Esther Perel: The Power of Relational Intelligence

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 มิ.ย. 2024
  • Lost at work? In this talk, Esther Perel dives into how relational intelligence can guide us toward well-being and success.
    Esther Perel at CreativeMornings New York, November 2019. Free events like this one are hosted every month in dozens of cities. Discover hundreds of talks from the world's creative community at creativemornings.com/talks
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ความคิดเห็น • 154

  • @sarah-anneperry6932
    @sarah-anneperry6932 4 ปีที่แล้ว +943

    This woman has taught me more about human relationships than my Bachelor's degree in Psychology ever did.

    • @nomzalicious8075
      @nomzalicious8075 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      🤣🤣🤣🤣 Don't bother repaying that College loan then...🤯

    • @giannamancini7297
      @giannamancini7297 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Same

    • @staceyshively4478
      @staceyshively4478 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      SHe's amazing!

    • @kaalmansur
      @kaalmansur 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Your bachelor's in psy is also not meant for you to learn. It's meant for you to become a functioning cog.

    • @IdontspeakBro.
      @IdontspeakBro. 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Last Christmas I gave u my Fart someone has been burned and hates the world.🤣

  • @gtrplaya1
    @gtrplaya1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +145

    "A criticism is (often) a veiled wish. Why not say the veiled wish?"

  • @dericflairmultiverse4952
    @dericflairmultiverse4952 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    Esther Perel is to relationships what Steve Jobs is to technology

  • @ThierryC2373
    @ThierryC2373 4 ปีที่แล้ว +132

    I loved the moment she caught everybody by asking "who is sending a check to the family"! That was such a cultural revelation moment.

    • @smurfiennes
      @smurfiennes ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Indeed. It opened up my eyes, why we have such a different view of life. Eventhough my family and relatives are way better of than me, but at the back of my mind, I still feel responsible to ‘take care of them’, just in case.

  • @marvelousmrsnunya
    @marvelousmrsnunya 4 ปีที่แล้ว +109

    I adore this woman's brain!

    • @indigoblue4791
      @indigoblue4791 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Esther is so vital and her energy is so contagious!!!

  • @sophiakh9590
    @sophiakh9590 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    This is why so many people are unhappy- the unrealistic expectations that people place on jobs and relationships to fulfill them and provide them with meaning. What we once got from a village/ faith, we're supposed to get from the aforementioned

  • @silenelandim8385
    @silenelandim8385 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    This woman is amazing, I can just stay here and listen for hours. And let me tell you I will need to hear this more than once’s.

  • @caribbeanqueen1389
    @caribbeanqueen1389 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    She said something really powerful. She said trust doesn't come from security,
    Trust is built in the reconnection after a riff

  • @nedsantos1415
    @nedsantos1415 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Thank you for this.
    Esther has been a blessing to those who take relationships seriously and seek answers to their challenges in their relationships.

  • @richardeliasjames5190
    @richardeliasjames5190 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Relationships are harmony-disharmony-repair, connection-disconnection-reconnection. It's in the reconnection that the trust gets built. You have to have a rupture in order to actually build the trust.

    • @kirstinstrand6292
      @kirstinstrand6292 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      And to find the Truth of the relationship, whatever it IS.

  • @storiesofblue
    @storiesofblue 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    If i ever go back to studying psychology, I want her for every class.

  • @milliejohnson-realtorandla1475
    @milliejohnson-realtorandla1475 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I found you by random search and I am so thankful.

  • @lianaschill6132
    @lianaschill6132 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Esther Perel can articulate complex relationship dynamics well by recognizing patterns of behaviour and communication.

  • @4635683763
    @4635683763 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    She said "South Africa" and my attention was sealed in.

  • @cerenyasar3914
    @cerenyasar3914 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    On top of her expertise I just LOVE her body language and accent! 😍😍

  • @lihlenyathi732
    @lihlenyathi732 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    She's right, I'm from South Africa 🇿🇦 and we work to feed not only our immediate families but also our extended families as well.

    • @grahambooth3225
      @grahambooth3225 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      In other places it takes a village is a saying in South Africa its common practice for a huge part of South Africa. I sometimes don't know how people manage it but they do and it's amazing the selfless sacrifices people make for others.

    • @Sam-tz8ou
      @Sam-tz8ou ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes, but in western countries often children never meet their real fathers. Which is on the other side of extreme.

    • @sachin1407
      @sachin1407 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same with us ..people from India..

  • @rhondawilson5234
    @rhondawilson5234 2 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    Very intelligent woman. I love listening to anything I can find online from her and listening not only to what she says but the accent is very beautiful. Listening to her seminars & watching her videos have been life changing on many levels. Thank you for all your hard work and for such accurate information. Your an amazing speaker and have helped me tremendously.

    • @sachin1407
      @sachin1407 ปีที่แล้ว

      So right you are... 👍
      She is amazing 👌👌👌

  • @user-yk9sk7pg6v
    @user-yk9sk7pg6v 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    She looks beautiful here.

  • @user-to6mz8xb8g
    @user-to6mz8xb8g 4 ปีที่แล้ว +55

    always, always, always a pleasure to hear you speak, esther

  • @victoriap2519
    @victoriap2519 4 ปีที่แล้ว +69

    These days it is not anymore a job interview, it is a personality interview while understanding nothing about their own personalities, and having no self- awareness, trying to go with the gut, when raised in environment which has nothing to do with development of the senses of the gut

    • @elmarehuman237
      @elmarehuman237 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Jkĺiiiķ
      Jjkjjķ

    • @sweetthings11
      @sweetthings11 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Wow this is so mind blowing what you've said here.. You must have been through some stuff to talk so deep.

    • @GoogleAccount00
      @GoogleAccount00 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      💯💯💯

    • @kirstinstrand6292
      @kirstinstrand6292 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Self awareness is rarely taught in childhood. Self discovery is required prior to the ability to function well in society, work and love.
      Generally speaking we find a door to self awareness through teachers like Ester Parel. She is the voice of profound experience and wisdom.

    • @victoriap2519
      @victoriap2519 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@kirstinstrand6292 i am sure it is not abt teaching self-awareness, but rather stop interfering in it and its development with the process called education and raising kids, kids are not a cattle to raise. Kids to my opinion are very self-aware, until the society starts telling them they are not and how things should be, playing morality

  • @monikajhunjhunwala1948
    @monikajhunjhunwala1948 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I love her ... fan girl!

  • @toreyhill2024
    @toreyhill2024 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I always learn from her! Great information!

  • @audreyflett8719
    @audreyflett8719 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Brilliant.

  • @bluesee2018
    @bluesee2018 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This Lady is so amazing, I love her presentation, the way she talk, body language and confidence, plus she is able to convey the message.

  • @fikminipes7433
    @fikminipes7433 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Absolutely fabulous. For those interested in this topic I recommend Esther´s book The state of affairs - that will help you understand a lot.

  • @gigglesnz9
    @gigglesnz9 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Why Values are such a core component on what you build your foundation of intra and inter relationships with

  • @TonettaClay
    @TonettaClay 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Thank you for creating this video and providing this information. I just found your videos yesterday and am learning much as I'm in the Relationship Coaching world as well as being a social worker for the past 20 years.

  • @deboratavares5625
    @deboratavares5625 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I love her!

  • @haddynough8402
    @haddynough8402 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    All men should be required to take a course on this, and emotional intelligence as well because most men are emotionally constipated it seems.

    • @vcash1112
      @vcash1112 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      👎🐛

    • @kirstinstrand6292
      @kirstinstrand6292 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      More so than females, it seems. Yet, deep, open, honest communication is a challenge for everyone. Edit: yet, it's like any skill, it can be learned with practice. 🙂🤗

  • @HalidaSarahShahed
    @HalidaSarahShahed 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I love this woman 💟

  • @laurorap9232
    @laurorap9232 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    She is amazing 😍

  • @DesireeHoorzuk
    @DesireeHoorzuk 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Brilliant! Thank you.

  • @jiksoo-modernpsychic1861
    @jiksoo-modernpsychic1861 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I was hinted a lot with your book for my life as a father and a husband. Fire needs air, desire needs space!
    and I just knew that your book, the state of affairs was translated and published in Dec. last year in Korea! I am gonna buy it though I read the book with Audible~

  • @TheSukanya1984
    @TheSukanya1984 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    I just LOVE this woman!!! She has gifted the world a whole new perspective on Relationship knowledge!

  • @kindalindaable
    @kindalindaable 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Amazing.

  • @vivienrhodes4248
    @vivienrhodes4248 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Revaluation of a relationship is ongoing

  • @andrearenee7845
    @andrearenee7845 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you so much for this.

  • @Si-cw3fo
    @Si-cw3fo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Masha Allah... great clinical reasoning

  • @preciousngulube2685
    @preciousngulube2685 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Love love Ester thank you so much for insights

  • @ashwhitehomebro
    @ashwhitehomebro 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Please keep her here with us for as long as possible . I happened upon her other video from a TED talk she gave. It gave a lot of clarity, and was absolutely engaging. There's a ton of reflection when I watch any of her videos. Beautiful work, and look forward to more of these lectures from her.

  • @geemail369
    @geemail369 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    21:46 Utter gold! ✨🙏🏻

  • @leratomphaka3832
    @leratomphaka3832 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    What a powerful voice. Thank you Esther. I needed this

  • @lianaschill6132
    @lianaschill6132 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you Esther for a relationship-vocabulary and relationship-truths that have been illusive to me until now. Fascinating and inspiring

  • @smurfiennes
    @smurfiennes ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you Esther. I wish I’d have found you last week. What a difference of a couple of days could’ve made..

  • @mariambreed6259
    @mariambreed6259 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Bravo! Belle présentation et logique. Merci.

  • @Souldesouse
    @Souldesouse ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Anyone noticed how chic her style is? In every appearance

  • @mariamkinen8036
    @mariamkinen8036 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Relational n emotional intelligence n innate skills are all one . That's how things work.

  • @saradelgrosso975
    @saradelgrosso975 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Great woman!

    • @ibrahimhamada5751
      @ibrahimhamada5751 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      And also attractive woman ❤️🌹😍

  • @JacyndaMinor
    @JacyndaMinor 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Yessss go off, queen

  • @deborahamanda3157
    @deborahamanda3157 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I ALWAYS learn when listening to you Esther! Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. 🙌🏻

    • @mariadelosrios9844
      @mariadelosrios9844 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Last Christmas I gave u my Fart for someone who seems very hostile towards this woman, why do you spend your time listening to her. Move on.

    • @mariadelosrios9844
      @mariadelosrios9844 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Last Christmas I gave u my Fart Well, I believe that is my desicion to make. Why would you be the expert on what's good for me or not?

  • @rociocoboperez329
    @rociocoboperez329 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Waiting for a book about work relationships. Hope it will be her next book!

  • @angrysackmagic4633
    @angrysackmagic4633 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I love this lady! Thank you : )

  • @SleeplessinOC
    @SleeplessinOC 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Lover her necklace

  • @icracomprehensiveschool2153
    @icracomprehensiveschool2153 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Therefore we need to speak more about complimentary sexes rather than opposite sexes . we were programmed to compete during industrialisation, now things have to rethink because we are technologically connected and need each other more while we are still stuck with industrialised competitive vocabulary Mogamat Faadiel Arnold ICRA Principal

    • @DonMaseven
      @DonMaseven 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Complementary Sexes. 💯

  • @flowerspititlakay6433
    @flowerspititlakay6433 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    OMG!!! What a brain...

  • @vibhagurtu9632
    @vibhagurtu9632 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Wow!

  • @Shark-Malark
    @Shark-Malark 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    . . .ugh, and now I have the unreasonable expectations that my family, relationships, and job will make me feel like Queen Esther does. . .

  • @psmylife6832
    @psmylife6832 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Noooooo... I want to hear the Q&A session. Where can I find that?

  • @joanecinco57
    @joanecinco57 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I hope to meet someday Esther!

    • @kathleensueoka3599
      @kathleensueoka3599 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I met her by accident in an airline lounge. Wow. I was so excited to speak with her during our layovers.

  • @ushashibandyopadhyay9105
    @ushashibandyopadhyay9105 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    SHOT FR SURE.... 😊👍👌

  • @vivienrhodes4248
    @vivienrhodes4248 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Re evaluating

  • @starrynight67
    @starrynight67 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    God, I wish she comes to Dallas

  • @mariamargaritis7743
    @mariamargaritis7743 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    12:43 👍

  • @arianamoore23
    @arianamoore23 3 ปีที่แล้ว +49

    I would like to hear a conversation with Esther and Jordan Peterson😍 could you imagine!!!

    • @kaalmansur
      @kaalmansur 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Not very fruitful I think. He is deterministic. She is progress oriented. Not so much to gain there I think.

    • @bearclaw5115
      @bearclaw5115 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@kaalmansur That's a good observation!

    • @Moonlight_Sonata19
      @Moonlight_Sonata19 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I knowww!

    • @reahndaku2230
      @reahndaku2230 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      💥💥💥

    • @dhaliadestrange
      @dhaliadestrange 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Why would we ever inflict that on her? 😆 No, we must protect this woman.

  • @ashimasood7109
    @ashimasood7109 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    If anyone can answer my question . How do we balance the contrasting economies ?

  • @seniorarubia
    @seniorarubia 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Soulmate on an app 😂😅😂 these is a trip

    • @MarkDekkersLife
      @MarkDekkersLife 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yeah the soul doesn’t need an app 😅

  • @missswann4234
    @missswann4234 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Am wondering how long it will take me to be like this lady on the field of relship expert 😎

  • @terec1111
    @terec1111 ปีที่แล้ว

    ❤ ❤❤❤❤❤

  • @viniciomattos
    @viniciomattos 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Warning , if you want to protect your relationship, don’t watch this woman , you will fall in love with her , I warned you !!!

  • @CarloGonzalezTV
    @CarloGonzalezTV 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    “We’re looking for soulmates on an app; thats quite a trip” sometimes its just in the delivery of what’s said. Dont get me wrong, I’m still going to use them 👀

    • @danbahaushe
      @danbahaushe 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      7nuj21⁰0 David ⁰00

    • @danbahaushe
      @danbahaushe 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Iqqqi1

    • @kirstinstrand6292
      @kirstinstrand6292 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I don't believe anyone will find a Soulmate until her/his own Soul is discovered.

    • @CarloGonzalezTV
      @CarloGonzalezTV 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@kirstinstrand6292 I *love* that

  • @hchafiih
    @hchafiih 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    0:23 is that Simon Sinek 😌

  • @rosesmith000
    @rosesmith000 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    power, trust, value... mmmm

  • @jorutherford1632
    @jorutherford1632 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Im in South Africa... it is very much the opposite what she described.

    • @grahambooth3225
      @grahambooth3225 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      At my work place there is a lady taking care of her brothers children and another lady who passed away and her kids are taken care of by the family. Less privileged parents and grandparents are taken care of by family. We are diverse you might experience it different than others and this is what she experienced, it's not a theory. Maybe I'm misinterpreting it completely?

    • @kirstinstrand6292
      @kirstinstrand6292 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@grahambooth3225 Yes, life is complex, as are all relationships and intrafamily responsibilities. Some choose to participate, others disappear. Life's ongoing complexities are mind boggling!

    • @Sam-tz8ou
      @Sam-tz8ou ปีที่แล้ว

      Haha yeah, I thought the same. Usually westerners think they are the only people with freedom.

  • @sophiakh9590
    @sophiakh9590 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I often wonder

  • @mariamargaritis7743
    @mariamargaritis7743 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    18:54 👨‍💻

  • @kaalmansur
    @kaalmansur 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    And where is the conversation?

  • @SabineSchories
    @SabineSchories 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Ò

  • @miriamdelcarmenisraelbrizu9829
    @miriamdelcarmenisraelbrizu9829 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Miss guity, dónde and

  • @thetruther954
    @thetruther954 ปีที่แล้ว

    Im not on the radar of men with massive followers. I’d like to get to know you, Esther, as much as that is possible. I hear everything you say, about the direct path to satisfying Esther be more about the obstacles that get in the way. That resonates with me, more than Bill Maher’s “that sounds crazy”, more that Esther’s mysterious ravishing she searches for being a man who will lovingly brush her hair. And, your husband Esther, I guess that’s why I wonder how it can be worth it. I mean let’s talk, let’s introduce obstacles, let’s masturbate in separate states, let’s send our emotions higher and higher as we get to that sweet knowledge we’ve never had and it seems impossible to share. Remarried to the same man 3-4 times? And that doesn’t do some real damage? I get what you’re saying, your husband wanting security, you still wanting to sow your wild Oates. Im not saying that’s my marriage, or my friends marriage, but it’s definitely your’s. And that’s how I understand the triangulation involved. Esther Perel’s marriage. Yeah, let’s get to it.

  • @Alejandrotrans
    @Alejandrotrans 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Please translate spanish!!! Subtítulos en español

  • @hamzehamer4921
    @hamzehamer4921 ปีที่แล้ว

    The Bible, the Qur'an and Science
    dr maurice bucaille
    AHMAD DEEDAT LECTURES
    Muslim Community Center (MCC) - East Bay is a vibrant faith-based organization that exudes a sense of community. Every day we attempt to love and worship God (great and glorified is He) and follow the teachings of the Holy Qur’an and the guidance of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).

  • @sharonthe
    @sharonthe 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Nice analysis, but it sterilizes the natural love interest. Love has no real value.
    I cannot be in a relationship that is not based on emotion but only on understanding the changing reality.

  • @wilfredsmith9505
    @wilfredsmith9505 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    The obedient birthday morphologically bleach because cost arguably overflow worth a rigid carrot. previous, woebegone band

  • @hlonni_chelsea6711
    @hlonni_chelsea6711 16 วันที่ผ่านมา

    So, Esther has been to South Africa????? Maybe my ears are lying to me.
    Esther has been here??????

  • @reallity4122
    @reallity4122 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    It is absolutely nonsense to claim that what a village did for one he/she now he/she except from one person-- wife/ husband!!!!
    What changed is more women obtained freedom of choices due to financial independence and with that we have now two bosses in the household and company of marriage goes down the toilet! Woman lost their identity and act like a man.

  • @renatanorcia1275
    @renatanorcia1275 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    She makes many blanket statements .1st one"We have never expected more from our partners than we do today..."etc.. But where is research to back up her statements? She's talking about her experiences with her patients and insights from specific towns and countries.It doesn't make it 100% so with everybody in the world?

    • @kirstinstrand6292
      @kirstinstrand6292 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Some "blanket statements" are worldwide generalizations. Her WISDOM is arrived at from experience. Learn to think, dear one, instead of processing rote criticism seen in TH-cam comments.

  • @anitoroyan272
    @anitoroyan272 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Do not like this

  • @Cat-qo2mn
    @Cat-qo2mn ปีที่แล้ว

    This woman has a background in art, not therapy. Maybe ask her how long she was actually practicing therapy - it's not 35 years. She waffles on with so much irrelevant information, and what is relevant is obvious to all of us - none of this is groundbreaking. Just because the dating landscape has changed, doesn't mean it's for the better. We are living in a world of narcissism right now, and we don't need more compromising of our morals and ethics when it comes to intimate relationships. I argue that she promotes and even encourages polygamy in relationships as well, and the way in which it is pushed in her books is nothing short of negligent. Lastly, psychotherapy is not backed by science, and they aren't taught anything about trauma, but only skim over the basics of the brain and nervous system. People like her are literally re-traumatising people by making victim-blaming blanket statements that are in favour of abusers. Every couple I've ever met that has subscribed her her nonsense, there is always one extremely selfish partner that cheats, and the other is expected to accept it and have an open relationship even when it goes against their values - all because this stupid woman says it's okay.