It’s stupid to think that people would even argue it’s selfish to not have children when there are people that cannot emotionally/financially handle raising a child.
It truly is but it’s shocking how some people feel “obligated” to do so regardless. As they feel a tremendous pressure from society or more internal sources like friends and family.
Yes. Plus, it's ABSURD when overpopulation is at the root of a HUGE proportion of humanity's biggest and longest-running problems. That kind of BS is the usual stupid people not liking it if ANYONE isn't JUST LIKE THEM -- instead of not using their brain, science, math, logic, etc. re thinking about such issues. Overall, humanity, sadly enough, is it's own worst enemy.
that is a frankly disgusting suggestion, but I don't think you realized how bad it is, so I don't think you were trying to imply any of this. but the idea that there is a limited amount of space or resources to support people on the planet inevitably leads back to ecofascism and eugenics. if there's not enough space on the planet, then we have to decide who deserves to live here, and the people who are determined to be least worthy are always people of color, people with disabilities, and other minority groups. what's more, if it was accepted that some people shouldn't have children to make space for others, what effect would it have on someone who wants to have children, and is told they are not worthy of the privilege? You know, it's possible one or both of you could be aware of some of this, since neighbor's tale is a black man. and as I already said, I don't think this little exchange was anyone trying to imply any of what I proposed, but I think it's important to identify. nothing good comes from the arguments that there's not enough resources or space on the planet. our problems are not with a lack, but of not being able to allocate resources effectively. this is a systemic problem, which can't be solved by individuals changing their habits in spending or raising children. this is the same reason why I worry about the sentiment that some people express, where some people don't deserve to have kids. or that there needs to be some requirements to deserve to have kids. any test like this would likely lead to it being harder for people in minority groups to have kids. there needs to be a greater support system and attempts to educate people on how to be better parents (though I don't necessarily know how the latter would be implemented) rather than more barriers to people having kids.
@iBenjamin1000 thank you, sincerely! While I cannot speak for @amandalawrence5610 when I saw their post, I felt as though they were speaking to how some people who decide not to have kids get labeled as selfish. And so by choosing to not have kids, we can give space to those who do want to have children. Regardless, I appreciate your acknowledgement of their comment and my agreement probably only went that far and wasn’t anything malicious. As I most certainly wasn’t thinking in poor taste and I truly feel the same could be said for them too. That being said, there can be extremes to these types of conversations. We do have a resource issue and as you stated, it’s a systematic problem not an individual problem that needs to be addressed. You’ve also helped me to think more cautiously in the future. As in the past, I’d say something casually like, “Oh some people just shouldn’t have kids”. Now, in no way do I think that there should be restrictions for people who want children, that’s ridiculous. But to your point, there should be some sort of program to educate people who do want to become parents. However, if I just say that in passing, it could very well be misinterpreted. Especially if it’s just in passing and the person doesn’t know me; how would they know my genuine intentions. So moving forward, I’ll be better about how I address topics such as that. And thus, I really appreciate your insight, passion and perspective, it helped a lot!
what is selfish is forcing someone who doesnt want to have kids to have kids. whats selfish is having a child live a lifestyle that is not conducive for having kids. what is selfish is having a kid for the sole reason to have someone care for you when you get sick or too old.
The quality is amazing. I'm so happy this came up in my feed. The skits are chef's kiss. Advice for women who don't want kids, have never wanted kids, and know it down to the bone: your choice to not have kids is not only valid but even responsible. It's better to prevent harm by not having kids than it is to 'look normal'. I am a product of parents who did not want kids, and being a regret took a lot of strength and healing to recover from. I was personally relieved when I realised at 18 that I did not have to have kids, no matter what anyone else wanted, and I look forward to the future every day.
Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! And thank you even more so for your transparency, vulnerability and brilliant advice! It couldn’t have been easy to get to the mental space you’re at now. But I’m so happy you were able to get there and as you said, can enjoy everyday moving forward! Congratulations, sincerely!!
It’s wild how people can live totally different lives. I’m 49, no wife, no kids. My brother is just three years older than me, is married, has 8 kids and 2 grandkids.🤪
My man just started and is already releasing some banger essays! I agree with basically all of it. Not having kids is pretty much the opposite of being selfish.
You’re completely right. And I feel that even if the government gets something passed, it’ll take so long that we’ll have to revise right after to reflect where the new economy is at that time
@@aneighborstale lol immediately after watching your video I went to google if I’m qualified to donate my eggs. (I’m an adult who has 0 kids and plans on keeping it that way)
It's honestly up to the person if they wish to or not. No matter what you choose, you will be faced with challenges relating to the choice you made. As someone who didn't even think of wanting to have kids (and let's face it, the economy's f-ed up as it is), I'm more content with what I got right now and I'm also wise enough to know that I am not suited to be a parent.
So true, I’m currently in this weird headspace of not knowing if I want kids anymore. When I thought that was exactly what I should do growing up. After you decided to not have kids, were there any challenges that came up that you weren’t expecting?
I disagree. I chose not to have kids, and my life is pretty darn easy as a result. I have no negative challenges I'm facing for my decision whatsoever, unless you are referring to taxes. If I want to play with or interact with children, I volunteer at daycares or spend some time with my great nieces and nephews. But it is rare that I want to be around children, so I'm good. There are more than enough women in this world who have sacrificed their lives to motherhood. The world will survive just fine without any offspring from my body.
I like this perspective a lot, it goes hand in hand with child free people can still help with children even if they don’t have them, thank you for sharing! Was it a difficult decision to make growing up or did you always have the thought that you weren’t going to have kids?
I feel as though there will always be people trying to pass their own judgment on others. I hate that whole "don't you want someone to take care of your when you get older?". B*tch please, I can't even afford myself now. How do I expect my hypothetical children to care for me? Why do I want to put that burden on my child? Nah, I wanna enjoy my own life. Because it's MINE. This world is not in a good state. I don't want to bring a child into this mess right meow! Will I have kids one day? Maybe? But I shouldn't feel shamed because I'm not doing it on someone else's timeline. Love your videos, always, friend! ❤️
As always, so many great points made, while also having me cry from how hard I’m laughing! That’s exactly where my head is at too. I struggle to understand how I’m expected to raise a child in the future, when I’m one “check engine” light away from financial turmoil. And thank you so much! Always appreciate and love the support friend! ❤️
Aw man that hits hard. Ive accepted i will get no help and im alone but you really emphasised that even if i did have kids would i want them to take care of me? Maybe if i end up in a bad home butnive already decided to crashout if i get abused
It's always funny to me when parents call childfree people selfish when one of their main arguments for having kids is that they hope their children will support them once they'll get old... There's literally nothing more selfish than bringing other humans into this world so they can take care of you at some point.
Gen Xer here. I decided to not have kids based on what at the time looked like a terrifying population boom and various emotional reasons (frankly I didn't feel I'd be a good enough mom and the idea of being responsible for f***ing up an entire human being scared me). Now that I'm way past childbearing age, sometimes, yes, I do regret not having kids but I still don't think I would have been a good mother, and my retirement will be much easier as a result of not having had kids as the money that would have gone to raising kids instead went to fund my retirement.
This is beautiful, thank you so much for sharing! To have that kind of transparency and openness with one’s self couldn’t have been easy and shows overwhelming levels of thoughtfulness and emotional intelligence. Thank you for being such a lovely kindhearted person, it speaks volumes!
"Really, in this economy??" seems like an increasingly universal response that I'll always use (alongside a handful of others ofcourse) to explain simply why I'm not even slightly interested in merely attempting to raise a child
Agreed, there’s most certainly a number of reason for myself too. But the obvious struggle I know I’d have raising a child when I can barely scrap by is continuing to be a growing concern that’s only getting bigger
Having kids is one of the most selfish acts possible. You're rolling a dice on the life of another being on whether it'll be a good one or go through a bunch of suffering
I’ve seen this topic discussed on different channels, but I have to say your production quality and delivery are fantastic. You deserve far more subs than you have. Keep pumping out content like this my dude. We appreciate it.
Thank you so much, I really appreciate that! Comments like this, keep me going and let me know I’m heading in the right direction. So thanks again, I’ll keep doing my best for y’all!
I am 24 (female) I am single and i never dated anyone, and i don’t want to have children. Am I selfish for that? Heck no! I don’t get why people not having children is “selfish” like bruh, Where is the logic in that!? I’m also on the spectrum, and I’m still learning how to be an adult. I’m not having children not only because I don’t want children, I’m not having children because…I honestly don’t think I’ll be a good mom. I just don’t think I’m capable of having children and being a parent, and that’s ok. I’m perfectly fine with just being an aunt (my sister has a son who’s over a year old) I don’t need to be a mom. Do I wanna get married someday? Yeah, sure! But I don’t want children, it’s just not for me. Hopefully I can find a guy suitable for me, who doesn’t really want children like me.
No, it is NOT selfish to not have children. It is actually selfish to have children because they don’t ask to be born and they are her to endure pain and suffering.
On the topic of Japan, mothers or people who are currently pregnant often times face maternity harassment, coined matahara. In some cases, as soon as their workplace gets to know about the pregnancy, they are basically bullied out of their job or straight up fired. It's no surprise that young women don't want to become pregnant with the prospect of ending their career. Korea on the other hand is a suitcase that should be thrown out completely in terms of women's rights. Personally I don't want to be pregnant/experience childbirth. Additionally I don't have a maternal instinct nor the "omg that baby is so cute" response (more a get it away, no saliva shall touch me), so bonding with a baby would be very hard for me. Futhermore, even if maternity is legally protected in Germany, I don't trust the companies enough to actually not bar me from getting a promotion/a raise based on my parental status.
Thank you so much for posting this! It’s something I wished I would’ve talked about more but it’s definitely something I’m concerning doing in the future as it’s own video. But speaking to women’s experiences personally will always be one of the biggest driving forces behind people not wanting to have children. How can you expect them to want to have kids if they don’t feel supported, protected, encouraged or safe. And not only that, but expect them to want to bring kids into a world who will have to endure those expectations as well. I applaud your insight and personal choice. And I’m glad you’re following the path that’s best for you!
Is not putting a strain on the planet, natural resources, the food supply, the infrastructure, not to mention the world population, selfish? Lol, best laugh I had all year.
Having kids is selfish and it would be absurd to argue otherwise. Anyone who has children is doing it for selfish reasons to benefit themselves because most humans want to have other people around, to continue their blood and they want security and someone to take care of them when they're old. Even adopting is somewhat selfish because it's mostly done to fulfil our own desires but I think it's far better than having biological children because you can bring happiness to an already existing person's life. A non-existent sentient being (human) can't suffer nor can they miss out on being happy. I am aware that if we stop "breeding", society will fall but I don't care and think it would be better to take care of already existing people than to bring more to life especially when have over 8 billion humans on this planet. People procreate only for the benefit of the already existing, which is selfish if I haven't made it clear. It actually angers me when people promote the "breeding" of any sentient beings. I am a proud antinatalist and supporter of the VHEMT movement.
I'd much rather put scientific/medical focus into extending lives and finding cures/alleviations for ageing (IE the body slowly degrading, not so much the superficial signs, but ya know, why not that too) then focus on the fact that we base economic decisions on the idea that people want/have kids in order to keep the machine going. I want lives well lived with the chance for unparalleled thriving capability instead of just hoping the next gen has it better. I'm sick of the slow progression and bitterness from past gens to the new ones because well, they're right, it's not fair. It's not fair that some people get the short end of the stick and then just die. I also think society would progress faster if we lived longer because instead of having to wait for education to do it's thing, if we keep people young (body and mind wise, no literal age) then we have a populace that are adults, educated, learning more and have world experience who all can vote and contribute and will more likely remember past mistakes and less likely to repeat them because they already lived through trying x or y.
My choice to not have kids is for the kid just as much as it is for me. My butt is not fit to raise a child. It is wholly selfish of me to think that because I want one that I should subject a fellow human being to my crappy genetic line/mental health situation and my inadequate finances. I was raised by a mother who should not have had kids (thankfully she only had me to my knowledge). I know very well what it's like to be raised by a parent who thinks that kids are for them and not for the experience of helping another human being on their way in life. Would I be a better mom than my mom was? Absofuckinglutely. Would I be good enough? In my opinion, no. Not to the standard I espouse all humans should be living under. I would be a hypocrite and a selfish jerk off for having kids knowing what I know about myself, my situation and about the human psyche. My best isn't good enough and so I'd never subject someone through that knowingly. I also have no desire to have genetic mini-me narcissist feelings regarding offspring. If I am ever in a mental, physical and financial position and desire kids, I'd adopt. I'd rather give a life and home and guidance to someone who for whatever reason wasn't able to have that with their own parents. I've also seen many many adults regret having kids and I can't think of a worse fate for everyone involved, especially the kid. Being a parent isn't a two way street. That kid has no say in their genetics, environment, financial situation, health condition or literally anything. It's the most one sided relationship you can ever have and beyond unfair. And I live in a country that actually has really good child rights far beyond what many other places do and it's still not good enough. All of those things participate in the type of person you are later in life and what you may have to deal with. If I can't provide the best environment possible based on a standard of living that isn't only "my best" then I shouldn't have kids. My heart breaks when I hear people try to say not having kids is selfish because I know that in most cases, it's because they want people to be miserable like them because they also weren't fit to actually take care of another human being and are miserable.
Im shocked no one has given you the argument, but I'll be the 1st to say it. It's always selfish to have kids..why, name an unselfish reason to have kids? What benefit would a non existent being get from coming into a world full of potential harm only to eventually die? Why would it be ethical to impose a risk to an innocent life that did not ask for it in the 1st place? Its so unfair for the innocent lives to be forced into a situation where they have to fix the problems the previous generations are unable to. Put simply, the real reason why people have kids in the 1st place is that they have nothing better to do with their own lives, or they cant understand they are creating a being that will have unmet needs only to die eventually. Nature does not know what its doing, but we can know its a meat grinder. Thats all thats happening.
You bring up some sound points. I watched videos advocating for having kids too; reasons like seeing the world through new eyes or helping the world "keep spinning" came up. Which to your point, isn’t a glowing endorsement for selflessness. You're right, someday I feel the pain of friends, family, and self, dying. My contribution to helping the planet and others is small. And I have suffered at times but thankfully, I have enjoyed more by comparison and I have my parents to thank for that. Of course, there are people in far worse circumstances than I, who suffer constantly and there are parents who shouldn't have kids. Why bring someone into a world filled with suffering and pain? I think people do it because happiness and joy exist in this world too. Maybe they think it’s worth the risk of one if they can experience the other more. The problem is we don’t get to decide that, life does. I apologize, as I can’t speak to your point more definitively. Regardless, I appreciate your post. It gave me pause and genuine self-reflection.
@aneighborstale I appreciate the response. It's great to hear when people are not in a negative state and are doing well. I only hope for the best for every innocent life out there. Some people have good relationships with their parents, and I don't deny that. But the fact that currently right now it takes literally little effort to procreate with no prior education or qualifications and is promoted by society and the elites is why poverty, crime, and systematic despair exist. Problems only exist if you create something that can experience those problems to begin with. The fact of the matter is that life really is just very risky, especially to roll the dice for someone else's well-being whom may not appreciate the outcome. Every decent parent wishes for the best for their kids. But logically speaking, had parents never had the child to begin with, they would never care to experience the goods in life had they never came to existence in the 1st place. It's very profound that humans have the capability to even question existence itself yet there is no discourse going against people like Elon musk who literally advocates people need to have more kids. All I can say is I'm just glad more people are at least questioning procreation as it's the most important decision ever.
Ladies - People give us Men the same smoke when we say we don't want children 0_o #1 comment is "Who's Going To Carry On Your Family Name, It's So Selfish of You to End It" WTF, Like some Men only have daughters No? 😂
I love this video! Even if I understand none of the jokes (gen z) I loved your humour and your quality is great! I'm surprised you aren't more famous. Insta sub! (Also, Markiplier AND anime enjoyer? How could I NOT sub?)
Thank you so much, I’m always happy when I hear someone has enjoyed the videos! Lets me know I’m moving in the right direction. Even better, we can’t get enough Mark and anime lovers on this channel, so welcome x2!
Come work and live in Japan where I am and you'll begin to understand why politicians are worried. The current population is just under 130 million now, but in the next 5 decades or so it will be nearly half that. But not just half the population in the absolute sense, the overwhelming number will be old people who can't work and need to be taken care of. That means young people will need to work more hours for less return as the government either raises taxes on the young, or prints money to cover the bills forcing inflation. I don't know whether selfish is the correct word, but if you avoid children because "raising kids is hard" then that just means someone else's kids will be taking care of you when you are old directly or indirectly.
Well put, I’ve seen it on the news quite a lot since being here especially! I might cover it at a later date, but I wonder why the current incentives aren’t enough to “move the needle”. What do you think the Japanese government could additionally do in order to combat the declining population? I was thinking they might do a full overhaul of the visa program if things keep going in the same direction.
Well, this is why h4r4k1r1 was a thing a long time ago. We as humans should have the freedom to end our o w n lives on our own terms. It literally solves the old population problem and the burden on the young at the same time. Plus if it's done honorably and with a good ceremony, isn't that so much better than rolling around on your own f1lth? And being s3n1l3? I'd love to have that option for myself when I grow old.
I always wonder with people who say such things, what they think about how to change things, inquiring minds would like to know...but they mum up every time 🤔 at my age I wonder, are the changes that need to be made are too much for them, due to e.g. greed, biases on who has babies or what babies are born, being disingenuous and just yammering and gum flapping or misery loves company... Because so far...throwing money at people doesn't prove effective, for many reasons
I guarantee someone else's kids will also be taking care of you whether you birth your own kids into this world or not. Either that or android CNAs. You are delusional if you think you have guaranteed caretakers in your old age just because you have kids.
I think it is considered to be abnormal or why get married if you do not have children. the parents were miserable with you they wanted you to be miserable with grandchildren. Yea, I prefer to get married without children. I do not mind babysitting a loved one child. I think there is no big problem in not having children except we will not exist.
The last thing this world needs is more people who don't want to raise the kids they bring into the world. The ability to procreate doesn't correlate with the ability to have a happy, fulfilling life. Good on them :)
I wish l had never had children. Children are the one how are selfish. Most mother sacrifice everything for their children. Only for the children only to go no contact when they get older and do not appreciate the sacrifice as you made for them.
This is complete BS, and I don't blame your kids for going no contact if this is your attitude. You are NOT sacrificing anything when you CHOOSE to have kids. They don't ask to be born. Kids are not assets or investments. Once they are out of the womb, they are autonomous human beings that don't owe you anything.
You're the exact kind of mindset that selfishly had children. Another human being who had no choice in you being their mother or the conditions you set for them to come into holds no obligation to you. You didn't make a sacrifice. You chose to have kids in conditions that were sub par and your children realized this. I know very well the parents that think that having kids is a sacrifice and that twisted martyrdom narcissistic mindset. If it is, don't have kids. Don't put a "You owe me" on another persons life. That's the most messed up relationship I can imagine. People who think they own their kids or their kids owe them literally anything are the exact people who shouldn't be parents. I feel for your kids regarding having a mother that regrets them. That's abhorrent.
@vixxcelacea2778 I agree with everything you said, EXCEPT the last sentence. It is not abhorrent to regret having a child considering the world we live because that is altruistic regret. But to regret having a child because it deviates from your predetermined plans of that's child autonomy: now THAT is abhorrent.
You didn't address the real problem with some people choosing to be childfree, and why on a certain level, it IS selfish. Intelligence is genetic. Statistically, smarter people (including ones that you mentioned) have fewer children if any, while people with lower intelligence breed like bunnies. Where does this leave the planet over time? It's true, none of us owe the planet, our parents, or future societies anything, (and people who genuinely don't want children because they think they'd be bad parents shouldn't have them). But when intelligent people who like kids and would be good parents, are childfree by choice, you really can't say that's not selfish. If we're hanging out, and I have a big box of candy, I don't OWE you any of it, but choosing not to share it IS still selfish. This is the same, only instead of candy, it's your intelligent genes.
Do you know what else is selfish on a certain level? People who breed with the sole purpose of making those children domestic slaves and wage slaves. People who breed caring nothing about the quality of life that they are bringing innocent children into. People who breed in order to give the government future generations of addicts, criminals, and trafficking supply. If I'm going to be labeled selfish, I would rather be the kind that doesn't breed children into this world to suffer.
Intelligence is a combination of nature and nurture. Mostly, nature is a blue print and nature sets off certain triggers. This is also how epigenetics works. For instance, depression may run genetically, but it's often triggered and set off by certain experiences in a child's life that basically turn the gene one. One can have the gene and never have it set off. Same goes for a lot of diseases/disorders that are influenced heavily by environment. And even in the case of certain fully genetic ones, environment STILL plays a huge role to coping with any specific condition. Second, a lot of having kids is about the notion of free labor. This is common and has been in human history through out pretty much all cultures. More hands to work the field. Also, intelligence is extremely dubious. There are people who are classified as under average IQ who are perfectly functionable, even though their IQ should indicate that they actually are in need of everyday help. There is a lot we don't understand about human intelligence nor what it even means. We do know that some processes associated are genetic, but we also know that much of how a person turns out is environment and education. Something which most people can't afford to actually give generations because we do very little to make the unfair world even remotely fair. People actually wonder why the world sucks when we all do bare minimum to raise other human beings, let alone the life quality of the already living and often rightfully embittered.
Selfish for whom? Because.... If not careful the ones who call it selfish will also be selfish with what about when we get old ... There is a simple option where all parties can mind their own business, simply, the ones who are SO concerned about the future and are having kids....have MORE kids for a LONGER period of time...that would be selfless, and show they ACTUALLY mean what they say.. Instead of pushing the responsibility on others 🤔
How can one be inconsiderate of someone who does not exist? How am I being inconsiderate or "selfish" to children that I don't have? Explain that to me.
It’s stupid to think that people would even argue it’s selfish to not have children when there are people that cannot emotionally/financially handle raising a child.
It truly is but it’s shocking how some people feel “obligated” to do so regardless. As they feel a tremendous pressure from society or more internal sources like friends and family.
Yes. Plus, it's ABSURD when overpopulation is at the root of a HUGE proportion of humanity's biggest and longest-running problems.
That kind of BS is the usual stupid people not liking it if ANYONE isn't JUST LIKE THEM -- instead of not using their brain, science, math, logic, etc. re thinking about such issues.
Overall, humanity, sadly enough, is it's own worst enemy.
Not having children is actually not selfish. Because you’re leaving more space for others.
Ohh that’s nice, I really like that answer!
that is a frankly disgusting suggestion, but I don't think you realized how bad it is, so I don't think you were trying to imply any of this. but the idea that there is a limited amount of space or resources to support people on the planet inevitably leads back to ecofascism and eugenics. if there's not enough space on the planet, then we have to decide who deserves to live here, and the people who are determined to be least worthy are always people of color, people with disabilities, and other minority groups. what's more, if it was accepted that some people shouldn't have children to make space for others, what effect would it have on someone who wants to have children, and is told they are not worthy of the privilege?
You know, it's possible one or both of you could be aware of some of this, since neighbor's tale is a black man. and as I already said, I don't think this little exchange was anyone trying to imply any of what I proposed, but I think it's important to identify. nothing good comes from the arguments that there's not enough resources or space on the planet. our problems are not with a lack, but of not being able to allocate resources effectively. this is a systemic problem, which can't be solved by individuals changing their habits in spending or raising children.
this is the same reason why I worry about the sentiment that some people express, where some people don't deserve to have kids. or that there needs to be some requirements to deserve to have kids. any test like this would likely lead to it being harder for people in minority groups to have kids. there needs to be a greater support system and attempts to educate people on how to be better parents (though I don't necessarily know how the latter would be implemented) rather than more barriers to people having kids.
@iBenjamin1000 thank you, sincerely! While I cannot speak for @amandalawrence5610 when I saw their post, I felt as though they were speaking to how some people who decide not to have kids get labeled as selfish. And so by choosing to not have kids, we can give space to those who do want to have children. Regardless, I appreciate your acknowledgement of their comment and my agreement probably only went that far and wasn’t anything malicious. As I most certainly wasn’t thinking in poor taste and I truly feel the same could be said for them too.
That being said, there can be extremes to these types of conversations. We do have a resource issue and as you stated, it’s a systematic problem not an individual problem that needs to be addressed.
You’ve also helped me to think more
cautiously in the future. As in the past, I’d say something casually like, “Oh some people just shouldn’t have kids”. Now, in no way do I think that there should be restrictions for people who want children, that’s ridiculous. But to your point, there should be some sort of program to educate people who do want to become parents. However, if I just say that in passing, it could very well be misinterpreted. Especially if it’s just in passing and the person doesn’t know me; how would they know my genuine intentions. So moving forward, I’ll be better about how I address topics such as that. And thus, I really appreciate your insight, passion and perspective, it helped a lot!
what is selfish is forcing someone who doesnt want to have kids to have kids. whats selfish is having a child live a lifestyle that is not conducive for having kids. what is selfish is having a kid for the sole reason to have someone care for you when you get sick or too old.
Yep, yep, and super yep. No Notes!
Always remember that one kid costs MORE than a brand new Lamborghini lmao.
I’m putting that on a shirt! 🤣
The quality is amazing. I'm so happy this came up in my feed. The skits are chef's kiss.
Advice for women who don't want kids, have never wanted kids, and know it down to the bone: your choice to not have kids is not only valid but even responsible. It's better to prevent harm by not having kids than it is to 'look normal'. I am a product of parents who did not want kids, and being a regret took a lot of strength and healing to recover from.
I was personally relieved when I realised at 18 that I did not have to have kids, no matter what anyone else wanted, and I look forward to the future every day.
Thank you so much, I really appreciate it!
And thank you even more so for your transparency, vulnerability and brilliant advice! It couldn’t have been easy to get to the mental space you’re at now. But I’m so happy you were able to get there and as you said, can enjoy everyday moving forward! Congratulations, sincerely!!
If you don't want them or just don't think you are meant to be a parent, not having them is a wonderful, selfless act.
Couldn’t agree more, thank you for this!
It’s wild how people can live totally different lives. I’m 49, no wife, no kids. My brother is just three years older than me, is married, has 8 kids and 2 grandkids.🤪
That’s quite the flip of the coin 😂 I’m sure you must be coming in with top notch and unmatched uncle energy though!
@@aneighborstale for sure my brother. I’m definitely the cool uncle.
My man just started and is already releasing some banger essays! I agree with basically all of it. Not having kids is pretty much the opposite of being selfish.
Thank you so much, I really appreciate that!! And thank you for your insight, hope you have a great day!
At some point the government has to provide actual incentives and support if they want people to have kids in this kind of economy.
They should start with healthcare
You’re completely right. And I feel that even if the government gets something passed, it’ll take so long that we’ll have to revise right after to reflect where the new economy is at that time
@@Fffffferal 100%
@@aneighborstale lol immediately after watching your video I went to google if I’m qualified to donate my eggs. (I’m an adult who has 0 kids and plans on keeping it that way)
Great video btw!
It's selfish to bring people into this horrible world we're living in, just watch the news
It's honestly up to the person if they wish to or not. No matter what you choose, you will be faced with challenges relating to the choice you made.
As someone who didn't even think of wanting to have kids (and let's face it, the economy's f-ed up as it is), I'm more content with what I got right now and I'm also wise enough to know that I am not suited to be a parent.
So true, I’m currently in this weird headspace of not knowing if I want kids anymore. When I thought that was exactly what I should do growing up.
After you decided to not have kids, were there any challenges that came up that you weren’t expecting?
@aneighborstale as of now no since im a college student currently. But if ever i do encounter one i'll be sure to come back to this and add it.
@Arttaic well thank you! But for once I’m actually hoping you won’t ever have to add a comment in the future to this one
I disagree. I chose not to have kids, and my life is pretty darn easy as a result. I have no negative challenges I'm facing for my decision whatsoever, unless you are referring to taxes. If I want to play with or interact with children, I volunteer at daycares or spend some time with my great nieces and nephews. But it is rare that I want to be around children, so I'm good. There are more than enough women in this world who have sacrificed their lives to motherhood. The world will survive just fine without any offspring from my body.
I like this perspective a lot, it goes hand in hand with child free people can still help with children even if they don’t have them, thank you for sharing!
Was it a difficult decision to make growing up or did you always have the thought that you weren’t going to have kids?
I feel as though there will always be people trying to pass their own judgment on others. I hate that whole "don't you want someone to take care of your when you get older?". B*tch please, I can't even afford myself now. How do I expect my hypothetical children to care for me? Why do I want to put that burden on my child? Nah, I wanna enjoy my own life. Because it's MINE. This world is not in a good state. I don't want to bring a child into this mess right meow! Will I have kids one day? Maybe? But I shouldn't feel shamed because I'm not doing it on someone else's timeline.
Love your videos, always, friend! ❤️
As always, so many great points made, while also having me cry from how hard I’m laughing! That’s exactly where my head is at too. I struggle to understand how I’m expected to raise a child in the future, when I’m one “check engine” light away from financial turmoil.
And thank you so much! Always appreciate and love the support friend! ❤️
Aw man that hits hard. Ive accepted i will get no help and im alone but you really emphasised that even if i did have kids would i want them to take care of me? Maybe if i end up in a bad home butnive already decided to crashout if i get abused
It's always funny to me when parents call childfree people selfish when one of their main arguments for having kids is that they hope their children will support them once they'll get old... There's literally nothing more selfish than bringing other humans into this world so they can take care of you at some point.
Gen Xer here. I decided to not have kids based on what at the time looked like a terrifying population boom and various emotional reasons (frankly I didn't feel I'd be a good enough mom and the idea of being responsible for f***ing up an entire human being scared me). Now that I'm way past childbearing age, sometimes, yes, I do regret not having kids but I still don't think I would have been a good mother, and my retirement will be much easier as a result of not having had kids as the money that would have gone to raising kids instead went to fund my retirement.
This is beautiful, thank you so much for sharing! To have that kind of transparency and openness with one’s self couldn’t have been easy and shows overwhelming levels of thoughtfulness and emotional intelligence. Thank you for being such a lovely kindhearted person, it speaks volumes!
"Really, in this economy??" seems like an increasingly universal response that I'll always use (alongside a handful of others ofcourse) to explain simply why I'm not even slightly interested in merely attempting to raise a child
Agreed, there’s most certainly a number of reason for myself too. But the obvious struggle I know I’d have raising a child when I can barely scrap by is continuing to be a growing concern that’s only getting bigger
Its actually selfless. Having kids is selfish. Ironically.
Having kids is one of the most selfish acts possible. You're rolling a dice on the life of another being on whether it'll be a good one or go through a bunch of suffering
This is a topic I have been thinking about for a long time.
So I’m glad to finally see somebody cover this.
Thank you so much, I hope you enjoyed it!
I’ve seen this topic discussed on different channels, but I have to say your production quality and delivery are fantastic. You deserve far more subs than you have. Keep pumping out content like this my dude. We appreciate it.
Thank you so much, I really appreciate that! Comments like this, keep me going and let me know I’m heading in the right direction. So thanks again, I’ll keep doing my best for y’all!
It's crazy how underrated you are. I loved this video and was expecting to see well over 100k views
Thank you so much, haha nah not yet. That’d be a cool number to hit though, so I’ll keep trying to improve on the quality!
I am 24 (female) I am single and i never dated anyone, and i don’t want to have children. Am I selfish for that? Heck no! I don’t get why people not having children is “selfish” like bruh, Where is the logic in that!? I’m also on the spectrum, and I’m still learning how to be an adult.
I’m not having children not only because I don’t want children, I’m not having children because…I honestly don’t think I’ll be a good mom. I just don’t think I’m capable of having children and being a parent, and that’s ok. I’m perfectly fine with just being an aunt (my sister has a son who’s over a year old) I don’t need to be a mom. Do I wanna get married someday? Yeah, sure! But I don’t want children, it’s just not for me. Hopefully I can find a guy suitable for me, who doesn’t really want children like me.
Where have you been in my life? Lets be friends! Im 24 and I only have 1 gf as an adult.
No, it is NOT selfish to not have children. It is actually selfish to have children because they don’t ask to be born and they are her to endure pain and suffering.
Is not, not having children is the most unselfish thing ever
On the topic of Japan, mothers or people who are currently pregnant often times face maternity harassment, coined matahara. In some cases, as soon as their workplace gets to know about the pregnancy, they are basically bullied out of their job or straight up fired. It's no surprise that young women don't want to become pregnant with the prospect of ending their career.
Korea on the other hand is a suitcase that should be thrown out completely in terms of women's rights.
Personally I don't want to be pregnant/experience childbirth. Additionally I don't have a maternal instinct nor the "omg that baby is so cute" response (more a get it away, no saliva shall touch me), so bonding with a baby would be very hard for me. Futhermore, even if maternity is legally protected in Germany, I don't trust the companies enough to actually not bar me from getting a promotion/a raise based on my parental status.
Thank you so much for posting this! It’s something I wished I would’ve talked about more but it’s definitely something I’m concerning doing in the future as it’s own video. But speaking to women’s experiences personally will always be one of the biggest driving forces behind people not wanting to have children. How can you expect them to want to have kids if they don’t feel supported, protected, encouraged or safe. And not only that, but expect them to want to bring kids into a world who will have to endure those expectations as well.
I applaud your insight and personal choice. And I’m glad you’re following the path that’s best for you!
Dude, you're funnay! I enjoyed watching this, thank you 🌻
Thank you, I really appreciate it 🙇♂️ I’m glad you enjoyed!!
Is not putting a strain on the planet, natural resources, the food supply, the infrastructure, not to mention the world population, selfish? Lol, best laugh I had all year.
Well said friend, well said!
I love a new start off channel with quality. Subscribed 👍 goodluck.
Thank you so much, I really appreciate it!!
Having kids is selfish and it would be absurd to argue otherwise. Anyone who has children is doing it for selfish reasons to benefit themselves because most humans want to have other people around, to continue their blood and they want security and someone to take care of them when they're old. Even adopting is somewhat selfish because it's mostly done to fulfil our own desires but I think it's far better than having biological children because you can bring happiness to an already existing person's life. A non-existent sentient being (human) can't suffer nor can they miss out on being happy. I am aware that if we stop "breeding", society will fall but I don't care and think it would be better to take care of already existing people than to bring more to life especially when have over 8 billion humans on this planet.
People procreate only for the benefit of the already existing, which is selfish if I haven't made it clear. It actually angers me when people promote the "breeding" of any sentient beings. I am a proud antinatalist and supporter of the VHEMT movement.
I'd much rather put scientific/medical focus into extending lives and finding cures/alleviations for ageing (IE the body slowly degrading, not so much the superficial signs, but ya know, why not that too) then focus on the fact that we base economic decisions on the idea that people want/have kids in order to keep the machine going. I want lives well lived with the chance for unparalleled thriving capability instead of just hoping the next gen has it better. I'm sick of the slow progression and bitterness from past gens to the new ones because well, they're right, it's not fair. It's not fair that some people get the short end of the stick and then just die.
I also think society would progress faster if we lived longer because instead of having to wait for education to do it's thing, if we keep people young (body and mind wise, no literal age) then we have a populace that are adults, educated, learning more and have world experience who all can vote and contribute and will more likely remember past mistakes and less likely to repeat them because they already lived through trying x or y.
My choice to not have kids is for the kid just as much as it is for me. My butt is not fit to raise a child. It is wholly selfish of me to think that because I want one that I should subject a fellow human being to my crappy genetic line/mental health situation and my inadequate finances.
I was raised by a mother who should not have had kids (thankfully she only had me to my knowledge). I know very well what it's like to be raised by a parent who thinks that kids are for them and not for the experience of helping another human being on their way in life. Would I be a better mom than my mom was? Absofuckinglutely. Would I be good enough? In my opinion, no. Not to the standard I espouse all humans should be living under. I would be a hypocrite and a selfish jerk off for having kids knowing what I know about myself, my situation and about the human psyche.
My best isn't good enough and so I'd never subject someone through that knowingly.
I also have no desire to have genetic mini-me narcissist feelings regarding offspring. If I am ever in a mental, physical and financial position and desire kids, I'd adopt. I'd rather give a life and home and guidance to someone who for whatever reason wasn't able to have that with their own parents.
I've also seen many many adults regret having kids and I can't think of a worse fate for everyone involved, especially the kid.
Being a parent isn't a two way street. That kid has no say in their genetics, environment, financial situation, health condition or literally anything. It's the most one sided relationship you can ever have and beyond unfair. And I live in a country that actually has really good child rights far beyond what many other places do and it's still not good enough. All of those things participate in the type of person you are later in life and what you may have to deal with. If I can't provide the best environment possible based on a standard of living that isn't only "my best" then I shouldn't have kids.
My heart breaks when I hear people try to say not having kids is selfish because I know that in most cases, it's because they want people to be miserable like them because they also weren't fit to actually take care of another human being and are miserable.
Very interesting tipic !! GREAT VIDEO ❤❤❤You put a lot of effort in editing!!! It's amazing!!!
Thank you very much, I appreciate it! Glad you liked it ❤️🫶
Im shocked no one has given you the argument, but I'll be the 1st to say it.
It's always selfish to have kids..why, name an unselfish reason to have kids? What benefit would a non existent being get from coming into a world full of potential harm only to eventually die? Why would it be ethical to impose a risk to an innocent life that did not ask for it in the 1st place? Its so unfair for the innocent lives to be forced into a situation where they have to fix the problems the previous generations are unable to. Put simply, the real reason why people have kids in the 1st place is that they have nothing better to do with their own lives, or they cant understand they are creating a being that will have unmet needs only to die eventually. Nature does not know what its doing, but we can know its a meat grinder. Thats all thats happening.
You bring up some sound points. I watched videos advocating for having kids too; reasons like seeing the world through new eyes or helping the world "keep spinning" came up. Which to your point, isn’t a glowing endorsement for selflessness. You're right, someday I feel the pain of friends, family, and self, dying. My contribution to helping the planet and others is small. And I have suffered at times but thankfully, I have enjoyed more by comparison and I have my parents to thank for that. Of course, there are people in far worse circumstances than I, who suffer constantly and there are parents who shouldn't have kids. Why bring someone into a world filled with suffering and pain? I think people do it because happiness and joy exist in this world too. Maybe they think it’s worth the risk of one if they can experience the other more. The problem is we don’t get to decide that, life does. I apologize, as I can’t speak to your point more definitively. Regardless, I appreciate your post. It gave me pause and genuine self-reflection.
@aneighborstale I appreciate the response. It's great to hear when people are not in a negative state and are doing well. I only hope for the best for every innocent life out there. Some people have good relationships with their parents, and I don't deny that. But the fact that currently right now it takes literally little effort to procreate with no prior education or qualifications and is promoted by society and the elites is why poverty, crime, and systematic despair exist. Problems only exist if you create something that can experience those problems to begin with. The fact of the matter is that life really is just very risky, especially to roll the dice for someone else's well-being whom may not appreciate the outcome. Every decent parent wishes for the best for their kids. But logically speaking, had parents never had the child to begin with, they would never care to experience the goods in life had they never came to existence in the 1st place. It's very profound that humans have the capability to even question existence itself yet there is no discourse going against people like Elon musk who literally advocates people need to have more kids. All I can say is I'm just glad more people are at least questioning procreation as it's the most important decision ever.
There is nothing wrong with being selfish as long as you are not being inconsiderate of others and/or harming them.
I’d wish everyone thought that straightforward.
Ladies - People give us Men the same smoke when we say we don't want children 0_o
#1 comment is "Who's Going To Carry On Your Family Name, It's So Selfish of You to End It"
WTF, Like some Men only have daughters No? 😂
It is selfish to push people to have kids they are not going to be responsible for.
For sure, if they don’t want them and not ready for them. It’s completely irresponsible to push children on them!
I am never ever ever bringing a child into this world
What’s your reason behind not doing so?
My father as 6 kids he's older and sick but he was a terrible father so none of us will take care of him.
That’s awful, I’m sorry you and your siblings had to go through that.
I love this video! Even if I understand none of the jokes (gen z) I loved your humour and your quality is great! I'm surprised you aren't more famous. Insta sub!
(Also, Markiplier AND anime enjoyer? How could I NOT sub?)
Thank you so much, I’m always happy when I hear someone has enjoyed the videos! Lets me know I’m moving in the right direction.
Even better, we can’t get enough Mark and anime lovers on this channel, so welcome x2!
Come work and live in Japan where I am and you'll begin to understand why politicians are worried. The current population is just under 130 million now, but in the next 5 decades or so it will be nearly half that. But not just half the population in the absolute sense, the overwhelming number will be old people who can't work and need to be taken care of. That means young people will need to work more hours for less return as the government either raises taxes on the young, or prints money to cover the bills forcing inflation. I don't know whether selfish is the correct word, but if you avoid children because "raising kids is hard" then that just means someone else's kids will be taking care of you when you are old directly or indirectly.
Well put, I’ve seen it on the news quite a lot since being here especially! I might cover it at a later date, but I wonder why the current incentives aren’t enough to “move the needle”. What do you think the Japanese government could additionally do in order to combat the declining population? I was thinking they might do a full overhaul of the visa program if things keep going in the same direction.
if your entire economy is going to tank because people aren't having kids, you don't have an economy, you have a sweatshop
Well, this is why h4r4k1r1 was a thing a long time ago. We as humans should have the freedom to end our o w n lives on our own terms. It literally solves the old population problem and the burden on the young at the same time. Plus if it's done honorably and with a good ceremony, isn't that so much better than rolling around on your own f1lth? And being s3n1l3? I'd love to have that option for myself when I grow old.
I always wonder with people who say such things, what they think about how to change things, inquiring minds would like to know...but they mum up every time 🤔 at my age I wonder, are the changes that need to be made are too much for them, due to e.g. greed, biases on who has babies or what babies are born, being disingenuous and just yammering and gum flapping or misery loves company... Because so far...throwing money at people doesn't prove effective, for many reasons
I guarantee someone else's kids will also be taking care of you whether you birth your own kids into this world or not. Either that or android CNAs. You are delusional if you think you have guaranteed caretakers in your old age just because you have kids.
Its okay to not have kids why have kids with a terrible economy that cares little about the development and Generational wealth its cruel and evil
I think the government is gonna have to do some serious overhauling in a variety of areas before those who may be on the fence decide to have kids
I loved watching this video, I rate it a 5/10.
Well, thank you! I’m glad I could get half way there 😂 any suggestions on how to get the other 5 in your opinion?
I would love to have a wife and kids but cant afford them
Maybe take out a loan? :3
if bible is true, why have another child so they have to pup up with the 99.99% odds of going to effign hell for effing eternity odds?
For the algorithm
Thank you very much, W support!
Is this Nathan Zed?
Hahaha no, but I will take that comparison for sure!
Fertility rate is down? Have you seen how a building collapsed in india because so many people went to a work interview???
No no I didn’t! I’m trying to find it now, was it regarding a building that collapsed in Surat on July 7th? Or am I looking in the wrong place?
I think it is considered to be abnormal or why get married if you do not have children. the parents were miserable with you they wanted you to be miserable with grandchildren. Yea, I prefer to get married without children. I do not mind babysitting a loved one child. I think there is no big problem in not having children except we will not exist.
Watch in 1000 years every American will be a descendant of Elon Musk, Nick Cannon or the Kardashians. Or all three
haha, let's hope the pool is a bit more diverse than that! (actually, I gave it some thought and you may be on to something with Nick though.)
What do you think about people not having kids?
The last thing this world needs is more people who don't want to raise the kids they bring into the world. The ability to procreate doesn't correlate with the ability to have a happy, fulfilling life. Good on them :)
@@helloitshannahclare great point! There seems to be a shift in mindset which is fantastic to see!
I wish l had never had children. Children are the one how are selfish. Most mother sacrifice everything for their children. Only for the children only to go no contact when they get older and do not appreciate the sacrifice as you made for them.
This is complete BS, and I don't blame your kids for going no contact if this is your attitude. You are NOT sacrificing anything when you CHOOSE to have kids. They don't ask to be born. Kids are not assets or investments. Once they are out of the womb, they are autonomous human beings that don't owe you anything.
You're the exact kind of mindset that selfishly had children. Another human being who had no choice in you being their mother or the conditions you set for them to come into holds no obligation to you.
You didn't make a sacrifice. You chose to have kids in conditions that were sub par and your children realized this. I know very well the parents that think that having kids is a sacrifice and that twisted martyrdom narcissistic mindset. If it is, don't have kids. Don't put a "You owe me" on another persons life. That's the most messed up relationship I can imagine. People who think they own their kids or their kids owe them literally anything are the exact people who shouldn't be parents.
I feel for your kids regarding having a mother that regrets them. That's abhorrent.
@vixxcelacea2778 I agree with everything you said, EXCEPT the last sentence. It is not abhorrent to regret having a child considering the world we live because that is altruistic regret. But to regret having a child because it deviates from your predetermined plans of that's child autonomy: now THAT is abhorrent.
You didn't address the real problem with some people choosing to be childfree, and why on a certain level, it IS selfish. Intelligence is genetic. Statistically, smarter people (including ones that you mentioned) have fewer children if any, while people with lower intelligence breed like bunnies. Where does this leave the planet over time? It's true, none of us owe the planet, our parents, or future societies anything, (and people who genuinely don't want children because they think they'd be bad parents shouldn't have them). But when intelligent people who like kids and would be good parents, are childfree by choice, you really can't say that's not selfish. If we're hanging out, and I have a big box of candy, I don't OWE you any of it, but choosing not to share it IS still selfish. This is the same, only instead of candy, it's your intelligent genes.
Do you know what else is selfish on a certain level? People who breed with the sole purpose of making those children domestic slaves and wage slaves. People who breed caring nothing about the quality of life that they are bringing innocent children into. People who breed in order to give the government future generations of addicts, criminals, and trafficking supply.
If I'm going to be labeled selfish, I would rather be the kind that doesn't breed children into this world to suffer.
Intelligence is a combination of nature and nurture. Mostly, nature is a blue print and nature sets off certain triggers. This is also how epigenetics works.
For instance, depression may run genetically, but it's often triggered and set off by certain experiences in a child's life that basically turn the gene one. One can have the gene and never have it set off. Same goes for a lot of diseases/disorders that are influenced heavily by environment. And even in the case of certain fully genetic ones, environment STILL plays a huge role to coping with any specific condition.
Second, a lot of having kids is about the notion of free labor. This is common and has been in human history through out pretty much all cultures. More hands to work the field.
Also, intelligence is extremely dubious. There are people who are classified as under average IQ who are perfectly functionable, even though their IQ should indicate that they actually are in need of everyday help. There is a lot we don't understand about human intelligence nor what it even means. We do know that some processes associated are genetic, but we also know that much of how a person turns out is environment and education. Something which most people can't afford to actually give generations because we do very little to make the unfair world even remotely fair.
People actually wonder why the world sucks when we all do bare minimum to raise other human beings, let alone the life quality of the already living and often rightfully embittered.
Ew.. No. If i used that logic on attractive ppl choosing not to date or women choosing not to date, that logic falls flat
Yes, it is selfish of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.
Selfish for whom? Because.... If not careful the ones who call it selfish will also be selfish with what about when we get old ... There is a simple option where all parties can mind their own business, simply, the ones who are SO concerned about the future and are having kids....have MORE kids for a LONGER period of time...that would be selfless, and show they ACTUALLY mean what they say.. Instead of pushing the responsibility on others 🤔
@@virallcullture8585 society
How can one be inconsiderate of someone who does not exist? How am I being inconsiderate or "selfish" to children that I don't have? Explain that to me.