@@Bees.Battle I used to believe that too, I was stuck in that place for all my life, and then a few years ago my life completely turned around. I quit my job and made some friends, and now I feel calm and happy. Life can completely change for the better I promise, even after many years. Stay strong!
Man the "I think you mean what you say Wwen you say you wanna die. I think you mean what you say when you say you want to stay alive," hit me HARD i ended up crying lmao
My wife passed away July 17th, 2023. She utilized the MAID (Medical Assistance in Death) program in Canada. This song just hits so hard. I believe what you say when you say you wanna die, I believe what you say when you say you wanna live? That was her final years just encapsulated in 20 words.
This song… as someone who grew up with very mentally unstable ppl I always felt so uncertain of their lives and never processed the trauma of talking with them all night begging them to stay alive.
this is one of the most beautiful songs i’ve ever heard, the lyrics are just amazing. I already know that this song will save so many people, thank you Lucy Dacus
I lost my mother to suicide 5 years ago. Feels like it happened a few days ago each day. I wish she was the person she needed more than the person I needed, *and she was my mother.* I'm so sorry your brother felt that way and did what he did. Please take care
this song feels like mnemosyne, taking me back to deep memories and reminding me of moments when I wished that person would stay by my side. but suddenly, they quietly disappeared, leaving me with a deep sense of longing. their presence was a source of comfort amidst the chaos of our lives, and every word brings me back to those days, filling me with mixed feelings of nostalgia and reflection on what I’ve lost.
Lyrics: Your clothes in the dryer Your hair on the shower wall Your toothbrush is too much Your shoes empty in the hall Your keys on the counter Your dirty dish in the sink Please don't make me see these things The books on your shelf that you never read The hunting knife you kept by your bed The flowers you dried and tied up with twine Suspended from the ceiling You tell me you love me like it'll be thе last time Like you're playing out thе end of a storyline I say I love you too because it's true What else am I supposed to do? Maybe bar the door when you move to leave I think you mean what you say When you say you wanna die I think you mean what you say When you say you want to stay alive Quit your job Cut your hair Get a dog Change your name Change your mind Change your ways Give them time Go back to school, go back to sleep Tell the secret you can't keep Begin, be done Break a vow, make a new one Call me if you need a friend or never talk to me again But please stay But please stay But please stay But please stay
I came across this song with Spotify not long ago. I struggle everyday thinking about suicide in my own head and I’m glad I stumbled across this song. I can’t help but let this song play each time I hear it… It hurts each time I hear it but I can’t help but let myself feel my emotions for a moment and carry on my day.
I was at a boygenius concert with my best friend, and i was sure Lucy was going to sing "going going gone" as she did in the rest of the concerts, and when this song started i went silent for a bit and stared at my best friend like "this song is for you". I had just moved to another continent and i knew my time/interactions with my best friend were never gonna be the same, and i just wanted him to stay and that everything just stayes the way it was.
Are there Julien Baker references in this song? (Get a dog, Go back to school) Anyways, this is such an honest, vulnerable song. Great backing vox from the 2/3 of boygenius!
This song feels so relatable to what I’ve gone through with my last partner, who I still care about but sadly more than she cared about herself. I broke down a little hearing this live. Prompted a cathartic discussion with a friend I went to the show with who was going through something similar with their last partner. Music can heal.
i don't think i'll make it past my 20s. i am so hopeless and there is such a chronic ache in my head. i want to be okay but it's so difficult. i truly have never felt more alone. i am so scared to turn 18 this month. i still feel like i'm the same 12 year old girl, afraid and friendless by the corner just watching everyone else live their lives. i am so sensitive and my attitude is defeatist. i don't know how to be a fighter, or maybe i do, and what i do know is that i don't possess the state of mind to become one. i want to live for my mom. i want to be happy.
my (now-ex)bsf ghosted me to eternity when I shared my exp w this, so ily lucy dacus for making a whole ass song for ur bsf. i wish someone cared ab me that way
I don't think it's only about Julien, I think is dedicated to all her friend (and yes, including JB, but not only her) that live through some harsh times the past years
i originally wanted to share this as an IG DM but it wont let me 😭 so here goes: hey lucy. i wanted to tell you how much your song “please stay” means to me. ik it’s about being there for a suicidal friend or partner but i relate to the lyrics in a slightly different way. there are still themes of loneliness and suicide but when i superimpose your lyrics onto my real life experiences they align SO WELL. and i find that so beautiful that varying the interpretation of your lyrics could help me process such complex emotions the main gist is that i had a very dear friend who helped me overcome suicide 4 years ago. in this time, he was at his lowest too and there wasnt anyone i wanted to protect and love in the world more than him. in school i would notice in PE (or gym in the U.S) that he wasnt running on the school field and that would make me realise he was sick and id text him and wish that he gets well soon. other days when he was sad and sitting by himself at his desk in his homeroom, id sit on the floor next to him as he remained silent. i wanted him to always have someone to talk to because he was my saviour. him leaving was my biggest fear. and eventually he did and it broke me. and the worst part was his nonchalance and how he told me he moved on to different people because he wanted to “distance” himself from his low points which he had apparently associated with our friendship. that was the most brutal thing ive had said to me till today because i loved him too much for him to just associate me with bad memories. unfortunately we ended up in the same class in high school, and it has been taking too long to navigate my feelings towards him heres how i relate to each part of ur song: Your clothes in the dryer ^ he rarely invited people to his house and i have very fond memories of going over to celebrate his birthday. i remember the layout of his house and furniture all too well and it really hurts. i stayed over too late once and his parents were about to come home, so he had to do laundry. and i ended up doing it with him and he hanged his laundry on poles (its an asian thing) but at home i used clothes hangers and he was like perplexed that i did not know how to hang his clothes on the pole and assumed that i had never done laundry before haha we laughed it off after that and it is seared into my mind even to this day Your hair on the shower wall Your toothbrush is too much Your shoes empty in the hall ^ i remember my time with him by his signature blue shoes. they were obnoxiously sapphire and when we started drifting he changed shoes too and i guess i saw it as an analogy for my world turning upside down and him no longer being the person i loved Your keys on the counter Your dirty dish in the sink ^ when i was over at his house i stayed too late and his parents ended up coming home. they offered to cook me dinner and i ate with them. i imagine the bowls of white rice and the big pressure cooker with his mothers chinese beef stew with goji berries in the sink, and his family washing it up afterwards. to me it was a reminder that his life went on even without me there and there are many facets of his life that i would never get to see even though all i do is bask in my memories of him. i guess it adds to my desire of having more moments to recall and the regret of not having spent more time with him. Please, don't make me see these things ^ i am becoming friends with him again, but i know we will never be as close again EVER because he made me feel as though i lost everything and couldnt possibly give it a second thought. when i look at him all these good memories flush through my mind and im begging that my past will someday stop haunting me The books on your shelf that you never read ^ he isnt a big reader so he never really had books. but he used to hang a concert banner on his shelf. it was from the TWICELIGHTS kpop concert in 2019 which we went to together. The hunting knife you kept by your bed ^ he isnt much of a survivalist either. by his bed was an acrylic display and he kept his most valuable gifts inside. amongst them were my letters to him. he once told me that he liked receiving letters from me because he liked my handwriting, and that made me feel so happy and seen and i ended up writing him more. i guess this combined with how i relate to the previous line shows how his house (in the way i remember it) is so marked by the past we had together which only makes it more jarring how he treated me 4 years down the road The flowers you dried and tied up with twine Suspended from the ceiling ^ here is where my interpretation gets a little silly goofy. im sure this was very literal and descriptive of what your friend used to do. but to me it is a very deep cutting analogy. flowers come in such great variety that you are bound to have favourites. fresh flowers are so pretty and delicate, and that to me is representative of all the people he meets in life. drying flowers is like stowing them away when you lack the reason and motivation to water them anymore, and they eventually lose their vibrancy and their shape. thats how it felt like being left behind by him. it felt like a part of myself is still stuck and suspended from his bedroom ceiling, never to return to me again. and more ominously, “suspended from the ceiling” also reminds me of all the instances where i wanted to end it all after losing him. i know its a simple line but this line makes me go absolutely FERAL and sob like crazy You tell me you love me, like it'll be the last time ^ in the time that i knew him, he told me that he loved me twice. i said it a lot more than him but thats okay because i would rather he knew that i adored him without the need of his validation. my love for him was unconditional. when he first said it to me, it was walking out of dinner with his parents on his birthday celebration. i told him i loved him and he said it back. that felt so sweet, sacred and hard fought because i had to say it hundreds of times before he could muster the strength and find the love to say it back. the second time he said it was when i told him i felt we were drifting. and even so, i reminded him that i loved him all the same. he assured me that we werent and proceeded to reciprocate the sentiment. this was over text. and we never spoke again. not for one entire year. Like you're playing out, the end of a storyline ^ cause it literally was the end of our storyline when wr stopped talking I say I love you too, because it's true ^ because i REALLY loved him What else am I supposed to do? Maybe bar the door when you move to leave ^ because i was so terrified of him leaving the world and also leaving me I think you mean what you say When you say you wanna die ^ when he was mentally unwell and i resolved myself to be there to help him through everything because him leaving is a thought i could never possibly comprehend I think you mean what you say When you say you want to stay alive ^ i wanted to be a ray of light in his despair. i wanted to love him no matter what came in the way. he was my everything through and through. even if we didnt talk, even if the whole world turned on him. if all he do is ask, id come running back to his side
continuation: Quit your job ^ he is an overachiever. he does too much and he loses sleep and i get worried all the time. i wish i were in the position to tell him to take things easy and slow and prioritise himself again Cut your hair ^ he did change his hair after we drifted (again quite analogous to my whole world changing) Get a dog ^ he doesnt own a dog but now his fun fact is that he wishes he had one. i forgot which breed or maybe i didnt bother to remember at all because the details of his life simply hurts too much Change your name Change your mind ^ changing how he felt about me Change your ways ^ changing how he approached friends. how he distanced himself from me to distance himself from the memories of his lowest lows Give them time ^ how ive liked him for 5 years. how i met him 5 years ago, went to his birthday celebration where he told me he loved me too 4 years ago, hugged him on a september thursday morning because he asked me to 4 years ago, how he stopped talking to me 3 years ago, how i reminded him i loved him 2 years ago, how we stopped talking at all until this april because we were classmates (taking all the same subjects for A levels, in the same student council executive committee), how he told me he distanced himself from me to move on from his past 6 months ago, how i cried EVERY SINGLE DAY in the past 1.5 years because of him (up to 27 times a week, on the bus rides home, every night before sleep, in my homeroom during recess). everything takes time. healing is IMPOSSIBLY hard and it took time for him to switch gears and get new friends too. and for some sick twisted reason im glad that hes happy even though it meant i was a roadblock he had to tear down on the way Go back to school, go back to sleep ^ when he slept in his homeroom while i sat on the floor next to him. when he is sad i wish i cld tell him id be there for him and that i would wake him up, that he could “go back to sleep” before his after school enrichment classes start again Tell the secret you can't keep ^ about his past and how hes hurt. get others to empathise with him and care for him like he did with me all those years ago Begin, be done ^ how he meets me, uses me and leaves me Break a vow, make a new one ^ a vow is something so mutual so built on trust and so powerful - just like what our friendship used to be. he broke that and he can just make new friends Call me if you need a friend, or never talk to me again ^ but somehow i wouldnt mind going back to him if he needed someone. the likelier alternative is that he is satisfied with all the flowers that he will hang and dry. ill never be needed again and there will be so many more people at his beck and call (there are SO many people with similar experiences as me when it comes to him) please stay ^ as long as he is still around. its ok. because he saved my life and still means everything to me somehow
imagine someone writing a song like that for you
julien is lucky fr
When Lucy says the words you wish your parents did when you were at your lowest.
This
this is the place I've been stuck in for years and honestly I don't think I'm ever going to get unstuck anymore
@@Bees.Battle I used to believe that too, I was stuck in that place for all my life, and then a few years ago my life completely turned around. I quit my job and made some friends, and now I feel calm and happy. Life can completely change for the better I promise, even after many years. Stay strong!
This might be the first song to ever make me cry my first time listening to it
She's done that more than once to me, but this one, oh God, this one broke me. What an incredible lyricist and voice.
Man the "I think you mean what you say Wwen you say you wanna die. I think you mean what you say when you say you want to stay alive," hit me HARD i ended up crying lmao
I can hear Julian in the background and now I'm sobbing
My wife passed away July 17th, 2023. She utilized the MAID (Medical Assistance in Death) program in Canada. This song just hits so hard. I believe what you say when you say you wanna die, I believe what you say when you say you wanna live? That was her final years just encapsulated in 20 words.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
im so sorry for your loss and may she rest in peace.
I think this is the most emotional song on the album. And the whole album is full of brutally emotional and candid music. So that's saying something.
This song… as someone who grew up with very mentally unstable ppl I always felt so uncertain of their lives and never processed the trauma of talking with them all night begging them to stay alive.
this is one of the most beautiful songs i’ve ever heard, the lyrics are just amazing. I already know that this song will save so many people, thank you Lucy Dacus
graceland too and this song are about julien baker and julien’s favor is a response and all i have to say is that is so cute
brought me to tears
thank you, lucy
thank you, boygenius
listening to claws in your back and then please stay will make you cry. guaranteed
gotta start with go home and throw graceland too somewhere after it (🎶she can go home, she’s not going to🎶)
My brother ended his life this week and this hits so hard. He made me see those things. Take of yourselves everyone.
I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope you are taking care of yourself too
@@niamh8967 Thanks; I'm trying to! Music has definitely been a comfort 🖤
I lost my mother to suicide 5 years ago. Feels like it happened a few days ago each day. I wish she was the person she needed more than the person I needed, *and she was my mother.* I'm so sorry your brother felt that way and did what he did. Please take care
this song feels like mnemosyne, taking me back to deep memories and reminding me of moments when I wished that person would stay by my side. but suddenly, they quietly disappeared, leaving me with a deep sense of longing. their presence was a source of comfort amidst the chaos of our lives, and every word brings me back to those days, filling me with mixed feelings of nostalgia and reflection on what I’ve lost.
Lyrics:
Your clothes in the dryer
Your hair on the shower wall
Your toothbrush is too much
Your shoes empty in the hall
Your keys on the counter
Your dirty dish in the sink
Please don't make me see these things
The books on your shelf that you never read
The hunting knife you kept by your bed
The flowers you dried and tied up with twine
Suspended from the ceiling
You tell me you love me like it'll be thе last time
Like you're playing out thе end of a storyline
I say I love you too because it's true
What else am I supposed to do?
Maybe bar the door when you move to leave
I think you mean what you say
When you say you wanna die
I think you mean what you say
When you say you want to stay alive
Quit your job
Cut your hair
Get a dog
Change your name
Change your mind
Change your ways
Give them time
Go back to school, go back to sleep
Tell the secret you can't keep
Begin, be done
Break a vow, make a new one
Call me if you need a friend or never talk to me again
But please stay
But please stay
But please stay
But please stay
slept while listening to this last night. Haven't really felt understood by anyone in a while now but this song helped thanks Lucy
I feel so emotionally connected to this album. Lucy is my favorite musician and I really love this song!
this is probably Lucy's best song. the emotions... the lyrics. its so sad... but hopeful in a way.
I came across this song with Spotify not long ago. I struggle everyday thinking about suicide in my own head and I’m glad I stumbled across this song. I can’t help but let this song play each time I hear it… It hurts each time I hear it but I can’t help but let myself feel my emotions for a moment and carry on my day.
i hope everything goes well for you :)
I was at a boygenius concert with my best friend, and i was sure Lucy was going to sing "going going gone" as she did in the rest of the concerts, and when this song started i went silent for a bit and stared at my best friend like "this song is for you". I had just moved to another continent and i knew my time/interactions with my best friend were never gonna be the same, and i just wanted him to stay and that everything just stayes the way it was.
one of the most beautiful songs ever to be made. can't get through it without bawling
That really hit me where it hurts, another incredible song
I’ve listened to this song every day since my cousin died. I just really wish he would have stayed.
And to everyone commenting and listening may the blessings shine upon you as well...
Are there Julien Baker references in this song? (Get a dog, Go back to school) Anyways, this is such an honest, vulnerable song. Great backing vox from the 2/3 of boygenius!
Julien Baker got a Dog to not be alone, I remember her saying it on an interview.
i think this is Lucy’s Graceland Too.
besides how gorgeous it is, i love how you can distinctly hear julien in your left ear and phoebe in your right
this song is written about julien also
This song feels so relatable to what I’ve gone through with my last partner, who I still care about but sadly more than she cared about herself. I broke down a little hearing this live. Prompted a cathartic discussion with a friend I went to the show with who was going through something similar with their last partner. Music can heal.
been looping this all day and sobbing
I wish I had a friend like this 😭😭
this song. your music. i swear i wish you knew how much you help people. how much you inspire them. i love you and it's true, lucy!
Maybe my favorite on the album so far.
That's so beautiful and gut-wretching, thanks Lucy
Thanks Lucy, I just sobbed
This song makes me feel things :’ (
These new tracks are hitting me totally! Wanna have this album as soon as possible.
Found this song when it was already too late for him... I miss you my love, I wish you'd stayed.
i don't think i'll make it past my 20s. i am so hopeless and there is such a chronic ache in my head. i want to be okay but it's so difficult. i truly have never felt more alone. i am so scared to turn 18 this month. i still feel like i'm the same 12 year old girl, afraid and friendless by the corner just watching everyone else live their lives. i am so sensitive and my attitude is defeatist. i don't know how to be a fighter, or maybe i do, and what i do know is that i don't possess the state of mind to become one. i want to live for my mom. i want to be happy.
Wow what an experience for the soul...just went on a trip through time and back...needed that release...thank you kindly🌷
You're great Lucy, keep it up!
i saw this song yesterday and tbh i kinda froze up and started sobbing
Beautiful and tender lyrics
Stunning
the domestic atmosphere is so melancholic, the idea of losing something familiar like hair on the showerwall.... god it hurts
my (now-ex)bsf ghosted me to eternity when I shared my exp w this, so ily lucy dacus for making a whole ass song for ur bsf. i wish someone cared ab me that way
possibly my favorite track from the new record. so good
Wow! This is so beautifully done!
Really beautiful Lucy!!!
Lucy I cannot do this today
this song is like genuinely one of the only songs that make me cry like anytime i listen to it
this song made me cry and i think it’s about julien?!!! anyone else???
I don't think it's only about Julien, I think is dedicated to all her friend (and yes, including JB, but not only her) that live through some harsh times the past years
@@gasterrypernambucano7723 yes i read her interviews with pitchfork and you’re right. perfect song !
this song kills me
It took me a second to realize "change your name" was likely referring to someone getting married and not a trans person
My friend ran away last night and this is the only song I can listen to and only thing I can think about
i am,,, crying
Lucy, I want you to know that this album has ruined my life
oh my god is this about julien
yes 😭
R E A L Lyrics 💚🍀
i originally wanted to share this as an IG DM but it wont let me 😭 so here goes:
hey lucy. i wanted to tell you how much your song “please stay” means to me. ik it’s about being there for a suicidal friend or partner but i relate to the lyrics in a slightly different way. there are still themes of loneliness and suicide but when i superimpose your lyrics onto my real life experiences they align SO WELL. and i find that so beautiful that varying the interpretation of your lyrics could help me process such complex emotions
the main gist is that i had a very dear friend who helped me overcome suicide 4 years ago. in this time, he was at his lowest too and there wasnt anyone i wanted to protect and love in the world more than him. in school i would notice in PE (or gym in the U.S) that he wasnt running on the school field and that would make me realise he was sick and id text him and wish that he gets well soon. other days when he was sad and sitting by himself at his desk in his homeroom, id sit on the floor next to him as he remained silent. i wanted him to always have someone to talk to because he was my saviour. him leaving was my biggest fear. and eventually he did and it broke me. and the worst part was his nonchalance and how he told me he moved on to different people because he wanted to “distance” himself from his low points which he had apparently associated with our friendship. that was the most brutal thing ive had said to me till today because i loved him too much for him to just associate me with bad memories. unfortunately we ended up in the same class in high school, and it has been taking too long to navigate my feelings towards him
heres how i relate to each part of ur song:
Your clothes in the dryer
^ he rarely invited people to his house and i have very fond memories of going over to celebrate his birthday. i remember the layout of his house and furniture all too well and it really hurts. i stayed over too late once and his parents were about to come home, so he had to do laundry. and i ended up doing it with him and he hanged his laundry on poles (its an asian thing) but at home i used clothes hangers and he was like perplexed that i did not know how to hang his clothes on the pole and assumed that i had never done laundry before haha we laughed it off after that and it is seared into my mind even to this day
Your hair on the shower wall
Your toothbrush is too much
Your shoes empty in the hall
^ i remember my time with him by his signature blue shoes. they were obnoxiously sapphire and when we started drifting he changed shoes too and i guess i saw it as an analogy for my world turning upside down and him no longer being the person i loved
Your keys on the counter
Your dirty dish in the sink
^ when i was over at his house i stayed too late and his parents ended up coming home. they offered to cook me dinner and i ate with them. i imagine the bowls of white rice and the big pressure cooker with his mothers chinese beef stew with goji berries in the sink, and his family washing it up afterwards. to me it was a reminder that his life went on even without me there and there are many facets of his life that i would never get to see even though all i do is bask in my memories of him. i guess it adds to my desire of having more moments to recall and the regret of not having spent more time with him.
Please, don't make me see these things
^ i am becoming friends with him again, but i know we will never be as close again EVER because he made me feel as though i lost everything and couldnt possibly give it a second thought. when i look at him all these good memories flush through my mind and im begging that my past will someday stop haunting me
The books on your shelf that you never read
^ he isnt a big reader so he never really had books. but he used to hang a concert banner on his shelf. it was from the TWICELIGHTS kpop concert in 2019 which we went to together.
The hunting knife you kept by your bed
^ he isnt much of a survivalist either. by his bed was an acrylic display and he kept his most valuable gifts inside. amongst them were my letters to him. he once told me that he liked receiving letters from me because he liked my handwriting, and that made me feel so happy and seen and i ended up writing him more. i guess this combined with how i relate to the previous line shows how his house (in the way i remember it) is so marked by the past we had together which only makes it more jarring how he treated me 4 years down the road
The flowers you dried and tied up with twine
Suspended from the ceiling
^ here is where my interpretation gets a little silly goofy. im sure this was very literal and descriptive of what your friend used to do. but to me it is a very deep cutting analogy. flowers come in such great variety that you are bound to have favourites. fresh flowers are so pretty and delicate, and that to me is representative of all the people he meets in life. drying flowers is like stowing them away when you lack the reason and motivation to water them anymore, and they eventually lose their vibrancy and their shape. thats how it felt like being left behind by him. it felt like a part of myself is still stuck and suspended from his bedroom ceiling, never to return to me again. and more ominously, “suspended from the ceiling” also reminds me of all the instances where i wanted to end it all after losing him. i know its a simple line but this line makes me go absolutely FERAL and sob like crazy
You tell me you love me, like it'll be the last time
^ in the time that i knew him, he told me that he loved me twice. i said it a lot more than him but thats okay because i would rather he knew that i adored him without the need of his validation. my love for him was unconditional. when he first said it to me, it was walking out of dinner with his parents on his birthday celebration. i told him i loved him and he said it back. that felt so sweet, sacred and hard fought because i had to say it hundreds of times before he could muster the strength and find the love to say it back. the second time he said it was when i told him i felt we were drifting. and even so, i reminded him that i loved him all the same. he assured me that we werent and proceeded to reciprocate the sentiment. this was over text. and we never spoke again. not for one entire year.
Like you're playing out, the end of a storyline
^ cause it literally was the end of our storyline when wr stopped talking
I say I love you too, because it's true
^ because i REALLY loved him
What else am I supposed to do?
Maybe bar the door when you move to leave
^ because i was so terrified of him leaving the world and also leaving me
I think you mean what you say
When you say you wanna die
^ when he was mentally unwell and i resolved myself to be there to help him through everything because him leaving is a thought i could never possibly comprehend
I think you mean what you say
When you say you want to stay alive
^ i wanted to be a ray of light in his despair. i wanted to love him no matter what came in the way. he was my everything through and through. even if we didnt talk, even if the whole world turned on him. if all he do is ask, id come running back to his side
continuation:
Quit your job
^ he is an overachiever. he does too much and he loses sleep and i get worried all the time. i wish i were in the position to tell him to take things easy and slow and prioritise himself again
Cut your hair
^ he did change his hair after we drifted (again quite analogous to my whole world changing)
Get a dog
^ he doesnt own a dog but now his fun fact is that he wishes he had one. i forgot which breed or maybe i didnt bother to remember at all because the details of his life simply hurts too much
Change your name
Change your mind
^ changing how he felt about me
Change your ways
^ changing how he approached friends. how he distanced himself from me to distance himself from the memories of his lowest lows
Give them time
^ how ive liked him for 5 years. how i met him 5 years ago, went to his birthday celebration where he told me he loved me too 4 years ago, hugged him on a september thursday morning because he asked me to 4 years ago, how he stopped talking to me 3 years ago, how i reminded him i loved him 2 years ago, how we stopped talking at all until this april because we were classmates (taking all the same subjects for A levels, in the same student council executive committee), how he told me he distanced himself from me to move on from his past 6 months ago, how i cried EVERY SINGLE DAY in the past 1.5 years because of him (up to 27 times a week, on the bus rides home, every night before sleep, in my homeroom during recess). everything takes time. healing is IMPOSSIBLY hard and it took time for him to switch gears and get new friends too. and for some sick twisted reason im glad that hes happy even though it meant i was a roadblock he had to tear down on the way
Go back to school, go back to sleep
^ when he slept in his homeroom while i sat on the floor next to him. when he is sad i wish i cld tell him id be there for him and that i would wake him up, that he could “go back to sleep” before his after school enrichment classes start again
Tell the secret you can't keep
^ about his past and how hes hurt. get others to empathise with him and care for him like he did with me all those years ago
Begin, be done
^ how he meets me, uses me and leaves me
Break a vow, make a new one
^ a vow is something so mutual so built on trust and so powerful - just like what our friendship used to be. he broke that and he can just make new friends
Call me if you need a friend, or never talk to me again
^ but somehow i wouldnt mind going back to him if he needed someone. the likelier alternative is that he is satisfied with all the flowers that he will hang and dry. ill never be needed again and there will be so many more people at his beck and call (there are SO many people with similar experiences as me when it comes to him)
please stay
^ as long as he is still around. its ok. because he saved my life and still means everything to me somehow
😭💙
all i can think of is ash and eiji
THIS IS CRAZY
Hey Lucy, I’m not sure how to call you!
I wanna die and stay alive?
Hang on who disliked this
If Lucy says don't kys, you better not you guys