DITL: Sharing My Battle with Mom Guilt
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 ธ.ค. 2024
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Have you ever found yourself drowning in the invisible weight of expectations, trying to be everything for everyone-especially as a mom? I have. And if I’m honest, the holidays seem to magnify this struggle. In this video, I open up and share my struggle with comparison and mom guilt. Let me know in the comments if you've battled with this as well and share the ways you overcome it deep within. A blessed Holiday season to all!
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#mennonitemom #minimaldecor #christmas
Deb here. You are blessed to have a child's fingerprints on your window.
Amen! And thank you, Deb. Merry Christmas!
You are to hard on yourself, you are a wonderful mom and a lady we can look up to and feel blessed by your videos
Wow I needed this today! Thanks for sharing
Such a relatable story. Mom guilt is my life, always has been. After becoming a grandma, I suffer grandma guilt also. Along with a life dealing with health issues and depression, I almost always feel defeated. My only solace is that God knows, and cares for me. He loves my children more than I ever could, even at my best.
Your children lack nothing, it is clear that they are loved and very well cared for. Be encouraged. Thank you for your honesty and not making your videos falsely picture perfect. 💙
Your home is beautiful. Your children are beautiful. You and you husband are great parents. Everyone has strength and weakness. It’s the way we are made. Your children are sure happy. Enjoy life to the fullest enjoy you little ones . Love your channel. You are real . I think you are a great wife and mother💕
Your children's fingerprints on the window brought tears to my eyes. Up to that point of the video, I thought you were saying it SO right. But then I remembered something I had heard someone say. Your children are there, with you, happy and healthy, to leave their fingerprints for you to see😢😊❤
“Comparison is the thief of joy”. Your words were so well spoken, thanks for the refreshing reminder of truth! All the best and Merry Christmas!
Finally someone that feels like I do about arts and crafts, hearing you share I took a deep breathe knowing I could fully identify. I know about that guilt feeling, but my kids are grown and they never rub it under my nose about not doing alot of crafty projects. I see you do so many wonderful things with your children, they are blessed!!! I am so thankful God made each of us different!! Merry Christmas!
Yay, another mom that resonates with the anti craft feeling, LOL. Glad to hear your children survived without a lot of them. Merry Christmas!
Thank you! Thank you for this reminder at this extremely busy time of year! After years of dealing with mom guilt, I graduated to grandma guilt 5 years ago! I hate to say it ladies but the guilt continues on into the next generation! It just changes! It becomes less about the day to day raising of the child and more about the balance between making lasting memories with your grandkids and filling your golden years with your own joy! Time definitely becomes a factor! Anyways, I’m going to promise myself to just be happy with what I bring to their lives and not what any of the other grandmas do! 😄
Growing up, we didn't have crafts or projects either. Just coloring books. I never felt like i missed anything. For me, the most important thing was that my mom was HOME. If i needed something, she was there. I just pray I can keep being blessed to be a stay at home mom, as many are not able to
Thank you for bringing to reality what many of us feel and think. We are enough and to hard on ourselves as parents. You are a wonderful mom who has more to offer to your children than you realize
Beautifully said! I think many moms feel like this. I like how you said we each have special gifts, and we need to let go of those other things that we do not do well. Count your blessings, if you family is happy and healthy we are doing a good job!
“Mom Rage Cleaning”! I love that expression!!! Thanks for the laugh. My own mom used to do it sometimes and now I do too. The frustration with untidiness (and in my case a lack of help from the mess-makers) builds up and sometimes the only outlet is a good rage clean. As long as it doesn’t happen too often, I think it’s therapeutic!
Your words ring loud and true. Although I “suffer” from a different kind of mom guilt, I appreciate your thoughtful words. Now, to embrace the strengths I do have!
You put words to the guilts I struggled with all the years my children were growing up. Now my children are 27-31 years old. I still have moments that I feel like I fall short as a mom. My adult children assure me they had a good childhood and nothing to feel guilty about.
May you find peace in times of storms. Gratitude is a great attitude changer.
Merry Christmas
Great video! We mothers need to give ourself grace.
You're an awesome mom!!! Love the 'book-a-night' concept! I'm a minimalist too. I think your travel planning and adventures are the most incredible gift - such memories are being made! I was in the military and my son traveled with me all over the world. Some of his favorite memories were made in different areas of the world....and because I was in the military, not much money was available. We were minimalists before it was cool to be so!
Honestly, you are a wonderful Mom. I am a g grandma. Really appreciated this video and forwarded it to my 4 grown daughters.
Your children are precious. Also you gave me a few chuckles, thank you.
Gods blessings 🙏
😀 thank you. Glad you got the tongue in cheek sarcasm. 😅 have a blessed Christmas
All beautifully said. The reality of being a mom.
Great reminder. Just focus and embrace the things you enjoy doing for your family....your the "fun experience" and "book reading" mom, you dont have to be the tidy house and crafty mom! Im the book and crafty mom which automically cancels out any tidiness! But thats because messes dont stress me out😂
Hi Jeannine!! What an excellent reminder to all of us mamas! I fall into that trap of mom guilt all the time.
I find that my super power is giving my children a fun childhood. Rather it's park days or going to the trampoline park or going to the library and sometimes miniature golf. When time and money allows we do mini trips.
My children will remember more of having fun rather then doing art and crafts.
Plus I'm like you where I get over welmded with all the things that take place in doing arts and crafts.
I'm no baker but I do bake occasionally.
I do provide my family a clean and safe home.
I'm not the best cook but I try.
I just like to see my children smile and laugh and have fun.
❤️ 💙
What a great message and reminder you gave all of us moms to remember.🥰😍
Lexi has grown sooo much !! I love the garland w the dried oranges !! You did a beautiful job !! 🎅 ❤️💚❤️💚
Jeanine, you should write a book my dear! You have such a good gift with words! Youre a fantastic mom,just the way you are❤😊Hugs from Missouri ❤
I can relate so much to most of the video. Just so you know your not alone.
You give beautiful gifts to your family. Experiences they will always remember. Sweets and decorating they will not. Plus I love you simple, tasteful decorating. Go mama!
Yep that's me, I get energized about decorating but I buckle under the thought of planning a vacation. Let it go Janine! Your home is so beautiful and I look around at all of my Christmas decor and ended up dreading the thought of taking it all down. I also do it because it brings me joy, but I dread when my friends come in and almost mock my talent as something they will never attain. So I end up apologizing for it all the time. I've learned to say "Its just hobby that makes me happy" and that kinda silences them, but I wish I could just let it go too. Merry Christmas Janine
I absolutely loved this! I wish I could sit at your kitchen table and sip coffee with you!
Kindred spirit here - The struggle is real! Thanks for the inspiration.
Thank you for sharing your heart and helping us all feel heard and understood. I truly believe one of the best gifts we can give ourselves is grace. Be blessed sweet friend 😊💕
Raw... and real. Your candid honesty is one of the endearing factors that brings me back to your channel. I am a 2nd time mom. My "starter kids" are in their 30's lol. I can SO relate to the mom rage, the frustration and disappointment when the perfect mom persona did not show up. My second batch of kids I had in my fifties, so I have a whole new perspective but the mom guilt is real. I thank you for sharing this authentic exploration of thoughts and feelings surrounding the yuletide season as it relates to expectations. I am enough and so are you my friend. Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Aww wow you have a lot on your plate with a second round of raising when you're older. My MIL is in the same position, with Nolans adopted siblings. Thanks for coming back and for the encouragement. You got this. We got this 😀 have a blessed Christmas!
What an awesome video. I,too, have a very low tolerance for noise and chaos. And I won’t even talk about clutter. lol. I think that’s why I struggle with Christmas every year. Your video made me feel not-so-alone, as I watch others embrace and enjoy all the decorating and baking. Thank you for your honesty!
I had an hunch note felt like myself. I feel it's hard enough to manage the clutter and chaos of normal life. I think that's why it suddenly feels overwhelming... 😔 have a lovely Christmas!
A wonderful video. You are right. Don´t compare. You are enough for you, the children and your husband. Wishing you all a merry christmas and wonderful vacations in the next years from germany
Thank you and Merry Christmas to you as well!
Hugs!!! Not the only mom with mom guilt. Thankful to our Lord that He is with us, guiding us and growing us. He made us for a reason for His Glory, just as you are.
I wish there was a love button!! I love all your videos, but this one is so good. You have such a way with words and are so relatable.
I so enjoyed this video. Regardless what the enemy tells you, you are doing an awesome job and your family is a light of craved normalcy to this upside-down world. May the Lord continue to bless you and your family. Merry Christmas!
Hey Jeannine in my opinion you summed it up early on in your video - some Mom’s have seemingly endless energy. I personally don’t believe the perfect Mom exists. We all just do our best - some Mom’s are good at cooking and/or baking, some are good at decorating, some are good at craft, some good at gardening and creating a pantry. I could go one with many more examples but in truth no one person is good at everything (not even me!). What really matters is that your children have the love of their parents who nourish not only their bodies but their spiritual needs too. I reckon your children have more than most in this regard. Please be kind to yourself and grant yourself a little grace. If you look after yourself then your whole family will benefit. Festive greetings from a very chilly London, England.
Daily mom guilt here. As a single mom with no family close to help, it’s constantly on my mind that I can’t sit down and play with my kiddo as much as I would like. I’m always doing laundry dry, dishes, cleaning or cooking. Meanwhile my ex has his father under the same roof to help so the work load is split.
Someday my kiddo will understand the weight of being a single parent. And hopefully 🤞🏼 appreciate how hard his mama worked at giving him a clean loving home.
U have such a way with words!
Great video, all l see is 2 happy , smiling kids, so you're doing something right, the sour dough bread looks delicious, so don't fret the small things, the house cleaning will can wait,enjoy yourself. Robyn .... Australia
Merry Christmas To You And To You'r Family, You'r A Amazing Mom And You'r Children Are Amazing.
Thank you and Merry Christmas to you too! God bless!
Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year!!!!
I really enjoyed this video, took me back to my days when my kids were young. I struggled with patience and wasn't always kind. But my kids turned out wonderful. They're 37 and 32 today with kids of their own.
Whew.... so good to hear! Thank you for sharing. I wish i never lost my cool, but it happens and I apologize, but I do worry about them sometimes. Loved hearing your perspective looking back
Thanks so much for this video,Jeanine! So needed ,so true! -Another mama
The AUTOIMMUNE LIFE !
✨Fantastic TRUTH! Having comparisons and expectations in our lives and hearts…disrupts and embitters the joy that GOD desires us to have. Knowing this I still struggle with mom/wife guilt. I’m plagued with several autoimmune diseases. I can’t clean our house or fix most meals. I’m in bed lots of days till the afternoon. My husband is the bread winner and maker of our home. I do struggle with guilt. My
strength is in knowing that my life doesn’t take our precious Lord by surprise.
If I was baking our children knew company was coming! I was not a baker by habit but our children grew up with love.
Ah, this sounds all too familiar 😀 thanks for sharing 🥰
I hear you! Life isn’t always a walk in the park! You are a wonderful mother, your two children are adorable, and you have a wonderful marriage! I love the ending of your video…..you have it all in order! Merry Christmas to you and your family!! Love from Pennsylvania 💕🌷🐻
You’re a great mom! No one can do all the things!! ❤
Thank you 😀 i hope you have a lovely Christmas
@ y’all Merry Christmas!!! ❤️
Thank you ❤
What an awesome video ! Blessings
Another lovely video ~
Merry Christmas 🎄
I needed this today! I'm a mom of two too. I guess we're struggling with the same thing.
The battle is real. 😀 I hope you have a lovely Christmas
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and being real. 🙏🏻
I love your garland!🙏🏻❤️🎄👍🏻
I needed your video today! Thank you so much! 🙂
You're amazing 😊
Never try to all the things you will only dissapoint yourself you have 2 healthy children and a husband that adore you, you should never have mom guilt its for fools you are who you are you are just perfect as you are x
Beautiful. Thank you. ❤
I admire you so much. You are amazing. Your home is your home. You do what feels right for your family. Your kids are happy, they know they are loved and they are being taught Jesus. Jeannine, you know I love Nolan. He loves his family and his wife. He's an amazing guy. You are truly blessed and Nolan knows he is blessed to have an amazing wife. God is so good. Don't ever sell yourself short.
I am the worst at putting terrible expectations on myself, far more than anyone else would expect. It’s been really tough since my husband died because I don’t get any help. He was always so willing to run the vacuum, load the dishwasher, cook a meal, or scrub a floor if it helped relieve some pressure on me while decorating, baking, and wrapping gifts.
I have spent the last 3 days working on my tree. It’s an old artificial tree that’s gotten difficult to wrangle and then the lights were giving me fits. I finally gave up and went to Walmart this morning to buy some new lights. I have finally gotten the garland strung and started putting the ornaments on. Hopefully I’ll have it done before dinner time.
First I'm so sorry for your loss... I don't see how you do it alone, as i look at my life and how most I rely on my husband. Don't stress out of you don't get it done! Honestly. It's OK. 😀
As long as your children know they are- loved life is good. We can't be every thing at all. We dro what we are capable of. I did lots of crafts with my 2 but I rarely baked them cookies. My house was far from perfect. I would rather play with a child than dust. You are doing great.
I really enjoyed this video! Have a wonderful Christmas!
Thanks so much and same to you! Merry Christmas!
Oh wow so so relatable!! Thanks so much Janeen! You had me laughing at the relatable-ness. I love your thoughts and shots of normal life. I am that Baking mom-I just love it!! But then I’m easily guilted by the Cleaning mom and Healthy mom. This is a journey for me too. Thanks again for sharing…
😁 I'm glad you enjoyed. I figured i can't be the only one! And hats off to you for the joy of baking. Lean into and feed the starving families that have dreamers for mothers. 🤣🤣 just kidding. I couldn't resist. But I love a baking mom's kitchen and fridge.
Haha will do. Come over and stock up for your family anytime… gives my Healthy Mom ideal a sigh of relief to get them out of here🤭
Love this. Wise words 🥰
Good video! Gives one lots to think about!💐
I LOVE LOVE LOVE the palette you used and trying to strive to do it! Off white, pine boughs, tan or camel colors. It's easy in the eye. I always did Too much and kids grew and don't want all my lights and decorations it all the totes. I do exactly like you, anxiety where to place it. I move it 4 times over a couple weeks until I'm ok then take a picture thinking I'll do it the exact same way next year. But I open a tote then think where are those pictures on my cell phone and just do it ..same process. You have to remain in the moment. Sounds like you're hyper vigilante and fretting to do it perfectly or comparing. I've learned if I see a picture of room I like I screen shot and then examine what it is that I like. I like too much. It's actually helping me organize my thoughts and get rid of it repurpose things to give it a new look. You've described everything so comprehensively here so it's like identify with it like it's a soft blanket. Hope your holidays are soft, cozy, warm, spicy, laughter and building memories. You're special. Stop beating yourself up. Your kids will thank you when they are older and have already learned that you're giving nature is huge to them, your husband, home and you're even juggling a business and entertaining us. I'm humbled by you and your strength. Yes. Now so take a long bath with some white noise ocean or Christmas music. Then have some hot cocoa to calm you for bedtime. 🌲 🎁🌲🎁🌲
Each year add oranges or small red berries even from a hike. Kids can paint acorns to change the color scheme or add to it. The greenery is what makes us happy. 😊
I pray that you are able to let go of any comparisons. Enjoy your family and the way you've chosen to live. We have one life on earth, I do believe it grieves God's heart for us to be constantly trying to meet others goals. Live a life that honors God. That's the goal.
Loved this!
And how right you are
That was beautiful.
Wonderful video. So so true. We try to be all of those mothers. And its hard to remember that we cant...and shouldnt try to be all lf those mothers with all of those stengths and talents and ideas. Our children need THEIR mother....mot everyones mother. ;)
There are others out in the world that "hate" arts and crafts. You are not alone.
🤣 yay! Great to know
Janine, if you ever hit with mom guilt again. Look at your babies. Are they smiling for the most part? Yes? Then you are doing everything right. From the looks of these couple of minutes peek into your life, I think you are doing it right.
Yes ma’am! ❤❤❤
Oh my gosh, Zander and hide and seek with Rocky😂😂😂
I love this. You are a wise wife & mom. God bless you , your husband & children! Merry Christmas at this season of remembering Jesus’ birth!
Daycore, never heard that pronunciation of decor b4😂
Hi Mrs Martin 😊
Cud you tell me where to purchase bread pans like the ones you have in these pictures . Thanks
Hi Janine what a lovely video , the book a day is such a lovely idea for children , not sure if your post again before Christmas so I’m going wish you a very joyful Christmas and new year with kind regards from this follower in England xx
Thank you. No I don't believe I will be posting till after so a lovely Christmas and happy new year to you as well!
Beautiful video, we’ve all got weakness and strength.
In my weakness that I may lean on the Lord, our strong tower.
When I am strong, that I will remember who gave me the strength, the Lord Almighty alone.
Peace ‘n blessings to you all through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Janine, you’re definitely an adventure girl😅, which I can’t be, but we can embrace our differences. Thank you for all the adventure videos you made.
Thank you for the encouragement. It's so true. It's the Lord that gives and we rely on in everything. God bless you and a joyful christmas to you and yours!
Just ask your Mom to show you how to shape bread into loaves , I’m sure every Mennonite lady does it the same rather it’s sourdough or not 😄 And I hate crafts and shopping and am not that great at decor . But I learned in m 61 years that if I like it that’s all that matters and I can admit I’m all thumbs when it comes to crafting and the project usually looks like something a first grader did 😂. Love your humor!
❤ I fully enjoyed this video. Thanks Janine. I want to be the mom that my children need. ❤
thank you! I echo your desire. Have a blessed Christmas!
Beautiful vlog post❤️🔥😭😍😘😘
🙌🙌
I love you you are a great mom
aww thank you, and Merry Christmas!
Love your channel ❤
That means so much to me! Blessed Christmas to you
Do you have a recipe for a sourdough starter? I was given one 20 plus yrs ago when I got married and would love to try one again.
I was going to have it up on my website but haven't gotten it up yet. I'll try to do that in the near future and share on here.
@ awesome! Thank you!!😊
❤
Nolan permitted you to buy Roxy??
Yes. On any big purchases, we need to mutually agree. Both for him and myself 😀
Janine you are real,you is doing fab ,just do it your way ,breathe and relax.🌹🧘♀️🎄🌺🍀💐🏴
😅 thank you. Meet Christmas 🎄
Is it possible that 'mum guilt' is a desire to be part of a club? Women are more likely to be joiners, even to our own determent. Are you suffering from Fear Of Missing Out of being a member of the Mum Guilt Club? Who would you be if you were a member of I Did My Best Today Mum Club, in all aspects Fitness, Faith, Family, Friends and Fun? That doesn't mean who did everything perfect but you did not sacrifice one of the 5 Fs or another of the Fs. Are the picture perfect mothers, happy, healthy and actually present with their family and friends and actually having fun?
KInd of chuckling about how you hate arts and crafts as you make home made bread and dehydrate oranges for decorating, and wrap 25 books. It's all in the definition, I guess, but all those are some form of crafting to me. It is no fun to feel Mom guilt. I still feel it after my kids are grown and actually doing great on their own. Not sure if it is Mom guilt or if it is recognition of personal failures along the way. Way to late, after the kids were grown, the true meaning of "enough for each day is it's worries", the meaning of that saying of Jesus became a revelation to me. Jeanine, I challenge you to live one moment at a time as best, with the most virtue, you can. Anything before is past. Anything after hasn't come yet. Soon you will recognize, that we can do no good apart from God. If He is not working through us, living in us, the inspiration behind every move, we will surely fail. It is OK if He allows that, even if He allows it often, because we easily forget how much we need Him and that life is about serving Him first. As a Mom you serve Him by serving the ones before you, the kids and Nolan, but it means nothing if it isn't done as though you were serving Christ Himself. When we feel what we do isn't enough, we may be forgetting how every effort is blessed. You do FANTASTIC for the piece of dust you are. Many NDE (near death experience) people tell us that we are SURROUNDED by love. Acts 17:28 "In Him we live, and move, and have our being." and He is LOVE. Hope these thoughts help you let go of any stress or comparison because if Xander is not the best at all things, do you love him less? Is he less wonderful? Absolutely NOT. He is perfectly Xander, a great soul in progress. Now if you can see Xander that way, How much more can God see you that way? You are God's CHILD, a little stumbling toddler compared to your Father. He probably watches you bemused, but definitely in love on those guilt days. God bless and Merry Christmas!
I too felt guilt, when my children would start school, not knowing how to properly use scissors and glue sticks 😅. Arts and crafts was not one of my talents!
🤣 Thank you for the laugh. I so can relate
😂🤣 a pet robot vacuum
Best pet ever! 🤣
Lexi looks like her daddy to me today.
Yes she definitely favors him!
🥰❤❤❤❤❤👍🙏🎅
You’re doing fine Jeanine. I’d be scared if you were more like one other Mennonite mom. 😆 🤗. Lol
I'm not sure who you're referring to. 🙂 my video wasn't pointing at anyone. I love seeing other moms talents, my personal friends as well as people online. it's just an internal comparison trap that needs to go. It's no one's fault but my own. 😀
Get over yourself!
Nolan “permitted” you, to purchase Rocky? LOL, you’re not the personality to let anyone “permit” you to do anything, And I’m sure it’s the other way around😜
Oooh, I can so relate. I was always comparing myself to others. I tried not to do this but still did. 🫤 Anxiety thru the roof. I still struggle. 🙁