I gave up relationships to better learn to love myself. Now I cannot stand being in relationships because I respect myself and my wishes too much to compromise on them for others.
Yes, nothing quite like staying in on the weekend. Bright white light pouring in through the patio door, a good historical novel, and a hot, steamy cup of coffee are the perfect recipe for peace and bliss. The only noise is perhaps the white noise of the dishwasher in the background.
@@Riven0x havent you got no mates to do things with?? you can have genuine interactions with people every minute of everyday, by just being you, thinking with your heart, show genuine interest in what others say, feeling unconditional love for everyone you meet, like the love you have for your family, deep down we are all brothers and sisters just trying to make the best of things, not alowing toxic things into your life/head, i live in bobs bubble detached from the norm i dont really know whats going on in the world, but i know everything going on in my bubble, take control its NEVER to late to make a new start,,,love and contentment from Liverpool UK,XXXX
@@Riven0x hopefully now u have, we are to quick to think there are no real people left in the world because we are surrounded by fake social media and plastic smiles in life, but trust me, there are real people left in the world, we tend to keep to ourselves because of the way society works, but real recognizes real. We are everywhere, you just have to look.
As someone who enjoys solitude and has tried to be more social, I can say that as soon as you reach a certain level of solitude and peace of mind, you don't want to go back.
"I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone". Quote from Robin Williams.
@zenosgrasshopper that's the truth and I can testify to this being verbally abused by a toxic ex girlfriend and been single ever since(this year makes it 5 years)
Being alone is not the same thing as being lonely. I have experienced enough drama due to others. I now chose to 'only' associate with others during shared interests
Check out 'attachment theory' in psychology. That explained to me why some people are painful to deal with! Humans tend to attract, (& be attracted to) the people we are most incompatible with. Is well worth spending some time checking out.
Many avoidently attached humans here. Yea it’s your parents lack of nurturing and/the smothering of a child that can produce this. (It’s your problem now so heal it so you can stop blaming everyone else in the world for your inability to handle humans simply being human…ironically most of us deal with people like you as well as we can as most avoidantly attached are covert narcissists and HIGHLY unaware of it)
I must say, I am quite envious of you. I wish I had the means to live in a quiet spot of the countryside as a hermit, with only a faithful dog as a companion.
I retired and had to pull away from people. Working with them for 45 years was stressful and depressing. When I retired people kept asking me "are you going to volunteer?" "are you going to travel?" I just want to be away from people. That's all. I don't want to be in crowds of tourists and volunteering just means more people without being paid for it.
I semi-retired 19 years ago. After two years I got into all sorts of groups, volunteer work, two live-in boyfriends. I had a very busy 13 years. Beginning in the pandemic I reclaimed the solitude that attracted me to this rural spot. Now I only relate with a few very close friends and family.
I've dealt with people in a business capacity for 25 years now and I can see how shallow, petty, selfish, userous, mean spirited, gossiping, and ungrateful they really are. No good deed goes unpunished in this life. I learned this early on. The only people that are not so horrible are friends I've known for all long time. All I want is to retire and be away from this human garbage that I have to endure to make a living.
I feel like I have been a loner since birth - it's the place I feel most content, most myself. I think it's an incredible blessing to be comfortable with one's solitude - it frees you from dull obligations and because you don't fear loneliness, you don't get involved in relationships simply for the sake of 'having' someone. Solitude is the ultimate liberation. I can truly say I am never more happy than when I am alone in pure quiet, reading, writing or just thinking. It's bliss.
When I'm alone, I have an honest and loving companion, namely myself. There is no room for arguments, dominance and aggression. Anyone who has experienced this and understood it deeply will find every day a miracle for them.❤
I've been married, divorced, and in multiple long and short-term relationships. Even in the "good" reltionships, there's *ALWAYS* a point where I wish I was alone again. A couple of years ago when I reached 40, I realized solitude is just healthier for me. Being raised an only child kind of set me up for it. When I look at all the drama other people deal with when it comes to relationships, family, and friends, it just reinforces my decision.
Being an only kid, in your childhood and early youth, it makes you believe that you need company to not get bored and be happy, because you grew up without siblings. Unfortunately a lot of adults who were only kids, still believe that they need to have people around to be happy and they get just in trouble after trouble
I knew ever since middle school that I was born a loner and each time I entered a social group I had my better self telling me, "you need no one else, you've been alone before, they need others to survive". just wish I didn't waste all my time trying to hold those relationships when in reality no one gives two shits, only the your inner self matters\cares.
@@555reaper it depends what kind of person you're, in my case, I don't need people and I don't like people, to be honest. Even if those moments in the past were "fond", I always felt something annoying around those people. At age 26, when I found a goal I wanted to achieve in life, I realized that people are time - wasters and most of them are extremely dumb
I'm happier when I'm alone. I love solitude. I value inner peace, inner joy, self-reflection, healing, self-love, self-development, self-mastery, self transcendence, freedom. I feel that I don't belong to this world. I'm allergic to humans. And I think most humans don't like me too. But it's ok, I've learned to love and accept myself. This is my last incarnation on Earth. 🙏🧚♀💖🍀🌹
There was a time, when I tried so hard to socialise and fit in. But then I realized I have all the treasure within myself. I don't need anybody else to make me complete. I finally was able to find happiness.
I agree. I admit I'm not so good at fulfilling the social contract of friendship, but human behaviors involving lack of consideration, jealousies, and egoic behaviors make it hard for me.
If you've never been in a relationship you may fall into the trap of romanticing and idealizing it too much. You may even start to fell disgust for your state of single man or woman. Instead, the moment you start to experience what is a relationship "in reality", you discover that there are pros and cons, like almost everything. Expecially if you have suffered because of a toxic partner, you start considering solitude as a peaceful state, rather than lonely situation.
Thank you for the comment. I as a 19 year old do feel that I romanticize it too much, especially seeing other people around me being in relationships. Keeping the reality check helps me appreciate my situation a lot more. This not only applies to relationships, but any other endeavours in life. Remembering that anything has downsides too helps calm down the desire/idealization of what you desire.
This is so true and me being that I have been in 3 total relationships in my life and I'm 24, really says a lot and two of those were toxic(basically the last two) and I been single ever since. I kid you not, it was the best thing that has ever happened. Gained my happiness back, no longer felt depressed and wanting to delete myself, more healthier than ever, and the amount of peace I have gained that I never experienced ever in my life is amazing. Being alone was and still is the best thin that has ever happened to me
@@jaysouthmusic8230 I feel the same, it hurts to lose the person but not as much as losing yourself. And you get an immense amount of peace that I wouldn’t change for anything right now
Being alone is a power that only a few master. I'm not lonely, I find being alone to be enriching. I've been alone 99% of the time for decades and love it. The fact that people need social contacts does not apply, at least in my case.
My social life was rife with betrayal, backstabbing, gossip, lies, cheating, hearsay, arguments, he said she said, fights, users, opportunists, liars and the demoralization of my spirit and mental state.
Basically the same story here. What ultimately drove me to seek solitude was the fact that, whenever I countered the lies and nonsense of others, I was repeatedly gaslighted, ostracised and shamed. I went through a phase of doubting myself, thinking that maybe I was the problem and consequently presenting a passive, diluted version of my self to the world.
Breathe ... breathe in the air! Give thanks to the beauty of creation and have empathy for those who are living in a 'low energy state' .. by this you truely rise above and become closer to Life's Source when you slow down and just be.
After a 30-year career, 2 marriages, 4 kids and a lot of travelling around the world, I just love living and being alone, and adore the solitude, in my older age. I just pray my health holds up.
Well, tbh you shouldn't fear death much. Better accept that it will happen at some point then denying or fearing. You won't even realise it when it's done. Or if you have faith then you'll be in a better place. I think of death like an escape of this world, and perhaps a opening to something greater. ❤
It's probably because you're a phony when you're around other people and it's too much effort to keep that persona up and you tire out, so you're like "Nah, I'm just gonna be myself today" every day and avoid people. you should learn to be yourself and people will like you (not everyone) and in return you will start liking people. It's very unhealthy to isolate yourself.
@@marknewton6984 thats not a intro nor extrovert thing, beeing surounded be artificial people suck your energy away, I'm often on a party and find myself in that spot, I can drink myself out of that discomfort but thats not really a solution, beeing surounded by the wrong cast is just draining
That's the tricky part though. In order to find like-minded people you would have to participate in socializing activities, knowing that the odds are against you and that you are likely to have a miserable time trying. I struggled with this in my twenties.
@@dboi4952 Agreed. Like i said, i struggled with this in my twenties. I held a different view then where i would often wonder what was wrong with me through the eyes of how others perceived me. Since then i went through the journey of discovering my true self and eventually realized that to live life second-handed was contradictory and detrimental to my own personal happiness. I still think that connecting with like-minded people could add to my happiness, but it is no longer a goal that i aspire to obtain, if it happens, great, if not, nothing is lost since you can't lose what you never had to begin with.
This is a really good take on it. I’ve been alone for most of my adult life and mostly by choice. I’m almost 39 and have no kids and have never been married because I never wanted to do that. Being able to do what I want to do my own way is priceless. I love the peace and quiet and living at my own pace.
I've noticed there's a growing hostility towards this sort of lifestyle in society, from both sides of the political spectrum and I really don't understand why... On the right you've got figures like Matt Walsh and Jordan Peterson openly shaming people for choosing not to get married or have kids, or telling them they're wrong and immature for feeling that way. Then on the left you've got feminist activists and the media branding men misogynists for opting out of dating and romantic relationships. It baffles me first of all that these people see it as any of their business, but also why do they even care about other people's private lives?
I was extremely happy during the 2020 Lockdown as well. One of the pinnacles of my life. Meanwhile many others were dealing with depression and a plethora of mental issues. I felt blessed.
I worked in a hospital during Covid . Visitation was suspended. The hospital was a “ghost town.” I functioned better during that period . I think it’s why I like apocalyptic movies.
Since I got older I chose to spend my time alone in my spare time and I love it. No fake people, no drama, no backstabbing (only now at work, which is unfortunately unavoidable, as mentioned in the video, it's not the work, it's the co-workers). In my spare time I ONLY meet the ones I care for/or vice versa. I'm so grateful for those few people and my parents 🙏 Time is a valuable curreny. And in my honest opinion we should all try to be alone once in a while, it makes one independent and strenghten us. Thank you dear Einzelgänger 🙏
Time is not a currency, it's the most valuable constantly diminishing, non-replenishable, non-transferrable commodity that nobody to a person knows how much they were granted or have remaining.
I live in a 19’ travel trailer and maintain a private primitive campground surrounded by mountains, lakes and bike trails. No one comes here. I spend 4-5 hours walking, running, weeding, and cutting grass every morning; the afternoon running errands; and the evening reading, writing, and listening to violin. There is never a moment where I feel like there’s something else I should be doing, because if it thought I should be doing something I WOULD be doing it. I’ve learned that a thing you enjoy is only stupid or pointless or a waste of time in someone else’s view - not your own. So cut them out of your life and don’t worry about it… 🤘😤🤘
I have realized one thing. It is better to be alone than with bad company. I only have very minute friends and they are scattered around...but we built a strong sense of respect. That is true value in my opinion. Society is just out of control.
I spent nearly 3 months alone for the most part. My wife was working and in school and I was at home with a broken leg. After watching all of the Netflix and TH-cam videos I could manage, I was more or less left with my own thoughts. It changed me greatly and is actually when I found this channel as well as quite a bit of philosophy in general
I am 60 and finally divorced,kids all gone and totally life by myself. Just love it , I basically spend about 10 hours a week socializing with family and friends over a few beers on the weekends and look forward to going home and being alone with my dog, property and enjoying quiet with a few beers and whatever I want to do or eat !!!
I enjoy living by myself and with my animals. And at times, I also enjoy connecting with people... what this gives me is the choice to interact when I want to. It's the best of both worlds ❤
Good morning Handsome Dutchman Your videos are always refreshing and validate my aloneness. After a daily diet of so called Spiritual Awareness teachers here in TH-camLand who stress LOVING EVERY other Human Being at all times, I come to your videos and get to breath deeply once again. After so much pain at the hands of other ppl it actually goes against my solitary nature to only love and forgive all the time. You help me feel ok again after so many others tend to make me feel guilty for not being a 'People Person'. Thank you for sharing your kind thoughts. ❤ & Peace
You are never completely alone for long. One goes to the grocery store, the gas station, work, gym, etc. I am single and live alone and I love it. I was married before for a little over nine years with no children. That fulfilled any wish I had to want the experience of being married. Now, I enjoy the peaceful life of being single. I play tennis and basketball, so I socialize while playing sports. Life is good; I am happy and at peace.
I find that most people love inviting chaos into their lives that will obviously cause them problems. As I got older, I kept thinking about why I would want to have friends that constantly make dumb decisions and then depend on me to help them out of it while I'm also dealing with my own life. No thanks. I've been "alone" for like 7 years now, and I am afraid to actually make any friends at all because of the multiple times I've had to deal with other people's problems.
I stress to anyone who will listen - "The quickest, easiest, and most effective way to simplify your life is to mind your own fucking business". Don't participate in any gossip; don't speak about those absent, and don't entertain any talk about others.
me and you both I use to be that listening ear type of friend when it came to other people's problems but when it comes to me the total opposite and I was fed up and when I was at my very lowest that's when every one that so called "loved" me left me hanging and I was by myself. But it was a blessing in disguise looking back at it
Honestly this is EXACTLY how I feel, I don’t give a shit about other people’s bullshit and it seems like that is all people have to offer just their problems and insecurities to push onto you and bring you into their drama and bullshit.
Being alone helps you find a deeper meaning of self. After that, other people's company, and the traditions and trappings accompanying it are extremely shallow. I actually enjoyed my own company while very young. Being around other people always made me tired and constantly finding compromises meant I was never my true self.
It's so great to hear that more people like me exist in this world, I'm grateful for your existence and comment. Sometimes it feels like I'm the only one who prefers being alone over company, I guess like-minded people are rare to find at the places I don't like to be at. Where can I find someone like you?
The worst loneliness is being surrounded by people or being with someone you're unable to communicate with. "The best company is that of our own." [OSCAR WILDE] Never felt more lonely than when in the company of others.
I'm schizoid and I can't stand being around people. It doesn't give me any pleasure or satisfaction, it's draining, tiring, burdensome. Most of them are loud, needy, insecure, fake, judgemental. I prefer other animals like cats - much more civilized, calm, quiet, self sufficient. There's authenticity and joy in animals, no theatrics, no egos.
If you're a loner, you also have to become self-sufficient and transform from a complainer to somebody that finds solutions. For me, the worst people to be around are the people that constantly complain about the same thing and have no interest in finding a solution, so they constantly turn around in the same circle. The second worst are the people that can't listen and always want to talk about themself.
It’s just a fact of life that most people aren’t worth knowing or interacting with. People spend most of their lives trying to convince themselves that this is not the case, with varying degrees of success.
I thoroughly enjoy being single and don't ever plan on being in a relationship again. I can flirt with whoever I want, meet up with whoever I want, desire whatever & whoever I want, watch as much TV as I want. Do whatever I want all the time. Sleep as I want, wake as I want, eat what I want. Think for myself and have agency over my own life and decisions while planning my future. Looking forward to my future and all the good things to come based around- you guessed it Me! 😂
You not lying and not have to worry about another toxic person wasting your time either and taking you forgranted. Been single since 19 and im 24 now best thing I ever did was staying single after a toxic ex gf treated me badly
The book he's talking about Jean-Jacques Rousseau is "Reveries of the Solitary Walker" (Les Rêveries du promeneur solitaire). It's been published short after he died and it's wonderful. Very short, very easy to read. Rousseau never expected it to be read by someone else so it's very personal. He's talking about his last years, being alone, appreciating the nature and his walks. He said he was hated by all the people of Paris he gave so much love to and he was sad about it. The first page is very powerful and overall, it is very touching. I recommend, 100%. :)
Thank you - I will. Rousseau used solitude, as a consistent theme, and was in fact a Luddite ; he was wary of the ills of technological advancement and the ills that it might bring, instead, preferring a simpler, more nature filled life. Sounds good to me.
Thanks for this book recommendation. Sound very interesting. I feel a bit like him (a tiny bit in comparison, I'm sure), where I have put energy into friendships and helped other people and (I thought) been (most of the time) a good friend to them and have people who have dropped me. It's a blind spot on my part, clearly. But it is difficult to take when I have helped some of these friends with certain things and it isn't reciprocated (even just in some small way).
Yeah we give and give sometimes and get nothing back. It can wear on you. Someone really has to extend themselves to me for me to give more than a nod if that.
Solitude is beautiful, being able to be locked in a room 24/7 with someone who you’ve come to love, is just as beautiful. Friends are rare and sometimes seeking them out only leads to time that could have been better spent elsewhere.
especially if there's a group of them that tend to gaslight you and trick you into believing that you are things that you are not and have you question your entire self and existence. Hell even associates are like that most of the time, I prefer to be, will be and die completely alone
If you want a great relationship with someone else, you have to first have one with yourself. Be happy when you're alone, then find someone who makes your life even better in as many ways as possible.
I've been on both sides: alone and among people yet in loneliness. Both are harsh. The balance you were talking about is exactly what I'm striving for now but it's a tightrope-walking-exercise. Loved your video, it came at exactly the right time.
It sounds like a lot of effort, it's worth it who knows. In my case I have already withdrawn from people, 30 years of disappointments are more than enough for me, no matter how difficult it may to be alone.
Yes, whilst I think I'm a loner, I still find interaction with others positive and after all, no one is truly an island. I just have to be selective and careful about how I do it, while remaining "Roussaein" in my core.
I feel this video so strongly! Thank you for making it! A lot of my friends recently think I'm a little crazy because I'm doing a 3 1/2 week journey through Germany in September all by myself. They seem to think I'm depressed or what not but I just really love the idea of being able to go somewhere that I've never been before and do whatever I want whenever I want. Also not to be cliche about it but I find that the more comfortable I am in my own skin, the more comfortable I am around others.
You are the few Enzelganger who keeps telling us , we should be satisfied in our alone state. I take inspiration from you as I journey along singly. Please bring out more content on how not to be afraid of taking this path alone.Thanks.
"When nobody wakes you up in the morning, and when nobody waits for you at night, and when you can do whatever you want. What do you call it, freedom or loneliness?" - Charles Bukowski
I could stand up right now and pack a bag, set the alarm and walk out the door and not return for two weeks. When I return, everything is exactly where I left it, nobody questions where I've been, nor do they doubt my my response. Free as free gets.
@@ilovestitchit's fine brother. But imagine living a life alone like this for 50-60years. No one to ask how was your day. No one to give you a hug when your day goes very bad. No one to calm you in your anxiety, sleepless nights. Life is not always same. We won't be self sufficient always.
@@droid6759 Without other people around me, I don't have those bad days or anxious, sleepless nights. For me people are the cause of this... I've lived alone for almost 20 years already and still doing fine...
I have been following your channel for a while. Your content speak so much to me and to where I am in life and it is unique in how it doesn't try to sell me any idealistic philosophies but rather just share genuine thoughts. From my heart, a deep thank you 🙏
currently alone, no gf, no kids, living in a studio, my career is good. Discovered someone I saw as a friend gossips and is critical of me behind my back, I have stopped association. Left a nagging, ungrateful, ill tempered, ill attitude gf. "Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome partner". Working on my spirituality, have become more grateful, simplistic, in touch with nature, exercise daily and have better sleep.
"In solitude we find the strength we thought we needed from others" The entire video was good but that final line was particularly valuable, and precisely the sort of maxim that one of the ancient stoics might have produced. Thank you, Einzelganger.
The more you're able to be alone, the more at Peace you are with yourself. If you're alone, without distractions, you have to face yourself head-on, no escape, no rescue. Kinda learned that the hard way. Even though, after being better now, a very well-learned treat.
The weird thing is walking in a bustling city with millions of other people almost gives me the same inner peace as walking alone in the woods. However, small towns and villages where everyone knows each other, that's hell for me :D
I’ve loved all this work for a while. Pulled me through some tough times and helped changed my perspective. I appreciate this channel to the moon and back.
I dislike how people frame those who want to be alone, e.g. in relationships, as being selfish or immature. Maybe not total and permanent isolation, but everyone needs some space and alone time for a healthy balance
You cannot be selfish if you are alone. There is no one to be selfish to. Selfishness is a social construct, related to others. You can be alone and generous to others. Solitude doesn't imply hating others either. I wish the best to others, help them when I can, and return to my solitude when I'm done.
Extremely true. I’m going through the transfer right now. I just sold my restaurant do to health issues with myself and my brother. Less people. Less problems. Thank you for making this video. I needed to hear this. 🙏
@Earthtime3978 it might seem wrong at the moment but ultimately it'll be the right decision I believe, for our heart is smarter than the mind so we don't even know why it's feeling the way it is
I know this channel serves its purpose and it used to bring me such comfort. But the truth is after 14 years of spending most of my time alone I've come realise the harm it's done to me. People always let you down, but I expect that and still find I have more fun doing pretty much nothing with somebody I like than doing anything at all on my own. A conversation is more fun to me than reading is nowadays. I'd rather talk about music than actually listen to it. Everything from deep conservations to mindless chatter, as long as it flows and there is rhythm, it's just intoixacting to me now.
For me, solitude is a place of harmony that gives me strength to achieve my goals. I work and study and have to deal with various type of people but in the end of the day i can always return to my fortress of solitude. I do socialize with people but on my own terms because my inner thoughts and private life in general belongs only to me and it's my choice whether I deicide to share it or not.
I agree - I can get into a nice state flow in solitude, where personal growth happens ; then when I get an upsetting email, involving someone I know from my past, or some family interaction, its can throw me off balance for days.
Thanks E. I took a month off of my routine. A busy time on the farm. I'm greatful you are with me again as I do springtime in dixieland. Here's to spring 🐣
If Im around the right people and can fully be myself, I really enjoy my socializing. Ive come to realize being alone is the only thing I can do to fully recharge from socializing and be able to clearly think. Im a singer-songwriter. So having as much alone time as possible is very important to me to focus on my writing, recording, and live performances. Remember people. Being alone doesnt mean you're lonely. I can feel lonely in a crowd of people especially when everyone is on their dumb-phones. Being a musician is the perfect lifestyle for me bc I can be alone in the middle of nowhere working on my music, then when Im performing, I get tons of socializing in whether its through playing in front of people or schmoozing after the performance.
I thoroughly enjoy being with people, in a limited capacity. When I attend a social event or gathering, I immerse myself in the experience. I seek out not only those people I know well, but also those I may have only met once before, and I enjoy meeting new people. But if I had to guess the ratio of time with people versus time spent alone where I am most comfortable, I would place it somewhere at 90/10 or 95/5 with the larger number representing time alone. I don't find being with people draining, as I actually feel invigorated to some degree being with other people. What I experience is that I am quickly satiated being with people, and once I leave a social event, I have no desire to socialize again for quite some time. Sort of, "Ok, that was fun! I'm good now."
It's a mixed bag for me. I've been hurt time & time again by society, so i feel bitter & I've retreated from it. At the same time, I could socialize & take part again but I just don't want to.
It's nice to have the independence and freedom of not needing other people to make me happy. Me + Nature in combination is more than enough to be able to do that. Give me a beautiful landscape/sunset over a beautiful person any day of the week. The former doesn't go about judging & controlling you, whereas the latter more often than not does...if not initially, eventually...
Guys just remember: Whenever you feel lonely, just put your own life into perspective/comparison. I mean you could be blind your whole life so you wish to be able to see. You could be starving somewhere on this planet so you wish to have something to eat. As long as your own fate is better than others, there is no reason to complain. -> Are you more or less healthy? If yes, there you go. That alone is a reason to be perfectly happy, since not everyone is healthy. We can't have everything and a perfect life only exists in fairytales so just focus on the things YOU do have compared to others and value them accordingly.
As someone who has lived alone and “has no friends” for 3 years, I’m doing great. No depression or anxiety, no gf or screaming kids, just me and the world. I like it this way because I don’t feel the pressure of having to fake things or opinions that would get me hate. We are so caught up in worrying about what others think, especially today where you always have to have an opinion about every topic. Being alone is beautiful if you do it right, and in no way harmful like society makes it out to be. And I don’t struggle at all socialising with others as I had a wonderful discussion with my co-worker yesterday. I always think “Is this conversation going to be worth it? Will it be meaningful and long or short and sweet? Do I have the energy to expend to converse?” Is what I ask myself if I feel ready to talk. Sometimes I don’t feel like I want to talk, so instead of forcing myself I either say “I don’t like to share my opinions” or “I’d rather not talk about that” instead of ignoring the person. They end up liking me for some reason. So yes, being alone is pretty nice.
I made it a habit to never tell my friends, relatives and other loved ones that "I like to be alone" instead I tell them that "I like to be for myself" - to me that fits more to the essence of what I feel: I love people, I love sharing my time, my love and meaningful conversations with them. And at the same time I couldn't imagine my life without having frequent retreats. It's a deep seated need for me. I am happy and grateful that many people around me respect this need: As a child, I was allowed to withdraw from groups when it became too much for me. My partner is happy to join in when I want to look after my friends' children - and he is happy with the fact that I don't want children of my own. That doesn't mean there aren't any challenges: My parents were often worried that I wasn't integrating enough. And it's difficult for my partner to accept that I want to rent a small apartment next to the apartment we share, where I can be on my own every now and then. But in the end, I believe that we are all there for each other. And compromises are also good solutions for me. Lots of love and greetings from Germany, btw 🙂
When I had friends I always seemed to always disappoint them. No matter what I did to be good for them. I always end up disappointing them. I give up. Can't disappoint anyone if I'm alone.
Solitude is addictive. Once you learn to enjoy your own company, there is no better thing to achieve peace.
I agree 100%.
Agreed. It is almost intoxicating.
I gave up relationships to better learn to love myself. Now I cannot stand being in relationships because I respect myself and my wishes too much to compromise on them for others.
It’s the truth
Yes, nothing quite like staying in on the weekend. Bright white light pouring in through the patio door, a good historical novel, and a hot, steamy cup of coffee are the perfect recipe for peace and bliss. The only noise is perhaps the white noise of the dishwasher in the background.
What i hate the most about being with other people is that it makes me feel fake. Only when i am alone can i be my true self.
So true. I hate the fake smile I need to put-on to keep my job safe. It comes natural to me and I'm so not proud of it, but have to live with it.
@@Riven0x havent you got no mates to do things with?? you can have genuine interactions with people every minute of everyday, by just being you, thinking with your heart, show genuine interest in what others say, feeling unconditional love for everyone you meet, like the love you have for your family, deep down we are all brothers and sisters just trying to make the best of things, not alowing toxic things into your life/head, i live in bobs bubble detached from the norm i dont really know whats going on in the world, but i know everything going on in my bubble, take control its NEVER to late to make a new start,,,love and contentment from Liverpool UK,XXXX
@@Riven0x hopefully now u have, we are to quick to think there are no real people left in the world because we are surrounded by fake social media and plastic smiles in life, but trust me, there are real people left in the world, we tend to keep to ourselves because of the way society works, but real recognizes real. We are everywhere, you just have to look.
Watch the wisdom 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary] ❤
Watch the wisdom 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary] ❤
As someone who enjoys solitude and has tried to be more social, I can say that as soon as you reach a certain level of solitude and peace of mind, you don't want to go back.
I completely agree.
👍👍👍
Whenever I thought I felt lonely, I tried to socialize more, only to be reminded afterwards why I like being alone
People are annoying
@@DexterMorgan-sd4jx true
"I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone". Quote from Robin Williams.
Yup rest in peace to him
Nobody can make you feel anything….not a smart quote really…
@@mmilanovicnot a smart reply, either.
My ex-in-laws made me feel that way. Made me feel like air, like I don't exist, looking past me. I tell you, it's hell.
You’re over thinking it. If you’re alone, you’re alone
“Social interaction has a price” great talk my friend
Watch the wisdom 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary] ❤
@@VeganSemihCyprus33 vegan, I will be sure to do so 😅
❤ agreed, thanks 🙏
EVERYTHING has its price and its pleasure. This is nothing new
social interaction is a path not a price. thank you.
"Better alone rather than badly accompanied."
Watch the wisdom 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary] ❤
Better well accompanied than alone!
4 sure 💯
Spot on
Try my ex wife and you will be both, alone, and badly accompanied 😊
“ Loneliness is the pain of being alone. Solitude is the glory of being alone.” - Paul Tillich
I just flew in from Pittsburgh and boy are my arms tired. Daffy duck.
So true
"Being Alone Is Better than being Ignored"
Being alone is better than being abused (in any of the forms that abuse can manifest).
@@zenosgrasshopperor used,or manipulated
I do agree
@zenosgrasshopper that's the truth and I can testify to this being verbally abused by a toxic ex girlfriend and been single ever since(this year makes it 5 years)
If everyone is ignoring you it's probably a YOU problem, not everyone else...
For In solitude, we find the strength we thought we needed from others.
-my new life motto
Powerful: "In solitude, we find the strength we thought we needed from others." 🙌🏼
Hi
I wish I felt that way
Being alone is not the same thing as being lonely. I have experienced enough drama due to others. I now chose to 'only' associate with others during shared interests
I love the fact that you didn’t mention being a loner, because it’s frustrating to hear that coming from social beings. “Humans”
Agreed 👍
I’m never lonely when I’m alone, I’m only lonely when I’m in a big group.
@@samuricexful I relate
Absolutely.
I find people are a perpetual source of pain for me. Solitude is my freedom.
Watch the wisdom 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary] ❤
Same, I tried to be the social type. It wasn't for me. the quiet is the most freeing thing I have ever felt.
Check out 'attachment theory' in psychology. That explained to me why some people are painful to deal with! Humans tend to attract, (& be attracted to) the people we are most incompatible with. Is well worth spending some time checking out.
I spend 3 months in a hotel in winter, at times some of the guests can make it
unbearable.
Many avoidently attached humans here. Yea it’s your parents lack of nurturing and/the smothering of a child that can produce this. (It’s your problem now so heal it so you can stop blaming everyone else in the world for your inability to handle humans simply being human…ironically most of us deal with people like you as well as we can as most avoidantly attached are covert narcissists and HIGHLY unaware of it)
Been a hermit for the last year. I only interact with people every 6-8 weeks, when I go into town for supplies. It’s been a great time.
Solitude is underestimated..
I must say, I am quite envious of you. I wish I had the means to live in a quiet spot of the countryside as a hermit, with only a faithful dog as a companion.
I retired and had to pull away from people. Working with them for 45 years was stressful and depressing. When I retired people kept asking me "are you going to volunteer?" "are you going to travel?" I just want to be away from people. That's all. I don't want to be in crowds of tourists and volunteering just means more people without being paid for it.
I understand.
People exhaust me. I am retired too and feel very much the same way you do!
"Life sucks then you die."😊
No no no
Being around makes life suck😅
Once you keep them away life is pretty good.
Peace to you and your solitude.
✌️🙏🙌
I semi-retired 19 years ago. After two years I got into all sorts of groups, volunteer work, two live-in boyfriends. I had a very busy 13 years. Beginning in the pandemic I reclaimed the solitude that attracted me to this rural spot. Now I only relate with a few very close friends and family.
I recently retired and love solitude and being alone. I completely understand what you are feeling!
I've dealt with people in a business capacity for 25 years now and I can see how shallow, petty, selfish, userous, mean spirited, gossiping, and ungrateful they really are. No good deed goes unpunished in this life. I learned this early on. The only people that are not so horrible are friends I've known for all long time. All I want is to retire and be away from this human garbage that I have to endure to make a living.
Travelling solo and especially to natural parks makes you the rhinoceros in peaceful solitude.
I feel like I have been a loner since birth - it's the place I feel most content, most myself. I think it's an incredible blessing to be comfortable with one's solitude - it frees you from dull obligations and because you don't fear loneliness, you don't get involved in relationships simply for the sake of 'having' someone. Solitude is the ultimate liberation. I can truly say I am never more happy than when I am alone in pure quiet, reading, writing or just thinking. It's bliss.
When I'm alone, I have an honest and loving companion, namely myself. There is no room for arguments, dominance and aggression. Anyone who has experienced this and understood it deeply will find every day a miracle for them.❤
I've been married, divorced, and in multiple long and short-term relationships. Even in the "good" reltionships, there's *ALWAYS* a point where I wish I was alone again. A couple of years ago when I reached 40, I realized solitude is just healthier for me. Being raised an only child kind of set me up for it.
When I look at all the drama other people deal with when it comes to relationships, family, and friends, it just reinforces my decision.
Indeed
Being an only kid, in your childhood and early youth, it makes you believe that you need company to not get bored and be happy, because you grew up without siblings.
Unfortunately a lot of adults who were only kids, still believe that they need to have people around to be happy and they get just in trouble after trouble
I knew ever since middle school that I was born a loner and each time I entered a social group I had my better self telling me, "you need no one else, you've been alone before, they need others to survive". just wish I didn't waste all my time trying to hold those relationships when in reality no one gives two shits, only the your inner self matters\cares.
But, Do you ever feel like you’re missing out? Like despite the drama they bring, you look back at those memories fondly?
@@555reaper it depends what kind of person you're, in my case, I don't need people and I don't like people, to be honest.
Even if those moments in the past were "fond", I always felt something annoying around those people.
At age 26, when I found a goal I wanted to achieve in life, I realized that people are time - wasters and most of them are extremely dumb
I'm happier when I'm alone. I love solitude. I value inner peace, inner joy, self-reflection, healing, self-love, self-development, self-mastery, self transcendence, freedom. I feel that I don't belong to this world. I'm allergic to humans. And I think most humans don't like me too. But it's ok, I've learned to love and accept myself. This is my last incarnation on Earth. 🙏🧚♀💖🍀🌹
Our community has been traumatized and disconnected 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary] ❤
Same. Enjoy!
❤️🌴🐈🐈🐈🌴🏴☠️
The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone.
Henrik Ibsen
How do you know this is your "last incarnation", is there solid proof or just based on beliefs?
❤ agreed, thanks 🙏
There was a time, when I tried so hard to socialise and fit in. But then I realized I have all the treasure within myself. I don't need anybody else to make me complete. I finally was able to find happiness.
Not everyone can do that. It’s fantastic that you’re able to do that.
Me and you both man
When we learn to be alone artfully, we no longer use other people as an escape.
Also not to use youtube / video games as an escape.
@@agogleuser7619You are absolutely right
I agree. I admit I'm not so good at fulfilling the social contract of friendship, but human behaviors involving lack of consideration, jealousies, and egoic behaviors make it hard for me.
If you've never been in a relationship you may fall into the trap of romanticing and idealizing it too much. You may even start to fell disgust for your state of single man or woman. Instead, the moment you start to experience what is a relationship "in reality", you discover that there are pros and cons, like almost everything. Expecially if you have suffered because of a toxic partner, you start considering solitude as a peaceful state, rather than lonely situation.
Thank you for the comment. I as a 19 year old do feel that I romanticize it too much, especially seeing other people around me being in relationships. Keeping the reality check helps me appreciate my situation a lot more. This not only applies to relationships, but any other endeavours in life. Remembering that anything has downsides too helps calm down the desire/idealization of what you desire.
This is so true and me being that I have been in 3 total relationships in my life and I'm 24, really says a lot and two of those were toxic(basically the last two) and I been single ever since. I kid you not, it was the best thing that has ever happened. Gained my happiness back, no longer felt depressed and wanting to delete myself, more healthier than ever, and the amount of peace I have gained that I never experienced ever in my life is amazing. Being alone was and still is the best thin that has ever happened to me
Agree 💯
@@jaysouthmusic8230 I feel the same, it hurts to lose the person but not as much as losing yourself. And you get an immense amount of peace that I wouldn’t change for anything right now
Yeah, women will switch their emotions for you on and off, and it can hurt that's for sure.
I love being alone and not having friends. It is just simple, way less BS.
It is🎉🎉🎉
❤❤❤❤❤
Amen, man.
I feel more loneliness when I'm socializing with others too long. A short appearance, then back to my peaceful and happy solitary life
Being alone is a power that only a few master. I'm not lonely, I find being alone to be enriching. I've been alone 99% of the time for decades and love it. The fact that people need social contacts does not apply, at least in my case.
Indeed🎉
keep telling yourself that cope, lonely man
@@marathon01 I'm not lonely.
@@marathon01lol wtf
@@marathon01 Something a lonely person would say lol.
My social life was rife with betrayal, backstabbing, gossip, lies, cheating, hearsay, arguments, he said she said, fights, users, opportunists, liars and the demoralization of my spirit and mental state.
Wow, this all sounds familiar to me.
It has been the same for me. Now I'm 50 years old and alone. Absolutely alone
@@idaloup6721 I am too. I'd like to reach out you. I don't know how. When I open up and express my thoughts and feelings TH-cam shuts me down.
Basically the same story here. What ultimately drove me to seek solitude was the fact that, whenever I countered the lies and nonsense of others, I was repeatedly gaslighted, ostracised and shamed. I went through a phase of doubting myself, thinking that maybe I was the problem and consequently presenting a passive, diluted version of my self to the world.
Breathe ... breathe in the air! Give thanks to the beauty of creation and have empathy for those who are living in a 'low energy state' .. by this you truely rise above and become closer to Life's Source when you slow down and just be.
"When I'm alone there's never a problem. When I'm with people there's always a problem"
Very true comment I read somewhere on TH-cam
After a 30-year career, 2 marriages, 4 kids and a lot of travelling around the world, I just love living and being alone, and adore the solitude, in my older age. I just pray my health holds up.
Well, tbh you shouldn't fear death much. Better accept that it will happen at some point then denying or fearing. You won't even realise it when it's done. Or if you have faith then you'll be in a better place. I think of death like an escape of this world, and perhaps a opening to something greater. ❤
@@Mirthe4390 Many people who "have faith" only have it because they fear winding up in a far worse place after death.
honestly; I have come to really enjoy my own company more than the company of others these days
Yes I think of it like every second infinite possibilities. Completely free. You only have one life and you should take advantage of this situation
Ey nice truck in your my dude
Watch the wisdom 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary] ❤
keep telling yourself that cope, lonely man
It's probably because you're a phony when you're around other people and it's too much effort to keep that persona up and you tire out, so you're like "Nah, I'm just gonna be myself today" every day and avoid people. you should learn to be yourself and people will like you (not everyone) and in return you will start liking people. It's very unhealthy to isolate yourself.
The worst loneliness is when you are surrounded by people.
Extroverts suck up energy.
For introverts and those whom you are not connect with
@@marknewton6984 they really do
The worst loneliness is when your solitude is invaded by people.
@@marknewton6984 thats not a intro nor extrovert thing, beeing surounded be artificial people suck your energy away, I'm often on a party and find myself in that spot, I can drink myself out of that discomfort but thats not really a solution, beeing surounded by the wrong cast is just draining
In many cases people don't want to be alone, they just don't want to be around the people available to them.
That's the tricky part though. In order to find like-minded people you would have to participate in socializing activities, knowing that the odds are against you and that you are likely to have a miserable time trying. I struggled with this in my twenties.
@@maurices5954you're not truly content with being alone if you're looking for people to be around.
@@dboi4952 Agreed. Like i said, i struggled with this in my twenties. I held a different view then where i would often wonder what was wrong with me through the eyes of how others perceived me. Since then i went through the journey of discovering my true self and eventually realized that to live life second-handed was contradictory and detrimental to my own personal happiness.
I still think that connecting with like-minded people could add to my happiness, but it is no longer a goal that i aspire to obtain, if it happens, great, if not, nothing is lost since you can't lose what you never had to begin with.
Its very different for men then for woman
This is a really good take on it. I’ve been alone for most of my adult life and mostly by choice. I’m almost 39 and have no kids and have never been married because I never wanted to do that. Being able to do what I want to do my own way is priceless. I love the peace and quiet and living at my own pace.
I totally agree with you and I am 78 with no regrets
👍👍👍
I've noticed there's a growing hostility towards this sort of lifestyle in society, from both sides of the political spectrum and I really don't understand why... On the right you've got figures like Matt Walsh and Jordan Peterson openly shaming people for choosing not to get married or have kids, or telling them they're wrong and immature for feeling that way. Then on the left you've got feminist activists and the media branding men misogynists for opting out of dating and romantic relationships.
It baffles me first of all that these people see it as any of their business, but also why do they even care about other people's private lives?
It could be good if you’re alone and have a fair amount of money. Being alone and broke is another animal.
You are missing the best of life
What a lovely surprise to discover how unlonely being alone can be.
Watch the wisdom 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary] ❤
Yes indeed😮
@@VeganSemihCyprus33where?
My happiest time in my life was during the lockdown of 2020. Peace was awesome.
Made no difference to me.
I was extremely happy during the 2020 Lockdown as well. One of the pinnacles of my life. Meanwhile many others were dealing with depression and a plethora of mental issues. I felt blessed.
Ahhhh yes, the quiet! I didn't like the people dying part but loved everything else about it. It's when I discovered my lone wolf nature.
I worked in a hospital during Covid . Visitation was suspended. The hospital was a “ghost town.” I functioned better during that period . I think it’s why I like apocalyptic movies.
Did not affect my lifestyle at all.
Since I got older I chose to spend my time alone in my spare time and I love it. No fake people, no drama, no backstabbing (only now at work, which is unfortunately unavoidable, as mentioned in the video, it's not the work, it's the co-workers). In my spare time I ONLY meet the ones I care for/or vice versa. I'm so grateful for those few people and my parents 🙏 Time is a valuable curreny. And in my honest opinion we should all try to be alone once in a while, it makes one independent and strenghten us. Thank you dear Einzelgänger 🙏
Time is not a currency, it's the most valuable constantly diminishing, non-replenishable, non-transferrable commodity that nobody to a person knows how much they were granted or have remaining.
I live in a 19’ travel trailer and maintain a private primitive campground surrounded by mountains, lakes and bike trails. No one comes here. I spend 4-5 hours walking, running, weeding, and cutting grass every morning; the afternoon running errands; and the evening reading, writing, and listening to violin. There is never a moment where I feel like there’s something else I should be doing, because if it thought I should be doing something I WOULD be doing it. I’ve learned that a thing you enjoy is only stupid or pointless or a waste of time in someone else’s view - not your own.
So cut them out of your life and don’t worry about it… 🤘😤🤘
How you get income then?
@@amaze-on07 I worked for twenty years and lived in a camper. So I made it; now I have it.
I have realized one thing. It is better to be alone than with bad company. I only have very minute friends and they are scattered around...but we built a strong sense of respect. That is true value in my opinion. Society is just out of control.
Our community has been traumatized and disconnected 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary] ❤
Yes🎉
Grooovy😏
"When you're alone, do you call it loneliness? Or do you call it freedom?"
with the shit i've seen? the latter
Exactly @@Aki-kh2qe-StreetKidZZZ
FREEDOM
🇺🇸
In two years, the USA will be 250 years old ... hopefully all of our generations will come together on the true meaning of freedom 😂
I spent nearly 3 months alone for the most part. My wife was working and in school and I was at home with a broken leg. After watching all of the Netflix and TH-cam videos I could manage, I was more or less left with my own thoughts. It changed me greatly and is actually when I found this channel as well as quite a bit of philosophy in general
I am 60 and finally divorced,kids all gone and totally life by myself. Just love it , I basically spend about 10 hours a week socializing with family and friends over a few beers on the weekends and look forward to going home and being alone with my dog, property and enjoying quiet with a few beers and whatever I want to do or eat !!!
I love being on my own. No rules.
Our community has been traumatized and disconnected 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary] ❤
Indeed
I enjoy living by myself and with my animals. And at times, I also enjoy connecting with people... what this gives me is the choice to interact when I want to. It's the best of both worlds ❤
OMG I have been looking for channels like this one for soooo long. I thought I was crazy and weird but now I know I am not alone.
Good morning
Handsome Dutchman
Your videos are always refreshing and validate my aloneness.
After a daily diet of so called Spiritual Awareness teachers here in TH-camLand who stress LOVING EVERY other Human Being at all times, I come to your videos and get to breath deeply once again.
After so much pain at the hands of other ppl it actually goes against my solitary nature to only love and forgive all the time.
You help me feel ok again after so many others tend to make me feel guilty for not being a 'People Person'.
Thank you for sharing your kind thoughts. ❤ & Peace
Our community has been traumatized and disconnected 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary] ❤
People don’t understand that not everyone is a people person. You’re still a person.
You are never completely alone for long. One goes to the grocery store, the gas station, work, gym, etc. I am single and live alone and I love it. I was married before for a little over nine years with no children. That fulfilled any wish I had to want the experience of being married. Now, I enjoy the peaceful life of being single. I play tennis and basketball, so I socialize while playing sports. Life is good; I am happy and at peace.
I find that most people love inviting chaos into their lives that will obviously cause them problems. As I got older, I kept thinking about why I would want to have friends that constantly make dumb decisions and then depend on me to help them out of it while I'm also dealing with my own life. No thanks. I've been "alone" for like 7 years now, and I am afraid to actually make any friends at all because of the multiple times I've had to deal with other people's problems.
I stress to anyone who will listen - "The quickest, easiest, and most effective way to simplify your life is to mind your own fucking business".
Don't participate in any gossip; don't speak about those absent, and don't entertain any talk about others.
me and you both I use to be that listening ear type of friend when it came to other people's problems but when it comes to me the total opposite and I was fed up and when I was at my very lowest that's when every one that so called "loved" me left me hanging and I was by myself. But it was a blessing in disguise looking back at it
You've made a great decision!
Honestly this is EXACTLY how I feel, I don’t give a shit about other people’s bullshit and it seems like that is all people have to offer just their problems and insecurities to push onto you and bring you into their drama and bullshit.
Being alone helps you find a deeper meaning of self. After that, other people's company, and the traditions and trappings accompanying it are extremely shallow. I actually enjoyed my own company while very young. Being around other people always made me tired and constantly finding compromises meant I was never my true self.
It's so great to hear that more people like me exist in this world, I'm grateful for your existence and comment. Sometimes it feels like I'm the only one who prefers being alone over company, I guess like-minded people are rare to find at the places I don't like to be at. Where can I find someone like you?
The worst loneliness is being surrounded by people or being with someone you're unable to communicate with.
"The best company is that of our own." [OSCAR WILDE]
Never felt more lonely than when in the company of others.
I'm schizoid and I can't stand being around people. It doesn't give me any pleasure or satisfaction, it's draining, tiring, burdensome. Most of them are loud, needy, insecure, fake, judgemental.
I prefer other animals like cats - much more civilized, calm, quiet, self sufficient. There's authenticity and joy in animals, no theatrics, no egos.
😊 ✌
The more I know people
the better I love my cat.
THAT! I can fully understand what you're saying.
Just me and my beautiful doggies till the end!
there is an elegance and nobility in cats which most humans lack significantly
@@thedragonofthewest5789
👌
If you're a loner, you also have to become self-sufficient and transform from a complainer to somebody that finds solutions.
For me, the worst people to be around are the people that constantly complain about the same thing and have no interest in finding a solution, so they constantly turn around in the same circle.
The second worst are the people that can't listen and always want to talk about themself.
Alone but
never lonely.
Solitude =
stress free living.
You describe being alone perfectly, thank you! Peace
It’s just a fact of life that most people aren’t worth knowing or interacting with. People spend most of their lives trying to convince themselves that this is not the case, with varying degrees of success.
What if you're scared of being someone not worth knowing or being interacted with?
I thoroughly enjoy being single and don't ever plan on being in a relationship again. I can flirt with whoever I want, meet up with whoever I want, desire whatever & whoever I want, watch as much TV as I want. Do whatever I want all the time. Sleep as I want, wake as I want, eat what I want. Think for myself and have agency over my own life and decisions while planning my future. Looking forward to my future and all the good things to come based around- you guessed it Me! 😂
You not lying and not have to worry about another toxic person wasting your time either and taking you forgranted. Been single since 19 and im 24 now best thing I ever did was staying single after a toxic ex gf treated me badly
I'm truly grateful for the timing of this video and the knowledge obtained by just simply listening. Thank you. 🙏❤
The book he's talking about Jean-Jacques Rousseau is "Reveries of the Solitary Walker" (Les Rêveries du promeneur solitaire). It's been published short after he died and it's wonderful. Very short, very easy to read. Rousseau never expected it to be read by someone else so it's very personal. He's talking about his last years, being alone, appreciating the nature and his walks. He said he was hated by all the people of Paris he gave so much love to and he was sad about it. The first page is very powerful and overall, it is very touching. I recommend, 100%. :)
Thank you - I will. Rousseau used solitude, as a consistent theme, and was in fact a Luddite ; he was wary of the ills of technological advancement and the ills that it might bring, instead, preferring a simpler, more nature filled life. Sounds good to me.
Thanks for this book recommendation. Sound very interesting. I feel a bit like him (a tiny bit in comparison, I'm sure), where I have put energy into friendships and helped other people and (I thought) been (most of the time) a good friend to them and have people who have dropped me. It's a blind spot on my part, clearly. But it is difficult to take when I have helped some of these friends with certain things and it isn't reciprocated (even just in some small way).
Yeah we give and give sometimes and get nothing back. It can wear on you. Someone really has to extend themselves to me for me to give more than a nod if that.
Solitude is beautiful, being able to be locked in a room 24/7 with someone who you’ve come to love, is just as beautiful. Friends are rare and sometimes seeking them out only leads to time that could have been better spent elsewhere.
especially if there's a group of them that tend to gaslight you and trick you into believing that you are things that you are not and have you question your entire self and existence. Hell even associates are like that most of the time, I prefer to be, will be and die completely alone
If you want a great relationship with someone else, you have to first have one with yourself.
Be happy when you're alone, then find someone who makes your life even better in as many ways as possible.
I've been on both sides: alone and among people yet in loneliness. Both are harsh. The balance you were talking about is exactly what I'm striving for now but it's a tightrope-walking-exercise. Loved your video, it came at exactly the right time.
Great point Two Dudes!!
It sounds like a lot of effort, it's worth it who knows. In my case I have already withdrawn from people, 30 years of disappointments are more than enough for me, no matter how difficult it may to be alone.
@@Wuwei72-o5n Depends on the person as well, i'm sure!
Our community has been traumatized and disconnected 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary] ❤
Yes, whilst I think I'm a loner, I still find interaction with others positive and after all, no one is truly an island. I just have to be selective and careful about how I do it, while remaining "Roussaein" in my core.
I feel this video so strongly! Thank you for making it! A lot of my friends recently think I'm a little crazy because I'm doing a 3 1/2 week journey through Germany in September all by myself. They seem to think I'm depressed or what not but I just really love the idea of being able to go somewhere that I've never been before and do whatever I want whenever I want.
Also not to be cliche about it but I find that the more comfortable I am in my own skin, the more comfortable I am around others.
Hope you have a wonderful time!
I hate when people think like that and it shows that they can't be alone and happy by themselves
Having superficial conversations about their own lives over expensive meals was getting old.
I love being alone and spending my alone-time sufficiently like how it helps me to generally be more positively selective about my companionships.
Same here and it shows me I never have to settle for less again when it comes to friendships and relationships
Even if my apartment is a "complete mess!" to others, im happy with how it is, and happy with how i take care of it. Being alone is the best.....
You are the few Enzelganger who keeps telling us , we should be satisfied in our alone state. I take inspiration from you as I journey along singly. Please bring out more content on how not to be afraid of taking this path alone.Thanks.
I agree with this.
Wise words from a pilot
“It’s better to be on the ground and wishing you were in the air, than to be in the air and wishing you were on the ground.”
"When nobody wakes you up in the morning, and when nobody waits for you at night, and when you can do whatever you want. What do you call it, freedom or loneliness?" - Charles Bukowski
I could stand up right now and pack a bag, set the alarm and walk out the door and not return for two weeks. When I return, everything is exactly where I left it, nobody questions where I've been, nor do they doubt my my response.
Free as free gets.
@@ilovestitchit's fine brother. But imagine living a life alone like this for 50-60years. No one to ask how was your day. No one to give you a hug when your day goes very bad. No one to calm you in your anxiety, sleepless nights. Life is not always same. We won't be self sufficient always.
@@droid6759 Without other people around me, I don't have those bad days or anxious, sleepless nights. For me people are the cause of this...
I've lived alone for almost 20 years already and still doing fine...
For some, it's "loneliness", for others "freedom".
@@ilovestitch That holds up if you don't have to work. Or at least work around other people. Or work a job where something could go wrong.
I love being a Lone 🐺 ❤
Our community has been traumatized and disconnected 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary] ❤
You’re not alone in that😐
I just don't do drama so being alone makes for a much happier and more peaceful existance 😅
I have been following your channel for a while. Your content speak so much to me and to where I am in life and it is unique in how it doesn't try to sell me any idealistic philosophies but rather just share genuine thoughts. From my heart, a deep thank you 🙏
currently alone, no gf, no kids, living in a studio, my career is good. Discovered someone I saw as a friend gossips and is critical of me behind my back, I have stopped association. Left a nagging, ungrateful, ill tempered, ill attitude gf. "Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome partner". Working on my spirituality, have become more grateful, simplistic, in touch with nature, exercise daily and have better sleep.
I’m currently in a bad state of mind with a sh!t load of stress. Been suffering with bad insomnia for 2 months now :(
Right on- I’m right behind you.
"In solitude we find the strength we thought we needed from others"
The entire video was good but that final line was particularly valuable, and precisely the sort of maxim that one of the ancient stoics might have produced.
Thank you, Einzelganger.
Einzelganger's best video. It is wonderful.
Our community has been traumatized and disconnected 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary] ❤
The more you're able to be alone, the more at Peace you are with yourself.
If you're alone, without distractions, you have to face yourself head-on, no escape, no rescue.
Kinda learned that the hard way. Even though, after being better now, a very well-learned treat.
The weird thing is walking in a bustling city with millions of other people almost gives me the same inner peace as walking alone in the woods. However, small towns and villages where everyone knows each other, that's hell for me :D
I took this option several years ago and would never go back. My leisure time is all mine and I don’t need to discuss anything. Pure bliss!
I`ve lived most of my life alone. I don`t feel lonely. Solitude is sweet.
I’ve loved all this work for a while. Pulled me through some tough times and helped changed my perspective. I appreciate this channel to the moon and back.
Much needed video😢
Our community has been traumatized and disconnected 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary] ❤
As the author stated, the balance is important!
Thanks for the video!
I dislike how people frame those who want to be alone, e.g. in relationships, as being selfish or immature. Maybe not total and permanent isolation, but everyone needs some space and alone time for a healthy balance
You cannot be selfish if you are alone. There is no one to be selfish to. Selfishness is a social construct, related to others. You can be alone and generous to others. Solitude doesn't imply hating others either. I wish the best to others, help them when I can, and return to my solitude when I'm done.
People who are critical of being alone are AFRAID of being alone.
Extremely true. I’m going through the transfer right now. I just sold my restaurant do to health issues with myself and my brother. Less people. Less problems. Thank you for making this video. I needed to hear this. 🙏
"For in solitude, we find the strength we thought we needed from others" 12:37
Beautiful and True
Yes but I find that the less interaction I have with people the harder it is to assimilate when I have to for various reasons.
@@Earthtime3978 everyone's life is different, I suggest you follow your heart
@@RhynaX ones heart doesn’t always give the right answer.
@Earthtime3978 it might seem wrong at the moment but ultimately it'll be the right decision I believe, for our heart is smarter than the mind so we don't even know why it's feeling the way it is
@@RhynaXI’ve followed my heart and it left me broke a few times.
Sit in nature and observe it: you will never feel alone
John Muir said, something like, I go to the wilderness to find my soul, and to lose my mind.
I know this channel serves its purpose and it used to bring me such comfort. But the truth is after 14 years of spending most of my time alone I've come realise the harm it's done to me. People always let you down, but I expect that and still find I have more fun doing pretty much nothing with somebody I like than doing anything at all on my own. A conversation is more fun to me than reading is nowadays. I'd rather talk about music than actually listen to it. Everything from deep conservations to mindless chatter, as long as it flows and there is rhythm, it's just intoixacting to me now.
Being alone and at peace at the same time is a luxury into this planet
For me, solitude is a place of harmony that gives me strength to achieve my goals.
I work and study and have to deal with various type of people but in the end of the day i can always return to my fortress of solitude.
I do socialize with people but on my own terms because my inner thoughts and private life in general belongs only to me and it's my choice whether I deicide to share it or not.
I agree - I can get into a nice state flow in solitude, where personal growth happens ; then when I get an upsetting email, involving someone I know from my past, or some family interaction, its can throw me off balance for days.
Thanks E. I took a month off of my routine. A busy time on the farm. I'm greatful you are with me again as I do springtime in dixieland. Here's to spring 🐣
If Im around the right people and can fully be myself, I really enjoy my socializing. Ive come to realize being alone is the only thing I can do to fully recharge from socializing and be able to clearly think. Im a singer-songwriter. So having as much alone time as possible is very important to me to focus on my writing, recording, and live performances. Remember people. Being alone doesnt mean you're lonely. I can feel lonely in a crowd of people especially when everyone is on their dumb-phones. Being a musician is the perfect lifestyle for me bc I can be alone in the middle of nowhere working on my music, then when Im performing, I get tons of socializing in whether its through playing in front of people or schmoozing after the performance.
This was one of my top 3 videos from you man. WOW. Hit home, right in soul this one ❤️ 💯
Thank you for creating.
I thoroughly enjoy being with people, in a limited capacity. When I attend a social event or gathering, I immerse myself in the experience. I seek out not only those people I know well, but also those I may have only met once before, and I enjoy meeting new people. But if I had to guess the ratio of time with people versus time spent alone where I am most comfortable, I would place it somewhere at 90/10 or 95/5 with the larger number representing time alone. I don't find being with people draining, as I actually feel invigorated to some degree being with other people. What I experience is that I am quickly satiated being with people, and once I leave a social event, I have no desire to socialize again for quite some time. Sort of, "Ok, that was fun! I'm good now."
Nowadays, I'm living with the motto: "If the price to pay to be with someone is lose peace, it is too expensive. Thanks, I'm ok alone"
It's a mixed bag for me. I've been hurt time & time again by society, so i feel bitter & I've retreated from it. At the same time, I could socialize & take part again but I just don't want to.
It's nice to have the independence and freedom of not needing other people to make me happy. Me + Nature in combination is more than enough to be able to do that.
Give me a beautiful landscape/sunset over a beautiful person any day of the week. The former doesn't go about judging & controlling you, whereas the latter more often than not does...if not initially, eventually...
Guys just remember: Whenever you feel lonely, just put your own life into perspective/comparison. I mean you could be blind your whole life so you wish to be able to see. You could be starving somewhere on this planet so you wish to have something to eat. As long as your own fate is better than others, there is no reason to complain.
-> Are you more or less healthy? If yes, there you go. That alone is a reason to be perfectly happy, since not everyone is healthy. We can't have everything and a perfect life only exists in fairytales so just focus on the things YOU do have compared to others and value them accordingly.
Oki yes😮
You lost me at faith. Buddhism is about seeing things as they are, not as we wish as in faith. There is no faith in Buddhism.
@@Wayne10160 Thanks, totally missed that. Obviously I meant 'fate'.
As someone who has lived alone and “has no friends” for 3 years, I’m doing great. No depression or anxiety, no gf or screaming kids, just me and the world. I like it this way because I don’t feel the pressure of having to fake things or opinions that would get me hate. We are so caught up in worrying about what others think, especially today where you always have to have an opinion about every topic.
Being alone is beautiful if you do it right, and in no way harmful like society makes it out to be. And I don’t struggle at all socialising with others as I had a wonderful discussion with my co-worker yesterday. I always think “Is this conversation going to be worth it? Will it be meaningful and long or short and sweet? Do I have the energy to expend to converse?” Is what I ask myself if I feel ready to talk. Sometimes I don’t feel like I want to talk, so instead of forcing myself I either say “I don’t like to share my opinions” or “I’d rather not talk about that” instead of ignoring the person. They end up liking me for some reason. So yes, being alone is pretty nice.
I made it a habit to never tell my friends, relatives and other loved ones that "I like to be alone" instead I tell them that "I like to be for myself" - to me that fits more to the essence of what I feel: I love people, I love sharing my time, my love and meaningful conversations with them. And at the same time I couldn't imagine my life without having frequent retreats. It's a deep seated need for me.
I am happy and grateful that many people around me respect this need: As a child, I was allowed to withdraw from groups when it became too much for me. My partner is happy to join in when I want to look after my friends' children - and he is happy with the fact that I don't want children of my own.
That doesn't mean there aren't any challenges: My parents were often worried that I wasn't integrating enough. And it's difficult for my partner to accept that I want to rent a small apartment next to the apartment we share, where I can be on my own every now and then.
But in the end, I believe that we are all there for each other. And compromises are also good solutions for me.
Lots of love and greetings from Germany, btw 🙂
I find being alone a good thing because I don't have to deal with toxicity.
When I had friends I always seemed to always disappoint them. No matter what I did to be good for them. I always end up disappointing them. I give up.
Can't disappoint anyone if I'm alone.
Please keep making such videos...
These videos are so close to my heart.. the way you put them together... It's like a portal to my own world.