I Fixed Oblivion
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ก.ย. 2024
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In this episode I break down what didn't work with Oblivion and rebuild the story to help you identify and fix problems in your story.
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Instagram: @mowery
Twitter: @JTylerMowery
#Rewriting #Storytelling
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You should make videos like these more often. Maybe on a separate channel, like *_"Tyler Doctors Your Script"_* or something. And you try to present legitimate attempts at fixing scripts that had promise but were sadly let down by the execution.
Everything is good until 19:07
Jack shouldn't be lead and assisted to get to the radiation zone
He should choose to go there by himself
Good rewrite! I like this movie a lot, the concept and visual/audio execution are amazing, but you're right it lacked some depth in character development.
Agreed. I really like Oblivion too. This version would be a more compelling story, but I'm still happy with what we got.
@@langdons2848 l
Yea I really love this film and thought it was perfect on my first viewing. I think many of us were too distracted by how beautiful everything was to notice flaws or our own lack of emotion.
Dude i literally started clapping at your surprise twist. I've always enjoyed this movie but you seriously just blew this up. I felt every beat. Sykes "being energized by Jack" .. what a cool and inspiring moment that could have been. The speech where Sykes explains jack needs to lead them, so good. And Sykes trying give the people an escape,, but they stay. Just wow. I got shivers at your last moment. Thank you for this.
wow
didn't know people didn't like Oblivion
it was cool, sci-fi was good, acting was good, ending was happy one
Right? I thought it was received positively.
I really hate to be that guy, but when referring to characters or plots, it's "arc", not "arch". The arc of a story is similar to the arc of a throw, not the arch of a bridge, or my spine, for instance. Great video, btw!
A bit nit-picky. I feel like if the meaning is understood its shouldn’t matter. I do understand your point though and your reasoning for making it.
@@straps-of-skin I don't feel that it's nit-picky. Most of us here are writers or aspiring writers, which means words are our tools, so it does matter. I'm glad that someone corrected such a fundamental error with a key term in script-writing - especially since the whole video is about correcting errors!
Do you have to clearly state which viewpoint is the correct one? Or can you explore the consequences of both and kinda make them equal answers depending on each characters situation/circumstance?
He does say you should present the pros and cons of each side.
@@TomEyeTheSFMguy does that mean you dont have to have one “win out” like narratively speaking
@@straps-of-skin I don't know what he said about one side winning. To be honest, I don't know.
make a video explaining how to make a book adaptation for the cinema please.
Really likes how you did this video, Tyler. Would love to see more "fixes" for movies that should have been better.
Wow bro, you need to be a script doctor. I love oblivion. I just didn’t know why it didn’t have emotional weight for me.
Can you make a video that shows how to get someone other than your Wife and friends to read your screenplay?
Thanks for this video! Like normal really helpful!
I like this Tyler. Oblivion was already a decent movie but would have been better.
Guys im starting to think the film doesn't have any philosophical conflict
Oh my god
Man, this is one of the first movies that made me intrested in creating stories. And it's very surprising how better this movie could have been.
Thank you for the video!
I can just feel the rush of emotions listening to your version and I can’t help but think how perfect it could have been. I’m sure I overrated this film due to how visually stunning it was.
I wonder if after Morgan Freeman was confirmed they did a rewrite to include him in the finale.
Loved it!! Oblivion was a fantastic movie. These edits would have made it outstanding
There's a lot more wrong with Oblivion than merely a lack of internal conflict. Other things wrong include: a lack of a worthy opponent (the enemy aliens should be convincingly defeating the protagonists and making them suffer), lack of memorable characters (each of the protagonists and antagonists should be unique, instead all of them in this film are generic), bland dialogue, and a sterile, boring setting.
Each of these weaknesses needs to be addressed before Oblivion would be fully fixed.
Also, the internal conflict regarding honor could me made a lot stronger than simply having low vs high morale characters. Look to the questions great war and antiwar films raise regarding honor, such as whether winning the war is worth mistreating one's enemy (which, in Oblivion's case would require actually having some sympathy for the aliens) or unacceptable treatment of people on one's own side.
Having effective moral dilemmas requires both sides be both moral but in conflict with each other... so it's a damned if you do and damned if you don't situation. An example of this in the Oblivion context would be: what if there's something actually worth sacrificing humanity for... something more than just selfishness on the side of traitor humans who defect to the Tet. Ender's Game's solution to this was that winning would exterminate another species. Is winning worth genocide? Oblivion never asks such questions, but it would be much better if it did.
Having more well rounded, not completely good/evil characters would also make them more believable, palatable, and interesting. But, I've said enough.. hopefully this helps.
Excellent, thank you.
Thanks for bringing back the B-Roll! As always, great video.
That was brilliant, and a great improvement on an already outstanding movie.
I am curious on a video on how bad (or good) is Euphoria
Great commentary and solutions for Oblivion.
Kinda feels like Tom Cruise already made this movie with Emily Blunt a few years earlier. No one saw Oblivion because it was way too similar.
Improved all around. No question.
Wow! I am impressed. Great job, esp. for a first pass.
man, i love the visuals of this movie so much. costumes and props and the scifi structures. i remember when i first saw it i felt that it kept hitting every scifi cliche trope, was making me laugh. i really enjoy this proposed version of it! Oblivion 2 perchance?
Was the lack of philosophical stakes a product of trying to make the film more palatable to a Chinese audience? If it was, it wasn't worth it. Oblivion only did $23M in China.
"Arc" not "arch"!
Also, what's the unintentionally hilarious line from the marriage conversation?
this is why i love the "end game" movie, all boxes checked
Man, this was great. I can totally see how it would be a better movie if re-written to follow this revised plot.
Giving all of your main characters a UNIQUE take on THE SAME THEME establishes a philosophical bedrock upon which you can then stage different discussions about said theme, which will add depth to your story! This is one of the things I struggle with the most.
dude we need more of those style of videos you are the best
We hear about how theres less original high concept works on the big screen than there were in previous decades. Streaming wars risk aversion and name recognition aside.
Maybe the lack of a strong philosophical conflict might be one of the reasons.
This is epic!
Thank you
I think it would be cool if Jack's uniform gets changed to black during the third act.
Oblivion was great. Come on. Still subbed though
Thank you Tyler
what i dont understand is why you can do this but million dollar writers cant? is it intentional to control supply and demand? too many good stories would kill cinema
Tell me something: why in god’s hell were the rebel humans dressing up like aliens.
Do more of these!
You made it 10 times more interesting 🔥👏
You should do justice league.
Wow man. You are talented as hell
PERFECT. I would add victoria go with him to the radiation zone with him and learns the truth but still rejects it and pushes for the memory wipe of both of them, better to live in ignorance than die
Billion dollar screenplay
This isn't cyrodill
dude this is my favorite type of videoss from you now. Its so cool watching you do it. the finial story FEELS right. Please do moree of these haha
Awesome rewrite! GJ
A great example of how there's always room for improvement. Wish we could've seen this version instead.
Interesting video format. It's really nice to see some sort of rewriting process.
Great job, Tyler! I really enjoyed your version. 👏
👌👌👌👌👌✨️
I would love to see you try and fix The Last Of Us Part 2, or just make your own version of it
The rewrite feels that it will have way too much info dumps tbh
He did say it's not perfect.
First