This makes so much sense, everytime he ignores me I will start doing 100 jump squats, 100 pushups, 100 kettlebell swings, 100 burpees, 100 hip thrusts, 100 lunges, 100 crunches etc (alternating everytime)... Until every thought of him leaves my body 💥🏋️♀️. Sick of dating men that act like children and do not communicate.
Im mad because When we met I was over 200lbs.. now that he is going through some depressed moments and dont have energy for me.. Im sexy asf! and 170ish . 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️ I literally wanted to get in shape for myself and to better myself for him too. geez. now Im sexy and getting tons of others attention..but not his 😤😤😤😤😤 FML
It’s not nice from a man to ignore a woman, he just needs to tell her he is busy, or he does not have feelings for her anymore. Guys should be gentlemen.
Think of all the civilized ways he could explain himself. He could just start out by saying he knows what you want but he can't give it to you, in a way that signals he's receptive to your question, which should be: Why not? Are you seeing someone else? Should I be worried? He should then give you an honest answer, not a half-answer, a shrug or roll his eyes. But a lot of men come undone when the woman starts to cry and so they avoid the whole thing. Ooops! Did I use the term "men" here?
Julia Purdy believe it or not I had one guy say this... I wish him the best! If he’s mature enough to openly communicate like that he’ll find what he’s looking for when he’s ready! Not all guys lack empathy!
It's so simple if a man ingnores you, ingnore him for good , delete the number, sleep, eat and move on. It hurts at first but 3 or 4 days ur good to goo.
Man, I just wanna go on a girl's trip with all the ladies in the comment section. It would be a night of lit stories and conversations and revelations and lessons. What a bunch of woke, beautiful, smart, independent women. 😍🔥🙌
It’s not about the chase. If a guy “ghosts” it’s usually because he thinks he has found something better. Period. It’s not rocket science and there’s no hidden meaning behind his rude behavior other than discard. Move on. That’s why you don’t attach yourself--you begin to form expectations. Don’t expect shit and don’t give a shit. You’re a gold mine and can find someone else that won’t disrespect you.
@@sshuteandrew Don't inflate your worth. You have a piss-poor education. You probably make loads of embarrassing mechanical errors whenever you write a sentence.
What Ive never understood is why do people ignore each other? Are we not mature enough to show a small act of kindness and have enough respect for each other?
I think it’s in large part due to the instant gratification culture that comes with the wide use of internet and cell phones. People have become much more flaky. 🤷♀️ I hate it, but here we are. Maybe when this constant connection and instant gratification are no longer novel we, as a society, will begin to once again treat each other with more respect.
Just a similar case I have, today I'm a doctoral student. Sometimes I get a try because of the pain he put me through but I also remember that my academic level today wouldn't have been possible if he was close to me. This is because, each time I try to purchase a form for academic pursuits he would ask if I want to attend all the schools in this world as if I'm wasting money.
Omg same here. I was not very good in study, after a painful one side love story, I chose to study science, it helped me to work hard and focus in my study and not think about him.
Texting is a man-child's playground. I replied "who is this" to a grown boy I thankfully wasn't really attracted to. He thought he could dissapear and pop up a few weeks later with an after 8pm text. He told me who he was and I never replied. I use to think it was rude to not respond and was surprised at how good it felt to not respond. Brought a whole new meaning to the term self-respect for me. There's always the "test" you see how poorly they can treat you and the go-to method is ghosting and reapearing at some point down the road and it's ALWAYS via text. Never ever reply to a text from a ghost.
Oh yes. Treat him according to the way he treats you! Even if he didn't have the same feelings for you, even if he doesn't admit it, he will feel the bite he gave you when he ignored you. It's perfect revenge
When a man loves a woman, he can't get enough of her. If he's ghosting, he not only doesn't love her, he's a coward, to boot... out the door. Life is too short to date disrespectful men. 😏😉
Isn't there something wrong with modern day dating if women are being taught to have to "learn" what to do when a man ignores them? Why is there no video out there teaching men to have more open and honest conversations rather than ghosting the women they are dating? I mean I can do everything to forget about the guy that ignored me and move on, but I think there are more fundamental problems with society today if we are being mentally prepared for the person we are seeing to just vanish one day.
@@Mike-li2wr I do agree that people need to listen better (both men and women). However, if a man thinks he's not being respected/feel needed, then he should have an open and honest conversation with the person he's currently seeing, rather than "ghosting" her. Having a conversation about what's not working is also a form of showing respect for the other person. Disappearing without any explanation is the most disrespectful thing to do.
It's a logical conclusion but unrealistic. Not everyone is logical, respectful or emotionally mature. Not everyone is on the same page or same planet, lol
I have noticed in relationship I can get a little too needy/clingy.. So I used this method and it works for me. When he detach, I detach, When he gets silent, I get silent. And watch him start to open up.
That's all fine and dandy, to match energies, but when does it ever get real, when does it ever become open and passionate if both people keep holding back? I don't get it. What has happened to people. I'm old fashioned, I want it all, not hot and cold head games.
Ladies , my best advice is : make some exercise, join the gym and regain your power! We are all worthy and powerful! Do not expect men to treat us certain ways to feel valuable. And trust me , if you feel strong, look strong and empowered , nobody will mess with you. Love yourself first , and people around you will hesitate to disrespect you!
thats so true. thank you. i have a hard time with this because i am depressed while i date and i work on "my" depression but still its hard because my brain is overactive. and i want to avoid pain because i have enough pain right now. bless you
It’s scientifically proven that exercise is one of the best ways to generate a great deal of new neural pathways & brain power, as he discusses here. This is why it’s so helpful for ANY kind of stress🙏⭐️
Some men just want to ignore you as they want to feel important and chased after i have given up on people like that. This shows immaturity and confused personalities the person who can not decide on what is good for him doesnt deserve my time and love
@@juliapurdy3950 you maybe right and i really appreciate your straightforwardness however what kind of men decide moving back after they are kn a married relationship
@@mamgain85 your last sentence lost me. But people do learn and have change of heart if they're lucky. And it's more than luck... Self work is hard but as most good readers will tell, it all comes back to you and me. Let "them" be who they are. If you're still young you have time
@@juliapurdy3950 Thanks but i feel only a confused/indecisive person can do so. I feel these people should not get attached if they are not sure. Marriage is the last step of your decision of staying with a person if after marriage you are not sure and have if and buts and are contemplating you certainly havent choosen right and weighed things properly.
If a man ignores you he just doesn't like you , and most likely you don't even matter to him ... This is the rule , the other stuff is just an exception
But don't do it manipulatively, hoping he will see the error of his ways and come running back. And if he does come running back, don't expect any change. You're the one doing the soul=searching - a man like that never does.
The secret is to be full of dates! When one ignores you or stop showing up you have another five to hang out with. If he wants you he will have to make the effort and investment.
When he started ignoring me, I went back Playing basketball, I really love bball. I didn't know this. But it really worked. I made him less important in my life. I hit the gym. Meet friends. Watch my favorite movies.
And I went swimming, best time ever.. no more acking, no nore pain!! Just the energy flowing down in my veins, awakening my spirit, making me realize I am whole, there's nothing missing, he doesn't possess me, my pride is my strength; this man whom I love so much is what he is regardless of my love, Brian is right! Things we do to empower ourselves are the things that help us out!!
I started my MSc. It made me feel empowered and moved my mind away from the person who ghosted me. At first, it hurt me, but then I got angry, and finally, I felt sorry for him because I am more successful and honest.
I cut my grass today 😄...left my cellphone inside the house the entire time. It really works.. And I was able to save $40.00 by cutting the grass myself...
Whoa! I’m sorry, my takeaway here is that it costs $40 to have someone mow your lawn. Paid the neighbor $20 in May and haven’t had to mow the lawn once this summer. But also, good call leaving the phone inside. Sometimes I’ll put mine in airplane mode so I can still listen to music or a podcast. ❤️
@@nenamichelle Yes. I just paid $40.00 for the guys yesterday... I wish I had someone to come here and mow the grass for $20 or a friend who would do it for free.. 😆
I usually delete his number out of my phone. Out of sight, out of mind. That helps me not have the urge to text him or have a way of contacting him and if his numbers pop up then I will choose whether I want to respond or ignore it. It depends on how far away I am from the feelings I was developing for him. One time, I did this and 6 mos later he came back and called me and I didn't even know who it was. The number was foreign to me because I didn't have his number memorized, just his name that I inserted into my contacts, so when he called I was like, who is this? Haha! That was hysterical. That was also very genuine because I truly had put him out of my mind.
@@Quntah888 Absolutely! I had a friend tell me to do that and it has stuck with me for now on. I do that a lot of people. If they decide to call then their number will pop up. Good Luck! I have a guy I'm struggling with, too. So I just did it again. I tuck the number away in a drawer just in case, but I don't keep it on my phone. This cuts down on those sudden impulsive feelings to shoot out a text that probably won't be beneficial to me. It helps me maintain my integrity, too, plus it makes them wonder. I also unfriended him off of Facebook so he couldn't see what I'm doing in my life or you could just restrict him on some posts by making him an acquaintance and only posting friends except acquaintances if you really don't want to unfriend him, but just limit what he sees.
I do exactly the same. When they ghost, I delete everything but I never block them. Not on social media, not in my phone since this looks weak and as if you care. I just actively "forget" them. Sometimes they reappear as all demons do. I then text back, completely neutral and uninterested (as tho they are a random guy I know from work or whatever) and never ask questions. That's it basically. Example: the reappearing demon: hey sweetie, what are u up to? thought of you! me: oh that's nice, thank you! > that's it. no question, no further interest, nothing. Sometimes I ignore them and don't text back but this is childish. It is much better to answer days later completely uninterested and neutral. :-)
I do the same, delete number Once I was texting back and forth with some guy who’s number got deleted and when he asked me out I had to admit that I have no idea who he was 🙄🤣
It takes a while to adjust, I know from personal experience. But after a while you realize how much you were missing while you were tied to his apron strings. And the boredom of hanging around someone who is calling the shots...
The reason people get obsessive when they aren't receiving attention from their partner is because they have made their partner the source of their love and happiness. The source of love and happiness is never found in others. It's found within. When people practice on being happy with themselves and alone, they are not dependent on the actions of others for their happiness. So if a partner does something that may appear like they don't love you, it's easier to judge whether to be with them or not because your reasoning won't be coming from a place of fear. Your mind won't be clouded by the fear of being alone. So you'll be better able to judge if this person is someone that you should retain or let go of.
Absolutely! I don't know why so many people are afraid of being alone. I honestly have a better time doing things solo than with someone. If the right guy comes around, great but if he doesn't, I'll still be traveling solo and having a great time!
I loved you reaction, this is exactly what I was longing to hear and you did it so beautifully that I could not resist but copy each and every line of it all!! Bless you!!
I wish they would just be real and honest. Dont say your love me, act like you love me and then disappoint me. I cant. Being alone is better than being ignored.
In some cases it is because after the flattery and lovebombing, he is still not getting what he wants quick enough. So he pulls back after he feels the woman has emotionally connected hoping that his sudden withdrawal will turn the tables and get her to start chasing him so that she gives in to what he wants from her. Best thing to do is ignore back get further away. He needs to learn this is not what he can do to be rewarded.
Yes…. We still talk but not like we used to I used to know so many details from food and where he was going to now not that many details and I have brought this up to him as far as how quickly things change as far as conversation. He constantly has his phone. The 1st week amazing communication now when I bring it up here says I’m over thinking 🤔. I’m not u changed. I’m watching him closely cuz I’m not gonna get used. When I bring it up he tries to kiss no sir I want answer. Legs closed until I feel more secure and we r in a relationship sorry
I learned a LOT from my last “bad” relationship. My ex used to be pretty terrible to me with the ignoring. He just totally took me for granted. I did all the wrong, disempowering things. After the relationship finally really and totally ended, another guy asked me out. If I felt any kind of,”hmmm, where has he gone,(ignoring), instead of how I used to react, I totally did the polar opposite. Just did my own thing. I will never ever ever give my power away again for anyone. And it feels SOOOO much better to respond in this way.
I usually remove the text thread after I've seen hes ignored me, after hes read it. Then I remove pictures, I wait a few days if nothing his number is deleted. And within this time he still hasn't replied back I'm entertaining other men with conversations maybe go on dates, doing me. I dont deserve to be ignored period! And you gotta value yourself and know it's not starting off good if he is choosing to ignore you. Baby move on down the road.. And I know its Gods protection...
Don’t allow yourself to be ghosted! If he begins ignoring you, call and break up with him politely and warmly. Never ghost even when you think they deserve it. Men who like you won’t even fathom ignoring you for days, so end it when he does.
mine too... he was playing video games the whole day until i decided to text him. Then days later his excuse was “i didnt say happy birthday because i wanted to surprise you” like what lmaooo u can surprise someone and still say happy bday on their bday
Cause relationships Neva used to be like this..... men have changed so much and it’s all media and models... it’s like men thinking women go for black cock!,... ya no what am saying... then there’s ppl like this channel ( no offense am just trying to get a point across which is probably coming out wrong lol ) who make a fortune telling us how our relationships should be.... we are individual ppl the problem is we all been programmed.... it’s unbelievable really there’s not many genuine ppl out there anymore 💚
Apparently, most relationships fall apart so easily when love and time don't go in sync. Love speaks of time, and how we spend it makes the difference. How hard is taking a minute of your time to make one feel seen, heard, and valued? I guess everybody is dying to look for someone who can invest time for them more than anything. The truth is, love makes ways not excuses, for no one is too busy if they think you are worth it.
One "reason" my narc gave for dumping me was that I was "never home." I was home every night after work!! And I did have a second shift because that's what was available! And he's a working class guy! What he meant was, I wasn't at his immediate beck and call and he didn't trust me when I was out of his sight.
Wyeth Han this!! Speaks to me so much. You’ll notice who is the one that really makes the effort and who doesn’t. We’ve all got busy lives, but when something matters to me i make time for it.
Different times will come when a guy, or anyone or anything, ignores you or makes you feel bad. Understand now that your brain will get hooked on whatever brought relief so it is important to pick the right thing/action. In this case, do something empowering. LOVE YOURSELF THE WAY YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED. GIVE YOURSELF the happiness YOU deserve & choose. Those actions will become what your brain will automatically want to do whenever you feel bad. So don't sit around waiting for his reply to give you relief, or even wait staring at his picture. In life in general, don't binge on series or junk food, alcohol, joints, smoke, or anything you know is not in YOUR best interest so that your brain doesn't end up marking it as something good/relieving in bad situations you can't control....which life is full of.
This is absolute GOLD! I figured out this “anxiety” after I realised that the small amount of time I had known someone didn’t correlate with how much I thought I liked them. This is precisely what you describe. It’s a type of irrational fear that you are desperate to get rid of and will easily take the “antidote” of hearing from them or contacting them yourself. This knowledge of the pattern is absolutely brilliant and once you know it you can overcome it.
If he is a real man, he should let you know why he doesn't have time for you, just that simple. I am done with this kind of man. I don't even let this go this far if i feel he ignore me or i become '' the lamp in the corner'', to take when it is dark and put me away when there is light..I LEAVE! Because i can and i am more worth! I am 50 now, and can also feel very happy alone. I don't care. Who does he think he is? I have a lot to give, and i know i am an interesting and sweet person I don't need such a man in my life. Men become too lazy these days, they don't put any effort into this. Fine by me, there is the door, goodbye and move on, I am too old for this kind of shit............Well, maybe if he is Brad Pitt, i will reconsider..
I agree 👍 I honestly LOVE being on my own. I'm 51 now and like you I'm too old for this shit!! Just even thinking about my time & tears wasted over the year's wears me out and I need a nap 😴😴 But luckily I'm at the age now where it's One strike and your out!! 👌💪
My 1 year long exclusive guy (we have never even had an argument) hung up on me (for a very silly thing) 3.5 days ago, I got laid off of work while he was ignoring me, I texted that something happened to me and I need his support, he continued to ignore me, then 36 hours ago texted he would call tomorrow which was yesterday, he did not. My whole life has changed in the last 3.5 days and he has no clue. I don't feel ignored, I feel abandoned. I am already looking at jobs out of state and am feeling very done with men.
Deenpac, first let me ask that you ignore the person above who said “just relax...it isn’t that bad.” I hate when unempathetic people say shit like that not realizing that you likely feel as if your world came crashing down! You cant “just relax” while being in sorrow, and in your heart...its the worst pain ever. I just wanted to share that I empathize with you and am sending good vibes your way. I hope that time heels all and that your next job and relationship both bring you lots of joy. 💜
deenpac Deenpac, first let me ask that you ignore the person above who said “just relax...it isn’t that bad.” I hate when unempathetic people say shit like that not realizing that you likely feel as if your world came crashing down! You cant “just relax” while being in sorrow, and in your heart...its the worst pain ever. I just wanted to share that I empathize with you and am sending good vibes your way. I hope that time heels all and that your next job and relationship both bring you lots of joy. 💜
I needed this so much, thank you. I'm healing from dreadful narcissist abuse. I get triggered when I know a guy has free time but chooses not to spend it on me. I need to value myself more. I'm am shifting from lack to abundance.
That’s a hard part I don’t know if the person I’m dating is one.. 💁 it’s still early there only thing changed was communication He would tell me details and just little things that he will do throughout the day food and etc. and now he still communicates it’s just like how it was before but he told me that I was overthinking when I brought up about communication because I noticed a change after we had sex. So I’m taking notes cuz I’m the bomb. Also I’ve closed my legs I told him no more sex. I want to feel more secure and see if some things change b4 I continue
When a man ignores you, it clearly means he's found someone better. I know it hurts but it's time to move on from that man. Been there and done that. This has taught me the strongest language of self love
I would like to see more dating coaches in TH-cam teaching guys on how they should never EVER just ignore someone instead of discussing their feelings - or lack of feelings in this case. It just heartbreaking that they are so inmature.
It would be so nice if more men were graceful and mature and simply say, at least with one text, that the things are not working out and not leave women comfused/waiting...
I am an experienced woman as I am 66... so I can tell it is a very good advise...Do not loose your time with "idiots" if they repeat this behaviour... your time is precious...you will feel better alone than not well accompanied, take the responsibility on your life and first take the habit of being happy by yourself ... I like you Brian...thank you for my little sisters...
I'm still working on not caring but I still can't help but feel so sick and tired of being ignored by someone I care about. The first guy, I was with him for two years we were starting to plan our future together we both showed we were happy together and then he suddenly ignored me through social media, messaging, work, and at school. I was devastated, confused, and alone. The second guy, I was with him for a few months, he treated me like we were in a relationship, and then out of nowhere he ignored me. I was instantly triggered and felt so devastated and confused all over again like the first time. I still stayed with the second guy and let him do it all over again, on and off for almost two years. and each time I'd let the uncertainty of being ignored take control of me. Watching this video makes a lot of sense, it really is like a pattern. Luckily I'm in a better place now, it did take these repetitive experiencs to help me realize how important it is to value myself. Either way I'm really afraid of this happening again. I'm just going to assume most guys will do this and just stay away from them.
A week ago I've been ghosted with my bf. And i feel horrible about it. But moving on is the best option i can do. Having a vacation for a week to have self love and confidence again.
@@RadicalforGod still no... But I'm still doing no contact. Im busy for work and for other people and having some vacation at least in a day i can say to myself he never sink in my mind. He still checking my status in WhatsApp.
ann labs yeah usually they call if they are interested or not done torturing you. You did the right thing move. Especially if you know you did nothing wrong.
I guess, turn your brain off if you are dating or in the relationship or even better have at least 3 boyfriends so that way if one gets busy you can go to the next
While I’m being ignored, I’m placing my valuable attention and effort into the sock I’m knitting and my dog lying on the sofa next to me. Thanks for this valuable information and the great (as always) advice, Brian. Love your videos and channel👩🏼🐶
I wish I heard this last night! The guy I’m talking to didn’t call or text last night and I ran off to junk food heaven, and then got very angry with myself, definitely a pattern. Thank you for your insight and advice about how to replace the pattern and hopefully create a new pathway.🤞🏻
@Suzanne M How was the Hamburger? HE could be the Hamburger, so think about this next time and enjoy the Hamburger instead of beating yourself up. HE is the one who missed this all, not you sis!
THANK YOU Brian Nox. This is so incredibly true. I only recently found that getting lost in a hobby actually helped me reduce my anxiety and feel calmer about what you described. I was wondering why on Earth am I feeling so bad when this happens, and you explained it so well. I also think I associated being ignored with being punished, being wrong, or "too much". But none of that is true. Sometimes certain men cannot handle their own emotions and the really weak ones either have no emotional maturity to handle it well or downright use it to emotionally abuse or punish someone. Either way, I plan to distance myself and keep doing what actually feels good. I'd give a 1,000 likes to this video if I could!
When he ignores you ignore him then when he finally texts you tell him to F-off! Then block him and move on! Dont even bother explaining when they act stupid like they don't understand! They Know!!!!
This is so true. Late yesterday afternoon I was hitting PRs on my bike. After, I was walking my dog when I saw a gorgeous moon! I texted my "boyfriend" who was traveling asking for a brief call (wanted to share harvest moon). He texted a blunt relatively harsh text and I have not heard from him since. I am heading back to my bike and crank out some self created endorphins. I am creating not only great cycling numbers but a NEW neural pathway / habit to deal with potential stress! Thank you Brian Nox!
Communication matters in a relationship. When there is no communication or the man or woman is ignoring possibly they have choices. Don't force it. That is a sign they are not good for you. Relationship between adults should be mutual. Cherish yourself!!!
Brian, this is a clear and accurate explanation of an effective strategy I can actually use. I understand the concept of creating distance when a man “disappears,” but until now I hadn’t found a way to soothe the part of my brain that craves him. I think I’ll create new pathways with something physical (swimming and biking) and something creative (painting). I can’t thank you enough! 😘
@Carolynne Gischel Hahaha! I am a '' picture thinker'', so i can see where the creative painting goes... I think fireworks explode out off his b**t.....Well done sis! ;)
For me I’d like to talk with a friend who can understand my feelings when my loved one pulled himself away, he will told me in on the right path, thats will release some of the negative emotions try to laugh hangout with friends listen to music loudly dance as you can, make a decision that he is out of your brain 🧠 he will go out by time you ill feel perfect
I probably one of this lady you're talking about! If someone ignores me they're dead immediately to me!! That's why I never get closed to people unless am 1000,000% sure who you are!!
Great video. No sign of life = move on. Do your own thing. Stop waiting for him to call or text. I've been there and slowly I've disconnected and realized waiting for signs of life are a waste of time and energy.
"When a man ignores you..." oh good heavens who cares, we all know men flaky delicate flowers, that waste our time, and downgrade our lives (or at least that has been my experience ).
What ive been doing for a while now when i feel like this is paint my nails and drink tea while listening to inspiring podcasts like these. Then with time i start feeling better and start focusing on other things. ❤
This is very much true. I've had this happen over and over, to the point where it became a real problem and a part of my depression. It took me a good while of therapy and medication to start changing my behavior. Even so, it is still difficult not to go the same old "oh, validate me!" path. Its a struggle.
He does make a point, some of us panic if our date takes too long to text/message back. But then I keep on watching all these videos on how not to panic between texts or times when one's date seems to disappear. And I wonder, if I am working so hard to cope with the anxiety, then what's the point of even dating or even try getting into a relationship? I mean it seems to be harder to try to date, than to just stay away from dating all together. 🤔
If it bothers you when he doesn't respond tell him. If it continues he may not be the one for you. A guy who truly loves you will not purposely hurt you.
My favorite advice from you so far. Finally not someone saying what I should text him - the idiot who ignored me - but how to deal in a healthy way with that crap that seems to be a norm these days. Creating a healthy habit can only be beneficial. Not trying to control or change a situation that obviously should be left behind. Might be good to leave a thought here; ladies going on a shopping spree with the thought you are treating and focusing on yourself is not the best route. It will not fulfill you truly and will leave you in debt and the void will still be there after the adrenaline rush passes. Focus on things that add to your personal and/or professional growth; now that's more power to you!!!
@Carmen Braghetta You can go shopping and having a good time and take your mind of the guy that hurt you, just don't expect anything, then you're good.
@@asjeable Well, since he's talking about habit developing ideas, shopping might not be the way to go. Shopping when one is sad and looking for a distraction is not a good habit to develop.
Shopping-especially if you are hurt, stressed, or angry-is usually ineffective. If you buy expensive stuff, don’t use/wear it immediately. Put it in your closet, keep all receipts and look at it a week later. If you still like it and can afford it AND have use for it, keep it. If no, return it. Instead of buying stuff, consider treating yourself to a pleasant experience you can afford. A trip to the salon (hair, nails, facial, massage). Treat yourself to a favorite meal and entertainment (movie, concert, theater). If budget permits maybe a nice day trip. Or even a vacation.
Thanks Brian, this was really helpful! I used to write, paint, read before I met this guy and suddenly he became the centre of my life. He stopped calling or texting me all of sudden and I was devastated. I used to check my phone every few minutes. After reaching out to him, he told me he was busy, which he clearly was not, I knew it. It's been a week and again he's doing it, but I'm not going to initiate conversation. I will focus on my hobbies and studies and do what's best for me.
Your video has just saved my relationship, my friends have told me to give up and move on because he doesn’t make me happy but he is trying his best and when he upsets me it’s just because I’m obsessing. You have truly helped me and I am so grateful
SO I asked the guy that I’m into to just tell me if he wants me to leave him alone so that I can move on because one second he seems into me and then the next, he doesn’t.And I’ve also asked him not to contact me even as a friend because I tend to get hooked on him again whenever he texts me out of the blue. The problem is that we work together. So I went on vacation for 4 days without telling him and he didn’t contact me the whole time. I convinced myself that if he cared, he would have been concerned when he didn’t see me at work all week. So I started to feel like that was my closure. Then, on the last day of my vacation, he texted and asked if I still worked there. Then I melted. I was like, “Aw, he cares 🥰🥰🥰” when I got back to work, I went to talk to him, he was acting like I was bothering him. Barely looking up from his phone, yawning when I talk, giving me short answers…This dude is the KING of mixed signals, I swear!
I am dealing with that none stop for 4yrs... its difficult more or less cause you work with him its much harder for you.... but his actions are careless, I suggest to move on and just treat him as a coworker. My relationship is long distance yours is close its difficult for me to leave him. So I understand in your situation. Also dont ask about how he feels its about HOW he treats you and your feelings. Trust me its a waste of time trying to get those answers. GL in your journey.
I love this video. You're so speaking to me right now. I've been obsessing over this guy I just met cos he started ignoring me all of a sudden & I just watched your video that laid out my wrongs, you're GOD sent. Keep up the good work. Thanks so much Brian Nox. GOD bless you immensely Amen!!!
Thats rude and disrespectful when a guy ignores you. Even guy friends do the same. I think its ridiculous. I avoid them and not give them bait. I rather stand in the corner facing the wall then noticing them or giving them attention.
Basically ghost them back. Just carry on hobbies and interests that have nothing to do with him. Make yourself matter. Really, men are the cherries on top. Not the main attraction. They don’t want to be responsible for your happiness. It’s a heavy burden. Going to try this! Thank you!!!!
I'm going through this agonizing feeling now,we went on 2 dates,and no word from him,finding Brian's video is helping a great deal,I subscribed 👍 I'm just shocked bcuz I never done this to anybody even if I didn't feel a connection,guess I'm too sensitive 😭
When he ignores me l do yoga, dance, cooking, sewing or listening music and it's work every time to manage my emotions towards him and put him in the right place he deserves
Genius. Since I was 17 years old I had exactly this painful habit obsessive and now I am 43 dealing with the same path. No question why and I am so glad there is an alternative to end that painful obsessive reactions from my brain.
Better option when men ignores you in a relationship than also just thnk you are not in any relationship will feel more light instead of stress by thinking about that person
Thank you, Brain! I was a bit nervous to watch a dating advice video from a man because I have a hard time trusting men, but you seem like a wonderful example of a guy who is in touch with his emotions and mature. I like how your advice isnt about playing games
Legit: -u calmed me down on another video -u set me straight -u are honest in a very intelligent way. You are the best online to give us advice. Thank you. Much love and blessings 🙏🏽
You’re so on point ! It’s like going down a rabbit hole ... it’s better to trust that when you move on from the wrong, you will walk right into the Right !
This makes so much sense, everytime he ignores me I will start doing 100 jump squats, 100 pushups, 100 kettlebell swings, 100 burpees, 100 hip thrusts, 100 lunges, 100 crunches etc (alternating everytime)...
Until every thought of him leaves my body 💥🏋️♀️.
Sick of dating men that act like children and do not communicate.
Can’t stand man babies!
Im mad because When we met I was over 200lbs.. now that he is going through some depressed moments and dont have energy for me.. Im sexy asf! and 170ish . 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️ I literally wanted to get in shape for myself and to better myself for him too. geez. now Im sexy and getting tons of others attention..but not his 😤😤😤😤😤 FML
Teach me this gal
This comment is gold!
Lmao!!.😂😂😂
It’s not nice from a man to ignore a woman, he just needs to tell her he is busy, or he does not have feelings for her anymore.
Guys should be gentlemen.
Sometimes they are just freaked out by their emotions and so shut off.
Think of all the civilized ways he could explain himself. He could just start out by saying he knows what you want but he can't give it to you, in a way that signals he's receptive to your question, which should be: Why not? Are you seeing someone else? Should I be worried? He should then give you an honest answer, not a half-answer, a shrug or roll his eyes.
But a lot of men come undone when the woman starts to cry and so they avoid the whole thing. Ooops! Did I use the term "men" here?
@@juliapurdy3950 In my situation its the man that starts to cry and is totally confused by their emotions so just clears off.
In a perfect world they would be but that’s not how most operate. Most are selfish and driven by ego.
Julia Purdy believe it or not I had one guy say this... I wish him the best! If he’s mature enough to openly communicate like that he’ll find what he’s looking for when he’s ready! Not all guys lack empathy!
It's so simple if a man ingnores you, ingnore him for good , delete the number, sleep, eat and move on. It hurts at first but 3 or 4 days ur good to goo.
Sherry Wavamuno more like 3 or 4 months unfortunately at least for me :/
@@juliebella8996 my bad, but all in all life has to continue no matter what.
I am still hurting after 2yrs 😂😂😂
@@christineansong1808 yaa it really hurts but u have to forgive, forget and move on.
Best remedy don't love with heart but head. And never put ur apples in one basket, do this things u will not get hurt for any reason.
Man, I just wanna go on a girl's trip with all the ladies in the comment section. It would be a night of lit stories and conversations and revelations and lessons. What a bunch of woke, beautiful, smart, independent women. 😍🔥🙌
Packing my bags, girl!!
Agree, lets go.
I am coming🔥🔥
🤢🤮
@@guslulu4126 Feeling left out, huh?
When he ignores you... Leave him alone.
The end ❤
This is what I do. If you want to talk to me, you would be reaching out 🤷🏻♀️ Probably why I'm still single 😂
There is no relationship at that point.
It’s not about the chase. If a guy “ghosts” it’s usually because he thinks he has found something better. Period. It’s not rocket science and there’s no hidden meaning behind his rude behavior other than discard. Move on. That’s why you don’t attach yourself--you begin to form expectations. Don’t expect shit and don’t give a shit. You’re a gold mine and can find someone else that won’t disrespect you.
"You are a gold mine"? Why exactly?
Channel Tools Because you know you’re worth.
@@sshuteandrew *your. You're lucky you're not at my college. You wouldn't do well here.
@@sshuteandrew Don't inflate your worth. You have a piss-poor education. You probably make loads of embarrassing mechanical errors whenever you write a sentence.
You're no gold mine. You're a narcissistic dolt, who inflates your own worth. Come to grips with reality. You're a dolt.
You ignore him back! The end! Bye boy bye! Ain’t nobody got time for that!
Spot on!😀
I am doing same....😆
absolutely!!!
🎯
What Ive never understood is why do people ignore each other? Are we not mature enough to show a small act of kindness and have enough respect for each other?
I completely agree and wonder the same thing.
Agreed. You either respect someone or you don’t. There is no in between.
I think it’s in large part due to the instant gratification culture that comes with the wide use of internet and cell phones. People have become much more flaky. 🤷♀️
I hate it, but here we are. Maybe when this constant connection and instant gratification are no longer novel we, as a society, will begin to once again treat each other with more respect.
@@TC-eagleseye ….and for men?
I don't get it!
I was in so much pain during the worst heartbreak of my life, that I used the pain to earn my degree and now I write books.
Just a similar case I have, today I'm a doctoral student. Sometimes I get a try because of the pain he put me through but I also remember that my academic level today wouldn't have been possible if he was close to me. This is because, each time I try to purchase a form for academic pursuits he would ask if I want to attend all the schools in this world as if I'm wasting money.
link your books, please!! (:
💓❤💚💛💜
Omg same here. I was not very good in study, after a painful one side love story, I chose to study science, it helped me to work hard and focus in my study and not think about him.
Texting is a man-child's playground. I replied "who is this" to a grown boy I thankfully wasn't really attracted to. He thought he could dissapear and pop up a few weeks later with an after 8pm text. He told me who he was and I never replied. I use to think it was rude to not respond and was surprised at how good it felt to not respond. Brought a whole new meaning to the term self-respect for me. There's always the "test" you see how poorly they can treat you and the go-to method is ghosting and reapearing at some point down the road and it's ALWAYS via text. Never ever reply to a text from a ghost.
Thank you 😊😘😘 valuable advice
Preach!
Oh yes. Treat him according to the way he treats you! Even if he didn't have the same feelings for you, even if he doesn't admit it, he will feel the bite he gave you when he ignored you. It's perfect revenge
Saimazing Life periodT!!! Nailed it girl!
This is perfect advice! So many men do this.... just pathetic game player man babies! Bring on real men!😀
Don't lie to yourself, you know inside when a man is interested in you or not! Women's intuition!
you'd be surprised to how hard looking away actually is
Old comment but TIMELESSLY TRUE. Lying to yourself about his true interest and also his true CHARACTER will get you PLAYED WITH.
Except men really can give mixed signals when they are insecure. My child is dating somebody like that, and it's painful to watch.
When a man loves a woman, he can't get enough of her.
If he's ghosting, he not only doesn't love her, he's a coward, to boot... out the door.
Life is too short to date disrespectful men. 😏😉
That's true
hear me out, maybe he's just not that into you to care enough about you to give you the benefit of an explanation.
@@animenation5324still a terrible person to ignore you rather than tell you directly that he isn’t interested
Isn't there something wrong with modern day dating if women are being taught to have to "learn" what to do when a man ignores them? Why is there no video out there teaching men to have more open and honest conversations rather than ghosting the women they are dating? I mean I can do everything to forget about the guy that ignored me and move on, but I think there are more fundamental problems with society today if we are being mentally prepared for the person we are seeing to just vanish one day.
Christine Liu i agree. Amen
@@Mike-li2wr I do agree that people need to listen better (both men and women). However, if a man thinks he's not being respected/feel needed, then he should have an open and honest conversation with the person he's currently seeing, rather than "ghosting" her. Having a conversation about what's not working is also a form of showing respect for the other person. Disappearing without any explanation is the most disrespectful thing to do.
Christine Liu well said
It's a logical conclusion but unrealistic. Not everyone is logical, respectful or emotionally mature. Not everyone is on the same page or same planet, lol
Totally
If he's in your life, you're ok
If he's not in your life,
You're ok
A quote from the Dalai llama 🙏
Perfect!
And who are we to argue with him? :-)
Stay single= no drama = happy life. Trust the time and The right guy will cross your path 😉
WØLFIE he's not the one!
Umm it has been 4 years
yeah😇
Pretty name !
🙌
If he wants you, he will let it be known!
If he wants you, you will know. If he doesn`t wants you, you will be confused
Pain in the ass
I have noticed in relationship I can get a little too needy/clingy.. So I used this method and it works for me. When he detach, I detach, When he gets silent, I get silent. And watch him start to open up.
Angelique Esprit what do you actually do that is different?
Angelique Esprit how I wish I could do the same
That's all fine and dandy, to match energies, but when does it ever get real, when does it ever become open and passionate if both people keep holding back? I don't get it. What has happened to people. I'm old fashioned, I want it all, not hot and cold head games.
ellesamuse I totally agree. I had to let this person go, I don’t want a hot and cold relationship.
Yep, Mirror him is a good idea.Taste his own medicine..😄
Ladies , my best advice is : make some exercise, join the gym and regain your power! We are all worthy and powerful! Do not expect men to treat us certain ways to feel valuable. And trust me , if you feel strong, look strong and empowered , nobody will mess with you. Love yourself first , and people around you will hesitate to disrespect you!
thats so true. thank you. i have a hard time with this because i am depressed while i date and i work on "my" depression but still its hard because my brain is overactive. and i want to avoid pain because i have enough pain right now. bless you
So...go to the gym and work on your looks so that people will respect you? C'mon now. 🤦♀️ There's more to it than that.
@@2sides_2everystory no not for them for yourself
Soooooooooo true
It’s scientifically proven that exercise is one of the best ways to generate a great deal of new neural pathways & brain power, as he discusses here. This is why it’s so helpful for ANY kind of stress🙏⭐️
I've learned to lose myself in God and His Word, so I never lose myself in a man. Best wishes ladies, decent men exist. Thanks Brian 😉
We only have God to turn to. Men think they can treat us like crap and discard us. We have to be courageous
Very well said
In order to meet decent men...lets stop being desperate. Patience matters
🎯🎯🎯
Ignoring someone is mental abuse...emotional abuse and hurts just as much as being punched in the face..Abuse is Abuse
Totally agree this should be made clear to would be daters as it's all too common like it's acceptable 😢
Some men just want to ignore you as they want to feel important and chased after i have given up on people like that. This shows immaturity and confused personalities the person who can not decide on what is good for him doesnt deserve my time and love
What if he knows what's good for him and it isn't you?? Men are very good at choosing their happiness. We need to learn that much from them.
@@juliapurdy3950 you maybe right and i really appreciate your straightforwardness however what kind of men decide moving back after they are kn a married relationship
@alizaize A dude?? Hardly, I'm a female Libra/Aquarius rising who can see all sides with a dollop of empathy, that's all!
@@mamgain85 your last sentence lost me. But people do learn and have change of heart if they're lucky. And it's more than luck... Self work is hard but as most good readers will tell, it all comes back to you and me. Let "them" be who they are. If you're still young you have time
@@juliapurdy3950 Thanks but i feel only a confused/indecisive person can do so. I feel these people should not get attached if they are not sure. Marriage is the last step of your decision of staying with a person if after marriage you are not sure and have if and buts and are contemplating you certainly havent choosen right and weighed things properly.
If a man ignores you he just doesn't like you , and most likely you don't even matter to him ... This is the rule , the other stuff is just an exception
The secret is ignoring, so ignore back
I don't get why love involves all these games...
@@ShellRides It's not love. It's western civilization.
But don't do it manipulatively, hoping he will see the error of his ways and come running back. And if he does come running back, don't expect any change. You're the one doing the soul=searching - a man like that never does.
The secret is to be full of dates! When one ignores you or stop showing up you have another five to hang out with. If he wants you he will have to make the effort and investment.
I like this comment,
Keep your options open until you find the right fit
When he started ignoring me, I went back Playing basketball, I really love bball. I didn't know this. But it really worked. I made him less important in my life. I hit the gym. Meet friends. Watch my favorite movies.
YESSS
When they devalue us we must Value Ourselves More 👍💖💪
I just eat...in moderation of course
And I went swimming, best time ever.. no more acking, no nore pain!! Just the energy flowing down in my veins, awakening my spirit, making me realize I am whole, there's nothing missing, he doesn't possess me, my pride is my strength; this man whom I love so much is what he is regardless of my love, Brian is right! Things we do to empower ourselves are the things that help us out!!
I started my MSc. It made me feel empowered and moved my mind away from the person who ghosted me. At first, it hurt me, but then I got angry, and finally, I felt sorry for him because I am more successful and honest.
I cut my grass today 😄...left my cellphone inside the house the entire time. It really works.. And I was able to save $40.00 by cutting the grass myself...
Whoa! I’m sorry, my takeaway here is that it costs $40 to have someone mow your lawn. Paid the neighbor $20 in May and haven’t had to mow the lawn once this summer. But also, good call leaving the phone inside. Sometimes I’ll put mine in airplane mode so I can still listen to music or a podcast. ❤️
@@nenamichelle Yes. I just paid $40.00 for the guys yesterday... I wish I had someone to come here and mow the grass for $20 or a friend who would do it for free.. 😆
I usually delete his number out of my phone. Out of sight, out of mind. That helps me not have the urge to text him or have a way of contacting him and if his numbers pop up then I will choose whether I want to respond or ignore it. It depends on how far away I am from the feelings I was developing for him. One time, I did this and 6 mos later he came back and called me and I didn't even know who it was. The number was foreign to me because I didn't have his number memorized, just his name that I inserted into my contacts, so when he called I was like, who is this? Haha! That was hysterical. That was also very genuine because I truly had put him out of my mind.
Natalie Domanico Reporting, Inc.
You inspired me to throw away his number.. I feel more at peace now ❤️ thank you!
@@Quntah888 Absolutely! I had a friend tell me to do that and it has stuck with me for now on. I do that a lot of people. If they decide to call then their number will pop up. Good Luck! I have a guy I'm struggling with, too. So I just did it again. I tuck the number away in a drawer just in case, but I don't keep it on my phone. This cuts down on those sudden impulsive feelings to shoot out a text that probably won't be beneficial to me. It helps me maintain my integrity, too, plus it makes them wonder. I also unfriended him off of Facebook so he couldn't see what I'm doing in my life or you could just restrict him on some posts by making him an acquaintance and only posting friends except acquaintances if you really don't want to unfriend him, but just limit what he sees.
I do exactly the same. When they ghost, I delete everything but I never block them. Not on social media, not in my phone since this looks weak and as if you care. I just actively "forget" them. Sometimes they reappear as all demons do. I then text back, completely neutral and uninterested (as tho they are a random guy I know from work or whatever) and never ask questions. That's it basically.
Example:
the reappearing demon: hey sweetie, what are u up to? thought of you!
me: oh that's nice, thank you!
> that's it. no question, no further interest, nothing.
Sometimes I ignore them and don't text back but this is childish. It is much better to answer days later completely uninterested and neutral. :-)
Genius haha👍
I do the same, delete number
Once I was texting back and forth with some guy who’s number got deleted and when he asked me out I had to admit that I have no idea who he was 🙄🤣
Get comfortable with being uncomfortable
@Stella Williams Get comfortable numb ;)
Become "Anti-Fragile".
Uh I'm trying
Hard to do.
It takes a while to adjust, I know from personal experience. But after a while you realize how much you were missing while you were tied to his apron strings. And the boredom of hanging around someone who is calling the shots...
The reason people get obsessive when they aren't receiving attention from their partner is because they have made their partner the source of their love and happiness. The source of love and happiness is never found in others. It's found within. When people practice on being happy with themselves and alone, they are not dependent on the actions of others for their happiness. So if a partner does something that may appear like they don't love you, it's easier to judge whether to be with them or not because your reasoning won't be coming from a place of fear. Your mind won't be clouded by the fear of being alone. So you'll be better able to judge if this person is someone that you should retain or let go of.
Romina Lamberti Love this
Absolutely! I don't know why so many people are afraid of being alone. I honestly have a better time doing things solo than with someone. If the right guy comes around, great but if he doesn't, I'll still be traveling solo and having a great time!
This!!!! 👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼
I loved you reaction, this is exactly what I was longing to hear and you did it so beautifully that I could not resist but copy each and every line of it all!! Bless you!!
@@nicolechemla4627 thank you! Bless you too.
I wish they would just be real and honest. Dont say your love me, act like you love me and then disappoint me. I cant. Being alone is better than being ignored.
In some cases it is because after the flattery and lovebombing, he is still not getting what he wants quick enough. So he pulls back after he feels the woman has emotionally connected hoping that his sudden withdrawal will turn the tables and get her to start chasing him so that she gives in to what he wants from her.
Best thing to do is ignore back get further away. He needs to learn this is not what he can do to be rewarded.
Yes…. We still talk but not like we used to I used to know so many details from food and where he was going to now not that many details and I have brought this up to him as far as how quickly things change as far as conversation. He constantly has his phone. The 1st week amazing communication now when I bring it up here says I’m over thinking 🤔. I’m not u changed. I’m watching him closely cuz I’m not gonna get used. When I bring it up he tries to kiss no sir I want answer. Legs closed until I feel more secure and we r in a relationship sorry
Very nice advice.. it makes sense and that's what I usually did. I dont give a shit! If he ignores then who cares. I have my beautiful life
Nailed it. Very manipulative behaviour. Sad and cowardly too
I learned a LOT from my last “bad” relationship. My ex used to be pretty terrible to me with the ignoring. He just totally took me for granted. I did all the wrong, disempowering things.
After the relationship finally really and totally ended, another guy asked me out. If I felt any kind of,”hmmm, where has he gone,(ignoring), instead of how I used to react, I totally did the polar opposite.
Just did my own thing. I will never ever ever give my power away again for anyone. And it feels SOOOO much better to respond in this way.
Exactly! Don’t take it personally. It’s their loss.😉
🎯
How many people have recently been ghosted? And are now watching this. 😂
Yep 👍 but I know he is a narcissist, and just waiting on contact for removals to get Access to my stuff ...
He ghosts me everyday lol
said he was sick but did not text or call, then complained i didnt' text him. hmm i dont chase
Ass hole narcissistic prick lol after 20year 👊
Yes in May.
He ignored me. I ignored back. He comes back to complain I didn't reach out bruh
Story of my life 🙄
LOL same 🥴 then they text you crazy worried 😂
Lololololol...so true! Like the world of females revolves around him. No!!
This is the one😂
Avoid this type of Guy. He is looking for attention but wont be attentive to your needs. Its an excuse he know he was a ass he testing you.
Fall in love with yourself. Spares you a lot of problems.
I usually remove the text thread after I've seen hes ignored me, after hes read it. Then I remove pictures, I wait a few days if nothing his number is deleted. And within this time he still hasn't replied back I'm entertaining other men with conversations maybe go on dates, doing me. I dont deserve to be ignored period! And you gotta value yourself and know it's not starting off good if he is choosing to ignore you. Baby move on down the road.. And I know its Gods protection...
If a guy ignores me I'll reach out a couple times and then if nothing it's bye bye because then it's a continuous cycle.
If someone do this you cut him off asap and never look back peace and blessing take care
marie love thats right you will show him his right volume
@@rematr1477 yes lord do not play games with someone like that they are nobody's peace and blessing take care
Yup it's called self respect ✌
True that
Yeah! I've done that. It feels nice after I cut communication with him. I realize I made a great move.
Don’t allow yourself to be ghosted! If he begins ignoring you, call and break up with him politely and warmly. Never ghost even when you think they deserve it. Men who like you won’t even fathom ignoring you for days, so end it when he does.
He ignored my birthday. He's history! 😁
My ex-husband did that to me on my 30th birthday. Months later I divorced him.
Awww☹
mine too... he was playing video games the whole day until i decided to text him. Then days later his excuse was “i didnt say happy birthday because i wanted to surprise you” like what lmaooo u can surprise someone and still say happy bday on their bday
Same here.
Amazing! Other ppl say get a hobby and stuff but don’t tell us why! BRAVO!
This guy is my favorite of all the coaches: he is a normal dude! And he speaks to us like a mate would. I like it.
Yes! The best I’ve seen so far.
Why aren't we taught this in schools?? 😂would save so much heartache
Why aren;'t we taught this by our PARENTS? It's not the schools' job!
lol
Cause relationships Neva used to be like this..... men have changed so much and it’s all media and models... it’s like men thinking women go for black cock!,... ya no what am saying... then there’s ppl like this channel ( no offense am just trying to get a point across which is probably coming out wrong lol ) who make a fortune telling us how our relationships should be....
we are individual ppl the problem is we all been programmed.... it’s unbelievable really there’s not many genuine ppl out there anymore 💚
Julia Purdy SAME 💯
Really!!!!
Apparently, most relationships fall apart so easily when love and time don't go in sync. Love speaks of time, and how we spend it makes the difference. How hard is taking a minute of your time to make one feel seen, heard, and valued? I guess everybody is dying to look for someone who can invest time for them more than anything. The truth is, love makes ways not excuses, for no one is too busy if they think you are worth it.
Love makes ways not excuses - can I borrow that thought?
Brilliant!!!! Thank you.
One "reason" my narc gave for dumping me was that I was "never home." I was home every night after work!! And I did have a second shift because that's what was available! And he's a working class guy! What he meant was, I wasn't at his immediate beck and call and he didn't trust me when I was out of his sight.
Wyeth Han this!! Speaks to me so much. You’ll notice who is the one that really makes the effort and who doesn’t. We’ve all got busy lives, but when something matters to me i make time for it.
@@mizeria777 it always takes two..., even if you give your time for your partner and he does'nt!
Different times will come when a guy, or anyone or anything, ignores you or makes you feel bad. Understand now that your brain will get hooked on whatever brought relief so it is important to pick the right thing/action.
In this case, do something empowering. LOVE YOURSELF THE WAY YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED. GIVE YOURSELF the happiness YOU deserve & choose. Those actions will become what your brain will automatically want to do whenever you feel bad.
So don't sit around waiting for his reply to give you relief, or even wait staring at his picture.
In life in general, don't binge on series or junk food, alcohol, joints, smoke, or anything you know is not in YOUR best interest so that your brain doesn't end up marking it as something good/relieving in bad situations you can't control....which life is full of.
This is absolute GOLD! I figured out this “anxiety” after I realised that the small amount of time I had known someone didn’t correlate with how much I thought I liked them. This is precisely what you describe. It’s a type of irrational fear that you are desperate to get rid of and will easily take the “antidote” of hearing from them or contacting them yourself. This knowledge of the pattern is absolutely brilliant and once you know it you can overcome it.
If he is a real man, he should let you know why he doesn't have time for you, just that simple. I am done with this kind of man. I don't even let this go this far if i feel he ignore me or i become '' the lamp in the corner'', to take when it is dark and put me away when there is light..I LEAVE! Because i can and i am more worth! I am 50 now, and can also feel very happy alone. I don't care. Who does he think he is? I have a lot to give, and i know i am an interesting and sweet person I don't need such a man in my life. Men become too lazy these days, they don't put any effort into this. Fine by me, there is the door, goodbye and move on, I am too old for this kind of shit............Well, maybe if he is Brad Pitt, i will reconsider..
Hahaha 😂👌👌👌👌
I feel absolutely the same. But no, not even could I reconsider a bad behaviour like this from Brad Pitt. No no no, it is.
@@4Lottene Just kidding. Also, he may leave on his gums haha;)
I agree 👍 I honestly LOVE being on my own. I'm 51 now and like you I'm too old for this shit!! Just even thinking about my time & tears wasted over the year's wears me out and I need a nap 😴😴 But luckily I'm at the age now where it's One strike and your out!! 👌💪
Ps I love that saying A lamp in a Corner 👍 Makes a lot of sense 😘
@@shaunaghroberts3226 Hahahaha! Hell yes sister! ;)
My 1 year long exclusive guy (we have never even had an argument) hung up on me (for a very silly thing) 3.5 days ago, I got laid off of work while he was ignoring me, I texted that something happened to me and I need his support, he continued to ignore me, then 36 hours ago texted he would call tomorrow which was yesterday, he did not. My whole life has changed in the last 3.5 days and he has no clue. I don't feel ignored, I feel abandoned. I am already looking at jobs out of state and am feeling very done with men.
just relax is not as bad as it look, give him time. stop waiting for happiness from him focus on your self laugh more be happy with out him
@deenpac You go girl!
Deenpac, first let me ask that you ignore the person above who said “just relax...it isn’t that bad.” I hate when unempathetic people say shit like that not realizing that you likely feel as if your world came crashing down! You cant “just relax” while being in sorrow, and in your heart...its the worst pain ever. I just wanted to share that I empathize with you and am sending good vibes your way. I hope that time heels all and that your next job and relationship both bring you lots of joy. 💜
deenpac Deenpac, first let me ask that you ignore the person above who said “just relax...it isn’t that bad.” I hate when unempathetic people say shit like that not realizing that you likely feel as if your world came crashing down! You cant “just relax” while being in sorrow, and in your heart...its the worst pain ever. I just wanted to share that I empathize with you and am sending good vibes your way. I hope that time heels all and that your next job and relationship both bring you lots of joy. 💜
@@faithworks24 YEASSSSSSSS SISTER!!!
I needed this so much, thank you. I'm healing from dreadful narcissist abuse. I get triggered when I know a guy has free time but chooses not to spend it on me. I need to value myself more. I'm am shifting from lack to abundance.
That’s a hard part I don’t know if the person I’m dating is one.. 💁 it’s still early there only thing changed was communication He would tell me details and just little things that he will do throughout the day food and etc. and now he still communicates it’s just like how it was before but he told me that I was overthinking when I brought up about communication because I noticed a change after we had sex. So I’m taking notes cuz I’m the bomb. Also I’ve closed my legs I told him no more sex. I want to feel more secure and see if some things change b4 I continue
When a man ignores you, it clearly means he's found someone better. I know it hurts but it's time to move on from that man. Been there and done that. This has taught me the strongest language of self love
Wow so a man can do whatever he wants until he found his trophy 🏆 .
What happens if he's clapped💀
This is exactly what does happen, they"re out there having the time of their life, no time to text or call
I would like to see more dating coaches in TH-cam teaching guys on how they should never EVER just ignore someone instead of discussing their feelings - or lack of feelings in this case. It just heartbreaking that they are so inmature.
They are so stupid.... utterly clueless...
@Jen Jenn Maybe because those men will never watch it?
It would be so nice if more men were graceful and mature and simply say, at least with one text, that the things are not working out and not leave women comfused/waiting...
Brian is the best.
Intelligent, sensitive and sincere.
I am an experienced woman as I am 66... so I can tell it is a very good advise...Do not loose your time with "idiots" if they repeat this behaviour... your time is precious...you will feel better alone than not well accompanied, take the responsibility on your life and first take the habit of being happy by yourself ... I like you Brian...thank you for my little sisters...
I'm still working on not caring but I still can't help but feel so sick and tired of being ignored by someone I care about. The first guy, I was with him for two years we were starting to plan our future together we both showed we were happy together and then he suddenly ignored me through social media, messaging, work, and at school. I was devastated, confused, and alone. The second guy, I was with him for a few months, he treated me like we were in a relationship, and then out of nowhere he ignored me. I was instantly triggered and felt so devastated and confused all over again like the first time. I still stayed with the second guy and let him do it all over again, on and off for almost two years. and each time I'd let the uncertainty of being ignored take control of me. Watching this video makes a lot of sense, it really is like a pattern.
Luckily I'm in a better place now, it did take these repetitive experiencs to help me realize how important it is to value myself. Either way I'm really afraid of this happening again. I'm just going to assume most guys will do this and just stay away from them.
😃I love it when you say “Until that moment when that IDIOT suddenly ignores you! 😂 Thanks for being on our side here 💝
the problem is when you try literally EVERYTHING and nothing matches the dopamine from the message
Agreed. It's not the same
True
Yeah, why does no one mention this? When I reached that point I cut things off with him because I realized it was getting too unhealthy.
Ladies, have 1 man for each of your needs, problem solved. I cannot tell u the power of options, With options come power with power comes respect🙏🏾
Lol ☝🏽👌🏽...
Jennifer Hopkins hell yes
Yes!
Jennifer Hopkins learning 😊
@smurfvolvo staying faithful gets you used & abused! Have fun and live life when single w no attachments🤷🏻♀️😉 even if it’s not my first choice
A week ago I've been ghosted with my bf. And i feel horrible about it. But moving on is the best option i can do. Having a vacation for a week to have self love and confidence again.
ann labs have you heard from him yet?
@@RadicalforGod still no... But I'm still doing no contact. Im busy for work and for other people and having some vacation at least in a day i can say to myself he never sink in my mind. He still checking my status in WhatsApp.
Truly cowardly when he's committed and doesn't give you an explanation. So sorry ❤️ glad you have your focus where it should be
ann labs yeah usually they call if they are interested or not done torturing you. You did the right thing move. Especially if you know you did nothing wrong.
Hope u enjoyed ur vacation
I guess, turn your brain off if you are dating or in the relationship or even better have at least 3 boyfriends so that way if one gets busy you can go to the next
ha ha ha im agree with you
Nina Stylist agree completely always have a backup in life
Lol..I also agree with u..there has to b 1 that is good out of the 3..lol..totally agree
😂😂😂😂
Why do you need extra boyfriends? Don't you have women friends, family, things to do with other people?
I could never chase after a guy. I love and respect myself too much! Then they still find fault in me. Lol
While I’m being ignored, I’m placing my valuable attention and effort into the sock I’m knitting and my dog lying on the sofa next to me.
Thanks for this valuable information and the great (as always) advice, Brian.
Love your videos and channel👩🏼🐶
I love that u incorporate the brain science behind our patterns and reactions.
I wish I heard this last night! The guy I’m talking to didn’t call or text last night and I ran off to junk food heaven, and then got very angry with myself, definitely a pattern. Thank you for your insight and advice about how to replace the pattern and hopefully create a new pathway.🤞🏻
@Suzanne M How was the Hamburger? HE could be the Hamburger, so think about this next time and enjoy the Hamburger instead of beating yourself up. HE is the one who missed this all, not you sis!
You are worth it! Love on you! May someone deserving find you
Suzanne M I feel u girl I need to stop it too
It happens to all of us.
Yes. Dont give a damn shit. Me myself I'm already feed up with guy drama and mind games.
THANK YOU Brian Nox. This is so incredibly true. I only recently found that getting lost in a hobby actually helped me reduce my anxiety and feel calmer about what you described. I was wondering why on Earth am I feeling so bad when this happens, and you explained it so well. I also think I associated being ignored with being punished, being wrong, or "too much". But none of that is true. Sometimes certain men cannot handle their own emotions and the really weak ones either have no emotional maturity to handle it well or downright use it to emotionally abuse or punish someone. Either way, I plan to distance myself and keep doing what actually feels good. I'd give a 1,000 likes to this video if I could!
👍👍👍
When he ignores you ignore him then when he finally texts you tell him to F-off! Then block him and move on! Dont even bother explaining when they act stupid like they don't understand! They Know!!!!
If a man ignores you, let it go.
This is so true. Late yesterday afternoon I was hitting PRs on my bike. After, I was walking my dog when I saw a gorgeous moon! I texted my "boyfriend" who was traveling asking for a brief call (wanted to share harvest moon). He texted a blunt relatively harsh text and I have not heard from him since. I am heading back to my bike and crank out some self created endorphins. I am creating not only great cycling numbers but a NEW neural pathway / habit to deal with potential stress! Thank you Brian Nox!
WooHoo!! Just had this happen and instead of eating ice cream or crying I grinned and went out and did something fun! Thanks for the confirmation!
Communication matters in a relationship. When there is no communication or the man or woman is ignoring possibly they have choices. Don't force it. That is a sign they are not good for you. Relationship between adults should be mutual. Cherish yourself!!!
This comment section feels like therapy❤
Brian, this is a clear and accurate explanation of an effective strategy I can actually use. I understand the concept of creating distance when a man “disappears,” but until now I hadn’t found a way to soothe the part of my brain that craves him. I think I’ll create new pathways with something physical (swimming and biking) and something creative (painting). I can’t thank you enough! 😘
@Carolynne Gischel Hahaha! I am a '' picture thinker'', so i can see where the creative painting goes... I think fireworks explode out off his b**t.....Well done sis! ;)
I agree💯
For me I’d like to talk with a friend who can understand my feelings when my loved one pulled himself away, he will told me in on the right path, thats will release some of the negative emotions try to laugh hangout with friends listen to music loudly dance as you can, make a decision that he is out of your brain 🧠 he will go out by time you ill feel perfect
@@rematr1477 Shall we start the party sis?
asjeable yeeeeeeeeeeeppp😍✌🏼✌🏼✌🏼✌🏼✌🏼
I probably one of this lady you're talking about! If someone ignores me they're dead immediately to me!! That's why I never get closed to people unless am 1000,000% sure who you are!!
Great video. No sign of life = move on. Do your own thing. Stop waiting for him to call or text. I've been there and slowly I've disconnected and realized waiting for signs of life are a waste of time and energy.
"When a man ignores you..." oh good heavens who cares, we all know men flaky delicate flowers, that waste our time, and downgrade our lives (or at least that has been my experience ).
Well put....😃
You are absolutely right
Truth 100% 🤣
What ive been doing for a while now when i feel like this is paint my nails and drink tea while listening to inspiring podcasts like these. Then with time i start feeling better and start focusing on other things. ❤
This is very much true. I've had this happen over and over, to the point where it became a real problem and a part of my depression. It took me a good while of therapy and medication to start changing my behavior. Even so, it is still difficult not to go the same old "oh, validate me!" path. Its a struggle.
I want to cry because I wish I learned about this a long time ago. I would’ve saved myself from deep pain.
Sorry for that...
He does make a point, some of us panic if our date takes too long to text/message back. But then I keep on watching all these videos on how not to panic between texts or times when one's date seems to disappear. And I wonder, if I am working so hard to cope with the anxiety, then what's the point of even dating or even try getting into a relationship? I mean it seems to be harder to try to date, than to just stay away from dating all together. 🤔
Excellent.
We should train our mind not to be emotionally dependent on anyone ,rather be self dependent and believe in the beauty and power of self .
If it bothers you when he doesn't respond tell him. If it continues he may not be the one for you. A guy who truly loves you will not purposely hurt you.
It’s about neuroscience. You put it very well. Wow! 🙏👍
@Essen O Haha! I am immune for this
Correct
My favorite advice from you so far. Finally not someone saying what I should text him - the idiot who ignored me - but how to deal in a healthy way with that crap that seems to be a norm these days. Creating a healthy habit can only be beneficial. Not trying to control or change a situation that obviously should be left behind. Might be good to leave a thought here; ladies going on a shopping spree with the thought you are treating and focusing on yourself is not the best route. It will not fulfill you truly and will leave you in debt and the void will still be there after the adrenaline rush passes. Focus on things that add to your personal and/or professional growth; now that's more power to you!!!
@Carmen Braghetta You can go shopping and having a good time and take your mind of the guy that hurt you, just don't expect anything, then you're good.
@@asjeable Well, since he's talking about habit developing ideas, shopping might not be the way to go. Shopping when one is sad and looking for a distraction is not a good habit to develop.
Shopping-especially if you are hurt, stressed, or angry-is usually ineffective. If you buy expensive stuff, don’t use/wear it immediately. Put it in your closet, keep all receipts and look at it a week later. If you still like it and can afford it AND have use for it, keep it. If no, return it.
Instead of buying stuff, consider treating yourself to a pleasant experience you can afford. A trip to the salon (hair, nails, facial, massage). Treat yourself to a favorite meal and entertainment (movie, concert, theater). If budget permits maybe a nice day trip. Or even a vacation.
Thanks Brian, this was really helpful! I used to write, paint, read before I met this guy and suddenly he became the centre of my life. He stopped calling or texting me all of sudden and I was devastated. I used to check my phone every few minutes. After reaching out to him, he told me he was busy, which he clearly was not, I knew it. It's been a week and again he's doing it, but I'm not going to initiate conversation. I will focus on my hobbies and studies and do what's best for me.
Or perhaps a red flag you’ll never be a priority in his circle ?
i was in a panic mode when he ignored me, I worked off the stress BY FULL BLOWN EXERCISE .....it worked !
Your video has just saved my relationship, my friends have told me to give up and move on because he doesn’t make me happy but he is trying his best and when he upsets me it’s just because I’m obsessing. You have truly helped me and I am so grateful
Great, now my brain is addicted to your videos every time he ignores me 😂😂🤷🏼♀️
😂
SO I asked the guy that I’m into to just tell me if he wants me to leave him alone so that I can move on because one second he seems into me and then the next, he doesn’t.And I’ve also asked him not to contact me even as a friend because I tend to get hooked on him again whenever he texts me out of the blue. The problem is that we work together. So I went on vacation for 4 days without telling him and he didn’t contact me the whole time. I convinced myself that if he cared, he would have been concerned when he didn’t see me at work all week. So I started to feel like that was my closure. Then, on the last day of my vacation, he texted and asked if I still worked there. Then I melted. I was like, “Aw, he cares 🥰🥰🥰” when I got back to work, I went to talk to him, he was acting like I was bothering him. Barely looking up from his phone, yawning when I talk, giving me short answers…This dude is the KING of mixed signals, I swear!
I am dealing with that none stop for 4yrs... its difficult more or less cause you work with him its much harder for you.... but his actions are careless, I suggest to move on and just treat him as a coworker. My relationship is long distance yours is close its difficult for me to leave him. So I understand in your situation. Also dont ask about how he feels its about HOW he treats you and your feelings. Trust me its a waste of time trying to get those answers. GL in your journey.
This is brilliant. I often listen to TH-cam videos when I feel ignored. I will go running or something. Thank you Brian.
Yawn
I love this video.
You're so speaking to me right now.
I've been obsessing over this guy I just met cos he started ignoring me all of a sudden & I just watched your video that laid out my wrongs, you're GOD sent.
Keep up the good work.
Thanks so much Brian Nox.
GOD bless you immensely Amen!!!
Thats rude and disrespectful when a guy ignores you. Even guy friends do the same. I think its ridiculous. I avoid them and not give them bait. I rather stand in the corner facing the wall then noticing them or giving them attention.
Haha 😹 true 💯
Thought I was the only one and that there has to be something wrong with me...
Basically ghost them back. Just carry on hobbies and interests that have nothing to do with him. Make yourself matter. Really, men are the cherries on top. Not the main attraction. They don’t want to be responsible for your happiness. It’s a heavy burden. Going to try this! Thank you!!!!
SuperNova “men are the cherries on top. Not the main attraction”
I need to remember this. Thank you
No body deserves that frustration
But immaturity lurks...unfortunately.
I'm going through this agonizing feeling now,we went on 2 dates,and no word from him,finding Brian's video is helping a great deal,I subscribed 👍 I'm just shocked bcuz I never done this to anybody even if I didn't feel a connection,guess I'm too sensitive 😭
When he ignores me l do yoga, dance, cooking, sewing or listening music and it's work every time to manage my emotions towards him and put him in the right place he deserves
Genius. Since I was 17 years old I had exactly this painful habit obsessive and now I am 43 dealing with the same path. No question why and I am so glad there is an alternative to end that painful obsessive reactions from my brain.
Better option when men ignores you in a relationship than also just thnk you are not in any relationship will feel more light instead of stress by thinking about that person
Thank you, Brain! I was a bit nervous to watch a dating advice video from a man because I have a hard time trusting men, but you seem like a wonderful example of a guy who is in touch with his emotions and mature. I like how your advice isnt about playing games
Legit:
-u calmed me down on another video
-u set me straight
-u are honest in a very intelligent way.
You are the best online to give us advice. Thank you. Much love and blessings 🙏🏽
You’re so on point ! It’s like going down a rabbit hole ... it’s better to trust that when you move on from the wrong, you will walk right into the Right !
Yeah someone half descent would respond within a week and apologise if there is a genuine delay. A big headed man wont ...big RED FLAG stay away!
It takes looking up your old friends or even a new flame to get that perspective.