The Ornament

Lyrics:
(spoken)
[voice one]
What in the...What kind of Christmas ornament is THAT?
[voice two]
Lemmie tell ya aaalllll about it....
[verse]
Paw paw was a cusser,
a downright outta sight fusser,
a crabby old man
with a craggy old tan,
he'd get fightin' mad,
but he was fightin' that,
cuz his daughter had brought'er
tribe of brats,
and granny sez no blue lingo,
so papa played the good gringo;
subbing out the harsh words
scrubbing out those parts heard by the lil-amigos,
It was cheesy like some cheat-toes,
[bridge]
His voice would lift and then halt
as the kids did all of their faults,
and my memories seem to have caught it all
[chorus]
Aw FOOT, what the HAPPY did you do that SEAHORSE for?
For fah-lah-lah-luh-lah sakes, you cain't even buy those no more!
Now it's all broken on the floor,
This is the kyna thang cussing was invented for
This is the kyna thang cussing was invented for
AAAAAAAAIIII-YEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
[verse]
I remember the time we were actin' bad,
runnin around bein brats swingin' bats out by his Jag,
and ya shoulda seen him arrive to his ride inna flash,
death in his step and his eyes, it was we he wanna thrash,
He stammers and yammers than held back his wrath
as we stood there next to broken glass,
He really wanted to kick our ass...sessments out his path...
He was all:
[chorus]
Aw FOOT, what the HAPPY did you do that SEAHORSE for?
For fah-lah-lah-luh-lah sakes, I just replaced that car door!
Now the window's busted and what for,
This is the kyna thang cussing was invented for
This is the kyna thang cussing was invented for
AAAAAAAAIIII-YEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
[verse]
Now you know what you're seein' in thes tree,
It ain't no ill effect of ell ess dee,
It's just an odd lil memory
that got lost in the mix till it hit me from my family,
Paw Paw's gone but here's a piece of his legacy, what he left to me
or at least somethin' born from-it
this here weird Christmas ornament...
Whoo...a foot with a tatoo of a seahorse adornin' it,
a foot with a tatoo of a seahorse adornin' it,
adornin it
and here's the scorn you'll get if you don't warm to it:
[chorus]
Aw FOOT, what the HAPPY did you do that SEAHORSE for?
For fah-lah-lah-luh-lah sakes, I just told you the whole score!
You ain't gotta love it but don't shove it in the dark cor-nor,
This is the kyna thang cussing was invented for
This is the kyna thang cussing was invented for
AAAAAAAAIIII-YEEEEEEEEEE!!!!