Yeah, my neighbour was put on trial for being a serial masturbator. The judge sent him to a doctor first and the doctor said "you really need to put an end to this". My neighbour said "why?". The doc said "cause I'm trying to examine you!"
I saw a VHS copy of Billy And Albert with my mum and sister in the late 1980s and we were in tears of laughter at this clip and all the rest of the show. It was beyond hilarious. Billy Connolly is Comedy Gold.
I had the great pleasure of doing his photography in the Liverpool empire in 83 for the Billy bites your bum tour and how I got clear pictures is a miracle because I was laughing so much, and when he spotted me he involved me in a sketch ( I held my own) and I think that he is the best comedian in the world, God bless you big yin
The world has been here how long ? There have been many brilliant people in it ...philosophers, medics even Einstein.. ..but Billy beats them all .....banter to crack a smile from the doorest faces in this world....A genius we have all been blessed with ....i. glad I'm alive at this time, to appreciate this Genius.
I am dutch and i tell you billy is the most fab comedian on planet when am watching his clips on you tube and he ho iv still got some dvd's i sometimes nearly piss myself what a legend i hope he keeps well iv heard some rumours about is health? God bless billy
So impressive how he had a career so long over so many decades and even now hasn’t ever slipped up and been racist sexist etc and all these modern comedian complain about not being able to say what they want
He was doing a gig at the Capitol Theatre in Aberdeen , back in the day . I seen him driving a Ford Cortina afterwards and gave him a wave . He gave me the finger lol .
It takes a man to turn adolescent sniggering and anxiety into a really funny and entertaining joke. Billy may not be the sharpest tool in the box, but he has a first class honours degree in Manhood ! If only they taught this to you at school.
Peter Kay just repeats things you might remember and talks like you all have Northern family. It's sometimes funny but gets tired really quick. Billy is light years ahead of him in terms of comedy prowess.
I watched Peter Kay and the stuff just wasn't funny. Just funny impressions of daily stuff. Peter Kay is about Joe Rogan level of comedian. Not funny because I have much the same types of thoughts most days.
How can you 'interfere' with yourself? What you have is yours, therefore you can never be said to 'interfere' with what is yours, especially as it cannot belong to anyone else......
Being from the southern United States if always thought I spoke the English language badly until I listened to Billy do his version and then I realized I don't speak English I speak a strange variant of southern United States patios
OH MAN...I'VE TRIED TO TELL THAT SO MANY TIMES BUT A CANNIE DAE IT LIKE YOU. Brilliant stuff Billy. Seen you on a few YT films recently, but not for a few years. Great to see you pick the best. If itisnaeyou. Well done that fella...fellette...or whatever it is you choose to identify as. Lol///
Drillers (exploration or blast hole) never deny it. they just tell you steer clear of the pink rag. AND if it looks like it is crying….it is probably full
When I was in high school, one of my friends told us guys, that if you masturbate, you will grow hair on the palms of your hands. Just about everyone looked at their palms. This was in the early 1970's! LOL
Billy Connolly is great ! He reminded me of a conversation I had some years ago. I worked as a master mechanic for decades. Saw many co workers come and go.(no jokes) lol. Well I was working in Nashua NH, pushing 40 and we has just hired a young mechanic, I was the shop foreman, and thought this young man would be a good addition to the shop and we hired him. Mechanics can have some interesting conversations as they work along side guys of all ages. I could write a book! Anyway I had just had a physical and spoke candidly about my physical well being. He noticed I was thin, and stressed out. ..and he asked 'Hows your love life"? I said, not good. I hadn't had sex in a long time. The doctor then asked.." do you masturbate"? I was thinking of a semi truthful answer when he said, "well its a good idea to masturbate if your not having sex to keep everything in "working order". I said I did..."once and a while". He then said, two three times a week is fine. Whenever you feel stressed. Its normal. I smiled and thanked the doc. Well I told the story to the new mechanic, He walked over and said very loudly...'Two Three times a week?!! I do it Four, Five times a day !! I laughed so hard...I patted him on the back and said I did too when I was your age" !! We didn't know there were people in the waiting room who heard the whole conversation!! lol We laughed, cracked jokes for days!🤣
@@Flanaghan sad depressing individuals who have never been invited to a party in their lives cos they would spoil the fun. Probably the kind of folk Billy's referring to with the"i can't seem to get in there seems to be furniture piled against the door"🤣
@@iainsutherland1113 No you're an actual wanker, and you have to accept that there are people who who don't like Billy Connolly. It has nothing to do with not having a sense of humour or any such bullshit reasons as those posted here. It's just a question of different tastes. Simple as that.
I know the fanatics here won't understand this, but there are people who don't like Billy Connolly. There's nothing wrong with them, but there's something wrong with some of the people who post here.
My dad walked in on me once and said to me, “son, stop doing that or you’ll go blind”, I replied, “dad, I’m over here”.
Hahahaha!
😂😂😂
LOL
Hahahahaha gold mate....
Yeah, my neighbour was put on trial for being a serial masturbator. The judge sent him to a doctor first and the doctor said "you really need to put an end to this". My neighbour said "why?". The doc said "cause I'm trying to examine you!"
I saw a VHS copy of Billy And Albert with my mum and sister in the late 1980s and we were in tears of laughter at this clip and all the rest of the show. It was beyond hilarious. Billy Connolly is Comedy Gold.
I was at one of Billy's gigs at the Albert Hall.Far superior to watching him on video or DVD.
I was there…. The legend that is Connolly!! Brilliant!!
I love the legendary Sir Billy Connolly. The man is a genius. He should be prescribed on the NHS
If laughter is medicine, he should be locked in a cabinet LOL
Agree Jamie Barbi
And yet he isn't. I wonder why that is.
He's a pill alright.
Billy is an absolute legend!! He always makes me laugh when I am feeling down
So does masturbation, allegedly.
@@joshstanton267 You're doing it wrong.
I remember seeing billy in the early 2000’s. My chest hurt for days from all the laughing. One of my favourite memories
7.
Picture my grans face as I recited this sketch verbatim at 8 years old (no understanding a word). Dad laughed at least.
Vermasterbatim
1.
I had the great pleasure of doing his photography in the Liverpool empire in 83 for the Billy bites your bum tour and how I got clear pictures is a miracle because I was laughing so much, and when he spotted me he involved me in a sketch ( I held my own) and I think that he is the best comedian in the world, God bless you big yin
..so you held your own did you? Tarantula was it?
Stop telling lies lad
@@billybarr7443 knob
@@martinmartinmoone3104 just stop telling lies lad
@@billybarr7443 knob
billy's the kind of guy that could make anything funny. what a legend
Bollocks.
Except his sisters' funeral. There was nothing funny in that.
He is a comic genius! Absolutely one of the greatest of all time.
It's hardly a spectator sport is one of my favourite Billy quotes.
Billy failed to predict Onlyfans.
@@heatchills4093 and Chaturbate!
You just made that up.
@irbennett he says it in this, early on.
DEFINITELY the funniest man alive or otherwise.
Love his face when that person laughs, "you calling me a wanker?"
My late father idolised billy I grew up watching him with my dad .. love billy the best xx
Why is it people insist on bringing their father into it.
I remember him shutting up a heckler with “You should get yersel a manager mate! Why sit there in the dark, handling yersel!
You've mentioned that before elsewhere.
@@irbennettLet me announce to you that you need URGENT therapy.
But you're actually laughable because nobody gives a toss about your comments 😂😂😂😂😂
Billy ur a complete legend, best comedian I've ever seen 👏
It would be interesting to know how many comedians you have seen.
Love you Big Yin, 😍 💗 take care and Keep Safe 😘 ❤ 💙 Keep Safe Everyone
Classic routine from the greatest stand up comedian ever, love the big yin
@@speeddemon9555 couldnt lace billys boots !
The best ever, a credit to our people. Hail Hail Billy.
I remember watching this with my mom and dad 🙈🙊😳
...brave man!
The world has been here how long ? There have been many brilliant people in it ...philosophers, medics even Einstein.. ..but Billy beats them all .....banter to crack a smile from the doorest faces in this world....A genius we have all been blessed with ....i. glad I'm alive at this time, to appreciate this Genius.
That is just BOLLOCKS. You should be ashamed.
Whenever i feel down. Billy u cheer me up xx
Why do you get down girl
@@billybarr7443 You're not trying that line again surely.
@@shelleyhay366 thank you
Brilliant. Thankfully I always make sure the door is locked.
I love his shows, his opening line was along the lines of "if you don't like me swearing, f* off now!"
When he’d had a haircut and a shave he’d open with “What do you mean ‘Who the f-k are you?’”
When I saw him, the way he opened shows was different each time.
Best response to getting caught should be; "I was just thinking about you!"
Tell me how that goes when you’re caught by your mom.
🤣🤣🤣
@ironfae what about, dad brother, sister. 😂
@@superglide6680
Yeah; SEVERAL reasons why it’s probably NOT the best response.
@@ironfae they won't interrupt a second time though will they. 🤷🤣
@@superglide6680
True, but here’s a thought: LOCK THE DAMN DOOR!!!
Duh.
Billy gets away with anything ! And we’ve Loved Every Minute ❤️✨🌟✨
He didn't get away with the beheaded scouser in Iraq joke...
Without any doubt the funniest comedian around. Never met him, but he seems to be a genuinely great bloke too.
If you do meet him don't tell him your on one of his message boards, he'll spit in your face.
I am dutch and i tell you billy is the most fab comedian on planet when am watching his clips on you tube and he ho iv still got some dvd's i sometimes nearly piss myself what a legend i hope he keeps well iv heard some rumours about is health? God bless billy
Thank God I saw this when I was a much younger man. Saved me the other day and I immediately followed his steps and calmed the situation down.
Yeah right.
Calmed the situation down? 😂😂😂😂😂
Billy is the only man who can make me laugh, god bless him.
You mean no other man has ever made you laugh? You're weird.
Best comedian ever
Absolutely fabulous.
Funny man done some great shows on TV still got great humour even with his illness nice one Billy legend 👍
I remember taking mental notes after sneaking a watch when I was left home alone, the best baby sitter had banana shoes. ❤
Without doubt the funniest man ever the comedians comedian a true legend of comedy
I Completely agree Tony the funniest man on the planet 🤣
"Thank god you're here!" Wish I thought of that back when I was 14. 🤣
I wasn't going to say that to my SISTER!
Could listen to him all night long x
That's so very interesting.............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Genius comic at his peak .
Legend of a comedian that never fails to make me laugh
Most loved comedian in the world ..
You've seen every comedian in the world have you. Didn't think so.
To this day one of my favourite pieces of comedy
Have heard some great excuses over the years, even one at my Nana’s funeral…in the church….part of one of my uncles eulogy. 😂
Well it's something to pass the time with during the Lord is my shepherd.
12.
I was 15 or 16 and didn't hear the door opening. All I heard was my mother saying "Huh, I suppose it's better thinking about it than diong it".
13.
Love ya Bigyin!!
I like the way the camera shakes at 2.04, presumably because the operator is laughing!
Or wanking.
Spotless!
So impressive how he had a career so long over so many decades and even now hasn’t ever slipped up and been racist sexist etc and all these modern comedian complain about not being able to say what they want
Thats coz he retired before all that started.
Oh hes been sexist and racist but he's too cool to be cancelled 😎
@@the_manchovie1795 Jibber jabber.
To be honest there was a misogynistic streak running through his humour. Though that was probably a generational thing.
He’s so much better when older like now.
Good Lord I hadn't seen this in years! Such brilliance! Almost Alien.
He was doing a gig at the Capitol Theatre in Aberdeen , back in the day . I seen him driving a Ford Cortina afterwards and gave him a wave . He gave me the finger lol .
The man a a legend 🙌
Brilliant
Billy the King 👑
Awesome a legend
I always go with: "I was just practicing my mantra."
I'd like to hear where this ends up
King's Cross.
My cousin got caught and as he had been archery hunting earlier, he said that he was checking for ticks!!! Lmao!!!
Yeah right.
The reverse Egyptian handshake with splash guard!
He laughs at his own jokes ,& so do we
I’m think going to start using the phrase “Bijou Strollette” 😂
It's from Julian and Sandy.
Still got this on vhs
It takes a man to turn adolescent sniggering and anxiety into a really funny and entertaining joke. Billy may not be the sharpest tool in the box, but he has a first class honours degree in Manhood ! If only they taught this to you at school.
Oh he’s sharp all right! Where and how do you think his comedy derives?
Not the sharpest? Lol you’re kidding right?
As this is an old bit...
I tried this when my dad walked in. Didn't work.
You could have given Billy a phone directory and he would have you laughing hysterically within five minutes.
If you gave Billy a phone directory, he'd probably hit you with it.
On yersel big yin 😁🏴🏴
Only Peter kay comes close to Billy, even watching this for the nth time cheers my day up.
Peter Kay just repeats things you might remember and talks like you all have Northern family. It's sometimes funny but gets tired really quick. Billy is light years ahead of him in terms of comedy prowess.
Lee Evans beats Peter Kay in my opinion. But yeah Billy beats both if them any day.
I watched Peter Kay and the stuff just wasn't funny. Just funny impressions of daily stuff. Peter Kay is about Joe Rogan level of comedian. Not funny because I have much the same types of thoughts most days.
@@OffGridInvestor And yet Peter Kays biggest influence was Billy Connolly. And I doubt a wanker like you could have the same types of thoughts as him.
@@tehf00n That's gibberish.
Billy knows how to give a good belly laugh
How can you 'interfere' with yourself? What you have is yours, therefore you can never be said to 'interfere' with what is yours, especially as it cannot belong to anyone else......
He’s hilarious! His outfit reminds me of Beetlejuice, though. 😂
B.J Seriously?
I was thinking, "Huh,this is what Beetlejuice must of been,before he died." 😂😂😂😂
Samantha Fish wore an outfit like that in her music video "Twisted Ambition"
Being from the southern United States if always thought I spoke the English language badly until I listened to Billy do his version and then I realized I don't speak English I speak a strange variant of southern United States patios
It's Mine and I will wash it as fast as I like! TFS, GB :)
You can stop lying, I've given up counting.
OH MAN...I'VE TRIED TO TELL THAT SO MANY TIMES BUT A CANNIE DAE IT LIKE YOU. Brilliant stuff Billy. Seen you on a few YT films recently, but not for a few years. Great to see you pick the best. If itisnaeyou. Well done that fella...fellette...or whatever it is you choose to identify as. Lol///
Jibber jabber.
Cameraman laughing at 2:02 🤣
That bit with the camera shaking was actually hilarious right enough
Drillers (exploration or blast hole) never deny it. they just tell you steer clear of the pink rag. AND if it looks like it is crying….it is probably full
Jibber jabber.
Definitely a closet Toon Supporter. Haway the lads n lasses oh you wear glasses! Shoulda Woulda Coulda Gone To Specsavers
And Vision Express.❤
When this was broadcast, Harold Shipman was knocking about
Pure class 😂
That is some glorious 80s hair
How would the burstee know what you were doing unless they have done it
When I was in high school, one of my friends told us guys, that if you masturbate, you will grow hair on the palms of your hands. Just about everyone looked at their palms. This was in the early 1970's! LOL
I gotta get me one of them Beetlejuice suits
Try walking into traffic first. The world one wanker short.
Billy Connolly is great ! He reminded me of a conversation I had some years ago. I worked as a master mechanic for decades. Saw many co workers come and go.(no jokes) lol. Well I was working in Nashua NH, pushing 40 and we has just hired a young mechanic, I was the shop foreman, and thought this young man would be a good addition to the shop and we hired him. Mechanics can have some interesting conversations as they work along side guys of all ages. I could write a book! Anyway I had just had a physical and spoke candidly about my physical well being. He noticed I was thin, and stressed out. ..and he asked 'Hows your love life"? I said, not good. I hadn't had sex in a long time. The doctor then asked.." do you masturbate"? I was thinking of a semi truthful answer when he said, "well its a good idea to masturbate if your not having sex to keep everything in "working order". I said I did..."once and a while". He then said, two three times a week is fine. Whenever you feel stressed. Its normal. I smiled and thanked the doc. Well I told the story to the new mechanic, He walked over and said very loudly...'Two Three times a week?!! I do it Four, Five times a day !! I laughed so hard...I patted him on the back and said I did too when I was your age" !! We didn't know there were people in the waiting room who heard the whole conversation!! lol We laughed, cracked jokes for days!🤣
When the camera wobbles from what i hope is laughter😂😂
3:49 So thats how the show cum about...
"Get you the bugger away from there!" 😆
At least it pulls you thru
When got asked i replied " I'm just shaking up my asthma inhaler"
😂😂😂
I've stopped counting, so you can stop lying.
This is where people tell lies big time.
Brilliant 🤣
"Errr i was errrr.......counting my willy's"!! pmsl
2 dislikes????????
Sense of humour bypass ??????
What a crap depressing life you must live
Ten now… it’s spreading!
@@Flanaghan sad depressing individuals who have never been invited to a party in their lives cos they would spoil the fun.
Probably the kind of folk Billy's referring to with the"i can't seem to get in there seems to be furniture piled against the door"🤣
Actual ‘wankers’ !!!
@@iainsutherland1113 No you're an actual wanker, and you have to accept that there are people who who don't like Billy Connolly. It has nothing to do with not having a sense of humour or any such bullshit reasons as those posted here. It's just a question of different tastes. Simple as that.
I know the fanatics here won't understand this, but there are people who don't like Billy Connolly. There's nothing wrong with them, but there's something wrong with some of the people who post here.
😂😂 love it 😂
I went to one of his shows when I was in early teens …..with my dad…..and Billy ….went there. It was ….awkward
Gonna tell my kids this was braveheart and beetlejuice.
You have kids? That's interbreeding for you.
Billy Connolly was a HOT MAN and SO FUNNY!!!
Billy has wicked clothes
Fun Fact: The character design for Beetlejuice was based on Billy Connolly.
O now we've done it Halloween is just a round a corner 😈
Ya big joabby!
I Got caught … my reply was .. “ I was just playing with it and it went off in my hand “
Louis C.K. needs to watch this.