Attwood back in Rome 28 and 29, May, 2015. www.spazioasper... What are the distinctive features of AS in females and what are the most common comorbidities?
I can 100% relate to this video. I am almost 35 and just discovered I have Asbergers. I broke down when I found out. Everything that’s ever happened in my entire life makes sense. I am an Italian woman (from the U.S) and I was in turmoil as a kid as to why I wasn’t the typical Italians women and couldn’t express myself. My family made it aware to me and I felt like an alien. Great video!
Malgorzata Wojtys That’s funny because I’ve been trying to move to England for that very reason. It’s been rather difficult as I’d need a special skill and a job offer to even get a work visa to move there. How did you manage it if you don’t mind me asking?
Malgorzata Wojtys Ah yes, I forgot there’s no visa requirement if you’re European. I have been to Scotland and it’s lovely. I really enjoyed the way of life there. Maybe someday I’ll be able to move over there. Glad it worked out for you.
@@malgorzatawojtys9846 I was close friends with an actor who resided in London, and when I visited him, I was very impressed with the less-pressured, more laidback lifestyle as compared to that in the US. Here in the US, it's much more aggressive and competitive - tomorrow's work must be completed yesterday, if not sooner! 🙃 My actor friend tried to get me a job as a mental health practitioner in London through a friend of his who was an administrator in the field, but even his influence couldn't get me a foot in the door. Our two cultures just didn't jibe. When my actor friend informed me that jobs in England are unionized and that upon hire, you automatically got 3 weeks holiday time, I was FLOORED!! Here in the US, only 13% of jobs are unionized, and in most jobs you have to work at least a year before earning one week of vacation time!! A whole different ballgame!
Hey, Eliscia if you are still on TH-cam...I’m 30, same story. Good for you my love, we made it, I really hope the past couple years have been marvellous for you :)
30+ yrs consulting Drs for suicidal depression, anxiety, low self-esteem; not ONE even *mentioned* Aspergers! *Finally* diagnosed, I believe AS is a gift to society; it's the clever, kind, creative, honest, tolerant & interesting people, but I'm also sad for so many years I spent determined to 'mend' me - Self-help books, alcohol
Same, esp the drugs. Dxed with borderline for years; aged away from it after age 45, and finally reassessed as ASD and complex PTSD, from social trauma. It's wonderful that so many interventions exist for folks under, say, 35, but as for those older, so much seems futile. No wonder addiction is a huge, if still unspoken, problem among Aspie adults. Peace to you.
i'm 16 i believe i have this ... i'm just so stressed right now. i've been suicidal since i was a child bc of how difficult things are for me and how different i am from other people
The Mercury: Oh, DO I HEAR YOU!! SHAKE HANDS WITH ANOTHER SISTER!! When I was diagnosed a few months ago - I'm 58 years old - I was distressed then furious all these years went by being plagued as a freak, an oddball, "off the wall," and "too unconventional for my own good." I was detested for being articulate, scorned for "caring too much," laughed at for shedding tears over a beautiful sunset and my first view of NYC's skyline. People's feelings toward me made me feel ashamed and hate myself. I took refuge in performing and creative art, but I got my greatest pleasure downing opiods because they bandaged my self-doubt and anxiety. Now I know what makes me ME, and I actually feel blessed!! 😍
As an aspie, I accidentally started crying because every single thing he said (including the relationship thing) was 100% super true. EVERY SINGLE THING!!!
I don't think I've ever related to a 6 minute video this much in my life. I was very anxious as a child, in fact I had selective mutism, which can occur more often in children with ASD than NT kids. However, I was a very "well behaved" child, especially in school. I was terrified of getting in trouble, being noticed, being singled out. I felt that if I were singled out, then everyone would realize that I was different. I learned how to project a mask in social situations, a mask that I still wear, in order to pass as "normal". I was obsessed with fantasy novels, imaginary play, and have always had a strong affinity toward animals. I have been called the Cat Whisperer for many years, and I consider my cats to be some of my closest friends. I have always gravitated toward caregiver goals, and have always experienced an enormous amount of empathy, as well as being predisposed to compassion fatigue. I feel like a sponge sometimes in that I absorb the pain of other people and of animals to such a degree that I often feel overwhelmed, almost as though I am directly experiencing that pain myself. I began drinking and using drugs at a young age. It made me feel more comfortable with socializing. I always wanted to be social, but found it painful in a way, and drinking especially numbed that pain and allowed me to be a person that I just wasn't naturally. I have noticed in my two years of being sober that I do not socialize nearly as much as I used to. I find it SO exhausting, and if I am in a social group situation, I have to put so much effort into trying to say and do the right thing that I often break down afterwards from being overstimulated and burnt out, like my battery has become critically low. Afterwards, I need lots of time to recharge, and it will often be weeks or even months before I am prepared to socialize in a group again. I have fallen prey to predatory men throughout my dating life, especially when I was younger, not able to fully grasp the fact that some people will purposefully abuse and use people. I could never imagine myself doing that or imagine that people could be that cruel, so I wasn't able to protect myself as well as I should have. I have recently come to the conclusion, upon researching just how differently girls and women present with ASD vs their male counterparts, that I must have ASD. I haven't identified with a diagnoses as strongly as this in a while; the other times I have felt that was when I realized that I was an addict and also a codependent. Realizing that I likely have autism explains SO much of my life, the past and the present, how I feel about myself and how I interact with the world. I have had the almost horrifying realization that I don't truly know who I am without the "mask", as I am so used to having it on, sometimes more and sometimes less of course, depending on the situation and who I am with. However, it is almost always on to some degree. It's scary, but also I feel intense relieve, to finally know that there wasn't anything wrong with me to begin with. I am not a failure, I am just different.
Just found out at 73 years old that I' m an Aspie female ...always felt like an alien who was sent here to study humans (still don't understand them) LOL
That's a really big deal, to be diagnosed in your later life? I hope this helps you overcome any difficulties you might have experienced :) wishing you well ❤
I find psychology very interesting, I’ve just realised I have always watched people and how they react to situations and memorised them and then copied them, I mask and it is very tiring, I’m 35 an only last year did the penny drop an I hibernated from everyone for a month, it’s mind blowing to go through so many years of life not realising you have asd, everything made sense, losing friends, people saying I’m rude or blunt when I never meant to be, social anxiety, taking comments literally, I’ve been a chameleon for years
@@kit10 DAMN STRAIGHT!! I belong to some arts associations, do water aerobics and volunteer at my local wildlife rehab center, all of which I dearly love but, because of my social anxiety, always dread having to prepare for. The closing down of everything due to covid has actually provided me with a respite from that anxiety!! It's an unhealthy, defeatist attitude in spades, but it's the god-honest truth.
Me too !!!!! When I learn new languages the thing I master the quicker is the accent/pronunciation specifications because I mimick it easily. I got into a fight with a friend who thought I was copying her too....
Yes, but the best part is once you stop caring about what others actually think, you become more of yourself, your authentic self. What I've noticed is when I wore that, "mask" and smiled all the time it was unnatural and people would still assume I was weird and rude as you say. I now stopped caring, I realised normal people LIVE for validation, if someone isn't smiling, talking to them, giving them attention, they feel like that person doesn't like them, their ego is bruised and then assume you're rude. But I, don't live for validation, I hate smiling 24/7 I feel it's unnatural when I smile at someone, I don't care if they don't want to talk, and don't mind if they smile back and say hi briefly and look away. I don't care for anybody to tell me I'm great with small pointless talk unless they actually care! the more I stopped changing to validate normal folk the more I noticed life is sweet. I still smile and say hi, I just stopped reading too much into it. Not long ago a woman stopped me and asked if everything was okay, to which I replied yes! She said she gets the feeling I don't like her. I said no not at all everything is well. She smiled and says great and walks away happy, the next few encounters I try and be more smiley and say hi to which she gets her phone out and starts talking out loud about her life etc, and starts to avoid me from then on. People like that I have nothing against but again I didn't and won't validate people for fun,small talk isn't my thing, I like to work, earn money and take care of my kids, and husband. The world is a bigggg place and a lot of different people walking around going through hardships for me to be worrying about how I come across. Those days are over for me I'm living my best life lol
Absolutely spot on for me.......now what? I am a 74 year old recently retired pediatric occupational therapist, and a damn good one. I related so well with my kiddos and learned so much. As I look back I realize how therapeutic they were for me. I recently came upon articles about female autism and was blown away. Explains every single thing I have struggled with in my life. So what do I do now?
The shame I have dealt with for decades because I always have tried to hide that I am different and and I always have to figure out how to react. It's easier to be alone. Safer. I am not stupid but it's probably easy to take advantage of me. For that reason I am extremely wary of everyone. Why don't people just be straightforward? What is the truth? I can understand facts. Unfortunately the gray areas are a puzzle without clues. I can tell stories about anything. It's very comforting to explore different realities. Interesting.
@@velvetindigonight Me three! The advantage to getting older is that so much of what mattered when you were younger - fitting in, doing what you "should" be doing, "keeping up with the Joneses" - or exceeding them 😄 - becomes stale and tiresome. Been there, done that, life is short, so for Chrissakes, IT'S TIME TO START LIVING FOR YOURSELF! There's the power of a mighty sword in each strand of gray hair, even if you dye it! 😉
I am in tears as I watch this, at 45 I still struggle to get a diagnosis. But this video here, this helps me know who I am is ok. I cannot believe that a person I have never met can describe me so accurately.
I was just told I am not on the spectrum for all the traitss you just described, like that I am caring & good with kids, even though my AQ is 49 out of 50. The psychiatrist said I was too smart to be on the spectrum. I was so relieved when a previous psychologist said I was on the spectrum, and felt I finally found my tribe. But she apparently never wrote it in my file as official. Now I can't stop crying & am not sure why.
Odd. Einstein, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs are all thought to have (had) Asperger's. I have the NVLD variant: top scores on all the verbal/language subtests, average math, but below average processing and visual spatial scores, the median in the superior range, hardly Einsteinian. I feel you on the tears, tho--there is so very much to grieve.
I'm very much into psychology myself, and have been thinking about pursuing a career in psychology. I'm inspired. I'd like to be one of the ones involved in creating that psychotherapy!
l've attended psychology... started in 2004, it was hell. l was bullied a lot, group assignements were a nightmare, dealing will all the 'bichty' behaviour, with professors judging performance by social abilities rather than intellectual ones, the stress of exams. On my own, l could pull a 19 out of 20, so it's not by lack of cognitive capacity. lt was just to much and l dropped. l want to come back, though, and get my masters. l wasn't diagnosed, so l think that can make a lot of difference.
Thinking about all of the comments in this thread, including Luisa Onofre’s horrendous experiences, let me add that those are exactly the kind of experiences my oldest daughter has had in college. She is still struggling to get through, and only a small percent of the professors have truly accommodated her as required by the Americans with Disabilities Act, etc. Work is no better. She has gone into many of the areas that Tony Atwood talks about, as has for many years been interested in Japanese anime and does cosplay, which I have fully supported of course. I went to many “cons” when she was in middle and high school, acting as the adult who chaperones my daughter and many friends and acquaintances who enjoy staying at the hotels. She also has worked as an animal groomer professionally, and also shows dogs which she hopes to do more in the future. So her interests fit exactly into what he described. It’s so nice to hear someone like Tony who clearly understands adult Aspies. I seriously hope you all do pursue psychology. We have another daughter who is in grad school pursuing her doctorate in clinical psychology. I’ve learned how many literally dozens of career types that a psychology degree will allow you to pursue, and it’s truly exciting! So go for it!
I was said I can’t be on the spectrum because I have such a vivid imagination. Autistic people are supposed to be interested in small part of machines, in the mechanics of it and incapable of imaginary play. This masculine diagnostic criteria can be fatal for girls on the spectrum. I was in psychiatric care and therapy since I am eight years old, but always with a different diagnosis. ADHD, emotional disorder, social anxiety... never did they really get my problem and they still don’t. It is frustrating. Finally I know why I am different and that there are people like me out there and than I can’t be part of this group because I am female😭
I have been in treatment since age 14. I have been given 15 different psychiatric diagnoses over the years. Some were taken away. I have 4 currently. I feel like my progress has stalled. My case manager used to assess people with autism. She told me she thought I had autism. I looked into it and it makes sense.
Luke Bearden is a younger psychologist on the spectrum. Tho I am over 50, I'm thrilled to see Aspie mental health professionals getting their doctorates and developing therapies.
Just diagnosed with Autism today. It's a relief really. I've been off-the-rails most of my life. I'm 55. Life is a game on hard mode. Hoping to get support whereby I might be able to socialise. What if I just hate it? What if I'm too ingrained now to be able to socialise? What if I just love being alone? Ugh, I'm panicking and overthinking as usual.
I have a son with high functioning autism and I really relate to the chameleon type of personality. I always read books when I was young and very very gullible. I was excellent at spelling always perfect scores.
I resonate so much with this. I’m 36 and I finally figured out why I always feel weird have a hard time connecting with people.Constantly questioning myself if I’m a good mother. Gullible and I always think through what I will say lol
I followed Mr Attwood for quite while, but found that his work only looks at the outward characteristics of people with ‘Aspergers’. I actually believed this was all that I was - someone ‘with Aspergers’! However, I knew that there were reasons for my dysfunctional beliefs about myself, my ADHD, my loneliness, my lack of self-worth, my perfectionism, etc, and have since found the work of Dr Gabor Maté, who has written amazing books about ADHD, beliefs about the self, addictions and his latest, “The Myth of Normal”. He also now gives talks around the world and has a plethora of interviews online, where he explains how childhood traumas, even going back through generations, influence our emotional well-being and beliefs about who we are. His work has changed my life!
Arrivare a capirsi...e'un lavoro lungo..E faticoso...ma ci si arriva.Meglio tardi (Anche con tanta sofferenza)che mai.Complimenti e grazie a chi carica questi video.
Lots more talks by Prof Attwood here on YT so do have a search basically borderline personality disorder or bipolar often diagnosed in error as psychiatry don't appear to have become aware of the reality of Aspergers/Autism Spectrum Conition 1 yet. Painful. At 61 it was finally such a relief to find out why my life had been such a struggle. I identified through Prof Attwoods lecture her on YT 'Girls and Aspergers' and am waiting for a full assesment. I'm an ex sociol worker so I can see I fit the criteria............ Take care
This evening in the local shop I was asked if I wanted a bag for my groceries. I was slow to respond to such a simple question because I was trying to calculate do I need one and my fiancé said no, we don't. Job done, and I love him for little things like that. Bigger questions such as having children: for me it was always absolutely not, for as Tony said Aspie women often don't make good choices when it comes to partners and I never felt I'd found a man who would be a good father for children until I met the man I'm now with (who is an amazing hubby-to-be and dad to his adult son), but it's a bit late for that. I wasn't even sure I'd have made a good mother, although I'd have been as devoted to a child as my mother was to me, albeit maybe too much so I'd probably have become totally obessed with their wellbeing and education. It was illogical and irresponsible to become a parent under those circumstances. Aged 47 (and failing to take into account pre-menopausal changes, which I still don't understand and dont care about, to my mind that's what an IUD is for) I had a pregnancy scare with my good man and I cried hard, knowing I was too old to start this journey and wishing I'd met him 10 years earlier. As things stand NOT having children was the right thing for me, I wouldn't have risked little ones getting fucked up because of my ways, which I haven't sussed the why of until recently. I only hope generations to come gain more understanding of themselves and don't miss out like I did. I'm not sore about it, I just wish I knew what I was earlier so I would have been better able to judge my own behaviour and plan my life.
What do we do with the grief? Dxed after 5 years of suspicion in 2018, and currently mourning the life I might have had were I diagnosed as a teen or in my 20s....
@@juliadixon4810 Grief, Guilt, Shame and Regret... you can only do more research on this condition to better your understanding of yourself and become your own healer... 98% of doctors made the decision only against becoming a lawyer instead.
Irene: GOOD FOR YOU!!! It takes heart and guts to put the care and well-being of children above whether or not to have them!! I think too many people have kids because they only THINK they want to have them, or believe they SHOULD have them or have them for the wrong reasons ("someone to look after us in our old age", that's my all-time favorite, hohoho). I made the decision not to have kids when I was a mere kid myself. To start, I despised baby dolls and toy strollers and play kitchens and all that "mommy" crud as a child, and not much later I began witnessing my folks' miserable, violent marriage and knew I would abstain from such a life by any means necessary. I kept my word and do not regret my decision in the least bit. My children are my pets.
@Awkward Autistic What more is there in life? I personally don't know of any parents who haven't fucked up, which is natural because parents are human beings. But I do know children who DO NOT love their parents, and that's a tragedy. Your kids love you, and that's beautiful!! ❣❣❣
I was unable to bond with my children. I was looking around seeing literally everyone else being able to do this effortlessly. This made me feel like some kind of freak anomaly, so I hid under a rock and cried more than anyone else I've ever heard of, for years. This is what hurt me the most, I want that bond more than anything I could ever think of. I didn't know I was autistic until I was 57, this year. Now it all makes sense and I can forgive myself. I am not the horrible, heartless, P.o.S. my family insists that I am. I am so much stronger, honest, and smarter than they will ever know.
I found out I'm an aspie bc of my 3rd child, Isaiah. Hes me, put into a blender, & poured into a little boys body. So I thought maybe I had Aspergers syndrome as well. It turns out I do. It explains and answers all my questions and holes in my life up until now, 44 yrs. I always thought maybe I was part alien. But now I want to meet other aspie females so i can have ppl to relate to.
Thank you for this interview. What are the distinguishing features of a woman with AS vs one with CPTSD? And what about a woman with both AS and CPTSD?
It's like he's talking about me. I looove animals the most and I'm a kindergarten teacher. Kids love me and I love them when I'm at work. But as soon as I'm off the work I'll do anything to not come into contact with kids. I'm great with kids but I can't talk with their parents. When parents come pick them up I'm still talking to the kids and can barely say anything to the parents, if I do, it's always the same thing.
Exactly, scripted communication. It's much less anxiety inducing than the kind of socializing at parties where people's purposes and intentions are not clear. When I was young I got involved in a group that taught public speaking skills and despite being really shy I was surprisingly good at making speeches I liked drama class too in high school. I am also pretty empathetic despite the stereotype that Autistic people aren't. I'm a male with Aspergers, but I can relate to a lot of this. I think part of why women with Aspergers/Autism don't get identified is they aren't expected at a young age to play sports and or to act more socially assertive. For males with Autism it can be hard to find a romantic partner having to initiate things, for females the challenge is probably more, not picking the wrong ones... I would actually love to be a therapist and maybe help other Autistic people but I struggle with school and getting through 8+ more years of it.
So so spot on! - Yes LOVE psychology (but out of the box psychology, not the textbook stuff). I did counselling for a short time till people began crying at 55 minutes into the session (and I'd always go overtime because I didn't have the heart to shove them out the door). - Didn't have children - I wanted very high standards and a strong marriage - so didn't think I was up for it (but have NO regrets). - Did have dogs instead, and am mad about animals (I housesat for 2 years minding animals - best time of my life!) - Best to be self employed if possible. (Tho I held down the same job for 11 years) - Always felt like an alien - Couldn't maintain close relationships with other females (not that I didn't want women as friends but I always sabotaged them) - Related well to boys activities when younger (had a bmx bike, surfboard etc), didn't want to sit and talk about boys with a group of girls. - Overall you CAN grow out of Borderline Personality Disorder (more prominent for me in my teenage/early 20's years), - You do grow to become intuitive when older (48 now) - as you get burnt from trusting too much and being so naive in friendships - Now I don't want to be around anyone. I am in a lovely relationship but struggle to death with any of his family social gatherings as they all talk about real estate, houses, material stuff. - You can grow to just love yourself and be satisfied with that. When I housesat, animals were my instant family.
I was diagnosed with BPD but I didn't even meet 5 of the 9 requirements. I was sure glad when they took that diagnosis away. The mental health professionals treated me and other people diagnosed with BPD like shit.
"a typical mother intuitively knows how to be a good mother", as much as I respect Tony's word, he dropped the ball here. He chose politness v. reality. Many, many women dont have a clue, and the closer the mothers are to the c.XXI the worst. They are just as terrified as anyone else with a baby in their hands. If dont believe, just check the colossal number of baby blues and related issues.
I think a lot of what he's saying is coming from an old social model that rather idealizes many aspects of people in their social roles, especially women.
Appreciate you so much. Your teaching style is easy to understand. What made you decide to specialize in Aspergers? Do/Did you have a family member, OR? Specialists like you, help people to understand themselves in greater depth than general practitioners. It makes a world of difference. The deeper knowledge, combined with focus and proper nutrition can improve our relationships and help us obtain more personal goals. thank you so much.
You described me. Dreamy, imagination, other worlds are better, well behaved, great actress ( in sales) I'm a mother. An offer achieving mother to a 15 yr old boy. We're exceptional together. I rock back and forth. I doubtful myself in public. But managed to create a lot of places to be alone i.e. car, my office, my home. I'm a great writer. I have a blog i use as a diary of sorts. To chew on ideas and concepts. Thank you for this video.
I can relate to a few of the characteristics of Autism Spectrum disorders, particularly from my growing-up years. But not all. I've visited with a Psychologist, who suggests that I am more likely to fit into the Highly Sensitive Personality category. Professor Tony Attwood, what are your thoughts on this new way of categorising the experiences of adults? It this a helpful piece of information to have?
I can really relate to this video. As I myself find it easier with animals than people. I find behaviour interesting and often been told to stop staring. I did psychology and an currently doing Psychotherapy. I've had support over the years but only recently been asked if if been assessed for ASD. Only now I'm feeling that someone actually understands me.
Yes to all of these ... except for the still expression, if anything I exadurate my facial expressions ~ However, I am wondering if much of this is a learnt/masking thing. I am 37, and only after my son being recently diagnosed >And the Dr saying to me "I hope that you understand yourself a little better now too" have I gone aaah oh okay 😅
just remembered while watching this how in highschool there was a sort of little joke that one classmate used to say. it was about me taking a minute to reply to whatever he asked me. he used to be like "haha do you need more time to answer? haha" and i always said "no, i don't" but then learned it was sarcasm...
Is there a benefit to getting diagnosed. I have dyslexia and aspergers. I really don't want to get diagnosed. I don't like that idea for some reason. In mid-30s I began to recognize my dyslexia for what it was and am almost completely self compensated. I am hopeful I can do the same for my aspergers now that I understand the "symptoms" and can see them for what they are. Isn't awareness enough? If I could self compensate for dyslexia - why not aspergers?
I'm not sure at all that I have asperger's but watching his videos and relating a lot to what he says.. I wished I could meet (and afford) an experienced psychiatrist to figure out what's wrong with me
Wow... Im litterly crying right now !!!!!!!!!! Omg he realy knows what hes talking about . Wow. I just found out I have Asperger's Syndrome Autism spectrum disorder I'm going through so many things right now it's incredibly hard this man truly doesn't know what he's talking about. As an adult it's almost 50 years old I have four children five grandchildren in the part about being a mother really hit home. Besides my culture Italian and Irish and African-American just being a female in the area that I grew up in the era where they had lack of knowledge about autism spectrum disorder and Asperger syndrome not enough research to help people cope and heal in measurable ways. I live in the US and I'm finding that adult autism is just completely ignored and there really isn't much help here I'm considering moving it would be a challenge since I also have a agoraphobia. It's been so frustrating but this gave me Hope Thank You
Suggest you watch his talk 'Girls and Aspergers' here on You Tube. Whenever I question my 'self identified' Aspergers I watch it again and reminds me he is describing my childhood and me. Good Luck with your assesment. I've got another 27 months to wait................ Here is his brilliant talk.............th-cam.com/video/wfOHnt4PMFo/w-d-xo.html
One thing Tony didn't mention is that being "a carer" is a culturally encouraged behaviour in females in the West. Females are actively punished for not showing caring behaviour throughout childhood. I care about animals and insects but can't stand the pressure or continuous attention needed to be a carer for them, let alone humans. "Caring" is a way to show loyalty and keep friendships, punishable by ostracism and rejection. It annoyed me he was like, oh ALL of the females are good to go into "caring" professions. What year was this interview? I hope he's learned better by now! We're not ALL the same, some might be good carers but others might be better being in Marketing or Town Planning or Chemistry Research. The careers he mentions are symptomatic of a minority gaining recognition and power and of cultural bias.
+TuxedoMobileDJ First of all, she is the one who needs to determine if she is an Aspie. If she is, and recognizes herself as such, ask HER what you can do to be supportive.
I like the fact that your priority is to adapt to that possibility and be as supportive as possible to your wife. :) For a start, I think the whole situation might be easier to address if she came to the same conclusion herself and tried to get confirmation that she is indeed an Aspie. Maybe you could casually broach the subject and see if she relates to the experiences of other people on the spectrum ? This way, you would be able to openly discuss it together, identify in what ways her possible Asperger's traits manifest, and she could tell you directly how to effectively support her, which is always a good way to avoid misunderstandings. Another thing that may be helpful is reading and watching informative videos on the subject, especially on the specific characteristics of AS in women and advice for neurotypical people in a relationship with someone on the spectrum. You can try some of the recommended approaches out, see if they help or not and keep those that seem to have better results for you. But I think honest communication remains the most important aspect. Don't be afraid to ask your partner how she feels about some of the things you may have noticed you perceive differently and what she thinks could help you understand each other better. As a woman with Asperger myself, I always appreciate other people's sincere efforts to reach out and make things easier for me, and if an issue is brought up gently, I will also try to adapt to their needs the best I can.
@@jeffpom7868 My husband brought up that I may be autistic one day, and I never saw it as a judgement. I was venting one of my problems to him, in the botched way I usually do, and he thought it might be a good time to bring it up. It is actually the only way I came to consider it, and guess what? I am 99 percent sure that I'm an Aspie. Also, Our 8 year old is going for a diagnosis in December; The facility also evaluates adults and I will ask about setting an appointment up for myself, too. I'm sure this commenter isn't judging his wife so much as he has noticed similar traits in his wife, that Aspies or Aspie Women have. My husband had many autistic friends growing up, and after 5 years of noticing similarities in myself, he finally felt confident enough in his observations, to bring up the possibility of me being an Aspie. I'm extremely thankful to him for bringing it to my attention. I finally understand myself and feel like I know exactly who I am now. I struggled with not knowing who I was my whole life, and now everything makes sense. I am also able to advocate for myself better. Someone who truly loves, cares for, and accepts their partner for who they are, brings up important things like this. They're life changing, for the better, in my opinion.
@@briehoward2006 That video is worthless. Coming from another person, it means nothing. I am Asperger, but it took over 4 years and before, it was just named something else by the specialists, very best in my country, so yeah! It is just a fashion, don't forget that. I don't feel anything related to other Asperger. It's good that it helped you in the beginning, I too had a big revelation, but I just don't relate to people.
Dr Attwood: I'm an older woman on the spectrum. I have profound sensory integration issues, manifesting as misophonia, w the usual trigger sounds, smacking noises chief among them. I really want to partake of your wisdom, but the smacking.....if it really can't be helped, how about hiring someone to edit it out?????
I wish you could know me and tell me if I am probably an aspie or not it would make things so much easier. I am going through the process of getting an aspie evaluation. It is a very emotional process. At 39yrs old it feels weird. It puts my whole life in questioning. After an adhd diagnosis that I did on the spure of the moment not realizing the depth of what I was doing. I have a difficulty understanding myself and being precise in my explanations. Expressing myself has always been difficult. It makes me mad. Everything is so complex. It's not just a no or yes answer. It's often relative. Or the question is to vague to answer. How can I be truthful if the precision is not there. It's frustrating. Part of me thinks that I am an aspie and another part of me eats away at me with doubt. Life is really difficult these days. I finished school which I love like crazy. I got a job and then got fired because I'm too slow and now I have to wait three weeks to start looking for jobs. It's driving me crazy I find work stressful but not having a routine is worse. I should be enjoying my vacation but it's hard. I wonder if I will be good enough. I just want my routine back but maybe a less stressful one which is my goal. Anyways good video. :)
The neocortex is the newest evolved part of the brain where experiences that transcend language occur. Processing sensations with analytical brains can cause perceptions that are unique. Have you tried being silent for periods? Just days of autism can help you connect to these inner processes and then you analyze how you relate to others.
Feel for you I'm slow at everything especially reading and writing even though I've got the equavalent of a degree I sweated for it. Can I suggest you wacth Prof Attwood's brilliant talk 'Girls and Aspergers' and everytime you wobble re watch it?th-cam.com/video/wfOHnt4PMFo/w-d-xo.html Also I'm looking into having some form of dyslexia assesment which often go's with Aspergers maybe it is something for you to consider? Finally, have a routine and what do you really like to do and make it your career, alongside of looking after yourself really well. Such a relief though to know that there is nothing wrong with us we are simply different and this bonkers society does not suit us! Stats are anything from 1 in 38 to 70 people are on the spectrum that is a lot of people. Take care
Knowing that this video was made 7 years ago, it's no surprise my email was failed to be delivered. Please, I am trying to get ahold of a professional when it comes to woman with Asperger's. I believe I am myself and currently I am seeking a diagnosis but I am afraid they won't help me because they don't have enough experience
I don't know about having a still face or taking a while to reply (although I do police behaviour) but the first part is just a description of my childhood and teenage years, down to the piercings. Uncanny!
I want him to be my doctor... This is the second video of him I watched talking about Asperger's and he displays such open knowledge on men and women Asperger's, no signs of bias, easy to understand etc. Everything he has described is basically my whole life... I've heard that it's easy to misdiagnose women and I'm afraid that if I go for my diagnosis, I'll get a wrong diagnosis 😔
I have the same concern....I don't have faith in professionals being up to date with women and Aspergers ...I know there is a masking questionnaire but a lot don't mention it as being part of their assessments
Aspies women can smile sometimes, meanwhile we are relax. for my own experience i keep a straight face when i’m not feeling confortable, when i have to stay for many hours rounded by a lot of people in the same place, for example the school, i can’t help the fact that is difficult to me to stare at the people, and when i do, it’s just for few seconds. But we can smile 🤷🏻♀️😊
I tend to slide over into 'roles' too,in order to underscore points,it gets a bit to realistic sometimes and people go wtf.Like telling my 7 year old ,ehhh ,why can't I get to play with the toy?Or telling a control freak ,you can't tell me what to do,you aren't my real dad.Both said in a kids way.
I've been unofficially counseling people my whole life...people just come to me for some reason. I considered majoring in psychology, but college was just too kindergarten for me. I felt like I was wasting my time, even after testing out of the maximum number of classes. Independent studies should be valued more in this country. That would be HUGE for Aspies like me!
Thanks for the explanation. Yes autistic women are faced to many predators during their lives. They are more susceptible to violence. Your video is precise.
Well, this dude's got my name, rank and serial number!! I'VE BEEN EXPOSED!!! OY VEY!! How do I feel about it?? Jeez, I dunno. Relieved that I'm not living under a rock or that I come from an intergalactic planet no one's ever heard of or would want to hear about. Glad I'm a woman with Aspie because I'm FREE to be imaginative, creative, caring, passionate about what interests me and what I care about. Being a woman with Aspies, no one can question my sexuality - still such a vital issue with men, and something I hope will change extremely quickly for the good of all humankind and a better, more peaceful world. I'm not saying that women are gentler, more peaceful creatures, however, not by a long f***ing shot!! 98% of the bullying, cruelty and degradation I suffered that lead me to escape into imagination was at the hands of women, starting with my own mother. But to have had masculinity and virility to add to my anxieties and esteem deficiencies would have sent me over the edge with a plastic bag over my head!! 😬
Please note - motherhood is "if" not "when." In countries where contraception and abortion are available, women have agency over their own reproductive systems, and can choose whether or not to have children at all. And given that more and more women who have the choice are choosing not to have children, using "women" and "mother" as synonyms is inaccurate at best.
How to get screened in the United States when raised as female, transitioned to male 25 years ago. Screened then by three psychologists to rule out and Axis II. Approved for surgery. Content with results. Psychology major who dropped out last semester to go into "caring profession." Lost job after 26 years because of new productivity billing increase standard in corporate industry. Lack of social skills to communicate rapidly and establish rapport. Went to request an ASD screening referral and was instead given an Axis II disorder by a new medical doctor who insisted I go to inpatient psychiatric where I needed to accept the Axis II including her opinion all my surgeries were a mistake. I explained to her I "knew enough at 52 to know I didn't have AxisII behavior because I dated two of them." She said only a doctor could tell me who I was and she knew that was an an Axis II. Because I lost my job my insurance went through but was retroactively pulled. I owed her 479.00 which took me six months to get paid. Had I followed her instructions and gone to inpatient it would have been 3,500 per day and I was going to be there a LONG time if doctors expected me to behave well in a new environment and convince me my transition and surgeries were a mistake. No Axis II needs to go through transition or surgery...for a reason. I have enough of a self identity, I have no regrets...but other than my psychiatrist of 4 years who gave me the ASD diagnosis after I saw the medical doctor...I have nothing. The psychiatrist just died unexpectedly. 8 months later, I am still not changing my story, I pay my bills, but I will be homeless very soon if I don't get some help.
Hi, how can I tell someone that I think she had Asperger? She is my ex girlfriend just breakup again who live with her parents we are still in contact… without they think I only want shittalk about her… she got many of this symptome copying mostly her mom, hate to left her home (we lived together), she getting nervous, want to go home asap, I feel she cant read emotions really well, she use common comunication panels, which doesnt fit in the situations, tonn of silly routine like she have to watch disney movie to fall a sleep. non-autonomous, really naive on the first week she told me her credit card pin number and so, problem in every social situation, she got frustrated and turn silent front of other people, take everything direct!!! sometimes just turn off and stare nothing… just applied 8th different uni/course in last 5 year without finishing any of them and all because she wasnt able communicare there, only boy “friends” from the past many of them take advantage of her “naivety”. now she really mad at me, but I have to communicate it somehow.
Can you keep with it. I'm a male, open minded and staying open minded is a great asset to you. A spiritual fortitude will also help with the challenges. This man sounds like a natural leader. It's almost in 10,000 years of human history for people to follow the leader. Just be aware there are so those not so nice men, and women, who will manipulate a humane naiviety for power. Power is delivered through grace.
Thank you doc for your good work It’s been months now and my child has improved completely since using your herbs. His therapist and school teacher has confirmed his improvement and this makes me happy God bless you Dr Idemudia
Why haven't I been diagnozed years ago!? I could have very different life. I am now 35 year old woman with heroin addiction and chronic illness. I could have become professional artist or fashion model if I new about my Asperger early...
This is very common for the autistic woman. The criteria were and for the most part still are based around males on the spectrum. They are getting better at recognizing that females often present differently and mr attwood is one of the forerunners, but it is far from equal even today.
There's a small part I don't agree with concerning the more introvert types with the delay when 'thinking' of how to respond, and that is, when they get upset, they INSTANTLY know how to respond and what to say. I know much of Earth is much WEAKER than the old school folk & baby-up everything, but i'm of a similar mind with them - If its not consistent, then they don't have the problem they portray.
![[#2024MAMA] BIGBANG (빅뱅) - 뱅뱅뱅 (BANG BANG BANG) + FANTASTIC BABY | Mnet 241123 방송](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/EQsYfiPR9uM/mqdefault.jpg)
![[#2024MAMA] ROSÉ (로제), Bruno Mars - APT. | Mnet 241122 방송](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/dgGqD28J6aQ/mqdefault.jpg)
The rest of the world needs to catch up with this knowledge. I still live in an imaginary world and relate to animals as my best friends.
I hear you!!!
The Lotus same!
The Lotus you are very welcome!
Me too it’s a safe space
Me too all the time even though i am different and who i want to be in my imagination lol and also have body i want to have lol
I can 100% relate to this video. I am almost 35 and just discovered I have Asbergers. I broke down when I found out. Everything that’s ever happened in my entire life makes sense. I am an Italian woman (from the U.S) and I was in turmoil as a kid as to why I wasn’t the typical Italians women and couldn’t express myself. My family made it aware to me and I felt like an alien. Great video!
Malgorzata Wojtys That’s funny because I’ve been trying to move to England for that very reason. It’s been rather difficult as I’d need a special skill and a job offer to even get a work visa to move there. How did you manage it if you don’t mind me asking?
Malgorzata Wojtys Ah yes, I forgot there’s no visa requirement if you’re European. I have been to Scotland and it’s lovely. I really enjoyed the way of life there. Maybe someday I’ll be able to move over there. Glad it worked out for you.
@@malgorzatawojtys9846 I was close friends with an actor who resided in London, and when I visited him, I was very impressed with the less-pressured, more laidback lifestyle as compared to that in the US. Here in the US, it's much more aggressive and competitive - tomorrow's work must be completed yesterday, if not sooner! 🙃 My actor friend tried to get me a job as a mental health practitioner in London through a friend of his who was an administrator in the field, but even his influence couldn't get me a foot in the door. Our two cultures just didn't jibe. When my actor friend informed me that jobs in England are unionized and that upon hire, you automatically got 3 weeks holiday time, I was FLOORED!! Here in the US, only 13% of jobs are unionized, and in most jobs you have to work at least a year before earning one week of vacation time!! A whole different ballgame!
Hey, Eliscia if you are still on TH-cam...I’m 30, same story. Good for you my love, we made it, I really hope the past couple years have been marvellous for you :)
Me too. 58 Years old. Cried for 3 days.
30+ yrs consulting Drs for suicidal depression, anxiety, low self-esteem; not ONE even *mentioned* Aspergers! *Finally* diagnosed, I believe AS is a gift to society; it's the clever, kind, creative, honest, tolerant & interesting people, but I'm also sad for so many years I spent determined to 'mend' me - Self-help books, alcohol
Same, esp the drugs. Dxed with borderline for years; aged away from it after age 45, and finally reassessed as ASD and complex PTSD, from social trauma. It's wonderful that so many interventions exist for folks under, say, 35, but as for those older, so much seems futile. No wonder addiction is a huge, if still unspoken, problem among Aspie adults. Peace to you.
Mozarts Sister same here I agree with you
Snap!
i'm 16 i believe i have this ... i'm just so stressed right now. i've been suicidal since i was a child bc of how difficult things are for me and how different i am from other people
The Mercury: Oh, DO I HEAR YOU!! SHAKE HANDS WITH ANOTHER SISTER!! When I was diagnosed a few months ago - I'm 58 years old - I was distressed then furious all these years went by being plagued as a freak, an oddball, "off the wall," and "too unconventional for my own good." I was detested for being articulate, scorned for "caring too much," laughed at for shedding tears over a beautiful sunset and my first view of NYC's skyline. People's feelings toward me made me feel ashamed and hate myself. I took refuge in performing and creative art, but I got my greatest pleasure downing opiods because they bandaged my self-doubt and anxiety. Now I know what makes me ME, and I actually feel blessed!! 😍
As an aspie, I accidentally started crying because every single thing he said (including the relationship thing) was 100% super true. EVERY SINGLE THING!!!
Crying too but I don’t know if I’m on the spectrum or not :’(
Same!
Well don't you feel that been herd after all this time then X 😊
I don't think I've ever related to a 6 minute video this much in my life. I was very anxious as a child, in fact I had selective mutism, which can occur more often in children with ASD than NT kids. However, I was a very "well behaved" child, especially in school. I was terrified of getting in trouble, being noticed, being singled out. I felt that if I were singled out, then everyone would realize that I was different. I learned how to project a mask in social situations, a mask that I still wear, in order to pass as "normal". I was obsessed with fantasy novels, imaginary play, and have always had a strong affinity toward animals. I have been called the Cat Whisperer for many years, and I consider my cats to be some of my closest friends. I have always gravitated toward caregiver goals, and have always experienced an enormous amount of empathy, as well as being predisposed to compassion fatigue. I feel like a sponge sometimes in that I absorb the pain of other people and of animals to such a degree that I often feel overwhelmed, almost as though I am directly experiencing that pain myself. I began drinking and using drugs at a young age. It made me feel more comfortable with socializing. I always wanted to be social, but found it painful in a way, and drinking especially numbed that pain and allowed me to be a person that I just wasn't naturally. I have noticed in my two years of being sober that I do not socialize nearly as much as I used to. I find it SO exhausting, and if I am in a social group situation, I have to put so much effort into trying to say and do the right thing that I often break down afterwards from being overstimulated and burnt out, like my battery has become critically low. Afterwards, I need lots of time to recharge, and it will often be weeks or even months before I am prepared to socialize in a group again. I have fallen prey to predatory men throughout my dating life, especially when I was younger, not able to fully grasp the fact that some people will purposefully abuse and use people. I could never imagine myself doing that or imagine that people could be that cruel, so I wasn't able to protect myself as well as I should have. I have recently come to the conclusion, upon researching just how differently girls and women present with ASD vs their male counterparts, that I must have ASD. I haven't identified with a diagnoses as strongly as this in a while; the other times I have felt that was when I realized that I was an addict and also a codependent. Realizing that I likely have autism explains SO much of my life, the past and the present, how I feel about myself and how I interact with the world. I have had the almost horrifying realization that I don't truly know who I am without the "mask", as I am so used to having it on, sometimes more and sometimes less of course, depending on the situation and who I am with. However, it is almost always on to some degree. It's scary, but also I feel intense relieve, to finally know that there wasn't anything wrong with me to begin with. I am not a failure, I am just different.
I concur with everything you say :-)
Girl...same
I could have written the same myself.
Just found out at 73 years old that I' m an Aspie female ...always felt like an alien who was sent here to study humans (still don't understand them) LOL
Mee too :( but 35. I feel like I have lost most of my life, want to end or start over.
That's a really big deal, to be diagnosed in your later life?
I hope this helps you overcome any difficulties you might have experienced :) wishing you well ❤
I find psychology very interesting, I’ve just realised I have always watched people and how they react to situations and memorised them and then copied them, I mask and it is very tiring, I’m 35 an only last year did the penny drop an I hibernated from everyone for a month, it’s mind blowing to go through so many years of life not realising you have asd, everything made sense, losing friends, people saying I’m rude or blunt when I never meant to be, social anxiety, taking comments literally, I’ve been a chameleon for years
Snap!
Me too but at 21. Of course with covid the asd-overload-hibernation doesn't even look weird anymore .. it's kind of enabling. 😅
@@kit10 DAMN STRAIGHT!! I belong to some arts associations, do water aerobics and volunteer at my local wildlife rehab center, all of which I dearly love but, because of my social anxiety, always dread having to prepare for. The closing down of everything due to covid has actually provided me with a respite from that anxiety!! It's an unhealthy, defeatist attitude in spades, but it's the god-honest truth.
Me too !!!!! When I learn new languages the thing I master the quicker is the accent/pronunciation specifications because I mimick it easily. I got into a fight with a friend who thought I was copying her too....
Yes, but the best part is once you stop caring about what others actually think, you become more of yourself, your authentic self. What I've noticed is when I wore that, "mask" and smiled all the time it was unnatural and people would still assume I was weird and rude as you say. I now stopped caring, I realised normal people LIVE for validation, if someone isn't smiling, talking to them, giving them attention, they feel like that person doesn't like them, their ego is bruised and then assume you're rude. But I, don't live for validation, I hate smiling 24/7 I feel it's unnatural when I smile at someone, I don't care if they don't want to talk, and don't mind if they smile back and say hi briefly and look away. I don't care for anybody to tell me I'm great with small pointless talk unless they actually care! the more I stopped changing to validate normal folk the more I noticed life is sweet. I still smile and say hi, I just stopped reading too much into it. Not long ago a woman stopped me and asked if everything was okay, to which I replied yes! She said she gets the feeling I don't like her. I said no not at all everything is well. She smiled and says great and walks away happy, the next few encounters I try and be more smiley and say hi to which she gets her phone out and starts talking out loud about her life etc, and starts to avoid me from then on. People like that I have nothing against but again I didn't and won't validate people for fun,small talk isn't my thing, I like to work, earn money and take care of my kids, and husband. The world is a bigggg place and a lot of different people walking around going through hardships for me to be worrying about how I come across. Those days are over for me I'm living my best life lol
Absolutely spot on for me.......now what? I am a 74 year old recently retired pediatric occupational therapist, and a damn good one. I related so well with my kiddos and learned so much. As I look back I realize how therapeutic they were for me. I recently came upon articles about female autism and was blown away. Explains every single thing I have struggled with in my life. So what do I do now?
The shame I have dealt with for decades because I always have tried to hide that I am different and and I always have to figure out how to react. It's easier to be alone. Safer. I am not stupid but it's probably easy to take advantage of me. For that reason I am extremely wary of everyone. Why don't people just be straightforward? What is the truth? I can understand facts. Unfortunately the gray areas are a puzzle without clues. I can tell stories about anything. It's very comforting to explore different realities. Interesting.
Same for me. Take care
@@velvetindigonight Me three! The advantage to getting older is that so much of what mattered when you were younger - fitting in, doing what you "should" be doing, "keeping up with the Joneses" - or exceeding them 😄 - becomes stale and tiresome. Been there, done that, life is short, so for Chrissakes, IT'S TIME TO START LIVING FOR YOURSELF! There's the power of a mighty sword in each strand of gray hair, even if you dye it! 😉
I didn't pursue a career in psychology because listening to the horrible stuff people do to each other is heavy on a soul.
I am in tears as I watch this, at 45 I still struggle to get a diagnosis. But this video here, this helps me know who I am is ok. I cannot believe that a person I have never met can describe me so accurately.
I am a psychotherapist with Aspergers!! Thank you so much for all your videos!
Dr. Atwood knows me deep down in my soul without looking at me! He even knows exactly what happened to my life!
I was just told I am not on the spectrum for all the traitss you just described, like that I am caring & good with kids, even though my AQ is 49 out of 50. The psychiatrist said I was too smart to be on the spectrum.
I was so relieved when a previous psychologist said I was on the spectrum, and felt I finally found my tribe. But she apparently never wrote it in my file as official.
Now I can't stop crying & am not sure why.
Odd. Einstein, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs are all thought to have (had) Asperger's. I have the NVLD variant: top scores on all the verbal/language subtests, average math, but below average processing and visual spatial scores, the median in the superior range, hardly Einsteinian. I feel you on the tears, tho--there is so very much to grieve.
Stephanie Soressi because you have been validated as an individual for the first time in your life and don’t feel alone. It is extremely emotional
Because you have an answer for why you are you
@@juliadixon4810 , and Thomas Jefferson, too!!!~
She didn't write it on your file because you need to go to an actual assessment lol
I'm very much into psychology myself, and have been thinking about pursuing a career in psychology. I'm inspired. I'd like to be one of the ones involved in creating that psychotherapy!
l've attended psychology... started in 2004, it was hell. l was bullied a lot, group assignements were a nightmare, dealing will all the 'bichty' behaviour, with professors judging performance by social abilities rather than intellectual ones, the stress of exams. On my own, l could pull a 19 out of 20, so it's not by lack of cognitive capacity. lt was just to much and l dropped. l want to come back, though, and get my masters.
l wasn't diagnosed, so l think that can make a lot of difference.
Do it! I'm in psych right now in university. It's eye opening! :)
Luisa Onofre why would you want to work with a bunch of sociopaths?
Thinking about all of the comments in this thread, including Luisa Onofre’s horrendous experiences, let me add that those are exactly the kind of experiences my oldest daughter has had in college. She is still struggling to get through, and only a small percent of the professors have truly accommodated her as required by the Americans with Disabilities Act, etc. Work is no better. She has gone into many of the areas that Tony Atwood talks about, as has for many years been interested in Japanese anime and does cosplay, which I have fully supported of course. I went to many “cons” when she was in middle and high school, acting as the adult who chaperones my daughter and many friends and acquaintances who enjoy staying at the hotels. She also has worked as an animal groomer professionally, and also shows dogs which she hopes to do more in the future. So her interests fit exactly into what he described. It’s so nice to hear someone like Tony who clearly understands adult Aspies. I seriously hope you all do pursue psychology. We have another daughter who is in grad school pursuing her doctorate in clinical psychology. I’ve learned how many literally dozens of career types that a psychology degree will allow you to pursue, and it’s truly exciting! So go for it!
Marissa: GO FOR IT!! I was a mental health practitioner for 30 years, and there are so many exciting new avenues in the field to explore!
I was said I can’t be on the spectrum because I have such a vivid imagination. Autistic people are supposed to be interested in small part of machines, in the mechanics of it and incapable of imaginary play. This masculine diagnostic criteria can be fatal for girls on the spectrum. I was in psychiatric care and therapy since I am eight years old, but always with a different diagnosis. ADHD, emotional disorder, social anxiety... never did they really get my problem and they still don’t. It is frustrating. Finally I know why I am different and that there are people like me out there and than I can’t be part of this group because I am female😭
I have been in treatment since age 14. I have been given 15 different psychiatric diagnoses over the years. Some were taken away. I have 4 currently. I feel like my progress has stalled. My case manager used to assess people with autism. She told me she thought I had autism. I looked into it and it makes sense.
Yes!! Aspire therapy: by Aspies, for Aspies!!
Luke Bearden is a younger psychologist on the spectrum. Tho I am over 50, I'm thrilled to see Aspie mental health professionals getting their doctorates and developing therapies.
Something has happened in the U.S. since they quit having Aspergers as a diagnosis. Now they are loathe to diagnose adults.
You're an amazing man & an absolute credit to those on the spectrum! I'm going to add this video to both my channels....
Just diagnosed with Autism today. It's a relief really. I've been off-the-rails most of my life. I'm 55. Life is a game on hard mode.
Hoping to get support whereby I might be able to socialise. What if I just hate it? What if I'm too ingrained now to be able to socialise? What if I just love being alone? Ugh, I'm panicking and overthinking as usual.
I have a son with high functioning autism and I really relate to the chameleon type of personality. I always read books when I was young and very very gullible. I was excellent at spelling always perfect scores.
I resonate so much with this. I’m 36 and I finally figured out why I always feel weird have a hard time connecting with people.Constantly questioning myself if I’m a good mother. Gullible and I always think through what I will say lol
I followed Mr Attwood for quite while, but found that his work only looks at the outward characteristics of people with ‘Aspergers’. I actually believed this was all that I was - someone ‘with Aspergers’!
However, I knew that there were reasons for my dysfunctional beliefs about myself, my ADHD, my loneliness, my lack of self-worth, my perfectionism, etc, and have since found the work of Dr Gabor Maté, who has written amazing books about ADHD, beliefs about the self, addictions and his latest, “The Myth of Normal”. He also now gives talks around the world and has a plethora of interviews online, where he explains how childhood traumas, even going back through generations, influence our emotional well-being and beliefs about who we are.
His work has changed my life!
i escape into making art and sharing it online.
ME TOO!! 👍👍👍👍❤
I feel like you're talking about me. I'm 46 and it makes me sad that I've always felt 'not right' and I'm only figuring out why now.
This is me all over. Thank you Tony.
Five minutes of this man absolutely READING me! WOW 🙌
I was only diagnosed once I couldn't mask anymore, and I didn't even know that I was masking!
Arrivare a capirsi...e'un lavoro lungo..E faticoso...ma ci si arriva.Meglio tardi (Anche con tanta sofferenza)che mai.Complimenti e grazie a chi carica questi video.
I was taken advantage of several times and never could comprehend until years later
It’s the 1st video i watch on Women Aspergers and it feels as if you’re describing me......
...and i’m 44 years old. A lifetime with chronic depression.
This is brilliant, Tony. I always leave your videos filled with hope. You are the antidote to everything else.
Oddly enough, I'm a (teen) guy in the process of diagnosis and this 100% describes me. Thanks 4 the help... just don't forget us fems too :)
Okay, but did I miss the part where he talked about Comorbid disorders?
Lots more talks by Prof Attwood here on YT so do have a search basically borderline personality disorder or bipolar often diagnosed in error as psychiatry don't appear to have become aware of the reality of Aspergers/Autism Spectrum Conition 1 yet. Painful. At 61 it was finally such a relief to find out why my life had been such a struggle. I identified through Prof Attwoods lecture her on YT 'Girls and Aspergers' and am waiting for a full assesment. I'm an ex sociol worker so I can see I fit the criteria............ Take care
ADHD is one very common comorbidity.
Also anxiety and depression. There are many more as well.
This evening in the local shop I was asked if I wanted a bag for my groceries. I was slow to respond to such a simple question because I was trying to calculate do I need one and my fiancé said no, we don't. Job done, and I love him for little things like that.
Bigger questions such as having children: for me it was always absolutely not, for as Tony said Aspie women often don't make good choices when it comes to partners and I never felt I'd found a man who would be a good father for children until I met the man I'm now with (who is an amazing hubby-to-be and dad to his adult son), but it's a bit late for that. I wasn't even sure I'd have made a good mother, although I'd have been as devoted to a child as my mother was to me, albeit maybe too much so I'd probably have become totally obessed with their wellbeing and education. It was illogical and irresponsible to become a parent under those circumstances.
Aged 47 (and failing to take into account pre-menopausal changes, which I still don't understand and dont care about, to my mind that's what an IUD is for) I had a pregnancy scare with my good man and I cried hard, knowing I was too old to start this journey and wishing I'd met him 10 years earlier.
As things stand NOT having children was the right thing for me, I wouldn't have risked little ones getting fucked up because of my ways, which I haven't sussed the why of until recently. I only hope generations to come gain more understanding of themselves and don't miss out like I did. I'm not sore about it, I just wish I knew what I was earlier so I would have been better able to judge my own behaviour and plan my life.
What do we do with the grief? Dxed after 5 years of suspicion in 2018, and currently mourning the life I might have had were I diagnosed as a teen or in my 20s....
@@juliadixon4810 Grief, Guilt, Shame and Regret... you can only do more research on this condition to better your understanding of yourself and become your own healer... 98% of doctors made the decision only against becoming a lawyer instead.
Irene: GOOD FOR YOU!!! It takes heart and guts to put the care and well-being of children above whether or not to have them!! I think too many people have kids because they only THINK they want to have them, or believe they SHOULD have them or have them for the wrong reasons ("someone to look after us in our old age", that's my all-time favorite, hohoho). I made the decision not to have kids when I was a mere kid myself. To start, I despised baby dolls and toy strollers and play kitchens and all that "mommy" crud as a child, and not much later I began witnessing my folks' miserable, violent marriage and knew I would abstain from such a life by any means necessary. I kept my word and do not regret my decision in the least bit. My children are my pets.
@Awkward Autistic What more is there in life? I personally don't know of any parents who haven't fucked up, which is natural because parents are human beings. But I do know children who DO NOT love their parents, and that's a tragedy. Your kids love you, and that's beautiful!! ❣❣❣
@@annak2575 "98% of doctors made the decision only against becoming a lawyer instead" - that.
This is like describing my life..
I can relate to everything in this discription. I am waiting for my evaluation after my daughter got her diagnosis.
Provide a short list....here....
I was unable to bond with my children. I was looking around seeing literally everyone else being able to do this effortlessly. This made me feel like some kind of freak anomaly, so I hid under a rock and cried more than anyone else I've ever heard of, for years. This is what hurt me the most, I want that bond more than anything I could ever think of. I didn't know I was autistic until I was 57, this year. Now it all makes sense and I can forgive myself. I am not the horrible, heartless, P.o.S. my family insists that I am. I am so much stronger, honest, and smarter than they will ever know.
I found out I'm an aspie bc of my 3rd child, Isaiah. Hes me, put into a blender, & poured into a little boys body. So I thought maybe I had Aspergers syndrome as well. It turns out I do. It explains and answers all my questions and holes in my life up until now, 44 yrs. I always thought maybe I was part alien. But now I want to meet other aspie females so i can have ppl to relate to.
How do you know this so precisely - amazing!!
absolutely true i reconize myself in this
Thank you for this interview. What are the distinguishing features of a woman with AS vs one with CPTSD? And what about a woman with both AS and CPTSD?
It's like he's talking about me. I looove animals the most and I'm a kindergarten teacher. Kids love me and I love them when I'm at work. But as soon as I'm off the work I'll do anything to not come into contact with kids. I'm great with kids but I can't talk with their parents. When parents come pick them up I'm still talking to the kids and can barely say anything to the parents, if I do, it's always the same thing.
wow, so spot on. All of it.
Additionally, the CC of this talk is hilarious
Exactly, scripted communication. It's much less anxiety inducing than the kind of socializing at parties where people's purposes and intentions are not clear. When I was young I got involved in a group that taught public speaking skills and despite being really shy I was surprisingly good at making speeches I liked drama class too in high school. I am also pretty empathetic despite the stereotype that Autistic people aren't. I'm a male with Aspergers, but I can relate to a lot of this. I think part of why women with Aspergers/Autism don't get identified is they aren't expected at a young age to play sports and or to act more socially assertive. For males with Autism it can be hard to find a romantic partner having to initiate things, for females the challenge is probably more, not picking the wrong ones... I would actually love to be a therapist and maybe help other Autistic people but I struggle with school and getting through 8+ more years of it.
Absolutely relating! Thank you very much!
So so spot on!
- Yes LOVE psychology (but out of the box psychology, not the textbook stuff). I did counselling for a short time till people began crying at 55 minutes into the session (and I'd always go overtime because I didn't have the heart to shove them out the door).
- Didn't have children - I wanted very high standards and a strong marriage - so didn't think I was up for it (but have NO regrets).
- Did have dogs instead, and am mad about animals (I housesat for 2 years minding animals - best time of my life!)
- Best to be self employed if possible. (Tho I held down the same job for 11 years)
- Always felt like an alien
- Couldn't maintain close relationships with other females (not that I didn't want women as friends but I always sabotaged them)
- Related well to boys activities when younger (had a bmx bike, surfboard etc), didn't want to sit and talk about boys with a group of girls.
- Overall you CAN grow out of Borderline Personality Disorder (more prominent for me in my teenage/early 20's years),
- You do grow to become intuitive when older (48 now) - as you get burnt from trusting too much and being so naive in friendships
- Now I don't want to be around anyone. I am in a lovely relationship but struggle to death with any of his family social gatherings as they all talk about real estate, houses, material stuff.
- You can grow to just love yourself and be satisfied with that. When I housesat, animals were my instant family.
I was diagnosed with BPD but I didn't even meet 5 of the 9 requirements. I was sure glad when they took that diagnosis away. The mental health professionals treated me and other people diagnosed with BPD like shit.
This was great. I would like to add that this very much can be true for the atypical (sensing) man as well.
He just described my entire life, right down to reading and writing fantasy novels and the bad relationships.
"a typical mother intuitively knows how to be a good mother", as much as I respect Tony's word, he dropped the ball here. He chose politness v. reality. Many, many women dont have a clue, and the closer the mothers are to the c.XXI the worst. They are just as terrified as anyone else with a baby in their hands. If dont believe, just check the colossal number of baby blues and related issues.
I think a lot of what he's saying is coming from an old social model that rather idealizes many aspects of people in their social roles, especially women.
I feel happiest when I'm in Lalaland
I love the way Tony explains things. He is brilliant. I also found 2:16 hilarious when he tries to swear subtly hahaha
I love this guy, now I know why he is highly regarded
Brilliant video. Thank you for sharing. :)
Appreciate you so much. Your teaching style is easy to understand. What made you decide to specialize in Aspergers? Do/Did you have a family member, OR? Specialists like you, help people to understand themselves in greater depth than general practitioners. It makes a world of difference. The deeper knowledge, combined with focus and proper nutrition can improve our relationships and help us obtain more personal goals. thank you so much.
You described me. Dreamy, imagination, other worlds are better, well behaved, great actress ( in sales) I'm a mother. An offer achieving mother to a 15 yr old boy. We're exceptional together. I rock back and forth. I doubtful myself in public. But managed to create a lot of places to be alone i.e. car, my office, my home. I'm a great writer. I have a blog i use as a diary of sorts. To chew on ideas and concepts.
Thank you for this video.
Thank you so much for this!🙏🏻❤️😊
I can relate to a few of the characteristics of Autism Spectrum disorders, particularly from my growing-up years. But not all.
I've visited with a Psychologist, who suggests that I am more likely to fit into the Highly Sensitive Personality category. Professor Tony Attwood, what are your thoughts on this new way of categorising the experiences of adults? It this a helpful piece of information to have?
I can really relate to this video. As I myself find it easier with animals than people. I find behaviour interesting and often been told to stop staring. I did psychology and an currently doing Psychotherapy. I've had support over the years but only recently been asked if if been assessed for ASD. Only now I'm feeling that someone actually understands me.
I came here to pick him apart but he has actually just described me so...
hi do you think i have schizo aspergers?
Yes to all of these ... except for the still expression, if anything I exadurate my facial expressions ~ However, I am wondering if much of this is a learnt/masking thing. I am 37, and only after my son being recently diagnosed >And the Dr saying to me "I hope that you understand yourself a little better now too" have I gone aaah oh okay 😅
just remembered while watching this how in highschool there was a sort of little joke that one classmate used to say. it was about me taking a minute to reply to whatever he asked me. he used to be like "haha do you need more time to answer? haha" and i always said "no, i don't" but then learned it was sarcasm...
I love when he makes that "no" sound
Is there a benefit to getting diagnosed. I have dyslexia and aspergers. I really don't want to get diagnosed. I don't like that idea for some reason. In mid-30s I began to recognize my dyslexia for what it was and am almost completely self compensated. I am hopeful I can do the same for my aspergers now that I understand the "symptoms" and can see them for what they are. Isn't awareness enough? If I could self compensate for dyslexia - why not aspergers?
I'm not sure at all that I have asperger's but watching his videos and relating a lot to what he says.. I wished I could meet (and afford) an experienced psychiatrist to figure out what's wrong with me
Wow...
Im litterly crying right now !!!!!!!!!!
Omg he realy knows what hes talking about . Wow. I just found out I have Asperger's Syndrome
Autism spectrum disorder
I'm going through so many things right now it's incredibly hard this man truly doesn't know what he's talking about.
As an adult it's almost 50 years old I have four children five grandchildren in the part about being a mother really hit home.
Besides my culture Italian and Irish and African-American just being a female in the area that I grew up in the era where they had lack of knowledge about autism spectrum disorder and Asperger syndrome not enough research to help people cope and heal in measurable ways.
I live in the US and I'm finding that adult autism is just completely ignored and there really isn't much help here I'm considering moving it would be a challenge since I also have a agoraphobia.
It's been so frustrating but this gave me
Hope
Thank You
I wish you were my evaluator. I would be way more confident. I'm overprepared yet still scared with all I hear about difficulties evaluating women.
Suggest you watch his talk 'Girls and Aspergers' here on You Tube. Whenever I question my 'self identified' Aspergers I watch it again and reminds me he is describing my childhood and me. Good Luck with your assesment. I've got another 27 months to wait................ Here is his brilliant talk.............th-cam.com/video/wfOHnt4PMFo/w-d-xo.html
Very true everything he said
One thing Tony didn't mention is that being "a carer" is a culturally encouraged behaviour in females in the West. Females are actively punished for not showing caring behaviour throughout childhood. I care about animals and insects but can't stand the pressure or continuous attention needed to be a carer for them, let alone humans. "Caring" is a way to show loyalty and keep friendships, punishable by ostracism and rejection. It annoyed me he was like, oh ALL of the females are good to go into "caring" professions. What year was this interview? I hope he's learned better by now! We're not ALL the same, some might be good carers but others might be better being in Marketing or Town Planning or Chemistry Research. The careers he mentions are symptomatic of a minority gaining recognition and power and of cultural bias.
Not only in the west! It is world wide!!!
Later diagnosis and studying psychology so future studies Tony let me know :)
I think my wife might be an "aspie". What can I do for her as a supportive husband?
+TuxedoMobileDJ First of all, she is the one who needs to determine if she is an Aspie. If she is, and recognizes herself as such, ask HER what you can do to be supportive.
I like the fact that your priority is to adapt to that possibility and be as supportive as possible to your wife. :)
For a start, I think the whole situation might be easier to address if she came to the same conclusion herself and tried to get confirmation that she is indeed an Aspie. Maybe you could casually broach the subject and see if she relates to the experiences of other people on the spectrum ? This way, you would be able to openly discuss it together, identify in what ways her possible Asperger's traits manifest, and she could tell you directly how to effectively support her, which is always a good way to avoid misunderstandings.
Another thing that may be helpful is reading and watching informative videos on the subject, especially on the specific characteristics of AS in women and advice for neurotypical people in a relationship with someone on the spectrum. You can try some of the recommended approaches out, see if they help or not and keep those that seem to have better results for you.
But I think honest communication remains the most important aspect. Don't be afraid to ask your partner how she feels about some of the things you may have noticed you perceive differently and what she thinks could help you understand each other better. As a woman with Asperger myself, I always appreciate other people's sincere efforts to reach out and make things easier for me, and if an issue is brought up gently, I will also try to adapt to their needs the best I can.
Stop thinking that, you are judging her, I hope she will run away from you as quick as possible, if it hasn't been done yet.
@@jeffpom7868
My husband brought up that I may be autistic one day, and I never saw it as a judgement.
I was venting one of my problems to him, in the botched way I usually do, and he thought it might be a good time to bring it up.
It is actually the only way I came to consider it, and guess what? I am 99 percent sure that I'm an Aspie. Also, Our 8 year old is going for a diagnosis in December; The facility also evaluates adults and I will ask about setting an appointment up for myself, too. I'm sure this commenter isn't judging his wife so much as he has noticed similar traits in his wife, that Aspies or Aspie Women have.
My husband had many autistic friends growing up, and after 5 years of noticing similarities in myself, he finally felt confident enough in his observations, to bring up the possibility of me being an Aspie.
I'm extremely thankful to him for bringing it to my attention. I finally understand myself and feel like I know exactly who I am now. I struggled with not knowing who I was my whole life, and now everything makes sense. I am also able to advocate for myself better.
Someone who truly loves, cares for, and accepts their partner for who they are, brings up important things like this. They're life changing, for the better, in my opinion.
@@briehoward2006 That video is worthless. Coming from another person, it means nothing. I am Asperger, but it took over 4 years and before, it was just named something else by the specialists, very best in my country, so yeah! It is just a fashion, don't forget that. I don't feel anything related to other Asperger. It's good that it helped you in the beginning, I too had a big revelation, but I just don't relate to people.
It sounds like Aspergers is part of my problem
Dr Attwood: I'm an older woman on the spectrum. I have profound sensory integration issues, manifesting as misophonia, w the usual trigger sounds, smacking noises chief among them. I really want to partake of your wisdom, but the smacking.....if it really can't be helped, how about hiring someone to edit it out?????
This is really fucking weird because I literally just felt like I was fully understood by a man who had never met me.
I wish I could talk to him one on one 😫
I wish you could know me and tell me if I am probably an aspie or not it would make things so much easier. I am going through the process of getting an aspie evaluation. It is a very emotional process. At 39yrs old it feels weird. It puts my whole life in questioning. After an adhd diagnosis that I did on the spure of the moment not realizing the depth of what I was doing. I have a difficulty understanding myself and being precise in my explanations. Expressing myself has always been difficult. It makes me mad. Everything is so complex. It's not just a no or yes answer. It's often relative. Or the question is to vague to answer. How can I be truthful if the precision is not there. It's frustrating. Part of me thinks that I am an aspie and another part of me eats away at me with doubt. Life is really difficult these days. I finished school which I love like crazy. I got a job and then got fired because I'm too slow and now I have to wait three weeks to start looking for jobs. It's driving me crazy I find work stressful but not having a routine is worse. I should be enjoying my vacation but it's hard. I wonder if I will be good enough. I just want my routine back but maybe a less stressful one which is my goal. Anyways good video. :)
The neocortex is the newest evolved part of the brain where experiences that transcend language occur. Processing sensations with analytical brains can cause perceptions that are unique. Have you tried being silent for periods? Just days of autism can help you connect to these inner processes and then you analyze how you relate to others.
Feel for you I'm slow at everything especially reading and writing even though I've got the equavalent of a degree I sweated for it. Can I suggest you wacth Prof Attwood's brilliant talk 'Girls and Aspergers' and everytime you wobble re watch it?th-cam.com/video/wfOHnt4PMFo/w-d-xo.html
Also I'm looking into having some form of dyslexia assesment which often go's with Aspergers maybe it is something for you to consider?
Finally, have a routine and what do you really like to do and make it your career, alongside of looking after yourself really well. Such a relief though to know that there is nothing wrong with us we are simply different and this bonkers society does not suit us! Stats are anything from 1 in 38 to 70 people are on the spectrum that is a lot of people. Take care
Knowing that this video was made 7 years ago, it's no surprise my email was failed to be delivered. Please, I am trying to get ahold of a professional when it comes to woman with Asperger's. I believe I am myself and currently I am seeking a diagnosis but I am afraid they won't help me because they don't have enough experience
I don't know about having a still face or taking a while to reply (although I do police behaviour) but the first part is just a description of my childhood and teenage years, down to the piercings. Uncanny!
Why aren’t girls still not getting dx in the uk
I want him to be my doctor... This is the second video of him I watched talking about Asperger's and he displays such open knowledge on men and women Asperger's, no signs of bias, easy to understand etc. Everything he has described is basically my whole life... I've heard that it's easy to misdiagnose women and I'm afraid that if I go for my diagnosis, I'll get a wrong diagnosis 😔
I have the same concern....I don't have faith in professionals being up to date with women and Aspergers ...I know there is a masking questionnaire but a lot don't mention it as being part of their assessments
Thankyou for this
Crying
Aspies women can smile sometimes, meanwhile we are relax. for my own experience i keep a straight face when i’m not feeling confortable, when i have to stay for many hours rounded by a lot of people in the same place, for example the school, i can’t help the fact that is difficult to me to stare at the people, and when i do, it’s just for few seconds. But we can smile 🤷🏻♀️😊
I tend to slide over into 'roles' too,in order to underscore points,it gets a bit to realistic sometimes and people go wtf.Like telling my 7 year old ,ehhh ,why can't I get to play with the toy?Or telling a control freak ,you can't tell me what to do,you aren't my real dad.Both said in a kids way.
I had to look away because I was enjoying the Italian subtitles too much.
I've been unofficially counseling people my whole life...people just come to me for some reason. I considered majoring in psychology, but college was just too kindergarten for me. I felt like I was wasting my time, even after testing out of the maximum number of classes. Independent studies should be valued more in this country. That would be HUGE for Aspies like me!
he's pretty much describing me, that was shocking to see.
Thanks for the explanation. Yes autistic women are faced to many predators during their lives. They are more susceptible to violence. Your video is precise.
Just take your time getting to know people in slow small steps. Eventually they will show their true colors.
Well, this dude's got my name, rank and serial number!! I'VE BEEN EXPOSED!!! OY VEY!! How do I feel about it?? Jeez, I dunno. Relieved that I'm not living under a rock or that I come from an intergalactic planet no one's ever heard of or would want to hear about. Glad I'm a woman with Aspie because I'm FREE to be imaginative, creative, caring, passionate about what interests me and what I care about. Being a woman with Aspies, no one can question my sexuality - still such a vital issue with men, and something I hope will change extremely quickly for the good of all humankind and a better, more peaceful world. I'm not saying that women are gentler, more peaceful creatures, however, not by a long f***ing shot!! 98% of the bullying, cruelty and degradation I suffered that lead me to escape into imagination was at the hands of women, starting with my own mother. But to have had masculinity and virility to add to my anxieties and esteem deficiencies would have sent me over the edge with a plastic bag over my head!! 😬
Absolutely!!!
Please note - motherhood is "if" not "when." In countries where contraception and abortion are available, women have agency over their own reproductive systems, and can choose whether or not to have children at all. And given that more and more women who have the choice are choosing not to have children, using "women" and "mother" as synonyms is inaccurate at best.
I love this so muchh
How to get screened in the United States when raised as female, transitioned to male 25 years ago. Screened then by three psychologists to rule out and Axis II. Approved for surgery. Content with results. Psychology major who dropped out last semester to go into "caring profession." Lost job after 26 years because of new productivity billing increase standard in corporate industry. Lack of social skills to communicate rapidly and establish rapport. Went to request an ASD screening referral and was instead given an Axis II disorder by a new medical doctor who insisted I go to inpatient psychiatric where I needed to accept the Axis II including her opinion all my surgeries were a mistake. I explained to her I "knew enough at 52 to know I didn't have AxisII behavior because I dated two of them." She said only a doctor could tell me who I was and she knew that was an an Axis II. Because I lost my job my insurance went through but was retroactively pulled. I owed her 479.00 which took me six months to get paid. Had I followed her instructions and gone to inpatient it would have been 3,500 per day and I was going to be there a LONG time if doctors expected me to behave well in a new environment and convince me my transition and surgeries were a mistake. No Axis II needs to go through transition or surgery...for a reason. I have enough of a self identity, I have no regrets...but other than my psychiatrist of 4 years who gave me the ASD diagnosis after I saw the medical doctor...I have nothing. The psychiatrist just died unexpectedly. 8 months later, I am still not changing my story, I pay my bills, but I will be homeless very soon if I don't get some help.
What is axis ii
@@kit10 Axis II means a personality disorder.
Hi, how can I tell someone that I think she had Asperger? She is my ex girlfriend just breakup again who live with her parents we are still in contact… without they think I only want shittalk about her… she got many of this symptome copying mostly her mom, hate to left her home (we lived together), she getting nervous, want to go home asap, I feel she cant read emotions really well, she use common comunication panels, which doesnt fit in the situations, tonn of silly routine like she have to watch disney movie to fall a sleep.
non-autonomous, really naive on the first week she told me her credit card pin number and so, problem in every social situation, she got frustrated and turn silent front of other people, take everything direct!!! sometimes just turn off and stare nothing… just applied 8th different uni/course in last 5 year without finishing any of them and all because she wasnt able communicare there, only boy “friends” from the past many of them take advantage of her “naivety”. now she really mad at me, but I have to communicate it somehow.
Can you keep with it. I'm a male, open minded and staying open minded is a great asset to you. A spiritual fortitude will also help with the challenges. This man sounds like a natural leader. It's almost in 10,000 years of human history for people to follow the leader. Just be aware there are so those not so nice men, and women, who will manipulate a humane naiviety for power. Power is delivered through grace.
Thank you doc for your good work
It’s been months now and my child has improved completely since using your herbs.
His therapist and school teacher has confirmed his improvement and this makes me happy
God bless you Dr Idemudia
Por favor en español,necesito
Great video
Why haven't I been diagnozed years ago!? I could have very different life. I am now 35 year old woman with heroin addiction and chronic illness. I could have become professional artist or fashion model if I new about my Asperger early...
This is very common for the autistic woman. The criteria were and for the most part still are based around males on the spectrum. They are getting better at recognizing that females often present differently and mr attwood is one of the forerunners, but it is far from equal even today.
🙌♥️🙌
There's a small part I don't agree with concerning the more introvert types with the delay when 'thinking' of how to respond, and that is, when they get upset, they INSTANTLY know how to respond and what to say. I know much of Earth is much WEAKER than the old school folk & baby-up everything, but i'm of a similar mind with them - If its not consistent, then they don't have the problem they portray.
Life and response times are inconsistent. Anger could get rid of the pause time because they are no longer being careful what they say.