Thank you very much for watching this video! If you enjoy watching this video, please watch this video too! How To Treat Endangered Japanese | Travel Guide in Japan th-cam.com/video/YBq40FiZlDs/w-d-xo.html
It is different to Poland. We often talk about politics, what bring real casualties. Especialy after alkohol. Luckily we don't need one child policy or war to control our numbers. We need just to hear different opinion. Then number of citisezens drops down.
I don't understand why Japanese people are loved all over the world. They refuse to show us who they are, they impose formalities, they lie all the time, they criticize foreigners, but they are surprised when they are criticized themselves. They pretend to be good people but refuse to acknowledge their cultural issues. If they show the same attitude, how can you tell if they are good persons? These people have serious issues. They don't deserve a good reputation.
worldwide people should fears more the japanese than giving them a praise they don't deserve because of their overabusive tatemae culture. even most people in my country show a little of their honne instead of always acting nice. i like their products and how their country looks, but the persons themselves are just like waste of time to interact
Thats true, I have a few Japanese that I met in person via a language learning app, that over time became good friends. Japanese people outside of Japan seem to adapt pretty well to the new cultures and become quickly more open an approachable. One friend went as far as having deeply personal discussions about her fears, troubles and joys in life...
pick up a Japanese traditional art. like musical instruments etc. it open up doors to Japanese logic and ways of thinking. it is the most effective way for those which gets the flow. there is nothing no more Japanese than its arts and literature.
There is s big difference between Chinese overseas and japanese overseas behavior Whereas in china society isn't important family is way more important . And families decide where to move and to keep their values abroad. In Japan society and community is way more important than family . As a result japanese people see their community as the subtle family. Living abroad would be only acceptable if the whole community decided to migrate, and usually through a foreign company or building a capital district community . Chinese families live dispersed over foreign nations while japanese families all collect themselves at a little Tokyo to live a loyal community together .
I worked for a Japanese company for twenty years, a couple of things I learned was if you think you understand how the Japanese think, you have a rude awakening, stay silent and be humble, work very hard, if you think your boss cares about you personally you are wrong, be honest, they will never admit to a mistake, they love having drinks with you, just know you are being watched, they are like the Mafia, business is business, and never lose your temper, always be in control mentally!
bravo Mr Meshida you convinced us to not befriend japanese. you are very discouraging in your words. this just make me want to genralize every of your compatriots very negatively. i am sorry to say that.
Honestly, I don't really care if I was treated like an alien in Japan because it made MUCH MORE SENSE to be treated that way in a foreign land compared to what I am now, an alien in my own home country. If anything, living a solitary life is VERY PEACEFUL.
I feel this. I don't connect with other Americans very well (I don't give a FUCK about The Office or football). I've spent my entire life enjoying Japanese things and now I'm finally amongst people that also like the same things.
Thank you Mr. Meshida, I will update my old list of instructions 1) Find heavily populate area 2)Shout "hajimemashite mutha fuckas"! 3)wait for the friendly gentlemen in blue shirts and Navy blue vests to pick you up and show you their place of work. 4) Tell them about yourself whilst they take friendly notes about you. 5)When put in a room with other friendly Japanese people, repeat step one until one of them gives you a friendly punch or two.
bravo Mr Meshida you convinced us to not befriend japanese. you are very discouraging in your words. this just make me want to genralize every of your compatriots very negatively. i am sorry to say that.
@giannilyanicks1718 that's probably for the best. It would appear you aren't compatible with a slightly different sense of humour than you are used to. Are you having an off day my guy?
@giannilyanicks1718 as told by a Japanese comedian in a self deprecating way. It's a tool many comics have used and one of the first. If you don't think the topic is humerous and don't want to hear a comedians take on it, how far did you get into the video?
I was right, my advice was the first point in this video, you have to find someone interested in you. The vídeo talks more about English language but it’s not only English, if you find someone interested in your language and culture, you will find your friend or even your partner (gf/bf). But here’s my other advices (number 1 is above): 2- Perhaps people from Tokyo are known as cold people, they are more open minded in comparison to people from the country side in relation to have foreigner friends or partners. You can include other big cities as well. The problem is you will have to compete to other foreigners for the same ‘friend’ lol. 3-If you feel your country and language are not interesting to anyone, try to achieve a better social status. Introduce yourself as ‘I work for THAT company, as someone important’ , or ‘I’m a president of certain company (even if it’s your own company and you are the only employee lol), ‘I’m a professional soccer player (even if it’s from a 3rd division team lol) etc. If they admire you, you will have more chances. 4-Some people say you must be white but it’s not true. It helps but you can succeed being Asian, Latin American, Black etc. If #1 and 2 fail, go to other cities. I took sometime to find my gf. From my region it was impossible. I ended up finding my gf in Osaka. Obviously you don’t need to move physically to all cities, search using the dating apps👍 Note: Honestly I’ve never searched for Japanese friends. I was just looking for a gf and succeeded, that’s all. When I had a band, I just looked for good musicians, independently if they were Japanese or not. My band had 3 foreigners and 2 Japanese. When I used to play soccer I could play with people from different nationalities. We were just together there for the soccer game. Even Meshida said adult Japanese person has problem to find friends as well so don’t struggle yourself to find one. Be proud of yourself, be yourself👍
Meshida-san, I got a friend in Japan. He was my customer for many years. We went thru many experiences together, some dangerous ones like driving an unmarked newly paved road in a new moon night under heavy rain in Brazil. He was always ethical, honest of great integrity. I even had to learn to communicate properly in Spanish, which he speaks as a native. My opinion, you may not get many friends in Japan but the ones you get will be very fine ones.
bravo Mr Meshida you convinced us to not befriend japanese. you are very discouraging in your words. this just make me want to genralize every of your compatriots very negatively. i am sorry to say that.
Don't be too hard on Japanese people. I live in London and originally from Asia and me and my friends hardly have any English friends. We have acquaintances at work but hang out? Rarely if ever. I think it is just difference in culture. And that's fine. Those westerners who complain about not making enough Japanese friends should ask themselves how much effort they made when they were in their own countries to befriend a foreigner? Look inwards. Friendships in a way is like falling in love. It happens.
worldwide people should fears more the japanese than giving them a praise they don't deserve because of their excessive tatemae culture. even most people in my country show a little of their honne instead of always acting nice. i like their products and how their country looks, but the persons themselves are just like waste of time to interact
@@maegalroammis6020it is an Asian problem in general. We never say what we truly want to say. Saying No feels like the biggest disrespect ever. Most Asian cultures East Asian, Southeast Asian or Middle Eastern are based on the honour system. There are pros to it but also like everything some drawbacks. No one says or expresses their true feelings.
I'm the kind of idiot that will befriend the girlfriend of the guy I like, to support their relationship, in the spirit of "i love him, so even if it's not with me I want him to be happy", and get used in all sorts of ways, up to be asked to redo the painting in their bedroom, because they were getting married and didn't want to spend money with a painter. I wonder how I fare in the effort department, because I still get no friends.
@@radioclash84 So interesting how different points of view can be. I remember when I learnt that much of what I was told by japanese people was just "tatemae". I felt so betrayed. From then on, I saw japanese people as untrustworthy, the kind that don't say what they mean and hardly mean what they say. They come with a smile and pleasantries, but hide the knives behind their backs, ready to stab when convenient. To me, that's cowardice. It's much more honorable to bring out your weapons, put them on the table and speak frankly, with the dignity of equals, instead of patronising, manipulating with superficialities such as etiquette (a theatre of appearances) and empty words, in order to avoid the real deal. But I guess different cultures have different ideas of honor.
His videos are hilarious! A lot of what he mentions reminds me of us Scandinavian people. I have a friend from Nagasaki who says that Japan is the Sweden of Asia and Sweden the Japan of Europe. Have you heard something similar?
@@unwnme well they have like a "town" in Japan. Thats build like Sweden. Swedish Houses style, Stores, and even celebrate Swedish traditions, and so on.. so yeh something in it is it.
I was at a bar in Japan and was talking to a Japanese local man than knew really good English. I offered to buy him a drink and he politely didn't accept. At the end of the night I told him it was nice talking to him and he gave me a hug. Yes he gave me a hug I was so shocked I didn't really know how to take it. In America its normal but in Japan it really was an eye opener. Sometimes I guess people just need a hug.
And yet they find it super weird that brazilians hug and kiss on the first meeting as a way of greeting. They'd not criticise it so much if they really wanted hugs
Very simple. On the subway pick out your new friend, scream "KOKUHAKU"!!!', run at them and give them a bear-hug. You'll have a friend for life, trust me.
I am lucky 😄 a Japanese student went to college in the UK and lived with my grandparents during my childhood and so we grew up together ❤️ she's like a sister to me and we stayed in touch when she returned to Japan. I'm going to Japan in September to visit her and maybe I'll come and see your comedy show, too, Meshida-san! ❤️
@@erw108 It's merely a comment, responding to the video's premise that it is difficult to make Japanese friends. It's a perfectly valid comment talking about MY experience with making a Japanese friend. We are all free here to talk about whatever we want, relevant or not. If you don't like my comment, then ignore it and move on to the next comment, there's no need to be rude. Perhaps you should learn more from Japanese society about being polite because you won't make any Japanese friends with this sort of attitude.
@@erw108 Wow, you're very hostile. There are other comments on here similar to mine but you didn't pick on them, only me. I have no problem with people challenging my comments but your response to my comment was weird, hostile, filled with possible envy and quite frankly unnecessary. I'm going to end this discussion here before it escalates into more nastiness because people like you have a toxic attitude and can't be reasoned with. Have a nice day.
worldwide people should fears more the japanese than giving them a praise they don't deserve because of their overabusive tatemae culture. even most people in my country show a little of their honne instead of always acting nice. i like their products and how their country looks, but the persons themselves are just like waste of time to interact
This is probably one of the most difficult of things to navigate culture-to-culture. In Mainland China, it can be much easier to make closer friends if you are actually loud, bold, extroverted but fly over to Japan and they will be scared away. Go to Vietnam and again they may embrace you sooner if you're an outgoing enthusiastic type but drive over to Laos and you will scare them into hiding if you are the same sort of enthusiastic personality. This is also true in the Anglosphere to degrees and nuances. Canadians and Australians (and Americans too) will simply meet anywhere and immediately become friends, chat up a storm, share stuff BUT they will get halted in much of England where they tend to expect a kind of cold bubble and will get defensive if someone tries getting too close UNTIL, if you do warm up to them, if they unfreeze their shield, if you win them over slowly - you have a best friend for life until death. Brits tend to form exclusive but very loyal best friends and to death do they part. If you take Mainland Chinas culture, it won't necessarily be that they don't easily accept 'foreigners' into a close friendship circle but it's that they form that early with their schoolmates and that circle they graduated in will be forever the circle of inside best friends but few outside that can ever enter that level of bonding and best friend loyalty and that would exclude some added friends later in life. A Chinese spouse may very well consider the graduation circle of friends more important, closer and more loyal than their own spouse. Maybe I should just make a video on this too. Just some thoughts.
These are the things we say in my country to Japanese tourists. "Your English is great" "Do you already have RadAway in your konbinis?" "Sorry, I would love to have you over but we are out of rice." "Sorry, but we already cooked the fish" LOL
Advice for making Japanese friends, from a Foreign Barbarian in Japan. 1. Join the same social circle. This could be something like a high school, or college sports club. 2. Offer help, if you can. Give your colleagues a hand, without asking. Respect+ 3. If invited to something, dont refuse. 4. Look attractive. Japanese people are drawn to fair skin and blue eyes. If you a black dude, give up.
Number 4 is not exclusive to the Japanese only, but also the rest of Asia especially those countries that were colonized by western powers back in the day.
Not gonna lie, seriously considering starting a "Gaijin friendly for hire" service. I will make it friendly, convenient, and they will never have to worry about us calling them to hang out. They call and book an appointment suitable for them 👍......🤣😄
worldwide people should fears more the japanese than giving them a praise they don't deserve because of their overabusive tatemae culture. even most people in my country show a little of their honne instead of always acting nice. i like their products and how their country looks, but the persons themselves are just like waste of time to interact , like if they still thinks they still lives during the isolated period of japan. very shameful during the 21th century. it's supposed to be a modern country , but people still have that middle age mindset and i dont understand why they recieve to of tourists. i have enough of the japanese asking us to learn japanese without knowing our difficulties and they lack of forgiveness they would give us if we speak it poorly , and them pretenending they're good persons while in reality they only make gentle lies over over! don't date these people!
worldwide people should fears more the japanese than giving them a praise they don't deserve because of their overabusive tatemae culture. even most people in my country show a little of their honne instead of always acting nice. i like their products and how their country looks, but the persons themselves are just like waste of time to interact
बहुत पहले नहीं, जापान में भारतीय त्योहार होली के लिए एक उत्सव था और ऐसा लग रहा था कि जापानी लोग भारतीय होली उत्सव के दौरान टोक्यो में भारतीयों के साथ जश्न मना रहे थे, दिलचस्प
worldwide people should fears more the japanese than giving them a praise they don't deserve because of their overabusive tatemae culture. even most people in my country show a little of their honne instead of always acting nice. i like their products and how their country looks, but the persons themselves are just like waste of time to interact
0:12 This, this right here underlines the whole issue perfectly! making Japanese friends is super easy, making real Japanese friends after they enter the job market, especially if they are applying for or are hired by a 一流会社 (first class company) You should def. add to the list *11. Don't use sarcasm*
So as a Finn Japan would be perfect. I don't like talking much and prefer being disturbingly quiet to a point where i'm often yelled at for being too quiet and avoid people groups like a mythical pokemon. While i spend more time trying to understand and read the room than trying to be assertive xD
I was in Hong Kong and in a trainf rom the airport. Suddenly, a group of Western tourists got on board and started yelling and people looked at them. They immediately shut up.
Here’s special Thanks! Your videos are always 面白い👍🏼 As a foreigner who has lived in Japan for 30 yrs my suggestion to my fellow foreigners is: if you want to really enjoy living in Japan, then don’t expect to blend into the society and be accepted as “their own” because that might never happen. Living as a “gaikokujin” is very stress free👍🏼
bravo Mr Meshida you convinced us to not befriend japanese. you are very discouraging in your words. this just make me want to genralize every of your compatriots very negatively. i am sorry to say that.
Literally did this when I was in Japan this year. I spent years learning about the culture and "how to behave in Japan", but eventually using the gaijin pass in a bunch of situations really helped 😂
Knowing Japanese is the first requirement for having Japanese friends. Having good behavior also counts, in the sense of acting according to the moment, being funny at the right times and at other times taking things seriously. I hope to make new friends in Japan, I know most of the Japanese people in Brazil but I really want the opportunity to talk to natives
Rush hour in Japan is 8pm. They aren’t lying when they say that they work too hard. It’s ridiculous. No wonder Japanese people don’t have friends and aren’t having babies, due to over work, they don’t have time.
your analysis may extend to the fact that Japan as a nation singlehandedly pays 20% of the UN budget. What country in that position (see also Germany) is not full of "hard working types"
i always want to make friends with japanese people but not long ago i change my mind & i just want to visit Japan as a tourists to Osaka, Okinawa, Kyoto & Tokyo with only one Japanese friend ie. Meshida😃
Great video. Right on topic. I'd add the expression "Out of sight, out of mind". Once you leave Japan, your Japanese "friends" will soon forget about you, no matter how you try to continue to correspond with them. You're only "useful" to them when you are in Japan.
Meshida, that's so true. I've lived in Osaka for almost 5 years. I experienced all the things that you mentioned. I understand all those things are being the part of Japanese culture, and I respect it. I had a bit lonely life in Japan but I truly enjoyed every bit of it. Good job Meshida, foreigners should know the reality....
Thank you very much Meshida for this video ^^ I have friends in Japan whom I met at school here in Finland. We still chat in social media and send and recieve cards to each other.
New headcanon: Meshida-san actually speaks impeccable English with a posh British accent but purposefully hides his power level to make more friends. Also, now I just imagine every Japanese person I ever talked to secretly thinking "I'm too sober to talk with this gaijin", which makes me a little sad....
I'm Black...but the questions I get about learning Japanese are...exhausting. "Why do you want to learn Japanese? You can just speak English in Japan right?" "Are you going to live there?" "What's the point in learning it? It's too hard." 🙃🙃🙃 I promise I'm friendly (long as you're respectful 🤣) and I genuinely want to make friends. 一緒に練習して頑張ってくださいね。🤗
After living in Japan for nearly ten years the best advice I can give is accept you are an outsider and will never be fully accepted. However, that doesn’t mean you are a pariah, work on your language and cultural skills, recognize that you are a permanent guest and things are pretty good. I’ve also noticed a shift in recent years where more Japanese seem to be slightly more comfortable with foreigners.
This guy knows what he's talking about. Not everyone might agree with everything he said but it depends on your own personal perspectives I guess. Still though, he's presenting it in a way that actually makes sense, telling the overall truth but not in a way that'll burst your bubble, you know?
I grew up in America, i don't even make American friends. I guess I'm still more comfortable with asian.. though we speak different languages but share similar culture
Is not being in a club very popular in Japan? As a foreigner you could create an English + activity group. Then whenever you teach a phrase find out what the Japanese is for that phrase. You would learn Japanese and find people who share your interest in stealing women's underwear.
Mr Meshida is a fine analyst and presenter of Japanese society. And his skill to express complex things in English is better than that of rather many native English speakers.
That’s why us westerners get along with the Otaku and other really nerdy subcultures and dissidents the best instead of the corporate statist mainstream society. For me it’s people in the Otaku and history nerd subculture especially if they overlap like in Azur Lane. Or other Gacha games.
Meshida-san, I'm hoping you can make a video about the Japanese way of thinking: day-to-day, dreams and aspirations. I think people would appreciate understanding more the Japanese perspective about life.
It's all about the lanuage. After a day of hard work, people just want to relax and have good conversations; not to practice a foreign language. Imagine someone in US who speaks very little English. Speaking fluently a foreign language often means understanding the culture well. It might take longer and extra efforts, but if one can converse fluently and respect other culture's difference, one can make local friends.
You become fluent by practicing at every possible opportunity, including after a hard day of work, tho. If I'm able to write this in English, it's largely thanks to me doing just that.
one reason why i just praised myself in school. (classmates, teacher never understood WHY i did this) i said that no one else would, all the time, and praise is a good motivator for help for good work. (also, no one else knew why i was better than everyone else in school. ) my classmates caught onto this, and i started making more friends, but my teachers hated me (not understanding how i finished my classes faster.
Meshida-San I have many Japanese friends after traveling a lot to japan since 2000. I have a core of close friends I'm close with in mainly Tokyo. Through them, I've met many other Japanese people and eventually became friends. It also helps that I speak Japanese. I also even attended a Japanese funeral and wedding this year for the first time.
I am Egyptian and I have been watching your videos and a lot of Japanese TH-camrs. The more I watch, the more I realize how totally opposite Egypt and Japan are in everything. it makes me wonder if I can ever make a Japanese friend. When Japanese people are quiet, Egyptians are loud, when Japanese people are shy, Egyptians are more direct, when Japanese people have this collective mindset, Egyptians are unyielding (it’s because of our long history with invaders). In Japan, talking about politics & religion is taboo, whereas in Egypt it’s not (to be honest, it’s because our whole lives revolve around these two, even though I personally think it is one of Egypt’s main problems). But personally, I abhor talking about politics as nothing good ever comes out of it. I will only answer some questions about religion if someone asks me about it. Although I do disagree with one thing and that is to deny a compliment and humble oneself. I have tried that most of my life and it has done me more damage than good. It turned me into a negative, self-deprecating person with no courage. If I get complimented, I simply say “Thank you”. I find this to be the best response. Even within Egyptian standards, I come off as “too shy, introverted, and quiet”. Maybe to a Japanese person, that would still be too direct and loud. I also have very thick skin so I don’t care much if people are too blunt with me. I would rather they say exactly what they mean because I have a hard time reading between the lines. If it happens that I make a Japanese friend, then it’s fine, if not it’s also fine. Friendships shouldn’t be forced or rushed.
My earliest "pulls" or attraction to Japan are Voltes V, Hikari Sentai Maskman, Choudenshi Bioman, Space Sheriff Shaider and Kamen Rider Black. Years later, Ultraman. Late 90s up until now, anime and manga. It is a mixture of awe, fascination, and a bit of disheartening/disappointment. Truth hurts, and I appreciate the brutal honesty. With all sincerity, I admire and respect Japanese language, culture, and your model of hardwork and ingenuity. Oh, add J-Pop. I choose J-Pop anytime over K-Pop and its cultural impact. May I really learn your language as one of ways to express appreciation and gratitude on how your culture has influenced more than half of my life.
When I was studying Japanese one of the most important things I learned was "社会人" (lit. "Society people"). It applies to 90% of the points you make in the video. Where in the west we value individualism, in Japan it's conformity. So, if you don't learn customs in addition to the language you will be ignored. There is another Japanese expression "出る杭は打たれる" (lit. "The stake that sticks out gets pounded down") that is commonly used for people who stand out or use bad manners. So if you are wondering why Japanese people won't accept friends who don't conform it has to do with 内外 (lit. The in-groups & out-groups) which is too long and complicated to explain but it would look bad on a typical Japanese person accepting someone as friend who is not 100% familiar Japanese customs. As a result they themselves could punished by other people they know for sticking their heads out.
It's very true. Many immigrants to Japan will get asked if they know how to use chopsticks about every day. Other questions include, "How long have you lived in Japan?" "What country are you from?" "What is your job?" "Your Japanese is good, how long have you studied?" Sometimes it's just a simple 「日本語が上手」
Just join one of those crazy Buddhists cults, I joined one and had a few friends there even though I don't speak Japanese at all and to this day, have no idea what I signed for.
i was in japan a few days ago and inside the Ginza line, i remember hearing these japanese people who speak pretty loudly inside the train. Furthermore, a few weeks back i was also in Sapporo and i hear people pretty much yelling happily at the streets!
haha so true. Some of it reminds me when going out with my wife (Japanese) to some drinking places and get to talk with people somewhat around our age and she tries to make them befriend me and hang out at some point. Then exchange line and I'm like thinking "I don't think they actually want to lol, me neither" since probably no common interest and we are just drinking. I understand she wants me to have friends here and it would be nice since the time difference makes it almost impossible to keep in touch with my friends in my home country, but it seems pretty much impossible. I'm an introvert anyway and always have other interests I want to pursue on my own but I enjoy going out here way more than in my country and I understand I won't be making friends here for real and everyone is hiding what they think and "lie" to make the time just fun.
What is really friendship ? Is it showing a lot of emotions everyday to your friend? Sometimes i feel people have become a matter of fact with each other in some cultures. I believe if you go to europe and particularly northern europe . Its very much like that. Although people arent polite , you wont feel warmth either everyday. Japan is such nation. But they look entertaining to they attract people. But you dont understand its not a genuine leisurous romantic party nation for anime. Its all a show. Its a cultural performance. Japan is about work achievment and performance. Be professional useful and work hard in japan . I believe this increases trust but in the end japanese people work to live their happy life . You got to show you are truly long term reliable person in japan , you serve this country . Japanese people have passion not when they relax . They have passion when they work. Be a professional person. But stay polite . Be gentle calm yet motivated. Japanese people make anime . Thats why you have anime. Japanese themselves are everyday busy doing ambitious stuff for a lifetime Japanese friendship is actually intense partnership .
I'm in Osaka today and I think we got turned down at a restaurant because I was making a joke to my wife on the stairs to the restaurant and my loud ass laughed. I knew some of the things you're talking about but I'm trying to better as a visitor because it's hard to keep myself in check while I'm here lol
I will speak English to a Japanese person, they will become my friend to learn English and then I will suddenly start speaking Spanish exclusively. In college I had Japanese friends who had a heart attack when they heard me answer el teléfono en español porque estaba hablando con mi abuela que nomas habla español. Les tomo un día completo para poder hablar con migo otra vez
I'm a New Yorker now living in New Jersey, and even here in America, I'm an outsider just living one state over. I have no friends at all, I just hang out with my cousin. But no matter where I am, I'm always an outsider. Even where I grew up in Brooklyn New York, is predominantly a Black neighborhood with some Hispanic, and very few White people. I did go to school in a White neighborhood, but even among White people, I'm treated as an outsider. Part of it has to do with the fact that I'm mixed raced, even though I'm White in appearance. I'm mostly White with some non-white heritage. I'm a mix of Italian, Irish, French, German, Blackfoot, Egyptian, and Ethiopian. But even though I'm pale white in skin tone, my gray eyes and multicolored hair, gives away the fact that I'm technically not White (just White passing). I do want to go to Japan someday, I honestly don't care if Japanese people treat me as an outsider, I'm already used to it. I'm an outsider even in my own local area!
Meh.... I'm American and I have a shit ton of Japanese friends. Both international Japanese and non English speakers. I'm even heading to Yamanashi tomorrow to film a Television commercial after being invited by one of my very close Japanese friends who is a film director. My advice is if you're foreign.... I know this sounds strange..... Go to live shows. Bands, music, theatre etc. There you will meet many Japanese who don't think so traditionally and are super into music and next thing you know, you guys are hanging out every month.
Being a foreign student in Tsukuba for quite a long time now, this has actually been the most depressing video I've seen in these years living here. I'm so glad I have a ton of foreign friends to hang out with until I leave this sinking ship 🤣
Number 8 is also a thing in America. Especially at large family gatherings, every family has that one relative that will start talking about politics. Even though nobody wants to talk about it. Generally in conversations, most Americans agree to not bring up politics. But there's always someone that wants to do it.
Maybe the best way to make friends is to pick them from a group that's already willing to communicate and to understand with foreigners. This way I didn't have to deal with any Japanese who were not open minded. I made a few Japanese penpals with Slowly and became close friends with two of them. One visited last summer for a week (Germany and Belgium) and this year it's planned that she will be my "local tour guide" on a bike journey we're going to make together. It's along the coastal bike paths, roughly from Kyoto to Hiroshima. Fun fact: Whenever I tried to speak some Japanese, my friend praised the effort - and busted out laughing & told me to stick to English please 😂 Oh, I got invited by her Japanese colleagues and (sports) team mates too - but it was all tatemae. 🙄
I guess for some it’s true, but I hadn’t had much problem in Japan. I have more Japanese friends than American. I’m also into JDM car culture and anime. Also I grew up strict southern baptist in the Appalachian mountains. Also I’m half White and Native American, I’ve been mistaken for Japanese by many Japanese. Also they love my calm drawn southern accent. I think Height in Japan is something too. I’m 6”2 and muscular. Girls always at concerts or meets try touch my arms and giggle, also a lot of Japanese are interested in Gun’s, even though they are very hard to own in Japan. I have a wealth of gun knowledge and specs that come cascading out of my head. It’s always good to be polite and smile. Don’t take actions personally. I worked for a Japanese company for almost 10 years and made a lot of friends even with the owner and have went to many of there weddings and first child birth parties. My Fiancé is also Japanese, very conservative woman and said she would never date or marry a foreigner. She’s also from a elite family I. Japan. But kindness and a smile with hood ole southern charm gets them every time. Basically be yourself, it’s a great country and let things organically happen! 😜😎
Speaking of hard to make Japanese friend, if you are a male gaijin and want to make male Japanese friends, it’s almost impossible. I have been visiting and some long stay in Japan for over 20 years and have 0 male Japanese friends, but I do have several very good female Japanese friends.
Thank you very much for watching this video! If you enjoy watching this video, please watch this video too!
How To Treat Endangered Japanese | Travel Guide in Japan
th-cam.com/video/YBq40FiZlDs/w-d-xo.html
It is different to Poland. We often talk about politics, what bring real casualties. Especialy after alkohol. Luckily we don't need one child policy or war to control our numbers. We need just to hear different opinion. Then number of citisezens drops down.
@@robertmadea9229
Unfortunately, now you have millions more Ukrainian refugees, so all these intricate policies went after the Russian warship
I don't understand why Japanese people are loved all over the world. They refuse to show us who they are, they impose formalities, they lie all the time, they criticize foreigners, but they are surprised when they are criticized themselves. They pretend to be good people but refuse to acknowledge their cultural issues. If they show the same attitude, how can you tell if they are good persons? These people have serious issues. They don't deserve a good reputation.
worldwide people should fears more the japanese than giving them a praise they don't deserve because of their overabusive tatemae culture. even most people in my country show a little of their honne instead of always acting nice.
i like their products and how their country looks, but the persons themselves are just like waste of time to interact
What about meeting people in so called sub cultures? I would like to meet car enthusiasts in Japan, e.g. JDM style and others.
The best way to make Japanese friends is to learn the language and culture, and then return to your home country and make Japanese friends there.
Thats true, I have a few Japanese that I met in person via a language learning app, that over time became good friends. Japanese people outside of Japan seem to adapt pretty well to the new cultures and become quickly more open an approachable. One friend went as far as having deeply personal discussions about her fears, troubles and joys in life...
pick up a Japanese traditional art. like musical instruments etc.
it open up doors to Japanese logic and ways of thinking.
it is the most effective way for those which gets the flow.
there is nothing no more Japanese than its arts and literature.
most japanese don't leave japan so they're rare. they judge foreigners.
There is s big difference between Chinese overseas and japanese overseas behavior
Whereas in china society isn't important family is way more important . And families decide where to move and to keep their values abroad.
In Japan society and community is way more important than family . As a result japanese people see their community as the subtle family.
Living abroad would be only acceptable if the whole community decided to migrate, and usually through a foreign company or building a capital district community .
Chinese families live dispersed over foreign nations while japanese families all collect themselves at a little Tokyo to live a loyal community together .
WHY WOULD WE DATE THEM IF THEYRE ALL TWOFACED
I worked for a Japanese company for twenty years, a couple of things I learned was if you think you understand how the Japanese think, you have a rude awakening, stay silent and be humble, work very hard, if you think your boss cares about you personally you are wrong, be honest, they will never admit to a mistake, they love having drinks with you, just know you are being watched, they are like the Mafia, business is business, and never lose your temper, always be in control mentally!
bravo Mr Meshida you convinced us to not befriend japanese. you are very discouraging in your words. this just make me want to genralize every of your compatriots very negatively. i am sorry to say that.
"They will never admit to a mistake" wow that's toxic. I thaught they would fall on their knees and ask for forgiveness lol watched too many movies
Honestly, I don't really care if I was treated like an alien in Japan because it made MUCH MORE SENSE to be treated that way in a foreign land compared to what I am now, an alien in my own home country.
If anything, living a solitary life is VERY PEACEFUL.
I feel this. I don't connect with other Americans very well (I don't give a FUCK about The Office or football). I've spent my entire life enjoying Japanese things and now I'm finally amongst people that also like the same things.
the problem is not the fact we're an alien in a foreign country or not ; its just the way they treat us like dogs or objects
In Okinawa, the expression Ichariba chode is used. What it means is that from the first day we meet, we are like brothers.
Japan is like an introverts dream; you fit in better if you keep to yourself. Love your channel!
Thank you Mr. Meshida, I will update my old list of instructions
1) Find heavily populate area
2)Shout "hajimemashite mutha fuckas"!
3)wait for the friendly gentlemen in blue shirts and Navy blue vests to pick you up and show you their place of work.
4) Tell them about yourself whilst they take friendly notes about you.
5)When put in a room with other friendly Japanese people, repeat step one until one of them gives you a friendly punch or two.
Can confirm. Totally works.
bravo Mr Meshida you convinced us to not befriend japanese. you are very discouraging in your words. this just make me want to genralize every of your compatriots very negatively. i am sorry to say that.
@giannilyanicks1718 that's probably for the best. It would appear you aren't compatible with a slightly different sense of humour than you are used to.
Are you having an off day my guy?
@@RobbieDBobbet i didn't though that video would be humorous . the subject is sensitive
@giannilyanicks1718 as told by a Japanese comedian in a self deprecating way. It's a tool many comics have used and one of the first. If you don't think the topic is humerous and don't want to hear a comedians take on it, how far did you get into the video?
I was right, my advice was the first point in this video, you have to find someone interested in you. The vídeo talks more about English language but it’s not only English, if you find someone interested in your language and culture, you will find your friend or even your partner (gf/bf).
But here’s my other advices (number 1 is above):
2- Perhaps people from Tokyo are known as cold people, they are more open minded in comparison to people from the country side in relation to have foreigner friends or partners. You can include other big cities as well. The problem is you will have to compete to other foreigners for the same ‘friend’ lol.
3-If you feel your country and language are not interesting to anyone, try to achieve a better social status. Introduce yourself as ‘I work for THAT company, as someone important’ , or ‘I’m a president of certain company (even if it’s your own company and you are the only employee lol), ‘I’m a professional soccer player (even if it’s from a 3rd division team lol) etc. If they admire you, you will have more chances.
4-Some people say you must be white but it’s not true. It helps but you can succeed being Asian, Latin American, Black etc. If #1 and 2 fail, go to other cities. I took sometime to find my gf. From my region it was impossible. I ended up finding my gf in Osaka. Obviously you don’t need to move physically to all cities, search using the dating apps👍
Note: Honestly I’ve never searched for Japanese friends. I was just looking for a gf and succeeded, that’s all.
When I had a band, I just looked for good musicians, independently if they were Japanese or not. My band had 3 foreigners and 2 Japanese.
When I used to play soccer I could play with people from different nationalities. We were just together there for the soccer game.
Even Meshida said adult Japanese person has problem to find friends as well so don’t struggle yourself to find one. Be proud of yourself, be yourself👍
Meshida-san, I got a friend in Japan. He was my customer for many years. We went thru many experiences together, some dangerous ones like driving an unmarked newly paved road in a new moon night under heavy rain in Brazil. He was always ethical, honest of great integrity.
I even had to learn to communicate properly in Spanish, which he speaks as a native.
My opinion, you may not get many friends in Japan but the ones you get will be very fine ones.
It’s like this everywhere. Real people recognize real people.
@@Ropewatch True. There are real people everywhere.
bravo Mr Meshida you convinced us to not befriend japanese. you are very discouraging in your words. this just make me want to genralize every of your compatriots very negatively. i am sorry to say that.
Don't be too hard on Japanese people. I live in London and originally from Asia and me and my friends hardly have any English friends. We have acquaintances at work but hang out? Rarely if ever. I think it is just difference in culture. And that's fine. Those westerners who complain about not making enough Japanese friends should ask themselves how much effort they made when they were in their own countries to befriend a foreigner? Look inwards. Friendships in a way is like falling in love. It happens.
worldwide people should fears more the japanese than giving them a praise they don't deserve because of their excessive tatemae culture. even most people in my country show a little of their honne instead of always acting nice.
i like their products and how their country looks, but the persons themselves are just like waste of time to interact
@@maegalroammis6020it is an Asian problem in general. We never say what we truly want to say. Saying No feels like the biggest disrespect ever. Most Asian cultures East Asian, Southeast Asian or Middle Eastern are based on the honour system. There are pros to it but also like everything some drawbacks. No one says or expresses their true feelings.
I'm the kind of idiot that will befriend the girlfriend of the guy I like, to support their relationship, in the spirit of "i love him, so even if it's not with me I want him to be happy", and get used in all sorts of ways, up to be asked to redo the painting in their bedroom, because they were getting married and didn't want to spend money with a painter. I wonder how I fare in the effort department, because I still get no friends.
@@radioclash84 So interesting how different points of view can be. I remember when I learnt that much of what I was told by japanese people was just "tatemae". I felt so betrayed. From then on, I saw japanese people as untrustworthy, the kind that don't say what they mean and hardly mean what they say. They come with a smile and pleasantries, but hide the knives behind their backs, ready to stab when convenient. To me, that's cowardice. It's much more honorable to bring out your weapons, put them on the table and speak frankly, with the dignity of equals, instead of patronising, manipulating with superficialities such as etiquette (a theatre of appearances) and empty words, in order to avoid the real deal. But I guess different cultures have different ideas of honor.
@@radioclash84 that's why there is always conflicts between asian and many westerners.
Don't worry. Even Japanese people themselves Don't make Japanese friends 😂. That was hilarious 🤣
I'm Japanese, but I find Meshida san's video so funny😂And quite true😅
His videos are hilarious! A lot of what he mentions reminds me of us Scandinavian people. I have a friend from Nagasaki who says that Japan is the Sweden of Asia and Sweden the Japan of Europe. Have you heard something similar?
@@unwnme well they have like a "town" in Japan. Thats build like Sweden. Swedish Houses style, Stores, and even celebrate Swedish traditions, and so on.. so yeh something in it is it.
Meshida is always funny,his videos should go instead of NHK World for foreigners
I've lived in Japan on and off for over ten years. I still learn stuff from Meshida-san.
Meshida-san once fought a tiger and saved my life. I'll never forget it.
This was actually very educational. I'm gonna remember these when I go to Japan next month.
I was at a bar in Japan and was talking to a Japanese local man than knew really good English. I offered to buy him a drink and he politely didn't accept. At the end of the night I told him it was nice talking to him and he gave me a hug. Yes he gave me a hug I was so shocked I didn't really know how to take it. In America its normal but in Japan it really was an eye opener. Sometimes I guess people just need a hug.
Japanese people really need a big warm bear hug!! (And.. also therapy sessions forever.. 😂😂)
And yet they find it super weird that brazilians hug and kiss on the first meeting as a way of greeting. They'd not criticise it so much if they really wanted hugs
Thanks for the tips! But, nah, I prefer to be myself rather than pressuring myself just to befriend with them
Very simple. On the subway pick out your new friend, scream "KOKUHAKU"!!!', run at them and give them a bear-hug. You'll have a friend for life, trust me.
I am lucky 😄 a Japanese student went to college in the UK and lived with my grandparents during my childhood and so we grew up together ❤️ she's like a sister to me and we stayed in touch when she returned to Japan. I'm going to Japan in September to visit her and maybe I'll come and see your comedy show, too, Meshida-san! ❤️
@@erw108 It's merely a comment, responding to the video's premise that it is difficult to make Japanese friends. It's a perfectly valid comment talking about MY experience with making a Japanese friend. We are all free here to talk about whatever we want, relevant or not. If you don't like my comment, then ignore it and move on to the next comment, there's no need to be rude. Perhaps you should learn more from Japanese society about being polite because you won't make any Japanese friends with this sort of attitude.
@@erw108 Wow, you're very hostile. There are other comments on here similar to mine but you didn't pick on them, only me. I have no problem with people challenging my comments but your response to my comment was weird, hostile, filled with possible envy and quite frankly unnecessary. I'm going to end this discussion here before it escalates into more nastiness because people like you have a toxic attitude and can't be reasoned with. Have a nice day.
worldwide people should fears more the japanese than giving them a praise they don't deserve because of their overabusive tatemae culture. even most people in my country show a little of their honne instead of always acting nice.
i like their products and how their country looks, but the persons themselves are just like waste of time to interact
This is probably one of the most difficult of things to navigate culture-to-culture. In Mainland China, it can be much easier to make closer friends if you are actually loud, bold, extroverted but fly over to Japan and they will be scared away. Go to Vietnam and again they may embrace you sooner if you're an outgoing enthusiastic type but drive over to Laos and you will scare them into hiding if you are the same sort of enthusiastic personality. This is also true in the Anglosphere to degrees and nuances. Canadians and Australians (and Americans too) will simply meet anywhere and immediately become friends, chat up a storm, share stuff BUT they will get halted in much of England where they tend to expect a kind of cold bubble and will get defensive if someone tries getting too close UNTIL, if you do warm up to them, if they unfreeze their shield, if you win them over slowly - you have a best friend for life until death. Brits tend to form exclusive but very loyal best friends and to death do they part.
If you take Mainland Chinas culture, it won't necessarily be that they don't easily accept 'foreigners' into a close friendship circle but it's that they form that early with their schoolmates and that circle they graduated in will be forever the circle of inside best friends but few outside that can ever enter that level of bonding and best friend loyalty and that would exclude some added friends later in life.
A Chinese spouse may very well consider the graduation circle of friends more important, closer and more loyal than their own spouse.
Maybe I should just make a video on this too. Just some thoughts.
These are the things we say in my country to Japanese tourists.
"Your English is great"
"Do you already have RadAway in your konbinis?"
"Sorry, I would love to have you over but we are out of rice."
"Sorry, but we already cooked the fish" LOL
Advice for making Japanese friends, from a Foreign Barbarian in Japan.
1. Join the same social circle. This could be something like a high school, or college sports club.
2. Offer help, if you can. Give your colleagues a hand, without asking. Respect+
3. If invited to something, dont refuse.
4. Look attractive. Japanese people are drawn to fair skin and blue eyes. If you a black dude, give up.
The last part - Emotional Damage
@@tsdfghjkl Thanks your comments is assuring.
@DarkMoonAngel49 I imagine that for Latin Americans too
Blacks should nigero from Japan.
Number 4 is not exclusive to the Japanese only, but also the rest of Asia especially those countries that were colonized by western powers back in the day.
Not gonna lie, seriously considering starting a "Gaijin friendly for hire" service. I will make it friendly, convenient, and they will never have to worry about us calling them to hang out. They call and book an appointment suitable for them 👍......🤣😄
They have that it’s called english conversation case lol
I wanna become your friend right now! 'cause you're going to be too popular for it very soon after
worldwide people should fears more the japanese than giving them a praise they don't deserve because of their overabusive tatemae culture. even most people in my country show a little of their honne instead of always acting nice.
i like their products and how their country looks, but the persons themselves are just like waste of time to interact , like if they still thinks they still lives during the isolated period of japan. very shameful during the 21th century. it's supposed to be a modern country , but people still have that middle age mindset and i dont understand why they recieve to of tourists.
i have enough of the japanese asking us to learn japanese without knowing our difficulties and they lack of forgiveness they would give us if we speak it poorly , and them pretenending they're good persons while in reality they only make gentle lies over over! don't date these people!
@@robertchandler2063so uh, where can I sign up for that? My English isn't that good but I don't think Japanese will notice it xD
worldwide people should fears more the japanese than giving them a praise they don't deserve because of their overabusive tatemae culture. even most people in my country show a little of their honne instead of always acting nice.
i like their products and how their country looks, but the persons themselves are just like waste of time to interact
This video seems legit, I still don't have Japanese friends since I started learning Japanese in 2008.
बहुत पहले नहीं, जापान में भारतीय त्योहार होली के लिए एक उत्सव था और ऐसा लग रहा था कि जापानी लोग भारतीय होली उत्सव के दौरान टोक्यो में भारतीयों के साथ जश्न मना रहे थे, दिलचस्प
They are over rated and often have serious insecurities. If you befriend them, get ready to be always on the edge because they are super sensitive.
Just see how they censor themselves online💩💩💩
worldwide people should fears more the japanese than giving them a praise they don't deserve because of their overabusive tatemae culture. even most people in my country show a little of their honne instead of always acting nice.
i like their products and how their country looks, but the persons themselves are just like waste of time to interact
0:12 This, this right here underlines the whole issue perfectly! making Japanese friends is super easy, making real Japanese friends after they enter the job market, especially if they are applying for or are hired by a 一流会社 (first class company)
You should def. add to the list *11. Don't use sarcasm*
Some people make friends there, others don’t. It’s different for everyone.
So as a Finn Japan would be perfect. I don't like talking much and prefer being disturbingly quiet to a point where i'm often yelled at for being too quiet and avoid people groups like a mythical pokemon. While i spend more time trying to understand and read the room than trying to be assertive xD
I was in Hong Kong and in a trainf rom the airport. Suddenly, a group of Western tourists got on board and started yelling and people looked at them. They immediately shut up.
good story.
Here’s special Thanks! Your videos are always 面白い👍🏼 As a foreigner who has lived in Japan for 30 yrs my suggestion to my fellow foreigners is: if you want to really enjoy living in Japan, then don’t expect to blend into the society and be accepted as “their own” because that might never happen. Living as a “gaikokujin” is very stress free👍🏼
Well said, that's so true
50_pips san
ありがとうございます！
bravo Mr Meshida you convinced us to not befriend japanese. you are very discouraging in your words. this just make me want to genralize every of your compatriots very negatively. i am sorry to say that.
Literally did this when I was in Japan this year. I spent years learning about the culture and "how to behave in Japan", but eventually using the gaijin pass in a bunch of situations really helped 😂
WHY WOULD WE DATE THEM IF THEYRE ALL TWOFACED
Knowing Japanese is the first requirement for having Japanese friends. Having good behavior also counts, in the sense of acting according to the moment, being funny at the right times and at other times taking things seriously. I hope to make new friends in Japan, I know most of the Japanese people in Brazil but I really want the opportunity to talk to natives
Meshida, your 10 tips are spot on!👍
Gaijin who complain they aren't treated like Japanese... clearly don't understand Japan...
Rush hour in Japan is 8pm. They aren’t lying when they say that they work too hard. It’s ridiculous. No wonder Japanese people don’t have friends and aren’t having babies, due to over work, they don’t have time.
your analysis may extend to the fact that Japan as a nation singlehandedly pays 20% of the UN budget. What country in that position (see also Germany) is not full of "hard working types"
i always want to make friends with japanese people but not long ago i change my mind & i just want to visit Japan as a tourists to Osaka, Okinawa, Kyoto & Tokyo with only one Japanese friend ie. Meshida😃
Great video. Right on topic. I'd add the expression "Out of sight, out of mind". Once you leave Japan, your Japanese "friends" will soon forget about you, no matter how you try to continue to correspond with them. You're only "useful" to them when you are in Japan.
Maybe it happens to Japanese people in Tokyo only. Other prefecture Japanese people are more open towards foreigners.
おはよう！貴重なアドバイスをいただきまして誠にありがとうございました。秋に一人で札幌に行くのですが、日本語を話したいです。私には日本人の友達がいて、日本人の精神性について少し知っていますが、それがとても好きです。札幌で日本人に会ったら日本語で話します。私はカナダ人で、フランス語が母国語です。カナダからこんにちは。ディディエ
ありがとうございます！
日本人はいい人多いので、楽しんでください！
Meshida, that's so true. I've lived in Osaka for almost 5 years. I experienced all the things that you mentioned. I understand all those things are being the part of Japanese culture, and I respect it. I had a bit lonely life in Japan but I truly enjoyed every bit of it. Good job Meshida, foreigners should know the reality....
Thank you very much Meshida for this video ^^ I have friends in Japan whom I met at school here in Finland. We still chat in social media and send and recieve cards to each other.
New headcanon: Meshida-san actually speaks impeccable English with a posh British accent but purposefully hides his power level to make more friends.
Also, now I just imagine every Japanese person I ever talked to secretly thinking "I'm too sober to talk with this gaijin", which makes me a little sad....
I'm Black...but the questions I get about learning Japanese are...exhausting. "Why do you want to learn Japanese? You can just speak English in Japan right?" "Are you going to live there?" "What's the point in learning it? It's too hard."
🙃🙃🙃 I promise I'm friendly (long as you're respectful 🤣) and I genuinely want to make friends. 一緒に練習して頑張ってくださいね。🤗
Greatly appreciated, Meshida-Sensei!
Mr Meshida, I want to be friend with you 😅🤣
Lie Chan's part was great hahaha
After living in Japan for nearly ten years the best advice I can give is accept you are an outsider and will never be fully accepted. However, that doesn’t mean you are a pariah, work on your language and cultural skills, recognize that you are a permanent guest and things are pretty good. I’ve also noticed a shift in recent years where more Japanese seem to be slightly more comfortable with foreigners.
Thanks for the valuable information about Japanese culture. Although you present it in a funny way it's important to know when meeting Japanese.
essentially Japanese society is one big trauma bonding session.
Incredible... a very good insight into Japanese people's thoughts and culture.
This guy knows what he's talking about. Not everyone might agree with everything he said but it depends on your own personal perspectives I guess. Still though, he's presenting it in a way that actually makes sense, telling the overall truth but not in a way that'll burst your bubble, you know?
😂 Not just Japanese people, every time when I hear someone says he/she is vegan, I roll my eyes.
😂
❤1970 growing up in Downey California. I meet Japanese American friends which are totally different from Japanese.
I grew up in America, i don't even make American friends. I guess I'm still more comfortable with asian.. though we speak different languages but share similar culture
Is not being in a club very popular in Japan? As a foreigner you could create an English + activity group. Then whenever you teach a phrase find out what the Japanese is for that phrase. You would learn Japanese and find people who share your interest in stealing women's underwear.
best plot twist
Mr Meshida is a fine analyst and presenter of Japanese society. And his skill to express complex things in English is better than that of rather many native English speakers.
That’s why us westerners get along with the Otaku and other really nerdy subcultures and dissidents the best instead of the corporate statist mainstream society. For me it’s people in the Otaku and history nerd subculture especially if they overlap like in Azur Lane. Or other Gacha games.
Meshida-san, I'm hoping you can make a video about the Japanese way of thinking: day-to-day, dreams and aspirations. I think people would appreciate understanding more the Japanese perspective about life.
It's all about the lanuage. After a day of hard work, people just want to relax and have good conversations; not to practice a foreign language. Imagine someone in US who speaks very little English. Speaking fluently a foreign language often means understanding the culture well. It might take longer and extra efforts, but if one can converse fluently and respect other culture's difference, one can make local friends.
You become fluent by practicing at every possible opportunity, including after a hard day of work, tho. If I'm able to write this in English, it's largely thanks to me doing just that.
one reason why i just praised myself in school. (classmates, teacher never understood WHY i did this) i said that no one else would, all the time, and praise is a good motivator for help for good work.
(also, no one else knew why i was better than everyone else in school. )
my classmates caught onto this, and i started making more friends, but my teachers hated me (not understanding how i finished my classes faster.
As a foreigner living in Japan for 7 years, I can attest to this, alas.
Meshida-San I have many Japanese friends after traveling a lot to japan since 2000. I have a core of close friends I'm close with in mainly Tokyo. Through them, I've met many other Japanese people and eventually became friends. It also helps that I speak Japanese. I also even attended a Japanese funeral and wedding this year for the first time.
When are you going to write a book? I think that it would sell well.
You're honest, informative and funny enough.
the "enough" is a neg
You’re awesome Meshida !!
Thanks 😊
In summary - you have more probability to be struck by lightning than to make Japanese friends
or if you do make them, know that they are secretly afraid of getting struck by lightning as a result.
I am Egyptian and I have been watching your videos and a lot of Japanese TH-camrs. The more I watch, the more I realize how totally opposite Egypt and Japan are in everything. it makes me wonder if I can ever make a Japanese friend. When Japanese people are quiet, Egyptians are loud, when Japanese people are shy, Egyptians are more direct, when Japanese people have this collective mindset, Egyptians are unyielding (it’s because of our long history with invaders). In Japan, talking about politics & religion is taboo, whereas in Egypt it’s not (to be honest, it’s because our whole lives revolve around these two, even though I personally think it is one of Egypt’s main problems). But personally, I abhor talking about politics as nothing good ever comes out of it. I will only answer some questions about religion if someone asks me about it.
Although I do disagree with one thing and that is to deny a compliment and humble oneself. I have tried that most of my life and it has done me more damage than good. It turned me into a negative, self-deprecating person with no courage. If I get complimented, I simply say “Thank you”. I find this to be the best response.
Even within Egyptian standards, I come off as “too shy, introverted, and quiet”. Maybe to a Japanese person, that would still be too direct and loud. I also have very thick skin so I don’t care much if people are too blunt with me. I would rather they say exactly what they mean because I have a hard time reading between the lines. If it happens that I make a Japanese friend, then it’s fine, if not it’s also fine. Friendships shouldn’t be forced or rushed.
Awesome i'm glad you're back with another video
12:41 So, that's why my Japanese friend's uncle is always dying...
My earliest "pulls" or attraction to Japan are Voltes V, Hikari Sentai Maskman, Choudenshi Bioman, Space Sheriff Shaider and Kamen Rider Black.
Years later, Ultraman.
Late 90s up until now, anime and manga.
It is a mixture of awe, fascination, and a bit of disheartening/disappointment.
Truth hurts, and I appreciate the brutal honesty.
With all sincerity, I admire and respect Japanese language, culture, and your model of hardwork and ingenuity.
Oh, add J-Pop.
I choose J-Pop anytime over K-Pop and its cultural impact.
May I really learn your language as one of ways to express appreciation and gratitude on how your culture has influenced more than half of my life.
When I was studying Japanese one of the most important things I learned was "社会人" (lit. "Society people"). It applies to 90% of the points you make in the video. Where in the west we value individualism, in Japan it's conformity. So, if you don't learn customs in addition to the language you will be ignored. There is another Japanese expression "出る杭は打たれる" (lit. "The stake that sticks out gets pounded down") that is commonly used for people who stand out or use bad manners. So if you are wondering why Japanese people won't accept friends who don't conform it has to do with 内外 (lit. The in-groups & out-groups) which is too long and complicated to explain but it would look bad on a typical Japanese person accepting someone as friend who is not 100% familiar Japanese customs. As a result they themselves could punished by other people they know for sticking their heads out.
It's very true. Many immigrants to Japan will get asked if they know how to use chopsticks about every day. Other questions include, "How long have you lived in Japan?" "What country are you from?" "What is your job?" "Your Japanese is good, how long have you studied?" Sometimes it's just a simple 「日本語が上手」
this is so self aware and funny
Just join one of those crazy Buddhists cults, I joined one and had a few friends there even though I don't speak Japanese at all and to this day, have no idea what I signed for.
😂😂
i was in japan a few days ago and inside the Ginza line, i remember hearing these japanese people who speak pretty loudly inside the train. Furthermore, a few weeks back i was also in Sapporo and i hear people pretty much yelling happily at the streets!
oumaigaaa
haha so true. Some of it reminds me when going out with my wife (Japanese) to some drinking places and get to talk with people somewhat around our age and she tries to make them befriend me and hang out at some point. Then exchange line and I'm like thinking "I don't think they actually want to lol, me neither" since probably no common interest and we are just drinking.
I understand she wants me to have friends here and it would be nice since the time difference makes it almost impossible to keep in touch with my friends in my home country, but it seems pretty much impossible.
I'm an introvert anyway and always have other interests I want to pursue on my own but I enjoy going out here way more than in my country and I understand I won't be making friends here for real and everyone is hiding what they think and "lie" to make the time just fun.
I learned 😮a lot and laughed a lot.😂 Thank you!😊
What is really friendship ? Is it showing a lot of emotions everyday to your friend? Sometimes i feel people have become a matter of fact with each other in some cultures.
I believe if you go to europe and particularly northern europe . Its very much like that. Although people arent polite , you wont feel warmth either everyday.
Japan is such nation. But they look entertaining to they attract people. But you dont understand its not a genuine leisurous romantic party nation for anime. Its all a show. Its a cultural performance.
Japan is about work achievment and performance.
Be professional useful and work hard in japan . I believe this increases trust but in the end japanese people work to live their happy life . You got to show you are truly long term reliable person in japan , you serve this country .
Japanese people have passion not when they relax . They have passion when they work. Be a professional person.
But stay polite . Be gentle calm yet motivated.
Japanese people make anime . Thats why you have anime. Japanese themselves are everyday busy doing ambitious stuff for a lifetime
Japanese friendship is actually intense partnership .
You are so interesting and funny! Please keep up the GREAT work!!
want to hang out meshida-san?
I'm in Osaka today and I think we got turned down at a restaurant because I was making a joke to my wife on the stairs to the restaurant and my loud ass laughed. I knew some of the things you're talking about but I'm trying to better as a visitor because it's hard to keep myself in check while I'm here lol
I don't have many friends so i use to hangout with my brothers
Point 4 is a bit difficult as everyone has their own preferences and things they can/can't do.
I will speak English to a Japanese person, they will become my friend to learn English and then I will suddenly start speaking Spanish exclusively.
In college I had Japanese friends who had a heart attack when they heard me answer el teléfono en español porque estaba hablando con mi abuela que nomas habla español. Les tomo un día completo para poder hablar con migo otra vez
I'm a New Yorker now living in New Jersey, and even here in America, I'm an outsider just living one state over. I have no friends at all, I just hang out with my cousin. But no matter where I am, I'm always an outsider. Even where I grew up in Brooklyn New York, is predominantly a Black neighborhood with some Hispanic, and very few White people. I did go to school in a White neighborhood, but even among White people, I'm treated as an outsider. Part of it has to do with the fact that I'm mixed raced, even though I'm White in appearance. I'm mostly White with some non-white heritage. I'm a mix of Italian, Irish, French, German, Blackfoot, Egyptian, and Ethiopian. But even though I'm pale white in skin tone, my gray eyes and multicolored hair, gives away the fact that I'm technically not White (just White passing). I do want to go to Japan someday, I honestly don't care if Japanese people treat me as an outsider, I'm already used to it. I'm an outsider even in my own local area!
Meh.... I'm American and I have a shit ton of Japanese friends. Both international Japanese and non English speakers. I'm even heading to Yamanashi tomorrow to film a Television commercial after being invited by one of my very close Japanese friends who is a film director. My advice is if you're foreign.... I know this sounds strange..... Go to live shows. Bands, music, theatre etc. There you will meet many Japanese who don't think so traditionally and are super into music and next thing you know, you guys are hanging out every month.
Being a foreign student in Tsukuba for quite a long time now, this has actually been the most depressing video I've seen in these years living here. I'm so glad I have a ton of foreign friends to hang out with until I leave this sinking ship 🤣
😂😂 I had Japanese classmates in high school. Megumi san and 大助 san... we talk3d in class but we never saw each other after school 😂😂
Number 8 is also a thing in America. Especially at large family gatherings, every family has that one relative that will start talking about politics. Even though nobody wants to talk about it.
Generally in conversations, most Americans agree to not bring up politics.
But there's always someone that wants to do it.
I think I’m turning Japanese- the 1980s song 😂
I really think so
The Vapors th-cam.com/video/nGy9uomagO4/w-d-xo.html
No wonder I seem to get along well with Japanese people on the internet.
Maybe the best way to make friends is to pick them from a group that's already willing to communicate and to understand with foreigners. This way I didn't have to deal with any Japanese who were not open minded.
I made a few Japanese penpals with Slowly and became close friends with two of them.
One visited last summer for a week (Germany and Belgium) and this year it's planned that she will be my "local tour guide" on a bike journey we're going to make together.
It's along the coastal bike paths, roughly from Kyoto to Hiroshima.
Fun fact: Whenever I tried to speak some Japanese, my friend praised the effort - and busted out laughing & told me to stick to English please 😂
Oh, I got invited by her Japanese colleagues and (sports) team mates too - but it was all tatemae. 🙄
So insightful - thank you
I guess for some it’s true, but I hadn’t had much problem in Japan. I have more Japanese friends than American. I’m also into JDM car culture and anime. Also I grew up strict southern baptist in the Appalachian mountains.
Also I’m half White and Native American, I’ve been mistaken for Japanese by many Japanese. Also they love my calm drawn southern accent. I think Height in Japan is something too. I’m 6”2 and muscular. Girls always at concerts or meets try touch my arms and giggle, also a lot of Japanese are interested in Gun’s, even though they are very hard to own in Japan. I have a wealth of gun knowledge and specs that come cascading out of my head. It’s always good to be polite and smile. Don’t take actions personally. I worked for a Japanese company for almost 10 years and made a lot of friends even with the owner and have went to many of there weddings and first child birth parties.
My Fiancé is also Japanese, very conservative woman and said she would never date or marry a foreigner. She’s also from a elite family I. Japan. But kindness and a smile with hood ole southern charm gets them every time.
Basically be yourself, it’s a great country and let things organically happen! 😜😎
This was a very useful video
7:04 now that is really an insult.
Americans wondering why, while people from Europe just nod their head.
I find these videos very funny because I'm living in Finland and I feel like our countries are a bit similar in some things :D
Thanks!
You should have more views, Meshida.
Dear foreigners, if you see someone like Ken san. Run! 🤣🤣🤣
Speaking of hard to make Japanese friend, if you are a male gaijin and want to make male Japanese friends, it’s almost impossible. I have been visiting and some long stay in Japan for over 20 years and have 0 male Japanese friends, but I do have several very good female Japanese friends.
oh so that's the trick!
These are the best videos on the Internet!!! They are so good! Thank you!
Now I do understand more about Japanese and I'll try to use it to gain more friends :)
Funny and useful video. Thanks❤