vulnerable. I have ADHD and some sensory issues. Eg i cannot and will not eat things that are gooey like the inside of a tomato.
My husband has gained a lot of weight and now his body is a sensory issue. I honestly feel like I'm being forced to eat tomato goo. It also is now much shorter and doesn't hit the spot. So i get nothing from it.
I have gently and not so gently explained this . He says he will lose weight but he hasn't. He says he will join the gym but he hasn't. Yet he still wants me to be frothing at the mouth for him like newly weds. Instead i am repulsed and ashamed of being repulsed.
I don't know what to do.
Pray ❤. The Lord is able to help you and your husband. Just pray.
I agree with the previous comment. Prayer 🙏🏽 everyday, multiple times day. Prayer really can change things. The lord knows your heart, bring all of this, to Him. He already knows your thoughts and what you’re going through, don’t be ashamed. Be honest with God and ask him to help you in this area and your husband. I’m sorry you are battling with this. I will be praying for you and your marriage 🤍
I loved this , I want this book !! But I very much enjoyed your readings. Thank you , Bless you.
Stormie omartion wrote that...great book.❤...thanks for sharing this topic
Yes! Thank you ☺️ 🩷
Great video and great book!
Thanks so much for sharing i love your content. It is very encouraging may God continue to use you
Thank you so much 🤍
Loved this video! I have been wanting to purchase this book and just ordered it after watching your video!
@@alexismaewaterman wow that’s awesome confirmation 🤍
Hi, I’m new to your channel. Been married 15 years and have two kids. I’ve been looking for information on this. It was exciting to see a video on this. If you can do more videos of this nature, I would really love it. Also going to check out your other videos and I subscribed. thanks so much.
Hi! I’m so glad you enjoyed it! I plan to make more like this 🥰❤️ yay to 15 years that’s awesome 👏🏽
I remember this book when I was married. I used to pray for a libido to match my husbands,I never got it. I found it extremely difficult to have sex with a verbally abusive husband. However now being divorced maybe he was verbally abusive because I wasn’t doing in that area like he wanted. I will never know and it’s ok. My marriage ended 9 years ago…one day maybe GOD will bless me with a husband.
@@lfernander1980ify I’m sorry to hear that. I do want to say that there’s no excuse for being verbally abusive. Maybe, like you said, he wished more from you in that area, even still, that’s no excuse for being verbally abusive. You should be learning and growing, as we all should, and learning from the past, but don’t think it’s your fault that he treated you so horribly - we are all responsible for our own actions 🩷
Please don’t blame yourself or lack or libido for his abuse. Absolutely not your fault
Abuse is never justified, according to Scripture. You did nothing to deserve the mistreatment. Your husband mistreated you exclusively because of unrepentant sin in his heart, and that's 100% his responsibility - according to Scripture. May you find healing ❤
@@kalyn3250 that’s the truth
Yeah this isn’t ok
Amazing video. This is a now word for me. Subscribed . God bless you Sister 🙏🏾
@@antoniaizuebe7228 thank you so much! So glad it touched your heart 🤍
Beautiful video, I have subscribed! Thank you!
@@reine-elodiekoffi96 thank you so much ☺️
This was good advice. Thank you for talking to us.
Thank you for listening 🤍
1st time finding your channel. Great video. I enjoyed it and learned.
Thank you for being here 🩷
Thank you so much for sharing that great information from the book. I needed it. God bless you ❤
I’m so glad it was helpful!
Indeed, sister ❤
Such an important reminder❤
Yes! ✨💜
Love this!!! Thanks for the reminder and encouragement!!❤
You are so welcome!🙏🏽
How long do I wait for a change in my husbands hard heart. He has put up walls and is seeking divorce and to take away our baby. I need prayer for direction. What do I do?
I am truly thankful for this video.