Why I Don't Have Many Friends

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 ธ.ค. 2024

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  • @NatashaNewtonArt
    @NatashaNewtonArt  2 ปีที่แล้ว +190

    In this video I'll share the process of working on a mixed media painting in watercolour and pencil in my sketchbook while I chat to you about why I don't have many friends. This is just me being very honest about myself, my circumstances and my life, in the hope that it resonates with some of you, and that you'll perhaps feel less alone. Are you an introvert too? Do you have a large friendship group, just a couple of close friends, or no friends at all? Do you ever feel lonely and how do you cope? Sending so much love to you all.

    • @maryannprzybycien2013
      @maryannprzybycien2013 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      I'd love to be your friend if you'd have me. 😊
      It's uncanny how much I feel we have in common, from childhood on up. It was like you were describing my life. (I know that probably sounds corny and I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable in any way.) I just want you to know there are people who have similar backgrounds and stories. I too am an introvert and have only a few really good friends because of trust issues. My best friend of 30 years moved to Florida from New Jersey and we only communicate occasionally. But I'd rather have a couple of true, good friends than a lot of questionable people that I have to figure out. I don't have the energy for that. For me there are friends and there are acquaintances.
      One of my closest friends and I met through group therapy. As well as my fiance! He and I have so much in common with our life experiences.
      Well, I think I've taken up enough of your time. Just know there are those of us that are here for you if you need us. ❤️

    • @michemman
      @michemman 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@maryannprzybycien2013 I wonder if you could be a pen pal via snail mail?
      Eliza Most Beautiful Day is today!
      1st of September 2022
      Australia xx🌏

    • @denisehill7769
      @denisehill7769 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Natasha, listening to your nightclub experience reminded me of the time 15 years ago when I swore to myself I would never go to another wedding. I would go to the church ceremony, but that's that. Having made that decision actually helped me to say No. There is nothing wrong in not enjoying nightclubs, have been there, done that, don't want to do it again. I also have a very small friendship group in real life, plus a couple of online only close friendships, my husband has even fewer friends and he's more than happy. I've come to appreciate my outsider position, as we all have our role to play in this world.

    • @pippaloves
      @pippaloves 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I'm an introvert. I miss my friends from school so so much I've just not been able to be a good friend, I can't stay in contact. I dream of them often. I can't connect with people like I used to. I don't know why.

    • @Hs5ab
      @Hs5ab 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I am like you I am and artist, and an introvert. I had the same "night club" experience, I thought I was just weird. I then had no other introverts around me. I now have 3 really good friends, they are introverts as well. We mostly text each other to chat. I can text off and on for hrs. but a real conversation would drain me. Thanks for posting this makes me feel a little bit like my tribe is bigger than I thought.

  • @mindywilson1111
    @mindywilson1111 2 ปีที่แล้ว +633

    I am an introvert as well. At 57 years old I know who I am and what I need to survive in this world: a big part of the day alone, my pets, calming music, lots of sleep, walks outside, drawing, painting and photography, and most importantly people who understand me and support me. I wasted years of my life trying to “fit in” and even drank too much to relax at parties and events. Now, at this time in my life, I’ve created my world to fit me, not the other way around. I’m happy for you for accepting yourself and being honest with others. We need more people like you to “come out” as introverts because we are pretty amazing people! Also you have the most calming and beautiful voice!

    • @stacymatejovic2164
      @stacymatejovic2164 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I agree!

    • @paul-oram
      @paul-oram 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      I can relate to you completely. At 56 I can be honest with myself.

    • @puppiesmama6511
      @puppiesmama6511 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I agree as well.... 60 years here! 💛

    • @PatriciaPageMosaicArtsCrafts
      @PatriciaPageMosaicArtsCrafts 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thank you so much for sharing ❤

    • @jenniferrennie6582
      @jenniferrennie6582 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I have a few special friends and a lot of family friends angles and spiritual relationship with the lord we all are
      Capeàble of art painting and communication

  • @wendychampness1901
    @wendychampness1901 2 ปีที่แล้ว +377

    I’m definitely an introvert! Going on 70, I’ve realized that we introverts have handled the pandemic much better than extroverts.
    I love watching you create your art❣️

    • @Chris-kh2fm
      @Chris-kh2fm 2 ปีที่แล้ว +49

      I'm 67 and also an introvert. The friends I had (not many) have either died or drifted away. I'm alone but not lonely, I love my own company. I agree about the pandemic, it hardly effected me.

    • @xxMrsHuntxx
      @xxMrsHuntxx 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @wendy This really made me smile, it’s so very true 😀

    • @juliedrakeArtist
      @juliedrakeArtist 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      So true Wendy, I felt bad at the time for loving the lockdowns in the UK. My creativity soared and I was so happy.

    • @fionawhitfield925
      @fionawhitfield925 2 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      I too loved lockdown in the uk. I would happily go back to the beginning tomorrow. Nothing to do with the pandemic as that was awful for everyone and so scary. Just the being safe and cocooned and not having to worry about socialising.

    • @elainetyrrell4669
      @elainetyrrell4669 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      I totally agree with you about the pandemic. I live on the west coast of Canada and we were never forced to stay at home but we weren’t allowed to have visitors in the house which suited me absolutely.

  • @homebodyheaven6114
    @homebodyheaven6114 2 ปีที่แล้ว +76

    I’m 74 and I have no use for large groups of superficial friends who talk about meaningless things that don’t interest me in the least. I have spent my life with one to now a handful of people I wish to spend time with. Mostly I, like you, enjoy my alone time most of all. Good for you for being forthcoming about it.

    • @shaylynmarie9572
      @shaylynmarie9572 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I’m 28, have a few but not really close friends & wish to change that. I feel like now the people my age are in to being friends for superficial reasons, and I find it bland & meaningless. It’s hard finding depth friendships in this generation unfortunately

  • @simonbanthorpe266
    @simonbanthorpe266 2 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    Despite being an introvert with hardly any friends, this brings enormous comfort to me and seeing the comments from everyone makes me feel warmth that I had been convinced I wasn’t capable of feeling.

  • @Pooky-Cat
    @Pooky-Cat 2 ปีที่แล้ว +198

    Reading a lot of the comments here, all that I could say has already been said. I have been accused of being selfish and self centred for not wanting to socialise, made to feel that I'm odd but I'm obviously not. So a big thumbs up Natasha, and may your online, social network continue to flourish. Thank you.

    • @jilllindfield2187
      @jilllindfield2187 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I too have been called all the same things, I am like Natasha and her story is much like mine ❤️

    • @txspacemom765
      @txspacemom765 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Yes! It's a weird phenomenon. I was called a snob for a long time because I didn't partake. I am just an introvert!

    • @jilllindfield2187
      @jilllindfield2187 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@txspacemom765 yep, that’s a common thing for extroverts to think of us, and they get surprised when they get to know us….🥹🫣🙄

    • @txspacemom765
      @txspacemom765 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@jilllindfield2187 YES! I have been told "If only I got to know you better" by people who blew me off and then maybe came around after others were truly trying to get to know me.

  • @txspacemom765
    @txspacemom765 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    I was forced to be an extrovert my whole life. 5 years ago, I started become the real me. I am just an introvert, it's that simple. I am very creative, and it takes a lot of energy. I spend time reading, exploring, visiting places and recording my travels. Most of the things I do, like any art, sewing, photography, are very singular hobbies. When I was in school, I preferred to stay in at recess and help the teacher or go to the library but I was forced to go and socialize. I am now in my late 40's and I can be social when needed but I have a lot of down time, to recharge. I'm also a weirdo, as I don't know anything that is pop culture or current. I prefer old movies, museums, libraries, animals, being outside and moving around a lot. I can't do surface level friendships. I do not collect social media friends. I only have FB because I need it for 1 group for college, otherwise I would be done with it. I moved from Corporate healthcare to working in my passion field. It changed the pressure to be attached to the phone all the time. I'm not a drinker, party, going out with friends kind of person, never have been. I don't do drama, I am not looking to be the center of the party, I don't like fake friends or people. You are not lacking. You are you. Social media is not a true picture but people pretend it is. I refuse to live to work, I refuse to post everything about my life, every picture and selfie, that if it's not posted, I'm not worthy or doing anything. I move in silence and it's wonderful. Last night, I went to bed at 8:45, sometimes it's midnight. As you get older, you know what you like and not really bother with impressing others or worry about their opinions.

    • @NatashaNewtonArt
      @NatashaNewtonArt  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I love this!!

    • @mariaelena493
      @mariaelena493 ปีที่แล้ว

      Un gran beneficio de la adultez , temprana o avanzada , es cierta "impunidad" que nos permite elegir sin culpas , comportarnos sin remordimientos , seguir sin miedo . Y disfrutar de todas las horas (que a veces faltan) para nuestros propios intereses . Un amable entendimiento conmigo misma es reconfortante y abrazo mi pacífica y reconfortante soledad . Gracias por éste video y todos sus comentarios : )

  • @sueellens
    @sueellens 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    I’m an introvert! Im 61. Have very few close friends. In fact I had two “best” friends, now only one. I’m empathic, too, which means being in large groups for a long period of time is many times very difficult. I can go to a fair or a shopping mall, and I, too, am social and like being with people for short periods. I’ve been betrayed as well. I do enjoy being alone and quiet (well, quiet except for having TH-cam videos on!).

  • @michellemarie1956
    @michellemarie1956 2 ปีที่แล้ว +46

    Such a lovely video. I had to drink to get through a social event. I don’t put myself through that anymore. I am a loner and I completely enjoy myself without all the complications of friends and family.

  • @TheLittlePinkCaboose
    @TheLittlePinkCaboose 2 ปีที่แล้ว +111

    Yes I’m exactly the same way! So much of what you’ve said resonates with me! Thank you for doing this! ❤️

  • @erikaweihmayer4793
    @erikaweihmayer4793 2 ปีที่แล้ว +107

    I LOVE this video.. I’m exactly the same way and I can totally relate. I’m an expat from the US living in Quebec and I have acquaintances but no more super close friends. The only people I spend time with outside my husband and daughter (who is 6) are other family and the parents of my daughters friends. I’m an artist by hobby so I prefer spending the time I have off not with other people but that is my time for myself where I can paint. It’s nice to know I’m not alone and I was feeling guilty about this for a while. Your perspective soothed my soul (and I can’t wait to see more details about your new palette.. beautiful!)

    • @NatashaNewtonArt
      @NatashaNewtonArt  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you, Erika! I'm so glad that this video resonated with you. I'll share more of all of the watercolour palettes in my watercolour series over the coming months!

  • @rachelleandrichard
    @rachelleandrichard 2 ปีที่แล้ว +90

    I definitely need lots of time alone. When I was a young woman, I had lots of people in my life and was very active socially. Looking back, I can see that I was doing what I thought was expected. As I've gotten older, I realized that being around people for prolonged periods of time exhausted me and I'd experience burn out. I love the people in my inner circle. My husband and my children are also pretty introverted and we've taken the time to explain to our extended family what that means for us and how we are able to interact for small amounts of time with a small group of people. I too only enjoy meaningful one on one conversation. I can't stand small talk or gossip. It can get a little boring being alone and sometimes i do feel like company but the cost of being around others is too much for me. I don't hate people but I'm aware that the way I am makes me look very antisocial. I'm awkward in social situations too so feel self conscious. I have one good friend and a few good family members that I enjoy spending time with but it adds up to only a handful of brief occasions a year. I do love being alone but I'm rarely lonely tbh. I married my best friend and my now grown sons and grandchildren provide us plenty of stimulation and company. The one thing I wish I had was a creative friend or two. People who love art as much as I do. Thanks for starting this conversation. I enjoy your quiet channel. Rachelle, Australia xo

    • @annenglish2935
      @annenglish2935 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Thank you for sharing... sounds so very much like mine... your thoughts were comforting. I've had health issues but that isn't what changed me. God bless you, from a California Gramma ❤️

    • @NatashaNewtonArt
      @NatashaNewtonArt  2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Thank you, Rachelle. I'm so tired of people who thrive off of gossiping about other people - I have a couple of people like that in my life currently and I'm just so over it. I can relate to so much of what you've written here.

    • @corvus3513
      @corvus3513 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Same here. I felt that being social was required of being an adult to be labeled "normal". Now that I'm close to my 30s I realize it's my life and my happiness. I don't need to fit in. I just like to be alone with myself.

    • @bluemacaroons
      @bluemacaroons 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I feel so similar! I’m a teenager but this really affected me more when I got into high school. I didn’t realise how nice my friendship group in primary was until year 8 when things started going downhill. I tried to make friends with someone who was nice but very different to me because I had a stubborn ideology that it was possible to be friends with everyone. I ended up with really bad depression that made paranoid of all the friends around me because I just couldn’t find anyone I connected with. A few years later I’ve made some friends and reconnected with a few old friends, but I’d rather have good friends then loads of them. If I’m being honest I really like spending time alone doing things I like, but my family keep forcing me into situations where I’m really uncomfortable and can’t even defend myself because nobody understands. I guess it’s life so I have to deal with it, but after seeing how I end up after feeling completely miserable, I’m genuinely scared of losing my friends because of how paranoid I am. Hopefully I’ll get better but for now I’m trying to take it day by day

    • @JGSewell
      @JGSewell 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Man, I feel the same way. I have three good friends one that I’ve known since we were in the 3rd grade, one I became friends with my 12th grade year, and one other friend. My one friend that I’ve known the longest is the best but sadly we don’t get to really see each other much because we don’t live as close by as we used to. I’m so quiet and shy, and sometimes I feel like I don’t really have any friends and feel like my two younger sisters seem to have so many. Also, for me I could stay home all day and just paint or do something fun and crafty and I would be so happy. Now the three friends I do have I will say really are good friends of mine, especially the one I’ve known the longest. I will also say one thing I remember my mom telling me once when I was younger, which is actually something really good to remember is. She said when growing up you will always know who your true friends are, I also remember being told by someone else once that, it’s not about the quantity of friends you have but the quality of them. And I never really had thought of that before. So I guess that’s something good to always think about and remember especially when feeling down. But wow I feel/am the same way.

  • @debsllewelyn230
    @debsllewelyn230 2 ปีที่แล้ว +94

    What a beautiful, tender video. Thanks for sharing so much of yourself with us 🦄

  • @masjastengard3224
    @masjastengard3224 2 ปีที่แล้ว +80

    I have tears running down my cheeks because everything you say resonates with me. I am not on social media with anything else than my art, because I don't want to compare my life with the internet. I learned that it was toxic for me and made me feel sad and even more different than I already did. I too have a very limited group of friends that I see one at a time. And I still to this day, often feel that I do not fit in. Not that I in any way feel better than others....but just that I am different. But people never believe me when I say that I am an introvert, because I often make people laugh or tend to others needs. But I am. Very much so. And i do feel alone sometimes. But remember that there is a big difference between feeling lonely and felling alone. But my art helps me a lot. I think you are right, that with age (I am 40) it gets harder to make friends. But all we really need is a few good ones. Right? :) You are the best, Natasha!!!

    • @MelanieChadwick
      @MelanieChadwick 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I can so relate to what you have written. Thanks for sharing .

    • @shelleys.m.6999
      @shelleys.m.6999 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I too can so relate to what you’ve said 💝

    • @ethnyjane3248
      @ethnyjane3248 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      💕 Isn't it odd how attending to the needs of others allows introverts to find a small niche of comfort in the crowd?

    • @masjastengard3224
      @masjastengard3224 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@MelanieChadwick Thank you so much Melanie!

    • @masjastengard3224
      @masjastengard3224 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@sharonneth4231 Thank you Sharon. You are absolutely right. ❣

  • @acristastudio
    @acristastudio ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I'm an introvert that is challenged everyday by this busy and dynamic world we live in. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. Everything you said resonated with me. I also spend a lot of time alone in my studio, and enjoy only deep conversations and meaningful friends. One of the good things of ageing really is the freedom to choose only things or people you like, and to be able to say no to everything that is exhausting and meaningless to you.

  • @xxMrsHuntxx
    @xxMrsHuntxx 2 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    You’ve basically described me in a nutshell! Thank you for posting this, I don’t feel so much of a loner now! I have been hurt by ‘best friendships’ throughout my life and I’ve learnt that I’m happier with much fewer, trusted people in my close circle. As far as social media goes, I avoid Facebook like the plague and much prefer to belong to our little community here and on Patreon. I know that I feel happy and safe here among like-minded people. Thank you for being so honest in this video, it’s been very comforting to watch. Much love, Jo x

    • @elizabethwallace-donnelly.2356
      @elizabethwallace-donnelly.2356 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Me too... That's me....my friend a few but the ones I have are true ones.. I love this video.... I love my art...
      I adore my Boys.. And my Grandchildren....
      I love my life just as it is... 😘🙏

  • @missmishpot
    @missmishpot 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    You are SO normal! Sometimes it’s not even because we’re introverts. Studies show as we age, our friend circle gets smaller, but our quality of friends increases. This is especially true when you don’t have children to force you to befriend other parents (as is my case). This is a great video, but know everything you express is relatable and healthy. Sending love from afar and kudos for being in sync and authentic.

  • @ThePhoenixlad
    @ThePhoenixlad 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you sharing Natasha. I'm 100% with you and just like yourself. Ever since I realize how introverted I truly am, many years ago, and learned who I truly am as an introverted man, I limited my friendships and social life. I have just one really good friend. Living a single life with the bare minimum of social interaction has lowered my stress levels to almost zero and my quality of life has become heavenly. I always leave a small gap in the social door just in case a true friend wants to walk in. Being a single man, introverted and self dependant has given me the value of inner peace. My art gives me the solitude I love and the one friend gives me just enough interaction to feel included. Thank you again for sharing. You are not alone. X

  • @rachellyddon78
    @rachellyddon78 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Fellow introvert here, very much the same as you (although I did quite enjoy a party in my 20s, now the thought makes me shudder!) Small group of friends but very happy in my own company. I think social media does make it a lot easier, as you feel like you're getting social contact but without having to leave home or actually see anyone!!

  • @mnap1595
    @mnap1595 2 ปีที่แล้ว +47

    I'm standing awkwardly in the corner with you. You largely summarized a large part of my life and, I venture to say, many who likely follow you as artists. As you say, it's a lonely passion, unless you have others who are content to work beside you in quiet companionship. I think this is why I enjoy channels like this so much. I can listen to them while I do my own work while also feeling some sort of a kinship. I'm rambling now, but all that to say, thanks for sharing this as I think it will help others who have not learned yet how to navigate being introverts themselves. There's nothing wrong with not being a social butterfly, we're all different.

  • @debsmclaughlin6521
    @debsmclaughlin6521 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    I’m exactly the same. I love being alone and only have three friends! I could not manage any more lol! X

    • @heathermcdonald7354
      @heathermcdonald7354 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I am the same. I remember one day when I was out shopping up town, I came across a work mate and she said are you by yourself, I said yes she looked shocked. But I like shopping by myself, nobody holds you back and you can do what you want. You don't have to be with others to enjoy yourself🌼🌷🌼

  • @lilys4411
    @lilys4411 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    It's nice to know that I m not the only one that feels good on their own. I ALSO HAVE TRUST ISSUES

  • @PaulaScardamalia
    @PaulaScardamalia 2 ปีที่แล้ว +63

    I love the grace and courage in this video. I'm a social introvert who enjoys being with groups of people I know for a while, which is useful as a book coach and workshop leader, but I can only be social for a brief period of time before I have to seek out solitude and silence. Otherwise, I get impatient and short-tempered. I need stretches of quiet time to be creative, primarily as a writer but also with watercolors. And yes, I have a few close friends. Lots of people who know me (or think they do) but a few creative "sisters".

    • @NatashaNewtonArt
      @NatashaNewtonArt  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you, Paula. A lot of this sounds very familiar. ;)

    • @lonedoyle2018
      @lonedoyle2018 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Your comment about being impatient and short-tempered when being in a crowd for too long, really hit home with me. I work in retail and it has come to the point where I've asked my manager to keep my shifts under 6 hours. It's my absolute limit and I'm probably stretching it a bit too far

    • @PaulaScardamalia
      @PaulaScardamalia 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@lonedoyle2018 Yes, that would do me in. I can be oh so gracious and encouraging and helpful...to a point. Then, get out of the way and let me get back to my cave. 🤣

    • @Africa-ky1bg
      @Africa-ky1bg 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Pondering -~ what is a "book coach" ?

  • @bazutaartstudio
    @bazutaartstudio 2 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    All of this, 100% yes, totally me too. ☺️ and I have never had art friends at all until I started interacting with the TH-cam artist world. Thank you for sharing, I think a lot of us arty types are similar and feel like we are all weird lol

  • @micheleswiderski7080
    @micheleswiderski7080 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I absolutely love this Vlog Natasha!! I am the same and completely understand the comments so far. I think people are a little confused by me, because I am anything but shy, quite confident actually and I know myself well and my limitations and needs. I don't care to socialize in groups... but give me a thoughtful one-on-one conversation with almost anyone, any day of the week!! and loads of time to do my art. Yet, I love solo travelling because it's easy to meet interesting people... curious right? btw, I am 65 years old and an introvert (which I figured out 20 years ago during a serious bout of depression). Bless you Natasha for 'coming out' in such a gentle manner... you are blessing for my heart.

    • @NatashaNewtonArt
      @NatashaNewtonArt  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      That's very interesting, thank you Michele. ♡

  • @heartsongdaughter
    @heartsongdaughter 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Definitely resonate with your thoughts 💕. Total introvert… though oddly enough, my mom tells me that I used to be extroverted as a little kid before the age of 7, when some trauma happened, but I can’t remember that time at all. I just remember feeling strange and alone.
    As a kid and teen, I was totally unable to relate to anyone my own age, often finding myself getting along better with my grandma’s friends than anyone else lol. I would have been totally lost without her… she was my person 🥰. She understood me, always. Going to body-mind-spirit expos and reading spiritual books together with her was when I felt most authentic, aside from when I was singing or drawing. I think a lot of creatives are a lane unto themselves - which I love! There’s so much beauty in unique perspectives 🌟
    Like you, it took me many years to learn to speak up for myself, stop trying to be someone I’m not for the sake of feeling “normal” and just be honest about what I like. My idea of being social is going to have tea with a friend or going to a cafe and reading or doing my own thing among other people, or sometimes going to listen to live music in a low key setting. I’m an empath, so the energy of the place and people greatly affect me so I’m very careful with what I choose to immerse myself in.
    Like you, I also had some toxic friends that I’ve had to let go over the past several years and it’s caused me to have trust issues. I have 3 friends and all live far away. I’ve often thought I would like to find a friend that I resonate with that lives near me, but I’m also just trying to be content with what is… if it’s meant to be, it will be.
    Appreciate this conversation and your art in this video is lovely! 💖💖💖

    • @NatashaNewtonArt
      @NatashaNewtonArt  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      This is so interesting. I was particularly close to one of my grandmothers (the quieter one!) and I've always had friends who are older (In some cases, much older) than me. I'm so glad that this video resonated with you. :)

  • @cate7777
    @cate7777 2 ปีที่แล้ว +47

    Yes, I can totally relate to this. When I was younger I was described as "shy", painfully shy. I am better about this today. While I can tolerate crowds it is exhausting. My work as a medical coder is solitary and my hobbies of art, philately and fountain pens are also solitary activities and I can count my closet friends on one hand. It is all okay I think. Thx for sharing.

    • @MsShanarun
      @MsShanarun 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I haven't watched the video yet.... but I have been learning lately about persons being in social situations, and coming out exhausted. Not me, but it gives me a new perspective. I am glad that you recognize the source of exhaustion, and can check out (have your solitude.) Good for you.

  • @carinadannfors1044
    @carinadannfors1044 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. As an introvert I can totally relate. ❤

  • @zoepollock7010
    @zoepollock7010 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Im so glad you're bringing a light to this topic. We live in a world dominated by extroverts and are always seen as the odd ones out, or having something wrong with us, when there's nothing wrong at all, we're just different. I am an introvert with even fewer friends than you and am completely contented with that. Thank you for speaking about this.

  • @nancyhall4529
    @nancyhall4529 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I'm so happy to learn "i'm not the only one". At 68, I married and moved to his hometown. His group of friends are nice to me but the ladies do all kinds of social events but I'm never invited. When we do things as a group, they just talk about their adventures so I have nothing to add and remain on the edge. We live in the country so I don't have neighbors but I entertain myself well, I make cards, scrapbooks, read and cross stitch. The ladies do none of these, they mostly party and drink. My husband is always afraid I'm lonely, I'm not, I miss some of my old friends but I love him and where we live. I totally understand your feelings, nice to know there are others like me. Thank you!

  • @Chopanflores
    @Chopanflores 2 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    I spend most of my 20s making a big group of friends and being out every weekend. With years I realized that I was very afraid to be on my own and that having friends gave some sort of social validation… now im on my mid 30s, and I’ve cut most of my friendships either because of time or because of me having zero patience with attitudes and behaviors that now I see are triggering and toxic. What I’ve learned is that you can feel very lonely surrounded by many people and you can feel supported and loved on your own. I have friends and I love them but I love to say that I am my own best friend.

    • @NatashaNewtonArt
      @NatashaNewtonArt  2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I LOVE what you've written here, Francisco! Thank you for sharing. It resonates a lot with me. Particularly: "...zero patience with attitudes and behaviors that now I see are triggering and toxic". That is exactly how I am now. I used to be fooled in the past. I'm not fooled by people any longer. I see it and recognise it when they behave in this way and I have no time for it.

    • @maris5888
      @maris5888 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Bravo, this is a wonderful conclusion you came to.

    • @lorettawatkins5024
      @lorettawatkins5024 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Wow.. impatience with behaviors and attitudes... describes me to a T. ...I have lear my ed to say to myself,"I am better than this."

  • @no-ik2bm
    @no-ik2bm 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    thank you for this video... now i know that im not alone of having a very few friends. There is a downside of having a few friends tho... when those friends is starting to leave you or doesn't talk to you anymore and it'll leave you having 1 or 2 friends or possibly no one... this is hard because especially as an introvert, its difficult to make new friends...

  • @hayley7090
    @hayley7090 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Oh my goodness, this video was a breath of fresh air. Thank you for being so honest. I would consider myself to be an introvert. I work in retail and am surrounded by people several hours a day but I absolutely hate it. I don't really have any close friends. I have one person I've known since I was 16 (I'm almost 52) and we text occasionally but no one I would say I could talk to. I have definitely become more introverted as I've aged and am generally happy in my own company...though I must admit it would be nice to have a close friend to chat to sometimes.

  • @shirleygreaves9650
    @shirleygreaves9650 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You are just like me. I do have a few friends but only one that I see regularly and the others live a long way from me. I find I need time alone to create, I need to create something every day or my day isn’t complete. I find it hard enough finding time to keep up with my family, keeping up lots of friends too takes up too much of my precious time. Thank you for being honest and I loved watching you create while you talked. Take care. X

  • @brendabippes7065
    @brendabippes7065 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Your thoughts and feelings resonate with me. Thank you for being so open and honest. I am also an INFJ. Also introverted.I have 1 extremely close friend and several friends. I thrive having alone time. Also tried for a long time to change because I felt something was wrong with me. Im now 54 and am at a point now where I am embracing who I am. Living authentically . For a very long time I was only able to have online connection with my friends. I lived far away from them. Imoved back close to them a year ago. We still do not see each other a lot.
    My other friends have large group of friends and I don’t feel like I fit in them.
    In past year I’ve really grabbed onto my authentic self .

  • @Janet_scribbles
    @Janet_scribbles 2 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    Thank you for being so honest. It really helps others accept themselves.

  • @youbmine
    @youbmine 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    You are not alone. You could be describing me. Thank you for this post, elizabeth

  • @paintingtheskykingdom9005
    @paintingtheskykingdom9005 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    This talk was so helpful. I only came to these realizations later in life and had much to struggle through as I worked in careers that were very far from my need to be an artist and my need to spend time alone. I will book- mark this video to keep to play for others or to listen again and learn to better articulate my lifestyle needs that so those that seem not to be able to fathom my nature might better understand. I have even less friends than you as I too have difficulty with small talk and my interest not average it seems. (I had better luck once I switched to a field that was related to psychiatry and psychology as I met deeper thinkers in my coworkers, But I only realized I was an artist ( although I always fantasized that I could have the time to be one but had thought it was not possible) about a year before the pandemic and am working as a caregiver in a part of the city that is isolated so I have no friends at all currently, just acquaintances and the patients I care for. I have only recently had time to again focus on my art and have much to do as far as building my social media but I hope to gain some friendships with other artist. I may very well consider your patreon as It sounds to be a special group of people ( like you)

  • @tarabooartarmy3654
    @tarabooartarmy3654 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I can relate so much to this. I also have major trust issues because of how people have betrayed me, hurt me, abandoned me, etc. It does make it extremely difficult to have real friendships even though I really want to sometimes. But it’s also hard to not only find someone you can trust, but someone who understands your need for space sometimes.

  • @izabelacichanska5781
    @izabelacichanska5781 2 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    I'm glad that you're learning to accept you being an introvert and that you're sharing this experience online😀

  • @lindaswan9114
    @lindaswan9114 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Thank you for this gentle and loving video. In a world where we are constantly bombarded with images, comparisons, and superficial messages, it is encouraging to hear from others that they long for deep, meaningful relationships and life experiences. I am very much an introvert and relate to all you shared. Thank you! I wish you many blessings.

  • @garydmercer
    @garydmercer 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    To me, the quality of my friendships is more important than the quantity of my friendships.

  • @joannnulmer9060
    @joannnulmer9060 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I would say I’m an extroverted introvert. When I’m in a social setting I’m affable and talkative with everyone. I dislike quiet in social situations, but oddly prefer quiet and solitude in anything else. I have a close group of 7 friends I’ve known since my childhood. We are a friend group cumulatively, and We’ve stayed close in all ebbs and flows of life. How “close” we are and who we lean on independently within that group can change depending on our own personal current experiences, but there’s no envy and very very little infighting. I don’t feel the need for more friends, and I no longer actively seek friendships. And while we have active communication over text chain, we don’t see each other more than once every month or so. The time that I have to myself is precious, though/ and I feel that I need that solitude and quiet to keep my spirit thriving. But I couldn’t live without my friends and the value they bring to my life. We often joke that come senior citizen time we will pool our money, buy a property and live together like The Golden Girls.

    • @peteinuk
      @peteinuk 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I agree I am very social in public, very funny - people say - but I can only be with people for a while but then I need to retreat. I like to be alone. 80% I need to be alone. Helen x

    • @KoolKookyKreatures
      @KoolKookyKreatures 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      This is how I see myself too. I have very few close friends and love my own company but when in a social situation I can be social and interact with others quite well but I feel that it is more “acting” social than feeling social. Rowan Atkinson is a very private and introverted person but can act extremely well for stage and screen. This resonates with me so much.

    • @Africa-ky1bg
      @Africa-ky1bg 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      When you become senior citizens ...
      That sounds like a WONDERFUL idea ...pooling your money together & buying a larger home & living together...you could live like Queens ~ Goddesses. A media room for movie nights, an English garden, a library, an exercise room - hire a sexy male trainer, a swimming pool, a detached mother in law apartment - for when you needed meditation time, absolute peace & quiet or time alone. It would be heaven on earth. I wish I felt THAT close to THAT many women to do that !

  • @CajunSunshineCrafts
    @CajunSunshineCrafts 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    As an introvert myself, and my partner an extrovert, I would feel guilty not wanting to "go out" everyday as he wanted to do. He would get upset and it even caused a few breakups but he always came back. Now I am more secure with myself to just say No and NOT feel guilty. It is perfectly normal and healthy. He has come to accept me just the way I am and we both respect each other for it. Thank you so much for validating our existence and jut reinforcing the fact that yes, we are all normal in our own right! Beautiful artwork as usual!! (I am LOVING the A. Gallo paints!) ❤️

  • @artbyduck-darlenegillet1935
    @artbyduck-darlenegillet1935 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Natasha, I am in the same boat that you are in. I am an introvert, and I prefer being alone most of the time. I have a small handful of close friends, and one best friend who I will spend time with mono et mono. Occasionally, we will have a small group of friends over, and they all understand that I am an introvert, my husband is an extrovert, and I will eventually go off somewhere quiet (usually my studio) because I will get over whelmed. And I mean that I do get overwhelmed. When I was a girl in my twenties, I would go out to the pub or a bar and I would sit and people watch. I didn't interact much, I would just sit and watch. I am sure you understand this. Thank you for telling us watchers about yourself. It is good to see that your art allows you to reach out to others so we can see what you do. I love your channel. I love you art, and the way you present it. Cheers.

  • @judymorgan6271
    @judymorgan6271 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    You are wonderful as you are. Acceptance of one's self is important in life. You have a peace of mind when you know who you are.
    I too, have few friends now in my life. I learned early on you must identify people in two categories: those that contribute to your spirit and those that contaminate.
    Friends that are with you the longest are so dear.
    I love your art! Your spirit.

  • @kellyvargas6986
    @kellyvargas6986 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Once an elderly woman said to me that you can know many people during your life but true friends you can count on one hand.

    • @jmk1962
      @jmk1962 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      So true. You can have lots of 'acquaintance' friends but usually only a few 'true' friends, the ones who if you phoned them in the middle of the night needing help they would jump in the car and come round immediately. They are the ones who really count. The rest are 'fair weather friends' who like seeing you but kind of forget about you in between those encounters.

  • @janeb9699
    @janeb9699 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Oh I can relate to so much of your commentary! I always thought I was weird because I preferred quiet and spending time alone. I never have felt at ease in a large group of people, and the more loud and obnoxious behavior there was, the more I couldn’t wait to escape the situation. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and reminding us we are not alone 😊 and your artwork is lovely ❤️

  • @tonyamiller8418
    @tonyamiller8418 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This was so nice to hear. There are many of us out there! I’m currently delving into my music and art as never before and letting go of the occasional “maybe something is wrong” thoughts. I’ve found a couple of other channels that illustrate people living similar lives. I think it might be a gift. Thanks again for sharing (and your lovely art episodes!)

  • @violetcat3618
    @violetcat3618 2 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    Thank you for this video, it is rare to see someone this honest online. I am probably world’s most extreme introvert, I just can’t stand being around anyone for any amount of time. People, noises and music really irritates me, but also I am so shy that I can’t talk to people like in my university classes I can barely talk to my professors, and I never ever talk to my classmates. I have no friends at all, and I am very happy this way. People find it strange, but I don’t really care. I have never felt the need for human interaction and I absolutely loved lockdown and was devastated when it ended 😂! I have never been able to relate to people my age, and I guess its because I am not interested in small talk or “normal” interests at all. I love fountain pens, watercolors, painting and many other forms of creative art but I have never met anyone IRL who was interested in that. It seems a lot of young people now are only interested in drinking and s*x, neither of which I participate in at all. So I have nothing in common with these people. I have never been to a party or a nightclub. My parents took me out to a bar with live music and I asked them when we could leave every 10 minutes because I just couldn’t stand loud music and flashing lights. I also don’t like modern music as most of it seems to be dirty rap words and no talent, and I don’t like most modern TV shows, especially ones that “girls are supposed to like” as they all seem to be about drinking, dr*gs and s*x. The feelings I get after trying to watch such a show is disgust and disappointment as most of the characters seem to be so miserable. Also I really hate almost very celebrity. So I have nothing to talk about with other young people (unfortunately no one wants to discuss the shading and sheening properties of fountain pen ink with me 😣). Anyways, to summarize I’d rather be home chilling with my cats! I spend all my free time drawing with my favorite cat by my side, and I would pick this over any activity with any person! Sorry for the long comment, I never write TH-cam comments, but just couldn’t resist commenting here.

    • @PlanYourOneLife
      @PlanYourOneLife 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Maybe you could join a fountain pen FB group?

    • @hispoiema
      @hispoiema 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Have you ever read the Bible? Times have changed through much through the decades - maybe you would find something more to relate to in ancient writings of the Creator.

    • @theuntroddenpath
      @theuntroddenpath 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I was devastated when the lockdown ended too. The world is too busy, too noisy. I relate to what you said about your university classes. I was exactly the same way but not because I wanted to be rude. I just never quite found a common footing with these people even though we were studying the same thing. :/

    • @janeleverett3128
      @janeleverett3128 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Loved your comments Violet Cat! Very honest, like Natasha. We're all different, & why not?! I don't even know who the celebrities are, when they're mentioned on TV! They' re just a bunch of shallow, hollow, human beings anyway; & who cares what they're doing? Keep being you! 😊❤

  • @kuggsbuggs
    @kuggsbuggs 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Amazing and brave video to put out there. Personally, as a people pleaser from childhood, I love my own company and that is where I am the most ath peace and my truest self. But I also really love being with people. I guess it’s got something to do with the people pleasing element, because while I prefer being alone I do enjoy the company of others because it does give me a rush of energy. However it does drain me. I think it’s a combination of both introvert and extrovert I guess. I’m so happy for you that you found your harmonious friendship number and I’m sorry for any hardships in past friendships that you’ve had.They can scar you very deeply for a very long time

  • @AKCaraboo
    @AKCaraboo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I completely understand. I’m an introvert with just a few close friends. I force myself to be extroverted at work and am often exhausted by the effort at the end of the day. Art helps. Things like your videos also help. It’s like having a no pressure friend…you check in, see how they’re doing, leave a comment if you want…thanks so much for the videos!

  • @tamerajones6470
    @tamerajones6470 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I am so like you and I am greatful to hear you put into words that it is okay to own my disposition. In a few days I'll be 76 and still wonder what my "problem" is! At this age, one should be accepting of themselves. I must be creative every day, but I do not need to make contact with another person for many days. Hearing you has helped me and I thank you. Creative in Texas

  • @7WordsWorth
    @7WordsWorth 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    That's odd! It seemed that you were the voice in my head my entire life. Thank you for your transparency. You popped up today from the algorithm and I am so thankful as I love to dabble in watercolor, among other things. I enjoy people and hanging with my family, but I feel a true sense of peace when I am alone, creating. Hopefully one day, my full time job will be as an artist. I have one friend, which I am thankful for. By the way, I love the color of your nail polish. Your art is such a great discovery on YT.

  • @gathercreatelivewithleslie8340
    @gathercreatelivewithleslie8340 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Same here, I can spend weeks only seeing my son and husband, sometimes not even going out of my home. I do enjoy chatting with someone for fifteen or twenty minutes then I'm good. I have a close friend that lives in another state, we talk once or twice a month for like an hour. I think I would love to be in a building with other creatives, still working alone and just seeing them on the way to the bathroom, lol. I think as introverts we are happier than people that are seeking friends and other peoples attention. My husband is much more of an introvert than me, but because of work has to spend his days with people. He is absolutely drained when he comes home.

  • @TT-fn1xb
    @TT-fn1xb 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    What a brilliant video. Thank you for giving a voice to the experience of others.
    In big groups, I'm very introverted but amongst my friends and family, I'm much more of an extrovert. I never feel I fit in in groups but amongst friends, I feel I can be silly and playful and strange because they accept me as I am.
    I prefer deeper conversations and hate surface level conversations. I prefer quiet and nature and contemplation and observation to the noise of groups. I feel like im neither an introvert nor an extrovert but a blend of the 2. And as I get older I'm much more comfortable with that and feel less and less need to 'fit in'.

  • @nicolawilkinson9079
    @nicolawilkinson9079 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    You certainly have found your people! How brave of you to make this video and how vindicating to see how many people, including myself, you have made feel good about themselves. 57, full time artist, extremely socially challenged :) The older I get, the more I cherish peace and quiet and the company of animals over people. Love your painting too :)

  • @user-22-
    @user-22- 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Wow, you are describing very much of how *I* am❗️ I don’t get *why* the majority of people feel the need to constantly ‘chase’ action. I think ‘we’ are just deeper-minded people & that makes you more solid & calm(?). Who knows, it’s just comforting to hear there are others like *me* ❣️

  • @bbqmamag8287
    @bbqmamag8287 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you for expressing your feelings and allowing other people to feel courageous enough to realize they are ok too! I’m 59 and have felt the same way of not quite ‘fitting in’…..my entire life until very recently I have tried, but have realized I actually like myself very much and really don’t feel the need to explain or justify to anyone anymore. I have one friend that I’ve known for 50 years and consider her more my sister than friend. I love spending time finding new ways to become more creative and learning new things. Pets are also lovely to connect with as well….that is truly unconditional love 💗

  • @Chillvibemike
    @Chillvibemike 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    It's like you describe my life. At 50 I'm becoming more and more of an introvert as I always know I was. in my younger years, this was not the case at all, but I always like "me time" more. Thank you for this video!

  • @melodieviljoen3924
    @melodieviljoen3924 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    What a relief to listen to you tell your story. I always knew there were more people like me but it helps to hear it said out loud. Beautiful artwork.

  • @laurajane1900
    @laurajane1900 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I can totally relate to everything you’ve said in this video! I’m the same, I have to have my own company and my own space, I have social anxiety general anxiety and I am incredibly uncomfortable and upset in busy, loud places. I think that’s part of the reason I love art so much because it’s my own private quiet time

  • @jasminhembrow9400
    @jasminhembrow9400 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hi i don't have a lot of close friends as well. So it was good to hear your story. As you get older friends come and go. It's good to have three good friends and the rest let them come and go. That's a healthy level for me.

  • @sonyaoart
    @sonyaoart 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I’m grand going out dancing or to concerts as long as I don’t have to interact with anyone. Or at least I used to be, before the pandemic. I guess even as introverts, we’re all a bit different.
    Thanks for making this video. It’s nice to find a comment section full of fellow introverts 😊

  • @CherylWilsonArt
    @CherylWilsonArt 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I do resonate with your story! I have really one friend I talk to often! So many of my friends stopped being friends because I did not want to be as active in the relationship as they were. I just chose to try to stay close to those that understand introverts and love me where I am comfortable. It is not that I don’t love them, but I am just one that is quiet and withdraw a lot ! I also have a you tube channel (abstract art) and enjoy those I met online where we can talk about art! Nice to met you!

  • @eileenreillyarts1229
    @eileenreillyarts1229 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I used to have a lot of friends. I make friends very easily even though I am an introvert. It helps having a career in the arts because you meet many like yourself. However, Covid really made me aware of how draining it could be (plus I have a significant heart issues so catching Covid would be bad news). And I've also had some bad past relationships that were very one sided or with very competitive types. I've moved back to my home city and even though I have a lot of friends here I rarely go out of my way to see anyone anymore. I have a few close friends, one especially that we generally do some form of pep texting each day. I like my own company too. I also spent years without a significant other so I was used to it and travelling alone. Now I'm better at saying no or just not getting into a situation in the first place that makes me uncomfortable and feeling like I have to be polite and go through the motions. Now it's mostly myself or myself and my husband.

  • @juleeahlman
    @juleeahlman 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I found you because another You Tuber said what a calming voice you had while swatching. I'm so glad I found you. I so admire your honesty and ability to put yourself out there. Its very admirable, especially in this time of social media and people trying to appear as something they aren't. I'm an introvert as well and my family says I "isolate", like it's a bad thing. I've always needed lots of time to myself and have always been creative. I can loose all track of time and space when I'm in 'flow'. I had years of alcohol abuse and other addictions trying to fit in and feel comfortable in my own skin. Now, at the age of 65, I know who I am and don't apologize or try to change myself so others will like me. I have 2 very close friends that I see a couple times a month, but even when I'm with them, I'm glad when our visit is over. Anyway, I just wanted to say how much I admire your honesty.

  • @CreatingCuteArt
    @CreatingCuteArt 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I just love you and this is one reason why. You are just so real, so calming, watching your art process just makes me happy-it makes me want to paint! You were (ironically) one of my first “Art friends” because you were one of the first YT artists running on my iPad while I painted in the pandemic. Thank you! To your Q: I’m an extrovert, but I also have three best friends (two of whom live distant), and an introvert husband who is the ultimate best friend. I love learning about introversion as part of loving and living with an introvert. If you haven’t read the book Quiet, you might really love it! It helped me understand him much more thoroughly. ❤️🤗👍

  • @SaraEFR74
    @SaraEFR74 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    HI Natasha, Thank you so much for sharing this video today and your thoughts. I too am an introvert (but was pretty much forced to be outgoing most of my childhood and teens). You are right - the older we get the easier it is to speak freely about who we are and what makes us happy. I have a small but close group of friends who, because I have moved to England, I don't see anymore, except for video chats. I miss the closeness but I am also can't seem to make friends here. It is lonely. I have my partner , son and some family members that I do things with, but I miss my girls. As a fellow artist I can relate to how our art can consume us - I am happiest when painting and can quite easily disappear (happily) for days and not see or speak to a single soul. Never apologise for who you are xxxx

  • @yuikoh.9905
    @yuikoh.9905 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you very much for sharing this video. I felt so healed this morning listening to you. I am exactly, exactly the same. I have three best friends: one from middle school, one from university and my husband. I see my husband every day, of course, but I don’t see the other two very often. (And one of these two passed away last year from accident.) But I am so happy to have them in my life. I like people and I am a curious person but I need to be in a small happy world of my own to protect my soul.

    • @NatashaNewtonArt
      @NatashaNewtonArt  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, Yuiko. Sending love.

    • @yuikoh.9905
      @yuikoh.9905 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you very much. I am so sorry too.

  • @mrspock2al
    @mrspock2al 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Natasha, thank you for sharing your thoughts. In many ways, you could be describing me.

  • @Starkravingsober2020
    @Starkravingsober2020 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I already adore you, but this video just further enhanced my opinion of you. Thank you for speaking up for all of us introverts. In the past I have tried to "conform" and all I ever accomplished was making myself miserable. I'm learning its ok to march to the beat of my own drum but am still often filled with self-doubt and left thinking "whats wrong with me"? Despite being an introvert, I do like people and enjoy the company of some and many people seem to really like me....and yet I really don't have friends either and really don't know why. But to be fair I often decline invitations because I get social anxiety but truthfully I also decline because I very much enjoy my own company. I have the most fun with me. I like me most of the time. I get along with me. But I do also think that makes me odd and sometimes resent myself for it because I think I must be missing out on something. I don't know...I'm rambling but throughout your whole video I found myself nodding my head and saying "me too". So thank you for so eloquently sharing what its like to be "us". I wouldn't want you to change a thing about yourself...you're gorgeous, intelligent, thoughtful, wildly talented, and your videos always make me feel really special. The way you present and share your work feels incredibly intimate in a way that always makes me feel lucky to been a witness to it. You somehow make me feel important as if you are trusting me with something very rare and special. Yes, you have a gift. But the way you share your gift transforms you into the gift for the rest of us. Thank you for being Natasha Newton. We need more Natasha Newton's in this world.

    • @NatashaNewtonArt
      @NatashaNewtonArt  2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thank you for such a kind comment! It's amazing how many of us feel this way - I'm going through the comments section this morning reading all of the responses and I'm blown away by how similar so many of us are. We're definitely not alone in feeling like this! I really appreciate your comment, thank you again.

    • @lpadgett23
      @lpadgett23 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you both

  • @crystalipock9725
    @crystalipock9725 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I just saw this today. I appreciated this so much! I crave my time alone and also have few treasured friends that I have very close friendships. I am happy that someone else shares my joy of blossoming during that alone time and appreciating how it helps me grow as a person and an artist (newbie) in the last few months. Thanks so much for sharing this part of yourself!

  • @DemiLulu
    @DemiLulu 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    100% relate! I think a lot of it stems from my childhood where we were not allowed to have friends to come round to play, and our parents not having any friends either. I was a child with a very outgoing and boisterous personality, and I don't think my parents knew how to deal with it after having a very quiet and insular set of twins before me. As a result, I was told to be quiet ALL the time, so I basically grew up with a personality that I wasn't born with. It's affected me in many ways that I only really discovered 40+ years later.
    Since getting older, and moving away from my very small group of trusted friends, I have made no new friends in a new country. I did try hard for the first few years after moving here to make some connections but none of it stuck. Partly due to culture differences, having no kids, small town living, etc. It was worse than dating and such hard work. I have much better connections with people online, but probably if faced with having to meet up in person I'd make up an excuse and back out of it just to avoid the experience and stress of it all. I used to go through very deep bouts of depression from loneliness during my 20's through mid 30's, but now I am used to it and it doesn't bother me anymore. I probably annoy my husband by talking too much some days, but he puts up with it. ;) I didn't find Covid lockdowns a problem since I had prepared all my life for it. Hah!

    • @coloredcarol8074
      @coloredcarol8074 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Same, I was fine and dandy doing my paintings and watching Netflix during lockdown whereas the pub crowd here were going crazy.

    • @bubblemonkeyx
      @bubblemonkeyx 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I only recently realized this about myself. My parents didn’t have any friends (looking back I think they were both exhausted and depressed) and whenever I tried to have friends come to our house, my parents acted very annoyed and put out. So I just stopped having friends over and spent time by myself in my bedroom. And of course as a kid if you stop having your friends around, nobody wants to be friends with you. It was a vicious cycle. I was shy to begin with and still am. Now in my 40s I have zero friends. The only people I speak to are my coworkers (because I *have* to!) and husband.

    • @SN-sz7kw
      @SN-sz7kw 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I too am an expat. I retired during the lockdown & am feeling a bit pathetic and isolated. But I have chronic pain & fatigue & just don‘t think I have the stamina to nurture new relationships. I am a true introvert as well, so there‘s that! 😂

    • @DemiLulu
      @DemiLulu 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@bubblemonkeyx We have such similar scripts. Because of my personality being beat out of me I became extremely shy and still am now. I can put on an act and look outgoing and friendly, but deep down I just want to stay at home forever.

    • @DemiLulu
      @DemiLulu 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@SN-sz7kw I hear you! I have developed long term chronic illnesses so the idea of having to explain it all to anyone just puts me off and would put off any new friend, I am sure!
      It does make you feel even more isolated and pathetic in another country, doesn't it? No matter how long I have been here, it still will never be home.

  • @skylark...
    @skylark... 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I just found your channel. I am an introvert and have had experiences like you where it's left me with trust issues. I have a couple close friends that I spend my time with and a few that I see on special occasions and holidays. I spend a lot of my time by myself and people have a hard time understanding that it's something I truly enjoy and need to restore myself. I'm really glad I found your channel and thank you for sharing!

  • @olympicsys
    @olympicsys 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thanks for making this! It’s definitely relatable. I have one close friend that I’ve had for almost twenty years. We support each other with everything. I do often wish I had more friends, but as you mentioned, I can’t just walk up to them and ask if they want to play lol
    The fact that I’m pretty sensitive to sound and sudden loud noises makes going to places to meet people very difficult. I do my best, and I generally rely on my job to give that bit of social interaction that I need. Any other time, I’ll be found alone, working on my hobbies or listening to music

  • @lindajames7083
    @lindajames7083 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Natasha as I have gotten older and more secure in my skin I love myself and I love my own company. I am the happiest I have ever been and I rediscovered my art during covid so reconnecting with painting is wonderful. I love nature, my dog, my husband and silence. Us introverts are lucky in that we don’t need people, having said that I would love to have one or two friends who share my interests. ❤❤❤

  • @BeckyCarey1
    @BeckyCarey1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Love this authentic video💕. I am also an INFJ. Learning my personality type along with the unconditional acceptance and love I receive from knowing Jesus has made me very at peace with the way that I am wired and created. I believe as an artist being an introvert and enjoying alone time is a huge advantage for me. Along with preferring more time alone than being social, I am hyper sensitive to my surroundings (people, places, nature, etc) which I have found helps me interpret and express what I am sensing, seeing, feeling through my art. I feel like a conduit quit often, hope that made sense. I just want to say, do not try to change how you were created, you are beautiful just the way you are and very much loved. I am so happy that I found your channel and would love to be your online friend😁

    • @davidshepherd2722
      @davidshepherd2722 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thanks Becky 😊 I to am an Intrevert! And I seem that no one understands 😕 and I to hope too be friends, take care ❤️ David

  • @juanitamartino
    @juanitamartino 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hi, Natasha , I am more or less like you. I am very happy and comfortable in my home and with my family , but I feel a little awkward out of my comfort zone. I really enjoy your paintings, and also agree with you , when you said that your online followers become friends. I have a group of people following me that I have never met them in person , but consider them my friends. Keep on creating , you are great!

  • @chels2145
    @chels2145 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I'm the same, Natasha. I definitely want a more meaningful relationship as well. I tend to be a deeper thinker and internalize quite a bit. I'm also an emotional magnet (highly sensitive person). So I have to pace myself or else I will become drained. People do energize me but as the older I'm getting with five kids, I have more anxiety and bouts of depression. I've been weeding out many toxic people and seek a symbiotic relationship.

  • @Noitsbeckyy13
    @Noitsbeckyy13 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you for sharing, and being so honest. I relate a lot to what you said, I too am very much an introvert, have some trust issues, and value similar types of relationships as you. At this point in my life the quality of any type of relationship is far more important than the quantity of relationships I have. There is this quote by Anaïs Nin that I love “I can only connect deeply or not at all.”

  • @maxheadroom7687
    @maxheadroom7687 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Loved this Natasha, really resonated with me. I migrated some 30 yrs ago and left a couple of close friends in the UK who I still miss. Haven’t been able to make close friends here partly due to me really. I miss having relevant history with my day to day interactions and like you sometimes feel inadequate when seeing what people are up to on social media. This video was really well thought out and thought provoking and it was brave of you to open up about your experiences. Take care😘Max in Australia.

    • @catpawrosales4265
      @catpawrosales4265 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      This. I could have written it. Moved from the UK and a handful of close friends. I thought I did the right thing, that I'd one day fit in, but no go, and not from lack of trying. Social media is a saving grace for Some human interaction, and at the same time, it can be a curse.
      I don't want their fun, but I do want my own, introvert fun with introvert friends.
      All the best from Mexico.

    • @maxheadroom7687
      @maxheadroom7687 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@catpawrosales4265 thanks for the reply, interesting you experienced the same thing, take care, Max.

  • @janashe8600
    @janashe8600 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Natasha, what you shared really resonates with me. I too love being alone and have for most of my life. As a matter of fact all of my hobbies are done by my self and not with others.

  • @svenj9771
    @svenj9771 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Thank you for sharing this. As an introvert myself I felt/feel as an outsider quite often. It helps to know that there are others out there like that. That this is normal too in a world that seems to be made for extroverts

  • @maureenkyle2530
    @maureenkyle2530 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    100% agree with you, Natasha! I was in a team building event at work one time where the group was separated into introverts and extroverts. The facilitator asked each group what they would like to know about the other group. My introverted group wanted to know why the other group felt the need to talk all the time and verbalize any thought in their heads.. in short, why can’t you be quiet? The extroverts wanted to know why we couldn’t just express what we were feeling.. why can’t you speak up?. Ahhh.. there’s the crux of it. To me, sites like Facebook are populated with over-sharers… I don’t care what you had for lunch yesterday or that it’s the second anniversary of your cat’s eye infection. On the other hand, I LOVE seeing someone (like you) who genuinely shares their art and feelings. I look forward to you relating both so honestly on TH-cam and Patreon and am proud to support you the best way I can. Cheers to you, Natasha! ❤️ You’re a brave soul.

  • @SarahBurnsStudio
    @SarahBurnsStudio 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I totally agree with you about small talk. I would much rather have deep, meaningful conversations more than surface level interaction. I too have very few friends, and most of them live very far away. Having an online community helps not to feel totally lonely, but I still need personal interaction once in a while to feel whole. Being an introvert doesn't mean you always need to be alone. It's just a different way of seeing life! I love hanging out with other introverts because they totally get it :)

  • @RainbowLane
    @RainbowLane 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Oh my goodness - ditto everything you’ve said here. Just before this popped up in my feed, I had just sent an email to someone trying to explain how I am, because I am dealing with her at the moment. It’s so difficult because I’ve always been a loner who likes a very few close, genuine friends but it can sometimes come across all wrong and I can seem aloof. I’ve masked a lot throughout my life to ‘fit in’ but I now find it far too exhausting and would rather just tell people how I really am. My husband is absolutely brilliant - we can be in the house in our own worlds for hours on end just knowing we are there for each other without any ‘noise’. Thanks so much for this video. Lovely work too - very relaxing to watch.

  • @sharontree7272
    @sharontree7272 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I would not worry about lacking the social life, when time alone is what you actually love. You sound like my twin that I never met

  • @78shinystar
    @78shinystar 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you so much for this video, this has made me realise that this is me. I love my own company, my hobbies are all art/craft related & I love to have my own space, be it a chair by the window to read, the garden to listen to audiobooks or a desk for art/colouring.

  • @lzal9204
    @lzal9204 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thank you for sharing. I’m an introvert and can totally relate. Now that I’m older, I find that I’m more honest and don’t care to please other people any more. But I have always been the type of person that doesn’t mind going somewhere alone. I have a demanding job that requires me to care and give a lot to others and I find myself drained at the end of each day. Art helps keep me grounded. I have one close friend and a friend from high school who lives far but we message often. I really don’t love going out to clubs or anything like that. Many years ago I remember going with a group of women that I knew to Las Vegas and we were in a club and I thought to myself, “why am I here?” Lol 😂 it was awful. I wouldn’t say that I’m lonely, though I spend a lot of time alone. I’m very distrustful of others and find many people to be very self-serving and selfish. I honestly enjoy being alone now and not having to deal with other people’s drama. I have no desire to find a romantic partner anymore. I don’t want to have to deal with caring for anyone else. It sounds awful, I know. But I prefer to live in peace.

  • @robertweinblatt2018
    @robertweinblatt2018 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I think not having too many is the better way for me because people are rough sometimes! Art is my best friend(my dogs too)I’ve been accused of being a hermit as I also can’t stand more than 2 in a conversation at once!.I’m so glad you’re talking about this because some people call it lonely or empty but for me ( like you) I really exactly the very same way in my need and desire for company and mingling and for this reason I also don’t really socialize or trust a lot of people unless they make it impossible for me to not trust them! My very best friend passed 3 mos ago and it was and rough as there aren’t too many I knew and loved as much as her! I think as artists we don’t have a huge hole inside to fill inside as the creativity and pleasure fills all those holes and don’t leave a lot of room for others. I could go on and on and I’m right there 100%🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

  • @mariram
    @mariram 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    As a neurodiverse introverted immigrant I am proud of having one good friend (we live in different countries though). Anyways I prefer animals. I don't ever feel need to spend time in an environment with other people around. It drains my very little energy completely.

    • @NatashaNewtonArt
      @NatashaNewtonArt  2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I love being around animals. Far less complicated than humans! ;)

    • @tanyarace1767
      @tanyarace1767 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I am exactly the same, immigrant in UK, neurodiverse, introvert, really don't feel like I fit in. One or two friends.... pressure from outside world is enormous, expectations.... I like my peace and quiet...more and more.....

  • @cslattfri
    @cslattfri 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you for posting this..... I, too, am an introvert. Being in large groups drain my energy. I never really connected it to being an introvert so I appreciate your perspective.

  • @MissCarol-gb3
    @MissCarol-gb3 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Thank you so much for sharing with us!!!! I would probably be considered an extrovert by my friends however…I am somewhat of a hobbit…I live in the environment of my church family…and have many lovely friends ,but like you…only a handful that I am close to. For me, the perfect get together would be a Very small and quiet one with lots of laughing . I hope I have not totally confused you…lol…love and smiles in Jesus🥰 P.S. I have introverted friends….and Tho they do not speak as much as others do, when they DO speak…I listen because I know they have thought about whatever they are about to share…in short…my opinion is that many introverts are deep thinkers.

  • @lindakazel4273
    @lindakazel4273 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Natasha, your honesty is refreshing. Your story of your struggle for finding friends is mine…exactly. I’m 74 and I’m a notorious, lifelong “loner.” I was an only child in a dysfunctional family who grew up avoiding the chaos with my art and my books. This carried all through school, university and is true today. I have two dear friends from high school, one in Florida, one in Washington DC. We talk via phone every day and it’s joyful and happy hours spent. We see each other once a year. I recently made a new friend who lives an hour away, the first in many years. Our mutual wry and humor filled outlook on the world is a perfect fit and our love of art just makes it all better. So, this is how we “practice” our lives with,I hope for both of us, few if any regrets. Thank you from my heart for your courage in sharing both your life story and, as always your very special art.
    ~Linda

  • @kriksis
    @kriksis 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Dear Natasha! thank you for being so open and speaking about it! I resonate to a lot of things you said. In teenage years I had some toxic friendships. I think I have been introvert my whole life, but now living quite far away from my couple of Latvian friends I miss the company I had before.

    • @NatashaNewtonArt
      @NatashaNewtonArt  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I can imagine how much you must miss your Latvian friends. x

    • @kriksis
      @kriksis 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@NatashaNewtonArt thanks Natasha!

  • @primaonice1886
    @primaonice1886 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you Natasha, I'm listening while I'm painting. Makes me confident and relaxed at the same time.

  • @sharontree7272
    @sharontree7272 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    I wonder how many artists are this way. I know I am

    • @NatashaNewtonArt
      @NatashaNewtonArt  2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I think there are more than we know; I have a feeling it's quite common.

    • @SupraSoulStar
      @SupraSoulStar 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Art is created in those moments alone when you're enjoying your own company🥰

    • @debsllewelyn230
      @debsllewelyn230 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I am exactly the same way, good to know I'm not alone!

    • @MIOLAZARUS
      @MIOLAZARUS 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same💓

    • @jeanconneely3602
      @jeanconneely3602 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Fellow artist and introvert. Love my family when I can see them. And my grown adult children. I have my animals ❤️ 🙏

  • @heatherpoirier6597
    @heatherpoirier6597 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for this, wonderful video. I think more people feel like this than we think. Its comforting to know we're in good company.

  • @user-zu7gk9ol9f
    @user-zu7gk9ol9f 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Wow! Thank you for your bravery in sharing this! I feel so similar to what you describe. I have found that making new friends is more difficult the older I get. And friendships are not like when I was a child or even like the friendships I had in my 20’s, I think in part because our interests change and we get busy with family, raising children, our careers, etc. I think its great you are enjoying your online friendships! I enjoy mine and find them fulfilling, except for that I love to meet out and hug my friends at times… this I miss! Thank you again for your honesty and vulnerability in sharing! Btw- I love that pale aqua! Is it a mix of yours?

    • @NatashaNewtonArt
      @NatashaNewtonArt  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you! The pale aqua is in the A Gallo 'Blues Palette', it's called Copper Blue. :)

    • @user-zu7gk9ol9f
      @user-zu7gk9ol9f 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you! It’s beautiful!!