I came across you ages ago. Had a brief listen, and switched it off. I knew I wasn't ready. Today I watched 4 of your videos back 2 back. Your the only person that can make me cry just like that. Thank you Candice
okay, I'm in the path of putting my inner voice to be heard by me. And since I've been committing to it, I found your channel and last year I finally found my voice, my true voice. So, thank you..
Thank you so much Candace, you've been helping me during my darkest days. I really want to heal, but no money for therapy so i just try to meditate and heal on my own. I hope I can heal quickly😢
I am about see a therapist tomorrow... and I pray to God he can help me get dipper into my feelings and the attachment trauma I am experiencing. I pray to God to finally get healed and cured from all this that no longer serves my highest good and potential....
will be watching and posting further when its not so late..like 1:30 am and Im bushed! Love the wise guide inside. love it. Candice is awesome!! understatement.
Wow! That was so enlighting! I also was suddenly taken away from breastfeeding, but never fully understood how that was related to feeling how I feel around myself and relationships. My mother doesn’t really want to talk about it, and I haven’t been able to figure it out on my own. I cannot tell you just how many of your videos I’ve been watching this past week and how helpful they are being. I feel I’ve found you at a time in which I’m ready to do this deep internal shift! It feels like after years of inner work, I’m touching something that’s at the root of it all! Thank you so much for having been so courageous and for having the good sense to go in the right direction! Now you’ve become a guiding light to so many of us! 🙌🏻💜💫😊
Wow, Candace. You just helped me so much. I can't believe how much I relate to everything you said. I went though very a similar thing being suddenly put on cow milk, which I was allergic to, after only 1 week of breastfeeding. I was given soy formula after a week of terrible sickness from the cow milk. I also experienced other deep traumas at the same ages you mention you had, 7 and 15. I also relate to people not understanding why I would be going through this because I don't seem like I should be to them. In my effort to heal I have come to a lot of the same realizations as you, too. You took me farther here, though, to what I hoped to finally understand. Why do my triggers still catch me even though I have come so far? I did not see how I was leaving myself. I did not understand the connection to the attachment and abandonment wounds. I cannot thank you enough for this new insight. I feel like my vision just became clearer. This might be one of the most valuable lessons anyone has ever given me. I am so grateful. Many blessings to you, Candace. Thank you for shining your light. 💕🌈❤
This always happens Candace, you must be my spirit sister LOL i was JUST talking about this with my mentor the other day!! And today. Thanks so much for giving further insight ❤🙏
I have a memory of being very young and being left in the hospital and my Dad leaving me . I am getting a Counsellor his week as I am still unsealed after 52 years.
Candace, this is all so well said. Some of these traumas are so primitive that it can be intensely difficult to wrap one's mind around let alone one's emotions. I agree with you that it is intensely important to be supported through this process, preferably by a professional who understands attachment wounds on a pyscho/spiritual level. In spite of all of my own healing work, with same amazingly supportive professionals, I am aware that my earliest trauma is still effecting me. Like you, had a newborn attachment trauma. My mother actually did not nurse me, and instead, my teenaged parents gave me formula. My father, in an attempt to save money, and with his own young, male pride, refused to go to his own father for help, started bringing home powdered formula instead of the liquid. My mother did not mix it correctly, causing extreme intestinal clogging and subsequent hospitalization. According to them, I nearly died and could not be comforted as I was incubated. My father shamed my mother for her "stupidity" and took over. No nursing, no nourishment, no mothering and an arrogant, prideful father who destroyed the mother/infant bond. I have addressed my codependency issues around all of this and no longer look outward or to others as my touchstone. The bigger impact has been on my ability to provide for myself, I just can't seem to break out of this ...
Everyday this woman wakes up being validated all day long. I’ll take her seriously. I’m not being trite. But she has no idea what most of us live with our whole life. She is a winner from the womb.
Len Plummer oh really? Why don’t you watch more of my videos and find out about my childhood. The problem in society is that we JUDGE everything based on how it looks. Look a little deeper my friend
I’ll say again. Simply. Everyday you wake up and easily are validated as a female animal. You won the lottery from the womb. Never said anything else about your life. Or my life story. Your looks and femininety make your life in certain ways easier than mine or countless others. That’s awesome.
@@lenplummer9333 So how long have you been so intimately acquainted with Candace that you are there when she opens her eyes each morning and throughout the day, knowing her most intimate thoughts/feelings and her internal and external struggles, from childhood until now? Her looks and femininity make her life easier than yours or countless others? I'm curious as to your MOTIVATION for writing your response. Perhaps taking some of Candace's advice on looking into those feelings or judgements you are automatically making about her, and women in general, might help you to learn more about yourself and your emotional wounds in this regard?
I often thought about the nurturing topic, because when my mother wanted to breast feed me, I always turned my head away. She then started to feed me with the bottle. She felt rejected by me, she felt as if she was not mothering enough, as if she was not a good enough mother or rather not a good enough woman. I on the other hand think that I felt rejected as a baby, I felt that she didn't want me and so I mirrored her rejection.
So i gonna start singin to myself : "Stand by me, nobody knows the way it's gonna be" till i hear myself. Im screaming out loud my own truth but im too afraid to listen.
dseer13 I understand. A good way to start is to write out what comes to mind. This will help you start to describe how you feel. There is no right or wrong way to do it!
I always knew in some way but this made sense to me..my mother stopped breastfeeding me when I was 3 weeks old. So she could start drinking again at new years eve, what a resolution right? I don't blame her she was 17 and had issues of her own, but I've never been able to form a good comforting connection with her, something I've always wanted. I've never felt good enough..I'm 38 and the cycle is still in motion, and I now see this in the relationship between my wife and I. I need to stay within myself, but when I do I kinda become defensive and then in turn leave others defensive and the blame and judgement and shame comes back down on me.
Facing one's fears or trauma's is a smart idea. It can be done in stages, and with persistence, can result in a healing of our psyche. Not sure if we need a partner or coach to do this though.
What helped you get over the trauma of your mum’s breast milk running out because I found out my mum couldn’t breastfeed me much and I was fed from a bottle. I always felt detached from the tribe and I have a fearful avoidant attachment style.
I would like to know how to not rush in this healing process due to anxiety. I have ED (binge eating), abandonment issues, depression (ig i dont take my meds), etc. I wanna be free of all this, is really exhausting just the fact of living.
What does going in your trauma mean? just keep asking myself where is the pain coming from and trying to answer it? How do I know I'm not just lying to myself come up with reasons that suit my ego narratives?
How about when the breastfeeding stops when you’re 4 months old, because Mom got the flu? And after that, when we’re 4 years old or younger, Mom, who has a violent temper, grabs your hand and does something to you so awful that you’ve blocked it out of your memory, but your body remembers it? And she continues the physical, emotional, and verbal abuse for years after that? Or, shortly after you’re born, your mother almost dies, and so can’t breastfeed you or take care of you?
Is this why I feel lost and distraught after my wife of 25 years had an affair and the thought he her and my daughter not toghether as a family crushes me and destroys me ?
It's frustrating when your childhood is controlled by somebody else. And then you spend the adulthood recovering from the trauma.
Bazinga !!! Absolutely agree!!!
Yes
Really great video, one of your best. Self-abandonment is re-traumatization.
I came across you ages ago. Had a brief listen, and switched it off. I knew I wasn't ready. Today I watched 4 of your videos back 2 back. Your the only person that can make me cry just like that. Thank you Candice
okay, I'm in the path of putting my inner voice to be heard by me. And since I've been committing to it, I found your channel and last year I finally found my voice, my true voice. So, thank you..
Shekar Wylan LOVE this!! ❤️
Thank you so much Candace, you've been helping me during my darkest days. I really want to heal, but no money for therapy so i just try to meditate and heal on my own. I hope I can heal quickly😢
Synchronicity....I need your video right now. Namaste 🙏 ❤️
rraimda727 I’m so glad✨
Same for me. Absolutely perfect timing 😌
I am about see a therapist tomorrow... and I pray to God he can help me get dipper into my feelings and the attachment trauma I am experiencing. I pray to God to finally get healed and cured from all this that no longer serves my highest good and potential....
this is so helpful. i thank god everyday for your channel i swear . id be so lost without you. i never had parents who understood me.
Heartfelt gratitude to you Candace, for this powerful message. Much Love & Many Blessings :o)
Great job explaing even more in-depth with attachment trauma.
Mark Holcombe Thank you so much!
will be watching and posting further when its not so late..like 1:30 am and Im bushed! Love the wise guide inside. love it. Candice is awesome!! understatement.
Wow! That was so enlighting!
I also was suddenly taken away from breastfeeding, but never fully understood how that was related to feeling how I feel around myself and relationships. My mother doesn’t really want to talk about it, and I haven’t been able to figure it out on my own.
I cannot tell you just how many of your videos I’ve been watching this past week and how helpful they are being. I feel I’ve found you at a time in which I’m ready to do this deep internal shift! It feels like after years of inner work, I’m touching something that’s at the root of it all!
Thank you so much for having been so courageous and for having the good sense to go in the right direction! Now you’ve become a guiding light to so many of us! 🙌🏻💜💫😊
Wow, Candace. You just helped me so much. I can't believe how much I relate to everything you said. I went though very a similar thing being suddenly put on cow milk, which I was allergic to, after only 1 week of breastfeeding. I was given soy formula after a week of terrible sickness from the cow milk. I also experienced other deep traumas at the same ages you mention you had, 7 and 15. I also relate to people not understanding why I would be going through this because I don't seem like I should be to them.
In my effort to heal I have come to a lot of the same realizations as you, too. You took me farther here, though, to what I hoped to finally understand. Why do my triggers still catch me even though I have come so far? I did not see how I was leaving myself. I did not understand the connection to the attachment and abandonment wounds. I cannot thank you enough for this new insight. I feel like my vision just became clearer. This might be one of the most valuable lessons anyone has ever given me. I am so grateful. Many blessings to you, Candace. Thank you for shining your light. 💕🌈❤
Thank you beautiful for sharing your experience! 💜 I love how real you are and how much we are alike. I feel so blessed that we found each other ☺️ !
This always happens Candace, you must be my spirit sister LOL i was JUST talking about this with my mentor the other day!! And today. Thanks so much for giving further insight ❤🙏
ForJustice &Truth I love it! It’s my pleasure 😇
Thank you very much for your videos. I can't express too much now, but I am working on it.
I have a memory of being very young and being left in the hospital and my Dad leaving me . I am getting a Counsellor his week as I am still unsealed after 52 years.
Great info and communicated so perfectly as always!
MB York Thank you! Emailing you back shortly xo
I'm with me. Sounds about right.
Fabian A 🌟
This woman is insanely beautiful
The Esoteric Genius it’s distracting
Candace, this is all so well said. Some of these traumas are so primitive that it can be intensely difficult to wrap one's mind around let alone one's emotions. I agree with you that it is intensely important to be supported through this process, preferably by a professional who understands attachment wounds on a pyscho/spiritual level.
In spite of all of my own healing work, with same amazingly supportive professionals, I am aware that my earliest trauma is still effecting me. Like you, had a newborn attachment trauma. My mother actually did not nurse me, and instead, my teenaged parents gave me formula. My father, in an attempt to save money, and with his own young, male pride, refused to go to his own father for help, started bringing home powdered formula instead of the liquid. My mother did not mix it correctly, causing extreme intestinal clogging and subsequent hospitalization. According to them, I nearly died and could not be comforted as I was incubated. My father shamed my mother for her "stupidity" and took over. No nursing, no nourishment, no mothering and an arrogant, prideful father who destroyed the mother/infant bond.
I have addressed my codependency issues around all of this and no longer look outward or to others as my touchstone. The bigger impact has been on my ability to provide for myself, I just can't seem to break out of this ...
Don’t be afraid to post drastic content... people will resonate, you just have to let go of what you think people will think
Everyday this woman wakes up being validated all day long. I’ll take her seriously. I’m not being trite. But she has no idea what most of us live with our whole life. She is a winner from the womb.
Len Plummer oh really? Why don’t you watch more of my videos and find out about my childhood. The problem in society is that we JUDGE everything based on how it looks. Look a little deeper my friend
I’ll say again. Simply. Everyday you wake up and easily are validated as a female animal. You won the lottery from the womb. Never said anything else about your life. Or my life story. Your looks and femininety make your life in certain ways easier than mine or countless others. That’s awesome.
@@lenplummer9333 So how long have you been so intimately acquainted with Candace that you are there when she opens her eyes each morning and throughout the day, knowing her most intimate thoughts/feelings and her internal and external struggles, from childhood until now? Her looks and femininity make her life easier than yours or countless others? I'm curious as to your MOTIVATION for writing your response. Perhaps taking some of Candace's advice on looking into those feelings or judgements you are automatically making about her, and women in general, might help you to learn more about yourself and your emotional wounds in this regard?
Thank you
I often thought about the nurturing topic, because when my mother wanted to breast feed me, I always turned my head away. She then started to feed me with the bottle. She felt rejected by me, she felt as if she was not mothering enough, as if she was not a good enough mother or rather not a good enough woman. I on the other hand think that I felt rejected as a baby, I felt that she didn't want me and so I mirrored her rejection.
How do you even remember that far behind?
She’s on point everytime
Thank you for this 👏👏❤️
6:45 heal
These videos are helpful.
I’m going through internal hell and I can’t shake it.
I wake up an walk in beautiful places, ask the universe for help , show me the way, show me is such a way that I know your there , good walking
Whoa biggest loving headtrip yet I feel safer
So i gonna start singin to myself : "Stand by me, nobody knows the way it's gonna be" till i hear myself. Im screaming out loud my own truth but im too afraid to listen.
Right timing! Thank you so much for this video
Omg I love you!!! Perfect timing to come across your videos. Thank youuu 👌😍💓💓💓
Powerful video. You have some great ones.
i dont have strong emotional intelligence. hard to isolate the emotion...and journal it out
dseer13 I understand. A good way to start is to write out what comes to mind. This will help you start to describe how you feel. There is no right or wrong way to do it!
Thank you Candace.
I always knew in some way but this made sense to me..my mother stopped breastfeeding me when I was 3 weeks old. So she could start drinking again at new years eve, what a resolution right? I don't blame her she was 17 and had issues of her own, but I've never been able to form a good comforting connection with her, something I've always wanted. I've never felt good enough..I'm 38 and the cycle is still in motion, and I now see this in the relationship between my wife and I. I need to stay within myself, but when I do I kinda become defensive and then in turn leave others defensive and the blame and judgement and shame comes back down on me.
I think I'm so close to breaking through...my whole life feeling like this, I hope I can fix this problem before my 2 girls take on this wound...
🌹Thank you Candace! My experience was similar after birth~ Apparently, I had reactions to the formula etc. I was given cows milk at 9 days old...
Some paths are or not my friend it takes time one day at a validate had! The experience
Starts at 1:40
Facing one's fears or trauma's is a smart idea. It can be done in stages, and with persistence, can result in a healing of our psyche. Not sure if we need a partner or coach to do this though.
Ur so brilliant. So much thanx ❤
What helped you get over the trauma of your mum’s breast milk running out because I found out my mum couldn’t breastfeed me much and I was fed from a bottle. I always felt detached from the tribe and I have a fearful avoidant attachment style.
Whenever ur low when ever ur down til here nonfurther push on tbrju
God bless you
It created a secuee space
Yes
wow spot on
When you realize that either you feel limerance or nothing at all.
Thankx so much
Sees the limit od things that xan get intense
I would like to know how to not rush in this healing process due to anxiety. I have ED (binge eating), abandonment issues, depression (ig i dont take my meds), etc. I wanna be free of all this, is really exhausting just the fact of living.
Makes sense yes
Thhhank you
Whoa shift pull on other direction when u get real about how u feel
Love u thank u🌠
What does going in your trauma mean? just keep asking myself where is the pain coming from and trying to answer it? How do I know I'm not just lying to myself come up with reasons that suit my ego narratives?
Can you share some insight on how to process & release anger? Thank you for the video's., they help me get on track every-time i slack off.
How about when the breastfeeding stops when you’re 4 months old, because Mom got the flu? And after that, when we’re 4 years old or younger, Mom, who has a violent temper, grabs your hand and does something to you so awful that you’ve blocked it out of your memory, but your body remembers it? And she continues the physical, emotional, and verbal abuse for years after that? Or, shortly after you’re born, your mother almost dies, and so can’t breastfeed you or take care of you?
Real about how u feel u gwt to heal
Wow. Yes
Familiar
well, how i feel doesn’t n have never mattered.. why would i even try!?
Is this why I feel lost and distraught after my wife of 25 years had an affair and the thought he her and my daughter not toghether as a family crushes me and destroys me ?
Stay yea
Notndetachfromseoulf
Isnt secure
inner critic hm
💖💗💙💚💛🧡💜🖤
Lolol oh spiritual coaching
What is the word you say at 4:18? I can't hear what the word is? "You were never fully in ?????"
She said, "You were never fully the same."
@@AngelOrtiz-xw1jt Thanks. Now I can hear it. Thanks.
@@majoren7 Glad to help 😊
Thank you
This topic is very interesting.
Heads up! There’s a horror ad playing after this.
OhhKikka really? That’s so scary lol
Candace van Dell I gave a warning in case others are extra sensitive to sounds or images.
Thank you so much for making this video. To heal we first need to understand, i am with me. Many love from Amsterdam, stay safe Candace!!
Yaaasss! Wise guide lives inside!!