@@ZeppelinBigFan i don’t think i have laughed harder at a movie review than kermode’s fred the movie review Ahhhh!!! flibbbitt AHhhh!!! mute him out that and film socialisme
I saw this with my girlfriend. She LOVED it. Somewhere in my heart, I KNEW it was the beginning of the end of our relationship. I am happy to elaborate...
***** It's one of her favourite films. She can watch it anytime and it really cheers up. It didn't cheer me up. I don't mind the predictability and frothiness of it. However, I didn't laugh once - it was just too saccharine. Then there were two bits that I actually found a little unpleasant; the first was when she intimates she wants a baby and he goes "whuh?" (and ensuing plan to buy a dog to try and avoid a grown up conversation about having children) and then when he meets his friend and he starts hitting on the girls because he has a dog. Both really weird and leery scenes that (I believe) attempt to imply this is a man's default setting. We didn't get to the end. She turned it off as I had really hurt her feelings after I (unforgivably) kept talking and criticising it all the way through. Awkward silence followed. Early night. Beginning of the end.
Tweed Echidna Great comment! Differences in movies should by default determine if a relationship will work or not. However, I have to disagree somewhat. Yes the Owen Wilson character is an asshole but I always thought that was the point. Marley and Me is about unstable, immature adults slowly maturing over time, with Marley as the glue that holds Owen Wilson's life together. It's not a perfect movie, far from it! But I for the most part liked Marley and Me. Congrats on escaping a bad relationship good sir!
Whether it's 'Marley and Me' or 'I' depends entirely on the context. For example, Marley and I made a shit film together' or 'Mark Kermode doesn't like Marley and me'. That's why I take Kermode's advice on films and not grammar.
Listened to the podcast in work yesterday and nearly died laughing at this rant. It had been a while since he really let loose at a crappy film, and I even thought he was mellowing out. The best rant in a long long time! :-)
"Shouldn't it be Marley and I?" They are so fucking British. I love it so much. I believe he referred to this afterwards as the movie that is in fact less fun than actually putting your dog down.
Pretty much everyone in my film class said they cried at this film, and that "anyone who doesn't has no heart". This film has no heart. It's a vile and disgusting pool of poison.
I agree with everything he said, but I still sobbed at the end of the movie and now that movie really is my guilty pleasure go to. I hate it, but I find myself drawn to it when hung over.
Aniston is the biggest one trick pony in the business. Shes played the same character in every movie since friends and theres more of the same to come. she sud go back to a US tv show that gets canceled after season 1 like all the rest these days
I'm 21, still living at home, and that's a home that has always had at least one dog as long as I've lived there with one break of 1 or 2 years between two of them, and I got through the book okay, but the movie was worthless. Having a dog doesn't play so much into it as just having plain bad taste in movies. As Kermode says, if you love dogs, be with your dog, take it for a walk, don't pay to see Marley and Me. Possibly read the book, it's not half as painful.
@sirheavyhitter When using the phrases "X and I" or "X and me", simply cut out "X" and form the rest of the sentence to see if "I" or "Me" is necessary. So if I were to say "I am tired" then it would be "X and I are tired". If I were to say "That belongs to me" it would be "That belongs to X and me".
I enjoyed the movie alot althou that might have something to do with the fact that as a kid i had a white lab who's death was very similiar to marley's, as a result i didn't find it too sickly and everything, i guess if you don't relate to it then i could see why it would have been too much.
Ha ha I also thought of the number 23! I'd be more scared of letters running out really (well ... not scared at all!), but there's only 26 letters, in English anyway, an array of symbols, but an infinite amount of numbers! To Mr Wage, I say, When you are scared of numbers running out look towards pi, for it simply won't end!
I know I should hate this film but I just can’t. Although I did feel the need to watch Dead Man’s Shoes or some other gritty ‘the world is hell and life is pointless’ type movie afterwards. Turning and turning on the widening gyre...
@sirheavyhitter It depends on the context. Your example "You and I need to sort this out." is grammatically correct but if you said "This needs to be sorted out by you and I." that would be grammatically incorrect. If you are the subject then it is "me" and if not it is "I".The trick is to take out the other person (or dog in this case) and see if it makes sense.
Kurt Cobain's guitar playing is the sound of someone with terrible digestive cramps. Owen Wilson plays the guitar in those sofa ads that make me feel sick. Coincidence?
@@bloodorange6713 absolutely. Nirvana sounds brilliant. That queasy gut sound is an artistic choice, and they more than pull it off. I was just making a silly joke about Kurt Cobain's general nausea, and my specific nausea when I saw those stupid sofa ads.
This is my favourite kermode rant- beats dark of the moon and sex and the city 2. Absolute gold. However I will give dark of the moon, as that had a non verbal kermode uncut of him banging his head against a well for three minutes straight
Today was the first day that I ever seen this movie. By far the saddest movie I've ever seen. However I loved the movie but the ending was so sad. I actually cried real tears lol my boyfriend thought it was so funny
The thing is though, a lot of critics liked this film, including Roger Ebert. Kermodes definitely right about it in a lot of ways though. It's somewhat touching at the end but it's pretty corny for the most part.
Mark seems to be forgetting that the "I have a Ph.D. in Nuclear Physics" line was actually uttered by the Denise Richards character, Christmas Jones (yes that is the character's name), in the (hideous Pierce Brosnan) James Bond film The World is not Enough. It became a "jump the shark" meme after that for the obvious laugh-out-loud stupidity of it. Also, Mark, Owen has a TEXAS ACCENT. Mark is doing a vaguely New York accent so it sounds nothing like Owen Wilson, if that was indeed his goal.
Really disappointing when Mark sits on the fence like this
he said he hated it at the end.
@@wb8905 It's called sarcasm
10 years later and I’m still laughing my ass off at this review. Thanks Mark.
"I like dogs, I hated Marley and Me - maybe I just don't like people!"
There's a sentiment to live a life by.
Mark, your Pythonesque rendition of an American accent is the greatest thing I've ever heard. Absolutely hilarious 😂
Haha yeah Pythonesque indeed
.
mark kermode’s press note voice is like the rob schneider trailer narration from south park
Simon Mayo: "Oh, you're not going to read the whole thing out are you?"....Mark Kermode:(still talking).Simon Mayo:"Oh,You are!".
This is one of the best reviews ever. Not just Kermode, but just... ever.
Okay, this is the first time I've laughed at one of Mayo's comments.
"I know that what comes with dogs is good and... you know, and..."
"Evil?"
Go watch the Fifty Shades of Grey review. Mayo made me crack up about, "he being the bbc bdsm"
I love the review for Fred: the Movie:
"You are no longer a broadcasting legend!"
@@ZeppelinBigFan i don’t think i have laughed harder at a movie review than kermode’s fred the movie review Ahhhh!!! flibbbitt AHhhh!!! mute him out
that and film socialisme
@@raisedonpopcornwithgrant9670 check out his Jared Leto impression in his review of House of Gucci. 🤣
I saw this with my girlfriend. She LOVED it. Somewhere in my heart, I KNEW it was the beginning of the end of our relationship. I am happy to elaborate...
***** It's one of her favourite films. She can watch it anytime and it really cheers up. It didn't cheer me up. I don't mind the predictability and frothiness of it. However, I didn't laugh once - it was just too saccharine. Then there were two bits that I actually found a little unpleasant; the first was when she intimates she wants a baby and he goes "whuh?" (and ensuing plan to buy a dog to try and avoid a grown up conversation about having children) and then when he meets his friend and he starts hitting on the girls because he has a dog. Both really weird and leery scenes that (I believe) attempt to imply this is a man's default setting. We didn't get to the end. She turned it off as I had really hurt her feelings after I (unforgivably) kept talking and criticising it all the way through. Awkward silence followed. Early night. Beginning of the end.
Tweed Echidna hilarious!
Tweed Echidna Great comment! Differences in movies should by default determine if a relationship will work or not. However, I have to disagree somewhat. Yes the Owen Wilson character is an asshole but I always thought that was the point. Marley and Me is about unstable, immature adults slowly maturing over time, with Marley as the glue that holds Owen Wilson's life together. It's not a perfect movie, far from it! But I for the most part liked Marley and Me.
Congrats on escaping a bad relationship good sir!
Tweed Echidna Haha... don't elaborate.
+Tweed Echidna the eternal opposition between pessimism and optimism.
Mark just nails the American synopsis voice over :P
"He can't have puppies."
"Why?"
"Because the vet speaks sternly to him."
LOL
H
the american accent kills me.
"Maybe i just don't like people"
Your not alone Mark.
+Onmysheet that attitude is one of the things that's wrong with the world.
loonycushion Maybe for some people the "world" is the problem.
Whether it's 'Marley and Me' or 'I' depends entirely on the context. For example, Marley and I made a shit film together' or 'Mark Kermode doesn't like Marley and me'. That's why I take Kermode's advice on films and not grammar.
Bob Marley review brought me here. Oh boi, what an experience. Top notch rant.
This is the Kermode I need in my life
"It's the sound of being sick in a cup", awesome review =D
That review is way funnier than any comedy film Mark has talked about ...hahahaha!
"How far would you go for a friend?"
Also the tagline for 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days, a Romanian film about abortion.
I love when Mark goes on his rants
Owen Wilson and Jennifer Anniston with their wide range of acting
"You haven't got emotion in real life, so here's a plastic thing to look after." HA! Awesome.
Listened to the podcast in work yesterday and nearly died laughing at this rant. It had been a while since he really let loose at a crappy film, and I even thought he was mellowing out.
The best rant in a long long time! :-)
"Shouldn't it be Marley and I?"
They are so fucking British. I love it so much. I believe he referred to this afterwards as the movie that is in fact less fun than actually putting your dog down.
"it should be Marley and... NOTHING"
Now that's a film I want to see. Directed by Werner Herzog 😜
Pretty much everyone in my film class said they cried at this film, and that "anyone who doesn't has no heart". This film has no heart. It's a vile and disgusting pool of poison.
The movie was poison are you for real? And you are what's wrong with the world
HaloDieHard
People need to stop telling other people that they're everything that's wrong with the world. It's a silly cliché.
really i was more involved in the dog and read the book its not oscar winning but it does have something a dog who wins me over 😣
"It should be Marley and nobody" should be on the poster.
This is the funniest review i have seen Mark do :)
I agree with everything he said, but I still sobbed at the end of the movie and now that movie really is my guilty pleasure go to. I hate it, but I find myself drawn to it when hung over.
best kermode line: 'it's not just poop, it's grammatically incorrect poop' gotta love it
Oh Jesus its been 12 years since this review came out 0.0
Regardless of the movie, this is the most exuberantly hilarious Kermodean ever.
Why do people always have a go at Mayo? He's a good presenter
He's a great presenter, but his reviews aren't great
He interrupts far too much
But by far a better salad dressing.
Matt W he’s a great presenter.
Clearly I’m too sentimental, I cried.
yes. you are.
"I love dogs. I know that what comes with dogs is good and.... you know... and--"
"Evil?"
LOL
I just watched this then 'Martyrs'. Gotta love consistency.
I live for these rants. Can we have less viewer emails and more of this please?
Wow,my dear departed Mom used to quote that and Walt Kellys' famous Pogo line,"We have met the enemy and he is us".Thanks for the memory!
0:50 - That's exactly what I was thinking too Simon!
One of the funniest hachette job reviews I've ever seen.
I haven't seen the movie but instinctively I could have guessed everything he says in the review. It's an Aniston movie
Jennifer Anderson's face is the visual definition of television :D
Aniston is the biggest one trick pony in the business. Shes played the same character in every movie since friends and theres more of the same to come. she sud go back to a US tv show that gets canceled after season 1 like all the rest these days
He starts off as Carl Sagan and ends up as Loyd Grossman.
Now I know what British people hear when Americans try to imitate their accents.
Thank god there are still people out there who bash rubbish like marley & me.
Richard E Grant needs to do a remake of this movie, called "Withnail & Me" 😜
this rant is up there with the potc3 rant that mark did, bloody hilarious
Keep pressing 4 for a journey of laughs
mwhaha
I bet Friday is The Knowing
Nick Cage. Bound to get a glowing review!
CAN'T WAIT!! XD
Kermode: I'M A DOG LOVER!!!!
Mayo: Sorry i mentioned it
Hahahaha this man is amazing
"Marley and Me' is grammatically sound, by the way.
Whereas 'Withnail and I' isn't!
watched this directly after the movie and I was so glad Im not alone lmao
hahaha i love british cynicism so much, the venom in that 4:00 hate
I'm 21, still living at home, and that's a home that has always had at least one dog as long as I've lived there with one break of 1 or 2 years between two of them, and I got through the book okay, but the movie was worthless. Having a dog doesn't play so much into it as just having plain bad taste in movies. As Kermode says, if you love dogs, be with your dog, take it for a walk, don't pay to see Marley and Me. Possibly read the book, it's not half as painful.
it made me cry
@sirheavyhitter When using the phrases "X and I" or "X and me", simply cut out "X" and form the rest of the sentence to see if "I" or "Me" is necessary. So if I were to say "I am tired" then it would be "X and I are tired". If I were to say "That belongs to me" it would be "That belongs to X and me".
Why does Kermodes American accent always sound a bit like Carl Sagan?
Great stuff
this review is amazing
I enjoyed the movie alot althou that might have something to do with the fact that as a kid i had a white lab who's death was very similiar to marley's, as a result i didn't find it too sickly and everything, i guess if you don't relate to it then i could see why it would have been too much.
@Raymint i havent seen it either
@sirheavyhitter I might have got my subjects and my objects mixed up but the point remains!
Normal voice is fine. lol
"I love humanity. It's people I can't stand" Linus, from "Peanuts".
Jonathan Swift!
the dog dies
Ha ha I also thought of the number 23!
I'd be more scared of letters running out really (well ... not scared at all!), but there's only 26 letters, in English anyway, an array of symbols, but an infinite amount of numbers!
To Mr Wage, I say, When you are scared of numbers running out look towards pi, for it simply won't end!
yeah critics should totally not exist at all
"You're not telling us the truth, you're telling us your opinion.........." Love Simon
How could he possibly read every book thats adapted for the screen? If he's gonna miss out on reading anything, I'm glad its this tripe
I know I should hate this film but I just can’t. Although I did feel the need to watch Dead Man’s Shoes or some other gritty ‘the world is hell and life is pointless’ type movie afterwards.
Turning and turning on the widening gyre...
Just because everyone has an equal right to hold an opinion, does not mean every opinion held is equally right.
"A Boy and His Dog" with Don Johnson.
i agree...
K: "i've got dogs, i love dogs, i know that what comes with dogs is good and.."
S: "evil?"
ye sounds about right
4:15 said it all
Why do they trash Courage Under Fire? That's a great movie!
@sirheavyhitter It depends on the context. Your example "You and I need to sort this out." is grammatically correct but if you said "This needs to be sorted out by you and I." that would be grammatically incorrect. If you are the subject then it is "me" and if not it is "I".The trick is to take out the other person (or dog in this case) and see if it makes sense.
@toocoolcat Outstanding comment! :)
I just realized that Owen Wilson and Kurt Cobain have the exact same voice
plus they both have 4-letter first names, and 6-letter surnames...omg.
Kurt Cobain's guitar playing is the sound of someone with terrible digestive cramps.
Owen Wilson plays the guitar in those sofa ads that make me feel sick.
Coincidence?
@@bloodorange6713 absolutely. Nirvana sounds brilliant. That queasy gut sound is an artistic choice, and they more than pull it off.
I was just making a silly joke about Kurt Cobain's general nausea, and my specific nausea when I saw those stupid sofa ads.
Bet they've never been seen in the same room together.
HAH! great review
Never had I cried watching a film before. Marley and Me made me cry buckets.
This is my favourite kermode rant- beats dark of the moon and sex and the city 2. Absolute gold.
However I will give dark of the moon, as that had a non verbal kermode uncut of him banging his head against a well for three minutes straight
Today was the first day that I ever seen this movie. By far the saddest movie I've ever seen. However I loved the movie but the ending was so sad. I actually cried real tears lol my boyfriend thought it was so funny
You should watch Schindler's List.
"Maybe I just don't like people!"
Mayo’s dryness 😭
Well, I liked it.
5:28
"They have this HRRitating life"
dang
@TheHappydead But has puppies, right? And I haven't even seen the film.
@terratrema Alright.
Who dosen't love "Love Story"
0:54 Mark does a brilliant Old Gregg impression.
The thing is though, a lot of critics liked this film, including Roger Ebert. Kermodes definitely right about it in a lot of ways though. It's somewhat touching at the end but it's pretty corny for the most part.
@toocoolcat so 3/5?
Mark seems to be forgetting that the "I have a Ph.D. in Nuclear Physics" line was actually uttered by the Denise Richards character, Christmas Jones (yes that is the character's name), in the (hideous Pierce Brosnan) James Bond film The World is not Enough. It became a "jump the shark" meme after that for the obvious laugh-out-loud stupidity of it. Also, Mark, Owen has a TEXAS ACCENT. Mark is doing a vaguely New York accent so it sounds nothing like Owen Wilson, if that was indeed his goal.
I wanted to add that I love me some Mark rants. This one is probably my favorite. It is beautiful.
He was trying to do the typical cheesy American voiceover voice
Hilarious
I like the bit where the dog dies. It means the film is over
I LOVE THIS MOVIE BUT...kermode still made me laugh.