I ran five miles this morning, went on a Bumble coffee date (she didn't like me), ate two Whataburger Breakfast sandwiches, and now Timothy drops an episode. Life In The Big City.
That's the kind of optimism society needs. You're assuming humanity doesn't obliterate itself or destroy the atmosphere to the point the planet is uninhabitable. You're doin good, kid.
I’m not being sarcastic when I say I don’t know which is worse, the scenario you described or dealing with the possibility of decapitation via cartel. It really makes one think, doesn’t it?
"Icarus and Daedalus, a father and son imprisoned on the island of Crete, invented wings coated with wax to escape. .....what kind of Florida meth head inventor was Daedalus?? Waxed wings. " Etc. you can imagine it
“Taylor Swift is the new President!” Exclaimed Tim Dillon as I drank my warm gin cocktail while eating Cheetos and watching the new season of love on the spectrum shortly before the incoming barrage of nuclear missiles obliterated me.
Yikes. At first I thought it was a joke and was thinking (no joke) I wonder when tim will talk about taylor swift on this one? Took literally one second after intro 😅
Getting married today and I specifically saved this pod for when we're all getting ready My entire family thinks I'm insane except the ones from Long Island. To them "he sounds kinda like Vivian's son from down by the train station. You know, the big boy with the drugs problem that works for a hedge fund." This is going to be the best day of my life.
As a North African I appreciate Tim warning me about the state of the US. As a result I've decided to migrate to the safer and saner country of Ecuador.
I was feeling pretty down today but I remembered King Pig uploads soon. Filling up my Burger King cup with cheap wine, and continuing on the good fight. 💪🏻
I actually have thought about this a lot and even daydream about a Tim Dillon and Ralph Lauren photoshoot. Tim should be serious and look distinguished like a rich NY businessman. Honestly Tim could clean up very nicely for a photoshoot and I 100% think he would knock it out of the park!
I laughed so hard with “I wouldn’t even try the case, I would just play the song ‘silly silly, cia runs out cities…’”. I almost choked from laughing 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Tim: Welcome to America. Do you want to work at a spa? Migrant: Yes, yes we’ll go to spa. Tim: Good good… get in the car. We’re going right to the spa. 😅😂
Tim Dillon instead of pointing blame on the boarder like everyone in congress and administration, is being a true patriot and solving the really tough problems of America
This means Tim has officially made it. I hope some day a local restaurant has my autograph hanging up, and not just because I knowingly write bad checks.
Just watched his hilarious special 'A Real Hero' and felt compelled to stand up for Little Caesars after hearing his, admittedly funny, bit about them. They work with local food banks and each store donates all leftovers every single night to those in need. They have one of the lowest food waste percentages of any fast food chain. It's a pretty well kept secret cuz they're just trying to do a good deed behind the scenes without seeking any recognition. Altruism at its best. Just wanted to throw that out into the interwebs. Thank you for reading this.
I ran five miles this morning, went on a Bumble coffee date (she didn't like me), ate two Whataburger Breakfast sandwiches, and now Timothy drops an episode. Life In The Big City.
We wish her well.
Winning
She don’t even like herself
Good thing she spared you
We wish you well, it’s a real knife fight out there.
Tim ranting about the collapse of society is one of the last things that brings me joy.
It’s why we’re all here, friend.
*only. Fixed it
Would you rather listen to the band play as the titanic goes down or Tim spittin... Tim all the way..lol
If you gotta go...go with a smile.
@@crazycasy Tim is the band to our titanic of a culture
One day , Tim Dillon's podcasts
will be studied as a perfect chronicles of America's demise.
😂😂😂
By the chinese
Yes. And, if you'd like book form, look up my stuff.
Or…or, and hear me out, as the solution
That's the kind of optimism society needs. You're assuming humanity doesn't obliterate itself or destroy the atmosphere to the point the planet is uninhabitable. You're doin good, kid.
Nothing quite like a Tim Dillon rant to pick you up & start your weekend off right.
😂 I just got bitched out by my boomer mom over the phone. Great timing! 👍
My thoughts exactly as I setup for my 10 year olds b day party
Nothing like 2 feet of snow overnight to force my workplace to close, and I get this podcast, too.
I was gonna sleep in but now I'm lookin for an eight ball! 🇺🇸
Playing car racing games with my brother cause he’s wife is working and he’s kids are at other people house. Haven’t done this in months
Props to Tim for recreating Ben's laughter in the back using AI.
you said it
That music sounds like an audio representation of schizophrenia 😂
can confirm, sounds like my head
I have schizophrenia can confirm its hilariously close
Yeah sounds about right, give him the booty juice
I thought that especially about the 2nd track
@@herbythechef7624 For sure the second one, ngl tho, the first one had me a bit intrigued.
The image of some poor migrant having to swaddle a 40 year old man in a diaper and tell him nursery rhymes is taking me out. Bloody hilarious.
I was smiling at work like a fool 😂
I’m not being sarcastic when I say I don’t know which is worse, the scenario you described or dealing with the possibility of decapitation via cartel. It really makes one think, doesn’t it?
If we’re gonna enjoy our pods, we must first be swaddled by outsiders
5:40 I would actually really enjoy listening to Dillon ranting about Greek mythology
Same
"Icarus and Daedalus, a father and son imprisoned on the island of Crete, invented wings coated with wax to escape. .....what kind of Florida meth head inventor was Daedalus?? Waxed wings. "
Etc. you can imagine it
“Taylor Swift is the new President!” Exclaimed Tim Dillon as I drank my warm gin cocktail while eating Cheetos and watching the new season of love on the spectrum shortly before the incoming barrage of nuclear missiles obliterated me.
What a way to go
Hell of a way to go!
You should be comedian you are funnier than real comedian alive
I could think of worse ways to go
@@nickuva6508
like Godzilla
I am CRYING at your Mike Vigliano impression 😂😂😂😂😂😂 as an Italian that is spot on
Justin Mohn is the music your mom listened to in the psych facility while getting inspiration for her paintings.
Not Timothy starting off the pod with a murderous son’s hot tracks 🤣
Crap, I completely missed that!
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
That's what that was??😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
That was a catchy rapp trek
Good catch I missed it and it's even funnier holy crap
Tim is one of the greatest social commentators we have today
First 30 seconds of this podcast is my energy for 2024 thank u Timmy
Yikes. At first I thought it was a joke and was thinking (no joke) I wonder when tim will talk about taylor swift on this one? Took literally one second after intro 😅
Tim, Timmy.....TIMMAY
@@dertythegrower😊
Getting married today and I specifically saved this pod for when we're all getting ready My entire family thinks I'm insane except the ones from Long Island. To them "he sounds kinda like Vivian's son from down by the train station. You know, the big boy with the drugs problem that works for a hedge fund." This is going to be the best day of my life.
I look forward to tim dillion podcasts every week more than any holiday
Same 😂😂😂
I'm on holiday. Told my co workers I'm going hiking. In reality I'll be home watching Tim's back catalogue.
*dillon
Never in a million I would’ve expected Tim to mention San Pedro Sula,Honduras. Shoutout Tim from San Pedro!
Dangerous place, I hear. Be safe.
VIVA HONDURAS 🇭🇳🇭🇳🇭🇳
As a North African I appreciate Tim warning me about the state of the US. As a result I've decided to migrate to the safer and saner country of Ecuador.
Ide stay where you are and be a warlord
@@shakinbottles I tried to overthrow the government of Congo, our attempt was foiled. Please send help.
@@rock3tcatU233 mark your coordinates via smoke signals we will send backup ASAP, do not tell them anything.
@@rock3tcatU233 sending backup now, create a smoke signal to mark your status, May the lord be with you. Don't tell the enemy anything.
@@shakinbottles 👍👍
Tim Dillon is the TOP G!! And maybe a bottom G all at the same time..
he‘s bottom for sure
He’s a side, and I’m here for it
@@miroirs-jumeauxI can’t believe an actual gay is here
@@miroirs-jumeaux If someone is a bottom & a top..
Would they be called Ambisextrous?
Tim claims verse, but loves pigging out on bottom. Yes or yes?
I love that he uploads on the weekends when so many others do not.
Tim has a podcast that I've continued to follow. Many comedy podcasts got old and tiring but he's always delivered the greatest time.
This is a certified Gilbert Goons squad classic
Migrants at the diaper spa would be mumbling to themselves "God is dead" in spanish
😂😂😂
💀💀💀💀💀
Dio es muerte!
@@blindthrallFlores Para Los Muertos
"Dios esta muerto" is the correct translation.
Tim is my Therapy
Same 🥹
He’s got 4 homes but deserves 8 just fyi.
@@caddyshack68 agreed 🙌
Amen
u know you’re way beyond being chronically online when u instantly recognize the artist of the song at the beginning lmao
“Artist”
Oh my lord
anime does that to a lot of adults... its sad and pitiful
Think we can all appreciate how open and willing Tim always is to elevate other artists. Really just so incredible. 🙏🏻
"How bad is the country right now just give it to her" 2024!!!
I love Saturdays now since I found this podcast
Levittown is right around the corner from the lovely PARX Casino where Tim has graced us with his presence. 🙏
I was feeling pretty down today but I remembered King Pig uploads soon. Filling up my Burger King cup with cheap wine, and continuing on the good fight. 💪🏻
❤
Wow. We are so much alike it's scary. We must never meet...
@@bakoboyo138 Agreed. It could be catastrophic. Apocalyptic even. Have a good life bakoboyo138 I wish you well.
I Can't differentiate between cheap and expensive wine apart from having more change from my $50 to buy BK
👑🐖
Tim is my favorite voice of reason. Best part of my day.
28:49 Tim out here solving the migrant crisis 😂
Tim Dillon is a master of his craft.
Tim’s looking positively vibrant !
When our world burns, Tim burns brighter. Every time
Currently, this the best rant on the internet. I wish you well, Tim.
Massive respect from New Zealand Tim you are incredible man.
Mike Figgliatta needs to be a recurring character lol
perfect character voice.. as soon as i heard the name i thought of a mustached pizza guy in brooklyn
Imagine working behind the bar and Tim is there drinking and talking to you like this! Cheers to that 😂
From Northern Gaza… Tim gives me a reason to carryon 🤝
Wish me well folks
Careful. It’s a knife fight out there!
Life in the big city
Keep fighting, Tay Tay has your back ❤
he give me reasons to crayon
The shitty diaper situation is the perfect manifestation of what is going on in the white house right now
Meanwhile Trump actually wore diapers and was proud he passed the dementia test no one told him was actually a dementia test.
Not true, the proprietor clearly said there were no perverts in her establishment.
@@8thlvlMagemad cuz u voted for a pedo 😆
@@8thlvlMage rent free
@@8thlvlMage Cope harder
TIM IS FUQN BACK BABY! This is a huge hit buddy
Tim is the only person who I will listen to their ads
Perfect for my Saturday after breakfast nap.
You're my favorite diverse LGBT podcaster. Disney should hire you.
“Phil, fill your diaper!” 😂
this literally sounds like a South Park episode we are now in South Park IRL
The utter joy of getting a Tim on a Saturday evening instead of 3 am 🎉
I live in Topeka and Tim is sooo spot on!!! Haven’t laughed that hard in awhile…bravo Tim!
How you’re not sponsored by Polo RL is wild.
Because they are too broke to afford Tim.. so they went with Johnny Depp
It’s fake business
I actually have thought about this a lot and even daydream about a Tim Dillon and Ralph Lauren photoshoot. Tim should be serious and look distinguished like a rich NY businessman. Honestly Tim could clean up very nicely for a photoshoot and I 100% think he would knock it out of the park!
Tim is a wild card, you know ralph lauren wants quiet, americana, silent luxury ass people 😂😂
@@Digitalgirl.mp3dude lives not too far from me, can confirm!
Tim built like a stick of butter promoting a meal prep service is hilarious 🤣
This man's "full circle-back conclusions" are fantastic.
“What happened to feet? You can’t just lick a toe?”
😂😂😂😂😂
Weeks seem to drag now that the highlight of my weekend is your podcast.
wth?!😂😂😂 s/o "Justin mohn" and Philadelphia 🎶🎶🎶😂😂😂omg, Tim... ur tireless work never ends...✌🏾 Happy Black History Month, Chat👋🏾
miss... those are actual songs by that dude 🤐
The diaper spa part got me 😂
I laughed so hard with “I wouldn’t even try the case, I would just play the song ‘silly silly, cia runs out cities…’”. I almost choked from laughing 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
If someone’s 32 making music in their bedroom at their Dad’s house, I’d call that a red flag.
Good call. He got arrested for killing his Dad and posting it to TH-cam
It was good to see Tim on Theon’s podcast and realizing he can still be funny but just not on his own podcast lol
Tim's Italian impressions always kill me 😂
Tim Dillon for president
Pamper themselves , puns the highest level of language.
*Guy takes his diaper off to shit in a toilet*
Everyone else: “You’re making us uncomfortable…”
I’m stressed and grateful for you Tim 😊
18:42 😂 a literal knee slapper 🦵👋
Love this man!
Great show in St Louis last night, Tim! I laughed so hard I might have a hernia.
Tim mentioning BH Cracked Pepper Turkey made me a follower for life
I love the way Tim dances in the beginning
Tim: Welcome to America. Do you want to work at a spa?
Migrant: Yes, yes we’ll go to spa.
Tim: Good good… get in the car. We’re going right to the spa.
😅😂
I come here for all my sandwich making tips. He is right about that winter tomato and the lettuce just making it slide apart.
Tim Dillon instead of pointing blame on the boarder like everyone in congress and administration, is being a true patriot and solving the really tough problems of America
Diaper spa bit killed me
Tim with the upload on Saturday morning- way better than cartoons! 😃😄
If you just listen to the audio and use your imagination, this *is* a cartoon.
The diaper spa is literally Tim and Eric's episode of Bedtime Stories, Be A Baby!
Lowkey sneaking that Justin Mohn intro in before the Taylor bit is craaazyy 👀👀🤣
Just sat down to relax and Tim drops in
It has now become my mission to make Tim know I'm actually his biggest fan. Where's the trombone episode Tim? WHERE IS IT!!!!!?!?!?!?!??!
Uncle Tim bringing us weekly report.
Tim fully embracing the role of the single, recently-divorced rich aunt is truly inspiring.
@@lebumjames1373 indeed
I laughed so hard with this one! It realy is the downfall of the civilization, but Tim is helping us to go out with a bang.
Missed the notif but my algo knows to put Tim up top!!
Super classic! Tim Dillon speaking only truths about the greatest place on Earth!
The mike vigliotta bit made me laugh so hard that I almost crashed my Amazon van, holy shit.
Tim should run for president on the fake business platform
49:55 Thank you for your brave statements Tim
Don’t forget that Jenny Slate is still not in jail
"Put her in jail! Now! Put her in jail! How are the producers of Big Mouth not behind bars!"
lock her up
"I want Her Prosecuted To The Full Extent Of The Law!!
Put Her In Jail!!"
"Capitol punishment is not off the table"
What did she do?
I live in Topeka and he hit the nail on the head 😂😂😂
Half an hour on migrants at diapers spa is what I needed this morning.
Saw your autograph in a local restaurant, Fullerton, CA. You’re everywhere.
Like those old credit card slogans Tim, he’s everywhere you want to be
the owner just got a bunch of imitation signatures off those odd dark web auctions.
@@dertythegrowerNah. It’s not far from Brea Improv. Legit.
@@stevenc5526what restaurant? I saw Timmy D at the Brea improv
This means Tim has officially made it. I hope some day a local restaurant has my autograph hanging up, and not just because I knowingly write bad checks.
I would like to see Tim speak about Greek mthology 😂😂
Ahhhh yes. Another tim dillon hour to kill more time at work.
This could be Tim’s best work
Just watched his hilarious special 'A Real Hero' and felt compelled to stand up for Little Caesars after hearing his, admittedly funny, bit about them.
They work with local food banks and each store donates all leftovers every single night to those in need. They have one of the lowest food waste percentages of any fast food chain. It's a pretty well kept secret cuz they're just trying to do a good deed behind the scenes without seeking any recognition. Altruism at its best.
Just wanted to throw that out into the interwebs. Thank you for reading this.
New show! Where is my glass of wine!! 🍷
Tim with two motherly black women replies in a row from the midwest states... gold. Would have never guessed, cheers.
@@dertythegrower Wisconsin goes hard for Timmy and his sunshades!
Great episode already
I come for the news headlines but I STAY for the food commentary.
Tim is carrying on and honoring his grandfathers legacy
The Mike Vigliotta part at 23:24 is the best 😂
This episode is what a huge swath of my brain looks like under a microscope.
The feeling when you get in your car to go somewhere and see Timmy uploaded…..👌
Quite possibly the strangest beginning of any episode of any podcast
You must be new here.
RISE!@@lenafelipe