Morning Tea With Kenton -- When and How Much Do We Help?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ก.ย. 2024
- Good morning friends! Welcome to another day of Morning Tea. Share your thoughts in the comments!
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Great topic! I think this question is only one part of the equation. I think a big part is what that person needs and if they don't want help then it shouldn't be taken as "rude" for someone to say no thanks to an offer. So much to be grateful for but a big one is my career. All the people who helped me get to where I and that had blossomed into a way for me to help, teach and support others both strangers and loved ones. It's been such a wild adventure but worth every mile! Yes, often with these deliveries I think about the impact it may have on someone's life even if it's a small thing like being able to brush their teeth in the morning. Love you my friend 💚
Such a good point. Often we can feel compelled to say "yes" just to be nice, but if we trust people to be the best judges of if they need help, it's a good thing to honor their requests.
I love your gratitude! Always inspiring =) We love you too!
You got me thinking about how to be more discerning regarding how and when I help people. I tend to overdue it and want to save others from sadness or hard times. I never thought about how I might be robbing someone of an adventure or a great learning opportunity, but that can be true. It’s a good reflection for those of us who can be overbearing in our desire to help (maybe to deal with our own anxieties), or who may be too invested in our identities as great helpers.
I like that part about having an identity as a helper. I think I fall into that a lot =)
I've been following the daily video offerings from Elia & Laurie, such a wonderful documentary! Have also been enjoying your morning teas - thank you for your time!! I think you've hit on a great balance. Talking to someone and being compassionate about their actual needs vs your need to help. It brought to mind something that I heard, oh sometime in the last year or so. A person who uses a wheel chair was saying that it is actually scary when a stranger will just come up and start pushing their chair for them. They can't even really see the "helper" and they have no control over where the "helper" is going to take them. It's much better to ask! AND not just ask, but to be compassionate if the person in the wheel chair says, "no thank you" as in their experience sometimes people will be offended and even get angry at them. So to me it's not only a matter of if what one is wanting to jump in and do is actually a gift or not. It's also a matter of doing the deeper work and understanding one's own deeper motives. If one actually gets offended or angry if turned down, then one isn't actually helping out of their care for others. In that case one is only "helping" to feel better about oneself.
In my personal experience, most people don't like to ask for help. If someone is actually asking (like your neighbor asking for help with their vehicle), then there is a need (the parent/young child dynamic is different of course). Offering even more than asked if one is able, is a good thing because again, most people don't like to ask for help and will usually only ask for the bare minimum even if their need is greater. The key is what you said, ask and be willing to accept whatever answer they give.
You also brought time to reflect again on the ways we've been helped through the last few years of health challenges and life changes. Feeling such a sense of gratitude to all those who have given of themselves to help. Your family's gift of time and love is one of those things!!! Thank you, friends!!!
What a perfect example, Trish! One I hadn't thought of. And the trick is that the "helpful" person probably honestly thinks they are doing the right thing! Ah, we humans can be complicated creatures, but your example, I think, adds a bit of clarity to the confusion! =)
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Always makes me smile when I see your tracks =)
@@ReWildUniversity haha yeah - i do that a lot on yt just so the channels know i was there - leave my tracks behind.... its particularly funny becasue of your profile picture
Sometimes the adventurer is the person who is selflessly contributing - who enjoys the benefits of realizing their contributions have gone toward a worthy cause - so the question is:
Does the adventurer have a * worthy * cause?
When someone is traveling from NYC to L.A., I will conclude they are insane - because no one in their right mind would live in NYC and no one in their right mind would live in L.A. - or anywhere else in California - or anywhere in the "west" - or anywhere along any of the coasts - including the Pacific, the Atlantic, the Gulf coast, etc.
No one in their right mind would live along the Atlantic coast * no one in their right mind would live along the Gulf coast * or anywhere near the coasts - for a multitude of reasons - if you don't know the reasons for this, you are not paying attention to the rapidly-escalating horror.
So what is a * worthy * cause?
A person who is truthful and peaceful, kind and helpful is a worthy cause - while a person who is self-aggrandizing - as a self-serving liar - is not a worthy cause - those that lure in their trampling ground and their emotional punching bags by getting others to feel sorry for them are not a worthy cause - people self-destructing on booze and drugs and cigarettes, junk food and toxic hostage situations referred to as relationships are not a worthy cause.
Desperate people are everywhere * so choosing who to help * and who to not help * has become gradually easier for me because I had a bleeding heart for everyone - especially the homeless - however, after years of trying to help the homeless - which included volunteering at a foodbank and included giving several homeless people a free place to stay - after years of that, I realized I wasn't helping them - I was just flushing money down the toilet because they were headed for the sewers - I realized I had to stop trying to help them:
"Do not throw your pearls to the swine."
Who are the swine?
The swine are the * greedy pigs * that allocate funds to booze, drugs and cigarettes and then hold out their hand for help:
At the foodbank, women would come in with their $100 hair weaves and $50 salon nails and hold out their hands for food - because they were having a party - most of the people in the foodbank were poor greedy pigs - taking the poisoned giveaway food - that included the poisoned bleached white flour bread that was loaded down with poisoned high fructose corn syrup while grabbing for the poisons in the cookies and crackers and cake and poisoned canned meat - that the church people so generously and so selflessly donated.
Billions of people are desperate because they suffer from malnutrition while also suffering from poisons while also suffering in a world where the 1% siphon 99% of the world wealth into their control as thousands of luxury high-rise buildings - worldwide - sit mostly empty while dealership lots have thousands of empty cars and while an abundance of food is thrown away at grocery stores and at farmers markets - every single day - while 8 am starting times for schools and universities, offices, medical appointments, delivery drivers, etc., create rush hour traffic that reinforces the illusion of " overpopulation " while airline departure and arrival times are synchronized to create busy airports that also reinforce the illusion of overpopulation while the dumbed down and drugged up, poisoned and programmed, indoctrinated and mind controlled public are oblivious to the obvious conspicuous evil of the billionaires and their millionaire minions that control this world.