@@WHaAteVaA Thank you. I will let her come. I will make it difficult as possible to return. Honestly, I don't even know how I can look at her face anymore after things I have heard she has done. If she does somehow meet me using our friend circle, I will behave as if nothing happened at all. I will keep a distance and I will leave as soon as possible so she knows I am going away and it will never be easy for her ever again. if she speaks to me or tries to bring it up.. I will make it clear that I projected certain values that are not based on reality and its non of my business on what she does or does not. I just didn't want to accept it that she was telling me about the guy she was banging and telling me about it. when she knows dam well I dont like that. especially acting like she dint want to do it with a guy .... which in fact she did like it alot and kept doing it while in no contact. even yesterday she fucked the same guy. She should not do that if she knows I dont like sharing with random men. I just feel disgusted. and thats that but now I am clear with it .. but its no longer an issue for me. As she is nothing more than a cum bucket for the general public.
The main thing to remember is that we cannot read their minds. We may be feeling like it is hopeless and that they are extremely happy, whilst in reality they may be minutes away from breaking and reaching out
me and my ex was having a conversation then he goes last summer was terrible because last summer we were broken up he was engaged and living with someone else while I was crying my heart out it goes to show you things can be different from what you see on the outside
Coach Lee. Greetings from Holland. After 25 days of 100% no contact I send an funny stupid whatsapp to my ex-girlfriend. She ended the relationship in november and said that there is no way to start the relationship again several times. She responded to my app and she said that she wanted to talk. We did and we are back together now. I am so grateful for all your videos. They are priceless.
I reached out after 3 months of no contact. I did it because I didn't care about the outcome anymore. We talked like we did when we were together, and he brought up the breakup and admitted he still had feelings for me. I suggested the coffee thing and we are meeting up this sunday! He broke up with me super suddenly and impulsively. Wish me luck! X
@@Calida2308 well for me there was a lot of confusion about his behaviour. I defenitely wanna discuss that! Other than that I am just excited to see him again
De Nise I have been in the same position as you and we are now back together. Do not discuss anything about the break up on the first meeting it will only bring back negative thoughts (coach Lee says this in one of his videos) Good luck.
@@user-yq3wm1rx6w I have a question.. I have some of his stuff left here.. N his Christmas gift.. I was about to send it to him with a letter.. He have many problems n I don't think he know about his relationship pattern..he went with someone else after 3 days dumping. I don't wanna talk about it if we meet again but want to let him know. How would u handle this?
Coach. You are such a godsend! I went through a break up last Friday and today is 6 days of no contact. I initially freaked out for the first couple of hours and panicked as per normal as you say. But remembered the no contact rule from previous experience with not only my ex in this relationship but previous ex’s. I hope it works here. I just want to say thank you for your videos. I found you on TH-cam and was getting so much peace and relief from your videos that I felt compelled that I had to buy your emergency kit just to show I am grateful for all of the free information you give out. Whenever I’m feeling anxiety over the issue I just play one of your videos. You give me a lot of strength. And help me go through what is a very hard time. Appreciate you my friend.
I've been broken up with for about a week now. He's reached out a couple times but I have talked to him since the break up which I know I shouldnt have. It's made me feel better and I've expressed how I've felt. Hes asked for space and time and I'm giving it to him. He's just confused right now and I'm hoping giving him the space and time he asked for will help him figure it out because I know he loves me. Thank you Coach Lee for helping me through this, I love your videos. Your videos give me hope that he'll realize we go well together. I wont be reaching out anymore and I know I'm going to trust the process. Thank you!
This video reinforces the power and effectiveness of no contact. It seems the alternatives are for those who do not have the strength, vision, and patience to let no contact work.
I am living in my van with my ex. He broke up with me 3 weeks ago but due to our situation we havent been able to separate yet. It is impending and I dont want the breakup but I still need to see him daily...no going to separate rooms! I dont have answers to my specific issue yet so i have to try alternatives to help with my suffering. Im strong and have vision...everyone has a unique perspective so try not to judge others based on your own personal situation.
My #1 alternative or actually primary solution is move on. The idea of trying to get back with someone that at one point didn’t want to be with me made me feel like there’s better people out there for me and that turned out to be true. Especially after 2 months, I asked her if she wanted to catch up after 2 months later. She was like “yes, but I want to make sure you’re understanding that it’s just as friends”. We made plans and the day comes and she’s not even confirming that we were still meeting up. She didn’t even care about me as a friend, and I said screw it and forget her. Found someone much better for my personality.
I tried the "occasional contact rule" .. messaged her maybe 3-4 times over a period of 1 year, she replied politely the first 2 times, read and ignored the 3rd and 4th time... it got me nowhere, .. no, I lie... it got me blocked randomly on her social media a few months later.. STICK WITH NO CONTACT, especially if you're a man.
True if you are a man STICK WITH NO CONTACT , Women are psycho with their feelings, A man will normally return to his gf in a strong way but women will make u suffer & have million thoughts abt it
@@valentino00o: Women & 'girls' are ENTIRELY TWO DIFFERENT SPECIES. Women don't play, IF she wants you, there it is. A girl comes with uncertainty AND OTHER BS.
@@femakampfcounselor8466 Her sister told me so much... basically she loved me but didn't think I was right for her... I'm not sure if I buy that,. but it does feel better to think it.
@Theseattlegreen I feel your pain dude. Same situation, 9.5 years down the drain, two young children, and the pain just keeps coming my way. Only thing left for her to take from me is my kids. Which she will as she gets kicks from taking everything I care about. Wishing you and anyone else going through the hard times all the best. Massive thanks to coach Lee for all your videos, advice and helping to keep any faith possible.
I needed to hear this! Like I said before, NO CONTACT IS EXTREMELY HARD AS HELL!!! I wanted to contact her about my things and again, that would be an excuse to see her. She hasn’t called to pick up my things so I’m not going to do that. But man, this sucks!
Yin, if you need your things that she has, by all means.GO GET THEM AND THEN LEAVE HER ALONE. She has no right to keep your belongings. After you get your things, just leave. Good luck to you..
If you're watching these videos you're screwed and in denial. I know I am. They don't love you back. Every time I no contact, because he's pushed me so far (and I admit I have little self control), he will contact me (month later)... we get together, I'm elated (addiction), then ignores me again. No contact just causes them to test to see if they still matter...then once you do they act hateful again. It's a never ending story of misery. Go no contact to save yourself!!!!! Electrify your keyboard if you try to contact them, do anything to stop yourself. You just end up the grief process over and over again. SAVE YOU!!!
Yea my wife told me she wanted a divorce when I was deployed. When I get back I thought we could work it out. Nope I currently live in a hotel. Never saw it coming. Iv had the kids for 3 weeks now. They are the ones who are getting me through this
A lot easier to build a new house than renovate an old house ie start over plenty of fish in the sea also longer you spend time chasing the wrong person the less time you have for the right person
Thank you, Coach Lee. I truly appreciate your insight and wisdom. I've gained a lot of strength and power watching your videos. Breakups are never easy and it's so easy to make a mess of things. When I have a moment of weakness, I go to your channel and you calm my anxiety and fear. You're a blessing! 🙂❤
True but the new house can be shattered soon if we don't use better materials while building a new house, unlike the old one. In other words, we should definitely look and improve ourselves too in order to make it last, otherwise chances are history will repeat again.
@@christinalewis3635 hahaha well we don't see the value and learn anything unless we lost it what we already had. So i agree on that it's lot easier to find a new one than getting back the old one n fix the broken relationship. 😆 So responding to the main comment, we should try to become the 'right person' first before putting the allegation as 'wrong person' onto the other one. Humans are tend to do that bcs we always see ourselves as 'perfect' and for the other one as 'our wrong choice with lots of imperfections'🙈 May be the other one is just Perrrrfect for someone else na. NO ONE is perfect in this world. What we can do is, we both can atleast try to make ourselves perfect for eachother before dragging to this level. Why to cry on spilled milk now? Take the responsibility and let them go, if they really loved you, they will find out your changes anyhow. Chasing or getting them back by playing these psychological mind games with them will take us nowhere in the long term. Well this is what i learnt, we will not be able to identify our flaws ever if we keep looking/focusing to the other person's mistakes. Human mind is tend to justify ourselves anyhow. Just sharing my opinion.😊
Remember guys I know your emotions try to trick you but trust me your situation and your partners situation are more than likely not that special. They will more than likely respond in the same cliche manor as everyone else if you break no contact trust me if you reset it it just takes longer. Just remain strong and let no contact do all of the work for you
The only alternative to the no contact rule I can think of right off hand is to give into your anxiety, reach out and suffer the consequences- landing in the friend zone. Let’s watch the video and learn something.
Yes, I've had a lot of frustrations over the years of people who gave into the illusion and contacted their ex. Then they realized what a bad decision that was.
I did no contact for a week and a half and she reached out and said she wanted to talk. So we met up and went to a few places and had a lot of fun. She told me shes unsure of where her emotions are that she misses me but wants to be sure that shes not just attached to me. She flirted with me a lot and told me I have a lot of qualities she wants in a man, so it feels like im getting mixed messages on whether or not she wants to try again. She agreed to go see a movie with me next week but we didnt talk at all yesterday on new years eve. I wished her a happy new year since we have initiated contact, but if she decides to cancel our date I will go back to no contact and respect her decision.
I honestly don't even want my ex back after seeing her do certain things just to hurt me after the break up when all I ever did was try to show her love affection and loyalty 🤮
Interestingly I waited so long for my ex to contact me. He texted me on New Years and then a week ago for my birthday. However, I also found out that he had two other girlfriends while we were together. Lmfao! Go figure. Safe to say that was big fat waste of time waiting for him to reach out. Now he's gone from ex bae to blocked! Good luck out there folks! 😂😂
right, which is why during the no contact rule one should be actually dating other people... so that you come from a place of abundance and you keep growing and evolving as a person.
I never get any clear anwsers on the break up. It's always different excuses each time. At first they said I didn't live them and that I just wasn't good company. Next they said it was an unhealthy relationship (I didn't think so, we barely fought and I always let him do whatever he wanted. I just had to tighten the reins a little bit during covid) then he said it's unhealthy to date just one person in your adult life. We've been together for 8.5 years. That he wanted a room to himself. That he wanted to put all his decorations up. That he wanted to go out clubbing (at 29 while going back to uni). That he wanted to go on all these adventures (which we had planned pre covid). That he regrets the way we broke up and the timing but doesn't regret the break up. He had a break down scared I'd hate him and never talk to him again and that everyone would perceive him as an ahole ex. He still wanted to live together and share the same bed still. I made the mistake of allowing it but after a week I kicked him out of the bedroom. Then he went away for a week and came back with covid. So I was stuck in iso with him. Then after a week I got covid off him. More arguments happened, even family are angry at him and eventually I told him it's best for him to move out if he wants his space. He litterally owns a house but can't live in it because it's too far away. He also bought that house behind my back while dating. I did so much for him and stuck by him through so much and all his hospital admissions. I got him out of slum living and onto his feet. And he treated me like this in the end. He also told me I had been distant with his friends which isn't true either. I just couldn't make Sunday night game night because it didn't work for me. But I had no problems doing other activities with his friends every other day of the week. And everytime I try to ask him what the issue is and to bring it to the table so we can work it out but each time he never wants to. He complains about lack of affection but I always gave it to him when he asks. And about lack of sex but he never initiated and whenever I did he was never in the mood. He never helped with any of the housework except for the cooking on the nights he was home. Kicking him out is going to make it tough on me financially, but it's the only way either of us will get any space and start the no contact. And to give him the break up so hopefully he can reflect. He even had discounted rent living here becausehe didn't want to move out of a share house cause it'll be too expensive even though he earned more than me anyway.
Tomorrow will mark 3 months since I’ve talked to her. We haven’t spoken until she sent me a happy holidays text back in December. Saw her today walking around campus for the first time in a while. I’m starting to lose hope she really is done. We’ve dated for over a year but her friends tell me she’s already out tinder dating while I’m over here thinking of her and working on myself 🤦🏾♂️
coach lee makes me not even want my ex back... hes like go love yourself leave them alone and in the process I'm like I want someone better than my ex.
I'd add to only do these alternatives if you as a person are in a state of mind after breaking up, a state of mind that allows you to properly move on after these options fail, because there is still a chance they will fail. Being in damage control mode whilst breaking no contact or going with these alternatives will be harsh and even worse then the initial break up
It's interesting. Im doing no contact with my ex that I also work with. She pointed out that she was sad that I didn't say happy birthday to her, and now our only contact is just a smile as I pass by her at work. Will keep updated
I started no contact for about a week but I saw your clean slate video and noticed i didn't end it in a good way. I said the basic "I'm sorry for the way i acted during the break up and i respect your decision even if i disagree with it". Her friend messaged me to move on and wished me well since my ex didn't respond. I am going to start radio silence and do the best i can to work on myself. I have a feeling she is talking to someone new since last time we broke up she saw someone else. I'm starting radio-silence/ no contact again. I bought your ex back kit and I feel like it will help. Although I want her back, I know I want to grow as a person. If she comes back, maybe I will take her back, maybe I wont. But the signals from her not responding to my clean slate text, and her friend messaging me to move on is troubling. Would love some advice on my situation from you, Coach. Either way, I know I want to be better.
Start working for yourself..not everything is permanent, every relationship is temporary, time come hell come to you and remember the good times...if its yours it come back..if not accept and try to love yourself or date someone else...huhu i feel you same a bit senario, her friend told me to move on since my ex fiancee never message again for almost a month, it hurts but stay NC and watch here lee's videos relief me everyday and helps me stronger person.
aj sundquist I didn’t call her and she cried. Don’t contact her. Tell her you wanted to give her space with her over ones and people she put as her priority
I wish I found these before I went on texting and calling. Not necessarily because I’m even sure I want him back at this point, just because it makes me look needy and unhinged. Oh well, I’ve left him alone. Not drinking helps. Don’t drink and text people! Lol
He reached out to me after 1 year of NC. It lasted 1 month (long distance relationship) He came in and out every 6 month or so. Now he broke it off again because I think he went back to a rebound he told me about and broke up with. So he was running back to me. He told me he'll never forget me but he'll never come back. I told him that as soon as I hang up I will forget him. So I hung up and have to start all over again. NC works. The only reason I answered it was a private number. I want him back but only with a commitment. So how do I do it next time he calls . How do I handle it?. Bye the way I like you better as a blonde. Lol
11 years, it hurts to not talk to him but our relationship was so strong and I respect his decisions so I've let him do his thing. It's been a week and it feels like it's been a decade in time, I certainly hope that he thinks fondly of me as our breakup was his doing and was very calm...
Coach Lee, can you do a video on what to do / how to get yourself back together if NC doesn’t work (eg. delete from social media). After 40 days of no contact and resisting the urge to send her a birthday text, i was really making progress... until I saw my ex had updated her profile picture with an engagement ring! It hit my for six and have been struggling ever since. Your content is much appreciated, it really has helped me get through this past year. Thanks
I did cannabis behind my partners back she thought I stopped when are son was born. I should of stopped she found out and broke 💔 up with me before Christmas. I didn't help out as much as I should of I hated myself for continuing to smoke it. I miss my family soo much I've now stopped haven't had any for nearly 3 months
My girlfriend of six months broke up with me a few days ago. We spoke the day after but agreed to take some time off and not reach out for a few days. We ended with no problems, not trust issues, no cheating, never even a fight. She has some mental health issues and they always get bad in the spring, and along with the virus thing right now, she believes she just needs to take time to care of herself first before a relationship. She still has feelings for me as I do for her. I think we have a chance to get back together. Her family and friends love me as mine do her as well. We’re both 16 also. I just need some advice on what to do in order to get her back after the few days of not talking.
I stopped all forms of communication with my ex gf because I was not happy. I was giving it my all and she wasn't giving back. In the end, she told me she won't talk much because of her exams but she feels like she's single in her head but she doesn't wonna leave me.. I continued messaging her 3 days after then I stopped, my pride was hurt. Been almost 3 months and she never made the effort to contact me. She seen me happy on social media and unfollowed me when she saw me travelling and shit... Any thought?,
What is the success rate of 'No Contact' if you're a man? 'No Contact' was designed decades ago for a woman to move on by sleeping with other men, for example: a counselor wants to help the woman get away from her exboyfriend or husband, so she suggests that the guy stop contacting her for 30, 60 or even 90 days. It has never been designed as a strategy for men to get any woman back after a breakup. No Contact approach usually only works in the woman’s favor. Anyhow, if Coach Lee can say exactly what is the success rate of 'No Contact' if you're a man, it would be an easy way to refute the claim that No Contact is only for women.
I'm a man and 2 of 3 exes came back. The one that didn't got married and we both moved to different states. One found me and the other had blocked me on social media then unblocked and we back at it. Both times took 6 months of NC.
A specific reason like a small patty reason to leave you is already a sign of low attraction and normally just an excuse to leave blaming you. If the attraction is high there will be no reason that qualify to leave. No one will leave someone they love without they been cheating, and even then they will stay if you convince them it was a mistake. There is no petty reason to leave if you love them. So I must disagree with that approach.
None of these work for me, the ex was the one who was obsessed with video games, lashed out repeatedly and tried jealousy... honestly I'm at a point where I can't see us getting together... It drove me insane how he wasted hours apon hours of playing games and say they have goals n won't do anything
I was that way. I was seriously depressed and used video games as an outlet. Even though I lost the love of my life. I haven't touched a video game and have worked on my self worth and actually having goals in life. I may never get her back I fucked up and got lost in self hatred. But I have never been so committed to changing my life. Unfortunately it is to late for me to get her back. But I've learned to let go of alotnof things.
Coach Lee. Thank you for your nice video! Can you please give some advice on dealing with exes with Peter Pan Syndrome? Is it easier for them to come back? How to cope with Peter Pans in the relationship? I figured out my ex bf was with this syndrome recently. I don't think I am the only one here. It can explain so many things!
Coach lee my almost x husband, showed up to the house two times and actually, he got an apartment since the day I receive that he filed a divorce, at first I tell him was so sorry and you told also in this video it's ok at first to let them know and at that first meeting I back of leaving them a message reason and straight 3 days no contact rule because of you coach lee you are sent from above.. In the third day, there were in the house leaving a lot of signs for me to see I came back and it's too obvious that they leave a lot of signs they been in the house and heartfelt I felt when I saw what they did, they even clean the cat poo my cat and did what they usually did when we're before.. and then he said how iam .. and he going into circle like he said did you tell to your mom .. and asking what’s your plan after? And that’s the time I told him you know I know what’s our problem and what I did do wrong .. I am sorry for that if you give me another chance I know what to do now. Then that time he started crying and emotional explaining his side to me.. And he keeps talking until the topic started to roll out our relationship between us should be and how I need to learn to trust him and space(that’s what his reasoning) and it led on telling what I need to do like uninstalled Facebook and telling me the reasons why. He even talked about his days was and the past few days about his friends and 3 hours past when he suddenly keeps quiet when he mentioned people don’t change in one of his topics about his friends. And he told me to tell me directly he can't still believe if I am going to change or what I'm saying.. SOME ” so our relationship needs time.. And that's it, actually, I don't know know what do or do I have to a say something I just said as I told you I know now.. ” and he said ” it's not like it just accepts now.. Then when I trying to say that's why I said I'm sorry and I try to repeat what I said before.. Then, he went back saying take care ” then today he went back and I am sleeping I all of a sudden woke not prepared what should I do do I have to go back to sleep or should I awake. Can you make some videos of how to handle this situation? Like, I don't what is this he acted and what if he will said about the divorce procedure? -- anyway he asks me if I do need some groceries and he said we go together tomorrow at 7 pm omg what should I need to act please assist me namaste 🙏
Hi coach Lee, me and my girlfriend of 1 year and 7 months just broke up. I've already done most of the wrong things after a break up lol (begging, apologizing, negotiating, and promising to fix it all) but unfortunately I locked my keys in my car and had to walk to her work for a ride. She was acting very strange when we talked (likely because she found out i had talked to a friend of hers about the situation) skipping all the small stuff we got to my house and talked a lot I did break down and what not I could tell she wanted to cry but when I asked she didnt want to admit it. She showed a lot of sympathy for me and told me I wasn'ta bad boyfriend. I left the car and as I got to the top of the stairs I had the urge to turn around. As I did I walked to her car to find her having a very bad breakdown. I started to ask what was wrong and she replied "I just wanted to get out of the car and hug you" I leaped out of the passenger seat and ran to her door opened it and hugged her. I talk to her and promised a better future for us and I'll NEVER forget the way she hugged my arm as tight as she did, it was like she didnt want to let go. I just kissed her on the forehead and cheeks, promising to be a better man in the future for her. We cried in each other's arms for about a minute. It was late and her mother was beginning to worry so she had to leave, she had college early in the morning. We said our goodbyes and hugged on last time. That was the last time I'd seen her in person. I'm currently on day 3 of no contact. Should I have hope of getting back together?
@@Iwish387 girl I stopped no contact on day 62. I planned to text him after 60 days. Followed Coach Lucia's advice about the 60 day no contact rule. She really means forever until they contact you and she says normally they contact between day 45 and 60. He's still being stubborn .Lol.
Turn off your location setting. Think of it this way. Your ex needs to experience the feeling of missing you in order for this to work. That means that you need to make it appear to your ex that you’ve fallen off the face of the earth. No calls, no texts, no messaging, no bumping into your ex, no getting any messages to your ex through your friends or family. NOTHING!!!!! Don’t even post stuff on social media where your ex can see it. And keep this in mind: You need to keep doing this through the first few phases that your ex goes through BEFORE your ex actually begins to realize that he/she misses you. (At first your ex will not miss you). So you need to bite the bullet and commit to doing this stuff! Keep watching coach lees videos daily for support (you’ll need it!) This stuff works only if you truly do absolute no contact. If you start listening to that little voice in your head that says “I’ll call her or text her or drive by her home just this once” then your going to blow it, she will get her “fix” of you and it will take a lot longer for her to actually reach the phase of her experiencing the feeling of missing you so you really need to buckle up and get serious about this stuff! Coach lee knows what he’s talking about. Don’t second guess him (your brain and your heart will try to convince you otherwise but you need to realize that your heart is only being naturally emotional, it’s not thinking clearly. The coach is always thinking clearly without emotion. It worked for me and I doubted it in the beginning too but I now understand it and why it works. I’ve watched so many videos that it’s drilled into my head. You need to do the same. Good luck.
@@moxiefox5021 usually around 3 weeks your ex will start going through the curiosity stage and starts wondering but yes staying radio silence is a very powerful method
I feel so conflicted sometimes based on what my ex said to me and based on what my positive attitude says. I have friends of mine and hers that say she’d be a fool to lose me but I feel like I need more advice because my situation is similar to most but I’ve been told by my ex that we will never get back together
I tried so hard not to contact my ex of 3 years But 2 weeks of No contact got the better of me & I sent her a text. No reply from her and I'm back to square one I guess. I should have kept up " No contact". I feel so stupid. I'm trying not to think about her but that's all I think about. Thank you Coach Lee for your clips but I think I'm done and will have to face the fact that we will never be a couple again. I hate the fact ites a power struggle I thought real relationships were spose to be love not control.
if this no contact is longer than 3 months, I don't think that relationship is ever going to get back, or the person wants to get back, this is what I understood, am I right?
So it's been 3 months of nc and I still love her just as much. I miss her and want her back. I just don't know what to do. I'm tempted to initiate contact Backstory: So we met last March. We were together for a bit but then broke up in July. She was scared by my past(currently active duty but before the military I was in a gang). Fast forward to mid September, she texted me from the hospital. Bad accident but she was ok. By this time, I had flown to another place so it was long distance. She said it meant a lot that I still cared and all that. Couple days after getting back from the hospital, they called her to tell her she had a tumor. Told me before her family and she was devastated. A day or two after, I got a text from a friend that does contracting(mercenary work for lack of a better term) saying there was an opening for site security in Afghanistan. I applied so that I could go after I get out of the military for 6 months, more on that in a few......... So I tell her and she wasn't happy with it but ok'd it. Meanwhile she breaks up with her rebound and started to plan a trip and fly out to me. Also, she overtly told me she doesn't care about my past anymore. Later, we find out the tumor was benign and not cancerous. So it was a huge relief. Couple days later I told her I cancelled the Afghanistan contract. She was surprised and asking why I did. Told her I didn't need the money anymore. She was confused asking if I needed it for the move(I am moving back to her area when I get out of the military). I tell her no... I didn't need the money because it wasn't cancer...... She was emotional about it. The surgery was scheduled and the trip got cancelled but it was ok. Afterward the job search started for getting out. I started looking for a job in a city about an hour from her. She tells me to send her my Resume and portfolios so she could help look for one in her hometown. She didn't find one so I kept searching in the city. That weekend she went to the city for a seminar and was complaining about it. Said she only went to be able to attend the dinner afterward. I asked why. Magically, she was searching for a job in the city now. Now, at this point, I had job offers about 8 hours away from her as well. We also never talked about our future or what we were. So I asked her and said that if we didn't have a future I was going to the far away job because I can't be that close, see her with other guys and be ok. She dodged it and I let her. Next weekend, it was the one before her surgery, she said she was going out on a girls night out. She was snapping me the entire night. It was a house party deal. Eventually though, all the girls disappeared, dudes showed up, and it was just her and all these guys. I called her out on it and asked if there was a future or not. She dodged it. Removed me from snap a couple days later (Nov 10). Surgery happened (Nov 12) and she started texting me about it the entire night but nothing after. November 22 and 24 I texted her asking if she was ok and recovering well. Both times she replied and I left it at that. We haven't talked since. She still likes my posts on Instagram. What are the odds she'll reach out again? I am moving to her area in April (last we spoke, it was the far place and in July). Do you think there's hope for us getting back together?
need a bit of help. when my ex broke up with me i went into no contact. i told him that i wasnt ready to give him his things back. well 3 months into no contact he is asking if he can get his things. I want to know if this is a good sign. im meeting up with him and i am hoping will we meet up and talk and catch up. but i dont want to scare him off should i play it cool or should i spill out my feelings i want him to see ive changed and i want the best chance of getting him back please help.
Play it cool. Make it appear that everything is okay. He probably is testing the water. You'll find out. Make baby steps with him. Go with the flow. Don't initiate anything. Let him. You'll definitely scare him off if you pour out yourself with pent up emotions. Tell him when he can collect his things. Don't show any excitement at all. Just be on a perky mood, be mysterious and by this, you'll make him wonder. And if you make him wonder, you'll invade his thoughts more often. Just hang in there.
Doc Strange would the face to face with him work in my favor and if he tells me to stop by his place and he invited me in and we just talk about just the things we’ve been up to would that be ideal for us getting back together?
@@jordynb8073 It probably will. There are possibilities. If he tells you to stop by, don't jump right in as it shows eagerness from your part. You can probably say you have prior engagement and you are open to reschedule. I would do it in a coffee shop though and not in his place. Be the best you can look - simple yet captivating. Remind yourself to be casual and friendly. Just like the first date but with a twist! Better version of yourself.
@@jordynb8073 i think be kind and thats it. I would not talk about feelings or any of this stuff. If he broke up with you it has to be he who takes steps, not you. Be someone who feels good without him too.
Alternatives to the No Contact Rule: 1. Reason it out 2. Quantifiable change (change that can be seen directly, for example if your parents are the main problem in the relationship, move out of your parents house) (this is hard proof that there have been constructive changes, it's something that they can see, they can measure and observe) 3. Address a real and specific problem 4. (3-10 days no contact period) 5. Continuing a tradition No. 6 seems a bit too extreme and risky for me, so I'd just list out the first 5. But the first 5 are still not as powerful as the No Contact rule, so we'll have to be really careful when using it and see it if fits our own situation.
Please answer Coach : We had ONE big fight...I acted ridiculous.. then I didn’t contact him for a week until I sent him a much needed apology.. I apologized and he accepted saying he understood I wasn’t myself and then he said, just know I don’t judge you.. then I responded with thank you ,that I needed to hear that and that he could reach out anytime he needed. He never responded and hasn’t in 90 days... I never reached back out. It’s so crazy to me because I was crazy there for him and vice versa and we had zero issues until this fight, I may have scared him because I got so emotional... Do you think it’s too late? Please answer me.. I want to ask you on phone consult but I know you don’t do those.. can you please answer me here? Should I reach out now and say hello or wait? Thank you! Love the look today
Coach Lee I don’t think I’m going to do it. I told him he could reach out and he never did. I would feel like crap if he ignored me. Maybe some day in the far off future if he’s still single I’ll say hello :)
I decided to do about 2-3 weeks. Our relationship was a little under 4 months and it was specific issues. But because I was clingy, longer than 10 days I think is necessary. Hoping it works. I'm gonna try my best to work on myself during this period.
I did NC n he is now divorcing me. It's all due to his parents. If I would be there then Nonsuch things happened. But what to do. NC is good for him n he is divorcing me. All my life I have loved and I still love but.... It's hopeless man and hopeless parents of him
I broke NC after 21 days, because i felt i needed to apologise. I simply did that and wished my ex all the best. No begging or mention of a reconciliation. Now back in NC.
Best thing to do is try without trying, care without caring, etc. Don't go all in. Instead let them win you over and back. Don't talk about the past, I can't stress this enough. Whatever issue/s were in the past, leave them. Unless the other brings them up. But don't let the wound/s bleed out with your responses. Apologize for your shit. Own it and move on. Don't over do it. Don't take blame for what the other did. Remember, you're trying to try without trying. Over apologizing and or taking all the blame is buckling and makes you look weak and insecure and proves you're a door mat to be walked on. Feeds their ego and you look pathetic to them all over again. Keep it light and casual. Respond politely and don't show negative emotions. But be confident and stern to a degree with what your wants, needs and desires are. Don't make it all about you, but don't make it all about them either. Getting won over vs winning them over. You got left. They need to make amends for their half first. Reply when spoken to and not rudely. Allow them to see you in a different light. Get your respect back. I hope you feel better and remember, this is your time!
Depend on how you broke up in the first place but I really recommend talk to them in person first then through text. Just don’t be too dramatic, you’ll make it awkward for both of you. Be casual, talk about other interesting stuff and try not to bring up anything about your relationship to them(that can wait for way later). Then you can just hangout with that person sometime just to rebuild your relationship with that person. But just remember not to rush anything. Take it slow, take your time
I just started dating my ex again we’re not official but do I still ask him if we can delete our dating apps? To me it feels like I’m giving him the cookie of dating me and eating the cookie by talking with others at the same time? It feels very wrong to me, is it reasonable or nah?
Ive stopped texting him but i can’t stop looking on messenger the last time he’s been active 😣 I dont want to block him either because I’m still curious if he will pop up. I’m trying my hardest to distract myself from thinking about him
Well damn, wish I saw this video earlier, we had a fight and she told me she wants to break up, I told her okay we break up then, and I went in to no contact right away for 2 weeks, then I saw this video and I contacted her and apologised and all and asked her to reconcider the breakup, she told me that 2 weeks have gone and now it might be too late... but she told me later that she cant be with me, at least for now. So there is some hope and I asked her out for coffee in 2 days and we will see how it goes. Its been very difficult to keep no contact for both of us. I will let you know what she said after the coffee date!
I did this and I took a step back and let her know the situation and I told her I made changes and she open up to me and told me what was a big problem and we had coffee when we spoke and she saw the changes and we laugh but she ended the conversation and I said that ok we will catch up another time and she was not mean or arguing with me and it was a step on resting everything and it was ground one for me.
It’s been a couple of months since my ex broke up with me. I want her back and been trying to do the no contact, but she messages me every day but I only text her back if it’s worth replying to. On Monday night she asked me to go over to talk but ended up having sex. She said during that she wants to be with me so I asked her what she wanted and still said she doesn’t know. I’m not waiting up for her so I’ve been talking to other people and sleeping with others so how would I get her to notice that so she can chase me even more and win me back? I feel like I’ve been so dry with her that she told me that she won’t be bothering me anymore because I’ve made it clear I’m trying to move on but I don’t want her to stop messaging me and move on from me I’m scared to lose her.
Coach Lee, my partner is a recovering addict and I have contributed to his transition to recovery. Was a hard and rocky road, but led to loss of trust from my end. Now that he's clean he has picked up his social life again with his lifetime friends and his social media stuff and is not very communicative with me and this doesnt help build the trust he broke with me. We broke up because he feels like he is in a cage with me. We were in a serious relationship for 1.5 years, and I feel hurt that he feels like he's in a cage, I love him and I know he loves me, and I'm always looking fwd to spend time together, but he gets more excited with his friends I guess. He doesnt go out often, but when he does he could easily spend 8 or more hours with them and I feel disconnected with him. He also lies a lot about being somewhere yet he's somewhere else. I think it was unfair that he didnt put much effort to rebuild our relationship. How should I handle this? We're both 44 years old, we're not kids
I'm in a similar situation, when he came out of rehab he was so off with me and went going outside with friends and was happy beeing without me, I was in panic for weeks and he said it's too much for him, then he was less and less attracted to me and he lost all his interest 😭 he broke up and reached out few times but he don't wanna try fix it or be together, just friends he said and I ruined it because I'm still so hurt that he just left me like this after all.... 😭 I'm 11 days in no contact and I think he won't reach out anymore, I think he found someone else who he's focused on 😔 sometimes I feel Im falling apart 🥺😔 do you have any update?
What should I do? My ex and I had a 3 month relationship, it's kinda like a limerence, it lasted 2-3 weeks for her feelings to fade, we are just high school students and classmates, I'm doing strategic contact for a month now,,, everytime we'll have interactions we just ignore each other, if I greet her I'd look like am chasing her no matter what because she's always with her friends. And those friends of her are just her new acquaintances when we broke up, ig it is just to comfort her and boost her ego to feel better. What should I do coach lee?
Feel like giving up broke no contact this week and last week when i come to work and change work shift with her and for 2 weeks she totaly ignores me walk longer ways just to stay away from me i try now again for 4-5 time to go no contact but im weak
I recently was the one dumped in a two year long relationship. I went into no contact for three months an then I sent him a text asking if you feel the same about me because I wanted to get back together. He told me he's already dating an it's only been three months an he doesn't feel the same anymore. How does someone date again that quick after a two year relationship? It doesn't make sense, so I just deleted his number an I am currently talking to other people. My ex was also an achololic.
That's not quick fr... My ex broke up with me and got a boyfriend a week later. We were together for 2 years. Told me she didn't love me anymore and that she loves him. People just do whatever they want. There's no set time on anything. Better to just assume your ex doesn't love you anymore and find someone who does. It really doesn't make sense but that's just how it goes sometimes.
@@mazokuwarrior My ex also never told me he has Aspergers until a year into our relationship, so he always thought he was better than me an everyone around him. He texted me again an I told him relationships will always have fighting/problems an no one is perfect. I started to compare saying you expect to buy a new car an it not have issues down the road. Or buy a used car with issues an fix them. Comparing it to relationships in general. He told me he gets rid of used cars. Pretty sure my ex is a narcissist.
Hi Coach Lee, I have a question about my LDR.. My ex and I got back together after a month.. But now he seems distant, he said that things aren't going to be the same anymore.. He said that he wants to have his freedom back but at the same still in a relationship with me.. I guess I was being too needy before.. So any advice on how to react when he's being distant? Thanks a lot in advance 😊 Update : he broke up with me because he said he doesn't love me anymore
what about when you suffer from depression and neglected the relationship because of it? what kind of contact would you recommend for this type of scenario? What I did so far was take the time to work on myself with therapy but I feel like I hurt her feelings pretty deeply
Broke no contact for clean slate message, fucked it up big time. He was sweet to me bt my own conscious is killing me thinking that I have increased his ego mayb.
COACH LEE.. I am still a student and I can't afford your emergency kits and stuff. I have a very unique situation that might add to your experience as well including "her seeing another girl" even before breakup. I love her so much and you might be the only person who can help me sir.
My ex keeps trying to talk to me, sometimes she tryna be cold, but she's always like I'm avoiding her because I don't contact her, I reply when she messages I return her calls but I don't call or text her and she keeps saying she misses me
My ex and I are long distance after the breakup. She has friends there. She's having good times, hikes with them. I'm doing no contact. Will she forget me and move on because of friends keep her happy all the time. Won't she reach out?
Heya coach. I was left by a girl who wasn't technically my girlfriend after being intensely close friends with benefits for over a year. We never made it official because I was moving away, but I knew she always wanted it and we still visited each other during the time apart. I was about to ask her to be my girlfriend but she took the wind out of my sails and told me she no longer had feelings before I had the chance, and then I was forced to tell her my feelings during that moment. Guess I just waited too long and she moved on. I know no-contact would probably be the best option for my healing, but does a situation like this call for anything different or at least modified if I want to save it? I'm afraid that the distance between us and the previous lack of commitment might make it easier for her to forget me.
What if my ex and I have been broken up for a month. She has yet to stop texting me “how amazing we were” and “how lucky we were” and sending songs we listened to and pictures of us and even pictures of me saying “I miss this guy” but then I asked to meet to talk she says the day of.. “I don’t think I want to, sorry” but then silence for two weeks and then another text of song lyrics stating “my kiss brought her back to life” and also saying “that will forever be true” what do I respond with seeing as how my simple responses have dragged it out this long and no forward movement has occurred regarding us being together.
What would you say to a guy for advice when the girl has said she’s lost attraction? This has happened to me so I’ve not contacted her and told her not to contact me unless she’s serious about something. I’ve been a beta I admit so need to sort myself out.
Now I feel confused in my case as me and my LDR, NEVER MET bf met on matrimonial site... I had been time n again asking about his intentions only to hear he was 'unsure''. 9 months went by, in the last I asked him again about his intentions for us and he said 'i dont know ',so I asked him ''should I start speaking to other men on the marriage site??".(as m in my marriageable age, losing time, he knew this) . He said its upto you ,but deep down he wouldn't want that.. Now wen Im on the site he broke up with me blaming me for 'not fighting back for him' i tried once calling n talking he refused and said all is over... What should I do, should I still try to talk and say all I needed was him and no other man or NC???? PLEASE HELP
Just let no contact do it’s work. If your ex loved you enough they will reach out. If not, then why would you want someone that doesn’t love you ?
if they loved you they shouldnt left you first
Azazel I don’t think that’s always the case. Sometimes love isn’t enough to make a relationship work
@@azazel3944 then they were never meant to be
If they love you they don’t get you mad
@shav12 some of us have kids with them. No contact is not even an option.
NO CONTACT IS THE BEST... IT GIVE US OUR DIGNITY BACK AND GIVES THE OTHER PERSON TIME TO VALUE US.
@@stealthassulter very much needed in some situations , also let her come to you that's even better revenge
@@WHaAteVaA Thank you. I will let her come. I will make it difficult as possible to return. Honestly, I don't even know how I can look at her face anymore after things I have heard she has done.
If she does somehow meet me using our friend circle, I will behave as if nothing happened at all.
I will keep a distance and I will leave as soon as possible so she knows I am going away and it will never be easy for her ever again.
if she speaks to me or tries to bring it up..
I will make it clear that I projected certain values that are not based on reality and its non of my business on what she does or does not.
I just didn't want to accept it that she was telling me about the guy she was banging and telling me about it. when she knows dam well I dont like that. especially acting like she dint want to do it with a guy .... which in fact she did like it alot and kept doing it while in no contact. even yesterday she fucked the same guy.
She should not do that if she knows I dont like sharing with random men. I just feel disgusted. and thats that but now I am clear with it .. but its no longer an issue for me. As she is nothing more than a cum bucket for the general public.
Can’t wait to reject her
@B K good job. Well you atleast have somewhat of an option. My person fucked around alot. So I can't even take it back. So disgusting.
B K facts.they have the guts to leave you so better not turn around cuz I’m not there
The main thing to remember is that we cannot read their minds. We may be feeling like it is hopeless and that they are extremely happy, whilst in reality they may be minutes away from breaking and reaching out
Coach Lee,how to contact you?
Xavi Mace thanks for the encouragement man
me and my ex was having a conversation then he goes last summer was terrible because last summer we were broken up he was engaged and living with someone else while I was crying my heart out it goes to show you things can be different from what you see on the outside
True
Xavi Mace so wise
So many heartbroken people. At least we are not alone :) Stay strong guys
It's so sad isn't it. Xx
Thank you hope your doing good
i am the same boat
@@deshawn1801 1
Oh, shit... it's denton!
Note to self: If you want to know where you are in his life - do NC.
Coach Lee. Greetings from Holland. After 25 days of 100% no contact I send an funny stupid whatsapp to my ex-girlfriend. She ended the relationship in november and said that there is no way to start the relationship again several times. She responded to my app and she said that she wanted to talk. We did and we are back together now. I am so grateful for all your videos. They are priceless.
Thank you for sharing your experience.
I reached out after 3 months of no contact. I did it because I didn't care about the outcome anymore. We talked like we did when we were together, and he brought up the breakup and admitted he still had feelings for me. I suggested the coffee thing and we are meeting up this sunday! He broke up with me super suddenly and impulsively. Wish me luck! X
Are there hurt feelings or thoughts u wanna let him know?
@@Calida2308 well for me there was a lot of confusion about his behaviour. I defenitely wanna discuss that! Other than that I am just excited to see him again
@@denise69 alright. Bcauze I am confused when it's the right time to let my ex know about my feelings
De Nise I have been in the same position as you and we are now back together. Do not discuss anything about the break up on the first meeting it will only bring back negative thoughts (coach Lee says this in one of his videos) Good luck.
@@user-yq3wm1rx6w I have a question.. I have some of his stuff left here.. N his Christmas gift.. I was about to send it to him with a letter.. He have many problems n I don't think he know about his relationship pattern..he went with someone else after 3 days dumping.
I don't wanna talk about it if we meet again but want to let him know. How would u handle this?
Im sticking with 100% no contact rule..thanks lee. Feel safe this way x
Good.
No contact grows and become stronger day by day and it reaches to the point where you don't want to give it back.
Coach. You are such a godsend! I went through a break up last Friday and today is 6 days of no contact. I initially freaked out for the first couple of hours and panicked as per normal as you say. But remembered the no contact rule from previous experience with not only my ex in this relationship but previous ex’s. I hope it works here. I just want to say thank you for your videos. I found you on TH-cam and was getting so much peace and relief from your videos that I felt compelled that I had to buy your emergency kit just to show I am grateful for all of the free information you give out. Whenever I’m feeling anxiety over the issue I just play one of your videos. You give me a lot of strength. And help me go through what is a very hard time. Appreciate you my friend.
its been almost 3 months since the breakup and i’ve done NC and radio silence and it has been very healing for me !!
its been almost 3 months since the breakup and i’ve done NC and radio silence and it has been very healing for me !!
What ended up happening, in both of your situations? I'm approaching 3 months myself.
Coah Lee is the maannnnn!!! got the ball rolling after 37 days of no contact!!
I've been broken up with for about a week now. He's reached out a couple times but I have talked to him since the break up which I know I shouldnt have. It's made me feel better and I've expressed how I've felt. Hes asked for space and time and I'm giving it to him. He's just confused right now and I'm hoping giving him the space and time he asked for will help him figure it out because I know he loves me. Thank you Coach Lee for helping me through this, I love your videos. Your videos give me hope that he'll realize we go well together. I wont be reaching out anymore and I know I'm going to trust the process. Thank you!
Me too, I'm giving him time but I'm afraid of the result
Hey.... any update?
hey, any updates?
This video reinforces the power and effectiveness of no contact. It seems
the alternatives are for those who do not have the strength, vision, and
patience to let no contact work.
I am living in my van with my ex. He broke up with me 3 weeks ago but due to our situation we havent been able to separate yet. It is impending and I dont want the breakup but I still need to see him daily...no going to separate rooms! I dont have answers to my specific issue yet so i have to try alternatives to help with my suffering. Im strong and have vision...everyone has a unique perspective so try not to judge others based on your own personal situation.
My #1 alternative or actually primary solution is move on. The idea of trying to get back with someone that at one point didn’t want to be with me made me feel like there’s better people out there for me and that turned out to be true. Especially after 2 months, I asked her if she wanted to catch up after 2 months later. She was like “yes, but I want to make sure you’re understanding that it’s just as friends”. We made plans and the day comes and she’s not even confirming that we were still meeting up. She didn’t even care about me as a friend, and I said screw it and forget her. Found someone much better for my personality.
irl87 I think you still in love with her
Never accept friendship
@@africanfufu , but he summoned the power to move on, that's what count giving the circumstances...
Irl...Let her go. You can do much better. Just give IT TIME. TIME is a GREAT HEALER!
I tried the "occasional contact rule" .. messaged her maybe 3-4 times over a period of 1 year, she replied politely the first 2 times, read and ignored the 3rd and 4th time... it got me nowhere, .. no, I lie... it got me blocked randomly on her social media a few months later.. STICK WITH NO CONTACT, especially if you're a man.
SJ same thing happened to me lol
No Contact is the only way
True if you are a man STICK WITH NO CONTACT , Women are psycho with their feelings, A man will normally return to his gf in a strong way but women will make u suffer & have million thoughts abt it
@@valentino00o: Women & 'girls' are ENTIRELY TWO DIFFERENT SPECIES. Women don't play, IF she wants you, there it is. A girl comes with uncertainty AND OTHER BS.
Don’t give up hope. It’s possible that she is extremely hurt and angry.
@@femakampfcounselor8466 Her sister told me so much... basically she loved me but didn't think I was right for her... I'm not sure if I buy that,. but it does feel better to think it.
Man that music in the beginning of every video is dope plus listening to you is in itself moving on 🙌🏻🙌🏻
There is no alternative, just be strong. No contact is the most powerful thing ever. If no contact doesn't get ur ex back, nothing will...
@Theseattlegreen I feel your pain dude. Same situation, 9.5 years down the drain, two young children, and the pain just keeps coming my way. Only thing left for her to take from me is my kids. Which she will as she gets kicks from taking everything I care about. Wishing you and anyone else going through the hard times all the best. Massive thanks to coach Lee for all your videos, advice and helping to keep any faith possible.
I needed to hear this! Like I said before, NO CONTACT IS EXTREMELY HARD AS HELL!!! I wanted to contact her about my things and again, that would be an excuse to see her. She hasn’t called to pick up my things so I’m not going to do that. But man, this sucks!
Yin, if you need your things that she has, by all means.GO GET THEM AND THEN LEAVE HER ALONE. She has no right to keep your belongings. After you get your things, just leave. Good luck to you..
Thank you so much coach Lee.. your videos keeps me Relax during my heartbreak.. I think your videos are all intended for me.
If you're watching these videos you're screwed and in denial. I know I am. They don't love you back. Every time I no contact, because he's pushed me so far (and I admit I have little self control), he will contact me (month later)... we get together, I'm elated (addiction), then ignores me again. No contact just causes them to test to see if they still matter...then once you do they act hateful again. It's a never ending story of misery. Go no contact to save yourself!!!!! Electrify your keyboard if you try to contact them, do anything to stop yourself. You just end up the grief process over and over again. SAVE YOU!!!
this just happened to me... only the first time though so thats the final one
Yea my wife told me she wanted a divorce when I was deployed. When I get back I thought we could work it out. Nope I currently live in a hotel. Never saw it coming. Iv had the kids for 3 weeks now. They are the ones who are getting me through this
I disagree. there is so much I know I needed to change and the no contact allows me to change.
A lot easier to build a new house than renovate an old house ie start over plenty of fish in the sea also longer you spend time chasing the wrong person the less time you have for the right person
Thank you, Coach Lee. I truly appreciate your insight and wisdom. I've gained a lot of strength and power watching your videos. Breakups are never easy and it's so easy to make a mess of things. When I have a moment of weakness, I go to your channel and you calm my anxiety and fear. You're a blessing! 🙂❤
True but the new house can be shattered soon if we don't use better materials while building a new house, unlike the old one.
In other words, we should definitely look and improve ourselves too in order to make it last, otherwise chances are history will repeat again.
@@aarushisahni4056 👏👏👏 also how will you learn or grow if you don't take of what you already have
@@christinalewis3635 hahaha well we don't see the value and learn anything unless we lost it what we already had. So i agree on that it's lot easier to find a new one than getting back the old one n fix the broken relationship. 😆
So responding to the main comment, we should try to become the 'right person' first before putting the allegation as 'wrong person' onto the other one. Humans are tend to do that bcs we always see ourselves as 'perfect' and for the other one as 'our wrong choice with lots of imperfections'🙈 May be the other one is just Perrrrfect for someone else na.
NO ONE is perfect in this world. What we can do is, we both can atleast try to make ourselves perfect for eachother before dragging to this level. Why to cry on spilled milk now? Take the responsibility and let them go, if they really loved you, they will find out your changes anyhow. Chasing or getting them back by playing these psychological mind games with them will take us nowhere in the long term.
Well this is what i learnt, we will not be able to identify our flaws ever if we keep looking/focusing to the other person's mistakes. Human mind is tend to justify ourselves anyhow. Just sharing my opinion.😊
Ladies n gentlemen May I present the doctor that helps heal broken hearts. Thank you coach lee
I miss my ex
I agree, it's fact, one who doesn't value your care at that time you should learn to love yourself.
Remember guys I know your emotions try to trick you but trust me your situation and your partners situation are more than likely not that special. They will more than likely respond in the same cliche manor as everyone else if you break no contact trust me if you reset it it just takes longer. Just remain strong and let no contact do all of the work for you
.update?
The only alternative to the no contact rule I can think of right off hand is to give into your anxiety, reach out and suffer the consequences- landing in the friend zone. Let’s watch the video and learn something.
Yes, I've had a lot of frustrations over the years of people who gave into the illusion and contacted their ex. Then they realized what a bad decision that was.
I did no contact for a week and a half and she reached out and said she wanted to talk. So we met up and went to a few places and had a lot of fun. She told me shes unsure of where her emotions are that she misses me but wants to be sure that shes not just attached to me. She flirted with me a lot and told me I have a lot of qualities she wants in a man, so it feels like im getting mixed messages on whether or not she wants to try again. She agreed to go see a movie with me next week but we didnt talk at all yesterday on new years eve. I wished her a happy new year since we have initiated contact, but if she decides to cancel our date I will go back to no contact and respect her decision.
Matt, she sounds like she's calling the shots, and only see you when SHE WANTS to. Move on, and let her go. She sounds like a PLAYER.
I honestly don't even want my ex back after seeing her do certain things just to hurt me after the break up when all I ever did was try to show her love affection and loyalty 🤮
Interestingly I waited so long for my ex to contact me. He texted me on New Years and then a week ago for my birthday. However, I also found out that he had two other girlfriends while we were together. Lmfao! Go figure. Safe to say that was big fat waste of time waiting for him to reach out. Now he's gone from ex bae to blocked! Good luck out there folks! 😂😂
right, which is why during the no contact rule one should be actually dating other people... so that you come from a place of abundance and you keep growing and evolving as a person.
Assuming that I didn't huh? Lol. Actually I was dating others....but didn't meet anyone I liked. Still doesn't take away from the point I made 🤦🏾♀️
Is been already 5month but she still coming as always in my mind we are 8yrs LDR damm i dont know what to do anymore its suck in my head
I never get any clear anwsers on the break up. It's always different excuses each time. At first they said I didn't live them and that I just wasn't good company. Next they said it was an unhealthy relationship (I didn't think so, we barely fought and I always let him do whatever he wanted. I just had to tighten the reins a little bit during covid) then he said it's unhealthy to date just one person in your adult life. We've been together for 8.5 years. That he wanted a room to himself. That he wanted to put all his decorations up. That he wanted to go out clubbing (at 29 while going back to uni). That he wanted to go on all these adventures (which we had planned pre covid). That he regrets the way we broke up and the timing but doesn't regret the break up. He had a break down scared I'd hate him and never talk to him again and that everyone would perceive him as an ahole ex. He still wanted to live together and share the same bed still. I made the mistake of allowing it but after a week I kicked him out of the bedroom. Then he went away for a week and came back with covid. So I was stuck in iso with him. Then after a week I got covid off him. More arguments happened, even family are angry at him and eventually I told him it's best for him to move out if he wants his space. He litterally owns a house but can't live in it because it's too far away. He also bought that house behind my back while dating. I did so much for him and stuck by him through so much and all his hospital admissions. I got him out of slum living and onto his feet. And he treated me like this in the end. He also told me I had been distant with his friends which isn't true either. I just couldn't make Sunday night game night because it didn't work for me. But I had no problems doing other activities with his friends every other day of the week. And everytime I try to ask him what the issue is and to bring it to the table so we can work it out but each time he never wants to. He complains about lack of affection but I always gave it to him when he asks. And about lack of sex but he never initiated and whenever I did he was never in the mood. He never helped with any of the housework except for the cooking on the nights he was home. Kicking him out is going to make it tough on me financially, but it's the only way either of us will get any space and start the no contact. And to give him the break up so hopefully he can reflect. He even had discounted rent living here becausehe didn't want to move out of a share house cause it'll be too expensive even though he earned more than me anyway.
Sounds like he needs a therapy.
Tomorrow will mark 3 months since I’ve talked to her. We haven’t spoken until she sent me a happy holidays text back in December. Saw her today walking around campus for the first time in a while. I’m starting to lose hope she really is done. We’ve dated for over a year but her friends tell me she’s already out tinder dating while I’m over here thinking of her and working on myself 🤦🏾♂️
Do not loose hope on yourself....Time is your best friend and your biggest enemy...
hang in there brother... but don't hold out hope... when women move on, they move on... I had to learn the hard way.
Stop counting days..
coach lee makes me not even want my ex back... hes like go love yourself leave them alone and in the process I'm like I want someone better than my ex.
Working for our friendship back gives me the chance to meet him again in real life in this long distance situation. I think this is the way for me
Thanks coach lee I bought your emergency break up kit and followed your advice after 6 weeks no contact he reached out yesterday
@@alexqueen2856 who helped you.? I'm interested to know.
People are saying to me, you should totally move on .I know he loves me,I don't want to kill him in pain
Rajwinder, I can recommend Coach Lee's Breakup Kit. myexbackcoach.com/ebk
I'd add to only do these alternatives if you as a person are in a state of mind after breaking up, a state of mind that allows you to properly move on after these options fail, because there is still a chance they will fail. Being in damage control mode whilst breaking no contact or going with these alternatives will be harsh and even worse then the initial break up
Yeah these ideas are just nuts ... 😆 I mean, congrats to those who found it helpful, but I think I’m staying with no contact.
It's interesting. Im doing no contact with my ex that I also work with. She pointed out that she was sad that I didn't say happy birthday to her, and now our only contact is just a smile as I pass by her at work. Will keep updated
I started no contact for about a week but I saw your clean slate video and noticed i didn't end it in a good way. I said the basic "I'm sorry for the way i acted during the break up and i respect your decision even if i disagree with it". Her friend messaged me to move on and wished me well since my ex didn't respond. I am going to start radio silence and do the best i can to work on myself. I have a feeling she is talking to someone new since last time we broke up she saw someone else. I'm starting radio-silence/ no contact again. I bought your ex back kit and I feel like it will help. Although I want her back, I know I want to grow as a person. If she comes back, maybe I will take her back, maybe I wont. But the signals from her not responding to my clean slate text, and her friend messaging me to move on is troubling. Would love some advice on my situation from you, Coach. Either way, I know I want to be better.
Start working for yourself..not everything is permanent, every relationship is temporary, time come hell come to you and remember the good times...if its yours it come back..if not accept and try to love yourself or date someone else...huhu i feel you same a bit senario, her friend told me to move on since my ex fiancee never message again for almost a month, it hurts but stay NC and watch here lee's videos relief me everyday and helps me stronger person.
Self respect! Let her go!
Tomorrow is her birthday...we haven’t talked for a full week. This is tough man
Try 3 months buddy
Same! My ex's birthday is on Friday! 😞
aj sundquist
I didn’t call her and she cried. Don’t contact her. Tell her you wanted to give her space with her over ones and people she put as her priority
Dont wish them
I wish I found these before I went on texting and calling. Not necessarily because I’m even sure I want him back at this point, just because it makes me look needy and unhinged.
Oh well, I’ve left him alone.
Not drinking helps. Don’t drink and text people! Lol
He reached out to me after 1 year of NC. It lasted 1 month (long distance relationship) He came in and out every 6 month or so. Now he broke it off again because I think he went back to a rebound he told me about and broke up with. So he was running back to me. He told me he'll never forget me but he'll never come back. I told him that as soon as I hang up I will forget him. So I hung up and have to start all over again. NC works. The only reason I answered it was a private number. I want him back but only with a commitment. So how do I do it next time he calls . How do I handle it?. Bye the way I like you better as a blonde. Lol
a year of your time is wasted ? let go he must be the one who should work on his issues and commit , leave him be
1 year? Come in and back? Obviously he don't love you at all. U need to just move on and get a better guy out there
11 years, it hurts to not talk to him but our relationship was so strong and I respect his decisions so I've let him do his thing. It's been a week and it feels like it's been a decade in time, I certainly hope that he thinks fondly of me as our breakup was his doing and was very calm...
Coach Lee, can you do a video on what to do / how to get yourself back together if NC doesn’t work (eg. delete from social media). After 40 days of no contact and resisting the urge to send her a birthday text, i was really making progress... until I saw my ex had updated her profile picture with an engagement ring! It hit my for six and have been struggling ever since. Your content is much appreciated, it really has helped me get through this past year. Thanks
The coffee story brought tears to my eyes too
I did cannabis behind my partners back she thought I stopped when are son was born. I should of stopped she found out and broke 💔 up with me before Christmas. I didn't help out as much as I should of I hated myself for continuing to smoke it. I miss my family soo much I've now stopped haven't had any for nearly 3 months
It's good to have you back coach.
Did I leave? 😁
My girlfriend of six months broke up with me a few days ago. We spoke the day after but agreed to take some time off and not reach out for a few days. We ended with no problems, not trust issues, no cheating, never even a fight. She has some mental health issues and they always get bad in the spring, and along with the virus thing right now, she believes she just needs to take time to care of herself first before a relationship. She still has feelings for me as I do for her. I think we have a chance to get back together. Her family and friends love me as mine do her as well. We’re both 16 also. I just need some advice on what to do in order to get her back after the few days of not talking.
I stopped all forms of communication with my ex gf because I was not happy. I was giving it my all and she wasn't giving back. In the end, she told me she won't talk much because of her exams but she feels like she's single in her head but she doesn't wonna leave me.. I continued messaging her 3 days after then I stopped, my pride was hurt. Been almost 3 months and she never made the effort to contact me. She seen me happy on social media and unfollowed me when she saw me travelling and shit... Any thought?,
What is the success rate of 'No Contact' if you're a man?
'No Contact' was designed decades ago for a woman to move on by sleeping with other men, for example: a counselor wants to help the woman get away from her exboyfriend or husband, so she suggests that the guy stop contacting her for 30, 60 or even 90 days.
It has never been designed as a strategy for men to get any woman back after a breakup. No Contact approach usually only works in the woman’s favor.
Anyhow, if Coach Lee can say exactly what is the success rate of 'No Contact' if you're a man, it would be an easy way to refute the claim that No Contact is only for women.
I'm a man and 2 of 3 exes came back. The one that didn't got married and we both moved to different states. One found me and the other had blocked me on social media then unblocked and we back at it. Both times took 6 months of NC.
A specific reason like a small patty reason to leave you is already a sign of low attraction and normally just an excuse to leave blaming you. If the attraction is high there will be no reason that qualify to leave. No one will leave someone they love without they been cheating, and even then they will stay if you convince them it was a mistake. There is no petty reason to leave if you love them. So I must disagree with that approach.
None of these work for me, the ex was the one who was obsessed with video games, lashed out repeatedly and tried jealousy... honestly I'm at a point where I can't see us getting together... It drove me insane how he wasted hours apon hours of playing games and say they have goals n won't do anything
Leave them better stop wasting time
I was that way. I was seriously depressed and used video games as an outlet. Even though I lost the love of my life. I haven't touched a video game and have worked on my self worth and actually having goals in life. I may never get her back I fucked up and got lost in self hatred. But I have never been so committed to changing my life. Unfortunately it is to late for me to get her back. But I've learned to let go of alotnof things.
Coach Lee. Thank you for your nice video! Can you please give some advice on dealing with exes with Peter Pan Syndrome? Is it easier for them to come back? How to cope with Peter Pans in the relationship? I figured out my ex bf was with this syndrome recently. I don't think I am the only one here. It can explain so many things!
Coach lee my almost x husband, showed up to the house two times and actually, he got an apartment since the day I receive that he filed a divorce, at first I tell him was so sorry and you told also in this video it's ok at first to let them know and at that first meeting I back of leaving them a message reason and straight 3 days no contact rule because of you coach lee you are sent from above.. In the third day, there were in the house leaving a lot of signs for me to see I came back and it's too obvious that they leave a lot of signs they been in the house and heartfelt I felt when I saw what they did, they even clean the cat poo my cat and did what they usually did when we're before.. and then he said how iam .. and he going into circle like he said did you tell to your mom .. and asking what’s your plan after?
And that’s the time I told him you know I know what’s our problem and what I did do wrong .. I am sorry for that if you give me another chance I know what to do now. Then that time he started crying and emotional explaining his side to me.. And he keeps talking until the topic started to roll out our relationship between us should be and how I need to learn to trust him and space(that’s what his reasoning) and it led on telling what I need to do like uninstalled Facebook and telling me the reasons why. He even talked about his days was and the past few days about his friends and 3 hours past when he suddenly keeps quiet when he mentioned people don’t change in one of his topics about his friends. And he told me to tell me directly he can't still believe if I am going to change or what I'm saying.. SOME ” so our relationship needs time.. And that's it, actually, I don't know know what do or do I have to a say something I just said as I told you I know now.. ” and he said ” it's not like it just accepts now.. Then when I trying to say that's why I said I'm sorry and I try to repeat what I said before.. Then, he went back saying take care ” then today he went back and I am sleeping I all of a sudden woke not prepared what should I do do I have to go back to sleep or should I awake. Can you make some videos of how to handle this situation? Like, I don't what is this he acted and what if he will said about the divorce procedure? -- anyway he asks me if I do need some groceries and he said we go together tomorrow at 7 pm omg what should I need to act please assist me namaste 🙏
Feb 11th will be a solid no contact & a month radio silent until recently posting on FB about my outings w friends & new places.
Hi coach Lee, me and my girlfriend of 1 year and 7 months just broke up. I've already done most of the wrong things after a break up lol (begging, apologizing, negotiating, and promising to fix it all) but unfortunately I locked my keys in my car and had to walk to her work for a ride. She was acting very strange when we talked (likely because she found out i had talked to a friend of hers about the situation) skipping all the small stuff we got to my house and talked a lot I did break down and what not I could tell she wanted to cry but when I asked she didnt want to admit it. She showed a lot of sympathy for me and told me I wasn'ta bad boyfriend. I left the car and as I got to the top of the stairs I had the urge to turn around. As I did I walked to her car to find her having a very bad breakdown. I started to ask what was wrong and she replied "I just wanted to get out of the car and hug you" I leaped out of the passenger seat and ran to her door opened it and hugged her. I talk to her and promised a better future for us and I'll NEVER forget the way she hugged my arm as tight as she did, it was like she didnt want to let go. I just kissed her on the forehead and cheeks, promising to be a better man in the future for her. We cried in each other's arms for about a minute. It was late and her mother was beginning to worry so she had to leave, she had college early in the morning. We said our goodbyes and hugged on last time. That was the last time I'd seen her in person. I'm currently on day 3 of no contact. Should I have hope of getting back together?
Breathing exercises + meditation = kills depression . Get busy and ...
nooo contact.
49 days no contact. I feel like I'm the only one missing. I am missing him so much.
Girl… you got this. Lets be friends cause I’m going no contact as well.
@@Iwish387 girl I stopped no contact on day 62. I planned to text him after 60 days. Followed Coach Lucia's advice about the 60 day no contact rule. She really means forever until they contact you and she says normally they contact between day 45 and 60. He's still being stubborn .Lol.
@@Iwish387 so did you start no contact? I regret doing it to be honest. I feel he became more distant afterwards
traci68, STAY STRONG, GIRL! 💪👍
@@jannlewandowski5540 Lol I'm still in touch with him. You?
We have each other’s location on Snapchat should I turn it off so no contact is more effective?
LBR Spice The less you know about them the easier it is for you mate
Turn off your location setting. Think of it this way. Your ex needs to experience the feeling of missing you in order for this to work. That means that you need to make it appear to your ex that you’ve fallen off the face of the earth. No calls, no texts, no messaging, no bumping into your ex, no getting any messages to your ex through your friends or family. NOTHING!!!!! Don’t even post stuff on social media where your ex can see it. And keep this in mind: You need to keep doing this through the first few phases that your ex goes through BEFORE your ex actually begins to realize that he/she misses you. (At first your ex will not miss you). So you need to bite the bullet and commit to doing this stuff!
Keep watching coach lees videos daily for support (you’ll need it!)
This stuff works only if you truly do absolute no contact. If you start listening to that little voice in your head that says “I’ll call her or text her or drive by her home just this once” then your going to blow it, she will get her “fix” of you and it will take a lot longer for her to actually reach the phase of her experiencing the feeling of missing you so you really need to buckle up and get serious about this stuff!
Coach lee knows what he’s talking about. Don’t second guess him (your brain and your heart will try to convince you otherwise but you need to realize that your heart is only being naturally emotional, it’s not thinking clearly. The coach is always thinking clearly without emotion.
It worked for me and I doubted it in the beginning too but I now understand it and why it works. I’ve watched so many videos that it’s drilled into my head. You need to do the same.
Good luck.
Yes.
@@moxiefox5021 usually around 3 weeks your ex will start going through the curiosity stage and starts wondering but yes staying radio silence is a very powerful method
I feel so conflicted sometimes based on what my ex said to me and based on what my positive attitude says. I have friends of mine and hers that say she’d be a fool to lose me but I feel like I need more advice because my situation is similar to most but I’ve been told by my ex that we will never get back together
I tried so hard not to contact my ex of 3 years But 2 weeks of No contact got the better of me & I sent her a text.
No reply from her and I'm back to square one I guess. I should have kept up " No contact". I feel so stupid. I'm trying not to think about her but that's all I think about. Thank you Coach Lee for your clips but I think I'm done and will have to face the fact that we will never be a couple again.
I hate the fact ites a power struggle I thought real relationships were spose to be love not control.
The thing is My Ex is a relationship coach. NLP practitioner and psychologist,
I have no chance
@@madurakanade6173
My ex is a relationship coach NLP practitioner and a psychologist and a former Negotiator for Westpac. I have no chance whatsoever
if this no contact is longer than 3 months, I don't think that relationship is ever going to get back, or the person wants to get back, this is what I understood, am I right?
5 weeks into NC he contacted me 3 weeks ago i replied politely played it called... Then nothing since? Testing the water's perhaps?
So it's been 3 months of nc and I still love her just as much. I miss her and want her back. I just don't know what to do. I'm tempted to initiate contact
Backstory: So we met last March. We were together for a bit but then broke up in July. She was scared by my past(currently active duty but before the military I was in a gang). Fast forward to mid September, she texted me from the hospital. Bad accident but she was ok. By this time, I had flown to another place so it was long distance. She said it meant a lot that I still cared and all that. Couple days after getting back from the hospital, they called her to tell her she had a tumor. Told me before her family and she was devastated. A day or two after, I got a text from a friend that does contracting(mercenary work for lack of a better term) saying there was an opening for site security in Afghanistan. I applied so that I could go after I get out of the military for 6 months, more on that in a few......... So I tell her and she wasn't happy with it but ok'd it. Meanwhile she breaks up with her rebound and started to plan a trip and fly out to me. Also, she overtly told me she doesn't care about my past anymore. Later, we find out the tumor was benign and not cancerous. So it was a huge relief. Couple days later I told her I cancelled the Afghanistan contract. She was surprised and asking why I did. Told her I didn't need the money anymore. She was confused asking if I needed it for the move(I am moving back to her area when I get out of the military). I tell her no... I didn't need the money because it wasn't cancer...... She was emotional about it. The surgery was scheduled and the trip got cancelled but it was ok. Afterward the job search started for getting out. I started looking for a job in a city about an hour from her. She tells me to send her my Resume and portfolios so she could help look for one in her hometown. She didn't find one so I kept searching in the city. That weekend she went to the city for a seminar and was complaining about it. Said she only went to be able to attend the dinner afterward. I asked why. Magically, she was searching for a job in the city now. Now, at this point, I had job offers about 8 hours away from her as well. We also never talked about our future or what we were. So I asked her and said that if we didn't have a future I was going to the far away job because I can't be that close, see her with other guys and be ok. She dodged it and I let her. Next weekend, it was the one before her surgery, she said she was going out on a girls night out. She was snapping me the entire night. It was a house party deal. Eventually though, all the girls disappeared, dudes showed up, and it was just her and all these guys. I called her out on it and asked if there was a future or not. She dodged it. Removed me from snap a couple days later (Nov 10). Surgery happened (Nov 12) and she started texting me about it the entire night but nothing after. November 22 and 24 I texted her asking if she was ok and recovering well. Both times she replied and I left it at that.
We haven't talked since. She still likes my posts on Instagram. What are the odds she'll reach out again? I am moving to her area in April (last we spoke, it was the far place and in July). Do you think there's hope for us getting back together?
need a bit of help. when my ex broke up with me i went into no contact. i told him that i wasnt ready to give him his things back. well 3 months into no contact he is asking if he can get his things. I want to know if this is a good sign. im meeting up with him and i am hoping will we meet up and talk and catch up. but i dont want to scare him off should i play it cool or should i spill out my feelings i want him to see ive changed and i want the best chance of getting him back please help.
Play it cool. Make it appear that everything is okay. He probably is testing the water. You'll find out. Make baby steps with him. Go with the flow. Don't initiate anything. Let him. You'll definitely scare him off if you pour out yourself with pent up emotions. Tell him when he can collect his things. Don't show any excitement at all. Just be on a perky mood, be mysterious and by this, you'll make him wonder. And if you make him wonder, you'll invade his thoughts more often. Just hang in there.
Doc Strange would the face to face with him work in my favor and if he tells me to stop by his place and he invited me in and we just talk about just the things we’ve been up to would that be ideal for us getting back together?
@@jordynb8073 It probably will. There are possibilities. If he tells you to stop by, don't jump right in as it shows eagerness from your part. You can probably say you have prior engagement and you are open to reschedule. I would do it in a coffee shop though and not in his place. Be the best you can look - simple yet captivating. Remind yourself to be casual and friendly. Just like the first date but with a twist! Better version of yourself.
@@jordynb8073 i think be kind and thats it. I would not talk about feelings or any of this stuff. If he broke up with you it has to be he who takes steps, not you. Be someone who feels good without him too.
Alternatives to the No Contact Rule:
1. Reason it out
2. Quantifiable change (change that can be seen directly, for example if your parents are the main problem in the relationship, move out of your parents house) (this is hard proof that there have been constructive changes, it's something that they can see, they can measure and observe)
3. Address a real and specific problem
4. (3-10 days no contact period)
5. Continuing a tradition
No. 6 seems a bit too extreme and risky for me, so I'd just list out the first 5.
But the first 5 are still not as powerful as the No Contact rule, so we'll have to be really careful when using it and see it if fits our own situation.
Coach Lee can you make a video about Situationships? It sucks getting dumped by someone before commitment. 😔
Please answer Coach : We had ONE big fight...I acted ridiculous.. then I didn’t contact him for a week until I sent him a much needed apology.. I apologized and he accepted saying he understood I wasn’t myself and then he said, just know I don’t judge you.. then I responded with thank you ,that I needed to hear that and that he could reach out anytime he needed. He never responded and hasn’t in 90 days... I never reached back out. It’s so crazy to me because I was crazy there for him and vice versa and we had zero issues until this fight, I may have scared him because I got so emotional... Do you think it’s too late? Please answer me.. I want to ask you on phone consult but I know you don’t do those.. can you please answer me here? Should I reach out now and say hello or wait? Thank you! Love the look today
Yes. See how he is doing. Get a baseline.
Thank you so much 😊 I will reach out once I get the nerve and I feel the time is right. I will come back and update.
Coach Lee I don’t think I’m going to do it. I told him he could reach out and he never did. I would feel like crap if he ignored me. Maybe some day in the far off future if he’s still single I’ll say hello :)
I decided to do about 2-3 weeks. Our relationship was a little under 4 months and it was specific issues. But because I was clingy, longer than 10 days I think is necessary. Hoping it works. I'm gonna try my best to work on myself during this period.
Meow,
Meow, definitely work on yourself about being "clingy." That can hurt a relationship. Be yourself, and enjoy. Good luck! ⚘️
I did NC n he is now divorcing me. It's all due to his parents. If I would be there then Nonsuch things happened. But what to do. NC is good for him n he is divorcing me. All my life I have loved and I still love but.... It's hopeless man and hopeless parents of him
@@freddaniel3750 whose number is this
I broke NC after 21 days, because i felt i needed to apologise. I simply did that and wished my ex all the best. No begging or mention of a reconciliation. Now back in NC.
Any updates?
@@IronKurdi - still in no contact and dating new people.
What do I do or say after the no contact rule, that’s where I’m stuck
I want to know that too
Maybe allow the other people to text you first
Unicornaj Mg self control ,don't let the other person knows you're glad she's back and most importantly talk less .
Best thing to do is try without trying, care without caring, etc. Don't go all in. Instead let them win you over and back. Don't talk about the past, I can't stress this enough. Whatever issue/s were in the past, leave them. Unless the other brings them up. But don't let the wound/s bleed out with your responses. Apologize for your shit. Own it and move on. Don't over do it. Don't take blame for what the other did. Remember, you're trying to try without trying. Over apologizing and or taking all the blame is buckling and makes you look weak and insecure and proves you're a door mat to be walked on. Feeds their ego and you look pathetic to them all over again. Keep it light and casual. Respond politely and don't show negative emotions. But be confident and stern to a degree with what your wants, needs and desires are. Don't make it all about you, but don't make it all about them either. Getting won over vs winning them over. You got left. They need to make amends for their half first. Reply when spoken to and not rudely. Allow them to see you in a different light. Get your respect back. I hope you feel better and remember, this is your time!
Depend on how you broke up in the first place but I really recommend talk to them in person first then through text. Just don’t be too dramatic, you’ll make it awkward for both of you. Be casual, talk about other interesting stuff and try not to bring up anything about your relationship to them(that can wait for way later). Then you can just hangout with that person sometime just to rebuild your relationship with that person. But just remember not to rush anything. Take it slow, take your time
I just started dating my ex again we’re not official but do I still ask him if we can delete our dating apps? To me it feels like I’m giving him the cookie of dating me and eating the cookie by talking with others at the same time? It feels very wrong to me, is it reasonable or nah?
Ive stopped texting him but i can’t stop looking on messenger the last time he’s been active 😣 I dont want to block him either because I’m still curious if he will pop up. I’m trying my hardest to distract myself from thinking about him
We are on the same boat. Trying my hardest with no contact. I have so much things left unsaid and to release them, I journalize it instead.
I’ve been doing that too x
Unicornaj Mg You can turn off activity status in settings. That way he's not blocked but you can't see when he was last active either 😄.
I deleted the app or got dark mode an cut of your active status also try doing things to stay busy
Just unistall messenger..You just make things harder
Well damn, wish I saw this video earlier, we had a fight and she told me she wants to break up, I told her okay we break up then, and I went in to no contact right away for 2 weeks, then I saw this video and I contacted her and apologised and all and asked her to reconcider the breakup, she told me that 2 weeks have gone and now it might be too late... but she told me later that she cant be with me, at least for now. So there is some hope and I asked her out for coffee in 2 days and we will see how it goes. Its been very difficult to keep no contact for both of us. I will let you know what she said after the coffee date!
Good work Coach Lee.
I miss my ex, it's been a few months of no contact.
Bro bumalik ba ex mo?
I did this and I took a step back and let her know the situation and I told her I made changes and she open up to me and told me what was a big problem and we had coffee when we spoke and she saw the changes and we laugh but she ended the conversation and I said that ok we will catch up another time and she was not mean or arguing with me and it was a step on resting everything and it was ground one for me.
It’s been a couple of months since my ex broke up with me. I want her back and been trying to do the no contact, but she messages me every day but I only text her back if it’s worth replying to. On Monday night she asked me to go over to talk but ended up having sex. She said during that she wants to be with me so I asked her what she wanted and still said she doesn’t know. I’m not waiting up for her so I’ve been talking to other people and sleeping with others so how would I get her to notice that so she can chase me even more and win me back? I feel like I’ve been so dry with her that she told me that she won’t be bothering me anymore because I’ve made it clear I’m trying to move on but I don’t want her to stop messaging me and move on from me I’m scared to lose her.
Obaseki Peter that’s actually him or...?
What if he has a credit obligation to me but he just stopped talking to me? I forced to unfriend him in fb ..but what about his obligation?
I keep breaking the no contact rule I’m not strong enough
Coach Lee, my partner is a recovering addict and I have contributed to his transition to recovery. Was a hard and rocky road, but led to loss of trust from my end. Now that he's clean he has picked up his social life again with his lifetime friends and his social media stuff and is not very communicative with me and this doesnt help build the trust he broke with me. We broke up because he feels like he is in a cage with me. We were in a serious relationship for 1.5 years, and I feel hurt that he feels like he's in a cage, I love him and I know he loves me, and I'm always looking fwd to spend time together, but he gets more excited with his friends I guess. He doesnt go out often, but when he does he could easily spend 8 or more hours with them and I feel disconnected with him. He also lies a lot about being somewhere yet he's somewhere else.
I think it was unfair that he didnt put much effort to rebuild our relationship. How should I handle this? We're both 44 years old, we're not kids
I'm in a similar situation, when he came out of rehab he was so off with me and went going outside with friends and was happy beeing without me, I was in panic for weeks and he said it's too much for him, then he was less and less attracted to me and he lost all his interest 😭 he broke up and reached out few times but he don't wanna try fix it or be together, just friends he said and I ruined it because I'm still so hurt that he just left me like this after all.... 😭 I'm 11 days in no contact and I think he won't reach out anymore, I think he found someone else who he's focused on 😔 sometimes I feel Im falling apart 🥺😔 do you have any update?
I’m hurting so bad I can barely hang on. If this doesn’t change, I can’t even begin to imagine how I’ll be able to go on. This is unbearable.
Update?
What should I do?
My ex and I had a 3 month relationship, it's kinda like a limerence, it lasted 2-3 weeks for her feelings to fade, we are just high school students and classmates, I'm doing strategic contact for a month now,,, everytime we'll have interactions we just ignore each other, if I greet her I'd look like am chasing her no matter what because she's always with her friends. And those friends of her are just her new acquaintances when we broke up, ig it is just to comfort her and boost her ego to feel better. What should I do coach lee?
Zain, I highly recommend Coach Lee's Breakup Kit. It's awesome! myexbackcoach.com/ebk..it does work.
Feel like giving up broke no contact this week and last week when i come to work and change work shift with her and for 2 weeks she totaly ignores me walk longer ways just to stay away from me i try now again for 4-5 time to go no contact but im weak
I recently was the one dumped in a two year long relationship. I went into no contact for three months an then I sent him a text asking if you feel the same about me because I wanted to get back together.
He told me he's already dating an it's only been three months an he doesn't feel the same anymore. How does someone date again that quick after a two year relationship?
It doesn't make sense, so I just deleted his number an I am currently talking to other people. My ex was also an achololic.
That's not quick fr... My ex broke up with me and got a boyfriend a week later. We were together for 2 years. Told me she didn't love me anymore and that she loves him. People just do whatever they want. There's no set time on anything. Better to just assume your ex doesn't love you anymore and find someone who does. It really doesn't make sense but that's just how it goes sometimes.
@@mazokuwarrior My ex also never told me he has Aspergers until a year into our relationship, so he always thought he was better than me an everyone around him.
He texted me again an I told him relationships will always have fighting/problems an no one is perfect.
I started to compare saying you expect to buy a new car an it not have issues down the road. Or buy a used car with issues an fix them. Comparing it to relationships in general.
He told me he gets rid of used cars. Pretty sure my ex is a narcissist.
Hi Coach Lee, I have a question about my LDR.. My ex and I got back together after a month.. But now he seems distant, he said that things aren't going to be the same anymore.. He said that he wants to have his freedom back but at the same still in a relationship with me.. I guess I was being too needy before.. So any advice on how to react when he's being distant?
Thanks a lot in advance 😊
Update : he broke up with me because he said he doesn't love me anymore
Give him time dont preasure things
what about when you suffer from depression and neglected the relationship because of it? what kind of contact would you recommend for this type of scenario? What I did so far was take the time to work on myself with therapy but I feel like I hurt her feelings pretty deeply
MikeMethot256 my ex also suffers from issues and left me behind hurt. Can we talk?
Apologize for your part, and be sincere. Then, go no contact for a while, and see what happens.
Any update? I had a similar thing happen with my depression.
Broke no contact for clean slate message, fucked it up big time. He was sweet to me bt my own conscious is killing me thinking that I have increased his ego mayb.
COACH LEE.. I am still a student and I can't afford your emergency kits and stuff. I have a very unique situation that might add to your experience as well including "her seeing another girl" even before breakup. I love her so much and you might be the only person who can help me sir.
I understand how you feel now I have someone who help me out he can help you try and message him now
Cruor his WhatsApp
+23481 1676 5476
thankyou ma'am. i really appreciate it
@@gwynhughes6104 thankyou so much ma'am
My ex keeps trying to talk to me, sometimes she tryna be cold, but she's always like I'm avoiding her because I don't contact her, I reply when she messages I return her calls but I don't call or text her and she keeps saying she misses me
My ex and I are long distance after the breakup. She has friends there. She's having good times, hikes with them.
I'm doing no contact.
Will she forget me and move on because of friends keep her happy all the time. Won't she reach out?
Heya coach. I was left by a girl who wasn't technically my girlfriend after being intensely close friends with benefits for over a year. We never made it official because I was moving away, but I knew she always wanted it and we still visited each other during the time apart. I was about to ask her to be my girlfriend but she took the wind out of my sails and told me she no longer had feelings before I had the chance, and then I was forced to tell her my feelings during that moment. Guess I just waited too long and she moved on. I know no-contact would probably be the best option for my healing, but does a situation like this call for anything different or at least modified if I want to save it? I'm afraid that the distance between us and the previous lack of commitment might make it easier for her to forget me.
What if my ex and I have been broken up for a month. She has yet to stop texting me “how amazing we were” and “how lucky we were” and sending songs we listened to and pictures of us and even pictures of me saying “I miss this guy” but then I asked to meet to talk she says the day of.. “I don’t think I want to, sorry” but then silence for two weeks and then another text of song lyrics stating “my kiss brought her back to life” and also saying “that will forever be true” what do I respond with seeing as how my simple responses have dragged it out this long and no forward movement has occurred regarding us being together.
No contact aint going to work, she lives in the same street.
Tim Phillips, you can be casual. That's it!
What would you say to a guy for advice when the girl has said she’s lost attraction? This has happened to me so I’ve not contacted her and told her not to contact me unless she’s serious about something. I’ve been a beta I admit so need to sort myself out.
I’m currently doing no contact but I feel because I’ve said don’t contact me I’ve made a mistake and the no contact rule won’t work
Now I feel confused in my case as me and my LDR, NEVER MET bf met on matrimonial site... I had been time n again asking about his intentions only to hear he was 'unsure''. 9 months went by, in the last I asked him again about his intentions for us and he said 'i dont know ',so I asked him ''should I start speaking to other men on the marriage site??".(as m in my marriageable age, losing time, he knew this) . He said its upto you ,but deep down he wouldn't want that..
Now wen Im on the site he broke up with me blaming me for 'not fighting back for him' i tried once calling n talking he refused and said all is over...
What should I do, should I still try to talk and say all I needed was him and no other man or NC???? PLEASE HELP