Lonely vs. Being Alone
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ส.ค. 2024
- Being alone does not necessarily mean that you’re feeling lonely. Some people quite enjoy the experience of solitude and prefer it over being in large groups. But over time, does that disconnection lead to chronic loneliness?
In this episode of #GayMenGoingDeeper, we’re exploring the difference between being alone and the feeling of loneliness. We’ll cover topics such as:
- What’s the difference between loneliness and being alone?
- What roles does introversion or extroversion play in feeling lonely?
- How do you know when you’ve had too much alone time?
- How do you come back to connection if the feelings of loneliness start to creep up?
Join us to get a deeper understanding of how your introversion or extroversion can impact your experience of loneliness.
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I feel most alone when I am around people I cannot connect with. In cases like that I would much rather just not be around people.
Same. My entire life.
Thank you, as always. It took me a long time for me "not to need anyone " and to be happy in my own skin. I have always loved my friends...and still do...but I now love myself. If I feel that loneliness is creeping in.....I say "I am not going there today". I have found that an hour of daily yoga works wonders for me. I guess that I am an introvert...loving freedom.....but then can be an extrovert with the friends that I love. Thanks again Matt, Michael and Calan....love your podcasts....James xxx
Thanks so much for the support!
Great episode guys! I have been single and alone for 15 years now. I love my alone time. I have a group of friends that I am comfortable being with for those times I need to get out of the house. I tell people if they are feeling lonely, just spend 15 minutes at a Walmart! I guarantee that appreciation for alone time will resurface! I'm older and retired, so socializing like you younger guys doest seem quite as necessary. It's the " been there, done that" feeling that helps me being comfortable alone.
So glad that you all discussed this topic! I think culture/ society in general fails to appreciate introversion as there is constant presure to be "social." And I totally want to agree with Calan that introverts tend to be more spiritually inclined! In moments of solitude, I imagine myself as the blissful, "Empress" of the Tarot but I also have been lucky to have some sensitive, extroverted friends who respect my boundaries :)
I am an introvert who can be extroverted when needed. I did not mind the lockdown pandemic. I do, however, enjoy meeting new people and making solid friendships. The problem I find these days is that most people don't know how to have a conversation. They either launch into soliloquies or lectures. Even friends that I've had for years seem to do this now. When I speak to people on the phone these days I find I put the phone down on speaker and just let them babble for 30 or 40 minutes while I'm doing cooking or cleaning. They don't even pick up on the fact that I'm not even engaged. Is this just a sign of the times? Do other people experience this? Or is it who I am attracting?
Conversations should be like tennis and go back and forth with each person doing their own talking and sharing and then switching to then listening. A lot of people haven't learned this skill yet though.
Super interesting episode! I most identify with Michael’s type of loneliness; wanting to share something with that special person. Occasionally, I wish to be among a group of people when celebrating a particular event or occasion. Either way, I feel memories are created. 5 stars for this series! 💫
I learned so much about myself on this episode that I was not aware of yet at all, it’s like you’ll zoomed out of my usual lens and made me see the bigger picture! So grateful 🥰☀️
❤
Omg! Calan!!! In describing yourself you have described me EXACTLY!!! Love you!
Alone time can be great. For instance, I have not traveled alone much, but the few times I have done it, it was fantastic. And even though I much rather do things with my partner, when he goes out and do his thing I also see it as an opportunity for me to do what I want to do. Even when we travel, occasionally we decide to take a moment separate, and I go to an art museum (which he thinks is boring) and he goes to a technology museum (idem). So yeah, let´s embrace it, thanks as always, guys. X
Siting in gratitude to have found a group of queer men that can confidently acknowledge they are sensitive and introverts to a certain degree. I thought I was the only one. Great show guys!
To your last question: how do you come back to connection when the feelings of loneliness creep up? This has been a big self study of mine. I found I fall into this cycle of putting my self out there and seeking connection to the point of doing too much and sabotaging my own energy. It’s a pattern I do in other area of my life too. “I do the most when things are going well to create chaos”. I’m learning to not go over board. Love your notions of checking in with thy self and ask what am I really wanting, and stick to that. I consider myself and introverted, extrovert. I need an invitation but if my confidence and ego are really high it can take over and ungrounds what is safe for me.
Thanks for your light guys ✨🙌🏾
Thanks for watching and supporting the channel!
I absolutely identified with what Calan said: As introverts, we want so much to be invited to all of these things that are going on, but we are not in a position to be the catalyst. So, if the invites do not come, that leads to loneliness. Truly a double-edged sword!
Glad you resonated! I'm working on getting better at it but boy is it hard some days!
There's nothing worse than solitude, involuntary solitude, and the fact that it is both a mundane feature of work in Canadian/US culture, as well as a the norm of incarceration via the solitary confinement cell in our cultures, means that as gay guys, we're fighting an uphill battle on this front.
Another great episode! Thanks!
Good topic! I'm always overthinking about it
29:05 I was laughing out loud so hard at Calan's comment about a couple he knows who is no longer together.
Ha! I am an INFJ, but could easily slip into INTJ. I am as much a thinker as I am a feeler. Have you guys ever watched Frank James's comedy sketches about introverts on TH-cam?