As a 40 year old man, I’m childfree by choice for a lengthy laundry list of reasons. Children are expensive, parenthood is a lot of responsibility and it’s immoral, unethical and thoughtless to bring a child into existence….The list goes on and on.
My old best friend started having kids at 19. She mocked my single life as if traveling and acting my age was a total embarrassment. I noticed she only ever encouraged me to have kids when she was stressed and feeling trapped. When she turned 30 she told me she loved her kids but wished she waited until she was much older. Don’t let anyone sell you on the dream of parenthood because most of the time, it’s a misery loves company situation. If it’s not deeply in your spirit after much therapy and family planning, do not do it.
I highly recommend that all teenage girls do a LOT of babysitting, and for neighbors you hardly know, not just family members. It will teach you so much about if you want that life full time for yourself. The summer of my 16th year I babysat for FOUR boys every working day of the summer for a working “single mother” (her husband was in a mental institution). The boys were 10 months old, a two year old, a four yo, and a six year old. All day, every day, for the entire summer, at 16! I knew by the end of that summer I never wanted kids, not even one. Cured for life. Our church conned me into doing the job, probably thinking it would make me want to be a mother, whereas, the joke was on them!
The feelings your have toward your child has nothing in common with what you feel toward some stranger kids when you’re 16. Zero connection. I’ve never particularly liked any random babies or children. Once you have your own, it changes everything. And the thing is, you will never experience it unless you do it. That is all.
The first girl crying 😢😢😢 it is really hard raising children. I’m a married woman with two kids and I still cry because of not being able to do certain things. That’s just one of the many reason mothers cry.
One and done , I use to have time and patience until I had a child , those went out the window , I'm sticking with the I regret being a mom but I'm not bringing another one in so my child can have a sibling camp
The obsession with our decision is hysterical. Like miss ma'am, if you're happy let it go. Let it go. I didn't ask to be here, lm going to do the best I can to survive it. I am kind to children, helpful to others but even if I wasn't, my life is not owed to you all. Why is that so hard to understand
I've noticed that parenthood is hardest on those who have the least resources (money, family help etc). Both parents working full time is so stressful. And don't forget some need IVF (which isn't cheap)
How do so many women fall for the Cinderella narrative of motherhood? Don't they observe the daily lives of their friends & relatives who have kids? I think that once they obs3rve what's going on, no amount of words should sway them.
In certain regions areas of the USA, getting pregnant could be life threatening. If the fetus is unviable (e.g. ectopic pregnancy), you can't get emergency care because MDs are afraid of prosecution. So you're literally taking your life in your hands to carry a child to term. I love that Gen Z is saying eff this. When birth rates are down all over the world, maybe women will finally get some respect. (but I doubt it, women will just be forced to bear children)
I was shocked that the Surgeon General's warning didnt make more of a stink online. It was clearly validating about how stressful it is from apublic health perspective and for some reason it didnt get much notice online, on social media, and barely in the medis.
I have 4 children , a 48 year marriage, 16 grandchildren and 13 great grandchildren . Love them all and have no words to describe the joy they have brought me . However i find it absolutely shocking that anyone would tell someone else that they should or shouldnt have children ! Its no one elses business if people dont or do want to have children . Good grief .
Getting pregnant by accident three times is better than getting pregnant and using abortion as birth control over and over again. Atleast she took responsibility each time.
As a woman without children... the first lady is odd. Shes crying because they called her to get her kid from the gym daycare? Is this like the straw that broke the camels' back thing? Is she just emotionally immature? The other lady said she got pregnant 1, 2 , 3 times by mistake? Does she have a thinking problem? After the first "mistake," she didn't change her actions? I knew I didn't want to have kids in my 20s, but now, in my 30s, im emotionally mature to understand if i did have a child 1 is enough. I totally understand those who do not want kids, but half the people who had kods weren't ready emotional or financially at all.
She was just expressing how much her life has changed and she can't have even the smallest amount of time to herself. It's frustrating and she us just venting
Your views are spot on common sense but in this society common sense is controversial. These silly women allow deadbeat bums access to their wombs then whine and cry that they're a single mom with no help. "I was tricked! He baby trapped me!!" "I can't afford childcare! The government needs to step in and help me!!" "I can't afford to feed my kids but got pregnant again..." 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 There's no reasoning with unreasonable people. #Childfree4Life 😎😎😎
The problem is not parenting- the problem is two adults both working full time and trying to raise a family at the same time. That’s just not possible. Unless you have a lot of money to pay for help, or have grandparents/friends/ relatives who are able and willing to help, it’s too much. I don’t have kids- never a specific choice- just never in a place where it was possible. I don’t regret not having them. But this societal ideal of two parents having successful careers, a perfect home, perfect bodies, and perfect kids is just a toxic fantasy.
It's not just that though. It's also about men's character. Years down the line or just after birth, they suddenly change up. You either end up a single mom (whether with or without them) or like chris watts' wife, lol.
Except… that isn’t true. The vast majority of divorces are initiated by women, not men. And you could say “oh well, yes, but the women are driven to it by the awful behaviour of their husbands”- which I think IS true- but it’s far more about wives not getting anything emotionally from their husbands far more than it’s about violence or infidelity. (And when talking about male infidelity- who are they being unfaithful with? Mostly it’s MARRIED women….) So- why are men and women on such different pages about relationships? Not just “romantic” - ALL relationships- work, neighbours, relatives, kids, friends- all of it? Yes- there is a biological element but mostly it’s because we socialise boys and girls differently. Girls must be nice and sweet, boys must be strong and brave. Nobody must show who they really are. How is that a recipe for anything but confusion, frustration and misery all round?
They said was profiling and how wonderful it was - and family will always be there for you , I wanted a daughter to give her what I never had , I had a son - I love my son however the family that never abandons you - abandoned me - they didn't respect me and treat me like a child myself but add gaslighting , threatening and manipulating me during the hardest time of my life when I needed love and support.. my husbands family came through to prevent us from being In the streets after my mother threatened cps on me , I am no contact and miss my family and the abuse - I can't explain why it's just undergoing Narssistic abuse for so long makes you so use to it , you will miss it- and my mother has been on a smear campaign so the family I was neutral with thinks I'm an abusive mother. I guess I should be thankfull that putting my son over my feelings for my family. Though there alive I'm grieving - atleast if they'd die I'd have closure , I also have to be the one to stop the cycle of abuse .. no one tells you that your unresolved trauma comes back and added trauma of giving birth along with postpartum depression/ minor sphycosis from not sleeping- small hallucinations ( normal ) , anxiety and hormones - dude the consequences of those were bad - I was ready to fight anyone and everyone that even looked at me the wrong way or slightly made my day inconvenient .. and it wasn't just during the pregnancy, the worst of it is in the following 2 years and I might be just now calming down little by little .. I still have fight or flight responses and get extremely over stimulated, I got into a hour long argument of just wanting to make a grocery list . My son's throwing a tantrum because I didn't give him a drink when he demanded it , my husband is sitting in the walk way of our cluttered , small bedroom watching TV, theirs noice on the TV, I can't open my closet door , I've been trying to clean my closet and down size for over a month , it's a walk in closet , theirs no space to walk in . I just wanted to grab some socks . I'm tripping on my son's toys and my husband's skate board .. I can't focus on making the list because of the noise! And making sure I'm not double buying .. I threw the list in the trash , my husband threw a fit and said oh your son just wants to spend time with you -.- told him , like I said wasn't a issue - could've fooled me .. my whole day I was angry - my husband got to watch TV - I could not even go grocery shopping I was livid and waited until my son was asleep I had an hour until it closed still double bot , I didn't make that list . We have these arguments everytime he throws a tantrum I say what's bothering me and I get my husband jumping to conclusions .. hes the one that causes them
As a 40 year old man, I’m childfree by choice for a lengthy laundry list of reasons. Children are expensive, parenthood is a lot of responsibility and it’s immoral, unethical and thoughtless to bring a child into existence….The list goes on and on.
I agree buts as a woman I don’t get the grace you get for being childless 😂
It's just not my cup of tea
I enjoy my silence, alone time, SLEEP, money, and hobbies.
Same lol I'm my only responsibility
Yep 😊😊😊😊😊
My old best friend started having kids at 19. She mocked my single life as if traveling and acting my age was a total embarrassment. I noticed she only ever encouraged me to have kids when she was stressed and feeling trapped. When she turned 30 she told me she loved her kids but wished she waited until she was much older. Don’t let anyone sell you on the dream of parenthood because most of the time, it’s a misery loves company situation. If it’s not deeply in your spirit after much therapy and family planning, do not do it.
I highly recommend that all teenage girls do a LOT of babysitting, and for neighbors you hardly know, not just family members. It will teach you so much about if you want that life full time for yourself. The summer of my 16th year I babysat for FOUR boys every working day of the summer for a working “single mother” (her husband was in a mental institution). The boys were 10 months old, a two year old, a four yo, and a six year old. All day, every day, for the entire summer, at 16! I knew by the end of that summer I never wanted kids, not even one. Cured for life. Our church conned me into doing the job, probably thinking it would make me want to be a mother, whereas, the joke was on them!
Ha! Jokes on them! Hate that kind of behavior
Your church???😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
The feelings your have toward your child has nothing in common with what you feel toward some stranger kids when you’re 16. Zero connection. I’ve never particularly liked any random babies or children. Once you have your own, it changes everything. And the thing is, you will never experience it unless you do it. That is all.
I was the eldest sibling to four younger kids and had to do that multiple summers in a row as a teen. Also cured me for life.
The first girl crying 😢😢😢 it is really hard raising children. I’m a married woman with two kids and I still cry because of not being able to do certain things. That’s just one of the many reason mothers cry.
Team #Childfree. I ain’t got the time nor the patience.
At all
One and done , I use to have time and patience until I had a child , those went out the window , I'm sticking with the I regret being a mom but I'm not bringing another one in so my child can have a sibling camp
The obsession with our decision is hysterical. Like miss ma'am, if you're happy let it go. Let it go. I didn't ask to be here, lm going to do the best I can to survive it. I am kind to children, helpful to others but even if I wasn't, my life is not owed to you all. Why is that so hard to understand
I've noticed that parenthood is hardest on those who have the least resources (money, family help etc). Both parents working full time is so stressful. And don't forget some need IVF (which isn't cheap)
How do so many women fall for the Cinderella narrative of motherhood? Don't they observe the daily lives of their friends & relatives who have kids? I think that once they obs3rve what's going on, no amount of words should sway them.
GOOD QUESTION!
One and done. I’ve had more than my handful of lonely tough times. These men will leave or decide when they want to be a parent or partner.
Good for you! Being a parent is not for everyone and that’s ok, leave these women alone.
Its a choice you make for yourself and its a responsibility for life.
I would be too protective and would worry about them constantly
In certain regions areas of the USA, getting pregnant could be life threatening. If the fetus is unviable (e.g. ectopic pregnancy), you can't get emergency care because MDs are afraid of prosecution. So you're literally taking your life in your hands to carry a child to term. I love that Gen Z is saying eff this. When birth rates are down all over the world, maybe women will finally get some respect. (but I doubt it, women will just be forced to bear children)
I was shocked that the Surgeon General's warning didnt make more of a stink online. It was clearly validating about how stressful it is from apublic health perspective and for some reason it didnt get much notice online, on social media, and barely in the medis.
I have 4 children , a 48 year marriage, 16 grandchildren and 13 great grandchildren . Love them all and have no words to describe the joy they have brought me . However i find it absolutely shocking that anyone would tell someone else that they should or shouldnt have children ! Its no one elses business if people dont or do want to have children . Good grief .
Getting pregnant 3 times by accident?
No comment.
Why be so hard on her? You don't know the circumstances. It must make you feel superior to hate on women like that.
Getting pregnant by accident three times is better than getting pregnant and using abortion as birth control over and over again. Atleast she took responsibility each time.
Me neither, decided to be childfree, back in the mid 70s. Was still in high school at the time.
5:25 she is covering the baby's ears 😂
As a woman without children... the first lady is odd. Shes crying because they called her to get her kid from the gym daycare? Is this like the straw that broke the camels' back thing? Is she just emotionally immature? The other lady said she got pregnant 1, 2 , 3 times by mistake? Does she have a thinking problem? After the first "mistake," she didn't change her actions? I knew I didn't want to have kids in my 20s, but now, in my 30s, im emotionally mature to understand if i did have a child 1 is enough. I totally understand those who do not want kids, but half the people who had kods weren't ready emotional or financially at all.
Yeah I also cannot fathom how tf someone "accidentally" has 3 kids
@@nataki8776 😅🤣
She was just expressing how much her life has changed and she can't have even the smallest amount of time to herself. It's frustrating and she us just venting
@@nataki8776when you're around a man, they somehow make it happen
Your views are spot on common sense but in this society common sense is controversial.
These silly women allow deadbeat bums access to their wombs then whine and cry that they're a single mom with no help.
"I was tricked! He baby trapped me!!"
"I can't afford childcare! The government needs to step in and help me!!"
"I can't afford to feed my kids but got pregnant again..."
🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
There's no reasoning with unreasonable people.
#Childfree4Life 😎😎😎
The problem is not parenting- the problem is two adults both working full time and trying to raise a family at the same time.
That’s just not possible.
Unless you have a lot of money to pay for help, or have grandparents/friends/ relatives who are able and willing to help, it’s too much.
I don’t have kids- never a specific choice- just never in a place where it was possible. I don’t regret not having them.
But this societal ideal of two parents having successful careers, a perfect home, perfect bodies, and perfect kids is just a toxic fantasy.
Couldn't agree more!
It's not just that though. It's also about men's character. Years down the line or just after birth, they suddenly change up. You either end up a single mom (whether with or without them) or like chris watts' wife, lol.
Except… that isn’t true. The vast majority of divorces are initiated by women, not men.
And you could say “oh well, yes, but the women are driven to it by the awful behaviour of their husbands”- which I think IS true- but it’s far more about wives not getting anything emotionally from their husbands far more than it’s about violence or infidelity. (And when talking about male infidelity- who are they being unfaithful with? Mostly it’s MARRIED women….)
So- why are men and women on such different pages about relationships? Not just “romantic” - ALL relationships- work, neighbours, relatives, kids, friends- all of it?
Yes- there is a biological element but mostly it’s because we socialise boys and girls differently.
Girls must be nice and sweet, boys must be strong and brave. Nobody must show who they really are.
How is that a recipe for anything but confusion, frustration and misery all round?
They said was profiling and how wonderful it was - and family will always be there for you , I wanted a daughter to give her what I never had , I had a son - I love my son however the family that never abandons you - abandoned me - they didn't respect me and treat me like a child myself but add gaslighting , threatening and manipulating me during the hardest time of my life when I needed love and support.. my husbands family came through to prevent us from being In the streets after my mother threatened cps on me , I am no contact and miss my family and the abuse - I can't explain why it's just undergoing Narssistic abuse for so long makes you so use to it , you will miss it- and my mother has been on a smear campaign so the family I was neutral with thinks I'm an abusive mother. I guess I should be thankfull that putting my son over my feelings for my family. Though there alive I'm grieving - atleast if they'd die I'd have closure , I also have to be the one to stop the cycle of abuse .. no one tells you that your unresolved trauma comes back and added trauma of giving birth along with postpartum depression/ minor sphycosis from not sleeping- small hallucinations ( normal ) , anxiety and hormones - dude the consequences of those were bad - I was ready to fight anyone and everyone that even looked at me the wrong way or slightly made my day inconvenient .. and it wasn't just during the pregnancy, the worst of it is in the following 2 years and I might be just now calming down little by little .. I still have fight or flight responses and get extremely over stimulated, I got into a hour long argument of just wanting to make a grocery list . My son's throwing a tantrum because I didn't give him a drink when he demanded it , my husband is sitting in the walk way of our cluttered , small bedroom watching TV, theirs noice on the TV, I can't open my closet door , I've been trying to clean my closet and down size for over a month , it's a walk in closet , theirs no space to walk in . I just wanted to grab some socks . I'm tripping on my son's toys and my husband's skate board .. I can't focus on making the list because of the noise! And making sure I'm not double buying .. I threw the list in the trash , my husband threw a fit and said oh your son just wants to spend time with you -.- told him , like I said wasn't a issue - could've fooled me .. my whole day I was angry - my husband got to watch TV - I could not even go grocery shopping I was livid and waited until my son was asleep I had an hour until it closed still double bot , I didn't make that list . We have these arguments everytime he throws a tantrum I say what's bothering me and I get my husband jumping to conclusions .. hes the one that causes them
sad..
Will you survive?