The "Slow Suic*de" Epidemic Nobody Talks About

แชร์
ฝัง
  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 2.1K

  • @KingofDefiance
    @KingofDefiance หลายเดือนก่อน +2240

    Personal experience: Had a suicide attempt and my family advised me to go to the hospital because of it…worst. Decision. Ever. I was stuck in a room with basic amenities (bed, bolted tv, sink and bathroom), I was also placed next to another mentally unstable person whom screamed the “n” word for 5 hours straight. I couldn’t leave the room for 48 hours, as there were guards posted outside my door. If it sounds like I was in prison, you wouldn’t be far off. Oh yea, then I got a bill for $10,000 like a month later, I had to go through hell to get them to exempt me from it. If I wasn’t suicidal before I damn sure was after that lol.

    • @saltiestsiren
      @saltiestsiren หลายเดือนก่อน +91

      I went to 5 different hospitals as a teen and a young adult and had decent experiences so there is definitely a mix of good and bad. Comments like these are what prevents people from getting help. They kill people. Because you know what? You're alive. At least you lived. Plenty of people who read stories like this and got too scared are not.

    • @Dolritto
      @Dolritto หลายเดือนก่อน +125

      I got for psychosis, also got worse. This places are horrible, I'm sorry that You got to be in this situation.

    • @vivvy_0
      @vivvy_0 หลายเดือนก่อน +295

      ​@@saltiestsirenWell done, just silence and invalidate another persons experience. That's what I call nuance 🤪
      Only the best wishes to the OP for your path of healing 🌱

    • @KingofDefiance
      @KingofDefiance หลายเดือนก่อน +174

      @@saltiestsiren so you’re saying I shouldn’t have contributed my life experience because someone may be deterred from pursuing help in this way? Meh perhaps

    • @unrealmagic6519
      @unrealmagic6519 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

      America

  • @sainterasmus4545
    @sainterasmus4545 หลายเดือนก่อน +3272

    I love how the "suicide hotline"-version of my country is portrayed underneath the video, with a telephone number, but everytime I've tried calling them they never answer. Makes you feel like the entire country is so suicidal that the line is constantly in use. More than likely they're just not a big enough team though. Bless them.

    • @TrebleCat
      @TrebleCat หลายเดือนก่อน +196

      I got through to mine but my experience was the woman on the line just parroting what I was saying. Like wth?

    • @Poetry4Peace
      @Poetry4Peace หลายเดือนก่อน

      Fr uks was bad i just wanted to hear someone they cut the call after 10mins rushing me off eh​@@TrebleCat

    • @topy706
      @topy706 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Just talk to a therapist ai. Its often the same or even better. Nobody on those phones can help you anyway ​@@TrebleCat

    • @Geagra
      @Geagra หลายเดือนก่อน +285

      I got blacklisted because i was having manic episode and whoever was at the call just fed up and banned me for life. All the other hotlines basically there to say with robotic voice to “hang in there, try calling us later”

    • @Poetry4Peace
      @Poetry4Peace หลายเดือนก่อน +29

      @@Geagra lol my comment got removed whttt heckk

  • @Vanity0666
    @Vanity0666 หลายเดือนก่อน +6037

    Born too early to collect a universal basic income, born too late to expect security in the job market, born just in time to experience manmade horrors beyond my comprehension.

    • @DCornwell-d2t
      @DCornwell-d2t หลายเดือนก่อน +339

      EVERY generation has had manmade horrors

    • @geneticallykashmiri
      @geneticallykashmiri หลายเดือนก่อน +24

      real

    • @hmpf
      @hmpf หลายเดือนก่อน +66

      Name checks out

    • @luxceleste
      @luxceleste หลายเดือนก่อน +116

      every generation has each own struggles and horrors

    • @kevingalt6658
      @kevingalt6658 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Vanity0666 If you're in the West, you have less exposure to manmade horrors than basically any generation throughout human history...

  • @Wynaro
    @Wynaro หลายเดือนก่อน +866

    "You wont be able to find this organically" If the youtube algorithm is simultaneously suppressing this and suggesting it to me, should I be concerned?

    • @mavince
      @mavince หลายเดือนก่อน +39

      lol same 😳

    • @GuysWithFries
      @GuysWithFries หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      Me fr❗️

    • @azul4904
      @azul4904 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

      no, you shouldn’t.

    • @flamelight7177
      @flamelight7177 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      sameee

    • @natearchuleta2003
      @natearchuleta2003 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

      I woke up and saw this on the "front page" of my TH-cam app. Pleased but also concerned for sure lol.

  • @adolfotux
    @adolfotux หลายเดือนก่อน +177

    Wow, "if i sleep and don't wake up, it's not a big deal" this hit really hard, i had this thought several times in the past few month

  • @illumistration
    @illumistration หลายเดือนก่อน +2511

    "I don't think I have passive suicidality"
    5 minutes in:
    oh okay so I definitely do

    • @subject8776
      @subject8776 หลายเดือนก่อน +88

      The comment about the meteor made me realize I have that. Because I thought this 1:1 verbatim.

    • @matheussanthiago9685
      @matheussanthiago9685 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      Relatable tbh

    • @Simon1si
      @Simon1si หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      @@subject8776 same

    • @Warponator
      @Warponator หลายเดือนก่อน

      yeah, same

    • @adnan7698
      @adnan7698 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@subject8776 and it's shakin'

  • @Szombra1
    @Szombra1 หลายเดือนก่อน +370

    Time Marks
    7:07 Topic Begin
    12:03 Active Suicidality
    14:15 Passive Suicidality
    22:25 Reddit Post
    24:59 How people develop passive suicidality
    27:23 Hope (Agency and Road Map)
    33:25 Story reflecting agency
    41:40 Anhedonia (related to Agency)
    57:49 Turning negatives into positives
    1:03:21 Scan for positives
    1:10:44 Road Map, fullfilment, having few/lot of goals
    1:29:42 QA Fear of Commitment
    1:41:25 QA Rewarding yourself
    1:44:31 QA Multiple goals
    1:46:23 Proudness and lack of time and second reddit post
    1:56:16 Start today
    2:05:50 Summarise
    2:16:06 QA Dopamine switch
    2:19:00 DrK wants to travel (dont know if time is correct)
    2:25:14 Ending

    • @robertcollins4663
      @robertcollins4663 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      @@Szombra1 Thank you!

    • @Looming_ewe
      @Looming_ewe หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Thanks so much!

    • @oskartu12
      @oskartu12 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      You are the goat and i hope u know that

    • @JoshwaLaw
      @JoshwaLaw หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Thanks 🙏 you're a top G. I was looking for the summary so i could write it down on actual paper lol and this makes it easy lol thanks again 🙏

    • @ecokrazy
      @ecokrazy 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      You're doing God's work. All the best to you

  • @tirushone6446
    @tirushone6446 หลายเดือนก่อน +1446

    "hitting the skip forward buttom on life until something happens."
    is so me

    • @matheussanthiago9685
      @matheussanthiago9685 หลายเดือนก่อน +40

      Is that an Adam Sandler's Click reference?

    • @tirushone6446
      @tirushone6446 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      @@matheussanthiago9685 sorry to dissapoint you but I don't know who that is 🤣

    • @DxCwashere
      @DxCwashere หลายเดือนก่อน +47

      @@tirushone6446 It’s a film where the plot revolves around a guy who finds a TV remote that can fast forward time in real life. It’s very fitting because in the film, the main character uses it to skip forward the trials and tribulations of life, oblivious to the fact that skipping time is the very reason why he exists in the ‘downward trend’ Dr K mentions.

    • @jonathanperreault4503
      @jonathanperreault4503 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

      @@DxCwashere its not a reference to the movie ... the movie is a reference to life

    • @vivvy_0
      @vivvy_0 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Real life sims 😂

  • @kupotenshi
    @kupotenshi หลายเดือนก่อน +345

    Taking your own life is the ultimate act of agency. It makes sense that people who feel powerless in life would fantasize about it, even if they have no plans to do it.

    • @bunsenn5064
      @bunsenn5064 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

      True, it is sort of the quintessential act of control. But at the same time, it’s a loss, since that act of control is no longer theirs. When you die, there is no longer a ‘you’, so in some ways, they will have spent their entire existence with no control, because they never gave themselves a chance to find control.

    • @Randi-n4s
      @Randi-n4s 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Accurate...

    • @chocobrowniewin
      @chocobrowniewin 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      We never had the chance to choose to be, so it's not a bad thing to fantasize about choosing not to.
      In a way it's empowering. Makes you consider what makes it worth it to get up in the morning and continue. Me, it is organising people and events. Making things so smoothly run that you don't know I had to spend hours planning it. I hate hearing about my job from people, if you know about it then I have failed. I don't know if I dislike interacting with people... I am too chatty online tho.

    • @inoshishi8
      @inoshishi8 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      My BFF was near death's door in 2014 due to a suicide attempt. She was found from a family member. In 2019, she developed the most severe form of alcoholism. She has MDD, BPD, and CPTSD. She's passively suicidal 24/7 and has ran to alcohol because she gave up attempting her life in 2017. So, she's tried to numb everything since. She's constantly in emotional turmoil esp since the medicalSystem in USA has rapidly declined in the past few years. She's fought her way through all year with so many physical symptoms that no one can figure out since Feb 2024. She's back at being directly suicidal again, on the brink of relapsing on alcohol- I KNOW these patterns as an outside witness. But ERs, many Drs offices, and most psych wards have drastically traumatized her so much worse severely that it caused her new psychiatric symptoms last year that she's never had her entire 41 years of existence. She used to reach out for help and even voluntarily went to a psych hospital in the past until around 2018 as 2017 was extremely traumatic for her.

    • @kupotenshi
      @kupotenshi 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      @@inoshishi8 Yes, the psych wards in America treat their patients worse than criminals. Mental healthcare in this country is a joke. I'm sorry she's going through all this, and I hope she can recover outside of the system.

  • @diane7193
    @diane7193 หลายเดือนก่อน +394

    Thank you, for this video.
    I'm 70 we recently had our 2nd tragic suicide in my apt. building this last year. One man jumped from his 11th story apt. window. The other man stepped in front of a train. Both of them were known to be suicide risks. But their risk of suicide wasn't considered serious enough to intervene.

    • @sorubro2193
      @sorubro2193 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      I hope you are feeling well sir

    • @shamukhi9258
      @shamukhi9258 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@sorubro2193 madam*

    • @UnlimitedEmeralds
      @UnlimitedEmeralds หลายเดือนก่อน +21

      I’ve never understood why people have the audacity to shame suicidal people into living. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a reason to not do it that didn’t involve the feelings of other people. Imagine being told your only purpose in life is to make other people happy and you are illogical for not wanting to be alive. Ah yes because the world we live in is so humane. Forcing your loved one into a hospital against their will also isn’t a solution. If someone is gonna do it, they’re gonna do it, and nobody has the right to stop them.

    • @threecheeseburrito
      @threecheeseburrito หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      @@UnlimitedEmeralds i have friends who have wanted to, and still do. I can't talk them out of it, but it's their choice and if that's what they want, then I'm here for them until the end. They're still here. They may not actually want to when it comes down to it, but they definitely want to be heard. It's depressing to think about, but by allowing them the choice and supporting their decision is somehow more beneficial than telling them straight up "no, other people's feelings are more important than yours".
      Given the context, people overlook it because it's someone taking their own life. But it's not your choice to keep someone from taking their own life. All you can do is support them and hope that whatever choice they make, it brings them happiness. Sometimes that's all they really need.

    • @Vincisomething
      @Vincisomething หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@UnlimitedEmeraldsat least physical force won't help

  • @The_LightArrow
    @The_LightArrow หลายเดือนก่อน +1208

    Its kinda makes sense, you price a generation out of buying a house, you price them out of having a family, dating is a nightmare, the economy is in the crapper, people call you evil for existing and telling you that youre the problem.
    At a certain point you become apathetic toward everything and just let it go

    • @j0e3o77
      @j0e3o77 หลายเดือนก่อน +85

      Exactly.
      The mental and emotional well being of the collective are frankly irrelevant to society and the systems in which they operate.
      As long as you’re mostly able to contribute to the machine and generate profits for the top percent of the population, your individuality, problems, needs and desires do not matter.
      Even when it’s been statistically proven in many ways that what you said is indeed correct, it is much easier for most individuals who have attained and experienced these normal milestones in life to shift blame to other types of individuals who may not have had as favorable circumstances and opportunities as deficient.
      Also, I personally believe the whole “You’re the problem” statement is a bit of an oversimplification and dismissal of the actual concerning factors that have created these issues for the majority of younger generations attempting to experience more of normal adulthood but are struggling.
      I’m not stating we have hand outs, but a lot of accountability must be taken by our government, older generations and many systemic institutions that have all had a contributing role into creating these present day issues.
      How likely that is at least in my humble opinion, will probably remain in speculation.
      However, that is the only way we can start to work toward a viable solution to most of these issues we face today.

    • @Polyfron
      @Polyfron หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      Did you even watch the video? The whole point is that we depend on outside circumstances for our purpose, motivation and pleasure too much.

    • @loulalala_user
      @loulalala_user หลายเดือนก่อน +32

      don't forget that the world is currently burning !!

    • @justinland1208
      @justinland1208 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      By design

    • @Level_Eleven
      @Level_Eleven หลายเดือนก่อน +22

      ⁠@@Polyfron Did you even read the final sentence in the OP? He’s basically saying the same thing, just in a more negative light.

  • @sneakybean
    @sneakybean หลายเดือนก่อน +183

    Trying to stay positive each day is very taxing. I feel like everything around us, the fabric of our entire society, is built on greed and corruption. There are individuals like Dr. K who actually care about helping people, but broadly speaking every industry revolves around making as much profit as possible while providing as little as possible to consumers to put more money into shareholder pockets. The rich continue getting richer while working class people struggle to afford basic healthcare. I would love to go to therapy but i don't have hundreds of extra dollars per month to spend.

    • @nathanielcah7039
      @nathanielcah7039 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I know how you feel brother, ive been having similar feelings and thoughts, it's definitely harder to live a "normal" life now and enjoy the things that older generations were able to. I've lost hope many times in my own life in finding what career I should pursue, and dealing with severe health problems at only 21. The best thing I can say to you is find God, Jesus Christ is God, he is real and he loves you. I know this might sound cliche but the truth of the bible is undeniable. Just say a quick prayer to God like "God im not sure if your real but I pray you reveal yourself to me". If you genuinely mean that he will show himself in unexpected ways. I'm praying for you, God bless !

    • @lilacfields
      @lilacfields หลายเดือนก่อน

      all i can think about is how all this stuff is made up. the economy, money, “ownership” is all fake. there are people buying up properties not to live in, but just to turn a profit. grocery prices skyrocketing because the owners at the top decided to do it without any care about the 99%’s livelihood. it’s such bs and i feel like the US is even worse about this. wanna pack up and move countries one day maybe that’ll change things

    • @popcultureprogrammer2171
      @popcultureprogrammer2171 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@nathanielcah7039 so that’s where your hope came from

    • @Jackson_dot_exe
      @Jackson_dot_exe 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Howdy. I know this comment is weeks old now but I wanted to add something that didn’t end in “find Jesus”. Hope is extremely fickle when it’s not constant in your life. Hope comes from those around you bettering each other’s lives but it also comes from your beliefs. I truly believe that humanity has great capacity to overcome our challenges and so I have to grab my hope from that. If you believe the world is and will only be a dark place then it will be impossible to have hope when there’s no one else there to show you otherwise.

  • @darkeather2
    @darkeather2 หลายเดือนก่อน +369

    Or not even a complete absense of desire to live, but a functional absense. I want to do something... but no clue what. Guess Ill keep on living till i find out or die, cause im too scared to make an active attempt at dying.

    • @DCornwell-d2t
      @DCornwell-d2t หลายเดือนก่อน +53

      This is totally the video for you. I'm at the functional deficit like you. At work, I give 110% and have no problem with motivation. My lack of motivation starts when I get home. Wasn't like this until about 5 years ago.

    • @kiranearitachi
      @kiranearitachi หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      @DCornwell-d2t this has been me for the last year get home want to play a game but don't want to at the same time

    • @koraegi
      @koraegi หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      ​@kiranearitachi get home after a hard day of work
      You been planning on being productive after work but the moment you get home you open up a game and stare at the main menu for 3 hours before saying fuck it
      Going to bed
      And repeat
      Idk why I said you
      It me

    • @kiranearitachi
      @kiranearitachi หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@koraegi me as well

    • @Apchoooh
      @Apchoooh หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @koraegi I had the same problem, trying to manage work and studying at a university at the same time. I was coming home from work and was laying in bed doomscrolling for a few hours, instead of studying.
      Ended up ditching the whole university thing and feel better for it (although not immediately). And suddenly I have a little time to work on my personal goals.

  • @Wit-tq8pj
    @Wit-tq8pj หลายเดือนก่อน +310

    L youtube for restricting talking about real problems in our society.

    • @mepphin
      @mepphin หลายเดือนก่อน +31

      Normal youtube L

    • @dains6623
      @dains6623 หลายเดือนก่อน +36

      @@Wit-tq8pj can't have productive conversations on the Internet these days without something getting in the way

    • @bumblebeegamerreal
      @bumblebeegamerreal หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      @@dains6623 Yeah, and the internet is polarized in some parts. Its like as if they force you to agree.

    • @scrittle
      @scrittle หลายเดือนก่อน

      Can't link or mention sources in fear it'll trip TH-cam's spam filter and delete my replies/ghost comments. Can't be specific, must keep things vague - it's the TH-cam way.

    • @ShadowSkyX
      @ShadowSkyX หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      And "naughty" words. Can't curse or else, demonetized!

  • @marinanathanson4940
    @marinanathanson4940 หลายเดือนก่อน +562

    This time dr K actually said whats wrong with me. Its this feeling of sadness, which even therapy can not deal with. I was telling myself long time ago to focus on positivity, and actually it helped me for some time. But as we live we change. We tend to forget some important lessons. It was a great reminder. Thank you dr K.

    • @Sibyltec
      @Sibyltec หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      yeah I'm exactly the same way and I knew this about myself just doctors won't listen used to survive on ketamine infusions but insurance doesn't cover and parents stopped paying for them now I started to self harm and actively try and put myself under risk of death (like running on the edge of the subway by the moving train) in hopes it will end quicker

    • @Sibyltec
      @Sibyltec หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      not to mention I recently found out I had untreated Lyme's disease for many years and that explains my chronic fatigue which made all of this way worse

    • @Goldenfish-o5p
      @Goldenfish-o5p หลายเดือนก่อน

      The King of The Universe can help ye

    • @blue-dark
      @blue-dark หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@Sibyltec i hope it gets better for you man

    • @Sibyltec
      @Sibyltec 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@blue-dark Thanks. I'm currently going through Herxheimer's reaction because treating Lyme's. I sometimes feel better for a few hours, and sometimes I can barely move. Emotionally I have severe mood swings from depression to hope and back but I'm at home and safe and not harming myself right now. I'm really scared the antibiotics won't be enough to kill the Lyme's because I know I can't deal with this stuff for any longer. Appreciate your comment.

  • @oksanarose6879
    @oksanarose6879 หลายเดือนก่อน +691

    Hi Dr. K. When I was suicidal in 2021, I listened to your educational stream on suicide many times whenever I was feeling horrible at work. It was comforting to me to hear a person talk about suicide in a rational and reasonable way. It made me feel so much less alone to listen to a lecture on suicide that didn’t emphasize how scary or wrong or sad suicide was. It made me feel like I wasn’t fucked up. My life got better since, and now it’s harder again, but this channel is always here for me to make me feel less alone. The content you make, especially the long form interviews and lectures, have helped me unimaginably. It continues to help me. Thank you.

    • @oksanarose6879
      @oksanarose6879 หลายเดือนก่อน

      1:44:34

    • @benjamingomez1761
      @benjamingomez1761 หลายเดือนก่อน +32

      Im glad you stayed

    • @tex959
      @tex959 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      Thanks for the positive feedback.

    • @acht467
      @acht467 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      My eyes watered a bit. You are alone and im alone too.
      Lets goo

    • @hrishikeshmanoj5916
      @hrishikeshmanoj5916 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      ​@@acht467 In it together brother

  • @CraftingMom64
    @CraftingMom64 หลายเดือนก่อน +609

    What about us old people who had to take care of older people? Like, my parents generation wanted to live to 100. Mine made it to 89 & 85. They were miserable and I am completely burned out at 60. Burnout is real. My labor was exploited and I was thrown away.

    • @randomstuff2665
      @randomstuff2665 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      Did they truly exploit you?

    • @CraftingMom64
      @CraftingMom64 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@randomstuff2665 Gaslighting 101, Play stupid games, WIN stupid prizes!!! Here's Yer Sign!!!

    • @Dom-zy1qy
      @Dom-zy1qy หลายเดือนก่อน +67

      I had that experience recently, or rather, I observed how awful it is to have a loved one's health slowly decline, until they eventually pass away. Everyone in the family does everything they can, and it can lead to so many arguments and pain for everyone.
      I'm 21, and this happened to my grandfather. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through, and I wasn't even a primary caretaker. Even just imagining that happen to my parents scares me. I think what you did is very worthy of praise 🙂

    • @brushstroke3733
      @brushstroke3733 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I am just starting this with my mom. She's 77 and has chronic sharp and burning pain in her left leg and bad short term memory loss. She's fast losing the ability to organize herself and already depends on others to help her get groceries or go to doctors appointments.
      It's only been like this for about two years and already I am frustrated, disappointed and exhausted. Sometimes I drop out of contact for weeks or even months when I just can't handle it, which pushes the burden onto my older brother who lived across the country and onto some of her friends. They're all frustrated with me and exhausted themselves.
      On top of it all, the medical system is more of a burden than a help these days.
      My greatest fear is that what happened to you will happen to me. I'll give up the next ten to fifteen years of my life being a caregiver and just end up totally depleted.
      Anyway, I'm sorry for what you went through and hope you can have at least twenty good, meaningful years of joyful living ahead of you now.

    • @DCornwell-d2t
      @DCornwell-d2t หลายเดือนก่อน +28

      Amazing thing to take care of the people you love. I hope that you can now take care of yourself with the love that you deserve

  • @Dnd-Versatility
    @Dnd-Versatility หลายเดือนก่อน +321

    A poem I wrote on this topic:
    I don't think anyone wants to die.
    But sometimes, you don't want to keep living.
    You don't want to keep giving, when you have nothing left to give.
    I don't think anyone wants to die.
    Sometimes you just want the pain to quit..
    You want the voices to be quiet.. soft whispers turn to a riot and you ask yourself is this it??
    Have you ever felt the quiet hit...
    Like I wish someone would take my skin away, pulverize this boney cage that forces me to stay,
    Like it can be so hard to say, I don't want to live this way..
    I just want to fade away..
    I don't think, anyone wants to die..
    But I don't think, everyone wants to try..
    If you ever tried to explain to someone how trying can feel like dying because you're fighting to live but you're so far away from winning...
    Every day is a new beginning..
    But if I must watch myself fail on repeat, never missing a beat where I don't feel alone, unwanted, unseen. I don't think you know where I've been.
    I'm somewhere between hoping and giving up. Never able to make the voices stop. I'm far beyond the good things you've seen. Because when I fool you, and you believe that I can cope... then maybe you'll stay here, to give me hope... But behind this mask I'm dying to escape, I'm trying to wait, because I don't think anyone wants to die...
    But sometimes... I just don't want to keep living.

    • @alexbistagne1713
      @alexbistagne1713 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      neat!

    • @ballerina3483
      @ballerina3483 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Wow

    • @SArthur221
      @SArthur221 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      i'd say the obvious answer is to quit giving. especially to the wrong people. 100% agree with you!

    • @neurodiver_gents
      @neurodiver_gents หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Dnd-Versatility beautiful

    • @aikuisviihteenarkkipiispa8602
      @aikuisviihteenarkkipiispa8602 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      beautiful, can I share this?

  • @firesandflowers
    @firesandflowers หลายเดือนก่อน +490

    I was passively suicidal from about ages 15-20. Once at college, I obtained "a plan" and it was my crutch for a long time. I had a kind instructor who recognized I wasn't doing well and took the time to walk me to the therapists office on campus after class. I got therapy & on antidepressants for a few years. Just turned 39 yesterday and my life is pretty great. I don't have much money and I could be healthier... but I've got a husband who loves me, a cat, a fulfilling job, a house (messy asf, but it's home and it's *mine*). I resonated with a lot of your solutions. 💯

    • @aisnow5788
      @aisnow5788 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      What is your job? I want a fulfilling job.

    • @nvr5490
      @nvr5490 หลายเดือนก่อน +29

      Honestly, having a fullfilling job, a loving husband and a messy home is the most wonderful gift a woman can be gifted with in this world. And a cat.
      Where there is a clean home, there is no loving husband there.

    • @Koroar
      @Koroar หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Yeah as long as you're a woman life always works out

    • @Poetry4Peace
      @Poetry4Peace หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      ​@@Koroarlmao.. yh i don't think a guy would be walked to such help tbf

    • @firesandflowers
      @firesandflowers หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@aisnow5788 I work at a community college in student services - it's a remote job which is nice. It's a hard job to summarize, but I mostly answer the phone/emails and help people get enrolled in college (I also help with financial aid, registration, program info, etc). It's never boring, I feel like I'm actually helping people, it's not too stressful, my coworkers/supervisor are great and the pay is decent.

  • @eebbaa5560
    @eebbaa5560 หลายเดือนก่อน +1574

    “slow suicide” sounds like something that applies to me. i’m probably never going to actually do the deed, but everything i do in my life actively harms me or my future in some way and i always feel like it’s just a matter of time before i set myself back in ways that i can’t come back from.

    • @rongike
      @rongike หลายเดือนก่อน +44

      release pride and choose a simple and quiet life if the proud life sounds too difficult.

    • @SemekiIzuio
      @SemekiIzuio หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Eh at least is not as bad has invasive ideation suicidal thought 🤷‍♀️

    • @Tailionis
      @Tailionis หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Get a dog

    • @tempesttossed6029
      @tempesttossed6029 หลายเดือนก่อน +91

      ​@@rongike For me it has nothing to do with pride, but lack of opportunity or resources.

    • @tempesttossed6029
      @tempesttossed6029 หลายเดือนก่อน +125

      ​@@SemekiIzuio It is incredibly insensitive to compare one type of pain to another. All pain is bad.

  • @KS0102
    @KS0102 หลายเดือนก่อน +187

    I think the older generation passed down too many expectations on the younger generation and that you are a loser if you dont surpass those expectations.. The Boomers were brought up in an era of plenty and they assumed that it will always be there for the younger generations. Now the younger generations live in a constant state of anxiety about unmet needs.

    • @accidentalmadness1708
      @accidentalmadness1708 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      No my own generation has shit on me repeatably and never hesitates to remind me how much of a failure I am.

    • @Teney1994
      @Teney1994 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      My parents may have had expectations, never explicitly passed them on, never showed anything more than what would be really helpful. Still turned out bad.
      The thing is, what you have said fits on to my friend, but not me.
      This is why what you wrote needs the word "some", because not all people fit your bill.
      What went wrong with every last generation is that we don't get taught how to educate your children. Almost everyone gets them, barely anyone knows how to raise them.
      Not many people make music or draw when they are older, yet we draw and make music in school.
      This is what is fucked up.
      We are being kept stupid. I am no genius for seeing that any school system is fucked up.
      Start educating yourself about education and management to make the next generation better.

    • @ShadowSkyX
      @ShadowSkyX หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Blaming the older generation is shifting blame; you just don't want to take accountability or responsibility for your own actions. Its sucks but every generation leaves baggage for the next. Whining about it or ignoring it will not make the problems go away, otherwise they'll bite us way harder in the ass later and be a more expensive issue to fix, assuming it can be.

    • @DCornwell-d2t
      @DCornwell-d2t 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Older generations worked their as__s off to give their kids more than what they had. It seems as though some generations have forgotten that and seem ungrateful and now ultimately entitled.

    • @Your100percentrightbut
      @Your100percentrightbut 17 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      @@DCornwell-d2t If it was hard for them, it’s harder for us.

  • @phoenixsong38
    @phoenixsong38 หลายเดือนก่อน +128

    Hey dr, K. I am one of those people who rarely comments on any sort of TH-cam video but i do want to say that i appreciate your videos and mention that i am grateful for the content that you are putting out for the people. It feels like someone is truly putting effort into improving humanity! Thank you and I hope to see a lot more from you soo!

    • @surotto4321
      @surotto4321 หลายเดือนก่อน

      that wasn’t as deep as i was expecting it to be for someone who rarely comments.

  • @evalexander2001
    @evalexander2001 หลายเดือนก่อน +56

    I quit my job earlier this year because my burnout and depression was spiraling so bad out of control. Ever since then I’ve been talking to doctors and taking meds and applied to literally hundreds of jobs, just to get rejected hundreds of times. Now I have people in my friends and family calling me lazy. I’m ready to give up and leave this place fr, but I don’t have the balls. Instead I’ll just waste away my days applying to jobs that will never get to back to me and playing video games. I used to be so happy.

    • @churribo
      @churribo หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      We have so many barriers working against us, especially economically and regarding general wellness in the face of the expectations placed on us.
      I'm sorry your family and friends don't seem to prioritize your happiness over your productiveness.
      I truly believe that we deserve happiness over any type of contribution to society. I always think to myself that if people can be absolute wastes of space and still be happy, I deserve to have that too, as a baseline. If people can be absolute trash humans and still "make it" far, I deserve to at least be at least mediocre and relatively happy.
      I'm glad you're here.

    • @Tecolote41
      @Tecolote41 20 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Relatable

    • @mintyhippo8125
      @mintyhippo8125 20 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I would suggest joining local clubs or activities that interest you to get your spark back. You can do little tasks like reading books on the stuff that you loved as a kid/student. You will be like, “oh yeah! That’s why I loved ___, and I still do!”
      Life sometimes really grinds the hope, love, and joy out of you. Especially when you are stuck at work doing projects that are meaningless or way more hassle than necessary.
      Having a job is of course important, but so is revamping and shifting to actually like the life you’re living.
      I was so upset by people calling me lazy, but after not being at a job that completely drained me, I have way more time and mental energy for the things I actually love and care about.

    • @joegrizzly999
      @joegrizzly999 17 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Don’t judge yourself based on your past because time changes things nothing will stay the same. You now won’t be you 5 years from now don’t stop trying because change will come. It may take a while so don’t expect it to be right in front of you just keep pushing for it and learn to be happy where you’re at life itself is an amazing experience and the good wouldn’t be good without the bad. It sucks/it’s hard I know but the struggle can be worth it.

    • @LoveHestia_
      @LoveHestia_ 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I feel the exact same way, have for quite a few years totally understand

  • @CptMerdaille
    @CptMerdaille หลายเดือนก่อน +229

    I'm inclined to think that passive suicidality for AuDHD and many neurodivergent folks isn't a calculation based on the future.
    My executive dysfunction is so bad that the future never comes into play most of the time Now and then has always been suffering so can't even begin to compute that the future might be better; even if by all rational calculation it will actually improve. I can't hope because executive dysfunction is an inability to act on our agency, even if it is right there.

    • @Qdot543
      @Qdot543 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@CptMerdaille this has been my experience.
      I’ve had this sort of depression described in the stream most of my life, and the reason has always been obvious to me, “no amount of action on my part will get me closer to my goals” while other NTs just seem to coast. Talking to people about my depression was always confusing because they have had validating experiences in their life that provides them with a sense of agency. Even if they loose the agency they know they experienced it one day in their life.
      Also being neurodivergent, you tend to ruminate a lot so have more awareness of the hill to climb.
      Despite this, there are absolutely things that can be done if you’re neurodivergent, and yes, it will be incredibly harder than most people realise, so don’t let their lack of understanding deter you.

    • @Vincisomething
      @Vincisomething หลายเดือนก่อน +17

      Maybe that explains me. I just can't see things getting better because of where i am now and what led to it. No amount of hopeful talk, "it gets better", or " past doesn't always dictate the future/future is unexpected" is convincing anymore because as far as I know, it could always get worse or never change my efforts. It's like it would be better for me not to hope or think things will get better instead of having the hope and being disappointed in the future. It's like the hope and optimism I had all ran out and I can't trust it anymore.
      And someone is probably going to bring up "mindset" or "self-fulfilling prophecy" but it already feels like no matter my mindset or effort, I'll never have the life I want and all the disappointments in my life were just hinting to that. For example, past romantic failures aren't "lessons until i meet the one" but a sign that I'll never have that because no one can connect with me on a level i need/there's something fundamentally wrong with me that makes romantic connections impossible.

    • @callmecharlie4250
      @callmecharlie4250 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      I'm at the point where I don't expect things to get better, but I know that there will be things happening in the future that I'm too curious about to miss. billions of years of mysteries before me that I'll never know and billions more beyond my future. I only get the smallest peek at this universe and I want to see as much of it as I can.

    • @bi131kon
      @bi131kon หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Yeah… Same here. It sucks.

    • @carljthatsme94
      @carljthatsme94 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      It's strange because on the other side it can be fleeting moments of impulsivity. Like "It is so hard i have to do it" and you approach it but thankfully your brain gets distracted.

  • @AethelraedTheReady
    @AethelraedTheReady หลายเดือนก่อน +634

    Announcements begin at 2:08
    Topic begins at 7:07

    • @betagamma18
      @betagamma18 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

      thank you 🙏

    • @Subird
      @Subird หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Thanks!

    • @ronaktripathi6332
      @ronaktripathi6332 หลายเดือนก่อน +30

      Summary at 2:07:15

    • @chrispychicken9614
      @chrispychicken9614 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      King

    • @lsid7901
      @lsid7901 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      god bless you

  • @rizwanzaman1793
    @rizwanzaman1793 หลายเดือนก่อน +114

    10:30 I found it organically btw, showed up on my recommended, and I'm glad it did, thanks Dr. K

    • @christianesposito7453
      @christianesposito7453 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @rizwanzaman1793 showed up in my feed, never watched his videos before. Says something loud

    • @eligeddes1808
      @eligeddes1808 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Same

  • @JohnathanFallSeasonGuy
    @JohnathanFallSeasonGuy หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    I remember talking to someone about why people around the world aren’t having kids as much as they used to, and I think it boils down to this topic exactly, beyond the financial situation, people of this generation have no hope, our parents felt completely invincible at our age, today people the same age have absolutely no hope for a better tomorrow.

  • @KrazeeCain
    @KrazeeCain หลายเดือนก่อน +63

    TH-cam did recommend this to me on the front page, but prompted me with a warning I had to click through before watching the video (not subscribed either).

  • @LilMizRandom09
    @LilMizRandom09 หลายเดือนก่อน +203

    I almost left last year. The only reason I didn't was because when I glanced at the speedometer, I didn't feel I was going fast enough to guarantee a quick exit. I sure as hell didn't want to live with the consequences of failing it. Now it just feels like I'm just moving forward seeing if it becomes worth not doing it. So far things are good, but it's going to take a lot to make it worth going through the pain I went through last year. I relate a lot to this video. Thanks for putting out what you do. At the very least, I like knowing what's going on with me

    • @xaviercr92
      @xaviercr92 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      Glad you’re still here! Life is not easy, but I commend you for continuing on, and just want you to know the world is better for it 🤞🏿

    • @EARTOEARTOEARTOEAR
      @EARTOEARTOEARTOEAR หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Why do you feel you have to "make it worth it"? Reality as is right now is as is regardless of narative. No need to turn in into worth/not worth, good/bad etc.
      Is carrying the burden of debt worth it?
      Wanted to share. Anyway, glad things seem alright for now! :)

    • @tempesttossed6029
      @tempesttossed6029 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​​@@EARTOEARTOEARTOEARThat is just how it is. If something hurt so terribly that you wanted to "leave" but chose not to out of sense of hope things will get better, then you want confirmation some day that your choice was right, that the pain was just a temporary hurdle to something better. I have this now. My life is comfortable, my SO is the best person in the world and I am lucky to know them. This life right now is so beautiful to me that I can look at the place I was and say "that was ok, because this is worth it all."

    • @empressryuumi
      @empressryuumi หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      "Now it just feels like I'm just moving forward seeing if it becomes worth not doing it." Damn, spot on.

    • @TheYoutubeMethod
      @TheYoutubeMethod หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@EARTOEARTOEARTOEARWhat you mean debt? can you expand on that

  • @anakinruiz9193
    @anakinruiz9193 หลายเดือนก่อน +181

    Dr. K. I think you might just save me man. Appreciate you. Words can't give this enough weight. Thank you.

    • @mistypfitzer111
      @mistypfitzer111 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Theres only ONE person who can ACTUALLY save you, & thats Jesus Christ 😊 🙌❤️ All u gotta do is seek Him...

    • @federicoromano158
      @federicoromano158 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

      I hope you will be in a better place soon. Don't ever give up

    • @MISNM0
      @MISNM0 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      ​@@mistypfitzer111
      You are out of pocket with this. So
      Stop.

    • @D87943
      @D87943 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@MISNM0How’s it a problem?

    • @user-qv2lo2qu7e
      @user-qv2lo2qu7e หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      ​@@D87943You know, I have a lot of respect for Christians but holy shit are they out of touch. Can't count how many times I've been told that every problem, every negative emotion, every inconvenience you have will disappear if you believe in Christ. Spoiler alert, it won't.

  • @fafdaafggh9548
    @fafdaafggh9548 หลายเดือนก่อน +29

    Most people who are called "resilient" tends to be ostracized that they are not good at living their lives to the fullest. The truth is they are just contented on what little they have. I think this is one of the lessons that I have learned this video.

  • @bobherget7676
    @bobherget7676 หลายเดือนก่อน +124

    I'm not a gamer, so I don't know how this man came into my radar, but he is the least bullshitty professional doctor that I've ever had the pleasure to encounter.
    He calls things as they are, not with some fucking lofty, unattainable ideals that no one except maybe the most gifted of us are capable of attaining.
    Of concern to me is the huge number of videos that he puts out.
    Some YT producers seem to post content as a means of increasing revenue.
    I don't see that being the case with Dr. K.
    I hope that he's not on a fast road to burnout for himself.
    In the meantime, I look forward to more of Dr. K.
    Cheers to all.

    • @steggopotamus
      @steggopotamus หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      He's talked about having subclinical adhd and having a passion for helping people because he doesn't see anyone else doing it. So, you're seeing the effects of passion, combined with some adhd hyperfocus on their passion (so I don't think he's particularly at risk of burning out on that front). It's also combined with the ADHD/enthusiastic tendency to not finish up the projects necessarily well. Which results in some sloppy ways of phrasing and vetting things sometimes. (So because the quality of work suffers that also lightens his load a little).
      He gets excited has an idea, finds some research, but doesn't necessarily give those ideas time to be reviewed, so his terms can undermine some of his goals. personally, I think it's still a net benefit, because he's getting a lot of guys in particular to think critically about their mental health, which is is the most important part, and his work is overall great with just some small grievances here and there, that he addresses later on as needed.
      I just think the channel would do better if he gave his content time to be reviewed by a PR person who has a strong familiarity/interest in mental health. And that would help him table some videos until the thoughts have had more time to gestate in his mind. His content would slow down a little the quality would improve a little and he wouldn't get so many negative comments, which would help him not burn out.

    • @bobherget7676
      @bobherget7676 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @steggopotamus I appreciate your thoughtful response to me.
      Thank you, and cheers to you.

    • @bobherget7676
      @bobherget7676 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

      I like that he speaks, largely unscripted, from his heart.
      As a 66 year old guy with life-long mental health issues, to me, his heartfelt style of presentation is very refreshing to hear.

  • @anindowmohsin1886
    @anindowmohsin1886 หลายเดือนก่อน +86

    If life is so meaningful why does it feel so meaningless? Like I genuinely don’t think I’ll ever be ok. Just going to try to maintain. For what?

    • @E4439Qv5
      @E4439Qv5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      The "feelings" are the lie perpetuated by the subconscious.

    • @chihirostargazer6573
      @chihirostargazer6573 หลายเดือนก่อน +38

      It seems meaningless due to human greed. Everything in our society is based on money...and that was a terrible idea, because often the best people don't have enough and the worst people have more than they could ever need.

    • @WockMonkey
      @WockMonkey หลายเดือนก่อน

      Because life objectively doesnt mean anything. The reason why anything has any meaning at all is because we (humans) have the capability to assess whats happening and assign meaning to it. A wolf isnt thinking about what it means to kill a parent bunny or somthing it is driven by the primal instinct of “if i dont eat ill die so i should eat something that cant eat me” its humanity that adds all the extra shit. Not that thats going to answer your question but its food for thought i guess. Thats kind of what he was trying to say with the removing negative vs adding positive ways of therapy like you have the ability to assign whatever meaning you want to the things that happen to you so he is saying to train your brain to see things in a balanced or “bittersweet” way. Its seeing things as “man that was overall pretty shit but there was some juice in there” vs “man that was fucking awful lets never do that again”

    • @Jimmy0123459876
      @Jimmy0123459876 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Because our society is backwards in many ways.

    • @trappart9209
      @trappart9209 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      because of your worldview

  • @kenziedayne4234
    @kenziedayne4234 หลายเดือนก่อน +62

    I'm in my 50s. I've struggled with long bouts (lasting often several years at a time) of chronic depression. I've been at the bottom of that dark well of "no point, they'd be better off, no one cares", walking myself mentally through the steps and who would find me, even at several points giving away possessions to get things ready. I can't say I'm glad I haven't followed through. I have multiple autoimmune diseases now that make life harder than ever. But menopause has leveled out my hormones, existing is mostly tolerable, and I chose to believe in a deity. So now I just pray every day that God will take me when he's ready and until then I'm to try to do the best I can with what little I have. I don't know, it brings me a little comfort to think that. But yes, the thought of not being here anymore is with me daily. I'm tired in spirit and I look forward to going Home. I'm not sure why people generally think that's a bad thing. To me this whole thing called existence has been pretty shite since day one and I'm just tired of it.

    • @v9b23j
      @v9b23j หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      I am sorry you are suffering 🥺😥You wrote, "menopause has leveled out my hormones, existing is mostly tolerable" yet, as you may already know, depression and anxiety are among the most common symptoms reported by postmenopausal women. Have you considered hormone replacement therapy (HRT) if it's available in your country? Studies show that many women on HRT report feeling more energy and less severe symptoms caused by reduced levels of estrogen, progesterone and testosterone. Also, having someone close to you who can validate your feelings and experiences and hold space for you, whether it's a licensed counselor, a therapist, a coach, a family member, a friend, belonging to a community and/or volunteering increases oxytocin and can improve your mood. Please don't suffer alone. You aren't alone

    • @kenziedayne4234
      @kenziedayne4234 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@v9b23j I appreciate your reply. I was on HRT for many years starting in my mid 20s do to extremely low levels. It really helped. Then by my late 30s I had doctors refuse to renew the prescriptions and telling me they weren't allowed to prescribe it anymore because it increased breast cancer later on. As of last year I asked a new doctor if I could go back on because it had helped in the past. But he said no due to my blood pressure and heart condition. At this point my body and organs are starting to fall apart (Autoimmune). As for therapy... I've tried many times over the years and it never helped at all. Waste of time and money. Dr. K is the only therapist who has ever said things that were actionable and made sense. The others have always been they listen for 30 minutes, scribble notes and say time's up, see you next week. Useless.

    • @kenziedayne4234
      @kenziedayne4234 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@v9b23j My reply to this is gone. 😔

    • @brushstroke3733
      @brushstroke3733 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@kenziedayne4234TH-cam censorship of comments is so disheartening to us folk who look for a small semblance of community online.

    • @v9b23j
      @v9b23j หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@kenziedayne4234 Thank you for letting us know and I'm sorry it's gone ... 😥Sometimes if I give it a few days and post it again, it displays publicly You can also check your comment history.

  • @irodsalt6490
    @irodsalt6490 หลายเดือนก่อน +196

    I think socializing in general is just kind of dead. He mentioned no one going to class during his studies, it's worse in some places. At my college we'd go to class in person but never speak a word to each other. We'd see each other for 4 years and never know each other because no on talks ever

    • @MrBololicious
      @MrBololicious หลายเดือนก่อน +22

      It takes effort from both parties. It’s not dead, it just takes practice.. Try opening a conversation with something simple like a compliment, something about the class etc etc. Some of my best friendships from uni/graduate school started out like this. Best of luck

    • @XanniTheBlue
      @XanniTheBlue หลายเดือนก่อน +15

      @@MrBololiciousI actively try to start conversations. I’m 44 years old. Just through my own experience, I’ve definitely noticed it’s so much less socially acceptable to talk to a stranger now than it ever has been before. So many interactions are now seen as “unsanctioned” unless you’re in the same social circle or online club.
      Not talking to each other is the new politeness, because everyone understands how important the data is that comes thru their phones.

    • @MrBololicious
      @MrBololicious หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@XanniTheBlue I agree to a certain extent that it’s become less socially acceptable to talk to a a stranger - but hey, there’s people out there who prefer face to face communication! Don’t let it stop you from trying .. humans need these in-person connections.

    • @MrBololicious
      @MrBololicious หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      @@XanniTheBlue technology was a step forward in some aspects for our lives, and 10 steps backwards in others ..

    • @lilacfields
      @lilacfields หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@XanniTheBluemove to the south lol you’re weird if you don’t talk to strangers here

  • @saulothebebop2581
    @saulothebebop2581 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

    I remember back in 2020 when COVID was at it's peak a lot of people were posting things like "It all ends finally" or "take me sweet death". It was obviously made in a meme format but you know, it wasnt a joke.

  • @eksbocks9438
    @eksbocks9438 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

    Rejection is a very good way to describe it. Not just with work. But basically everything.
    And whenever we're going through something difficult: We are set aside.
    The only people who talk to us are the ones who don't like us. And they are always prioritized instead. Because they have "good vibes."

  • @ondrej1893
    @ondrej1893 หลายเดือนก่อน +73

    The most famous psychologist in my country that I also happened to have some lecture with killed himself. He was the most “put together/under control/calm in the storm” guy I have ever seen. All the girls had a crush since he was not only young medical psychology professor (48yo) but he also took great care of his body etc. and worked on many noble projects in medicine. He really had great aura and seemed like nothing could really phase him. It was truly a shock to hear. (His name was Radek Ptáček)

    • @marianpe5773
      @marianpe5773 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Interesting

    • @Remedy462
      @Remedy462 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Was he single?

    • @CreativeCreaturefx
      @CreativeCreaturefx หลายเดือนก่อน

      Was he attractive?

    • @cualter
      @cualter หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      ​@@Remedy462No. He was married with kids.

    • @accidentalmadness1708
      @accidentalmadness1708 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      As usual the people with everything going for them throw it away.

  • @icandreamstream
    @icandreamstream หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    This was INCREDIBLE. Seriously, thank you.

  • @KellyOShea6366
    @KellyOShea6366 หลายเดือนก่อน +120

    This is important to me. My beloved brother quit life in 2018. I miss him. I really do relate , I think about it every day. I do the Suicide Prevention Walks , going next Saturday. It's helpful. ❤️☘️

    • @tex959
      @tex959 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      Sorry for your loss. Stay strong!

    • @kylevondoyle
      @kylevondoyle หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      There’s plenty of support groups:)

    • @DS-bz4mz
      @DS-bz4mz หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      So sorry for what you had to go through. I'm glad you're engaging in the walks :)

    • @sageof6pandas233
      @sageof6pandas233 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      You are doing amazing, there are millions who have or will give up in your position, and you choose to keep going, good job

    • @MISNM0
      @MISNM0 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      ​@@kylevondoyleNOT a thoughtful reply

  • @bbqfire6199
    @bbqfire6199 หลายเดือนก่อน +34

    All societies collapse. Just sucks i have to be alive to witness it.

    • @jackwebb3757
      @jackwebb3757 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Doomer boy 3000

  • @PyxeledGenesis
    @PyxeledGenesis หลายเดือนก่อน +17

    A phrase that floats in my mind a lot is "we cannot afford aspirations". Because we can't, and at this rate we never will. The past 3 generations have been born into a world we have virtually no control over, and yet we're forced to sit and watch as the consequences of past generations drown us. The older folks in charge get to be evil and then die, and we can't do anything about it because the world as we know it is simply too far gone. Nobody wants to agree with anyone anymore so nothing ever gets done, we stew in all of our ancestry's bad choices and hope that our miniscule efforts will help, but they never do. There's no reason to be excited about life when my past, present and future is only pain.

  • @dilloncarter18
    @dilloncarter18 หลายเดือนก่อน +43

    This is the first time ive ever heard my experiences talked about and was unable to put it into words until now. This really hit home, thank you Dr. K the world needs you

  • @muditjain4024
    @muditjain4024 หลายเดือนก่อน +82

    man life just feels impossible to exist, im just trying to get fucked up enough to not think about it anymore or just exit it as the best case, im scared of substances, i have an addictive personality, ive seen addiction upclose, ive seen overdoses, its bad enough that those things seem tamer compared to my existence, idk what im gonna do, where im gonna end up, i just hope this ends one way or the other, its too exhausting to live like this, im loaning energy to continue from my future and sinking into deeper debts of misery and death

    • @ThePedroCrash
      @ThePedroCrash หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@muditjain4024 out of all of dr k's commentary section vents ive read so far, yours was the one that connected to me and the way im feeling exactly right now so deeply its almost supernatural :( stay safe my internet friend, you are not alone and i feel exactly this: going from high to high, trying to get fucked up just to escape but at the same time scared shitless bc i have a highly addictive person genetics (alcoholic father) and, well, experienced addiction before so yeah 100% im a potential addict for any drug out there

    • @nathanielcah7039
      @nathanielcah7039 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I know how you feel brother, ive been having similar feelings and thoughts, it's definitely harder to live a "normal" life now and enjoy the things that older generations were able to. I've lost hope many times in my own life in finding what career I should pursue, and dealing with severe health problems at only 21. The best thing I can say to you is find God, Jesus Christ is God, he is real and he loves you. I know this might sound cliche but the truth of the bible is undeniable. Just say a quick prayer to God like "God im not sure if your real but I pray you reveal yourself to me". If you genuinely mean that he will show himself in unexpected ways. I'm praying for you, God bless !

    • @Abxlthc.420
      @Abxlthc.420 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Psychedelics I've heard they help

    • @muditjain4024
      @muditjain4024 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Abxlthc.420 theyre illegal here, i dont know where or how to get them :(

  • @suzettelyons7533
    @suzettelyons7533 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

    I experience this. I now understand "Lying Flat" in China. Just realized it's the same thing.

    • @suzettelyons7533
      @suzettelyons7533 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Also this did just randomly pop up in my feed lol.

  • @micahtaylor1276
    @micahtaylor1276 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

    Pausing half way through to say that the algorithm did suggest this video despite the title, and to say it's helping me understand what's in my head. Thank you.

    • @ishish8816
      @ishish8816 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Same here, then again I’ve watched Dr. K vids in the past.

    • @DraconicSoilder667
      @DraconicSoilder667 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Same, I was subscribed, but this just happened to appear in my reccomended when I needed it most.

  • @ryankelly8428
    @ryankelly8428 หลายเดือนก่อน +88

    I don't know if I would say I was suicidal exactly... but For about 2 years I had very frequent thoughts, at least 50% of each week but probably more, that went something like, "Well, if things become too much for me to handle I can just end it all, and then I'll finally have peace." I haven't been out of that place for very long, maybe close to a year. I can still feel it creep up on me sometimes, but I've managed to change my thought process to, "Even if things get really bad, I can get through it. I know as long as I do my best and keep on going, things will get better and I will be okay." I wouldn't say I'm happy, but I have some small amount of hope, I'm vaguely content and things are slowly getting better. I'm making this comment before I got far in the video, so I hope it isn't too far off topic.

    • @benjaminjenkins2384
      @benjaminjenkins2384 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      My situation is very similar. We're still digging our way out, but I want you to know that I believe in you

    • @ryankelly8428
      @ryankelly8428 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      Thank you man, it means a lot. Keep your head up as well, I know it's rough. But keep going, take your time and don't beat yourself up. There will be people that try to rush you, don't let them. Do it at your own pace, just stay on track. Good luck, I know you can do it.

    • @reedy_9619
      @reedy_9619 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Eh. Kinda felt that way most of my life.
      At one point things were going better then I got back into that spiral because doing better made me wanna do stuff I couldn’t do because they would prevent me from upkeeping that situation.
      Same stuff happens to some extent when (which isn’t often) I manage to get good sleep. As soon as I stop feeling like shit I tend to stay up later than I should (then I’m screwed for at least a weak)

    • @aisnow5788
      @aisnow5788 หลายเดือนก่อน

      But things don't always get better or get better in time.

    • @ryankelly8428
      @ryankelly8428 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Not always, but if you give up or don't try they never will.

  • @NovaYash
    @NovaYash หลายเดือนก่อน +139

    Born mediocre and socially anxious. Honestly I am just on this planet for my mother. I would have uninstalled myself if I didn't care about her.

    • @DCornwell-d2t
      @DCornwell-d2t หลายเดือนก่อน +43

      Mediocre is normal. Social anxiety can be helped. You don't need to be the life of the party. You just have to be a decent,kind human. Sounds to me like you are. You love and care about someone - your mother. That's awesome.

    • @shamukhi9258
      @shamukhi9258 หลายเดือนก่อน

      At least u have a reason to live.

    • @chunellemariavictoriaespan8752
      @chunellemariavictoriaespan8752 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Same... I am only living for her but every once in a while, I tempt fate, doing things I know will kill me before I turn 30...

    • @affordablex4914
      @affordablex4914 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Bro you gotta go for the 100% completion run.

    • @Lilia·Liuu
      @Lilia·Liuu หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Then there's me. Born a 'gifted child' or 'smart kid' as others called it.
      They praised me, told me that I'm going to be successful, get a well paying job, ...
      I also was born in poor family, I love my parents though. I promised myself that I'll be successful, make them happy, ...
      You probably know where this were going when I am here and typing like this, I'm probably at my lowest.
      I hate being emo but it looks like I'm being one right now

  • @spine747
    @spine747 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    I'm 21 and I'm so stuck on life, I don't feel ready I feel lost and im listening to your podcasts to hopefully understand myself better

  • @anomieminalminds
    @anomieminalminds หลายเดือนก่อน +35

    Thanks for critically taking feedback in, and making a video about a topic that (although should not be addressed carelessly either) is often stigmatized, reduced and avoided, even in the medical and psychological field 💚

  • @dislikebutton1935
    @dislikebutton1935 หลายเดือนก่อน +24

    We finally have creators that are able to speak to us directly, clearly and intelligently and with lived experience. That TH-cam can’t find a way to at least promote or ideally support channels like HG is a shame. Congrats as always Doc 👏❤🙏

  • @hackerman3404
    @hackerman3404 หลายเดือนก่อน +165

    One of, if not the most important videos you've made Dr. K!
    Focus on peace, slow down, enjoy simple things. Treat your body and your room like a temple. Read Buddhist and Stoic texts. The answers to modern day problems are all found in the wisdom of the past.

    • @drbased2097
      @drbased2097 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      excellent way to phrase it, we must go back to the roots of our humanity and give up modern hedonism/consumerism

    • @Madchris8828
      @Madchris8828 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Stoic texts, Buddhist texts and a lot of ideals from old Christian texts all have golden information for living a better life.

    • @ewa11411
      @ewa11411 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I read bible and it works so much for me

    • @glupik1234
      @glupik1234 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      don't forget that ancient greek philosophers definition of happiness is purely intellectual one, and it was achievable only if you were privileged enough to be a philosopher, aka if you had slaves

    • @hackerman3404
      @hackerman3404 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@glupik1234 Read Marcus Aurelius's Meditations. Complete opposite of what you're saying and quite reminiscent of Buddhist ideals.

  • @arobotnamedbernard
    @arobotnamedbernard หลายเดือนก่อน +120

    I always hoped tomorrow was gonna get better but 15 years (im 30 now) later it never got better. I just accepted the cards life dealt me.

    • @gomiggang
      @gomiggang หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ​@@randomcompilations201books aren't gonna help. What this man needs is a safe space to talk about mens issues with no women or trolls.

    • @StygioGI
      @StygioGI หลายเดือนก่อน +30

      ⁠​⁠@@gomiggangi'm curious as to why you group women & trolls together here ?

    • @gomiggang
      @gomiggang หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      @StygioGI because women have no idea how lonely men are? And most of them would just laugh at the men? There's a reason why more than 1/4th of males 18+ has never approached a woman outside of dating apps...you know how many men could benefit just from being able to feel some kinda comradery instead of constant toxic bs that trolls and women like the spew. When's the last time a random woman said something nice to you? When was the last time you were berated by a woman by just existing? If you can't find those answers, then you have literally no idea what I'm talking about and probably won't, and that's a good thing.

    • @StygioGI
      @StygioGI หลายเดือนก่อน +35

      @@gomiggang In my experience I've had the best luck expressing my emotions w mostly women, can some women be horrible In those situations, of course. But you NEED to stop consuming so much media that just negatively portrays either sex, It's horrible for you and In result leads men to not wanna approach, and yes I've experienced this but quickly saw how it affected my interactions n thoughts on the other sex

    • @StygioGI
      @StygioGI หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      @@gomiggang We're biologically different , women may not understand male loneliness but I will never understand women loneliness either and I've seen the effect on my sister, It's not an issue that stems from women and I acknowledge you didn't say that, just want to get the point across

  • @groudongamer3178
    @groudongamer3178 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    I made an attempt a week and a half ago. I had fundamentally failed myself and my family. But they forgave me and now we're working to get my life back on track. My friends are some of the nicest people i know despite being restricted to online interaction. These people are the reason im still here. Otherwise I would have not been typing this. Because i have such a deep hatred of myself and the stupidity i indulged in when i was younger. I always appreciate the work you do Gg.

  • @lierraelyssdae6089
    @lierraelyssdae6089 หลายเดือนก่อน +196

    TH-cam needs to push content like this to the top

    • @SussyBaka-nx4ge
      @SussyBaka-nx4ge หลายเดือนก่อน +22

      Unfortunately they're suppressing it because advertisers don't like talking about low tier godding yourself

    • @edilee5909
      @edilee5909 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      I had this recommended, so I want to believe they are

    • @hyphz
      @hyphz หลายเดือนก่อน

      As a subscriber in the EU I can search for suicide. It gives a warning page but it performs the search.

    • @Hexanitrobenzene
      @Hexanitrobenzene หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@edilee5909
      Yeah, I also got this recommended. I'm subscribed, though, so maybe it's different.

    • @TheYoutubeMethod
      @TheYoutubeMethod หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@SussyBaka-nx4gewhat you mean?

  • @luukipuuk3537
    @luukipuuk3537 20 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    I study psychology, it’s insane to me just how competent you are. Your knowledge about motivation and everything surrounding it (which is basically your channel, motivating people.) is awe inspring. You talk very eloquently, very few uhh’s and uhm’s, and are very clearly getting your point across. A lot of cool metaphors and analogies (which I always tend to remember much easier) and mindblowing eye-openers, e.g.: “The goal of therapy is removing negative affect, but with the absence of positive affect, you’re shooting for neutral at best”
    Wow, just wow man. I think you’ve convinced me to want to be a motivational coach.

  • @geegeegee7
    @geegeegee7 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    Im crying. Its been months that I just dont feel any motivation in my life,i just wanted to become a rock. Not even my psychologist’s words gave me any help. This video just explained everything that is happening to my brain. Finally i have some light in how to turn these things around. Dr. K and team, i can’t thank you enough😢😢 And the fact that this is a FREE, not even a membership content? 😭 you guys are truly doing a hugee service to the world!

  • @chef7658
    @chef7658 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

    having a life does not seem appealing to me.
    But then again, masturbating, weed, tobacco and alcohol have me wanting to quit on life.
    i work every day only to be bored and addicted.
    I have no life, but i cannot imagine me enjoying having a life.
    ADHD on top of addiction.
    I fucked myself and I dont think I will do better. I have no power and am very afraid to seek help.

    • @sievert2008
      @sievert2008 27 วันที่ผ่านมา

      get another job. get two jobs. get so many jobs that the addictions can wait.

    • @chef7658
      @chef7658 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @@sievert2008 i hate working and I have nothing to spend money on to make me happy.
      other than drugs.

  • @mllhild
    @mllhild หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    Yes the Will To Live is lost since due to access to information the illusion of the world has popped like a balloon. There really isnt a achievable dream, there are no partners with any reason to be loyal to you, you are always watched, you arent needed, nobody smiles at you, and certainly not respected.

  • @junedug
    @junedug หลายเดือนก่อน +50

    This video is exactly what I needed right now. I feel like I'm waking up out of a years-long trance, where I had no agency and nothing to hope for and I just wanted time to pass. I'm trying so fucking hard to get myself out of this hole, and it feels impossible. Everything seems pointless in the exact way you described with cost vs reward, and it also feels like every time I finally have a plan to fix things, life throws me a curve ball that makes all of my work irrelevant.

    • @mistypfitzer111
      @mistypfitzer111 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Omg you just described me/my life TO. A. T. 👌💯😬😂🫂❤️🫶🥰 YOURE NOT ALONE!! 💯 😭

    • @reedy_9619
      @reedy_9619 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Exactly how I feel..
      Any time stuff gets better my brain throws in a « get fucked » card.

    • @katec9893
      @katec9893 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I relate a lot to your comment. Seeing how so many of us are struggling with similar issues at least we can conclude that we're not alone and this issues are in a lot of ways societal rather than personal.

    • @Ana-gq7ce
      @Ana-gq7ce หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@katec9893 exactly💛

  • @mikespike2099
    @mikespike2099 หลายเดือนก่อน +37

    Most days I wake up sad I did not die in my sleep … yes I have had therapy and take medication … it’s just something about this uncaring hyper capitalist world we live in that seems to be a living nightmare that I do not want to stick around for!

    • @chihirostargazer6573
      @chihirostargazer6573 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I'm sorry to hear that you feel that way, but I understand completely. This sick dystopian society is truly a nightmare. And the fact that so many people seem to be walking around oblivious makes it even harder.

    • @o-dreng8778
      @o-dreng8778 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      I feel the same a lot of the time. The world nowadays is a cold and cruel place. But we have the power to change it even if only a little bit. Maybe you could do something to fix it, at your level. Be kind to the people around you, adopt an animal from the shelter, buy a homeless person a coffee, talk to them, help a friend or family member in need... These small things matter and contribute to make the world a better place. I know it sounds cheesy, but it's true. Do one kind thing a day, even if it's just a small thing like smiling at the cashier or holding the door for your neighbor. It is something you can do and it will make you feel better... and you will begin to notice the kind things other people do for you...

  • @hansonel
    @hansonel หลายเดือนก่อน +26

    This stream on "slowicide" (as I call it) and the last on "I'm Screwed - Now What?" are helpful as someone struggling with depression and hopelessness about my own future. Learning that taking small action steps towards my goal (one goal at a time, not trying to do them all at the same time and becoming overwhelmed), aka Behavioral Activation, is one of the ways to start lifting depression along with disarming the "why bother, I'm just going fail again" thoughts that prevent me taking action. There's also layers of trauma/ childhood trauma which adds hopelessness. It's difficult to overcome but not impossible.

    • @E4439Qv5
      @E4439Qv5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Good game plan.

  • @Persona_
    @Persona_ หลายเดือนก่อน +26

    Literally the best mental health video I’ve ever seen.. thank you Dr K 🤝

  • @kairi99roxas
    @kairi99roxas หลายเดือนก่อน +64

    I have a spouse, a child, a job, a house, and I still would rather not wake up tomorrow...

    • @sisterfister7891
      @sisterfister7891 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      _Same._

    • @alexxx4434
      @alexxx4434 หลายเดือนก่อน +41

      If you have a child you have an obligation.

    • @kairi99roxas
      @kairi99roxas หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@alexxx4434 really? I had no idea

    • @kayla7777pop
      @kayla7777pop หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@alexxx4434 no shit alex.

    • @quackmemes5410
      @quackmemes5410 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Are you okay? If you are comfortable with sharing, what are your problems?

  • @keywolf23
    @keywolf23 หลายเดือนก่อน +48

    HealthyGamer team: It would be really helpful to get the sources of the papers that Dr. K shows in one place linked in the bio.

    • @mariafernandavillavargas5548
      @mariafernandavillavargas5548 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Agree

    • @justsomeguy-yd3yw
      @justsomeguy-yd3yw หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      I'm sure he would love to. The problem is, he only has access because he is a legitimate therapist. It often costs money (and normally lots of it) to be able to have access to the studies he's referencing.

    • @Debashmita-Misc-dd9sz
      @Debashmita-Misc-dd9sz หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      There is a citations section in his website. He doesn't refer to 1 paper but a bunch of papers at once

    • @virtualtools_3021
      @virtualtools_3021 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@justsomeguy-yd3yw he could list the DOIs then a site with a little bird can help acess them

  • @MrSanchez159
    @MrSanchez159 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

    passive ideation, yes I've known I've had that for a long time. no purpose, no desires, no goals, no real community, no family, going through the motions, and the idea of drifting off to nothing sounds way better. its not like anything you feel will matter because you wouldn't exist anymore. I've embraced some of the philosophies of Dostoevsky and Nietzsche, understanding life is suffering, and happiness is an emotion that comes and goes. its pulling feelings from the suffering like happiness and joy has helped with depression kind of. In my nihilism I've pulled sarcastic joy in seeing all the messed up things happening in society. But regardless if im motivated, or in good spirits, or whatever else optimistic people think. i dont think will shake my resolve that society will not recover. unless a seismic shift in governance, global pollution, and greed it will be a decent into colapse.

    • @brushstroke3733
      @brushstroke3733 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Does it help at all to realize that life and death are two sides of the same coin, that death is an inevitable part of life and acts to recycle materials and nutrients to new life? In other words that the demise of mankind and earth are both certain and just part of the lifecyle of the cosmos. So does it really matter when? I hope these questions help relieve some of the weight of worrying about the world. That doesn't mean nothing matters. It still does, but less absolutely.

    • @MrSanchez159
      @MrSanchez159 หลายเดือนก่อน

      well the whole idea is once you are gone its nothing, its the same consciousness you had before you were born. being recycled back into new life again dead doesn't matter. When i talk collapse its Fukushima still leaking radiation in the ocean to this day, its the pursuit of progress and to the point where no clean drinking water will be available because flammable fracking liquid will be in it then nestle will sell you bottles at a way marked up price. its a singularity of ideals clashing and meeting with technology to inflate and irreparably harm egos at the same time to where dating almost ruined because of illusion of choice, well more then it is anyway. they are already in the process of making being homeless illegal. if regulations don't happen soon people will be evicted because they cant afford housing and then homelessness being illegal ship them to for profit prisons. make them work for free, get back times when America was great or something foolish like that. i don't doubt soon a wave of frustrated testosterone riddled mommy issues are gonna start trying things just for the hell of it. i am not looking forward to the future but id be lying if I said I'm not morbidly curious to see how things unfold. ive seen things and accepted my decisions and realities of this world. I can also say if i were to die tomorrow i wouldn't care and i doubt many people would more then a passing oh thats sad. dude was odd.

    • @squanchysquanch1840
      @squanchysquanch1840 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Stop dwelling on society as a whole. Stop taking in all the awful things going on. There’s very little you can do to change any of it. Focus on yourself and your family, your friends, pets, work, school etc. as those are things you can positively affect in your day to day life.
      Empathy and sensitivity can be a burden. Try not to let the suffering of others cause you to suffer. The world is not on your shoulders, although it may feel like it.

    • @veganmagick7251
      @veganmagick7251 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@squanchysquanch1840 Ugh, I needed to hear this, but at the same time, I feel guilty when I'm not focusing on it. Like I'm part of the problem if I don't keep myself informed on every terrible thing going on in the world. But realistically, I know there's nothing much I can do to help those situations. There is so much evil that I feel helpless. Like I'm turning my back on everyone in need. Although at the same time I feel I've heard enough to have the awareness that I need to potentially help if it's ever within my sphere. So what good does it do to continue to ruin my days focusing on the stuff.... idk

    • @squanchysquanch1840
      @squanchysquanch1840 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@veganmagick7251 you shouldn’t feel guilty. You aren’t causing these things to happen. It’s good to observe and be aware of what’s going on, to an extent. But if it’s affecting your mental health then I’d definitely advise checking out for a bit. Some people are more capable of dealing with these things. You are probably quite young I assume? Things will settle down as you age. Everything seems more potent (maybe that’s not the right word, powerful, impactful?) when you are young. Maybe I’ve just gotten more jaded as I’ve gotten older lol but you should probably get yourself sorted out before you worry about helping others. Like I said, put your energy into things you can positively affect in your life. If everyone adopts this same mindset, the world will eventually be a better place.

  • @BTDoubleU
    @BTDoubleU หลายเดือนก่อน +220

    I noticed something interesting when listening to this:
    I decided to start listening to this while doing some household chores, and I was resonating with everything that was being said and thinking about how it applies to my own life-it felt empowering.
    At a certain point, I took a break from chores, and starting playing videogames, while still listening, and almost immediately I was putting a negative spin on what I was listening and got into my pattern of negative self talk (I’m mediocre, I’m beyond help, etc.) and I eventually started feeling anxious and less empowered.
    Not exactly sure what this means, but I thought it was an interesting insight.

    • @TheGLaDOSvideoCore
      @TheGLaDOSvideoCore หลายเดือนก่อน +19

      @@BTDoubleU i think i can crack this one. my dream is to make video game videos, but whenever im working on them i feel like a worthless geek and will sometimes have to reach out to my wife for inspiration/motivation or I'll start hating myself for my "stupid goals" not realizing that working on my goals in the first place puts me in a better percentile

    • @Glitterermepink
      @Glitterermepink หลายเดือนก่อน +40

      It could be related to the effect of technology on suppressing emotion. Maybe while you were doing chores, your emotional part of your brain was engaged and able to process these thoughts and feelings and generate that sense of hope for the future, especially cause u were doing something positive so you probably felt agency as well like "fk yeah I can do shit, look at me now"
      But the when we use technology like video games it suppresses our emotions and your logical side took over and was predicting negative things, which dr said our brain is so good at, but you weren't quite able to process the feelings of that due to the video games. Just my interpretation.

    • @malmcrantz4943
      @malmcrantz4943 หลายเดือนก่อน +41

      Or another way to look at it - when you did chores you felt productive and in control, which gave you a more positive outlook on life in general.
      And when you were playing video games you were "giving in to impulsivity" and just mindlessly consuming, which can lead to feelings of shame and hopelessness.
      I don't know you, but maybe investigate if you feel this way often when you are "relaxing"? If it's more associated with negative emotions rather than seeing it as a well deserved time for recovery?

    • @reedy_9619
      @reedy_9619 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I don’t mind chores that much.. it’s not really exciting or entertaining but it kinda keeps you busy and feeling like you control the situation..
      When I was in military training most people disliked cleaning and greasing their boots.
      I kinda liked it, took my time to do it nicely, I was happy to have nice boots that fit me well and it’s one of the aspects I could control. I could slow dow, process stuff and be with myself.
      I still kinda feel that way doing chores at home. If and when I come around to doing them.

    • @reedy_9619
      @reedy_9619 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      @@Glitterermepink
      Do games really supress emotions?
      Games require a lot of mental engagement. You can’t think about anything else whilst playing (might depend on the game).
      Chores don’t require much mental engagement, which means your mind can wander off.

  • @Anotherhumanexisting
    @Anotherhumanexisting หลายเดือนก่อน +29

    What about in the case of unbearable suffering, due to chronic illness (mental or physical) with no prospect of improvement?
    I believe the medical system should have a humane option for folks who no longer consent to existing in constant pain. We’re part of the way there with terminal illness in some states. Other countries like Belgium are doing it better. Seems like basic human right to self determination, especially after a years long process with multiple doctors. But in the states we criminalize even thinking about quality of life decisions. It is cruel to back people into that corner.
    What holds me back is risk of failure and further disability, as well as the shock to loved ones not being able to warn or prepare them.

  • @LindaR-xh5hf
    @LindaR-xh5hf หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    I hope you do a part two stream with the rest of the material you had prepared because this part was excellent.🙏 Thank you so much for these amazing streams!

  • @stvk551
    @stvk551 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    Thank you for making this video despite the restriction, it was super insightful

  • @dyskilz
    @dyskilz หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Well, the title perfectly encapsulates my life. I don’t want to live and I don’t want to be here, I have no motivation and no drive, just waiting for something to take me out.

  • @Freeze_Art
    @Freeze_Art 20 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    I am happy to report I found this organically on my for you on YT. So hopefully this is reaching out to the people who need to hear this!

  • @salkhan3105
    @salkhan3105 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

    I can't afford therapy but Dr.K is literally nurturing future generations.
    THANK YOU

  • @cathyx7202
    @cathyx7202 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    Do I have passive suicidal ideation?
    If there’s a hardship, especially in the social realm / something that happened where I looked stupid or ridiculous / a misunderstanding that causes heightened emotions / when you realize that for a particular topic you’re really on a different page than a loved one and there’s no changing their mind…
    For about 16 months now, I’ve had this coping mechanism of thinking ‘Well, everything will be over when you’re dead’ and sometimes it’s like ‘You could make it all disappear by k*lling yourself’

  • @KCH55
    @KCH55 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I've definitely felt this before. I'm back quite frequently. Especially wonder why some people stay at a dead-end job. It's the same reason. It's mind-numb.
    Sometimes you feel like you can't get out of your black hole. You just slowly drift further and further into it.
    And I'm a millennial and I felt this back and forth throughout my life but I'm definitely feeling it more currently. I especially noticed gen Z suffers from it quite significantly. They don't have that false optimism we had. Many of them are just set to their doom. I mean I know that it's tough but sometimes you got to fake it till you make it kind of is a phrase for a reason. It does sometimes get better even its a faint light. But if you're always dragging into the dump, you'll never see a potential light.

  • @PsychoKuno
    @PsychoKuno หลายเดือนก่อน +32

    This video was legit so helpful to me. Like I'm really glad I was able to catch this stream before youtube censored it.

    • @richystyles
      @richystyles หลายเดือนก่อน

      Oh what got censored? I thought this was the full recording of the live stream?

    • @PsychoKuno
      @PsychoKuno หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@richystyles for a while the video was unplayable but he said ahead of time that Google and TH-cam algorithms hide anything with mention of suicide by default

    • @richystyles
      @richystyles หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@PsychoKuno Ahh that's unfortunate. Considering this is such a relevant and important topic I don't get what TH-cam hopes to achieve by hiding it :( I'm assuming now that the video is playable again that it contains the entire livestream or do you know if some parts were censored/removed?

    • @PsychoKuno
      @PsychoKuno หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@richystyles I'm not entirely sure. It might be the whole thing but I'd have to rewatch it to know.

    • @richystyles
      @richystyles หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@PsychoKuno That's okay. Thank you for letting me know 😄

  • @korvmedmos979
    @korvmedmos979 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    This is EXACTLY what I needed to watch. Thank you so much drk

  • @DylanWeyand
    @DylanWeyand หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    Best re framing I’ve heard in a while “anticipate the internal reward of accomplishing an action” Thanks doc i needed this today

  • @HyperWolf
    @HyperWolf หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    This makes a lot of sense. I have had a lot of tough times but I’ve never felt truly depressed. I have a room that looks like a hoard but is ADHD mess and so much gross laundry. Yesterday I did one single solitary load of laundry after not doing laundry for months due to low energy (I’d been buying new clothes instead) and I was so freaking proud of myself. Even when I looked at the pile of stuff in my room, I kept thinking about how awesome it was that I’d done one load. I feel super motivated to keep going.
    This is super helpful because there are people with passive suicidality in my life and I think this will help me help them. The focusing on just a few goals, helping them look at things as bittersweet, and making sure they acknowledge their successes more. I always praise hard work because I got praised for being smart and that messed me up but maybe that also puts some sort of pressure on them to always work hard and complete goals. I will make sure I also acknowledge their progress when they are having an off day. :)

  • @valdius85
    @valdius85 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    “time is something to get through” - that describes my state for the pass few years.
    Thank you so much

  • @HiMoondie
    @HiMoondie หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    Thank you so much for this Dr. K! I've always struggled to understand myself since a young age, and been living in a "passive suicide" state since 15. It's been getting worse every year and has been haunting me for a long time. To the point where I most likely won't be around to learn more from Dr. K next year.
    I cried so many times during the stream when you mentioned how to move on and fix it, because I felt like I've couldn't apply it my life because I'm too far gone. What I really wanted to say was thank you so much for what you do! This information would have helped me so much during my younger years and I'm hoping it now will help someone out there who is struggling with this issue. Hopefully they find some guidance early and manages to overcome this struggle.
    Thank you so so much for the important work you do, and thanks to everyone in the community for sharing their struggles.
    Take care and be safe everyone ❤❤

    • @brushstroke3733
      @brushstroke3733 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I wish you the best and hope you feel better soon. Hopefully something from this video will be like a seed that takes root in you and grows into hope and acceptance. Like a surrender to what is without being a surrender of life itself.
      It's the mind made identity that doesn't want to go on. The body itself does want to go on. This is proven by the fact that your heart beats, your lungs breathe, your gut digests food, and your immune system repairs wounds and fights off infections.

    • @reywashere5284
      @reywashere5284 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      You feel hopeless internally because your brain has confused itself in the ways Dr K talks about - from the outside and objectively, there is hope. please keep trying, and please reach out for help.

    • @Akaeus
      @Akaeus หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I hope someone can truly check on this guy... this sounds ominous

  • @ShadeNocturne
    @ShadeNocturne หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    I'm just so fed up with trying, man. Daily, I bounce between so depressed I get physically nausious at work, and angry until my head hurts. Waking up 'excited' about anything is rare. I have 1 or 2 small moments a week where I can smile. Is that normal? Is that healthy? I can rephrase and re-focus all I want, my CBT therapists sure tried their best, but that does NOT change anything! my mind, my body, my whole entire existence itself was made aware of the reality of my situation. What can you do when the moment you rememeber you exist, most of your very limited "ambition pool" is dried up for the day??
    And now I'm suppose to suffer MORE? For no reward. I sometimes feel proud of my weight loss, but i have work to do. Doesn’t matter what comes after that thought, the truth is there. Ignorance would be bliss, perhaps. But I woke up, and I cannot go back to sleep... but, JUST because I haven't found the nerve to "game over" myself, I try so damn hard anyway despite the insurmountable amount of work that simply can't be ignored, as suggested. Simply lifting weights is impossible to enjoy. I walk to burn calories, not "listen to nature in silence," I need music to get through work because monotonous warehouse work is [by design] unfulfilling. Yet I have to pay bills and debt off don't I? And I have it easier than many! Ni student loans and loving parents... god my poor parents. They fucking deserved SO MUCH BETTER. They deserved a son who wasn't such an immature, mentally unwell fucking manchild. They deserved a son who didn't need so much assistance about basic things.
    Fuck I miss weed. I wanna drink again. And yet my panic disorder won't let me even become addicted to anything but food, WHICH MY FAT ASS CAN'T HAVE CAUSE I'M TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT AND TONE UP!!! UGH. I want to eat a box of donuts and smile again 😭 it's all i have!! And that's pathetic!! PA-MOTHERFUCKING-THETIC!!
    God, then I keep hearing how I need to "try harder," because clearly I'm not because I guess being fucking mad that life sucks and then you die, but then the same people tell me "if I can do it, so can you!" Well, I'm sorry but no... clearly not, remember? Fucking people... no, they're just trying to help. I've seen suicidality and panic attacks from the outside perspective years before I ever had them, and by god I'd trade all this "experience" for a sack of boiled peanuts in a heartbeat. 😢
    God, I'm so fucked. If anyone relates, then you listen to me goddamn it: DON'T GIVE UP. You'll end up like me, and you'll be fully aware of how you're sabotaging your friendships, love life, job and finances... with no ability to stop it.
    No, I'm sorry but I think I won't elaborate anymore. I've realized, SOMETHING I've learned has crippled me for this long, and if I share it here in my fit of exaustion, god forbid... someone else might read it and have their own brain broken in half :( sure, I already started with a deficit, but.when I became aware of the truth, the walls slowly started closing in. And I want you to heal.
    You're better then me, okay? You, reading this, right now. You are! So PLZ, JUST IGNORE this comment and follow Dr. K's advice... stop reading and PLEASE go get help. Take a walk, call someone or snuggle your pets! The sooner you do anything to fight the thoughrs, the sooner you won't have to become... this.

    • @MaleficWeegee
      @MaleficWeegee หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Nah. I'll pass on ignoring this. Good job on the weight loss journey thus far. I'm rooting for ya!

    • @randomguy86420
      @randomguy86420 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I don't know how much this can help. The only thing that helped me through it, was finding something I want to do and trying to make that my living. Look, it's super hard to lose weight, I'm proud of you, it takes discipline, energy and tons of effort to do so. Find something you can enjoy and put those same attributes towards it. I don't know what that is for you, it could just be something small. You like food right? Maybe try finding healthier but still tasty alternatives. Turn that in to a recipe to give others as well. I don't know, I don't know your hobbies or wants, but whatever it is, start small and build towards it. Just like you did with your weight loss.

    • @ShadeNocturne
      @ShadeNocturne หลายเดือนก่อน

      First off: I appreciate the kind words and advice. You're kind for even bothering, and I hope you're well. ❤️ I really do.
      I however, unfortunately don't know how to implent whatever finally got me to "diet," since I lost 30lb from uh... kinda starvation? I ate 900 calories a day for 2-ish months. Now I try to skip days eating and eat light others to maintain, till my metabolism fixes itself. It's been working cause if I don't or I gain too much back from a cheat meal, I get a panic attack. Which is good, haha about time my stupid body got with the program 😄 now if only my brain/heart could find me a purpose that didn't feel empty and temporary.
      I am trying to learn music, but I would never wanna do it for a living, least not traditionally. Labels OR independent, both seem like a nightmare of red tape and handling my personal finances [no 401k/pay stubs] TH-cam kinda failed cause of my mental health and inability to stick to a schedule as erratic as that. Now I'm just... kinda stuck. Like usual but with this sense of Dread that usually comes before or after, now all at once.
      Oh, I've tried the healthier alternatives. I really have. I'm a "junk" foodie, so calorically dense and healthy never seems to work. Cause I know it's not as much and that makes my cravings kick in. It's just something I have to deal with... not much to do, at this point. I'd rather be skinny than fat.
      It doesn't seem to ever get "better, " sadly.
      But again, your words mean a lot and I thought a lot about them before responding. I hope you continue on your path toward a better future. Send me a postcard, friend.

    • @Leykeyhai
      @Leykeyhai หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Most sane furry

    • @ShadeNocturne
      @ShadeNocturne หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Ha! Okay, that gave me a chuckle 😊

  • @Noothanks666
    @Noothanks666 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Hey doc. Don't know if you'll ever read this but I have to say thank you for being your self. Thank you for being brutally honest and real with your crowd. I came across you the other day with your video explaining borderline personality disorder popped up on my feed and it's the first video I found explaining it in a way that actually resonates with me. I appreciate it. Then naturally, I started watching many other videos you've posted. I thank you for the safe space you created with a great community. If you weren't such a busy guy, I'd ask to have a one on one with ya. Been looking for a therapist that can handle me but haven't been so lucky. Also, your username really stuck out to me, with all your gaming analogies as well. Great stuff man. Keep being real and maybe the rest of the world will catch on and hop on this bandwagon. Seriously, appreciate you!

  • @scottbuck1572
    @scottbuck1572 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    "If I dont get high today, whats gonna happen; Im not gonna turn my life around today" I felt that in my soul

  • @anaoicar
    @anaoicar หลายเดือนก่อน +42

    thanks for making this video i had the luck of finding this in my recommended section

    • @Ancsa0712
      @Ancsa0712 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Same here, and just leaving a comment so hopefully the algorithm will pick it up

  • @777jimothy
    @777jimothy หลายเดือนก่อน +47

    The life version of quiet quitting

  • @breannathompson9094
    @breannathompson9094 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Plus i wanted to add is that a component of why "gifted burnout" is prevalent for some people? There was always "more" you could do and more people would push you to accomplish, that when you completed one thing it was more of an expectation than anything to be celebrated or rewarded. There was always something more to do or accomplish.

    • @CosmicConniption
      @CosmicConniption 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Right, and even if you can recognize this in yourself and try to rethink your thinking, as soon as you’re back with others, it picks up again when they encourage it. And then we isolate and darkness creeps in.

  • @carlosmourgues7884
    @carlosmourgues7884 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    The research covered here was exactly what I needed to hear about. Just this morning I was arguing with my therapist about how heavy and tired I feel under the weight of all my unfinished goals and how nothing brings me pleasure anymore. I see now I've been streched too thin and was wearing myself out psychologicaly.
    Guess I'll try to take small steps focusing toward one goal at a time. Also, by the later point the second screen joke was funny because multitasking is something I have already stopped doing. I finished the video in my backyard laying on the grass and staring at the branches untill it got dark. feel much better because of it. I'll see in a week how well this videos advice helps me, but I'm hopeful about it.

    • @justinland1208
      @justinland1208 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Rooting for you.

  • @TheSynisterMinister
    @TheSynisterMinister หลายเดือนก่อน +22

    Thank you for making this Video doctor. I noticed a trend where I'm calling out of work not even caring if my shift is covered. And I'll just lay in bed until I can muster the energy to make it to the liquor store. This was very eye-opening. I don't know if it will get better or worse but it's good to have a sense of what's happening and hopefully I can make a map out of this.

    • @steggopotamus
      @steggopotamus หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Work is so toxic for so many people, especially in the US. I think it helps to get at least a little angry at how destructive the systems in the US are. At least anger will get you out of bed. Exercise with a vengeance, pursue a passion with a vengeance, maybe it will get you something better in life, but at least when you finally log out of life, you'll have maintained your sense of self and fought for yourself the whole time.
      Not always easy to do. But it's helped me a few times.
      (I'm not promoting traditional vengeance, I'm saying the best vengeance is the build up the things the corporate overlords try to tear down, which in this case is you)

    • @brushstroke3733
      @brushstroke3733 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@@steggopotamusI believe there is wisdom in what you say.

    • @TheSynisterMinister
      @TheSynisterMinister หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@@steggopotamus thanks for the words of encouragement. I used to joke that I'm "spite driven" when I'm in the gym (haven't been in almost a week) it's what always drove me. Vengeance!

  • @kingjasko
    @kingjasko หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    im an hour and 55 minutes in and i can say that this has been the most influential stream i have seen so far of anyone... literally life changing stuff right here! i thank you, i appreciate you, you'll never understand how much you've helped people through this channel.

  • @Tunda2
    @Tunda2 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    I’m sure a lot of us identify with the quote “the child is grown, the dream is gone.”

    • @slimekingmc8057
      @slimekingmc8057 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      The other day, I told my brother that I think the song "Comfortably Numb" best describes me, and he just gave me a sad look.
      It took me a second to realize why he reacted the way he did. I had just internalized that mindset so much that I had normalized it.
      On a lighter note, it's always nice running into another pink floyd fan.

    • @Tunda2
      @Tunda2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@slimekingmc8057 that’s me. I heard them at the perfect time to have a major impact on me. I was on all the non needle drugs and my last couple brain cells fired back up and eventually got me out of there

  • @Accomodare
    @Accomodare หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    This vod actually showed up organically in my feed. Not sure if others are the sane or if this commment will even be seen but just fwiw

  • @DCornwell-d2t
    @DCornwell-d2t หลายเดือนก่อน +25

    Narrowing the focus to only 1 goal at a time takes the sense of overwhelm away so i can move into action. Thinking of all of the goals at once is paralyzing.

    • @Drstrange3000
      @Drstrange3000 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Anytime I have tried this, I would have lectures from people that I'm not trying hard enough, even though I did make some progress. I wasn't able to see the progress I made until years later. Anytime I would begin to take babysteps people were always so judgmental. I just don't care anymore. I'm too tired and burnt out. I just want to not be in this world anymore.

    • @katec9893
      @katec9893 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ​@@Drstrange3000It sounds like you weren't around supportive people. I had a former friend who was like that, I ended the friendship because she couldn't empathise with how much of a struggle my life was and thought I wasn't doing enough. I only keep supportive people in my life now, support groups can be good for finding decent people who will encourage you with compassion. I hope you can find some more support and keep going.

    • @Drstrange3000
      @Drstrange3000 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@katec9893 Yeah, the people who said that were not the most empathetic. I ended the friendship as well. It isn't worth it. I am fortunate to have a couple of really supportive people around. Those bad experiences shouldn't get me down as much as they do. It just stings. I'm glad you also have supportive people too.

  • @Luke117-r2x
    @Luke117-r2x หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    TH-cam won’t let me share this due to their censorship rules but this is an amazing video!
    This would help tons of people like myself.
    Thank you Dr. K. Some people pay thousands of dollars for worse therapy than this. This is incredible.

  • @LASSOV
    @LASSOV หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    45:35 reason to get up
    53:06 events around you determine your happiness
    1:11:15 trying to fix everything
    1:39:23 once you understand how your 🧠 works
    1:53:10 investing in everything but yourself
    2:00:30 success is achieved through experience at iteration

  • @Madchris8828
    @Madchris8828 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    I am actually mentally in a great place but I always think these deep dive streams are valuable to learn from.

  • @JCtheMusicMan_
    @JCtheMusicMan_ หลายเดือนก่อน +285

    I fit the passive category. At 49, I’m disabled by military duty, no compensation, barely able to scrape together rent and no hope for the future. There are sources for help but barely out of reach due to system failures. There really is no point 🤷🏼‍♂️

    • @Crayfish
      @Crayfish หลายเดือนก่อน +47

      ❤️ You seem like a chill dude, thank you for your service - i am from Norway, but i still see your sacrifice for something you once or do believe in, and thank you for veing a person willing to make that sacrifice.

    • @JLM-y5g
      @JLM-y5g หลายเดือนก่อน

      Hey man, if you're struggling to find something to hope for, I'd like to suggest something: There are apprenticeship programs that actively recruit former military personnel; they aren't easy, but you'll make a paycheck and learn some in-demand skills with high likelyhood of landing a job afterwards.
      They're not difficult to find if you're able to use a browser (and you're currently using the internet to watch this, so I assume you have access to a browser), and I've currently applied to several. While I may not get them, it's done wonders for my mental health and made me feel like I'm actively doing *something.* If you don't mind having reasonable accomodations for your disability, another good option is retail w/ skillbuilding courses through retail employers.

    • @gomiggang
      @gomiggang หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      Don't ever give up. Keep fighting for your life until you can not move your arms or legs. You may be disabled but you are still human just like me.

    • @capsulamental
      @capsulamental หลายเดือนก่อน +68

      Who would have guessed that being treated like a disposable asset would drive a human being to not wanting to be here anymore? Dang. So sorry, sir. You deserved better. Hope you can find yourself and are able to regain the notion of your worth as a human

    • @benjaminjenkins2384
      @benjaminjenkins2384 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

      Become a socialist. Advocate for better social systems and worker's and veterans rights. There's still so much good you can do for the world

  • @scottschaeffer2029
    @scottschaeffer2029 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    You care so much in the right direction! You are an inspiration!

  • @AS-kf1ol
    @AS-kf1ol 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    We love you Dr. K. I watch every single video whether the title applies to me or not because theres ALWAYS something that helps me thibk differently about myself and the people i love. You've truly found your calling.

  • @jordanwhite8718
    @jordanwhite8718 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    Something that I’ve had to realize is that I always thought that you had to go through the right of passage of getting into a relationship and having a kid actively. The thing is I don’t think that’s how most people get into those sorts of things. It usually happens just by you doing what you enjoy doing. You should never do something in hopes that you will get laid. You should do something because you enjoy it and if you happen to find someone else who also enjoys that thing and it leads to a relationship, that’s great. but I feel like guys like me. Try to do things like trivia nights, going to the gym, or taking a walk in the park in the hopes that we will find someone to connect to. When in reality you should be doing those things because you think it’s fun, and the relationship will come later.

    • @Fiox789
      @Fiox789 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Idk like doing the thing it hopes you'll find someone people say is wrong and on the other side people say do what you enjoy and the rest will follow and some people will say look for what you want. I'm guessing there is no right answer

    • @jordanwhite8718
      @jordanwhite8718 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@Fiox789 You’re probably right. There’s not really your right answer to do anything when it comes to your personal life. You just have to do what works for you. Because in the end, that’s who you’re gonna have to answer to.

    • @KingButcher
      @KingButcher หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Ppl do those things because they don't find much else fun that introduces them to others IRL. It's how quite a few hobbies are rn, especially if you've grown up on the internet. The "relationships come when you do something you enjoy" has some thicc asterisks.

    • @Slyguy89130
      @Slyguy89130 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Idk me and my gf have very little in common but we just like talking to each other