You talk at one point about the victim's perspective. Well, possibly that perspective shifts, because one of the biggest problems getting a victim to communicate is getting past the damage done to the trust mechanism. They become aware that they were victims - not willing participants - and that revelation leads to the inevitable conclusion the system failed them: Parents, tormentors, police and the court system let them down. That recognition at first is this difficult equation: Either the system is not designed to protect "nymphettes" and other victims, or that the abuse is not actually illegal or wrong. The former leads to bitterness while the latter is deep cynicism, and perhaps a contempt for the law. Get past that (and the associated guilt) and maybe just maybe you can try to rebuild something.
I think what Yanagihara does best is putting us in the position of Wilhelm. We're not forced to try and understand Jude, but we grow to love him and we feel the same frustration with him as the people in his life often do. She doesn't sugarcoat how difficult it can be to live with people with mental health issues and trauma - she conveys how frustrating it can be, how hard communication is, and how ultimately we can't ever expect to understand what someone has been through, but we can only listen and acknowledge. On the same note, I think the length and heaviness of the book works in its favour because it is a very active book, not a passive one. It requires patience and commitment, and the ability to acknlowedge the reality of painful stories. One of Jude's worries throughout the book is that he is "too much" for his friends, that he is a burden, which is why I feel it's important to get through this book, to stick with a story which is ultimately painful and heartbreaking and often even evokes a physical reaction, because otherwise we are acting just as Jude fears we will. We have to resist the temptation to isolate oneself from these stories - which is why I think branding this book "trauma porn" simply invalidates the very real experiences of many. This attitude towards the book makes me realise that Jude's worry that he is "too much" isn't necessarily him being a frustrating character, but is unfortunately a very real and valid worry, because we live in a society where the truth is often seen as "too much", and is ignored in favour of an easier outlook on life. That doesn't just apply to Jude's life, of course, but also to elements of life today, with awful things happening worldwide - there is a very human temptation to isolate ourselves from these heavy topics, but like Wilhelm, we should try our hardest to acknowledge them. Also, disclaimer, I talk about the importance of trying to read this book but that is just a general message and in no way applies to those who may find it triggering due to their experiences ❤
Hey people must really like your channel because it came up in my feed for the first time. I am not a reader but I would like to be. Thank you for this review. I was sexually molested as a child so I don’t think I’ll be reading this book in particular. I have enjoyed watching “Soft white underbelly” many many times. There is something about seeing the actual person and hearing about the traumas they have experienced that make it easy for me to take in for some reason. Maybe there is some feeling of kinship of the suffering. Because of life experiences and such content I came to understand that I am far far from alone in my own personal trauma. That others have had to endure things that are unfathomably more challenging than what I may have experienced. I have subscribed to your channel and look forward to hearing the review that makes me pick up a book again. Thank you.
Thank you so much for watching and I'm glad you enjoyed this review! That's such a good point - there is a "kinship" I think, that comes with hearing similar stories. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and subscribing - much appreciated!
I love that you mention happiness. I read a title of a Hindu book that actually shocked me in a strange way. It was Happiness Is Serious Business. And I ended up having dinner at the restaurant, which also sold these books thinking about this and realized it's true. B/c when people are happy they don't do awful things. It shocked me b/c I had a pretty violent upbringing and it took me years to realize, that wasn't normal. Years. People would tell me I'm harsh and I'd wonder what they're talking about. It still happens sometimes. What I love about Jude is that he becomes a lawyer; he survives his abuse and serves society. I don't think people realize how hard that is. I spend months at an Ashram full of people with horrible stories who know what to do but can't do it; can't move on emotionally. Wilhem was my favourite character b/c it is his love that makes it possible for Jude to exist. Thanks for the recommendation. I also loved the writing in this novel; pulled me right in. One book which I found more graphic than this one was ONE CHILD. That was harder to read. It starts off with a 6 year old girl who sets a 3 year old boy on fire. And it's a memoir; not a novel. I know you're trying to scale down on your reading, but if you ever do come across it, it's great. I can't do these books ATM. It's been a bit of a blue winter. I'm rereading Edith Wharton b/c her style is so warm.
@@alanaestelle2076 Age of innocence is my fave. I've read it 4 times. I only read The House of mirth in 2022 and I liked it. I did not love it the same as Age of Innocence, but I loved Lily's story and how awful it was for women before when marriage meant income. What I find most awful about patriarchy is that it makes enemies out of women towards each other because it is all a competition. Who gets who and how much money that means. Ellen is the only person who is forced through horrific circumstances to see outside this box and teaches Newland to see outside it. Unfortunately it is often suffering that changes the world
I had to stop at a certain point it was a lot emotionally so I am tremendously grateful for your review. I plan to pick it up again when I’m in a better place mentally
Thanks Alana! I have around 200 pages left to read in A Little Life and at this point I was feeling like I needed to hear some discussion and critique on the book. I’m glad I found you! Thanks for being so articulate and thoughtful about this very demanding and yet rewarding piece of writing.
Another TH-camr read this novel and mentioned that parts were hard. I looked up the title so I could find out more about it before I tried it. I really enjoyed your review. I'm still on the fence but feel better informed. I too watch Soft White Underbelly. Many of the videos are so compelling, exposing me to so many different people. I really like the way Mark allows people tell their stories, but is ready to jump in with question if he or she needs it. I looked at some of your past videos and noticed many I look forward to watching as I can. However Play It As It Lays caught my eye. Joan Didion is my favorite author. Play It As It Lays was introduced to me by a new friend in sixth grade. I enjoyed her novels as well as her books that collected essays. I am excited that I found your channel and I look forward to exploring more of your videos.
Thank you so much for watching and I’m glad that you found my review helpful. And thank you so much for checking out my other videos, I really appreciate it!
I have not read this book but I can infer. My mom did foster care for years and I've heard all kind of stories. Someone who says that these things don't happen are living in Lala land. Even without knowledge of the foster system , just living in this world would show me heinous things happen.
You admit lack of knowledge yet dismiss people's opinion so readily ? I understand that abuse can be a cycle but the way it's happening in the book is just not realistic, how is every person you meet an abuser and every good person die ? I stopped taking the book seriously after the third time it's like ah yes of course another one, another one, another one. Unless jude is actively searching for those people I just dont see how this book is realistic. Jude has no flaw, he just seems like a perfect puppet for performative suffering. He's just a victim. The author did little research on mental illness and openly "mistrusts talk therapy which operates under the idea that no depressed patient should die by suicide" and that some professionals should help their patients just die bc they cannot be repaired how nice is that ? :)
👏👏👏👏👏👏 Girl you NAILED this!! I'm so glad you have a counterpoint to all the "PC" usage of the words "trauma p*rn". Most definitely there are people out there who lived and are living with situations described that Jude went through. Mild spoilers: I loved Wilhelm and Jude's father because they NEVER gave up on him. I actually identified with them constantly trying to convince Jude that he was safe and loved, because my mother was abused (not in these manners but enough...) and she is 76 and still deals with the trauma she went through with an alcoholic stepmother plus my father's mother "tried" stuff too. I "loved" this book but not sure i could ever reread it.
Thank you for this review. This book has been on my list I just haven’t been able to get to it. I live in NYC and work in the criminal justice field. These topics do not scare me at all. I work with clients that have had the worst abuse since birth…..I am very well aware of Soft White Underbelly. The worst stories told on abuse and trauma on the internet. But I have to be honest, I am more concerned about Mark Laila. I have seen him on several podcast and there is something disturbing about a very successful photographer, good looking white man interviewing young women almost totally naked. I could be totally wrong about him. Although his content is real and eye opening on the subject of drug addiction, homelessness, sex workers and the trauma these people have endured, I wonder what his intentions are.
Yea, there has been speculation about Laita, but it's one of those "chew up the fish and spit out the bones." Since we don't really know what's going on in his head haha.
How did i not know that about the cover photo?? Loved the analysis. I'm gonna get over my fear and read it. Can't be worse than The People in the Trees... can it? 😅
I had to come back to this thread now that I have the book. I'm about 3/4 done and I'm finding it hard to keep going. I didn't anticipate being awakened in the middle of the night thinking of the horrors of Jude's life. I hope the ending will be worth it. It's a beautiful novel and a difficult read for sure.
I had to put the book down for 10 days when I was at the last 14 pages of the book and I just finished today. It was definitely worth it and I'm glad I read it. It was pretty good.
It is. I overall liked the book. There were points where I loved the book and times I hated it. There were times I liked, even admired Jude and times where he annoyed me to the point of walking away from the book. Yanagihara certainly does her job. Thanks for the recommendation and analysis.
This review and analysis is underrated. Your articulation and thought put into it is delicate, and I greatly appreciate your counter to the “trauma p***” reviews because I’ve felt the same as you and have not been able to put it into words effectively just how “naive” it is to believe lives like Jude’s have not been lived, and that it shouldn’t be represented in art. As if we can gatekeep art and literature whenever it makes us feel uncomfortable and challenges our beliefs.
Trauma is a tricky thing. I have always thought this novel fell onto the misery porn side of the fence, but in retrospect I think that because of the things I read in my day job it was triggering for me. While I wish I hadn't read this book, I will say that Hana Yanagihara can write.
Ive read the book and ive obviously got a high tolerance of abuse etc too because im 56 amd ive lived life. I can understand that some people would find it too difficult to read but sad. Spoliers The story isn't just about abuse, its about the beauty of relationships despite the horrendous conditions that develop them. What these people have are love and understanding that most never experience. Initially i was annoyed with Jude for not seeking professional help but by the end, i understood. Its the same with Willem, he was arrogant to think he could save Jude but he seemed to reach an acceptance that he couldn't but he could love him and be there which he did. Even Harold at the end, selfishly refusing to let Jude go. I was surprised when Willem died but the end was inevitable, you knew what the outcome would be. I felt most for Jude for those 3 years alone. People will say what about the abuse but i feel Jude was most lost without that one person who loved and accepted everything about him which i feel eventually Willem did. Jude was empty, there was absolutely no reason for him to carry on. Should you put all your life into another person? I don't know but Willem gave him a reason to go on. The sad part is that Jude finally left still apologising and that Harold could never put that right, as much as he had already tried. I didn't find the story too much, or too long and I will say whilst it didn't make me cry...it certainly has left an imprint. Its a book you will never forget. That partly is due to the fact that there are Judes and Willems in this world and most likely Judes that never find what Jude actually did. There are children that suffer unspeakable treatment and the world just seems to close its eyes. People who are so blind to this need to really wake up and see what is happening. Cloud fluffy land is a lie. Ugh and what JB did, i found that to be a truly awful thing to do. He was someone Jude never thought he had to mistrust. That's my thoughts. Love it or hate it, it's not a book you are going to forget in a hurry and isn't that kind of the point?
I've also read some of your other comments. I read this without knowing who the author was and I finished thinking she must of done a ton of research or has experience because she has portrayed a totally realistic story. I haven't lived life in a bubble, I grew up in the care system in the 80s in the UK and it wasn't great. Foster parents were even worse. If this book was all her imagination then I think she did a good job.
@@sofasocks666 ikr, like even jb’s aunt has a girlfriend and when i read that i thought hanya meant girlfriend as “best friend” but nooo 😂 no one is straight in that novel and i smell loads of queerbaiting too
I capital-H Hated it, but a lot of very smart people capital-L Loved it. It got shortlisted for the Booker Prize. Interestingly (I think) I'm one of the few people who hated it less because I was offended by, it and more because I simply couldn't believe in it. The plot stretched credibility WAY too far for me. In the end I was just bored (and oh dear God 800 pages is a LONG stretch to be bored with). Someone said that it's like watching Gray's Anatomy in that you just have to suspend your disbelief at the plot to enjoy it. I suppose I'm just too literal minded, because I don't like Gray's Anatomy either for similar reasons. If you love it, great, but for me, I wish I hadn't bothered. It's a book that people either give one or five stars to, I've seen reviews that pan it and reviews that adore it, and I think the discussions around it generate publicity for it. To each their own.
I am reading the book now, I have not finished the book yet. What I have read so far and what makes it sad is that is about life. Life not being fair, life not being beautiful all the time, the struggles people go through throughout their life time.
Your talk about love, and the five Greek words for love reminds me of this quote “Love is a Christian word, Anjin-san. Love is a Christian thought, a Christian ideal. We have no word for 'love' as I understand you to mean it. Duty, loyalty, honor, respect, desire, those words and thoughts are what we have, all that we need.” ― James Clavell, Shōgun
How society can fail others, because it is sick itself. Dealing in "normal" society is corrupt and brutal. You need to define yourself and align with it, no matter what happened to you.
Very interesting thoughts! On a lighter note, to me this is the most annoying book cover of the last decade 😅 That lemon-juice-squeezed-in-the-eyes guy has kept me away from this book.
Im sorry but 'A Lolita Life' is such a good description of this book. Although I do agree with that this book is realistc, i do think its a gratuitous story.
Super boring, in my opinion. I think the characters were created as women and in the end they were given men's names to make men look more “sensitive.” That's why women are empathizing more with the main characters. Men don't face problems like that. I also think that the author uses Jude to manipulate the readers' emotions. It's like, he only exists to have bad things happen to him and victimize himself over and over again.
Your points are interesting, however I believe the author wrote the characters as male from the onset. What do you mean, 'men don't face problems like that'? I'm not critiquing your viewpoint, I just need clarification, explanation because it sounds quite essentialist.
@@wolfhrds what, the novel or my comment? I was just wondering about the declaration 'men don't face problems like this'....all men? The point about the author first 'writing the characters as women'...I found interesting as well as puzzling? Why. As I write, it isn't a critique of someone's point, just interest and particularly the generic ideas.
This book is problematic in so many ways it's tiring😅... Can't even begin to unpack, but the interviews with the writer tell A LOT, lemme just put it that way... At moments its almost like a fetishising text for sado-masochist voyers.... And furthermore the writer proudly w/o any shame announces that she made ZERO research before making a 1000 page book about the struggles of a disabled person, an asexual person, several gay characters...black characters....while she herself is NONE of those things 😅..... the Jude character is basically like an empty vessel for her projections about disabled ppl. Zero personality beyond the pain. Seriously? I'm just waiting for more decent reviews.... Don't believe the hype ppl! Use your time for way better words than this brick of bull. This reviewer sums it up quite well: th-cam.com/video/x4ljPIQyyCM/w-d-xo.htmlsi=7erpJvf3mYeTVB1T
The lack of research is really jaw dropping. The author states that they were not trying to be realistic, and for me, Hoo Boy, goal achieved. If people like it, I don't automatically think that they're dumb, though, a lot of very smart people like it. As I said above, people tend to give it either one star or five stars. I think it's intentional that the discussion around it will generate buzz and boost sales.
I haven't watched the video yet, but I've been reading a lot of the comments, and I just want to say one thing. I HATE WILLEM. I hate him with every fiber of my being. Can someone please explain to me how they see him in a positive light?
@@alanaestelle2076 I hate him because he actively harms Jude and makes excuses for it. Willem knows that something is wrong with Jude and something happened in his past but he still does things to make him uncomfortable because Willem thinks he is, quote, "is too stupid to understand it". And it's fine for Willem to be a complex character but my problem is that the book tries so hard to frame him as "good". And I will also never get over what he did to Jude and Harold's house. You don't throw razor blades at your significant other, like what? But I feel like Andy also falls into this category, all those two do is enable Jude and didn't properly help him until it was too late. (But I mostly think that's a problem with the book itself. If the author doesn't believe in therapy, they'll never write the character getting help). Sorry that this turned into a whole rant 😅
You talk at one point about the victim's perspective. Well, possibly that perspective shifts, because one of the biggest problems getting a victim to communicate is getting past the damage done to the trust mechanism. They become aware that they were victims - not willing participants - and that revelation leads to the inevitable conclusion the system failed them: Parents, tormentors, police and the court system let them down. That recognition at first is this difficult equation: Either the system is not designed to protect "nymphettes" and other victims, or that the abuse is not actually illegal or wrong. The former leads to bitterness while the latter is deep cynicism, and perhaps a contempt for the law. Get past that (and the associated guilt) and maybe just maybe you can try to rebuild something.
This is beautifully expressed. Thank you!
Nicely stated!
I think what Yanagihara does best is putting us in the position of Wilhelm. We're not forced to try and understand Jude, but we grow to love him and we feel the same frustration with him as the people in his life often do. She doesn't sugarcoat how difficult it can be to live with people with mental health issues and trauma - she conveys how frustrating it can be, how hard communication is, and how ultimately we can't ever expect to understand what someone has been through, but we can only listen and acknowledge.
On the same note, I think the length and heaviness of the book works in its favour because it is a very active book, not a passive one. It requires patience and commitment, and the ability to acknlowedge the reality of painful stories. One of Jude's worries throughout the book is that he is "too much" for his friends, that he is a burden, which is why I feel it's important to get through this book, to stick with a story which is ultimately painful and heartbreaking and often even evokes a physical reaction, because otherwise we are acting just as Jude fears we will.
We have to resist the temptation to isolate oneself from these stories - which is why I think branding this book "trauma porn" simply invalidates the very real experiences of many. This attitude towards the book makes me realise that Jude's worry that he is "too much" isn't necessarily him being a frustrating character, but is unfortunately a very real and valid worry, because we live in a society where the truth is often seen as "too much", and is ignored in favour of an easier outlook on life. That doesn't just apply to Jude's life, of course, but also to elements of life today, with awful things happening worldwide - there is a very human temptation to isolate ourselves from these heavy topics, but like Wilhelm, we should try our hardest to acknowledge them.
Also, disclaimer, I talk about the importance of trying to read this book but that is just a general message and in no way applies to those who may find it triggering due to their experiences ❤
This is by far the best review of this book that I've seen, you hit the nail on the head - thank you for this
Thank you!
I agree!!!! ❤
Hey people must really like your channel because it came up in my feed for the first time. I am not a reader but I would like to be. Thank you for this review. I was sexually molested as a child so I don’t think I’ll be reading this book in particular. I have enjoyed watching “Soft white underbelly” many many times. There is something about seeing the actual person and hearing about the traumas they have experienced that make it easy for me to take in for some reason. Maybe there is some feeling of kinship of the suffering. Because of life experiences and such content I came to understand that I am far far from alone in my own personal trauma. That others have had to endure things that are unfathomably more challenging than what I may have experienced. I have subscribed to your channel and look forward to hearing the review that makes me pick up a book again. Thank you.
Thank you so much for watching and I'm glad you enjoyed this review! That's such a good point - there is a "kinship" I think, that comes with hearing similar stories. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and subscribing - much appreciated!
As per existential novels of how our "various many selves floating out there", I recommend _Steppenwolf_ by Herman Hesse. A book for deep thinkers
Ooooh thanks for the rec!
Great review, Alana. I will continue to sit this one out for now. I'll need to be in a certain mood for this as I cry easily reading emotional books.
Definitely have to be in the right head space for this one.
I love that you mention happiness. I read a title of a Hindu book that actually shocked me in a strange way. It was Happiness Is Serious Business. And I ended up having dinner at the restaurant, which also sold these books thinking about this and realized it's true. B/c when people are happy they don't do awful things. It shocked me b/c I had a pretty violent upbringing and it took me years to realize, that wasn't normal. Years. People would tell me I'm harsh and I'd wonder what they're talking about. It still happens sometimes. What I love about Jude is that he becomes a lawyer; he survives his abuse and serves society. I don't think people realize how hard that is. I spend months at an Ashram full of people with horrible stories who know what to do but can't do it; can't move on emotionally. Wilhem was my favourite character b/c it is his love that makes it possible for Jude to exist. Thanks for the recommendation. I also loved the writing in this novel; pulled me right in. One book which I found more graphic than this one was ONE CHILD. That was harder to read. It starts off with a 6 year old girl who sets a 3 year old boy on fire. And it's a memoir; not a novel. I know you're trying to scale down on your reading, but if you ever do come across it, it's great. I can't do these books ATM. It's been a bit of a blue winter. I'm rereading Edith Wharton b/c her style is so warm.
I haven't heard of One Child! And I really need to read some Wharton!
@@alanaestelle2076 Age of innocence is my fave. I've read it 4 times. I only read The House of mirth in 2022 and I liked it. I did not love it the same as Age of Innocence, but I loved Lily's story and how awful it was for women before when marriage meant income. What I find most awful about patriarchy is that it makes enemies out of women towards each other because it is all a competition. Who gets who and how much money that means. Ellen is the only person who is forced through horrific circumstances to see outside this box and teaches Newland to see outside it. Unfortunately it is often suffering that changes the world
I had to stop at a certain point it was a lot emotionally so I am tremendously grateful for your review. I plan to pick it up again when I’m in a better place mentally
Thank you for watching! It's definitely a book that requires being in a certain headspace.
Video on how you annotate your books? ...please!
That’s a goal for me this year - to record that video! 🙌🏼
I bought it because like you I wanted to know what people are talking about but now I’m looking forward to reading it after your review.
haha right!? So much hype around this! I hope you "enjoy" this one - even though it is bleak.
Thanks Alana! I have around 200 pages left to read in A Little Life and at this point I was feeling like I needed to hear some discussion and critique on the book. I’m glad I found you! Thanks for being so articulate and thoughtful about this very demanding and yet rewarding piece of writing.
Aw thank you so much; I'm glad you found my review helpful!
This is an excellent review! I have not had an interest to read this novel until I watched your video. Can’t wait to read it!
Thank you! Ah, let me know what you think!
Thank you for this review, Alana. This was very validating.
I’m glad! Thank you for watching!
Loved this! 100% agree.
Another TH-camr read this novel and mentioned that parts were hard. I looked up the title so I could find out more about it before I tried it. I really enjoyed your review. I'm still on the fence but feel better informed.
I too watch Soft White Underbelly. Many of the videos are so compelling, exposing me to so many different people. I really like the way Mark allows people tell their stories, but is ready to jump in with question if he or she needs it.
I looked at some of your past videos and noticed many I look forward to watching as I can. However Play It As It Lays caught my eye. Joan Didion is my favorite author. Play It As It Lays was introduced to me by a new friend in sixth grade. I enjoyed her novels as well as her books that collected essays.
I am excited that I found your channel and I look forward to exploring more of your videos.
Thank you so much for watching and I’m glad that you found my review helpful. And thank you so much for checking out my other videos, I really appreciate it!
I have not read this book but I can infer. My mom did foster care for years and I've heard all kind of stories. Someone who says that these things don't happen are living in Lala land. Even without knowledge of the foster system , just living in this world would show me heinous things happen.
Wheeew the foster care system is ... a mess. So true, it doesn't take much to realize that the world is crazy.
You admit lack of knowledge yet dismiss people's opinion so readily ?
I understand that abuse can be a cycle but the way it's happening in the book is just not realistic, how is every person you meet an abuser and every good person die ?
I stopped taking the book seriously after the third time it's like ah yes of course another one, another one, another one.
Unless jude is actively searching for those people I just dont see how this book is realistic.
Jude has no flaw, he just seems like a perfect puppet for performative suffering. He's just a victim.
The author did little research on mental illness and openly "mistrusts talk therapy which operates under the idea that no depressed patient should die by suicide" and that some professionals should help their patients just die bc they cannot be repaired how nice is that ? :)
👏👏👏👏👏👏 Girl you NAILED this!! I'm so glad you have a counterpoint to all the "PC" usage of the words "trauma p*rn". Most definitely there are people out there who lived and are living with situations described that Jude went through.
Mild spoilers:
I loved Wilhelm and Jude's father because they NEVER gave up on him. I actually identified with them constantly trying to convince Jude that he was safe and loved, because my mother was abused (not in these manners but enough...) and she is 76 and still deals with the trauma she went through with an alcoholic stepmother plus my father's mother "tried" stuff too.
I "loved" this book but not sure i could ever reread it.
Thank you!!!
HAROLD IS THE BEST!! Harold deserves his own video!
Library looks good. Best wishes with your reading choices, I hope they make you happy.
Thank you!
Tysm for the review x
Thanks for watching!
Thank you for this review. This book has been on my list I just haven’t been able to get to it. I live in NYC and work in the criminal justice field. These topics do not scare me at all. I work with clients that have had the worst abuse since birth…..I am very well aware of Soft White Underbelly. The worst stories told on abuse and trauma on the internet. But I have to be honest, I am more concerned about Mark Laila. I have seen him on several podcast and there is something disturbing about a very successful photographer, good looking white man interviewing young women almost totally naked. I could be totally wrong about him. Although his content is real and eye opening on the subject of drug addiction, homelessness, sex workers and the trauma these people have endured, I wonder what his intentions are.
Yea, there has been speculation about Laita, but it's one of those "chew up the fish and spit out the bones." Since we don't really know what's going on in his head haha.
How did i not know that about the cover photo?? Loved the analysis. I'm gonna get over my fear and read it. Can't be worse than The People in the Trees... can it? 😅
Thank you! I haven't read The People in the Trees. Is it ... wild?!
This review makes me want to cry. My copy needs to hurry up and get here!
Aw, wow! I hope you enjoy - for lack of a better work for a book like this - this novel!
I had to come back to this thread now that I have the book. I'm about 3/4 done and I'm finding it hard to keep going. I didn't anticipate being awakened in the middle of the night thinking of the horrors of Jude's life. I hope the ending will be worth it. It's a beautiful novel and a difficult read for sure.
I had to put the book down for 10 days when I was at the last 14 pages of the book and I just finished today. It was definitely worth it and I'm glad I read it. It was pretty good.
@@MrsDetroit622 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 the end is rough
It is. I overall liked the book. There were points where I loved the book and times I hated it. There were times I liked, even admired Jude and times where he annoyed me to the point of walking away from the book. Yanagihara certainly does her job. Thanks for the recommendation and analysis.
This review and analysis is underrated. Your articulation and thought put into it is delicate, and I greatly appreciate your counter to the “trauma p***” reviews because I’ve felt the same as you and have not been able to put it into words effectively just how “naive” it is to believe lives like Jude’s have not been lived, and that it shouldn’t be represented in art. As if we can gatekeep art and literature whenever it makes us feel uncomfortable and challenges our beliefs.
Thank you so much! And yes, I agree. Art is often inspired by real life. Why sugar coat?
Trauma is a tricky thing. I have always thought this novel fell onto the misery porn side of the fence, but in retrospect I think that because of the things I read in my day job it was triggering for me. While I wish I hadn't read this book, I will say that Hana Yanagihara can write.
Ive read the book and ive obviously got a high tolerance of abuse etc too because im 56 amd ive lived life. I can understand that some people would find it too difficult to read but sad.
Spoliers
The story isn't just about abuse, its about the beauty of relationships despite the horrendous conditions that develop them. What these people have are love and understanding that most never experience.
Initially i was annoyed with Jude for not seeking professional help but by the end, i understood. Its the same with Willem, he was arrogant to think he could save Jude but he seemed to reach an acceptance that he couldn't but he could love him and be there which he did. Even Harold at the end, selfishly refusing to let Jude go.
I was surprised when Willem died but the end was inevitable, you knew what the outcome would be. I felt most for Jude for those 3 years alone. People will say what about the abuse but i feel Jude was most lost without that one person who loved and accepted everything about him which i feel eventually Willem did. Jude was empty, there was absolutely no reason for him to carry on.
Should you put all your life into another person? I don't know but Willem gave him a reason to go on.
The sad part is that Jude finally left still apologising and that Harold could never put that right, as much as he had already tried.
I didn't find the story too much, or too long and I will say whilst it didn't make me cry...it certainly has left an imprint. Its a book you will never forget. That partly is due to the fact that there are Judes and Willems in this world and most likely Judes that never find what Jude actually did. There are children that suffer unspeakable treatment and the world just seems to close its eyes. People who are so blind to this need to really wake up and see what is happening. Cloud fluffy land is a lie.
Ugh and what JB did, i found that to be a truly awful thing to do. He was someone Jude never thought he had to mistrust.
That's my thoughts.
Love it or hate it, it's not a book you are going to forget in a hurry and isn't that kind of the point?
If you don't want to read it again, try the audible version because Oliver Wyman reads it and he does a tremendous job. It's 32hrs long.
I've also read some of your other comments. I read this without knowing who the author was and I finished thinking she must of done a ton of research or has experience because she has portrayed a totally realistic story. I haven't lived life in a bubble, I grew up in the care system in the 80s in the UK and it wasn't great. Foster parents were even worse.
If this book was all her imagination then I think she did a good job.
The book is great, but why is no one mentioning the EXCESSIVE amount of queerness in this book?? Like gurl make it realistic ffs
i thought this about the main cast but also particularly all those truckers between states
@@sofasocks666 ikr, like even jb’s aunt has a girlfriend and when i read that i thought hanya meant girlfriend as “best friend” but nooo 😂 no one is straight in that novel and i smell loads of queerbaiting too
when you mentioned hearing stories of peoples experiences that resembled jude’s and even were worse the my first thought was soft white underbelly
Yes! Such a resemblance!
I capital-H Hated it, but a lot of very smart people capital-L Loved it. It got shortlisted for the Booker Prize. Interestingly (I think) I'm one of the few people who hated it less because I was offended by, it and more because I simply couldn't believe in it. The plot stretched credibility WAY too far for me. In the end I was just bored (and oh dear God 800 pages is a LONG stretch to be bored with). Someone said that it's like watching Gray's Anatomy in that you just have to suspend your disbelief at the plot to enjoy it. I suppose I'm just too literal minded, because I don't like Gray's Anatomy either for similar reasons. If you love it, great, but for me, I wish I hadn't bothered. It's a book that people either give one or five stars to, I've seen reviews that pan it and reviews that adore it, and I think the discussions around it generate publicity for it. To each their own.
I am reading the book now, I have not finished the book yet. What I have read so far and what makes it sad is that is about life. Life not being fair, life not being beautiful all the time, the struggles people go through throughout their life time.
Yes! So true!
I followed soft white underbelly a couple of months ago. Watched their episode about a Dom/collared sub relationship.
I hated this book. It was trite, pretentious, and done to fit a formula.
To each their own.
thank you for discussing the Trauma P thing, because I could not understand how people were saying stuff like "this doesnt happen in real life"
you mentioned this was one of your favourite contemporary books; id love a video on other contemporary favourites
Ooooh good idea!
Your talk about love, and the five Greek words for love reminds me of this quote
“Love is a Christian word, Anjin-san. Love is a Christian thought, a Christian ideal. We have no word for 'love' as I understand you to mean it. Duty, loyalty, honor, respect, desire, those words and thoughts are what we have, all that we need.” ― James Clavell, Shōgun
Thank you! I definitely need to read more Nabokov.
Nabokov?
It's very easy for life to get derailed, and it happens every single day.
So true!!
How society can fail others, because it is sick itself. Dealing in "normal" society is corrupt and brutal. You need to define yourself and align with it, no matter what happened to you.
Very interesting thoughts! On a lighter note, to me this is the most annoying book cover of the last decade 😅 That lemon-juice-squeezed-in-the-eyes guy has kept me away from this book.
LOOOL! This cover is definitely ... something HAHAHA
Sorry but this book's overrated
Im sorry but 'A Lolita Life' is such a good description of this book.
Although I do agree with that this book is realistc, i do think its a gratuitous story.
@@Samuel-hd3cp lol it is 🤣
All said and fictionized stories are only half of what could have happened and what actually happened.
Mark Laita is a bit sus, I think look into him a little before deciding if you want to continue supporting his channel
I'm aware of the criticisms.
Super boring, in my opinion. I think the characters were created as women and in the end they were given men's names to make men look more “sensitive.” That's why women are empathizing more with the main characters. Men don't face problems like that. I also think that the author uses Jude to manipulate the readers' emotions. It's like, he only exists to have bad things happen to him and victimize himself over and over again.
Your points are interesting, however I believe the author wrote the characters as male from the onset. What do you mean, 'men don't face problems like that'? I'm not critiquing your viewpoint, I just need clarification, explanation because it sounds quite essentialist.
what the hell ?? this is the most inhumane thing i have ever read
@@wolfhrds what, the novel or my comment? I was just wondering about the declaration 'men don't face problems like this'....all men? The point about the author first 'writing the characters as women'...I found interesting as well as puzzling? Why. As I write, it isn't a critique of someone's point, just interest and particularly the generic ideas.
@@Journalistwoman oh god not your comment im sorry, i was refering to the og commenter, i agree with your comment actually.
Too much rambling. Get to your points!
I do what I want over here. It's my channel ;)
He exploits the people on soft white underbelly. I stopped watching it awhile ago.
I have wondered this myself. And I know it's a big criticism he gets.
This book is problematic in so many ways it's tiring😅... Can't even begin to unpack, but the interviews with the writer tell A LOT, lemme just put it that way... At moments its almost like a fetishising text for sado-masochist voyers.... And furthermore the writer proudly w/o any shame announces that she made ZERO research before making a 1000 page book about the struggles of a disabled person, an asexual person, several gay characters...black characters....while she herself is NONE of those things 😅..... the Jude character is basically like an empty vessel for her projections about disabled ppl. Zero personality beyond the pain. Seriously? I'm just waiting for more decent reviews.... Don't believe the hype ppl! Use your time for way better words than this brick of bull. This reviewer sums it up quite well:
th-cam.com/video/x4ljPIQyyCM/w-d-xo.htmlsi=7erpJvf3mYeTVB1T
No two people read the same book. Some are not going to like it and others will.
The lack of research is really jaw dropping. The author states that they were not trying to be realistic, and for me, Hoo Boy, goal achieved. If people like it, I don't automatically think that they're dumb, though, a lot of very smart people like it. As I said above, people tend to give it either one star or five stars. I think it's intentional that the discussion around it will generate buzz and boost sales.
I haven't watched the video yet, but I've been reading a lot of the comments, and I just want to say one thing. I HATE WILLEM. I hate him with every fiber of my being. Can someone please explain to me how they see him in a positive light?
Well why do you hate Willem?
@@alanaestelle2076 I hate him because he actively harms Jude and makes excuses for it. Willem knows that something is wrong with Jude and something happened in his past but he still does things to make him uncomfortable because Willem thinks he is, quote, "is too stupid to understand it". And it's fine for Willem to be a complex character but my problem is that the book tries so hard to frame him as "good". And I will also never get over what he did to Jude and Harold's house. You don't throw razor blades at your significant other, like what? But I feel like Andy also falls into this category, all those two do is enable Jude and didn't properly help him until it was too late. (But I mostly think that's a problem with the book itself. If the author doesn't believe in therapy, they'll never write the character getting help). Sorry that this turned into a whole rant 😅
@@alanaestelle2076 i have no idea if my original reply went through or not. It says 2 replies but I can't see it