*Geiriau* Pan fyddo'r nos yn hir A phell y wawr Brwydro drwy'r oriau hir Heb gwsg un awr Ymladd a throi a throi Drwy'r oriau maith Heb weled diwedd ddoe Na phen i'r daith Yna drwy'r tywyllwych du Gwella dy wyneb di Wrth gofio rhamant Cau mae'r amrant Pan fo'r nos yn hir Pan fyddo'r nos yn hir A phell y wawr Brwydro drwy'r oriau hir Heb gwsg un awr Ymladd a throi a throi Drwy'r oriau maith Heb weled diwedd ddoe Na phen i'r daith Yna drwy'r tywyllwych du Gwella dy wyneb di Wrth gofio rhamant Cau mae'r amrant Pan fo'r nos yn hir Yna drwy'r tywyllwych du Gwella dy wyneb di Ac ofn a gilia Braw ddiflana Pan fo'r nos yn hir
What's happening in the beginning of this arrangement? It was at least three bars before I got any idea of the melody. Couldn't make out the words either. Not a great start at all. There is absolutely no reason to add harmony to Ryan's beautifyl unison sound; the harmony comes in on the chorus. Trying to 'float' a descant above the melody line is also a bad idea - especially when the top tenors can't reach it - they are almost a tone flat! Again, opening of verse two is not recognisable as Pan Fo'r Nos yn Hir for several bars. It's a case of you trying to fix something that wasn''t broken. The ending is over fussy and over complicated and definitely doesn't work. Intonation was poor throughout and it really manifested itself on the ending. Sorry for the criticisms but this song is very dear to my heart, and I have done it with great success with all my Male Voice Choirs. Keep it simple please.
*Geiriau*
Pan fyddo'r nos yn hir
A phell y wawr
Brwydro drwy'r oriau hir
Heb gwsg un awr
Ymladd a throi a throi
Drwy'r oriau maith
Heb weled diwedd ddoe
Na phen i'r daith
Yna drwy'r tywyllwych du
Gwella dy wyneb di
Wrth gofio rhamant
Cau mae'r amrant
Pan fo'r nos yn hir
Pan fyddo'r nos yn hir
A phell y wawr
Brwydro drwy'r oriau hir
Heb gwsg un awr
Ymladd a throi a throi
Drwy'r oriau maith
Heb weled diwedd ddoe
Na phen i'r daith
Yna drwy'r tywyllwych du
Gwella dy wyneb di
Wrth gofio rhamant
Cau mae'r amrant
Pan fo'r nos yn hir
Yna drwy'r tywyllwych du
Gwella dy wyneb di
Ac ofn a gilia
Braw ddiflana
Pan fo'r nos yn hir
What's happening in the beginning of this arrangement? It was at least three bars before I got any idea of the melody. Couldn't make out the words either. Not a great start at all. There is absolutely no reason to add harmony to Ryan's beautifyl unison sound; the harmony comes in on the chorus. Trying to 'float' a descant above the melody line is also a bad idea - especially when the top tenors can't reach it - they are almost a tone flat! Again, opening of verse two is not recognisable as Pan Fo'r Nos yn Hir for several bars. It's a case of you trying to fix something that wasn''t broken. The ending is over fussy and over complicated and definitely doesn't work. Intonation was poor throughout and it really manifested itself on the ending. Sorry for the criticisms but this song is very dear to my heart, and I have done it with great success with all my Male Voice Choirs. Keep it simple please.