Ghosting is so selfish. You should just let the other person know why you’re not interested, instead of making them wonder what’s happened or if you will communicate back. Rejecting hurts but at least there is clarity.
I gave clarity. They chose not to listen. I carried through with what I told them would happen. They cried saying that they didn't understand and just wanted a reason which I had already given in the first place. I didn't respond. Why should I have? It's extremely situation based - if you ask me.
@@-ix-3152 u remind me of someone and uk it hurts when i have to digest the fact tht i have to hate her to forget her otherwise i just can never get over her which seems like the final answer sometimes And yeah it is situation based and i am still fuckin hurt and atp i cant even talk to anyone bout it cuz my friends dont like talkin bout her cuz of all the hurt and well idrk why i am so weak and sorry for dumping all of this on u too and i still cant hate her cuz i just ugh i cant I srsly feel like idew make new relationships cuz they r all gonna end like this bcuz i am very bad person despite all my efforts and i am even doubting my several years old friendships now and what hurts even more is the thought how she is always on my mind and she doesnt even care if i am alive or not and all her influence which is permanent on me and how she has rubbed off on me and she will forget me like a used tissue I basically pity my ownself now cuz i was thinking whether she is gonna care if her ex bff would be dyin or not I need help i think anyways again sorry for dumping all of this to whoever gets unlucky enough to read this
Really does. My friend or “friend” has even blocked me before ever since they moved to a new country. They ghosted me for a week, after something I did was exaggerated to such an extreme point that 95% of it just wasn’t true I’d say. I was always there for the person, never did anything wrong. I was always the one to apologize even if it was for something they did. This was a friendship for 4 years. This past weekend, they reassured me they would not leave me and even said they were gonna continue talking to me. Then Sunday came and now they’ve been ghosting me again. I’ve now given them a choice and if they don’t respond in 3-4 days, I’m just not going to be friends with them. We used to talk every day too. It wouldn’t bother me if their response was just clear to me. I dont like to end things on bad terms but this has gotten very much out of hand.
1. They don't feel safe 2. They want revenge 3. Fear of intimacy 4. It's the easiest course of action 5. They're going through something in their personal life 6. They're afraid of confrontation
I once ghosted a person, but i dont think im the guilty one. She pretended she was commiting suicide on discord dms to guilt trip me into talking with her. To top it all of, i was 11, and i didnt know what to do other than just stay away from her
BlueEyedAuthor i personally find that sometimes i need to for my own personal wellbeing and i need to take a day or two in my own thoughts. sometimes talking to other people and putting on a fake smile seems exhausting and i just need to be alone for a couple days.
@@bronislawamaciejewski9884 Maybe telling the person you're not in a good mood to talk or you are going through some problems is better, you don't need to say exactly what is the problem. I've been ghosted before, and I believe, if the person who ghosted me told he was going through problems, he wanna stay away for some time and didn't want to specify in details, I would be much better, i would not have blamed myself for his choices, and be overthinking every thing that I did. Taking a time to yourself is great, but is not an excuse to ghost someone, it hurts, a lot in fact. It's hard to say we are going trough shit, but is better for both, and if the person doesn't understand you need a time, you really should reconsider continue with this relationship or not.
Psych2Go I think that most people ghost you because they are in the wrong themselves in how they’ve treated you , and they don’t have time for you and don’t want to resolve things. Let’s face it You are just not valuable enough to them as a friend! 😞
@@Psych2go I keep it to myself, I feel it from time to time and am not sure how to approach this situation in the correct manner. My friend really likes their personal space (often spending time alone) so I wish to respect that personal boundary. Currently, I am experimenting how long it will take my friend to notice I stopped initiating interactions. I want to talk to them but don't know what to do. I want to fix this friendship but can't
Sal it could be, for me I think she was trying to figure out what she wanted out of the relationship and me... sometimes there are clear messages we ignore
Being ghosted has pretty much destroyed any shred of self confidence I had, has given me trust issues with people in general. Already had worsening depression and anxiety over the past few months, being ghosted just amplified it and pushed me further down since she was the one and only person I ever trusted enough to talk about these things with. So yeah, don't ghost someone you claimed to love.
Sorry that it happened to you bro. It just recently happened to me too. Also sorry this reply section is filled with comments by that stupid bot. I went out on a date with a girl and she acted like she really liked the date and I was just being very friendly. She even told me she wanted to see me again. But then she straight up ghosted me for no reason. Really increased my anxiety 😥
yeah, i’m honestly in the same boat. i genuinely liked him and thought he felt the same i mean he said he did idk. we didn’t even get the chance to go on our date. my confidence is so low and i wish i could just know what happened. it hurts that he still follows me on socials, even is still in our Spotify blend.
It just happened to me, too. I was with a girl for 2 months and she broke it off with me about a month ago. She reached back out claiming she needs me in her life and she loves me. I plan to go over there on Halloween, but she cancels last minute like usual and says we can do something the following day. That was on 10/31/22. It's been over 2 weeks now and she has not reached back out. I reached out 4 days after just to check to see if she was alive. Zero response! I'm over the bullshit.
@@icecsm16 that's fucked bro. So sorry you had to go through that. I went on a date with this girl who liked me and then for no good reason at all she ghosted me and completely cut me off. I tried reaching out to her multiple times but she just didn't respond so I gave up. Was so stressful though because I was trying the whole time to figure out what I'd done to make her do that to me.
I have a feeling (and that's my personal feeling) that if people ghost you and you change your number meanwhile or whatever, they think they can just find you on social media if they will ever want to talk again. (I DID actually find my friend from a few years on Linkedin and because I don't have it made that he doesn't see who looked at his profile, he knows it was me-he did the ghosting though so I doubt he cares)
@@Psych2go Absolutely social media makes it real easy to ghost people.Totally agree with the post by KoKane the internet is a double edge sword it can be great for making new friends but than it's also just as easy to ghost them if you decide upon talking to them there is just something about them you don't like or they say something stupid that pisses you off and it's just that easy to ghost them. The internet makes it super easy for anyone to be a bully or ghost you. You forgot to mention in this video the two other reasons why people ghost you, reason 7 they decided they don't like you, maybe they never did like you in the first place. Reason number 8 they are cat fishing
I can kinda relate to that, but it's with one of my friends, they say they will always be there but when I cry for help they just bypass it, it really hurts
@@Psych2go It seemed intentional because I was reaching out to them during a weekend and when I made a rant about ghosting on social media (I wasn't even specifying it towards anyone specifically), that person ended up blocking me. If they didn't mean to ghost me, they wouldn't of felt attacked.
@@TributesAndUnique OR your hostility passed through and they decided they don't want toxic in their life. That's a possibility too : ) Manipulation is a no no, no matter what you suspect, if a person assumes the worst about me, I'd rather they'd be out of my life... that's where the cycle of trust issues begin, I don't mess with people who has a complete inability to trust, even without solid proof - I've been there, done that, it's just a big tiring drama show that can never end, you can't fix someone else's insecurities... I had to learn it the hard way.
I kinda went through the same thing where one of my friends completely disappeared for half an year saying that he'll be back. We were good friends so we thought there were some kind of circumstances which were overwhelming him and we didn't complain. Once he was back, we talked for a few days and he was all like "I miss you guys so muchh" and then he started ghosting us. He would come online, but never respond even if we tagged/dm'd him. This time, I was sure he was just ghosting us. Maybe he found better friends. Anywayz I'm still hoping for the best for him. I've come to terms with the fact that friendships are temporary and we'll all drift away someday. It was good while it lasted.
I have literally zero friends right now because I had to cut all of them off. All of my "friends" would constantly ghost or flake on me or were super unreliable; but then I would be the one to always come through for them. I only kept them around because I didn't want to be alone and the small times that they did come through, it felt good. One day I woke up and realized enough is enough. I blocked them all on social media and deleted their numbers, I'd rather be alone than feel like a doormat for another second.
I cut off all social media and contact with people for 10 months & only a few good friends hung in there for me. You’re best getting rid of toxic ppl. Good luck 😊
I feel you!!! Although I cared about her, I finally got rid of a long-term friendship for 20 years because she was a burden emotionally and financially😞
Agreed, I shouldn't have to force a friendship or be the only one reaching out first. People just don't care about me anymore unless they want something out of me. I have no real life friends anymore. 💯😢
Depends on what you mean by safety and healthy. For instance, those on the autistic spectrum, who already have a great deal of trouble with socialising and communicating with people generally, "ghosting" may be a way of dealing with someone you know that exerts a lot of energy & drama.
@@rhysellis928 I dated one and I gotta say, we ended things after amicably having a (long) chat about how were weren't applicable to each other so no one ghosted anyone. And I could be named as someone with a lot of energy. So speaking from personal experiences, I can't really say if that is true. (But obviously everyone is different)
Psych2Go Not sure how you teach empathy, or if it’s even possible. You can try to paint a picture of the other person being devastated, not having a chance to learn why, and the long term psychological effects of not getting closure so as to move on In life. But if you have to explain that to someone, chances are they’re disordered and could care less.
Lights In The Dark Thank you. I just think if someone is capable of ghosting you, they never cared about you to begin with. It’s cruel and it’s impact is lasting.
summary: 1. They don’t feel safe 0:44 2. They want revenge 1:08 3. Fear of intimacy 1:33 4. It’s the easiest course of action 2:02 5. They’re going through something in their personal life 2:27 6. They’re afraid of confrontation 3:04 Recommend watching to learn more 🖤
If you notice of them ghosting you, just walk away. Let them appreciate your absences and move on with life, I learn that the hard way in my last relationship
That's not how it works, if someone ghosts someone and they get sick of it, that's when they should put their foot down and be assertive by saying stop ghosting me please, this is not normal
A person I thought was a "friend" ghosted me, and found out how great I was doing in life and wanted to be friends later. I laughed at them, and I feel so free without that person in my life.
If they're ghosting. Then just let them go and move on. If they act all suprised that you dont respond to them after months or even years afterward. They're the ones who initiated this behavior.
@@Psych2go oh yeah, I've been ghosted by friends from grade school up to college. With social media, it unfortunately shows our "friends" true colors when YOU are always the one reaching out to them and yet THEY never do the same.
I’m dealing with a “zombie”. A little different from ghosting. The person I’ll text who I’ve known for years and had cared for years in college with. All of sudden after years of contact and texting she only answers 2/10 she’ll text me months later after disappearing for weeks without explanation. She did mention she has a job now but didn’t make that the reason why she was gone. She’ll text me once in a blue moon of her stuff. I asked her one time if she wanted to talk on the phone and she didn’t answer. Which hurt me so much cause she’ll text me weeks later about other stuff like it didn’t happen. Now I haven’t texted her cause I leave it to her to text me. And this hurts me cause it’s been a month and she hasn’t text me once. The last text I got from her was happy new year 2021. So I’m depressed because she told me she cares about me which hurts me inside
I was ghosted by my boyfriend four years ago. One day he just stopped texting back. It was terrible to worry if something bad happened to him and it was so embarrassing to ask his friends about him. I felt just humiliated. I'm alright now, finally, but back then it was one of the most painful things I went through. I've never found out what was his reason and I was blaming myself for a long time. To all ghosting-survivors here - please, take care of yourselves, one day that horrible pain will go away ♥️
It’s so hard not to internalize ghosting. And when it happens in a pattern, it just makes me feel like what am I doing that people feel like they can’t tell me? It’s painful and confusing.
#5 Being brave enough to pull away from an abuser and finally take the steps towards getting the real love and support you deserve. There are two sides to every coin.
@@oldsport1092 exactly, ive fallen head over heels with a woman that would tell me she ghosted many guys she had met before, she wasnt that well with her head always saying "you dont actually like me you like the idea of me" strange things man. Although i do want to respect her because I don't actuallly know whats going on with her life. So many part of me wants to be like "She a coward" but eh. guess we all gotta go through our lives then
7. They've lost that lovin' feelin'. I've asked someone why he ghosted his ex gf a long time ago. And that was his reason, along with reason #2. He said that she said something hurtful prior to his ghosting her.
I’ve been ghosted by my first ex gf out of nowhere and I can tell you it’s a PAINFUL trauma. It’s been 8 months and I’m still healing quite slowly and the rumination is awful to the point that I get physically sick. Please if you are planning to ghost on someone or have a habit of ghosting, especially to your loved ones, consider the ramifications of your actions as it can cause major mental damage to the other person 😊
Yes, so sorry to hear that. Being ghosted by a significant other hurts. This video is made to help raise awareness on this topic. Hopefully, that goal could be accomplished with more views!
I was ghosted by my first bf, who was also a close childhood friend, so I know the pain. I'll tell you it does get easier once you overcome the first hurdles. Took me a few years, but I was able to open up again and now I'm in a good relationship with someone who makes me much happier than my ex ever did. I wish you the best of luck and hope you're doing okay in these trying times.
My ex ghosted me 4 months after he broke up with me,we were together for 10,5 years. We never talked again, we used to talk to each other every day. It's been 1,5 years now since he vanished from the face of the earth,and I still find it so hard to cope. I feel lonely, I can't imagine ever being with someone else. I isolate myself and I feel depressed. I just work, eat, sleep repeat.
Honestly, I just live by the fact "if they ghost you, your presence never mattered to them outside of a convenience." It's also the same reason I tell people who ghosted me to fuck off if they come back.
But what about if you felt that person is kinda not interested in you and you really wanted to meet up with that person but he always found excuses? So then it's ok to just ghost him? Just asking, cuz I ghosted him cuz I couldn't take it anymore. I was disappointed cuz I really liked him. But what happened was, when he realized I blocked him he wrote me on my cell and asked why I did that and that he found it sad. So I explained him why, but he denied everything and made me look like the bad person. Still no meeting from his side :/ and he was pissed after all (I think for him it was just ego thing; he couldn't take that ghosting and not because he actually really liked me). So after that we both did the silent treatment. And 2 days ago he deleted me...I feel really sad cuz I think I fell in love and he was always the one who told me that he would love to see me but always made excuses. I felt that he was multidating cuz we both met on bumble and he is younger than me...any recommendations about that anyone?
@@artistically_pain3876 not too long tbh (we only talked for about 2/3 weeks) and after that it just went toxic with blocking, ignoring watching stories etc. for about 2 months. We met on a dating app (I wrote on my profile that I only look for friendships, he knew my intentions) but somehow he started flirting and complementing me a lot. He was way younger (29 and me 36) that's why I couldn't take it serious. In the end I fall for him, he always initiated a meeting but always found excuses (I knew he was talking to other girls at the same time). In the end I couldn't take it anymore and I blocked him. When he founded it out he text msgs me the other day and was sad and disappointed that I've done it. Well the story goes on, he blocked and unblocked me but when I didn't respond to his last msg he blocked me for good. Now there is nothing anymore for over a month. I found him on that dating app again couple weeks ago, and he found someone just after 1 week, cuz he deleted his account within 1 week. It hurts a lot!
@@grippers_unmatched I am sorry that Happened to you. But believe me when I say this, The people we love the most the people we think our very own end up hurting us the most. Thats the saddest fact and no one can deny it. That happens because we consciously, unconciously end up giving them the power to do so. We love them so much we start depending on every tiny bit of happiness and light from them. Sometimes they fail to realize what they are to us and do this to us. All what we can do is accept the fact that we may love someone more than anything in this world but they have to realize that if yes thats well and good if not all what you can do is learn from a distance.
@@Psych2go I cant give advice to someone myself being a hypocrite now can I? What I would Like to tell them is You have to accept the fact that everybody, everybody Always, Always Has a choice. No matter how hard and bad or worse the situation is. They had a choice, They did but they Made a choice which ended up hurting you and you cant do anything about what happened but you can make sure that you can make a difference a difference by forgiving them for the pain but that doesnt mean having them back in your life learn to love from a distance.let them be in your prayers and well wishes but not in your lives :') I am the distorted broken mess i am right now only Because of all those people who i thought were my world were destroyed me and i am Kinda in a way grateful that this happened. The strength i found within myself while i lost my only hope, has turned me into what i am today.
Question for the people who have been ghosted: How many of you are blaming yourself for being ghosted and because you don't know why you've been ghosted develop a fear of having some big social flaw you don't notice? Because that's certainly some shit I've been through :/
My girlfriend ghosted me for almost 2 years now. We've been friends for about 5 years before we got together, so I pretty much knew who she was already. She had tendencies to disconnect entirely for days, sometimes weeks online, but I always got to see her in school, but at the time I thought this was just making time for herself. When we got together I really though we'd be together for a very long time, I thought we both really loved each other, I've never had someone else you cared about me aside from friends and family. But she just started not talking for days, sometimes weeks. Until I never talked nor saw her again. Her friends still see her sometimes and I was left alone
I can't help but completely blame myself even though I have never ever said a single word to hurt another person. But I still feel like it's my fault. I can't bring myself to think badly about someone else.
I'm in a long distance relationship. I've been ghosted 4 or more times, maybe more but all of that was several months ago. Every single time, it was typically something university related or self-care related. Honestly if you're in a LDR like me and you're busy, tell 👏 your 👏 partner 👏! Do not leave them hanging. Make the small effort to send ONE text at least saying "I wont be able to talk this week, but I'll see if i have time on the weekend" or something. Good god, a text as simple as that does wonders for us sensitive people. Thankfully he does not leave me hanging like that anymore. Actually thanks to quarantine our relationship has finally gotten smoother. Also don't forget to call 👏 your 👏 partner 👏 Edit: it's now 2023 and I just saw a notification for this comment after all this time lol. I wrote this comment shortly before I broke up with him. You guys.. always have a plan in mind to meet up with the person and make sure your needs are being met and that you both see eye to eye. If you both are too different/have different needs and wants, it will not work out.
My girlfriend ghosted me on christmas 2021, never talked to me again. Managed to see glimpses of her from her friends reels but for the most part, she's barely seen by them. Now i just feel...Empty
I respect this comment cuz it's the bare minimum sht that i was looking for at least. To know someone won't be available ahead of time and simply not be comfortable leaving me for days without a word.
“Don't judge someone's choices without first knowing their reason.” ― Robert Tew And this is the most important thing to remember if you wanna maintain good relationships.
We should normalize ghosting as emotional abuse. Because that’s exactly what it is. Unless you have to do that due to a dangerous or toxic relationship or person, it’s straight up selfish, cowardice and abusive.
I "Ghost" When someone has taken advantage of me one two many times or till I don't know where They End and I Begin. Learning to have boundries in a healthy relationship isn't easy!
It's a shitty thing to do to people. You should NEVER play psychological games. If you cannot use your words in dealing with friendships and bonds with ppl then stay the hell away from everyone until you get the tools in your toolbox to properly handle situations as they come up. GHOSTING is abusive behavior. Similar to gaslighting. It is not right or OK to EVER do that to ANYONE. EVER. PERIOD.
I think if people have tried talking it though and if the other person is still manipulative and toxic, you can tell them "I can't be friends with you, you need to get help." Then they know that they will be ghosted and maybe (hopefully) will work towards being a more understanding person.
🙄 Reasons? More like excuses. If you can't count on your friends, then they're not friends. In life, you'll always have more acquaintances than friends. This is one of the Litmus tests, that help you differentiate between the two. 😏😉
Actually, the simplest (and likely most-common) reason for "ghosting" is probably when one person suddenly realizes that there's nothing really to talk about with the other person anymore; that conversations no longer go anywhere, they consist either of long silences or disagreements, and that after a certain point, attempts at conversation end up being more trouble than they're worth, are more stressful than rewarding, and a person finally realizes they have other, more satisfying & rewarding ways to spend their time & energy. In which case, it's probably less of a conscious decision on their part as it's simply a matter of...just not bothering anymore.
Yes this is exactly what I realized! I feel so guilty and bad about ghosting my so called “best friend” (before), but I only did that because I realized 1) we had nothing in common anymore. 2) she pressured me into doing things that I don’t want, like trying to be extroverted and go to stupid parties with weird people “for her sake”, when that makes me feel very uncomfortable. 3) she was very toxic and didn’t support me in my own life decisions, and she didn’t understand my problems, and only talked about hers. 4) i never felt like I could be myself around her. I always felt like i had to impress her or be funny all the time or else she would think I’m boring to hang around. She made me feel even more insecure about myself and I felt drained out after hanging out with her. 5) she did bad things that go against my personal views for what I stand up for. 6) and also the only reason I was hanging out with her was because I didn’t have any real friends, and I didn’t really understand the importance of good relationships. I thought all friends where good friends. I feel shit for ghosting her but I’m doing much better off without her.
@@elsie4802 wow I’m going through a similar situation. I’m glad to know that there are others who feel guilty even though we know that we weren’t treated right in the relationship. It’s just that sometimes in order to maintain your own sense of peace, some people need to be cut off, especially if they continuously end up hurting you.
@@elsie4802 oh man gosh, I'm facing a similar situation too! I can't hang out without feeling the need to please her and make her laugh. And it always feels like I cannot be myself most of the time, its always about her music tastes, what she wants to do and what she thinks. Our relationship at this point is so meaningless and I hate how repetitive it is. I searched this up feeling gulity and afraid that I'm being toxic but I think she might be the toxic one...
exactly what happened to me, our conversations would always end up in some kind of disagreement, sometimes extremely stupid ones, like one time i told him i have a home server that i can host a minecraft server on for us and for a ~week he would be cold with me and occasionally tell me how much i flex my wealth, i literally just wanted to host a game server, and the server is literally like ~12 year old hardware, after that whole ordeal our talks never went anywhere and most times lead to disagreements again, then i, without even knowing ghosted him but would go back each ~2 weeks because i felt bad which would occasionally end up in fights, less than when i actively talked to him but happened nonetheless, after a few months of that happening i just didnt go back anymore without even realizing, before writing this and thinking about it i still felt bad, so much so that i distanced myself from discord, twitter, and most other social media except youtube because i upload my 3d animations here, my twitter handle is dormant and i havent been on discord for a ~year, now i only participate in niche matrix groups as the only form of group chat, after writing all this out i feel like it wasnt my fault and want to log in to discord, get out of invisible mode and hopefully never use it again
After almost a year later my take on ghosting has changed so much. Now, I intentionally ghost people who ALWAYS treat me like an option and come to me when they have to brag something about their lives or rant about a college friend or a coworker. Whenever I need them, they are nowhere to be found. This year I Choose me and my sanity and ghosting these people so that I can focus on myself and my life.
@@koifishflavor oh yes they do that eaten up with envy and jelousy but try to hide it by been 2 faced i find a lot of it cos i work hard and look after wot i got .
Was ghosted a couple years ago by someone I loved very much, after going through a painful divorce, the onset of severe mental illness and her pushing me to come clean about my feelings for her when I was terrified to do so. Fast forward to the end of 2019 and I came to the conclusion that after being hurt that badly, the only same thing I felt comfortable doing was ghosting the world back. So I did. I shut down all my social media and proceeded to fall as far under the radar as I could. I regret nothing.
@@Psych2go Honestly...? That people aren't worth the pain they put you through, no matter how much you love them, care about them, want them to be happy or want to be in your life. People don't want to know what your pain is. They don't want to know what you're feeling or thinking if it runs contrary to their own sense of entitlement, privilege or expectations of who they want you to be. If you're honest and realize you made a mistake in doing so, no amount of personal responsibility, accountability or atonement will lead to what you want. In short, people are terrible creatures, especially if you want them to love you, so it's better to let your feelings die on the vine rather than let yourself be vulnerable long enough for someone you think the world of to utterly destroy yours.
@Decent Fellow And you need to get off your sanctimonious and condescending high horse if you think you can dictate to other people how they should think or feel. The question was posed to me on what advice would I give. I answered it. Don't like the answer...? That's your problem.
@@DevinJHiggins That's exactly how I felt two years ago! I pushed almost every one away cause I thought that was the only way to survie. In my solitude I was able to heal, I wanted to heal. Now I know better how to protect myself while not hating everybodey, the world used to look gray, not anymore! and my glass that was empty is now half full :) I'm not gonna tell you to stop hating all the people and losing hope in them because that's how you feel right now- and you have reasons to fell that way, but you deserve to live lighter without the burden of these negative feelings. So instead of focusing on how terrible people are just focus on healing your pain and at least these negative feeling will be gone automatically (who knows maybe they even get replaced by more positive feelings). After all, it is a fact that not all people are that bad!
Ghosting is a coward and childish attitude. Have the courage to tell why you want to end the relationship, because sometimes it can help the other person to grow and to apologize if he/she made a wrong move.
@@everythingroxy3582 Tell that person "Hey I don't think we should be friends anymore, we've grown apart in my opinion." Unsure for any real life scenarios, as ghosting someone is way harder in person, but it's just best to let your friends know what's happening before you just leave them. If you dont hold any hatred for them, be kind on the way out.
Sometimes you do tell them you are dissatisfied with the relationship and they act like you never told them and at some point rather then get really specific to the point that would be cruel, you ghost.
As a person with abandonment issue, being ghosted was the worst way to be abandoned and imagine how much pain you have to endure especially if you are also an HSP. Back then I didn't know about any of these terms, I was experiencing a pain without knowing what it was or even why, and I was too ashamed of myself to talk to anyone about it because I felt I had no right to feel upset! "I don't know what this is but YOU WILL SURVIVE" I kept telling myself :)))))) and I did! It took me two years of therapy just to finally know what and why that feeling was, and then I gradually started to heal- still in the process. But healing won't take the scar away, there will always be a scar as long as you remember the experience.
from your personal experience, whats the best activity that you did that is the most significant in your healing process? currently going thru this. really needs some advice😭
ex-boyfriend: *ghosts me for a month* me: *breaks up with him* psych2go: *uploads this* me: 👁👄👁 jokes aside, it left me extremely miserable & I did it for my mental health, since this channel taught me to take care of my mentality first. I feel at peace with myself now & moving on :)
Yep. This happened to me three times this year. Third time just last week. What's weird is all three times were just out of nowhere. No arguments or anything of the sort. I thought we were okay or good and they just left. Blocked me too. Seems kind of cruel to do that with someone who genuinely cared about them. But whatever. You cant make anyone stay in your life if they dont want to...but it does make you wonder what you did or what prompted this. People just dont realise how their actions or inaction affects others. Anyway, I'm truly sorry to everyone this has happened to. It really sucks.
@@steamedbuns6197 Not sure if you are trying to be a jerk or not but trust me, I examine myself and my behavior every single day. And when it came to those situations, There's nothing I did to merit that kind of response. And I would like to ask what I did (If I in fact did anything), but how can you understand and learn if the other person runs without any explanation? If I'm mature enough to accept responsibility, they should have enough courage to be honest about what happened. Again, if something actually did happen. Sometimes, people are just cruel.
@@thechanges2327 Well as someone who has ghosted a few people I can share why I did so. It may or may not aply to you, I don't know you personally. The first reason would be feeling unsafe or uncomfortable. I had some guys who've wanted to meet up or ask mildly inappropriate questions way to soon. They were respectful for the most part but something about them made me feel uncomfortable with them. The way your social media is set up can reflect to way people view you. (I've never really dated and I still dont understand intimacy so this might just be a problem of mine) Second reason would be an agressive personality. Theres one thing in being confident and another in being self centered or a narcissist. This applies to female friends as well. The last person I ghosted was follower on my art account I'd become friends with. The last conversation we had was me complementing her and refering to her looking similar to musician I like. She told me not to say such things and when I asked why she told me the musician I named was unattractive. That added with her constant intellectual bragging and her admitting to hating "stupid people" made her an unpleasant person to be around. These are just my two reasons for ghosting, I've had both of these happen with both men and women or in a combination.
I think it's better if you don't take it personally. First, if someone does something mean to you, it says more of themselves than it says about you. Also, ghosting is a form of objectification, it's discarding someone as if it was a mere object. I think it's easier to bear with it if you realize that they most probably didn't see you as a real person, but rather an entertainment, therefore nothing personal. The last thing you can do is ask yourself questions: what is it of me that I don't like about myself that I can improve? and try to work on that. That's the only thing you can control about rejection, trying to use it as a motivation to become a better version of yourself.
@@astrius4125 I think you're missing the point. Some people may ghost for no reason but most do it out of fear and uncomfortibility (if thats even a word). People aren't going to waste their time on people who make them feel inadequate and unsafe.
I was hard ghosted by my ex girlfriend, her entire friend group, and my peers. If there was a bigger reason, no one ever told me. I deserve to know the reason so I don't have to feel anymore heart pains. Instead of telling me the true reason for ghosting, I was slowly isolated. I try to become more selfish each day so that I can finally turn the pain into greatness. It is a real shame that people can stoop so low for their own benefit.
Yeah. I think I finally understand now how it is when someone you always loved and cared for suddenly decided to ghosted on you instead of moving forward with you. No matters what good things they did for you back in the past: It's their decision now that they won't even let you know about their issues or struggles because you don't matter nor worth it for them to resolve with. They can throw in as many valid excuses as much as they wanted. They still ghosted on you because they are selfish, afraid and coward. And one day they'll just use your anxiety from being ghosted agaisnt you. At worst case blaming you for it. If they won't confront with you and keep running away. They ain't worth it. Not with your future.
seriously, ghosting isn't a good form of like staying away or just dealing with personal issue, i mean the one you are talking to assuming its a friend who cares, might get worried... it can also damage one's emotional state and mental well-being. Specially if the one being ghosted is sensitive person. There is nothing wrong if one doesn't want to talk, or just wanna deal with your personal problems. .but atleast give them a hint like whether you don't want to talk for the time being, don't leave them hanging like that, cause there is a chance that they may think that you just used them for fun and benefit, and once that is gone you just left them.
Damn I was talking to this guy but talking to him made me really nervous like I felt like I would puke so I told him (kind of but nicer) and then just stopped talking to him is that ghosting?👻
I ghosted someone for a week actually uninstalled insta I didn't left him at SEEN when I came back I replied his msg.. he didn't even ask hey what happened.. .
@@harveydentcanwetrusthim8103 Thats pretty normal tho... Someone just not being online for a week happens. If you got sth. to talk about with someone else just bring it up. Ghosting is literally impossible to really understand as such unless its a really long time and its obvious the other person is active, just not involved with you. A week where you are just completely inactive... I mean I do that when I just need some me-time
Yet nobody is talking about the pain from the person ghosting. I ghosted some girl once since she guilt tripped me by threatening to commit suicide over discord dms back when i was 11. Are we only gonna talk about how it felt for her to lose me?
Met this girl a few years back, i was so in love with her (so was she by her saying), she had everything id ever seek in a person, she was ill at the time and her uncle died a few weeks before we were gonna meet irl, then she ghosted me for an unknown reason... It took me 6months to stop thinking about her for every single second of a day, but even now, a few years later, i still think of her, and wish things were different... The moments i had with her were the best i ever felt, and also the worst..
Trust me she will be back and at a time when you least expect and when she does don’t make the mistake of thinking that everything will go back to the way it was when you used to hang out together, you can still be civil towards her but don’t get your hopes up too much about pursuing anything romantic with her because chances are she could be a cold calculated covert narcissist and believe me you don’t want someone like that in your life.
It's sad that even with some reasons like this when you are ghosted by someone you can never know the aswer, since theres no more confrontation, and even if it was your fault, you can't remedy whatever error you did.
@@LadyLavenderx This can mean we don't value relationships like we used to. I think it all stems from a lack of empathy. Why am I starting to think that "ghosting" may be a sign of anti-social behavior, when I also think it couldn't be? Can somebody explain to me?
Yes, but sometimes these people were given a chance. Often even more than one. They were given the opportunity to correct their errors but actively chose not to or simply pretended they were never told. What are you supposed to do in that situation? Continue to allow them to emotional burn you out? Keep allowing them to try and gaslight you? Just let them keep emotionally abusing you?
I feel so bad...I haven’t been responding to people a LOT lately, and it’s not because I don’t want to talk to them, I’m just really overwhelmed with life right now. I sleep all day and stay up all night and isolate myself and avoid my problems nonstop instead of just addressing them and moving on with life. And I hate being the one to ghost people because the last thing I want to do is hurt them🙁 But it’s hard to respond and be myself when I have no energy left🤦♀️ idk if I’m the only one
@Ellie M you're not alone. I know it feels like it alot. I don't know your specifics, but I do know that if you can identify both the problem and understand why you respond to it the way you do, you have the potential to make small changes. Keyword is small. Don't try to make any big changes. I know where you are now, because I have been there. I still have work to do, but I had to start with baby steps. No shame in that. I'll tell you now, you matter. Give yourself a chance, little by little. I am also overwhelmed by alot of things, so I have to be careful how I react. Not trying to make it about me though. You're worth the time, don't forget that.
I understand where you're coming from. Sometimes it's easier to ghost someone instead of opening yourself up to someone who could possibly judge you. Sometimes though, you need at least 1 person that you can open up to. I hope things get better for you.
I've ghosted on people aswell because I was hurt alot in past not mention I had ex from 4 years ago was seeing someone else especially after breakup and whenever Im on group chats people even my friends tend to ignore me. So yeah I feel like cutting people in my life is part of my healing. Im sorry if its sounds selfish to you all but I wanna take care myself especially when I went through depression.
Having been ghosted recently by someone because of their mental health , I advice you to atleast tell them what’s going on. You need not go into much detail but just give them a heads up that you’re not feeling so good and want to stop contacts until you feel better. Because trust me , being ghosted has also damaged my mental health as well. I know people tend to only see their perspective but try to see other people’s perspective as well.
Same but I had many conversations with them about my mental health before deciding to. Friends who are like that are sometimes manipulative and get you to feel like you've done something wrong so you deserve the abuse and bull crap. Till today she does everything to torture me. From sending people after me to kicking me out of our big friend group. I've filed a police report on this person now. I don't regret though. For once in my I'm caring about me.
Ghosting is so horrible. I was ghosted recently. They've pretend to be interested. But when it comes to finally going out on a date, they completely vanish. I honestly have no idea why they did it. We were getting on great until the day arrived and then nothing. If you're not interested at least say to them no biggie. Rather tell than completely cut off the whole conversation without a trace. Don't lead somebody on thinking they would be hope and just do that.
I agree with all of the points mentioned in this video. However, I have been treated bad by many people. I use to accept every form of behaviour. I never really stood up for myself, always gave more than I could take and always tried my hardest to please others. I myself struggle with depression, stress and anxiety. But one of the main things for me to learn how to cope and deal with my mental health is to let go of the people that don't value me and my efforts. It's way better to heal when you let go of toxic people.
I'm not proud of it, but I ghosted friends. I felt that they were better off without me and they didn't actually care about me. I still have that problem where I will constantly withdraw from people because I feel they'll be happier without me. It's why I don't have friends and I don't have a relationship with anyone in my family... I guess it's abandonment and trust issues coupled with lack of self-worth and severe depression.
You'll get through this I promise 💜 however, and I know it's difficult, but please don't ghost your friends, they are the ones who'll be able to help you the most, you can stick to one person. One good friend is enough 💜
I lost all confidence in trying to socialize it’s just pointless going through on social media now a days Covid has changed a lot of people through the months... it’s sad to see them become strangers especially when a person or ourselves can struggle through mental health that makes us isolate and withdraw ourselves from others And it’s ok if you have that, you aren’t alone. Just know that there can always be a specific person in your life that cares about you✨
Yeah, that happened to me. My friend who I've known for seven years (!) was ghosting me for 4 months and some days ago she unfriended me on social media. I don't think I said anything wrong, she probably just got bored of me and choose the silent option... It's a pretty cruel way IMO, she knew I have self-doubts, I'm sure she knew leaving me like that will make me think I'm worthless, yet she did that to me instead of, idk, saying she won't have time for me or something? The worst thing about it is that she was my only friend (besides my mother) and I'm too shy to meet new people. Sorry for my (probably) bad English, I'm still learning.
Dont worry once you stop focusing on that friend, new friends will come in ur life that will support u just live in the moment. As much as it was hard for me to let go of my best ex friend that clearly is toxic. I am glad that I was able to remove myself from communicating with that person all together and I'm accepting and content that they ghosted me back because for one they are not mature enough to move on from the past issues neither can they be be honest about how they feel and insted seeking out revenge on me to make things worse. But luckily enough after 3 months of cancelling that person I was able to get new friends to talk to that supported me and accepted me and didn't judge me on my past even if they did or didnt know the ex I was referring to and besides if that person ever wants to come back in your life? They will find a way to if not that's there loss so forget it cuz there are way better ppl out there.
well, dont feel bad. I run from my problems too, but I deal with other problems just like you. at least you acknowledge your weaknesses and think as something you can do something about. I for instance never get too close to people because I know they will never be my true friend (I've been like this for a very long time, lots of years)
Yeah, I've been ghosting everyone since 2 months, I got tiered of being the one that tried to star conversations and laughs and just stopped talking. All my friends have tried contacting me, but it's happened before and I'll just end up trying too hard again. Sucks to do sometimes, but you can't put a price on that type of peace
@@chrisyepez3552 this same thing happened to me when I was 18 and I never really got around it. (I'm 28 by today) I had to deal with the fact that people didn't need me as much as I needed them, I guess the friends I cared about the most stopped talking me mostly because they found people that had more in common with them, they found a job where they got to know new people or started dating someone and had less time to get involved with their friends. Time passed and I got new people in my life (I never considered any of them my friends, I never actually let anyone enter my life) in college, in some job and I also got girlfriends that ended up also being my best friends (mostly because they called every day to know how I was doing when my other friends from the past never did). I don't think I'm the right person to tell you how to make friends because I never got the hang of it but If I was 18 all over again, I would have opened more to people and let them in my life instead of hanging to the past like I did.
I got ghosted by the only person I ever really cared about. One thing I'll say is that you shouldn't ever do this to somebody. I am actually devastated and confused.
When someone “ghosted” you, it just shows the reality that you are dead to them and they are dead to you. In other words, that person has already crossed off to the other side where you’re no longer apart of. It’s hurtful and disrespectful, but that how others act in life; because they’re cowards. If that person cares, he or she will make the time to be in your life no matter how busy the life style is. Ghosting is a cowardly way to move on. But when it does happen, just grab a bottle of Jack, drink those tears away and than laugh and move on.
Right? The truth of this is so disturbing, but the sooner people realize what a ghost is, the sooner they can get on with the road to self-respect and choosing friends/dates who have communication skills rather than obsessing on "why" they were ghosted...thus preventing future ghosts!
Cherry Muse True, if someone is being abusive, it’s best to just cut them out of your life. It’s easy to ghost random trolls on social media who you wouldn’t know personally, so there’s no emotional connection. But if it is personal like a relationship of some kind, than it should be addressed as such that you at least will let them know that you’ve had enough of their B.S, and ready to move on unless they change their ways which most likely those who are abusive won’t bother. If those who are abusive don’t get the picture, than yes; ghost them, block them and than move on.
I didn't know what to do anymore, she cut herself before and now. Why is she cutting herself if she has plenty of friends that love her? Because we don't mean much to her, that's why. I wanted her to be happy, i really did. I feel guilty but i think it was the right choice. But don't do what i did, TALK to them first, tell them why you are ending the relationship, and then leave. Dont fall for anything they say, they don't mean it. They just want someone to be their only for them. She would get angry if i chose homework over talking and said along the lines, "Best friends are supposed to be mean to each other in a teasing way, right?" Depends on who the person is, but she literally used me in the anime amino to make herself look better. She made me tell my past to strangers i DIDN'T want to tell. And she used my real name in front of them, so that was the last straw. She keeps forgetting stuff about me, but expects me to know everything about her. I'm not joking, she expects me to remember tiny details anyone would forget. Im sad right now, because i had no other real friends than her and her friends. But they would easily take her side. So i don't plan on making any more friends. Period.
STORYTIME FOR YOU FRIENDS!! So, I'm entering my junior year of college/university (whatever you want to call it). In September of my freshman year two years ago, I met a guy who lived in the residence hall across from mine. My friends had sent me to that specific residence hall to reserve the TV while they went to go change because we had just come from swimming at the pool. I walked in wearing some sweats and a hoodie, my hair a complete MESS, and I see these two guys blasting music and playing ping pong. One of them was super cute--tall with dark curly hair, just my type hahaha--and he was blasting a song by my favorite band. I went towards them and asked who was blasting the music, and he said he was. Eventually, my friends came but I continued to try and talk to the cute guy and watch him and his roommate play. That happened on a Sunday, and a few days later my friends were hanging out again at his residence hall and I got his number. One night, we were texting and he invited me upstairs to his dorm. He came down and got me, and long story short we watched some movies and kissed. I thought things were gonna go super well between us. I was super happy because this was at a time in my life when I felt super lonely because all of my friends and best friends were getting into relationships or were just currently in happy ones. I thought I was gonna have the same thing with him. Well, on Friday I had gotten dinner with his friends and he acted as if he didn't kiss me the night before. I texted him Sunday morning, wondering if he wanted to get breakfast with me. No reply. I texted him a few days later saying hi, and still no reply. BUT GET THIS!! After I had texted him, I was heading back to my dorm one day when I saw him walking down the street in my direction. He walked by me, staring straight ahead as if we were complete strangers. Thus began him ghosting me. The worst thing about this is I began seeing him EVERYWHERE around campus. First, it was just in the mornings at a dining court while getting breakfast (which was quite scary because, at that time of the day, only a few people were there), and it was like once or twice a week. But soon I started seeing him every single day, everywhere. On the way to class. In the morning. Coming home from marching band rehearsal (I'm in my college's color guard). I saw him around campus practically every day after he ghosted me. I even ran into him on the last day of the first semester right before winter break. I was on my way to get my color guard uniforms because we had a Bowl came coming up, so I was walking through the doors, leaving my residence hall, when he was coming in with his roommate. And we walked through the same doors so I had to walk right past them. By the end of that semester, I was left completely emotionally, psychologically, and mentally scarred. Every time I saw him I would remember that night he kissed me and his behavior before, during, and after that night. I would think, "Did I do something wrong? Is there something wrong with me? Am I not good enough? What the heck happened??" During winter break, I thought that the next semester would be better. New schedule, harder classes. More time to focus on me, less time to think about the guy who got my hopes up and then crushed them. I thought that with everyone taking different classes, then that would shake both of ours enough to where I would never see him again. Nope. I saw him on the first Thursday of the new semester. It pissed me OFF. I even ran into him at least three times last fall, and two of those times we made eye contact. It was kind of annoying, especially because one of those days was a football game day and I was with my color guard in uniform. If you read this entire essay about one small piece of my failed love life, congrats. Give this comment a like and/or reply lol.
Essentially the same thing happened to me except it was a girl. Ghosted next after we kissed. Sometimes people just don’t feel that spark but if they’re willing to do that to you then they’re not the right person for you. Best thing is to forget the encounter and move on. It’s hard I know but everything happens for a reason
I feel like there's 2 possible explanations for this. Either: 1-He realized he did not have feelings for you after he kissed you and wanted to part ways from you before things got too serious but was too cowardly to just tell you he wasn't interested. OR 2-He was genuinely interested in you but was afraid of getting too intimate with you for one reason or another and didn't know how to proceed so he just cowered away. Either way, it's best you move on because it's clear he's not right for you and it's not healthy to dwell on past disappointments like these.
Damn, I'm sorry you had to go through that! I was ghosted as well, by my then-boyfriend. We'd been growing apart by that point, but it still wasn't ok. There was no recent fight, no explanation either. He just...disappeared mid-conversation. I sent him a DM telling him we were done. He still refused to answer. After 6 days, I told him I had no interest in ever contacting him again and blocked him. It hurt, but it was for the best. I think it was for the best in your situation, too. Someone who ghosts for any reason other than the other person being toxic or abusive clearly has their own issues. They're probably weak, just like my ex, and someone like that isn't worth your time.
@Alex Rodriguez nah it happened at least twice before i just decided to block him and i texted him at least 4 times before i blocked him THEN i tossed him
Thank you for showing that there can be multiple reasons for ghosting, since a lot of people tend to assume it's just the ghostee not caring about their friend or a loved one. I'm not ruling out that that can't be the case... There are people out there who just don't care enough to acknowledge your existence, and it hurts. But whenever I see any content about the topic, the comments are flooded with hate towards the people who ghost, people immediately cutting them out, saying how it's toxic and mostly people bitter about their past relationship. I never see the other side being mentioned as anything other than the big bad guy who just doesn't care, simply put, an asshole. And I'm ashamed that sometimes when I read enough of it, it gets to me. Because I'm guilty of this act, I'm guilty of hurting people who I care about immensely because I simply just can't type a word out. I've been working on it and I've gotten better at just calmly trying to solve the conflicts that occur, but there have been times where it just gets too much and I'm back to 0. I know I should be saying how I feel, explaining myself, apologizing and properly making it up to the other person... I want to do all of that so badly, yet my mind and body just feels completely blacked out and frozen in time. I'm flooded by so many things I have to and want to say, but also by so many internal voices telling me it's all worthless and all the words would never portray what I really meant, would never be understood, and would never matter. It has never been that I don't care about them, or their feelings and struggles. I have two people in my life and they're the only ones who really know me and matter to me the most. Yet I've done this to both of them. All I can think about is just that they won't hear my words, that I'm a monster and I'll never really make them feel loved, that if I say how I truly feel they'll prove me wrong and it just feels like a sin in general. Just thinking about the feeling of saying anything overwhelms me and makes me want to shut off from the entire world and forget about it all. It feels so suffocating not being able to show that I'm hurting, defend myself, or even soothe them when I've done wrong, because just saying how much I care about them feels like I'm ripping myself apart. This is my side of the story even though it probably doesn't even matter, because in the end I'm the one who ends up hurting them wether I speak or not. I'm grateful for having friends who are still there even though I'm so difficult to deal with, and I'm glad I had a chance to have people in my life who know how much I care despite me doing all kinds of weird shit and hurting them in the process. I'm glad they didn't just give up on me and cut me off, and I'll keep trying to better myself even though it's tough doing it on my own. I hope I can get help one day and finally free myself of my own mind. That's about all for my buried comment rant, whoever actually read this, take care my friend you have too much time on your hands.
Let's switch roles. Praying you'll start meeting people you can't be without and then they ghost you, while me, it's time for me to ghost people like you. Then only I could understand people like you without judging at all, while you too, could finally understand how people like me would feel.
I am happy that I’m not the only one facing ghosting and other relationship problems, I realised that not everyone can be your friend and not everyone is sincere
I was ghosted by a very important person for me at the end of 2019. This ended up him blocking me on all the messengers. I feel so much pain ever since. I feel I'm not capable of meeting new people and maintaining any relationship anymore. Please, if you're ghosting someone right now, just go ahead and talk to them. It may be very hard, but it will cause much less harm than ghosting. (Sorry for my English)
I was in a exclusive dating relationship with a girl for 5 months. I’ve known her for 6 years but we started to date a couple months ago. Things were really good in the beginning. One thing forsure is that we are very busy in our everyday lives but we would be in contact throughout the day and when we had free time we would hangout and enjoy each other’s company. One day I notice she started to become distant with me through messages. So I brought it up to her to attention on why is she being a lil cold. She told me she was going through something (personal issues), me being genuine with her wanted to know if she was okay and if she needed someone to talk to, that I’m just a phone call away. She told me no that I don’t want to talk about it, usually when I get flustered or stressed I tend to isolate myself from people. I was like okay, i understand it, I’ll give you your space and some time. Hope things are okay with you . And what fucked me up was that I started to overthink and my mind would start to race thinking the worst. At that time I’m recovering from surgery so I was at home in bedrest. I felt like I was in a vulnerable place. Usually to take the stress or anxiety away I would play basketball or go to the gym. I couldn’t do that cause of my surgery from my appendix getting removed. So I let like two days pass before I hit her back up. Texted her hey good morning how’s everything with you. I don’t get a response later that afternoon saying she’s not ready to put herself out there like that and she still needs some space . So I try to be a simp for her and brought her food on her lunch, just to have good intentions, and idk if this was the right thing or a bad thing idk. And I didn’t see her at all. She made up an excuse that she couldn’t see me. So now my mind starts racing again, thinking that did I do something wrong or is she talking to someone else. I had a breaking point the next day during the evening I texted her hey I’m outside I have a present for you (flowers), wasn’t answering my messages or calls, I had a breaking point I reach out to a mutual friend of ours who we are both cool with . I talk to him on the phone in tears just cause I couldn’t take it anymore, knowing if I did something wrong and why she was doing this to me. He tells me aye man she does all the time when she’s feeling stressed. Let her come to you when’s ready don’t force it. He made very good points and his words comfort me and I stopped messaging her . A week later she messages hey I know I’ve been going through some stuff but I wanted to know where your at mentally and I told her I’m okay rn, I just wanted to give you your space and time . I don’t hear from her for another week . And she texts me hey and some small talk here and there and this day was the most we communicated with each other in a while. Last thing I texted her was like heyy whatcha up to rn. Ghosts me and I don’t hear from her ever since. I’m not blocked or deleted. I want to give her space and time to continue this relationship with her but apart of me feels like I’m tired of this, that I need to move on cause I don’t deserve this coming from a good heart 😔. But it’s hard cause I caught feelings and now I don’t know what to do anymore, I stopped texting her and I try to focus on myself more. I’m taking everything day by day and I hope to see the light at the end of tunnel. No one should ever go through this. Here I am TH-cam I hope who ever is going through something like this just know your not the only one I hope your doing okay in life ❤️…
I feel you sm. I'm so genuine and love to go an extra mile for those I truly care about but, sometimes you've just got to take your distance in order to keep yourself from hurting even more! You got this.
I'm getting ghosted by someone I really cared about and I tried to contact them but they didn't respond, and my sibling is getting ghosted by their boyfriend and they are really upset about it, so thank you I needed this
I ghost people when: 1. We are not compatible. 2. When I feel used or taken advantage. 3. When I feel something is not right. 4. When I feel I am wasting my time.
So essentially you use people as objects that may lead to your own personal success and ghost them when they're no longer useful? Kinda bold to admit it but okay.
@@atlas909-n4r I don't use them as objects. I learned the HARD WAY if you give too much, you ended up being the one asking for help and no one will help since everyone has an impression of you being a "bank". Therefore, I learn not to waste my resources. If people want to spend some time with me, I will make sure it is quality time, where everyone is treated as equal and not me paying for everything.
@@atlas909-n4r I ghost when I realize I am not going to be useful to them. I want friends, not caseloads and I don't hang around for narcissistic abuse or guilt trips.
the SUMMARY you're looking for: 1. They don’t feel safe 0:44 2. They want revenge 1:08 3. Fear of intimacy 1:33 4. It’s the easiest course of action 2:02 5. They’re going through something in their personal life 2:27 6. They’re afraid of confrontation 3:04
Add #7. When you finally realize someone is a total narcissist... aka, "It's always all about ME!" And lotsa luck trying to 'discuss' it, 'cuz there's never any other POV but theirs, which is usually why you're ditching 'em in the first place!
I'm so tired of putting myself out there socially and getting rejected or worse, just straight up blocked. I've pretty much given up on meeting new people entirely because it's always only a matter of time before they're sick of me
I only ghost when it's obvious they're a threat... But most of the time it's not the best decision to do. it can break someone's heart if they truly cared about you.
She didnt care about me. All she wanted was someone to vent to when it was convenient, and guilt tripped me into staying by threatening suicide. It was over a year ago, and i've made several comments like this on similar videos already, and even if im over it its really fucked up that i go through the trauma but become the bad guy because i ghosted for the sake of helping myself
@@joeyjointjebaiter1275 Threatening with suicide or severe self-harm, this reminds me of my ex. I wanted to leave him months before I actually did but he didn't let me leave. Now I know I should have left when self-harming behavior started. On a more positive note, our semi-friendship now is better than our relationship ever was, we talked it through and he is happy with what I assume is his new girlfriend so I believe the behavior has stopped now.
@@Yun-Jin432 i think she was actually. She told me about a toxic relationship she had with some guy from sweden, and i guess she wanted to take it out on me because im also swedish? I dont really know, but it was pretty fucked up anyway
People ghost me because I probably said something weird and didn't know it, and because I didn't magically know what it was and fixed it without them saying something, they completely abandon me.
This video is just what I needed. During the last three years, I have been losing contact and closeness with my friends due to personal situations, but in these last days I have felt especially lonely, forgotten and sad. However, you always lift my spirits and make me feel truly understood. Thank you very much and please continue with your excellent work! ♥️🎉
@@darthvader1793 Um, my heart feels like a billion pound boulder fell on my heart. I honestly feel betrayed, he just stopped talking to me, he's avoiding me, he doesn't care about me anymore and some more stuff. It just hurts, I don't even know what I did wrong, I'm always by his side but it feels like he's no longer on mine. You know?
It may not have anything to do with you Allie Ann. If your friend is going through something painful or difficult or very private he/she may not want to talk about it. Some people like to be left alone when they are not feeling good.
@@darthvader1793 I can understand her somehow. It is not nice, but for me, it happened often, that someone fell in love with me, but I didn't, I always thought, it was just a good friendship and then they came to say they love me all of a sudden. I never flirtet with them, I was just friendly like a good friend is friendly to someone. How would you feel? It was always a bad situation for me. I didn't ghost them, but I reduced the contact to get more space and I told them, that I didn't want the contact anymore, because I never loved them. Everytime after friendzoning them, they made me felt guilty why I don't have feelings for them and stuff. Next time I just ghost them... at least I have a boyfriend now, so I definetely ghost. This should be a reason enough.
i hope so too. i hope it wasnt me. i just wish my friend would give me an explanation. he doesnt have to be my friend but just a simple explanation is all i ask
After having someone ghost me recently, I was literally JUST reading an article about what to do when someone ghosts you and I get this notification?? I was shocked, lol, coincidence??
Are you left with unanswered questions, and wondering why they 'ghosted' you? Or why you ghosted someone? Comment below.
HOLA
Cool
Psych2Go hai
Idk
@@catlovercats7859 r u indonesia
Ghosting is so selfish. You should just let the other person know why you’re not interested, instead of making them wonder what’s happened or if you will communicate back. Rejecting hurts but at least there is clarity.
Yeah! True! Still I do believe in karma. Truth will prevails!
Ghosting is not only selfish, it is just plain despicable. There is no excuse for it EVER.😡
I gave clarity. They chose not to listen. I carried through with what I told them would happen. They cried saying that they didn't understand and just wanted a reason which I had already given in the first place. I didn't respond. Why should I have?
It's extremely situation based - if you ask me.
@@redmage8719 Sometimes you have to be 'selfish' to survive.
@@-ix-3152 u remind me of someone and uk it hurts when i have to digest the fact tht i have to hate her to forget her otherwise i just can never get over her which seems like the final answer sometimes
And yeah it is situation based and i am still fuckin hurt and atp i cant even talk to anyone bout it cuz my friends dont like talkin bout her cuz of all the hurt and well idrk why i am so weak and sorry for dumping all of this on u too and i still cant hate her cuz i just ugh i cant
I srsly feel like idew make new relationships cuz they r all gonna end like this bcuz i am very bad person despite all my efforts and i am even doubting my several years old friendships now and what hurts even more is the thought how she is always on my mind and she doesnt even care if i am alive or not and all her influence which is permanent on me and how she has rubbed off on me and she will forget me like a used tissue
I basically pity my ownself now cuz i was thinking whether she is gonna care if her ex bff would be dyin or not
I need help i think anyways again sorry for dumping all of this to whoever gets unlucky enough to read this
I'm getting ghosted rn with someone I had a deep connection with. They just stopped responding
me too bro same situation
I feel your pain. :'(
Spectre.Same. It really hurts, my boyfriend ghosted me for months then recently came back asking for another chance and now he's ghosting me again.
Same tho my best friend for like 2 years who I rlly trusted and just straight up ghosted me
Same
being ghosted hurts a lot and especially when they reassured they wouldn’t leave or made you believe how happy they were with you
Really does. My friend or “friend” has even blocked me before ever since they moved to a new country. They ghosted me for a week, after something I did was exaggerated to such an extreme point that 95% of it just wasn’t true I’d say. I was always there for the person, never did anything wrong. I was always the one to apologize even if it was for something they did. This was a friendship for 4 years. This past weekend, they reassured me they would not leave me and even said they were gonna continue talking to me. Then Sunday came and now they’ve been ghosting me again. I’ve now given them a choice and if they don’t respond in 3-4 days, I’m just not going to be friends with them. We used to talk every day too. It wouldn’t bother me if their response was just clear to me. I dont like to end things on bad terms but this has gotten very much out of hand.
I had to become stoic against it happening to me. And now my skin has become a lot more thick. Everyone is a ghoster to me until proven innocent
@@Trisof88 That's the approach to have.
❤ that part
1. They don't feel safe
2. They want revenge
3. Fear of intimacy
4. It's the easiest course of action
5. They're going through something in their personal life
6. They're afraid of confrontation
I once ghosted a person, but i dont think im the guilty one. She pretended she was commiting suicide on discord dms to guilt trip me into talking with her. To top it all of, i was 11, and i didnt know what to do other than just stay away from her
Pfft #5 is not an excuse.
@@BlueEyedAuthor what if they went to prison
BlueEyedAuthor i personally find that sometimes i need to for my own personal wellbeing and i need to take a day or two in my own thoughts. sometimes talking to other people and putting on a fake smile seems exhausting and i just need to be alone for a couple days.
@@bronislawamaciejewski9884 Maybe telling the person you're not in a good mood to talk or you are going through some problems is better, you don't need to say exactly what is the problem. I've been ghosted before, and I believe, if the person who ghosted me told he was going through problems, he wanna stay away for some time and didn't want to specify in details, I would be much better, i would not have blamed myself for his choices, and be overthinking every thing that I did. Taking a time to yourself is great, but is not an excuse to ghost someone, it hurts, a lot in fact. It's hard to say we are going trough shit, but is better for both, and if the person doesn't understand you need a time, you really should reconsider continue with this relationship or not.
The painful realization that you're the one initiating most of the interactions and when you stop they don't notice
Then they start to looking for u and once they have your attention they move back to ghost you.
I’m sorry to hear. How are you coping with this pain right now?
Psych2Go I think that most people ghost you because they are in the wrong themselves in how they’ve treated you , and they don’t have time for you and don’t want to resolve things. Let’s face it You are just not valuable enough to them as a friend! 😞
@@Psych2go I keep it to myself, I feel it from time to time and am not sure how to approach this situation in the correct manner. My friend really likes their personal space (often spending time alone) so I wish to respect that personal boundary. Currently, I am experimenting how long it will take my friend to notice I stopped initiating interactions. I want to talk to them but don't know what to do. I want to fix this friendship but can't
Sal it could be, for me I think she was trying to figure out what she wanted out of the relationship and me... sometimes there are clear messages we ignore
Being ghosted has pretty much destroyed any shred of self confidence I had, has given me trust issues with people in general. Already had worsening depression and anxiety over the past few months, being ghosted just amplified it and pushed me further down since she was the one and only person I ever trusted enough to talk about these things with.
So yeah, don't ghost someone you claimed to love.
Sorry that it happened to you bro. It just recently happened to me too. Also sorry this reply section is filled with comments by that stupid bot.
I went out on a date with a girl and she acted like she really liked the date and I was just being very friendly. She even told me she wanted to see me again. But then she straight up ghosted me for no reason. Really increased my anxiety 😥
yeah, i’m honestly in the same boat. i genuinely liked him and thought he felt the same i mean he said he did idk. we didn’t even get the chance to go on our date. my confidence is so low and i wish i could just know what happened. it hurts that he still follows me on socials, even is still in our Spotify blend.
💯💯💯💯 Bro u preaching. I definitely know the feeling.
It just happened to me, too. I was with a girl for 2 months and she broke it off with me about a month ago. She reached back out claiming she needs me in her life and she loves me. I plan to go over there on Halloween, but she cancels last minute like usual and says we can do something the following day. That was on 10/31/22. It's been over 2 weeks now and she has not reached back out. I reached out 4 days after just to check to see if she was alive. Zero response! I'm over the bullshit.
@@icecsm16 that's fucked bro. So sorry you had to go through that. I went on a date with this girl who liked me and then for no good reason at all she ghosted me and completely cut me off. I tried reaching out to her multiple times but she just didn't respond so I gave up. Was so stressful though because I was trying the whole time to figure out what I'd done to make her do that to me.
Because it's never been easier to connect with people, but it's also never been easier to discard them. People are now treated as highly disposable.
Do you feel that has much to do with social media?
@@Psych2go social media and the Internet, yes.
I have a feeling (and that's my personal feeling) that if people ghost you and you change your number meanwhile or whatever, they think they can just find you on social media if they will ever want to talk again. (I DID actually find my friend from a few years on Linkedin and because I don't have it made that he doesn't see who looked at his profile, he knows it was me-he did the ghosting though so I doubt he cares)
@@Psych2go Absolutely social media makes it real easy to ghost people.Totally agree with the post by KoKane the internet is a double edge sword it can be great for making new friends but than it's also just as easy to ghost them if you decide upon talking to them there is just something about them you don't like or they say something stupid that pisses you off and it's just that easy to ghost them. The internet makes it super easy for anyone to be a bully or ghost you. You forgot to mention in this video the two other reasons why people ghost you, reason 7 they decided they don't like you, maybe they never did like you in the first place. Reason number 8 they are cat fishing
Yup
I can’t stand people that bring up wanting to see you again but when you reach out to them - those liars end up ghosting you 😤
I can kinda relate to that, but it's with one of my friends, they say they will always be there but when I cry for help they just bypass it, it really hurts
Yes, have you asked them for a time/when? Sometimes, people also forget or get busy.
@@Psych2go It seemed intentional because I was reaching out to them during a weekend and when I made a rant about ghosting on social media (I wasn't even specifying it towards anyone specifically), that person ended up blocking me. If they didn't mean to ghost me, they wouldn't of felt attacked.
@@TributesAndUnique OR your hostility passed through and they decided they don't want toxic in their life. That's a possibility too : ) Manipulation is a no no, no matter what you suspect, if a person assumes the worst about me, I'd rather they'd be out of my life... that's where the cycle of trust issues begin, I don't mess with people who has a complete inability to trust, even without solid proof - I've been there, done that, it's just a big tiring drama show that can never end, you can't fix someone else's insecurities... I had to learn it the hard way.
I kinda went through the same thing where one of my friends completely disappeared for half an year saying that he'll be back. We were good friends so we thought there were some kind of circumstances which were overwhelming him and we didn't complain. Once he was back, we talked for a few days and he was all like "I miss you guys so muchh" and then he started ghosting us. He would come online, but never respond even if we tagged/dm'd him. This time, I was sure he was just ghosting us. Maybe he found better friends. Anywayz I'm still hoping for the best for him. I've come to terms with the fact that friendships are temporary and we'll all drift away someday. It was good while it lasted.
I have literally zero friends right now because I had to cut all of them off. All of my "friends" would constantly ghost or flake on me or were super unreliable; but then I would be the one to always come through for them. I only kept them around because I didn't want to be alone and the small times that they did come through, it felt good.
One day I woke up and realized enough is enough. I blocked them all on social media and deleted their numbers, I'd rather be alone than feel like a doormat for another second.
It's the saying, "I'd rather be alone, than be with people who make me feel alone". I have been there as well. I'm better off.
people equal shit. ive been their all selfish and couldnt care less
I cut off all social media and contact with people for 10 months & only a few good friends hung in there for me. You’re best getting rid of toxic ppl. Good luck 😊
You should have gave them at least some closure.
@@elenamaldonado7304 ditto!
This channel is really good at bringing up uncomfortable memories.
Sorry to know that! How are you feeling now? Any advice for your old self?
@@Psych2go yes, *run.* Thats the advice i would've given to my younger self, i should've ran from toxic people while i had the chance
🤣🤣
😭
😂😂
Time to show this video to all the people that haven't talked to me since Corona started.
Yes, we forgot to add Covid to the list of reasons. Thanks for mentioning. ;)
Yes me too...
Well it really sucks to be in this situation, but thank you for pointing it out, at least we can relate
How's it feel being a loser
@@zxp3ct3r41 We should be asking you that question
My back literally hurts from carrying the whole friendship.
Awsome comment. Deff been there.
Mood*
I feel you!!! Although I cared about her, I finally got rid of a long-term friendship for 20 years because she was a burden emotionally and financially😞
No ong tho lmao
Agreed, I shouldn't have to force a friendship or be the only one reaching out first. People just don't care about me anymore unless they want something out of me. I have no real life friends anymore. 💯😢
Mature, healthy people don't ghost unless their safety is a concern. No other reason justifies the lack of closure.
There's much truth to that. What advice would you give to someone who has a tendency to ghost? How would you guide them?
Depends on what you mean by safety and healthy. For instance, those on the autistic spectrum, who already have a great deal of trouble with socialising and communicating with people generally, "ghosting" may be a way of dealing with someone you know that exerts a lot of energy & drama.
@@rhysellis928 I dated one and I gotta say, we ended things after amicably having a (long) chat about how were weren't applicable to each other so no one ghosted anyone. And I could be named as someone with a lot of energy. So speaking from personal experiences, I can't really say if that is true. (But obviously everyone is different)
Psych2Go Not sure how you teach empathy, or if it’s even possible. You can try to paint a picture of the other person being devastated, not having a chance to learn why, and the long term psychological effects of not getting closure so as to move on In life. But if you have to explain that to someone, chances are they’re disordered and could care less.
Lights In The Dark Thank you. I just think if someone is capable of ghosting you, they never cared about you to begin with. It’s cruel and it’s impact is lasting.
I've had so many people ghost me, I might sign up for the Ghostbusters.
I've just reached my personal record of being ghosted, 6 times this year so far.
Thank u for understanding wat i also went trough and laugh it off wit ur good humor
@@jessepinto5043 I’m on my personal record of 5, this year as well
@@platinum6992 Ouch, buddy.
😆😆😆😆
‘Once you feel you are avoided by someone, never disturb them again!’👈❣️🙏💪❤️
Amen to that!
@Solo Odyssey 😂ye... don’t know.. I like it so much- so it’s mine now😜😅😅😂☺️
Yes sis
Just because you don't disturb them, doesn't mean that their silence doesn't disturb you.
They are giving you the hint at the end of the day. I've had it done to me - can take the hint.
summary:
1. They don’t feel safe 0:44
2. They want revenge 1:08
3. Fear of intimacy 1:33
4. It’s the easiest course of action 2:02
5. They’re going through something in their personal life 2:27
6. They’re afraid of confrontation 3:04
Recommend watching to learn more 🖤
♥️
Thxx
Thanks for putting this together. Did we miss anything else?
Psych2Go No, i think you covered most of it. I love your videos sm 💖 thank you
7. they hate themselves and don't want to spread their insecurities.
just me? cool.
If you notice of them ghosting you, just walk away. Let them appreciate your absences and move on with life, I learn that the hard way in my last relationship
That's not how it works, if someone ghosts someone and they get sick of it, that's when they should put their foot down and be assertive by saying stop ghosting me please, this is not normal
Stop ruining your relationship so easily communicate more pls
A person I thought was a "friend" ghosted me, and found out how great I was doing in life and wanted to be friends later. I laughed at them, and I feel so free without that person in my life.
If they're ghosting. Then just let them go and move on. If they act all suprised that you dont respond to them after months or even years afterward. They're the ones who initiated this behavior.
I agree! Have you ever met people who ghost?
@@Psych2go oh yeah, I've been ghosted by friends from grade school up to college. With social media, it unfortunately shows our "friends" true colors when YOU are always the one reaching out to them and yet THEY never do the same.
Exactly! Its their issue.
I’m dealing with a “zombie”. A little different from ghosting. The person I’ll text who I’ve known for years and had cared for years in college with. All of sudden after years of contact and texting she only answers 2/10 she’ll text me months later after disappearing for weeks without explanation. She did mention she has a job now but didn’t make that the reason why she was gone. She’ll text me once in a blue moon of her stuff. I asked her one time if she wanted to talk on the phone and she didn’t answer. Which hurt me so much cause she’ll text me weeks later about other stuff like it didn’t happen. Now I haven’t texted her cause I leave it to her to text me. And this hurts me cause it’s been a month and she hasn’t text me once. The last text I got from her was happy new year 2021. So I’m depressed because she told me she cares about me which hurts me inside
I was ghosted by my boyfriend four years ago. One day he just stopped texting back. It was terrible to worry if something bad happened to him and it was so embarrassing to ask his friends about him. I felt just humiliated.
I'm alright now, finally, but back then it was one of the most painful things I went through. I've never found out what was his reason and I was blaming myself for a long time.
To all ghosting-survivors here - please, take care of yourselves, one day that horrible pain will go away ♥️
It’s so hard not to internalize ghosting. And when it happens in a pattern, it just makes me feel like what am I doing that people feel like they can’t tell me? It’s painful and confusing.
It's not you, it's them
They might see you as too weak to hear anything negative about yourself.
They might see you as too weak to hear anything negative about yourself.
Same here I feel like I’m the problem
#1 Avoidant attachment style
#2 Cold hearted, no empathy
#3 Emotionally immature
#4 Coward
If they don't apologize let the abuser stay gone. 🙌!!
#5 Being brave enough to pull away from an abuser and finally take the steps towards getting the real love and support you deserve.
There are two sides to every coin.
@@-ix-3152 However most of the time they choose the coward way out.
@@oldsport1092 exactly, ive fallen head over heels with a woman that would tell me she ghosted many guys she had met before, she wasnt that well with her head always saying "you dont actually like me you like the idea of me" strange things man. Although i do want to respect her because I don't actuallly know whats going on with her life. So many part of me wants to be like "She a coward" but eh. guess we all gotta go through our lives then
7. They've lost that lovin' feelin'.
I've asked someone why he ghosted his ex gf a long time ago. And that was his reason, along with reason #2. He said that she said something hurtful prior to his ghosting her.
@@kayleighkay7306 i see it really do be that way sometimes
I’ve been ghosted by my first ex gf out of nowhere and I can tell you it’s a PAINFUL trauma. It’s been 8 months and I’m still healing quite slowly and the rumination is awful to the point that I get physically sick.
Please if you are planning to ghost on someone or have a habit of ghosting, especially to your loved ones, consider the ramifications of your actions as it can cause major mental damage to the other person 😊
Yes, so sorry to hear that. Being ghosted by a significant other hurts. This video is made to help raise awareness on this topic. Hopefully, that goal could be accomplished with more views!
They now about mental trauma, and usually that is exactly what they want to achieve, sadly
Last summer it happened to me, it sent me spiraling into depression.
I was ghosted by my first bf, who was also a close childhood friend, so I know the pain. I'll tell you it does get easier once you overcome the first hurdles. Took me a few years, but I was able to open up again and now I'm in a good relationship with someone who makes me much happier than my ex ever did. I wish you the best of luck and hope you're doing okay in these trying times.
My ex ghosted me 4 months after he broke up with me,we were together for 10,5 years. We never talked again, we used to talk to each other every day. It's been 1,5 years now since he vanished from the face of the earth,and I still find it so hard to cope. I feel lonely, I can't imagine ever being with someone else. I isolate myself and I feel depressed. I just work, eat, sleep repeat.
Honestly, I just live by the fact "if they ghost you, your presence never mattered to them outside of a convenience." It's also the same reason I tell people who ghosted me to fuck off if they come back.
That sounds like very good advice. I'm going to have to start taking that to hesrt
But what about if you felt that person is kinda not interested in you and you really wanted to meet up with that person but he always found excuses? So then it's ok to just ghost him? Just asking, cuz I ghosted him cuz I couldn't take it anymore. I was disappointed cuz I really liked him. But what happened was, when he realized I blocked him he wrote me on my cell and asked why I did that and that he found it sad. So I explained him why, but he denied everything and made me look like the bad person. Still no meeting from his side :/ and he was pissed after all (I think for him it was just ego thing; he couldn't take that ghosting and not because he actually really liked me). So after that we both did the silent treatment. And 2 days ago he deleted me...I feel really sad cuz I think I fell in love and he was always the one who told me that he would love to see me but always made excuses. I felt that he was multidating cuz we both met on bumble and he is younger than me...any recommendations about that anyone?
@@HelloHello-xm1ek Depends, how long has this been going on?
@@artistically_pain3876 not too long tbh (we only talked for about 2/3 weeks) and after that it just went toxic with blocking, ignoring watching stories etc. for about 2 months. We met on a dating app (I wrote on my profile that I only look for friendships, he knew my intentions) but somehow he started flirting and complementing me a lot. He was way younger (29 and me 36) that's why I couldn't take it serious. In the end I fall for him, he always initiated a meeting but always found excuses (I knew he was talking to other girls at the same time). In the end I couldn't take it anymore and I blocked him. When he founded it out he text msgs me the other day and was sad and disappointed that I've done it. Well the story goes on, he blocked and unblocked me but when I didn't respond to his last msg he blocked me for good. Now there is nothing anymore for over a month. I found him on that dating app again couple weeks ago, and he found someone just after 1 week, cuz he deleted his account within 1 week. It hurts a lot!
I learned that the hard way
The person who gets ghosted goes through this trauma which can never be healed fully.
Yes, what advice do you have for someone being ghosted?
I was ghosted once and nothing helped no matter what I did making friendships hard, and her reason for ghosting me was “I was annoying”
@@grippers_unmatched I am sorry that Happened to you. But believe me when I say this, The people we love the most the people we think our very own end up hurting us the most. Thats the saddest fact and no one can deny it. That happens because we consciously, unconciously end up giving them the power to do so. We love them so much we start depending on every tiny bit of happiness and light from them. Sometimes they fail to realize what they are to us and do this to us. All what we can do is accept the fact that we may love someone more than anything in this world but they have to realize that if yes thats well and good if not all what you can do is learn from a distance.
@@Psych2go I cant give advice to someone myself being a hypocrite now can I? What I would Like to tell them is You have to accept the fact that everybody, everybody Always, Always Has a choice. No matter how hard and bad or worse the situation is. They had a choice, They did but they Made a choice which ended up hurting you and you cant do anything about what happened but you can make sure that you can make a difference a difference by forgiving them for the pain but that doesnt mean having them back in your life learn to love from a distance.let them be in your prayers and well wishes but not in your lives :') I am the distorted broken mess i am right now only Because of all those people who i thought were my world were destroyed me and i am Kinda in a way grateful that this happened. The strength i found within myself while i lost my only hope, has turned me into what i am today.
jasmine Baar *yes thank you*
Question for the people who have been ghosted: How many of you are blaming yourself for being ghosted and because you don't know why you've been ghosted develop a fear of having some big social flaw you don't notice?
Because that's certainly some shit I've been through :/
These days it happens so often that I don’t even want to bother making friendships with anyone.
My girlfriend ghosted me for almost 2 years now. We've been friends for about 5 years before we got together, so I pretty much knew who she was already. She had tendencies to disconnect entirely for days, sometimes weeks online, but I always got to see her in school, but at the time I thought this was just making time for herself.
When we got together I really though we'd be together for a very long time, I thought we both really loved each other, I've never had someone else you cared about me aside from friends and family. But she just started not talking for days, sometimes weeks. Until I never talked nor saw her again. Her friends still see her sometimes and I was left alone
I can't help but completely blame myself even though I have never ever said a single word to hurt another person. But I still feel like it's my fault. I can't bring myself to think badly about someone else.
got ghost bt my best friend of 2 years and he randomly one day blocked me i asked one of his friends why he blocked me he said he doesnt know :/
@@ChristianF15cher Same it’s draining
I'm in a long distance relationship. I've been ghosted 4 or more times, maybe more but all of that was several months ago. Every single time, it was typically something university related or self-care related. Honestly if you're in a LDR like me and you're busy, tell 👏 your 👏 partner 👏! Do not leave them hanging. Make the small effort to send ONE text at least saying "I wont be able to talk this week, but I'll see if i have time on the weekend" or something. Good god, a text as simple as that does wonders for us sensitive people.
Thankfully he does not leave me hanging like that anymore. Actually thanks to quarantine our relationship has finally gotten smoother.
Also don't forget to call 👏 your 👏 partner 👏
Edit: it's now 2023 and I just saw a notification for this comment after all this time lol. I wrote this comment shortly before I broke up with him. You guys.. always have a plan in mind to meet up with the person and make sure your needs are being met and that you both see eye to eye. If you both are too different/have different needs and wants, it will not work out.
I’ve had exactly the same
My girlfriend ghosted me on christmas 2021, never talked to me again. Managed to see glimpses of her from her friends reels but for the most part, she's barely seen by them. Now i just feel...Empty
I respect this comment cuz it's the bare minimum sht that i was looking for at least. To know someone won't be available ahead of time and simply not be comfortable leaving me for days without a word.
“Don't judge someone's choices without first knowing their reason.”
― Robert Tew
And this is the most important thing to remember if you wanna maintain good relationships.
How would you know, if you are being... GHOSTED?
Idc, honestly. People who ghost because they can't process emotions are cowards.
@Bekah L. Then you just remember that.... my conclusion of the situation is based on incomplete information.... so I might be wrong.
@Bekah L. Just try think of the postive side ^-^
@@aoisora9003 “Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.”
― Maya Angelou
Thus become ghost!
ghosting = selfishness.
just don't bother why, you don't want them in your life.
Stfu
I do it unintentionally since sometimes I feel nervous and start having thoughts like "you dont deserve them"
@@0323jelly same :(
@@0323jelly ghosting them could definitely cause them to feel that same way in any interaction with the opposite sex
Ok, but i really do..
We should normalize ghosting as emotional abuse. Because that’s exactly what it is. Unless you have to do that due to a dangerous or toxic relationship or person, it’s straight up selfish, cowardice and abusive.
I "Ghost" When someone has taken advantage of me one two many times or till I don't know where They End and I Begin. Learning to have boundries in a healthy relationship isn't easy!
Ghosting is a way of setting boundaries. It's good to recognize when you are in an unhealthy dynamic.
@@Psych2go You're relying on the person realising a) what's happened and b) why it's happened.
It's a shitty thing to do to people. You should NEVER play psychological games. If you cannot use your words in dealing with friendships and bonds with ppl then stay the hell away from everyone until you get the tools in your toolbox to properly handle situations as they come up. GHOSTING is abusive behavior. Similar to gaslighting. It is not right or OK to EVER do that to ANYONE. EVER. PERIOD.
@@prairiedust6623 100% agree
I think if people have tried talking it though and if the other person is still manipulative and toxic, you can tell them "I can't be friends with you, you need to get help." Then they know that they will be ghosted and maybe (hopefully) will work towards being a more understanding person.
Psych2go: 6 Reasons why people ghost
Me: 🤔 Trying to figure out which of the 6 reasons is why I've been ghosted
So true hahaha! The problem with me it’s that I started to justify the other person.
Oh lord, I have torn myself to shreds over my ex.
🙄 Reasons? More like excuses. If you can't count on your friends, then they're not friends.
In life, you'll always have more acquaintances than friends. This is one of the Litmus tests, that help you differentiate between the two. 😏😉
@@broletaso Lol, me too! I need to stop!
Hahaahah the second thing after watching the video! More confusion 🙉
Actually, the simplest (and likely most-common) reason for "ghosting" is probably when one person suddenly realizes that there's nothing really to talk about with the other person anymore; that conversations no longer go anywhere, they consist either of long silences or disagreements, and that after a certain point, attempts at conversation end up being more trouble than they're worth, are more stressful than rewarding, and a person finally realizes they have other, more satisfying & rewarding ways to spend their time & energy. In which case, it's probably less of a conscious decision on their part as it's simply a matter of...just not bothering anymore.
Kind of..
Yes this is exactly what I realized! I feel so guilty and bad about ghosting my so called “best friend” (before), but I only did that because I realized
1) we had nothing in common anymore.
2) she pressured me into doing things that I don’t want, like trying to be extroverted and go to stupid parties with weird people “for her sake”, when that makes me feel very uncomfortable.
3) she was very toxic and didn’t support me in my own life decisions, and she didn’t understand my problems, and only talked about hers.
4) i never felt like I could be myself around her. I always felt like i had to impress her or be funny all the time or else she would think I’m boring to hang around. She made me feel even more insecure about myself and I felt drained out after hanging out with her.
5) she did bad things that go against my personal views for what I stand up for.
6) and also the only reason I was hanging out with her was because I didn’t have any real friends, and I didn’t really understand the importance of good relationships. I thought all friends where good friends.
I feel shit for ghosting her but I’m doing much better off without her.
@@elsie4802 wow I’m going through a similar situation. I’m glad to know that there are others who feel guilty even though we know that we weren’t treated right in the relationship. It’s just that sometimes in order to maintain your own sense of peace, some people need to be cut off, especially if they continuously end up hurting you.
@@elsie4802 oh man gosh, I'm facing a similar situation too!
I can't hang out without feeling the need to please her and make her laugh. And it always feels like I cannot be myself most of the time, its always about her music tastes, what she wants to do and what she thinks. Our relationship at this point is so meaningless and I hate how repetitive it is.
I searched this up feeling gulity and afraid that I'm being toxic but I think she might be the toxic one...
exactly what happened to me, our conversations would always end up in some kind of disagreement, sometimes extremely stupid ones, like one time i told him i have a home server that i can host a minecraft server on for us and for a ~week he would be cold with me and occasionally tell me how much i flex my wealth, i literally just wanted to host a game server, and the server is literally like ~12 year old hardware, after that whole ordeal our talks never went anywhere and most times lead to disagreements again, then i, without even knowing ghosted him but would go back each ~2 weeks because i felt bad which would occasionally end up in fights, less than when i actively talked to him but happened nonetheless, after a few months of that happening i just didnt go back anymore without even realizing, before writing this and thinking about it i still felt bad, so much so that i distanced myself from discord, twitter, and most other social media except youtube because i upload my 3d animations here, my twitter handle is dormant and i havent been on discord for a ~year, now i only participate in niche matrix groups as the only form of group chat, after writing all this out i feel like it wasnt my fault and want to log in to discord, get out of invisible mode and hopefully never use it again
Lmao what a coincidence I just had a “significant other” ghost me lmaoo. She never loved me but it’s cool ig
Awh I’m so sorry
Sorry to hear
Samee
Rip dude
Psych2Go I uh cried it out. I honestly don’t have anyone to like vent to or anything but it’s cool
After almost a year later my take on ghosting has changed so much. Now, I intentionally ghost people who ALWAYS treat me like an option and come to me when they have to brag something about their lives or rant about a college friend or a coworker. Whenever I need them, they are nowhere to be found. This year I Choose me and my sanity and ghosting these people so that I can focus on myself and my life.
Another reason to ghost someone: they're toxic and dont deserve your time.
Eilz Z thank you
Unfortunately true
@@dannyboygregory-mccormick9157 very very true
@@koifishflavor i find if their jelouse aswell
@@koifishflavor oh yes they do that eaten up with envy and jelousy but try to hide it by been 2 faced i find a lot of it cos i work hard and look after wot i got .
Was ghosted a couple years ago by someone I loved very much, after going through a painful divorce, the onset of severe mental illness and her pushing me to come clean about my feelings for her when I was terrified to do so.
Fast forward to the end of 2019 and I came to the conclusion that after being hurt that badly, the only same thing I felt comfortable doing was ghosting the world back. So I did. I shut down all my social media and proceeded to fall as far under the radar as I could. I regret nothing.
Sorry to hear that you have to go through this. What advice would you give to someone in your shoes?
@@Psych2go Honestly...? That people aren't worth the pain they put you through, no matter how much you love them, care about them, want them to be happy or want to be in your life.
People don't want to know what your pain is. They don't want to know what you're feeling or thinking if it runs contrary to their own sense of entitlement, privilege or expectations of who they want you to be.
If you're honest and realize you made a mistake in doing so, no amount of personal responsibility, accountability or atonement will lead to what you want.
In short, people are terrible creatures, especially if you want them to love you, so it's better to let your feelings die on the vine rather than let yourself be vulnerable long enough for someone you think the world of to utterly destroy yours.
Devin Higgins well said 👏
@Decent Fellow And you need to get off your sanctimonious and condescending high horse if you think you can dictate to other people how they should think or feel.
The question was posed to me on what advice would I give. I answered it. Don't like the answer...? That's your problem.
@@DevinJHiggins That's exactly how I felt two years ago! I pushed almost every one away cause I thought that was the only way to survie. In my solitude I was able to heal, I wanted to heal. Now I know better how to protect myself while not hating everybodey, the world used to look gray, not anymore! and my glass that was empty is now half full :) I'm not gonna tell you to stop hating all the people and losing hope in them because that's how you feel right now- and you have reasons to fell that way, but you deserve to live lighter without the burden of these negative feelings. So instead of focusing on how terrible people are just focus on healing your pain and at least these negative feeling will be gone automatically (who knows maybe they even get replaced by more positive feelings). After all, it is a fact that not all people are that bad!
I Ghosted someone because they were Using me and were NOT a TRUE Friend!!!! Sometimes Ghosting someone is the BEST Thing you can do!!!
Ghosting is a coward and childish attitude. Have the courage to tell why you want to end the relationship, because sometimes it can help the other person to grow and to apologize if he/she made a wrong move.
Iskander67 that ain’t always work in abusive relationships lmao
@@Iskander67 well when you have given the reasons and they decide not to listen there's not really much else you can do now is there?
Exactly
@@-ix-3152 Then that wouldn't be ghosting
One more. They get tired of u or they don’t get anything from the relationship anymore. Being friends just to be nice isn’t a thing people wanna do.
Then they can explain that instead of leaving somebody in the dark
Jate how??
@@everythingroxy3582 Tell that person "Hey I don't think we should be friends anymore, we've grown apart in my opinion."
Unsure for any real life scenarios, as ghosting someone is way harder in person, but it's just best to let your friends know what's happening before you just leave them. If you dont hold any hatred for them, be kind on the way out.
@@jmakes411 Exactly. Just say something honest. Or make you sure you let them know that you don't want to get too close.
Sometimes you do tell them you are dissatisfied with the relationship and they act like you never told them and at some point rather then get really specific to the point that would be cruel, you ghost.
I'm fed up getting ghosted. Wen i know they have the phone 24/7
Most of youtube can't see the legitimate reasons for ghosting. Thank you for showing that there are some.
I don’t ghost people it’s not right I just talk like mature people do even if it hurts both of our feelings
Exactly just be mature and be real wit da other person gohsting to me is more painful dan rejection
@Queen Shay Maybe u should heal your anxiety first 😂. What done cannot be change🤥
As a person with abandonment issue, being ghosted was the worst way to be abandoned and imagine how much pain you have to endure especially if you are also an HSP. Back then I didn't know about any of these terms, I was experiencing a pain without knowing what it was or even why, and I was too ashamed of myself to talk to anyone about it because I felt I had no right to feel upset! "I don't know what this is but YOU WILL SURVIVE" I kept telling myself :)))))) and I did!
It took me two years of therapy just to finally know what and why that feeling was, and then I gradually started to heal- still in the process. But healing won't take the scar away, there will always be a scar as long as you remember the experience.
from your personal experience, whats the best activity that you did that is the most significant in your healing process? currently going thru this. really needs some advice😭
Same, I come from a broken home
Everyone I talk to ghosts me. In real life.
Family, friends, lovers.
Hi Weeds Need to find out why if it’s everyone
See I answered you😉
It’s confusing even when your doing everything in your power to make them happy and yet they ghost
ex-boyfriend: *ghosts me for a month*
me: *breaks up with him*
psych2go: *uploads this*
me: 👁👄👁
jokes aside, it left me extremely miserable & I did it for my mental health, since this channel taught me to take care of my mentality first. I feel at peace with myself now & moving on :)
Same!
I’m sorry you had to go through this! The same thing actually happened to me once. Sending love and good vibes 💖
@Boba Panda It's good to hear that you're trying to take care of yourself. Good luck on your journey of moving on.
@@battywitch4096 that was sweet. 💕💕💓
Same👁👄👁
Yep. This happened to me three times this year. Third time just last week. What's weird is all three times were just out of nowhere. No arguments or anything of the sort. I thought we were okay or good and they just left. Blocked me too. Seems kind of cruel to do that with someone who genuinely cared about them. But whatever. You cant make anyone stay in your life if they dont want to...but it does make you wonder what you did or what prompted this. People just dont realise how their actions or inaction affects others.
Anyway, I'm truly sorry to everyone this has happened to. It really sucks.
@@steamedbuns6197 Not sure if you are trying to be a jerk or not but trust me, I examine myself and my behavior every single day. And when it came to those situations, There's nothing I did to merit that kind of response. And I would like to ask what I did (If I in fact did anything), but how can you understand and learn if the other person runs without any explanation? If I'm mature enough to accept responsibility, they should have enough courage to be honest about what happened. Again, if something actually did happen. Sometimes, people are just cruel.
What I despise about being ghosted is that you are unable to learn from your mistake and thus grow as a person.
@@thechanges2327 Well as someone who has ghosted a few people I can share why I did so. It may or may not aply to you, I don't know you personally.
The first reason would be feeling unsafe or uncomfortable. I had some guys who've wanted to meet up or ask mildly inappropriate questions way to soon. They were respectful for the most part but something about them made me feel uncomfortable with them. The way your social media is set up can reflect to way people view you. (I've never really dated and I still dont understand intimacy so this might just be a problem of mine)
Second reason would be an agressive personality. Theres one thing in being confident and another in being self centered or a narcissist. This applies to female friends as well. The last person I ghosted was follower on my art account I'd become friends with. The last conversation we had was me complementing her and refering to her looking similar to musician I like. She told me not to say such things and when I asked why she told me the musician I named was unattractive. That added with her constant intellectual bragging and her admitting to hating "stupid people" made her an unpleasant person to be around.
These are just my two reasons for ghosting, I've had both of these happen with both men and women or in a combination.
I think it's better if you don't take it personally. First, if someone does something mean to you, it says more of themselves than it says about you. Also, ghosting is a form of objectification, it's discarding someone as if it was a mere object. I think it's easier to bear with it if you realize that they most probably didn't see you as a real person, but rather an entertainment, therefore nothing personal.
The last thing you can do is ask yourself questions: what is it of me that I don't like about myself that I can improve? and try to work on that. That's the only thing you can control about rejection, trying to use it as a motivation to become a better version of yourself.
@@astrius4125 I think you're missing the point. Some people may ghost for no reason but most do it out of fear and uncomfortibility (if thats even a word). People aren't going to waste their time on people who make them feel inadequate and unsafe.
I was hard ghosted by my ex girlfriend, her entire friend group, and my peers. If there was a bigger reason, no one ever told me. I deserve to know the reason so I don't have to feel anymore heart pains. Instead of telling me the true reason for ghosting, I was slowly isolated. I try to become more selfish each day so that I can finally turn the pain into greatness. It is a real shame that people can stoop so low for their own benefit.
You sound pretty toxic, that’s why they left you bro
THAT MOMENT WHEN SOMEONE GHOSTS AND THEN COMES CRAWLING BACK LMAOOOOO
LMAO-🤠💀
Im here, take me back!
You never ever take them back
OH YEAH, TIME FOR PAYBACK.
If that happen at least with me they gonna heard some trues...🤬
When I saw this I said to myself: "This is gonna hurt like a bitch",but i'm glad i faced the truth to see what i could improve as a person
Yeah. I think I finally understand now how it is when someone you always loved and cared for suddenly decided to ghosted on you instead of moving forward with you.
No matters what good things they did for you back in the past:
It's their decision now that they won't even let you know about their issues or struggles because you don't matter nor worth it for them to resolve with.
They can throw in as many valid excuses as much as they wanted.
They still ghosted on you because they are selfish, afraid and coward.
And one day they'll just use your anxiety from being ghosted agaisnt you. At worst case blaming you for it.
If they won't confront with you and keep running away.
They ain't worth it. Not with your future.
seriously, ghosting isn't a good form of like staying away or just dealing with personal issue, i mean the one you are talking to assuming its a friend who cares, might get worried... it can also damage one's emotional state and mental well-being. Specially if the one being ghosted is sensitive person.
There is nothing wrong if one doesn't want to talk, or just wanna deal with your personal problems.
.but atleast give them a hint like whether you don't want to talk for the time being, don't leave them hanging like that, cause there is a chance that they may think that you just used them for fun and benefit, and once that is gone you just left them.
Very well said tq
Yeah exactly
Damn I was talking to this guy but talking to him made me really nervous like I felt like I would puke so I told him (kind of but nicer) and then just stopped talking to him is that ghosting?👻
I ghosted someone for a week actually uninstalled insta I didn't left him at SEEN when I came back I replied his msg.. he didn't even ask hey what happened.. .
@@harveydentcanwetrusthim8103 Thats pretty normal tho... Someone just not being online for a week happens. If you got sth. to talk about with someone else just bring it up.
Ghosting is literally impossible to really understand as such unless its a really long time and its obvious the other person is active, just not involved with you. A week where you are just completely inactive... I mean I do that when I just need some me-time
Very timely💕 lot of people are suffering from the pain of being ghosted rn😓
Yeah, hopefully this video can raise awareness on the topic!
Yet nobody is talking about the pain from the person ghosting. I ghosted some girl once since she guilt tripped me by threatening to commit suicide over discord dms back when i was 11. Are we only gonna talk about how it felt for her to lose me?
to be honest I don't even let myself humor the idea of anyone being my friend anymore, been ghosted by every person I ever met
:(
I confessed my feelings to a girl I liked, she ghosted me, if she didn't like me I would have preferred for her to just say that, smh
Sorry to hear that, yes, being ghosted by your crush is the worst. Especially if you will end up seeing them somewhere anyway.
Yup!
Same, I thought.."Wow, I'm way better in this relationship considering I am honest with my feelings, why should I stay? "
I almost feel like they know that so they ghost on purpose
7. They're bored of the conversation.
Just my opinion
Met this girl a few years back, i was so in love with her (so was she by her saying), she had everything id ever seek in a person, she was ill at the time and her uncle died a few weeks before we were gonna meet irl, then she ghosted me for an unknown reason...
It took me 6months to stop thinking about her for every single second of a day, but even now, a few years later, i still think of her, and wish things were different...
The moments i had with her were the best i ever felt, and also the worst..
Trust me she will be back and at a time when you least expect and when she does don’t make the mistake of thinking that everything will go back to the way it was when you used to hang out together, you can still be civil towards her but don’t get your hopes up too much about pursuing anything romantic with her because chances are she could be a cold calculated covert narcissist and believe me you don’t want someone like that in your life.
It's sad that even with some reasons like this when you are ghosted by someone you can never know the aswer, since theres no more confrontation, and even if it was your fault, you can't remedy whatever error you did.
Exactly, I can't stand this discard of people culture without even giving them the chance to know why and possibly fix it. Makes me sick to my core
@@LadyLavenderx This can mean we don't value relationships like we used to. I think it all stems from a lack of empathy. Why am I starting to think that "ghosting" may be a sign of anti-social behavior, when I also think it couldn't be? Can somebody explain to me?
Yes, but sometimes these people were given a chance. Often even more than one. They were given the opportunity to correct their errors but actively chose not to or simply pretended they were never told. What are you supposed to do in that situation? Continue to allow them to emotional burn you out? Keep allowing them to try and gaslight you? Just let them keep emotionally abusing you?
I feel so bad...I haven’t been responding to people a LOT lately, and it’s not because I don’t want to talk to them, I’m just really overwhelmed with life right now. I sleep all day and stay up all night and isolate myself and avoid my problems nonstop instead of just addressing them and moving on with life. And I hate being the one to ghost people because the last thing I want to do is hurt them🙁 But it’s hard to respond and be myself when I have no energy left🤦♀️ idk if I’m the only one
@Ellie M you're not alone. I know it feels like it alot. I don't know your specifics, but I do know that if you can identify both the problem and understand why you respond to it the way you do, you have the potential to make small changes. Keyword is small. Don't try to make any big changes. I know where you are now, because I have been there. I still have work to do, but I had to start with baby steps. No shame in that. I'll tell you now, you matter. Give yourself a chance, little by little. I am also overwhelmed by alot of things, so I have to be careful how I react. Not trying to make it about me though. You're worth the time, don't forget that.
I know what you mean
You sound depressed. You may need counseling, or open up to someone that you can trust. Either way I pray things work out for you in Jesus name.
I understand where you're coming from. Sometimes it's easier to ghost someone instead of opening yourself up to someone who could possibly judge you. Sometimes though, you need at least 1 person that you can open up to. I hope things get better for you.
I've ghosted on people aswell because I was hurt alot in past not mention I had ex from 4 years ago was seeing someone else especially after breakup and whenever Im on group chats people even my friends tend to ignore me. So yeah I feel like cutting people in my life is part of my healing. Im sorry if its sounds selfish to you all but I wanna take care myself especially when I went through depression.
I ghosted them because of my mental health. They made me feel bad about myself and ashamed of being "me" so yeah im actually so glad that i did that.
Having been ghosted recently by someone because of their mental health , I advice you to atleast tell them what’s going on. You need not go into much detail but just give them a heads up that you’re not feeling so good and want to stop contacts until you feel better. Because trust me , being ghosted has also damaged my mental health as well. I know people tend to only see their perspective but try to see other people’s perspective as well.
Same but I had many conversations with them about my mental health before deciding to. Friends who are like that are sometimes manipulative and get you to feel like you've done something wrong so you deserve the abuse and bull crap. Till today she does everything to torture me. From sending people after me to kicking me out of our big friend group. I've filed a police report on this person now. I don't regret though. For once in my I'm caring about me.
Did you tell them that they were hurting your feelings? Confronting it would help both them understand and you.
Good choice. Love yourself is be best option
Well say that then.
If you are reading this: You’re a lovely amazing person! You are worth something! Have a wonderful day
Who knew an egg is so wise
Deimos E.O Alastor yep
Thank you! You too! :D
Nah, I'm not
Ghosting is so horrible. I was ghosted recently. They've pretend to be interested. But when it comes to finally going out on a date, they completely vanish. I honestly have no idea why they did it. We were getting on great until the day arrived and then nothing. If you're not interested at least say to them no biggie. Rather tell than completely cut off the whole conversation without a trace. Don't lead somebody on thinking they would be hope and just do that.
I agree with all of the points mentioned in this video. However, I have been treated bad by many people. I use to accept every form of behaviour. I never really stood up for myself, always gave more than I could take and always tried my hardest to please others. I myself struggle with depression, stress and anxiety. But one of the main things for me to learn how to cope and deal with my mental health is to let go of the people that don't value me and my efforts. It's way better to heal when you let go of toxic people.
I'm not proud of it, but I ghosted friends. I felt that they were better off without me and they didn't actually care about me. I still have that problem where I will constantly withdraw from people because I feel they'll be happier without me. It's why I don't have friends and I don't have a relationship with anyone in my family...
I guess it's abandonment and trust issues coupled with lack of self-worth and severe depression.
You'll get through this I promise 💜 however, and I know it's difficult, but please don't ghost your friends, they are the ones who'll be able to help you the most, you can stick to one person. One good friend is enough 💜
Get help. You need it.
Same :)
I relate to this that’s why I stopped making friends because I fear of hurting them also I hope your ok and I hope you’ll be better💗
I lost all confidence in trying to socialize it’s just pointless going through on social media now a days
Covid has changed a lot of people through the months... it’s sad to see them become strangers especially when a person or ourselves can struggle through mental health that makes us isolate and withdraw ourselves from others
And it’s ok if you have that, you aren’t alone. Just know that there can always be a specific person in your life that cares about you✨
Yeah, that happened to me. My friend who I've known for seven years (!) was ghosting me for 4 months and some days ago she unfriended me on social media. I don't think I said anything wrong, she probably just got bored of me and choose the silent option...
It's a pretty cruel way IMO, she knew I have self-doubts, I'm sure she knew leaving me like that will make me think I'm worthless, yet she did that to me instead of, idk, saying she won't have time for me or something?
The worst thing about it is that she was my only friend (besides my mother) and I'm too shy to meet new people.
Sorry for my (probably) bad English, I'm still learning.
Dont worry once you stop focusing on that friend, new friends will come in ur life that will support u just live in the moment. As much as it was hard for me to let go of my best ex friend that clearly is toxic. I am glad that I was able to remove myself from communicating with that person all together and I'm accepting and content that they ghosted me back because for one they are not mature enough to move on from the past issues neither can they be be honest about how they feel and insted seeking out revenge on me to make things worse. But luckily enough after 3 months of cancelling that person I was able to get new friends to talk to that supported me and accepted me and didn't judge me on my past even if they did or didnt know the ex I was referring to and besides if that person ever wants to come back in your life? They will find a way to if not that's there loss so forget it cuz there are way better ppl out there.
Hey, Lisa! I know it's been a year since you commented, but want to talk? Can I have some way to contact you?
It's best to have closure. Ghosting without an explanation creates depression and anxiety.
I agree. Unfortunately, it happens rarely and only if the ghoster cared a minimum about your feelings.
Yes.. I have it happening right now. Its like she's a different person
tried getting closure, got scared, ran away again.
I just want peace. That's why I'm ghosting. Yeah I know. Such a loser trying to run from my problem.
Im that kind of loser too..but then again I dont expect alot of people to leave or stay in my life , its their choice too.
well, dont feel bad. I run from my problems too, but I deal with other problems just like you.
at least you acknowledge your weaknesses and think as something you can do something about.
I for instance never get too close to people because I know they will never be my true friend (I've been like this for a very long time, lots of years)
Yeah, I've been ghosting everyone since 2 months, I got tiered of being the one that tried to star conversations and laughs and just stopped talking. All my friends have tried contacting me, but it's happened before and I'll just end up trying too hard again. Sucks to do sometimes, but you can't put a price on that type of peace
@@chrisyepez3552 this same thing happened to me when I was 18 and I never really got around it. (I'm 28 by today)
I had to deal with the fact that people didn't need me as much as I needed them, I guess the friends I cared about the most stopped talking me mostly because they found people that had more in common with them, they found a job where they got to know new people or started dating someone and had less time to get involved with their friends.
Time passed and I got new people in my life (I never considered any of them my friends, I never actually let anyone enter my life) in college, in some job and I also got girlfriends that ended up also being my best friends (mostly because they called every day to know how I was doing when my other friends from the past never did).
I don't think I'm the right person to tell you how to make friends because I never got the hang of it but If I was 18 all over again, I would have opened more to people and let them in my life instead of hanging to the past like I did.
Pussy
I got ghosted by the only person I ever really cared about. One thing I'll say is that you shouldn't ever do this to somebody. I am actually devastated and confused.
When someone “ghosted” you, it just shows the reality that you are dead to them and they are dead to you. In other words, that person has already crossed off to the other side where you’re no longer apart of. It’s hurtful and disrespectful, but that how others act in life; because they’re cowards.
If that person cares, he or she will make the time to be in your life no matter how busy the life style is. Ghosting is a cowardly way to move on. But when it does happen, just grab a bottle of Jack, drink those tears away and than laugh and move on.
Right? The truth of this is so disturbing, but the sooner people realize what a ghost is, the sooner they can get on with the road to self-respect and choosing friends/dates who have communication skills rather than obsessing on "why" they were ghosted...thus preventing future ghosts!
Cherry Muse
True, if someone is being abusive, it’s best to just cut them out of your life. It’s easy to ghost random trolls on social media who you wouldn’t know personally, so there’s no emotional connection.
But if it is personal like a relationship of some kind, than it should be addressed as such that you at least will let them know that you’ve had enough of their B.S, and ready to move on unless they change their ways which most likely those who are abusive won’t bother. If those who are abusive don’t get the picture, than yes; ghost them, block them and than move on.
I didn't know what to do anymore, she cut herself before and now. Why is she cutting herself if she has plenty of friends that love her? Because we don't mean much to her, that's why. I wanted her to be happy, i really did. I feel guilty but i think it was the right choice. But don't do what i did, TALK to them first, tell them why you are ending the relationship, and then leave. Dont fall for anything they say, they don't mean it. They just want someone to be their only for them. She would get angry if i chose homework over talking and said along the lines, "Best friends are supposed to be mean to each other in a teasing way, right?"
Depends on who the person is, but she literally used me in the anime amino to make herself look better. She made me tell my past to strangers i DIDN'T want to tell. And she used my real name in front of them, so that was the last straw. She keeps forgetting stuff about me, but expects me to know everything about her. I'm not joking, she expects me to remember tiny details anyone would forget. Im sad right now, because i had no other real friends than her and her friends. But they would easily take her side. So i don't plan on making any more friends. Period.
ship me n u Well don’t completely stop yourself from making friends, just choose wisely.
My ex be like *I’m a man of words.*
Then got ghosted.
STORYTIME FOR YOU FRIENDS!!
So, I'm entering my junior year of college/university (whatever you want to call it). In September of my freshman year two years ago, I met a guy who lived in the residence hall across from mine. My friends had sent me to that specific residence hall to reserve the TV while they went to go change because we had just come from swimming at the pool. I walked in wearing some sweats and a hoodie, my hair a complete MESS, and I see these two guys blasting music and playing ping pong. One of them was super cute--tall with dark curly hair, just my type hahaha--and he was blasting a song by my favorite band. I went towards them and asked who was blasting the music, and he said he was. Eventually, my friends came but I continued to try and talk to the cute guy and watch him and his roommate play. That happened on a Sunday, and a few days later my friends were hanging out again at his residence hall and I got his number. One night, we were texting and he invited me upstairs to his dorm. He came down and got me, and long story short we watched some movies and kissed. I thought things were gonna go super well between us. I was super happy because this was at a time in my life when I felt super lonely because all of my friends and best friends were getting into relationships or were just currently in happy ones. I thought I was gonna have the same thing with him. Well, on Friday I had gotten dinner with his friends and he acted as if he didn't kiss me the night before. I texted him Sunday morning, wondering if he wanted to get breakfast with me. No reply. I texted him a few days later saying hi, and still no reply.
BUT GET THIS!! After I had texted him, I was heading back to my dorm one day when I saw him walking down the street in my direction. He walked by me, staring straight ahead as if we were complete strangers. Thus began him ghosting me. The worst thing about this is I began seeing him EVERYWHERE around campus. First, it was just in the mornings at a dining court while getting breakfast (which was quite scary because, at that time of the day, only a few people were there), and it was like once or twice a week. But soon I started seeing him every single day, everywhere. On the way to class. In the morning. Coming home from marching band rehearsal (I'm in my college's color guard). I saw him around campus practically every day after he ghosted me. I even ran into him on the last day of the first semester right before winter break. I was on my way to get my color guard uniforms because we had a Bowl came coming up, so I was walking through the doors, leaving my residence hall, when he was coming in with his roommate. And we walked through the same doors so I had to walk right past them.
By the end of that semester, I was left completely emotionally, psychologically, and mentally scarred. Every time I saw him I would remember that night he kissed me and his behavior before, during, and after that night. I would think, "Did I do something wrong? Is there something wrong with me? Am I not good enough? What the heck happened??" During winter break, I thought that the next semester would be better. New schedule, harder classes. More time to focus on me, less time to think about the guy who got my hopes up and then crushed them. I thought that with everyone taking different classes, then that would shake both of ours enough to where I would never see him again. Nope. I saw him on the first Thursday of the new semester. It pissed me OFF. I even ran into him at least three times last fall, and two of those times we made eye contact. It was kind of annoying, especially because one of those days was a football game day and I was with my color guard in uniform.
If you read this entire essay about one small piece of my failed love life, congrats. Give this comment a like and/or reply lol.
Essentially the same thing happened to me except it was a girl. Ghosted next after we kissed. Sometimes people just don’t feel that spark but if they’re willing to do that to you then they’re not the right person for you. Best thing is to forget the encounter and move on. It’s hard I know but everything happens for a reason
I feel like there's 2 possible explanations for this. Either:
1-He realized he did not have feelings for you after he kissed you and wanted to part ways from you before things got too serious but was too cowardly to just tell you he wasn't interested.
OR
2-He was genuinely interested in you but was afraid of getting too intimate with you for one reason or another and didn't know how to proceed so he just cowered away.
Either way, it's best you move on because it's clear he's not right for you and it's not healthy to dwell on past disappointments like these.
Damn, I'm sorry you had to go through that! I was ghosted as well, by my then-boyfriend. We'd been growing apart by that point, but it still wasn't ok. There was no recent fight, no explanation either. He just...disappeared mid-conversation. I sent him a DM telling him we were done. He still refused to answer. After 6 days, I told him I had no interest in ever contacting him again and blocked him. It hurt, but it was for the best. I think it was for the best in your situation, too. Someone who ghosts for any reason other than the other person being toxic or abusive clearly has their own issues. They're probably weak, just like my ex, and someone like that isn't worth your time.
i got ghosted by someone and i blocked them on everything cause i know my worth now and i see this 👁👄👁
That's good! I'm proud of you for seeing your worth and distancing yourself from people who make you feel less.
So did I ;) you go bird !
@Alex Rodriguez nah it happened at least twice before i just decided to block him and i texted him at least 4 times before i blocked him THEN i tossed him
Thank you for showing that there can be multiple reasons for ghosting, since a lot of people tend to assume it's just the ghostee not caring about their friend or a loved one. I'm not ruling out that that can't be the case... There are people out there who just don't care enough to acknowledge your existence, and it hurts. But whenever I see any content about the topic, the comments are flooded with hate towards the people who ghost, people immediately cutting them out, saying how it's toxic and mostly people bitter about their past relationship. I never see the other side being mentioned as anything other than the big bad guy who just doesn't care, simply put, an asshole. And I'm ashamed that sometimes when I read enough of it, it gets to me. Because I'm guilty of this act, I'm guilty of hurting people who I care about immensely because I simply just can't type a word out. I've been working on it and I've gotten better at just calmly trying to solve the conflicts that occur, but there have been times where it just gets too much and I'm back to 0. I know I should be saying how I feel, explaining myself, apologizing and properly making it up to the other person... I want to do all of that so badly, yet my mind and body just feels completely blacked out and frozen in time. I'm flooded by so many things I have to and want to say, but also by so many internal voices telling me it's all worthless and all the words would never portray what I really meant, would never be understood, and would never matter. It has never been that I don't care about them, or their feelings and struggles. I have two people in my life and they're the only ones who really know me and matter to me the most. Yet I've done this to both of them. All I can think about is just that they won't hear my words, that I'm a monster and I'll never really make them feel loved, that if I say how I truly feel they'll prove me wrong and it just feels like a sin in general. Just thinking about the feeling of saying anything overwhelms me and makes me want to shut off from the entire world and forget about it all. It feels so suffocating not being able to show that I'm hurting, defend myself, or even soothe them when I've done wrong, because just saying how much I care about them feels like I'm ripping myself apart. This is my side of the story even though it probably doesn't even matter, because in the end I'm the one who ends up hurting them wether I speak or not. I'm grateful for having friends who are still there even though I'm so difficult to deal with, and I'm glad I had a chance to have people in my life who know how much I care despite me doing all kinds of weird shit and hurting them in the process. I'm glad they didn't just give up on me and cut me off, and I'll keep trying to better myself even though it's tough doing it on my own. I hope I can get help one day and finally free myself of my own mind. That's about all for my buried comment rant, whoever actually read this, take care my friend you have too much time on your hands.
Let's switch roles. Praying you'll start meeting people you can't be without and then they ghost you, while me, it's time for me to ghost people like you. Then only I could understand people like you without judging at all, while you too, could finally understand how people like me would feel.
The guy was so good to me,suddenly he has just stopped contacting or responding.
I am happy that I’m not the only one facing ghosting and other relationship problems, I realised that not everyone can be your friend and not everyone is sincere
#4 it's the easiest course of action. Sometimes its the easiest way to run away from a toxic relationship
Currently got ghosted by someone I really cared about and who made me feel really good, I feel like a drug addict who is going through rehab.
Reason #7: "walking away from a narcissist."
haha yeap!
Yeah that's true
yes 😁
Thank you
Exactly
This is such painful experiences.
It is. It's hard to move on from. And then you keep thinking you did something wrong.
Yep, I think it’s such a damaging thing to do to someone
If they want, they'll find time to talk to you. Period.
I was ghosted by a very important person for me at the end of 2019. This ended up him blocking me on all the messengers. I feel so much pain ever since. I feel I'm not capable of meeting new people and maintaining any relationship anymore. Please, if you're ghosting someone right now, just go ahead and talk to them. It may be very hard, but it will cause much less harm than ghosting. (Sorry for my English)
Olga Phillips *Hugs* it’s okay! Your english is much better then mine!
@@skylovermc2146 Thanks a lot! ^^
In some cases, no, talking will not do more good than bad.
@@-ix-3152 completely disagree
@@-ix-3152 it would make it easier to ghost you
Biggest reason is they're a coward. If you can't just send a not interested, you're a coward, plain and simple
True
Not interested
That's facts
Honestly.
Don't judge someone until you have the whole story
I was in a exclusive dating relationship with a girl for 5 months. I’ve known her for 6 years but we started to date a couple months ago. Things were really good in the beginning. One thing forsure is that we are very busy in our everyday lives but we would be in contact throughout the day and when we had free time we would hangout and enjoy each other’s company. One day I notice she started to become distant with me through messages. So I brought it up to her to attention on why is she being a lil cold. She told me she was going through something (personal issues), me being genuine with her wanted to know if she was okay and if she needed someone to talk to, that I’m just a phone call away. She told me no that I don’t want to talk about it, usually when I get flustered or stressed I tend to isolate myself from people. I was like okay, i understand it, I’ll give you your space and some time. Hope things are okay with you . And what fucked me up was that I started to overthink and my mind would start to race thinking the worst. At that time I’m recovering from surgery so I was at home in bedrest. I felt like I was in a vulnerable place. Usually to take the stress or anxiety away I would play basketball or go to the gym. I couldn’t do that cause of my surgery from my appendix getting removed. So I let like two days pass before I hit her back up. Texted her hey good morning how’s everything with you. I don’t get a response later that afternoon saying she’s not ready to put herself out there like that and she still needs some space . So I try to be a simp for her and brought her food on her lunch, just to have good intentions, and idk if this was the right thing or a bad thing idk. And I didn’t see her at all. She made up an excuse that she couldn’t see me. So now my mind starts racing again, thinking that did I do something wrong or is she talking to someone else. I had a breaking point the next day during the evening I texted her hey I’m outside I have a present for you (flowers), wasn’t answering my messages or calls, I had a breaking point I reach out to a mutual friend of ours who we are both cool with . I talk to him on the phone in tears just cause I couldn’t take it anymore, knowing if I did something wrong and why she was doing this to me. He tells me aye man she does all the time when she’s feeling stressed. Let her come to you when’s ready don’t force it. He made very good points and his words comfort me and I stopped messaging her . A week later she messages hey I know I’ve been going through some stuff but I wanted to know where your at mentally and I told her I’m okay rn, I just wanted to give you your space and time . I don’t hear from her for another week . And she texts me hey and some small talk here and there and this day was the most we communicated with each other in a while. Last thing I texted her was like heyy whatcha up to rn. Ghosts me and I don’t hear from her ever since. I’m not blocked or deleted. I want to give her space and time to continue this relationship with her but apart of me feels like I’m tired of this, that I need to move on cause I don’t deserve this coming from a good heart 😔. But it’s hard cause I caught feelings and now I don’t know what to do anymore, I stopped texting her and I try to focus on myself more. I’m taking everything day by day and I hope to see the light at the end of tunnel. No one should ever go through this. Here I am TH-cam I hope who ever is going through something like this just know your not the only one I hope your doing okay in life ❤️…
I feel you sm. I'm so genuine and love to go an extra mile for those I truly care about but, sometimes you've just got to take your distance in order to keep yourself from hurting even more! You got this.
How are things now 3 years later?
What if that person's just a plain jerk? 😂😂😂
How do you know
If They Were *Plain Jerks* They're Unlikely To Be Close To You Though, But Good Point Anyway!
I SECOND THIS 😂😂😂
Not really there is always a reason
@@juniorlewiskythatnigga7448 no this person can be right too
I'm getting ghosted by someone I really cared about and I tried to contact them but they didn't respond, and my sibling is getting ghosted by their boyfriend and they are really upset about it, so thank you I needed this
Sorry to hear and hope all works out! Being ghosted really sucks.
Thank you and it really does
@@remyislost2655 says more about them than you. They're just rude
I ghost people when:
1. We are not compatible.
2. When I feel used or taken advantage.
3. When I feel something is not right.
4. When I feel I am wasting my time.
So essentially you use people as objects that may lead to your own personal success and ghost them when they're no longer useful? Kinda bold to admit it but okay.
@@atlas909-n4r I don't use them as objects. I learned the HARD WAY if you give too much, you ended up being the one asking for help and no one will help since everyone has an impression of you being a "bank". Therefore, I learn not to waste my resources. If people want to spend some time with me, I will make sure it is quality time, where everyone is treated as equal and not me paying for everything.
Exactly. I ghost to prevent abusive dialogue and to save time.
@@atlas909-n4r I ghost when I realize I am not going to be useful to them. I want friends, not caseloads and I don't hang around for narcissistic abuse or guilt trips.
Exactly, giving too much love to people leads them to use us
This is really not just applicable to relationships but friendships as well.
the SUMMARY you're looking for:
1. They don’t feel safe 0:44
2. They want revenge 1:08
3. Fear of intimacy 1:33
4. It’s the easiest course of action 2:02
5. They’re going through something in their personal life 2:27
6. They’re afraid of confrontation 3:04
7. I'm just an ass.
8. They ask you to play fortnite again
@@DUBS3SS10N stop talking to children
@@AutomaticDuck300 I do that's why I am ghosting them
Add #7. When you finally realize someone is a total narcissist... aka, "It's always all about ME!" And lotsa luck trying to 'discuss' it, 'cuz there's never any other POV but theirs, which is usually why you're ditching 'em in the first place!
I'm so tired of putting myself out there socially and getting rejected or worse, just straight up blocked.
I've pretty much given up on meeting new people entirely because it's always only a matter of time before they're sick of me
I only ghost when it's obvious they're a threat... But most of the time it's not the best decision to do.
it can break someone's heart if they truly cared about you.
She didnt care about me. All she wanted was someone to vent to when it was convenient, and guilt tripped me into staying by threatening suicide. It was over a year ago, and i've made several comments like this on similar videos already, and even if im over it its really fucked up that i go through the trauma but become the bad guy because i ghosted for the sake of helping myself
@@joeyjointjebaiter1275 Threatening with suicide or severe self-harm, this reminds me of my ex. I wanted to leave him months before I actually did but he didn't let me leave. Now I know I should have left when self-harming behavior started.
On a more positive note, our semi-friendship now is better than our relationship ever was, we talked it through and he is happy with what I assume is his new girlfriend so I believe the behavior has stopped now.
@@Yun-Jin432 i think she was actually. She told me about a toxic relationship she had with some guy from sweden, and i guess she wanted to take it out on me because im also swedish? I dont really know, but it was pretty fucked up anyway
When I'm a ghoster and I leave people because I want to be alone and can't handle giving any energy to people no matter how much I like them. Sorry :(
Sounds like that could be the introvert part of you :)
Yea thats slighty immature, hopefully u turn things around 1 day
I know how you feel, I couldn't handle all the pressure from everyone asking me where I was or why I wasn't texting back, so I ghosted them
I agree it just takes too much energy to think about what to reply
@@xuewei393 yess I freeze. If I don't know how to talk to people face to face how am I supposed to text them? It's a wonder I have friends at all:)
People ghost me because I probably said something weird and didn't know it, and because I didn't magically know what it was and fixed it without them saying something, they completely abandon me.
This video is just what I needed.
During the last three years, I have been losing contact and closeness with my friends due to personal situations, but in these last days I have felt especially lonely, forgotten and sad. However, you always lift my spirits and make me feel truly understood.
Thank you very much and please continue with your excellent work! ♥️🎉
Is it just me or whenever im going through something alone you upload what i needed? TwT
It's probably just the timing!
My friends reason for ghosting:
1. They’re too lazy to answer
2. They’ve fallen asleep
3. They have no idea of what to talk about
My best friend is no longer talking to me or even acknowledging that I'm even alive. I don't even know what I did wrong😭
@@darthvader1793 Um, my heart feels like a billion pound boulder fell on my heart. I honestly feel betrayed, he just stopped talking to me, he's avoiding me, he doesn't care about me anymore and some more stuff. It just hurts, I don't even know what I did wrong, I'm always by his side but it feels like he's no longer on mine. You know?
@ginger You are so sweet! I hope I do, reading your comment made my heart feel so warm!
It may not have anything to do with you Allie Ann. If your friend is going through something painful or difficult or very private he/she may not want to talk about it. Some people like to be left alone when they are not feeling good.
She ain’t a best friend then
@@darthvader1793 I can understand her somehow. It is not nice, but for me, it happened often, that someone fell in love with me, but I didn't, I always thought, it was just a good friendship and then they came to say they love me all of a sudden. I never flirtet with them, I was just friendly like a good friend is friendly to someone.
How would you feel? It was always a bad situation for me. I didn't ghost them, but I reduced the contact to get more space and I told them, that I didn't want the contact anymore, because I never loved them. Everytime after friendzoning them, they made me felt guilty why I don't have feelings for them and stuff.
Next time I just ghost them... at least I have a boyfriend now, so I definetely ghost. This should be a reason enough.
“Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.”
― Maya Angelou
Thus become ghost!
No
Yasss
number 5 seems the most likely when I've had with some friends and I hope that's the reason
i hope so too. i hope it wasnt me. i just wish my friend would give me an explanation. he doesnt have to be my friend but just a simple explanation is all i ask
I’ve had it happened to me and I’ve done it.
I think we go through our fair shares. How are you feeling now?
Psych2Go that’s a complicated question. It’s a spectrum of feelings daily. Today I’m lonely.
After having someone ghost me recently, I was literally JUST reading an article about what to do when someone ghosts you and I get this notification?? I was shocked, lol, coincidence??
Law of attraction! Do you believe in it?
Only immature, broken and narcissistic people ghost those that care. They need massive counseling
And what about ghosting those that don't care? What do you think about that?
Delilah Autumnfire if they don’t care about you then tell them peace out ✌🏻 and leave. Ghosting is just immature.
@@Paarthurnaxdova well said