For me, exploring where my inner bully came from really helped me get distance from it. Realizing how much of it came from my mom using shame for behavior correction gave me the ability to use it in my inner reparenting. I don't want to be that kind of mother to my inner child, so viewing my inner bully as a parent abusing my inner child triggered my own protective mother instincts and helped me defend myself. I also find that my autistic brain does really well with creating an opposite good statement for the mean statements that repeat often. Something with a similar length and cadence or something catchy and rhythmic helps me replace the mean statement easier than just basically scolding myself for my bad thoughts. I will come across a quote that speaks to a mean thought I'm struggling with a lot and instead of scolding myself when I'm mean, I just stop and start silently repeating the good replacement thought. Eventually it builds a neuropathway and takes over as the default thought instead of the mean one. It takes time, but slowly after several years of doing it, my default is no longer bullying myself. It still happens because I'm human, but it's specific to certain fears I'm m working through, not just a constant voice attacking everything all the time.
For me, exploring where my inner bully came from really helped me get distance from it. Realizing how much of it came from my mom using shame for behavior correction gave me the ability to use it in my inner reparenting. I don't want to be that kind of mother to my inner child, so viewing my inner bully as a parent abusing my inner child triggered my own protective mother instincts and helped me defend myself.
I also find that my autistic brain does really well with creating an opposite good statement for the mean statements that repeat often. Something with a similar length and cadence or something catchy and rhythmic helps me replace the mean statement easier than just basically scolding myself for my bad thoughts.
I will come across a quote that speaks to a mean thought I'm struggling with a lot and instead of scolding myself when I'm mean, I just stop and start silently repeating the good replacement thought. Eventually it builds a neuropathway and takes over as the default thought instead of the mean one.
It takes time, but slowly after several years of doing it, my default is no longer bullying myself. It still happens because I'm human, but it's specific to certain fears I'm m working through, not just a constant voice attacking everything all the time.