As an INTJ i like simple. The more complicated you are the less interesting. Don't confuse that with simple minded. Simple meaning no drama. I really hate complex social problems. I prefer quiet, deep thinking. I am married to an INFJ. So we both just like to be home. Reading and having deep conversation. She helps me understand my feelings. I like to think I add alot to the relationship but the best I can come up with is I fix everything. Im pretty sure she is really the brains of the operation.
I think she is smarter than me. I value her opinion and trust what she is saying. That is more than I can say for anyone else in the world. That doesn’t mean that I don’t question her. I do. I question everything and everyone. The great thing is we complement each other. What I lack she makes up.
Thank you, I have strong feelings for an INTJ Male (99% sure he is INTJ). I ( INFJ) have felt the rejection, but keep my spirits up because my intuition says he is The One. Completely agree with the trying to improve one self and strive to make others be a better self. I believe INTJ and INFJ share so many traits, except the Thinking VS Feeling. I've known him since childhood and we have dated but our timing has always been off. I am that the situation changes because I am finally in a much better place in all aspects of my life that I can truly respect and appreciate his personality and also bring a better me with the traits I can share. Thank you so greatly, it validated what I thought.
That would explain why I have never found someone who wants to date me. Most people don't want to change for the better, and want to be stuck with the familiar even if its painful, sad, boring, abusive, etc.
as an male intj myself, i ABSOLUTELY AGREE with your approach to dating. that is, its NOT about what things are. NO. instead, IT IS ALL ABOUT WHAT CAN BE. far too many people seem like theyre happy just staying static and staying/remaining basically, like, what they were when they were when they graduated high school and/or college. then, THEY JUST STAY THAT WAY AND POP OUT BABIES WHO THEY ALSO DESIGN TO BE EXACTLY LIKE THEM. LAME. HOW BORING CAN IT GET??????? NOT A GOOD relationship dynamic AT ALL. instead, IT IS ALL ABOUT WHAT CAN BE IN A DYNAMIC LIVING PROCESS.
watching your video is like hearing myself finally find the right words to explain why I am the way I am, be it my relationship with my wife or just about anything else. Thank you!
Everything you said was exactly me 100%. I am also an INTJ female and I have also noticed we typically have an interesting monotone when trying to express ourselves or articulate something important to us. 🤣
The 20 pages "let me think about it and i'll solve it for us" proposal, i think it's an NT thing, not just INTJ. Me as an ENTP also does that all the time and teaching myself to STOP doing that because as you said, it's verrrry overwhelming. The difference is instead of 20 pages proposal, I put on my ENTP pants and give a long hard NT TALK on how we can improve because I see solutions in multiple angles, a monologue for 1 minute straight and the other party (usually my ESTJ SO) stunned because of this
I (INFP) wouldn't have fallen in love with an INTJ had I not grown to a place in life where I am ready embrace growth and change, the universe simply won't let. To be completed by this spontaneous and internalized love is how I leave my mark in the cosmic.
I can feel a "aura" from some ppl that I cant be around. I think they have adhd and I hate to be around them for some reason. "I think of other people like loud furniture. If you dont serve a purpose no one going to use you".
Very accurate. I have had several people speak up on my "plans" for their future. Some people welcome it, others do not. I generally found that I just had to learn how to approach people. Change some words around to make the conversation smoother, however the message never changed. Made things much easier.
Attacked, when you said that you treat people based on their possibilities. 👀👀👀 People get pissed at my expectations, but I don't want to treat them like hopeless idiots, I expect more because I know they Can be more. If I have no expectations, that's an insult from me.
If you think you are with someone because of who you think they may become, STOP IT. LEAVE. or at least be honest with that person and tell them they are not good enough. (Usually that's a dealbreaker though)
Honestly, I think we are not good partners for normal dating but we can be better good partners when it comes to friendship. I really hate sweet words for my partner (sorry to her..) It makes me cringe. But I never cheated on her even once for 2 years. If women want to get excitement in date, INTJ is not a good choice. (it can be terrible!!!) But if she wants a stable, safe, and long term relationship, we can be good partners. Of course, we can be exciting while dating depending on a person's personality. But well, when it comes to ordinary personality, we are not a kind of that. (same NT can be like that each other.)
I dont have ambition, I have no reason to pursue stuff. Maybe some super small goals but nothing bigger. Only big thing I have is improving myself mainly my mind. Does that mean am not INTJ? If i dont have future goal? How did you created your big goals Mel Sigrist?
No, you're still an INTJ. You're still finding a way to better yourself but it's mentally which many people still don't value. It's more of a common stereotype but INTJs aren't monoliths.
@@Ragnarok540 yah. I’ve called texted even stopped by (he wasn’t home) and left a note. I’m trying to come to terms that he ghosted me even though we specifically talked about that before and he said we’d always talk about our problems like adults. I’m so over men/dating right now.
Were you able to get a hold of him? I’m an INTJ and ignored my bf before for about a week or two, I do this because I want my quiet time uninterrupted to process mostly emotions or to maintain my balance psychologically. Being interrupted by calls, texts and specially unannounced visit throws away what I’ve worked for the past days. After the balancing and processing, I come out of the nest. Unfortunately, I was accused of cheating even after explaining what I’ve been doing.
@@suzettee2707 i ended up just letting it go. he was too difficult to figure out. he's an intj but also bipolar so it was a bit much for me to deal with. it's one thing if at the outset of the relationship he said 'hey, i'm crazy. if i go missing for a week or two, i haven't broken up with you but just need time to myself" that's one thing but i was supposed to figure this out and i just got tired of it. i needed more
I watched many of your videos and this was one of the best ones so far. The points about desire for Change landed particularly well and brought a smile. The part that still irritates is that a lot of your content is still too rambling, where you keep talking and make noise without clarity as to where you are headed. You need to try to be more structured. i.e. Don't waste my time - my apologies, but, I am an INTJ and somewaht direct however hopefully it's appreciated!
also what do you think of consiousness existing beyond the physical body, like, the consiousness in you can exist after the body dies? and not only that your mind or consiousness can manifest things in the material relm?
Wow, I literally broke up with my ex because of his lack of ambition. I find it very unattractive. I honestly didn't want to be with him initially but he asked me out when I was delirious at 5 am smh.
INTJs without a developed parent function fall pray to their inferior and nemesis function. It makes them shitty humans that are self entitled and cruel- Very similar to an immature ENTJ that is like a soppy moapy spoilt child. So word of advice for any typing you want to date, ensure they’ve got a developed parent function so that their inferior and nemesis function doesn’t make them just awful to be with. If an INTJ has the developed parent functions, the world with them by your side becomes like playing on easy mode- from an ENTJ.
as an intj, doesnt your introverted intuition make up for a lack of emotional understanding in people, like, what you lack in emotional understanting your ni(intuition) can make up for that by synthesizing behavour?
maybe yes? but those would be longrun clues. Not burst of unlogical emotion. and isnt Ni based on myself as a person so it will only be analysing thru our concepts that we have. Also: it will be more focused not on peoples emotional problems for the most part rather on their systems, things, issues to fix/improve when Ni combined with Te (as INTJ). But i might be aboslutely incorect. And INTJ doesnt have fe so even less they gona be focused on specificly of how others feel and even less its gonna be their main focus (only if INTJ wants to improve it will focus on long run improvement of how it can never happen again or how INTJ doesnt have to deal with it again more then how to calm you down or how unlogicalness works coz thats too complex of a theme to analyse somehting unlogical of how it works and how it can be predicted.
"Everything can constantly be improved and made better". Music to my ears
INTJs want to improve systems. Humans are systems. We are humans. We want to improve ourselves and other humans.
As an INTJ i like simple. The more complicated you are the less interesting. Don't confuse that with simple minded. Simple meaning no drama. I really hate complex social problems. I prefer quiet, deep thinking. I am married to an INFJ. So we both just like to be home. Reading and having deep conversation. She helps me understand my feelings. I like to think I add alot to the relationship but the best I can come up with is I fix everything. Im pretty sure she is really the brains of the operation.
What do u mean of "brains of operation" ?
I think she is smarter than me. I value her opinion and trust what she is saying. That is more than I can say for anyone else in the world. That doesn’t mean that I don’t question her. I do. I question everything and everyone. The great thing is we complement each other. What I lack she makes up.
Thank you, I have strong feelings for an INTJ Male (99% sure he is INTJ). I ( INFJ) have felt the rejection, but keep my spirits up because my intuition says he is The One. Completely agree with the trying to improve one self and strive to make others be a better self. I believe INTJ and INFJ share so many traits, except the Thinking VS Feeling. I've known him since childhood and we have dated but our timing has always been off. I am that the situation changes because I am finally in a much better place in all aspects of my life that I can truly respect and appreciate his personality and also bring a better me with the traits I can share. Thank you so greatly, it validated what I thought.
That would explain why I have never found someone who wants to date me. Most people don't want to change for the better, and want to be stuck with the familiar even if its painful, sad, boring, abusive, etc.
as an male intj myself, i ABSOLUTELY AGREE with your approach to dating. that is, its NOT about what things are. NO. instead, IT IS ALL ABOUT WHAT CAN BE.
far too many people seem like theyre happy just staying static and staying/remaining basically, like, what they were when they were when they graduated high school and/or college. then, THEY JUST STAY THAT WAY AND POP OUT BABIES WHO THEY ALSO DESIGN TO BE EXACTLY LIKE THEM.
LAME.
HOW BORING CAN IT GET???????
NOT A GOOD relationship dynamic AT ALL.
instead, IT IS ALL ABOUT WHAT CAN BE IN A DYNAMIC LIVING PROCESS.
Lack of ambition is a thing for me too. That doesn't mean money however, it just means don't be lazy LOL!
Exactly. I’m constantly trying to improve. I just want you to be open to learning and getting better at stuff, also.
watching your video is like hearing myself finally find the right words to explain why I am the way I am, be it my relationship with my wife or just about anything else. Thank you!
Everything you said was exactly me 100%. I am also an INTJ female and I have also noticed we typically have an interesting monotone when trying to express ourselves or articulate something important to us. 🤣
The 20 pages "let me think about it and i'll solve it for us" proposal, i think it's an NT thing, not just INTJ. Me as an ENTP also does that all the time and teaching myself to STOP doing that because as you said, it's verrrry overwhelming. The difference is instead of 20 pages proposal, I put on my ENTP pants and give a long hard NT TALK on how we can improve because I see solutions in multiple angles, a monologue for 1 minute straight and the other party (usually my ESTJ SO) stunned because of this
I could have said ALL of this myself! Totally agree on all points. Prepare for a challenge if you wanna date an INTJ 😅
I (INFP) wouldn't have fallen in love with an INTJ had I not grown to a place in life where I am ready embrace growth and change, the universe simply won't let.
To be completed by this spontaneous and internalized love is how I leave my mark in the cosmic.
I can feel a "aura" from some ppl that I cant be around. I think they have adhd and I hate to be around them for some reason. "I think of other people like loud furniture. If you dont serve a purpose no one going to use you".
Very accurate. I have had several people speak up on my "plans" for their future. Some people welcome it, others do not. I generally found that I just had to learn how to approach people. Change some words around to make the conversation smoother, however the message never changed. Made things much easier.
Honest and humble. Impressive, Mel.
"including humans" haha. Love it.
Attacked, when you said that you treat people based on their possibilities. 👀👀👀 People get pissed at my expectations, but I don't want to treat them like hopeless idiots, I expect more because I know they Can be more. If I have no expectations, that's an insult from me.
Be ready to not be the most important 'thing' LOL!!!!!
You are def an INTJ :)
Or be an entp say fuck no to that and just argue till u win ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
If you think you are with someone because of who you think they may become, STOP IT. LEAVE. or at least be honest with that person and tell them they are not good enough. (Usually that's a dealbreaker though)
Yeah! Wait until they already are CEO, or have 3 kids, and is a widow!
Honestly, I think we are not good partners for normal dating but we can be better good partners when it comes to friendship. I really hate sweet words for my partner (sorry to her..) It makes me cringe. But I never cheated on her even once for 2 years. If women want to get excitement in date, INTJ is not a good choice. (it can be terrible!!!) But if she wants a stable, safe, and long term relationship, we can be good partners. Of course, we can be exciting while dating depending on a person's personality. But well, when it comes to ordinary personality, we are not a kind of that. (same NT can be like that each other.)
I dont have ambition, I have no reason to pursue stuff. Maybe some super small goals but nothing bigger. Only big thing I have is improving myself mainly my mind. Does that mean am not INTJ? If i dont have future goal? How did you created your big goals Mel Sigrist?
No, you're still an INTJ. You're still finding a way to better yourself but it's mentally which many people still don't value. It's more of a common stereotype but INTJs aren't monoliths.
I don't know any INTJs with more than ten high school yearbook signatures...and yet, you had 'hundreds'?
Interesting...
Never conceptualized it that way, but yeah, you nailed it.
Great video!
Good advice!
I have an INTJ boyfriend and literally haven’t heard from him in over 3 days. I don’t know if we’re broken up or he’s just being an INTJ. 🤦🏾♀️
Have you tried contacting him? I have never ignored someone I like trying to contact me.
@@Ragnarok540 yah. I’ve called texted even stopped by (he wasn’t home) and left a note. I’m trying to come to terms that he ghosted me even though we specifically talked about that before and he said we’d always talk about our problems like adults. I’m so over men/dating right now.
Were you able to get a hold of him? I’m an INTJ and ignored my bf before for about a week or two, I do this because I want my quiet time uninterrupted to process mostly emotions or to maintain my balance psychologically. Being interrupted by calls, texts and specially unannounced visit throws away what I’ve worked for the past days. After the balancing and processing, I come out of the nest. Unfortunately, I was accused of cheating even after explaining what I’ve been doing.
@@suzettee2707 i ended up just letting it go. he was too difficult to figure out. he's an intj but also bipolar so it was a bit much for me to deal with. it's one thing if at the outset of the relationship he said 'hey, i'm crazy. if i go missing for a week or two, i haven't broken up with you but just need time to myself" that's one thing but i was supposed to figure this out and i just got tired of it. i needed more
Just an intj.
Asp.Net 1.0?! Are you recording this in a museum or a time machine?
I watched many of your videos and this was one of the best ones so far. The points about desire for Change landed particularly well and brought a smile. The part that still irritates is that a lot of your content is still too rambling, where you keep talking and make noise without clarity as to where you are headed. You need to try to be more structured. i.e. Don't waste my time - my apologies, but, I am an INTJ and somewaht direct however hopefully it's appreciated!
also what do you think of consiousness existing beyond the physical body, like, the consiousness in you can exist after the body dies? and not only that your mind or consiousness can manifest things in the material relm?
had friends stop talking to me because of that, they just want to stay confortable,
Wow, I literally broke up with my ex because of his lack of ambition. I find it very unattractive. I honestly didn't want to be with him initially but he asked me out when I was delirious at 5 am smh.
INTJs without a developed parent function fall pray to their inferior and nemesis function. It makes them shitty humans that are self entitled and cruel- Very similar to an immature ENTJ that is like a soppy moapy spoilt child. So word of advice for any typing you want to date, ensure they’ve got a developed parent function so that their inferior and nemesis function doesn’t make them just awful to be with. If an INTJ has the developed parent functions, the world with them by your side becomes like playing on easy mode- from an ENTJ.
Hey INTJ! ENFP here lmao 😆
My boyfriend is INTJ. I am entertaining the idea of proposing to him. Good, bad idea? Thank you.
as an intj, doesnt your introverted intuition make up for a lack of emotional understanding in people, like, what you lack in emotional understanting your ni(intuition) can make up for that by synthesizing behavour?
maybe yes? but those would be longrun clues. Not burst of unlogical emotion. and isnt Ni based on myself as a person so it will only be analysing thru our concepts that we have. Also: it will be more focused not on peoples emotional problems for the most part rather on their systems, things, issues to fix/improve when Ni combined with Te (as INTJ). But i might be aboslutely incorect. And INTJ doesnt have fe so even less they gona be focused on specificly of how others feel and even less its gonna be their main focus (only if INTJ wants to improve it will focus on long run improvement of how it can never happen again or how INTJ doesnt have to deal with it again more then how to calm you down or how unlogicalness works coz thats too complex of a theme to analyse somehting unlogical of how it works and how it can be predicted.
Do you think most intj girls have the same eyes as you? Who else does? All the girls who liked me, and vice versa, had eyes like this...
Just don't ever surprise me.
Aren't INTJ's kinda mean towards the individual they have a crush on? Also I think the best types for INTJ's are ENFP / ESFP / INTP & ENTJ
Yes, banter is my middle name lol
they dont want to grow 😊
I wont date them neither are they. They will judge me.
U seem very Entp