You're Not Autistic! Top Reasons Why People Reject an Autism Diagnosis
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 ก.ค. 2024
- Hi! I'm Orion Kelly and I'm Autistic. On this video I debunk the most common reasons people use to reject my #autism diagnosis. Plus, I share my personal lived experiences as an #actuallyautistic person. #orionkelly #autisticadult #whatautismfeelslike #autismdiagnosis #asd
⏱ Index:
00:00 - Autism deniers
02:40 - You're not Autistic
03:31 - Specialist skills
07:30 - Communication & performance skills
11:36 - Creativity
15:37 - Empathy & emotions
18:06 - Protective of others
🙏 Thanks so much for watching, rating, commenting, sharing and subscribing, I really appreciate it! You're helping me raise the level of understanding and acceptance of the Autistic community. You can show your support for my channel by doing any of these things:
1️⃣ SUBSCRIBE to my channel.
2️⃣ LIKE / COMMENT / SHARE my videos.
3️⃣ SEND me a Super Thanks
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
🔵 CHANNEL LINKS 🔵
More Videos: / @orionkelly
My PODCAST Channel: / @orionkellypodcasts
🔵 CONNECT 🔵
Facebook: / orionkellyinc
Twitter: / orionkelly
Instagram: / orionkelly_australia
TikTok: @orionkelly_australia
Website: orionkelly.com.au
🎧 My Friend Autism' PODCAST 🎧
Apple: podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast...
Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/6d6UVtN...
Stitcher: www.stitcher.com/podcast/orio...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ABOUT ORION:
Orion Kelly is an #ActuallyAutistic vlogger (TH-camr), podcaster, radio host, actor, keynote speaker and Autistic advocate based in Australia. Orion is all about helping you increase your understanding, acceptance and appreciation of Autistic people.
#AutisticVoices #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Autism #OrionKelly #ThatAutisticGuy #ASD
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
⛔️*Disclaimer: The videos contained on this channel are for general education and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute professional advice. For professional advice and training seek assistance from a qualified provider. All views are my own and do not represent those of my employers or sponsors. Some images used are stock images.*⛔️
Related: autism, autism diagnosis, Orion Kelly, orionkelly, thatautisticguy, tiktok videos, autistic, autism in adults, autism in women, autism in men, autism spectrum condition, asd, autism spectrum disorder, aspergers, aspergers syndrome, autism in boys, autism in girls, dsm, dsm5, autistic adults, autistic kids, autism mom, autism parent, autism family, autism speaks, autism awareness, autism acceptance, autism at work, am I autistic, adult autism test, autism disclosure, autism therapy, autism prevention, autism meltdown, autistic burnout, autistic behavior, autism symptoms, autism traits, autistic signs, what autism feels like, love on the spectrum, stimming, echolalia, anxiety
My therapist when I was 15 wouldn't even consider that I was autistic because apparently I made eye contact with her. This was 5 minutes after she yelled at me for not looking at her while she was talking to me 🤷
Go figure! She shouldn't yell at you anyway for not looking at her. Inappropriate as heck. Jenny
I dont find it hard to make eye contact, but when I speak I find it hard to focus if I try to keep eye contact
@@rdb223 thats exactly me
I hope you fired that therapist.
Therapists get mad and annoyed at you even if they know you are autistic.
People (even therapists) told me, that I can not be autistic because I'm able to look at people and because I do have feelings and because I don't have meltdowns in front of them. They can not see me thinking "should I look at them now or not? Do I stare right now? Maybe I should look away for a while or look at them for a while" and they can't see me getting back at home and needing hours or even days to rest because simple things like social interaction is so exhausting.
I can 100% relate to your inner dialogue! It’s get very hard to concentrate on what they’re saying when you’re constantly thinking about whether you’ve made the right amount of eye contact.
The other thing that always makes conversations hard is the inner dialogue about whether I have been talking too much. I will be yapping away about something then realize that I’ve been yammering on, then I will make an awkward transition to talking about the other person. I have no idea how to work it into the conversation, but I know that I’ve just spent way too long talking, so I ask them about themselves, even it isn’t related in any way to what I was saying.
“… so the ram speed is really throttled by the bus speed. What have you been up to?” 😂
This exactly!
I built up a good vocabulary, reading a lot. So people tend to overestimate how easy it is for me to communicate. Truth is, I often struggle with what the right word is to use in a particular situation, taking too long to decide what to say, or how to say it. And once in a while my mouth-brain connection totally takes a left turn on me when something other than what I meant to say comes out of my mouth! So, yeah. Even the best of us have struggles others can't/won't understand.
I relate a lot to this video! I have a PhD and an IQ of 136, yet when I have to order a meal at a take away counter and they ask which options I want and I don't have time to study what they actually have, I am close to a shutdown. I sometimes don't even understand what they verbally offer me and just say yes, risking that I will get something I don't even like. I can process complex information easily but when I my brain gets too much stimuli or is surprised by something I can bearly cope.
It's odd isn't it. I also see this in university professors that are very intelligent yet have trouble going to the next slide in their powerpoint presentation. It's really specific.
Similar ... mid 130s IQ... can't deal with people. I'm just the person who hides away in a room and spews out code, and they don't know how I do it, but I get the work done.
Fast-food drivethroughs are really intended for people who are already so familiar with their menu that they already know what they want. I have avoided trying many such restaurants simply because their menu is either incomplete, poorly presented, confusing, or has far too many choices. The lowpaid employees do not understand how making these choices can take time because they work there all day. I do not view my frequent irritation with fast-food places to be an autistic trait.
my husband and I went to our usual grocery store yesterday but he had the shopping list and shopping cart this time so I waited for him to lead the way, only for him to stop as soon as we set foot inside the store waiting on me. Later he followed me with the cart as I went to put an item back, refusing to stand in line alone.
Your experience of ordering meals reminded me of my husband
Moi aussi.
People I chat with be like "You can't be autistic, you express yourself so well! You have a wide vocabulary! You explain things so well!" Yeah they've never met me in person, we only talked online 😅
They are not taking into account processing issues (where responding in your own time at your own pace with the opportunity to rewrite as much as you need) can mean you can perform to a much higher standard in writing and/or online than if required to respond verbally in person, in real time in what could be a challenging environment.
Yes😂
@@camellia8625 Exactly! Also, in 'live' talks, I'm always very selfconscious and that distracts me so much that I can't focus on the subject anymore.
This made me snort with laughter in recognition. They've never seen behind the scenes before and after.
Facts lol
I am autistic, and I'm very good at getting up in front of people and giving a speech (that I've prepared in advance) but I can't participate in the conversation at a family dinner.
I can relate, to this topic.My family would correct me by saying" get to the point,"or were inpatient to wait for me to find the right words. Or maybe, I didn't want to react, but to respond!
For me, it's worse with family than with the rest of people. Maybe it has to do with how my relatives were when I was young: loud, didn't respect my personal space, always arguing, touching me all the time...
@@rominac1389 I grew up with loud relatives too. They were more on the conversation-dominating end of the spectrum while I was the type with selective mutism. It has a way of making one feel overlooked and unheard.
I was just at my sisters for Easter while I was able to talk to one person as soon as other people came over I couldn't get a word in and they kind of shrugged their shoulders at what I was saying so I got on my tablet and stopped talking. I only interacted with my kids.
@@amaiyagrace sounds familiar 😊
My wife and I had been pushing to have our eldest son checked out by I psychiatrist for years because we both knew something was up from a very young age (baby). Because my son is very smart, highly functional and successful in school (even exceptional in many ways), displays many of the normal emotions, it took a long time for him to finally get seen by a professional - he just wasn't a high priority in our free government run health care system.
Most people just believed that he was a kid with discipline / behavioural issues and we would constantly be getting called by schools/teachers, day cares, etc. to talk about our son's unacceptable behaviours. It didn't take very long for the psychiatrist to diagnose our son as autistic at age 11.
Unless you're confronted by some of my son's strange behaviours or emotional outbursts (for what is seemingly trivial reasons) most people would never be able to tell that he is autistic. Public conceptions of autism have done a great disservice to highly functional autistic individuals.
Love your 'something was up' thinking as opposed to something is wrong/broke and must fix.
I have a phobia for receiving and making phone calls.
I'm known for giving scam callers a blast. It's bad enough that someone interrupts what I was doing with their phone call, but when it's a scammer, that really makes my blood boil! I also hate picking up the phone and calling people. I find it much easier to send an email because I can reword things and make them "just right" before I send it.
Someone said to me: "you can't be autistic, because autism is a hype these days. Everybody suddenly becomes autistic!".
Also I used to be a driving-instructor and each night I would be worn out, even after only a few students. I hated it when students called me. Only now I realize that I have been an actor for all those years, playing a driving-instructor. Everybody thought I was totally relaxed, speaking calmly and smiling a lot.
@Daathiel
When awareness of a condition increases, it tends to be in the forefront of ppl's minds so they pay more attention to symptoms & combos of symptoms that may be indicative of that condition.
And then there's the theory that neurotypicals are the disordered ones. That's certainly how it feels for at least some of us.
You are creative, funny... and autistic. And all three things are great! A family member of mine refuses to believe I'm autistic because I was diagnosed at age 58, which means, for 58 years she has witnessed my meltdowns and assumed I was a drama queen having tantrums. If she now had to accept my autism, she'd have to reframe how she has viewed me for 58 years. That's too much work, I suppose. It makes me sad. (And by the way, I call out bullies all the time, too. And I assume the best of everyone, and it constantly bites me in the behind.)
oh your words here resonated so hard. People around me refuse to believe my official diagnosis of ADHD and self diagnosis of autism because it's too hard for them to reframe my struggles away from "she is a drama queen, just needs to try harder, etc" into "unsupported neurodiverse woman trying her best and sometimes failing". I'm in my 50s too and knowing I have ADHD and likely autism has helped to remove so much anxiety and depression through accepting myself and dismissing my self hatred
@@hugglesnz as we learn, more and more, that we're not alone in this, it will give us strength and confidence. Right now I'm working on maximizing my strengths and also accepting my limitations. And that's a strength, too. Having a monumental insight hit you in your 50s after living a lifetime of confusion is a lot. But so far I'm finding it's worth it, and I hope you are too!
I absolutely am, I feel like I'm REALLY understanding the true me now the blinkers are off@@barbaraabelhauser1896
It's like when I told my birth mom I take an anti-depressant. She goes, "What are you depressed about?".. aarrgghhh!
About empathy: not being able to identify what you're feeling is called alexithymia. And to further elucidate how much of a myth this is: Only about 50% of autistics have alexithymia. The other half, like me, don't. And alexithymia also gets a bad rap because of a lack of understanding of the different types of empathy. It's become clear to me watching your video that Alexithymia is a spectrum on its own. You struggle identifying your own emotions but not others. Whereas other Alexithymics struggle with both. And where the problem lies in the stereotype with this is that it it percieved that there is a lack of empathy or emotion and doesn't consider what's going on inside. the problem here is cognitive empathy. Not emotional or compassionate empathy. For many who deal with both, they may not be able to cognitively identify what others are feeling, but once they know or are made aware, emotional and/or compassionate empathy are activated. And there's also another problem with the stereotype, and that is flat affect and/or not showing emotions in the typical expected way. Whether alexithymic or not, those with flat affect appear on the outside to not be emoting. But that doesn't mean they're not feeling it internally. For some, the more intense the emotion, especially negative emotions, the flatter the affect because the more overwhelming it is, the harder it is to cope, therefore whatever level of ability they have to outwardly display what they're feeling gets shut down because the brain is directing all its resources to internal emotional survival.
I've never felt like I had a problem with telling how other people are feeling or how I'm feeling (although I do tend to have difficulty verbally expressing my own emotional state), but I'd never heard of "flat affect" before reading your comment and that definitely struck me as an issue I struggle with. I just recently got a new job and my new boss remarked that I have "no expression, like none at all".
:/
Such a great explanation. It resonates strongly.
Such a great explanation. It resonates strongly.
Brilliant explanation Leslie.
Yes I was fascinated to learn about those 3 different types of empathy and realized that I do struggle with the cognitive empathy but not with the affective empathy (feeling what other people are feeling) it's so intense for me when other people r angry or sad or stressed even if I don't even know them, even on tv or whatever, reading about something in the paper.
I just got my diagnosis this week and these were the exact same assessments that were used as 'proof' that I'm not autistic. Nevermind that I have trouble regulating my emotions, have problems in a crowded room or driving at night because of sensory overload or being too brutally honest for my own good. I'm expressive, imaginative, sarcastic and use hand gestures during conversations so I'm fine. Off I go now.
What do you mean by sensory overload ? I have always struggled in life, I can’t go out and be around people or make new friends but I can work nights because I know there won’t many people around it’s easier for me . I don’t like loud noises, traffic and I use sarcasm as a way to get through. I struggle to understand what’s going on like i want to go back to study but I don’t understand information and I can’t take it in revise it I forget or just don’t understand so how could I have autism like my brothers when im dumb I thought autistic people are smart .. someone explain to me
That is funny. I thought autistic people were retarded. Until I got my own diagnosis in my late 50's.
@@jennajenson6909 Autistic people can be smart, or dumb, or anything in between. Some of us have a lot of struggles with sensory issues, others not so much. We are all just people that don't quite fit in with normal people we know. Even those of us that are a little smarter.
Yep-I’ve been told these things too, but the reality is, I am autistic. I have a job (which I perform extremely well in), I live on my own, but I sometimes struggle socially, I display respective behaviors, I stim, the thing is I makes so most people don’t see it. It is on full display when I work from home. Even my best friend who is also autistic didn’t believe me at first until I started sharing my experiences in special ed, speech, etc. Her autism is more obvious but mine can easily fly under the radar. Thankfully my parents accept and support me even if they don’t always understand me-my mom has come around and accepted it and I’m starting to suspect she might be autistic too.
When I've broached the topic that I might be autistic with friends and family, I've been given the same reasons why I can't be autistic as you, especially the "empathy" one, so I back down about this. I'm also a creative artist, and although an introvert who was diagnosed ADHD/inattentive in my 40s (I'm now 68), somehow ADHD is easier for others to accept than autism. Interestingly, both autistics and ADDrs have meltdowns, wear masks, and stem, which may be because both disorders overlap and fall under the neurodiversity umbrella. I'm still trying to wrap my head around this . Your blog is certainly enlightening. Thanks Orion. Jenny
Hyperempathy is also an autistic trait. Not every autistic person has it, though.
@@rominac1389 Yes, as an animal activist I cannot stand injustice. So people think I am very empathetic = not autistic.
Seems like there is a lot of overlap in multiple neurodivergent categories
The adhd people who have meltdowns could be undiagnosed autistic - they might not only have adhd. I suspect that is the case. I am thinking of a person I know, as an example.
I've had people think that I'm too social to be autistic. They think all autistic people are introverted, awkward or shy. But as you probably know, that's not what autism is. There is a strong correlation between introversion and autism but there are exceptions.
I'm probably an ambivert myself.
I am extremely introverted, awkward, and shy and not social at all... I fit all the criteria for autism stereotypically, but because I'm a woman I was overlooked until this year when I was finally diagnosed with it.
I'm introverted was diagnosed 2 years ago
Zoom calls freak me out a lot. Never experienced them until the Pandemic started, then suddenly if you're working they become a normal part of your day, or for other reasons such as telehealth. It feels a bit like looking people in the eye, even though its just a webcam. I feel like I'm in the spotlight, which I hate, it's an enforced group activity. More social expectations, look happy, smile, sound happy, all of which I suck at. I get incredibly anxious beforehand, and during, really on the edge of panic, in a place that I normally feel calm and relaxed, my home. I expect people to think and act like I do. I don't bully people, I don't manipulate people, I don't lie to people, so why would other people do that to me? Trouble starts when I start saying no to people who are used to manipulating me. I can be very easy going, and accommodating, willing to help people, but the second I realise that I'm being used I can turn it off like a switch. I don't forgive and forget either, if you treat me like shit I'll never help you.
The ONLY situation I will do a video call of any kind is if it's legally necessary, like jury duty.
I'm glad I didn't have a job or school that needed zoom calls. I would have quit them.
The whole idea of video calls freaks me out. I can't talk to people with faces presented like that. I refuse. I don't care what their health excuse sare. I hate it and I will not be coerced into adopting a technology I do not like.
I relate to this
I can totally relate with this video. The part where you talk about trying to describe your own emotions to other people was absolutely spot on. "I don't know" is my absolute default sentence in this scenario.
Some things I've had people say to Me include: "how can you drive a car if you're autistic?" "you don't look/sound autistic." "are autistic people allowed to work?" "are autistic people allowed to have children?" as a personal side note, I am often walking around with untied shoes from tying them incorrectly so many times throughout the day.
Being autistic is not merely about how we behave (which we definitely work on as much as we can) it is how we feel and where we get stuck. And there's just NO way anyone can get a peek into that.
Like one close friend saying it's something of the past, and I shouldn't be so attached on labels. That speaks volumes. I don't even imagine any neuro psychiatric super specialist could even imagine what shutting down remotely feels like.
Unless that specialist is on the spectrum themself. And it would be rare for someone to overcome all the challenges to complete a course of study and become a specialist.
the section on communication and performance, this was one of the toughest things when it came to my husband. It really wasn't until we married and moved in together, when I was there "behind the scenes" with him, I really started differentiating between him being *able* to do something and performing in the moment and *performing* in the moment. I would become frustrated when I had seen him perform with others, yet suddenly dead in the water when it came to me. And it wasn't until I really saw what goes on for him in the background and him shedding that light on it for me, that we've been able to work together and approach him in a better way
I wish I'd known this about all this 14 years ago, when I was in a relationship with an autistic man. I had a rather ill-informed and outdated idea of what autism was, and was often confused as to which behaviours were part of his personality or influenced by the autism (Of course, the irony is I'm now watching all these videos on TH-cam about neurodivergence in order to understand my OWN behaviours). I don't think we were really a great match to begin with, but I regret that I wasn't always as patient or compassionate as I should've been with certain things he said or did which drove me up the wall (probably unintentionally on his part). I felt quite bitter about how he seemed to treat everyone else with respect and politeness, yet in private seemed very dismissive and critical of me. I didn't realise that the fact he felt he could speak a bit more freely in front of me was a sign he trusted me enough to unmask, but of course I could only judge him by neurotypical standards, which I'd been fed by the media and society... .
@@That_Awkward_Mumsame here.
I used to have that default of thinking people generally had good intentions, but after having so many people take advantage of kindness and so many horrible experiences with people, I have begin to lean the other way, where I just sort of expect the worst and assume that people are going to screw me over. It would be nice to be capable of finding a middle ground and actually be able to work out people's intentions.
I was diagnosed when I was 35, in 1999. My special interest is language (especially English), but that includes understanding tone of voice, facial cues, metaphors, irony. I'm hypersensitive to vocal patterns. (Yours, by the way, is quite pleasing.) I listen to public radio every day, and I'm appalled that so many professional announcers and spokespersons are unaware of how repetitious their speech patterns are. How many times they say "sort of" and "kind of." Even if I want to hear what they're saying, I'll find something else, or turn it off. Misophonia, man.
Sometimes I'll realize I've used an arrogant tone of voice, or was too blunt, or dismissive. I have to step outside myself and observe as I would someone else. When I manage to use the "perfect" tone of voice, it feels like an accomplishment.
what do you like most about language and have you found any patterns in it?
@@morganpauls1873 My focus is on English etymology. A basic vocabulary of Latin (French), Greek, and German reveals the meaning of most English words. I'll come across a word I haven't seen before, and I can usually figure out what it means.
More broadly, I like to see how other languages organize ideas. Take a look at Euskara (Basque). It's, um... different.
And I like writing systems. I have my own shorthand that combines multiple letters into single characters, while preserving spelling.
I made a conlang that swaps Germanic words for Latin or Greek, and the other way around. For instance, "man" would be "hom." "Egg" would be "ov." "Dog" would be "can."
@@adamlaceky8127 have you seen any patterns in how they organize their ideas?
is it akin the numbers where context is attached to a statement and then statements aggregated?
what was your approach toward the articulation of your con language?
@@morganpauls1873 I'm not a linguist. The S-V-O grammatical structure is common. Chinese and English have a lot in common, grammatically.
I recently learned that English is one of three or four languages that use the construct of, for instance, "DO you want a drink?" Most other languages put the verb first, so "Want you a drink?" "DO you have a phone?" is more commonly "Have you a phone?" in other languages.
@@adamlaceky8127 sorry it wasnt a question particular to your domain of experience
but thank you for entertaining my curiosity its greatly appreciated
I was only diagnosed a couple of months ago at the age of 48 and then have spent most of the time since in lockdown so don't have too many stories yet. I have had someone ask about it because I'm empathetic, the other one that I had to explain is that you can be sensory seeking not just sensory avoidant. That came about because I love hugs and they help me to regulate. Fortunately those were people who were just wanting to understand better rather than saying that I can't be because of.
I was diagnosed late this summer. I have a B.S. in information systems and an IQ of 127. And I’ve had people say either I’d never know you were autistic, or isn’t everyone a little autistic. I personally can be in a position of leadership such as a teacher, presenter or performer (aren’t most of us Oscar worthy performers by masking?) If it’s something I know, it’s okay. But when it’s socializing or mingling, I clam up and get anxious. I don’t know how to connect with people in that capacity. I dread the office Christmas party and avoid going.
yes, the clearer the structure of the group, the easier it is. If there is little or no structure, like a Christmas party, especially one that includes people you don't know, then it's a big challenge.
Conversation is too much work. I finally learned to ask questions. Where are you from? etc. But after running through obvious q's, what's left?
Orion: concerning shoes. I struggled with them also: one thing I discovered is that knots have a strong and weak form; when making the loops, working counter-clockwise produces the stronger variant it also makes them lie perpendicular to where your foot is pointing. . But then again I still double-knot my laces: one because I have small feet and laces are typically too long, and two sometimes I step on my laces. (Feel free to disregard this message).
Was about to comment about this too 😅
Also having the loops inverted from the initial knot under it (first knot right lace goes up and left one goes down, and then right loop goes down and left loop goes up) creates friction and makes it so knots are very very hard to undo. People use that trick for corsets to avoid too much slipping and to have a nice secure knot.
Wanted to comment about this as well, 1 year too late!
When I have a good knot with the good length so that I don’t step on them I just tighten the knot so that I’ll never have to open them again.
I also found those stretch laces, they are very practical on sneakers. They have sth like a hook on the ends and keep everything together so that you just have to slip in and out.
Got diagnosed last year (in my late thirties) and I still haven't told the majority of my family about it, mostly because I don't want to have to justify my own existence and life experiences to them. I get too stressed out going through the laundry list of difficulties I have navigating the world. Even my mom brought up some of the arguments you listed in this video, and she's the most accepting person I know. Perhaps someday I'll make that leap, will definitely be showing them your videos when I do! Thank you for making these videos and hope to see more in the future!
Phone anxiety sucks. I have a very difficult time making phone calls unless I know exactly who is going to answer. I also don't answer if I don't know who is calling me. I'll answer for family and friends and I might call them if I really need to, but I prefer face-to-face interactions or text messages. My mom frequently acts as my spokesperson when dealing with the doctor's office or social services and the like.
I have a sense of humor. It just doesn't seem to line up with 99% of the populations sense of humor. I can hear a joke, know that it is a joke, even know why it is supposed to be funny, but it doesn't strike me as funny. I will find something funny, laugh, have someone ask me why I laughed, and if I try to explain, they don't find it funny. I have had people say that I don't like to laugh, because I do it so rarely around other people.
I struggled with this for so long, I’ve always been extremely empathetic and emotionally intelligent. I believed the myths around autistic people not being capable of this because I had not met many autistic people or educated professionals , so I thought I couldn’t possibly have it.
I didn’t understand why I was capable of some things at an above average level but then simple things that came to everyone else so easily I couldn’t manage or i found them extremely difficult. I had no idea it was connect to autism , that what I was describing was literally a common symptom of autism
Your comment resonates. I have had inklings for a long time that I might be autistic, and I am considering pursuing diagnosis. At 43.
Love your handle BTW!
People always think I'm so calm, but not so much on the inside! 😅
About tying shoe laces: get some no-tie "laces." There's stretchy silicone type straps that you put on the shoe and then never have to adjust and basically make your shoe a slip-on(they only work with punched eyelets(hole in the shoe structure)), and there's a bungie cord type lace that look similar to regular laces but instead of tying, you cinch it up at the end with the little plastic locking mechanism.(these work with both punched eyelets and webbing eyelets(the folded fabric kind)).
Hi Leslie. I have also mentioned those shoe laces to Orion even though I haven't tried them myself yet because they don't seem stretchy enough for me, but the other ones you mentioned could be. On my difficult, wobbly days I mainly use velcros, and on my better days slip-ons with stretchy sides. If for some reason I have to or want to wear the ones with laces, I use a double knot and stick the ends of the laces on sides of the shoes.
I found winter boots without laces. TY for suggestions to hunt some style i can operate.
Every single one of these points hit home for me. Thank you for the validation, it's a relief. Stage performance has been a strength of mine... but only really after I figured out developing a "stage personna." From there, anything else I have done had to be done AS MY STAGE CHARACTER or I flop. I've been dismissed on account that I "talk too much" or that I perform in a gothic cabaret, etc. Nobody listens when I try to explain why... and worse, they accuse me of being dramatic or trying to get attention when I am forced into regular social situations and can't cope or keep up. I get confused, anxious, frightened. I freeze, I fawn, I run & hide, I burst into tears. My stage character has scripts and artistic flamboyance that is carefully crafted to entertain, mesmerize, and even charm... specifically to escape the pressure of the unpredictable back & forth stuff.
Hi from Denmark in Europe
No books or articles I have ever read (and that is a lot😂) has ever taught me as much about autism as watching many of your utube videos. You are totally amazing at explaining autism through your own perspective. 2 of my children have resently been diagnosed with Asperger autism, at the age of 15 and 17 years, after a childhood being so misunderstood by both school, friends and family, because they are clever and at some point able to adjust in social interactions. But it always comes with a High Price of stress, because they mask a whole lot and struggle to do so.
This video is a year Old by now, so don’t know if you read this message. But if you do:
THANK YOU SO MUCH! For helping me understand both my children’s struggle better, and for letting me realize I’m most likely On the autistic spectrum myself. I Can relate to so many things you discuss in your videos.
It’s amazing that you use your skills and special interests to explain autism the Way it is in real life for many autistic people, diagnosed or not. There are so many myths about autism, even among psychiatrists here in Denmark. “If you don’t act like Dustin Hofman in the movie Rainman, then you can’t be autistic”. And that could not be more wrong. Once again thank you for your dedication On the projekt of sharing what autism really is.
Best regards,
Lise
100% relatable. I learned to speak from the radio & TV, so it was only natural that I would end up working in Radio & TV. It was quite shocking when I unmasked, to hear what my 'natural' voice sounded like.
Orion: You are creative and FUNNY!!!!! There, I said it 😁 And it's absolutely true. ❤ And alexithymia - can very much identify with that. Also the protectiveness towards others. Totally identify with that too.
😆 thanks for doing that.
Just stumbled across your channel, your experience is the first male autistic story that I deeply relate to, also have always been a creative and performative person. One of the reasons I didn't realize I was autistic until last year at 30 years old.
Thanks for watching! I’m grateful you’ve found content you can relate to.
I have flown under the radar for 58 years....a Burn out has revealed to me that in fact I am autistic and am awaiting a diagnosis in Australia.this is really helpful because not only have I had to deal with not being believed as a kid I will deal with it all over again when I tell others I am autistic....but your funny and sensitive and In rocking in a corner ..funny I have a rocking chair in the corner though lol
I relate with you alot.
But how does having a label... and so late in life. How would that help? Sure u can read up on it I guess but you get what I'm saying?
@@intheredcold9216 I am so thankful to know why I find life harder than others in every way , my anxiety has relaxed that is huge I know myself now I found my tribe I understand myself now it has been an amazing revelation for ME
I haven't finished the video yet, but I was diagnosed when I was 13-14, I'm now 27. And while it's good to know I'm different from most other people for me the biggest struggle is people not taking what I say and experience seriously. Like because I've had no relationships, friends or more, in the past 10 years I've become social anxiety nuke, so it's very obvious that I'm autistic.
However I for example eat my dinner all separately, for example first meat on my plate, than potatoes and after that vegetables, but NEVER all on my plate at the same time. I know it's ridiculous for someone on the outside, but my brain just shorts when it does happen. Or how many times I've told someone that busy areas are basically off limits for me as i get way too much stimuli and their response is: you should just do it more often you'll get used to it.
But most recently I've been really struggling and I can't hide my emotions, it's always on top you'll know I'm happy or angry or whatever. And what happened is a few colleagues noticed and told me it's not okay. I can be in a bad place, but I can't deal with it in my own way. Bear in mind I did my job as good as always, i just didn't talk with anyone and didn't take smile all the time.
And while I'm slowly learning to accept who i am these moments make me feel broken. Why can't I just be "normal"? Oh well, who knows maybe one day someone comes along who understands/accepts and appreciates the way I am and is willing to put the effort in a relationship. Maybe it's bad luck, but so far all my NT friends, even those I've had for years, put in very little effort. Like when we'd do something together I was always the initiator. Is that normal? Like for me I'd much rather have 1 or 2 meaningful relationships than a 1000 shallow ones, but for a lot of others it seems to be the other way round. And as a side effect it makes me feel like I'm not worth spending time on and they only do it out of petty or something. Ugh life's hard man...
This comment has become waaay too long 😅
It is long indeed, but very helpful.
I tried wearing headphones, but...got hit by a bus. It was obviously the driver's fault, the police was on my side, but Polish courts suck.
I'm not an engineer, but I'm working on a device that could hopefully help at least some Aspies one day...
I've always been the one organising entertainment for others but usually come across as bossy and pretty boring...
@@madebymillie5181 ooh that sounds cool, but also quite unfortunate you got into an accident. Hope you're doing okay now though!
@@markeldik7057 Thanks a lot for asking. Fortunately, it wasn't serious.
My ex-boyfriend used to scream at me a lot and called me autistic, before I knew what ASS actually is. I now know that I ám autistic (+I got braindamaged in an accident, 32 yrs ago), but not for nót obeying him, as he put it. I also know he has 'Trump's disease' aka narcissism.
I would never tell him about my ASS, to avoid his 'told you so'.
I now have this wonderful new boyfriend, since 16 yrs, who informed himself on autism thoroughly and he thinks he may be on the spectrum himself. 💓
I can certainly identify with what you are saying,Mr.Kelly.If I like someone,I can converse for hours with them,but large social gatherings freak me out so I evade attending them.I love to make others laugh and I do have a sarcastic sense of humor.I have a very regimented schedule and become angry and flustered if my schedule is changed at the last minute.I hate the holidays for precisely that reason.I can read people for the most part and seem to have a built in BS detector.I hate phonies.I have literally crossed streets to avoid speaking to some people I do not like or whom I find boring.And my shoelaces are constantly loosening up on me also.I am almost seventy years old and when I was growing up I was just considered to be a big pain in the ass because of my quirks.I enjoyed this video very much.I try to catch everything you put out.Your videos make me feel less weird.Keep them coming.Oh,and I stopped going to funerals years ago.The thought of sitting down for five hours with a bunch of people I do not want to spend any time with and forced to make small talk is too much for me.I have gotten into trouble for that decision.So when I die,I am being cremated.No services.Saves everybody time and trouble.And I have many special interests,only nobody I know shares them.
I feel the same way you're describing about bullies, about aggressive behavior around children or animals in particular, it enrages me. Another thing that sets me off is phonies. Any kind of phony anywhere, people I meet, people on tv, online, where ever. I can spot them in seconds and they just piss me off. I've had to quit watching some sitcoms even because the characters invoke a real hatred in me. Like in King of Queens, I 'hate' "carrie". The wife. I just couldn't stop wanting something bad to happen to her like lock jaw or have her written off the show, nothing to really hurt her, but I had such an aversion to her I had to quit watching it. I know it's my problem, not her's or whomever else, but I can't turn it off. Hawkeye on MASH, the main character. He loves himself too much, never ending talking & it's idle talk just to hear the sound of his own voice, his voice grates on my nerves and, here's the weird part, that's my favorite show. I watch it where it's on cable. 🤷🏻♀️I'm not too crazy about my life because I feel so critical and judgmental.
I had to stop watching shows where a main character tells a really stupid lie for a dumb reason and its played for laughs as the plot in a way like “we’ve all done this, amirite?”
@@InAHollowTree I totally get that. It would've set my teeth on edge every time it was on.
you got me at the part about the shoelaces... i'm over 40 and to this day i'm unable to do my shoes :D I stongly recommend silicone laces, they were game changer for me ;)
Well, the "you can't be autistic" part often comes from the fact that neurotypicals use is kind of "compassion". They often think that you are complaining, that you are scared about some horrible disease so their natural way of going is trying to cheer you up - "oh, no, it can't be that bad! you can't be autistic, you are just... more intelligent and too shy. Work on your shyness and it will be ok!" (true story!)
And calls.. just.. NO! I have maybe 3 people in my life that i accept to call me, because i learnt how to talk to them, but that's about it.
I think the toxicity is people denying what you say is true about yourself. You are the authority on yourself no one can take that away from you. Idk why people just insist on gaslighting.
The best video ever. Wish I had seen this in graduate school so that I could have been a better therapist, a profession I loved for 40 years.
Thank you so much O'Rion, you have helped me understand SO MUCH EXPERIENCES in my life that I didn't understand when I was a child, young adulthood and now I am 33 years old.
I was diagnosed with ADD when I was in grade school. I believe that in the 90s a person was either autistic or neurotypical (as far as the doctors and scientists knew) now there are so much more known things today about the subject and there is the spectrum.
I will be talking with my doctor and get to the bottom of understanding why I have social issues, the emotional confusion and everything that has come from what I truly believe a misdiagnosis like you talked about in other videos.
Thank you so much for the HOLIDAY SURVIVAL video both because it's always a always stressfull time in my life and the way you explained it all, you obviously genuinely understand and articulate it so well as always.
Merry Christmas from Southwest Illinois United States my friend, and anyone else in this community who maybe read this far haha😅 I wish everyone here the best!
Edit: @O,rion I noticed that I originally accidentally misspelled your name.🤦♂️ I'm so used to typing my name "Ryan"😂
I do apologize and thank you for being understanding, I of course didn't mean any disrespect. I'll brainstorm some and let you know if I come up with video ideas, I'm absolutely subscribed to this channel. 🤘🤘
You are creative and funny Orion! I just wish I could click the 👍 1000 more times.
Thank you so much for your informative & insightful podcasts, Orion. I have learnt more about ASD from you than other sources. I look forward to many other topics that you discuss so eloquently. 👍
I've been told that I'm not autistic because I can talk, by several family members. Only about 2%of autistic people are completely non-verbal. I've also been told that I'm not autistic because I can cook elaborate foods and play several musical instruments. Those are two of my special interests.
I have been accused of being an emotionless robot because I have a blunted affect and relatively monotone voice when I talk. Usually it's the same people who say I'm not autistic, who accuse me of this.
You have described me in all of your videos that I have watched, better than even I ever could. I have learned more about myself in watching 10 videos and a few hours worth of your content, than I have in my 51 years on this planet. Thanks so much for your Channel and keep up the fantastic job!!!!!
i love this show. i sometimes wish others could watch these that are 'close' to me, then they would understand me better. your lessons are the same things i try to communicate to my people, but they wouldnt care to hear them from me. ive started blasting these on my facebook recently, maybe someonr will listen.
we operate on good faith, which is apparently a problem
I was once told by a lady (a trans lady none the less) that it was all in my head. To be fair, on a technicality it 'is' in my head.
For me it's because I'm female. I also just look normal. Sometimes its just because some people are like my mom and any differences are just a person being broken or sinful and they can be "repaired." Most of the time I am able to point out how my walking and talking are stilted and other things and most people get it eventually. Some people dont want to think "pretty" girls have internal worlds or idiosyncracies and that I just chalk up to sexism, which is not a new problem. Sometimes its because I'm into fitness and my work performance is really good. Many times people either think autistic people are either savants or not functional. Which is fair. That's how the world's been treating it for decades. If nothing else, the tik tokification of the diagnosis has made people aware that there are a lot of really boring people in the middle.
And really boring is the truth lmao. I have noticed in the community that all the high masking people have this really bland pastiche of what they assume people are supposed to look like. They tend to dress quite nicely and professionally and act quite bland because they have spent decades trying to "people" correctly. That might also be a hurdle for others. Especially in a society where standing out and differentiating yourself is seen as a good thing. It's sort of incomprehensible maybe that someone might spend a lot of time and effort to look and act and be as pastiche as is affordable, and once that is acheived, still be very different
My nephew was diagnosed autistic when he was 18. He is 19 now and your videos have helped me immensely to understand how much I have to learn to understand him. He is very intelligent and creative and yet has been so misunderstood. Thank you so much.
I’m so happy my guides brought me to your channel. I’m 44 and have an official diagnosis of adhd however I still struggle with the same issues since childhood. Because of your channel I finally am going through the autism diagnosis. Thank you
I can tie my laces fine because my parents spent a long time teaching me as a child but trying to tie my childrens laces when the shoes are facing the other way is an incredibly difficult task for me that always takes several attempts and never ends up done right
That sounds like dyspraxia
Excellent points. I finally started to better understand when someone is doing things not in my best interest. I adopted (cognitively) a default position of not trusting anyone very quickly. I learned what sociopaths/psychopaths do. E.g., love bombing, like with a cult. Gaining an understanding of this is an onerous process but better than before. I was recently taken advantage of by someone selling me something. I noticed these things even during but not quite enough, then especially afterwards. So I cancelled the sale. But I was still initially taken in. In the past, I'd have continued with the sale and quelled any doubts. Because I know I can be conned, I'm much more wary of people and anyone who "feels" too good at the outset. I've adopted a coolness (again a cognitive choice) and a wait and see attitude. Having been badly burned in the past made me pay attention to what to do. This goes along with your "Mate" video, too.
Incidentally, the coolness of attitude and letting others prove themselves to me felt unnatural at first but since it makes logical sense, I did it. It involves boundaries. Since I don't have these things naturally (or only a few elements), I accept that to protect myself, I need to learn more, etc. Luckily, psychology is a special interest.
As another benefit, this is helping me to live beyond masking. The cool boundary attitude cuts down on extraneous social contact. I am learning to be more in touch with myself and not how other people are seeing me. The shift from thinking about what I am doing in the eyes of others (even others who may not be immediately present) to my own perceptions, needs, wants, etc. is an important one. It is in some ways the important part of unmasking for me right now. It doesn't have anything to do with being somehow "more open" with others. I will only be open with those I come to trust. I will always try to be civil with everyone, but not open. I'm not saying if this is the case for others, but it is for me.
Orion , you are entertaining, talented and nice to look at . ☺️🌟
Orion; you are creative & funny.
Thank you for making the videos that you make, especially this one, today.
I was diagnosed ADHD at an earlie age, family split shortly after the ADHD diagnosis, & I had meny struggles in school (till I dropped out). Technicl college was easier (special interest).
I have known that I was on the spectrum for meny years. I work very hard to Mask & never understood other people.
I am not good at communicating to begin with & when I try to speak with people about my struggles & the role Autism plays they get very upset wich I find very confusing & has led to avoiding the topic.
Orion, you're creative and funny(!), and I appreciate you.
Thank you.
🤗
I'm 70 and still have to think about right side and left side.
PS; just found out about your channel, love the Aussie accent. it feels good to be heard, seen & understood
Thanks heaps. I learned a bloody lot, mate
Love your entertaining videos that are right on. Some of us with autism are also on the Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, I believe it’s more common than people realize, which shows up physically in body features. Blessings to you.
I appreciate you so much. Thank you for your videos and your honesty about this topic. I connect so many dots listening to these and wanted you to know the impact it has had in my journey to diagnosis at 55. I start my day now listening to people who are like me, so I feel less alone in this, and that is helping. Oh yes, and you are funny and clever (can't remember the exact thing you wanted to hear but hope that will suffice :o)
Orion,
You are creative and totally funny😂
About six months ago was the first time I considered autism and self-diagnosing. I spoke with people who were adults when I was a kid and one lady said I couldn't possibly have autism because I claimed to wear a scarf tight around my neck when I'm overwhelmed in my other senses. She said that because a child she knows who has a formal diagnosis hates sensory input.
Excellent video. Sorry for the multiple messages, but I have ADHD, so if I don't comment when the thing happens, it's gone forever 10 seconds later. The way you break down atypical autism and how it affects you resonated very strongly with me. I believe my whole family may be on the spectrum, but I'm only the second one to look into it/be aware of it. Just starting on the journey to pursue a diagnosis now. My fingers are very crossed, because like I said previously, I come across as socially adept and charming. Inside, I'm a nervous mess, but outside, the mask is very firmly in place. I feel like I always have to plead my case to everyone I've told about being autistic. My closest friends' reactions have been lukewarm at best. Only my autistic friends are understanding and supportive, and I strongly suspect that after nearly two months of intense research, I now know more about autism than my Primary Care Provider, so ... we'll see. Thanks again for this unique and valuable perspective.
Dude. Sick Yoda impression.
My mom is going to love this. 😆
I definitely think you are funny. This is part of why I like your channel better than others
Oh brother you have clicked with me on so many points, like humour im funny everyone around me laughs their asses off but generally i dont find other people funny i havent met many people who can actually make me laugh honestly less than a handful, and even less that consistantly can make me laugh. My laces always come undone or are loose so im forever bulling on the middle of a loose bow trying to make it tighter and then tucking my laces down the side of my ankle i never even thought about that until now. The creative thing really hit me, my partner says the same stuff, youve had free time why didn’t you do you writing or gaming then why do you wait until the most inconvenient time, it causes problems because i’ve tried to explain that I cannot simply force myself to do something i’m not particularly motivated to do at the point it’s like having a muse, sometimes you are given a lot of creativity and sometimes you have none but you can’t pick or plot when that is. Also preform … i have the same issue around here, i moved to my current town 5 years ago, and sooo many people say Pacific when they mean specific, and i’m there raging like “Pacific is the Ocean … that i will drown you in of you use it interchangably with specific, specific is specific, SPECIFIC!
Orion ! You're creative and funny. 👍✨
Thank you so much for this video my daughter who is autistic and turning 9 this month has always had a funny way of always putting her shoes on the opposite foot and her shoes always come untied I frequently stop to tie them which is something that always makes me smile ❤ everything about her makes me smile. Thanks for making me smile today
Orion, I think you're very funny! I , too am creative and think I'm pretty funny. Thank you for all the information you share. It's incredibly helpful for this 50yo just finding out why I am the way I am. Yep, totally binge watching your content😉😂
I’m so glad you said that about not knowing when you’re being scammed. I try really hard and absolutely every time they get me… my family nearly scammed me most recently and I just wanted to trust them… which is hard!
I really love watching ur videos 💞 very informative and great insight to autism, my youngest was just diagnosed this March his 10 we are also getting his 11yr old brother tested as well and we have a feeling I was misdiagnosed as a kid but I haven't gotten diagnosed anyway that's not the point the point is thank you for sharing ur experience with us 🥰
Please, don't forget to take care of yourself 💓 You are important too, if not the most important person here.
If you don't find time to relax and embrace your life-long condition, you won't be able able to help your children.
Trust me, I know what I'm saying as I nearly died from stress, worry and anxiety concerning my son.
wow! this guy is so creative and funny!!
12:34 this mini-rant actually made me smile. and (for reasons i'm too lazy to explain) im actively trying to keep a stone face thru the entire day. no mask, no me- just -__-
but man... im even smiling now as i comment. suppose i'll return to quiet contemplation of the lore behind Orion's shoes.
I'm so interested in what you have to say. My sister and I believe my grandson is on the spectrum, but his parents do not. He's 17 now, and I've seen some of the adult behaviors you describe and have seen more stereotypical behaviors since he was about 1 1/2 yrs old. His parents are very bright, and one works in the mental health field, but they don't recognize the behaviors as possible autism. Maybe I'm wrong, but I hate to see him struggle when there might be better ways of helping him. I'm the grandmother, and can say very little without alienating my family.
I DON'T FEEL ALONE!!!! UGH!!!! I am still burnt out from changes in my routine, and my family needs me to make art, but I'm STRUGGLING!!! It's like my emotions have been cut off!
I get the same can see others but me i take a while or miss lots completely. I can go into fires but them get burnt by the same people as I'm just a good crisis call. Its hard. You have very good content ❤
My shoes used to always come untied and then I learned about the granny knot this year. I had been tying my shoes wrong my whole life. Reversing the first cross of the laces is the easiest fix. I haven't had a shoe come untied since. Look up "granny knot"
I’ve heard of elastic shoelaces so you can slip on your shoes. It’s supposed to b great for us autistics…I wanna try them bc I have to have same “tightness” equil on both ft. Takes forever & I either tie them too tight or not enough & being ocd too…I can’t just retie them if I don’t have access to hand washing facilities. It also took alot of time in 5th grade with numerous people to help me figure out how to tie my own shoes. I don’t have intillectual disabilities and yet……the shoelace nemesis! Our struggles are real. It happens to you as a male and alot to us as females. Ty for all the HELPFUL and authentic videos you make. Much friend love atcha!
Orion, you’re creative & funny🤣
That protective of others thing is intriguing...
I'm practically attracted to exploitative bullies, they are very direct about what they want and I can't help but appreciate the ease in processing their desires.
But then they start liking me and bragging about treating other people that way and I struggle to avoid expressing my disgust.
That’s so amazing to hear it. I’m a protective person too. I don’t really like society but the hell i will never allow someone to be hurt or treated unfairly. And I was like that since childhood. They were calling me a lawyer cos I was always defending people even against teachers if I felt they are not treating them ok.
Thank you! Sincerely, thank you!
I have so much empathy I'm labeled as nosy. I've had to learn not to show it.
"And if you care, don't let them know; don't give yourself away." -Joni Mitchell/Judy Collins
For a long time I thought I couldn’t be autistic because I’m not that much like my brother, who got his aspergers diagnosis in his teens. Our sense of humor is not the same. He has these really obvious things like being unaware of how loud he is sometimes, while I’m the opposite, I mind my tone and seem to sneak up on people. Sometimes I’ll say something that he just finds completely stupid and illogical, and vice versa.
There’s more, but my point is that autistic people are not all the same. I’ve come to realize I’m likely on the spectrum through watching videos by autistic women talking about their experiences. It’s actually kind of insane how different from each other we can be. Two people on the spectrum will not automatically get along because there is no ’one way’ to be autistic.
I was diagnosed in my 20s in 2014. There’s still times where I have to pause when tying shoes to figure it out. I used to watch the cartoon ‘Rock-a-Doodle’ constantly and there was a song called ‘Tyin’ Your Shoes’, I think it was called. Sometimes when I have a bad memory day with my shoes, that song will pop into my head. ❤
I like the lights around the top of the bookshelf in the background that change colour every few seconds. They give me something simple to look at so I don't feel like I have to look you in the eyes (I find looking people in the eye quite distracting while trying to listen to what they're saying).
“I will be so happy that I will look just about the same as do now.” 👍🏼🤣
"Don't get me started on laces" - lol so relatable. I have solved the problem by only buying shoes with no laces but instead, any other other way to be buckled and attached that is easy for me, but laces. Same with buttons, I wear buttonless garments/dresses. Anything comfy and that *I* like. I've had my own style/personal sense of fashion since I was 14. Don't care what other ppl think. As long as *I* like myself in the mirror, then it's fine. Fashion is such nonsense anyway. My narc mother would say to me as a child that I dressed "funny" or like "a clown" or "someone working in a circus". Don't care about her derogatory remarks anymore. I have a luminous box with the message "STAY WEIRD" on it in my entryway. Says it all. Some NTs think I'm "dangerous", well that's their opinion, not my problem (unless they use that so-called "reason" to bully me and/or become agressive. Abuse and violence is never OK. I wish you could make a video about anti-bullying hacks for adults.
Hey, Orion, you know what? You're creative and funny!
Probably a common remark I always heard was "that kid just needs a good spanking" back in my day, some know it all bastard ALWAYS made that remark thinking I was just "acting out".
I totally get it ...I got into performance art BECAUSE I struggled so much to connect and interact. I got into drama in school and then music after school and became a professional singer from the age of 17. I persevered because it was my only option in learning how to function socially and be communicative. I still think I communicate better through body language as a dancer than I do trying to build relationships with anyone other than family. And communicating with family is still challenging and I have to push myself daily to connect with my own children, let alone my parents and siblings. My music career ended up bottoming out because it was too challenging socially while I juggled parenthood. It makes me sad because I LOVE singing and performing and I don't know how to do "out-in-the-world" living now I don't have a job as a performance artist.
I saw a new psychiatrist last week who said " I've worked with autistic children before and you dont present as autistic."
"Dude I'm 54 yrs old, still professionally undiagnosed and have you heard of masking? You learn a lot of making tricks to maintain some sort of a life and as soon as I get in my car after this appointment, I'll sit in my car and the stimming will overtake me, I'll probably zone out and realize after what feels like 15 minutes turns out to have been 2-3 hrs. Bye the time I get home, I'll crash so hard and be so overstimulated that I just literally pass out, usually before I get to a proper place to lie down. Like usually the front seat of my car in front of my apartment for a few hrs until I wake up and it's dark and I've yet to feed my son dinner and have no psychic energy to check in on my son's school progress. The next day I'll still have a hangover from said appointment.. Dude I'm not Rainman, nor do I "present" that way. It's called a freaking spectrum you insensitive, so called psychiatrist whose understanding of Autism seems to be based on your TV and movie concepts of how this thing presents differently in different people, different sexes, or different life circumstances that we individually experience. Ugh!! The arrogance due to a little framed piece of paper on your wall that you earned, God knows how many eons ago. Most of us don't count cards or know the make, model and year of every vehicle that we pass on the road. I'll probably end up seeking out a drs who have actual personal experience with my suspected disorder.
You're so articulate x I'm NT but you have helped me understand
I'm only on communication and performance skills, but this mirrors my experience exactly. I'm similar to you, in that I appear outgoing, gregarious, charming, charismatic. I have ADHD as well, which helps me be chatty and more social, but I do those things only partly from wanting to, and partly as an elaborate mask I learned to put in place when I started high school, around 30 years ago. I knew that people would judge me if I didn't smile and joke and laugh, so I did that all the time. Inside, I have tons of phobias surrounding social occasions, as well as a host of phobias and issues that align with autism. sensory issues, processing issues, meltdowns, burnout. Inside feels very autistic. Outside is a gregarious party hostess. Cannot help it. Thank you for this perspective!
I'd take off my shoes sometimes at the office, occasionally walked to the neighboring cubicle in my socks. Sometimes it just feels weird having something on my feet.
There are ways to lace your shoes where you don't need to tie them every time. I also hate tying my shoes and paying attention to which shoe goes on which foot. So I have them tied "skater" style so I never have to tie them, I just slip them on, and always set so they're on the right side for the foot they're supposed to be put on. I used to ask my mom which right foot even my socks went on before putting them on, to which she always said "It doesn't matter"... felt like it mattered for some reason. So neat to not be alone. Also, you're creative and funny.
Yes I completely understand what you mean when you say it's easy to talk to large crowds compared to one person. Because there's many minds focused on you, that means you get to focus on your own thoughts. When it's only one person though you are obligated to have a back and forth that allows for their needs to be tenderld to too. That's why it's more difficult
I had no idea that struggling with recognising which shoe goes on which foot can be an Autistic trait! It’s nice to know I’m not alone 😅 I’m almost 30 and still sometimes put the wrong shoe or slipper on. Also absolutely despise phone calls as well!
I recently had my first assessment for ASD and I got the impression that the psychiatrist didn’t think I was Autistic because I like hugs, have a partner, and a job… 🙄 I wrote a letter expressing this, which I plan on reading at the next appointment. It’s frustrating trying to prove that I’m Autistic “enough.” It seems like this battle won’t end any time soon. But I think it’s worth it ❤️
Oh, also you’re very creative and funny 😉 and your videos are super helpful, so thanks!
Regarding shoe lacing, i have a 'classy' looing shoes, but actually its single strap velcro based.
Ha ha! Shoes! I wear clogs so I don't have to tie them and I never mix them up when I take them off. Right on the right, left on the left. Always!
Good tips!