Responding to Asexual Hate Comments
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 ก.ย. 2024
- Sometimes people are mean to me about being Asexual on the internet. So let's use that as a teachable moment, shall we?
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You've heard abou the gaydar. Now get ready for the... compACE :3
YES I LOVE THIS SO MUCH
Shit, that's good.
I love it. That's amazing.
I'm so happy about this and I'm totally stealing it
This is amazing and I am using this in the future.
Aphobia is so wired. Like, bro why are you mad that I’m not getting laid tf?
And then usually when someone (usually a vag having person) gets laid, they call them a sluut
@@KatKitty_ but when you have a vag and are asexual you get called a prude or nun! 😔😔😔
You just can't win period
Some people are just way too obsessed with sex. It makes me uncomfortable and confused when people do that.
@@yaapeasah4443 actually I was jokingly told that I would be sent to a convent when I was a preteen. It sounds hurtful just in text, but in context it was actually really funny.
Right? Like this aint ya issue but out.
But its also kinda funny it try and hear them out when your in the right head space fir it
Bis, Pans, Aces, and Aros: bonding over the fact that they are opressed even in their own community.
i'm late but hey, dont forget trans people, nonbinary people, people who use neopronouns and,,,
oh wow..it's sad :( (i do agree w you tho, i'm not trynna take the attention from bis pans aces or aros (i'm personally aroace :))
@@real3576 whats a neopronoun?
@@real3576 aroace buddy :D
me, an asexual panromantic: *muffled screaming*
@@alinagolovach7125 neopronouns are pronouns that are different from he/she/they, ranging from xe, ze, fae, ae, ey, e, a, ve, co, hu, thon, to it, one, nounself pronouns, pronounless and emojiself pronouns (only used in online communications).
A guy once told me that I *can't* be ace because I'm "conventionally attractive". He genuinely expected me to be flattered by that. Wild.
Did he really believe that or was he just desperate for a realtionshio?
LOL
in what weird world does that actually work on an ace
he's probably salty he can't get the "good looking person" because they're ace, they deserved that for acting that way tbh
That dude is probably mad you don't wanna get him laid.
Don't know why. But there probably why
Aphobia is literally hilarious
“I am angry that you don’t want to have sex, not only just with me, but with anyone 😡😡😡”
true, i never understood that. i guess people just need a reason to be salty, any reason, that's all.
I also love the "you're too ugly to have sex with anyway" argument.... I'm like "good.... go away"
@@katherineavery4611 if men say im ugly then im doing something right LOL
HOW DARE YOU, PARTICIPATE IN HANKY PANKY IMMEDIATELY!!11!
The best answer for them is "You shouldn't be this offended over no gender wanting to give you their fluid."
I once saw someone say "allos and aces are not real"
Dude so angry he invalidated literally everyone
He probably meant aros but that sentence is so funny. Like "ya know what? no one is valid"
@@hiagain1463 That would be the happy ending
WTF LMAOOO
Only demis are real🤣
Only aros and people on the a-spectrums exist lmao (unless they have the ace/allo override, in which case their being ace or allo cancels their existence)
I honestly don’t understand aphobia. If it’s known that sex without love exists, then why can’t people accept that love without sex exists?
Exactly. I don’t understand it?
I remember that the end of the joke is "And then there's [the person being addressed], with nothing." so maybe that's why?
@@slevinchannel7589 hey no offense but what does this comment mean? Can you explain yourself again if you dont mind?
Because people are inherently horny and can’t imagine someone not being (as) horny. And because not having sex has always been associated with not being successful. Somehow everything is about getting laid, people even pay for that, maybe even feel guilty for having the urge. Idk
At the end, anything that diverges from the status quo is “weird” and “invalid” and has to be the result of some kind of defect to make sense. Because we’re all unique but aren’t allowed to be different; are only allowed to be unique inside a uniform mold
That is why asexuals should only love other asexuals. That way no one gets hurt.
“People both straight and normal” is my favourite new thing ever 😂
I did a bit of a double-take when he said that, thinking I had misheard it.
I was literally about to say this lol. I heard that and i was like "Huh?... OH! Oh my gosh yes!"
I need not add anything beyond what the three of you have said, lmao. All true.
It is funny but a bit offending to heterosexual and it isnt smart because he is responding to hate messages for his sexual orientation.
It needs to be on a shirts, mugs, bags, etc.
You know we're in a fucked up society when _not_ wanting to have sex is somehow controversial.
"different = bad" has unfortunately been a thing as long as humans have :(
@@joshuanorman2 It's fascinating (read: horrifying) how much tribalism is responsible for basically every societal issue.
Dammed if you do dammed you don’t at this point 😭😭😭
In the words of Bo Burnham, "Welcome to the internet, come and take a seat."
It's because of puritanical values I think. Because celibacy is good but only if you're suffering. You have to want sex, but actively not have it. If you have no desire for sex, then you're not suffering.
Ace phobes confuse me like they're mad about people who don't want to have sex
They're just jelly. XD
They probably are so pressed about it because they are scared to find attractive asexual people that would never want to have sex with them (as being acephobe is not enough of a reason to not be attracted to them, in any way possible, even just for friendship)
Same reason people are mad about a bunch of strangers being gay: They're different, and people don't like different, even if it's none of their business.
They're just mad about LGBTQ+ in general
-Sounds like sexual harrasment to me-
Asexual Person: Hey I don’t want to have sex, maybe ever.
People: _Impossible_
Religious people simultaneously: A B S T I N E N C E
Celebrate celebrity
Anime: Baka a na
I seriously don't understand why that is so hard to believe.
@@jacinthlilly3148 lmao that's exactly what I thought! X'DD
I'm asexual, I got me a brain tumor, and I'm really not looking forward to having people assume the latter explains the former. Thanks, House.
I know, right? I've gotten the 'you're not really ace, you're just sick' thing explained to me entirely too often.... especially when I'm the cell and molecular biologist who has the better understanding of the impact of an execratory tumor on libido reduction... guess what, it doesn't affect one's sexual or romantic attraction. Asexuality is not a medical condition any more than any other sexuality.
Oh shit that sucks!
@@anthonynorman7545 I appreciate the sentiment! Luckily nobody has said anything like that yet, my brain tumour is minor, and I love being ace, so it aint all bad ;)
@@DakotaFiles good luck
I get this often (in a similar manner) because I am aro and a victim of abuse. So... most people like to point out that it is probably a fear due to my trauma lmao.
Declare a vow of celibacy no one bats an eye. Declare asexuality and suddenly everyone loses their minds.
Maybe asexual people should declare a vow of celibacy because they'd rather be celibate anyways so... /lh
I feel like that might be due to celibacy being somehow regarded akin to a martyrdom. Along the lines of " omg, you're so brave for doing something like this, I could never!" If that makes sense. whereas if you simply don't feel the need or want to do sth, you're somehow peculiar for that. Similar to how often I have to explain myself as a German for not drinking alcohol of any kind. It's *that* out of the norm for many people which is kinda scary if you think too long about it.
@@D0MiN0ChAn
A fellow German not-drinking buddy! And here I thought I was weird for not seeing the appeal of alcohol.
If you're not desperately white-knuckling it, it's not noble repression and it doesn't count.
@@leahcooper5831 Don’t be a gatekeeper.
so, is atheist a useless label since it is based around the lack of belief in a god or gods? in a world where most people are religious it is important to have a label/community for the non-religious. same with sexuality
My thoughts exactly, but I'm an atheist lol
@Ruben Colon
No it’s not, they just explained why. Mind explaining yourself?
@Ruben Colon so, on one side we have the use of the word being demonstrated, on the other side we have "it's useless"
so it's decided
SO AGREE!
(I do not belive in gods or any religion... Thought I do belive there's something outside the physicle world, just not something like a god expecting us to act a certain way)
I also find out pretty recently that I was asexual and demi panromantic
@Ruben Colon I live in a country that is de facto majority atheist (2016: 18% self-report as atheist and 55% as non-religious). I still find it a useful label. Because I do talk with a lot of people from other countries.
Straight: The door swings one way
Gay: The door swings the other way
Bi: the door swings both ways
Pan: it is a revolving door
Demi sexual:The doors locked, One person has a key
Asexual: The door is actually a wall
I disagree with you on the bi, the ace, and the demi ones.
Bi people =/= only 2 genders, it's more defined as liking 2 or more genders, so it would be that the bi door swings multiple ways, but not always all ways.
Ace is better suited for the 'locked door' metaphor, because it's not like ace ppl can't have sex or can't like it, they just don't desire it. A good metaphor would be that ace is "A locked door, but it depends on the door if the lock has a key."
Demi ppl are similar to ace in that we don't experience sexual attraction, at least not without a close bond with the person, which normally take some time. A metaphor fro that could be "A locked door, but the key suddenly appears after becoming familiar with it."
Asexual: Who needs doors when there isn't even a wall?
Nerf: It's nerf or nothing!
Most asexuals are straight (all be it without sexual desire/interest) - the door is still there you just don't use it. If you are Aro/Asex then it would be the wall
So then what’s omni? Is it the vacuum of space?
"Sex is the expression of love"
i sure hope this guy doesn't have any pets
ඞwhen the aphobe is susඞ
Or kids for that matter...
Or siblings
Or parents
@@VantaDraws Or cousins
As a young ace person, I desperately needed to hear an adult person who thinks exactly the way I do about the validity of my identity. Thank you :)
You are totally valid as a young ace person and if that changes or not, or you discover more about yourself, that is valid too. You are one of us and we are happy to have you in our community.
Paks Garrion Thank you so much, that’s very encouraging!
Friendly reminder that you're not pretending, you're not broken and you are a very much valid :)
I’m also a young ace and I just wanna say that you are never to young to be ace
Tired Peach absolutely. ace is the label that works for us right now, and that’s just the same as anyone else identifying that way. 🤍🖤💜
Why do people have that much of a problem with asexual people? It's not your business, allosexual or asexual
"You're different?!? HOW DARE YOU!"
It because we are happy being Ower sife and they not
It's the aphobia. Bigotry doesn't have logic
Your mad that I’m not doing things? Bro get a life smh. A phobia is just- stupid
because they can't deal with rejection
The comments about childless people being a waste of space makes me wonder... what about cishet people who are infertile?
They usually get a pass because "at least they're trying." It is very weird.
@Voidboxave Yeah but then they get shamed for being “broken” or failing as human for not being able to reproduce. The world is so screwed smh
I guess am a waste of space for not wanting kids.
I’m Intersex and can’t have kids so I suppose I’m a waste of space 😂
They probably left to sniff their brats' scatty diapers after leaving the hate comments.
Aphobes: you're shortening human population
Me: yeah you should thank me for that
Ikr? Isn't the whole idea of their biological defense thing... that asexuality is helping them in the sex/dating market??
Literally, we’ve got so many problems, having more people will only make things worse and adoption exists, easy as that (not quite but better than having children out of obligation)
Adoption still exists and we should be happy people aren’t just aging out and actually getting adopted and being able to live a “normal” childhood
We are already 8 billions
If IM screwing up the population then how about YOU go screw someone for me. Start by leaving to go screw yourself.
One time, I was arguing with someone about gender, then out of nowhere, he just said, “asexual isn’t a real gender” and I just thought… “well… yeah…”
I- ??
lmao bruh!
You should have said "Yes, and neither are homosexual, bisexual, or heterosexual real genders either. Sexual orientations aren't genders. I thought this was obvious. What's your point?" I would have loved to see the look on his face if you said that. He probably wouldn't even know how to respond to such a roast.
Well I can't be angry at him. He's right
I mean he’s not wrong-
My mom: You said you were Trans but now you're Asexual and Panromantic, how is that possible?
Me: Mum, Transgender is my changing of my pronouns , Asexual is my sexual attraction to nothing, Panromantic is my romantic attraction to anyone not based on their gender.
My mom: Oh, sorry sweetie! I hope you aren't upset, I was a little confused.
I love my mother, she is trying her best to support me
Aww that’s so wholesome :)
You had me in the first half not gonna lie
Ey a fellow Asexual Panromantic
That is so sweet
omggg that's so cute and wholesome what the heck
I love how some people are like "how do you not feel sexual attraction, that's impossible!" meanwhile I'm thinking about how come sexual attraction is real and whether people are just exaggerating things or not. I swear If we lived in a society where asexual people were in the majority, that's how allophobia (just go with it) would look like, it'd be claiming that allosexual people are just exaggerating their likings and that sexual attraction isn't real lol
In highschool I literally thought they were all pretending... and then I realised I was the only one pretending.
I know right! In High School I was watching a movie with my friends and there was a scenewbere the characters started making out. I made a 'bleh' noie thinking that's what everyone thought, then looked around because it wasn't getting skipped. They were invested. I was so freaked out, I made up an excuse and left immediately.
I cannot even fathom seeing someone else and thinking "I would enjoy banging that person". Never happened. Ever. It's an informed thing to me, like enjoying sports. I don't get it, this is boring, I'm bored, but since all of you keep showing up, you must be enjoying it, and I believe you know your experiences better than I do, and thus I take you at your word that sports make you happy.
Literally this!
Even now I find it hard to understand that sexual attraction is a thing and I have to remind myself that not everyone is asexual lmao
Same! I always thought people were exaggerating for some reason, and growing up with shows where sex was always such a huge talking point in relationships (not explicitly, but always joked/hinted at slyly bc censors) confused me. Why did it matter so much???
I'm 27 and only recently realized that Sexual Frustration is a real, actual thing that Allos struggle with and when a friend explained it to me, I thought "Dude that sucks, that sounds literally awful. I can't relate though".
It's like if people were Sims, and for Allo people, Sex is one of the Needs bars, whereas for Ace people (or, at least Me), that's not the case. When Allos Need bar for Sex gets lower they start feeling frustrated and upset.
My cousin told me "how do you know you don't want to have sex unless you try it?" so I told him "how do you know know it hurts to stick your hand in a fire if you've never done it before?"
Smart💁🏾♂️
Actually most kids unconciously (or at least don't remember it for later) try to stick their hands like...everywhere. So at some point they probably did, and brain got like "nah, hot=burned=bad". So actually not the best example...
It's more like not getting through the demo. Porno and attractive people are everywhere, the same way they might "choose" what kinks/sexuality they have before geting to it, the same way other can choose that they aren't interested
@@ritaerror7829 I work with kids. I know they try to stick the hands and fingers everywhere, it's how they learn about the world around them. My cousin is 17 and can be an ignorant twat.
Actually (if you do it right) you can stick your hands into fire without getting hurt and I've done it before
You could also have asked him (if he's straight): "How do you know you're straight if you've never had ṣẹx with a guy?"
I'm asexual and aromantic. I'm also a 33 year old female, so I've gotten to the age where well-meaning women feel they have the right to comment on my life. A woman in her thirties who isn't partnered up seems to be fair game for all sorts of advice from friends, family members, coworkers, and strangers. People are very concerned these days with my biological clock, and the fact that as I age, I'm apparently becoming less desirable to potential partners. I find all of it very insulting. I was 12 when I decided I never wanted to marry or have biological children, and absolutely nothing has changed my mind in the past 21 years.
I'm quite young, I haven't come out because I already know my parents wouldn't be happy, but even online people tell me I can't really know because I'm too young, so honestly thank you. It's good to know that there are other people out there who knew who they were at a young age. I feel more valid
I'm 26 and my mom has been telling me to freeze my eggs....She says that I'm going to be too old to have any kids soon. I've told her I don't want to have kids my whole life. It's not even like my sister hasn't already given her three grandsons.
@@rilla5058 I've known since I was 8 that I didn't want children. I suspected I was bi since I was a teen. But I've fought with my asexuality my whole life, because everyone everywhere says sex is so important. I've gone to doctors, I've tried different hormones, I've had all the tests in the world, I've been to therapy. I'm 32 now, and it's time to face the fact. I'm not broken, and I never was. And neither are you. You know you better than anyone else can possibly know you.
KC if anyone ever says your to young to know your sexuality say u where never to young to know your straight
@@rilla5058 bruh- people who use your age as a weapon against you can go jump into icy water-
it's pretty much equal to saying: your *10* YOu can't possibly understand PerSOnAliTy's
Seeing an ace model makes me think what it would be like in an ace world. I'd imagine being able to walk down the street wearing very revealing clothing without being harassed, cat called, ect.
You know, just imagine wearing what you like without being sexualized
It honestly scares me that people will sexualized you even if you are Asexual.
wow... let us wish 😌
That sounds amazing
that would be my dream world
That would be great
It still amazes me that one can be a part of LGBTQ+ and exclude ace ppl just because
As an asexual, I find it sooo annoying and devaluing to have someone (I have no less than 3 lesbians tell me this) say we (asexuals) are not part of the LGBTQ+ community!
@@i_love_rescue_animals ikr! This is sick. While I'm demi, my gender identity is more important to me than my sexual identify/orientation so I don't feel like I have any rights to say if ace ppl can be a part of the community so it cracks me up that someone even further from aces has the guts to decide it. That's ridiculous. That's not their choice to make.
@@yunicelennar7626 What is a demi? Sorry if that is a dumb question, I am still relatively new here.
@@shytendeakatamanoir9740 demisexuals are people who require a strong personal emotional/romantic connection with someone before feeling any sexual attraction to them. This can include sex-repulsion or just a lack of sexual attraction towards strangers / friends / nonpartners.
@@shytendeakatamanoir9740 it's fine! Actually, David really nicely explained it in his video that was mentioned here (the one about meeting the right person I believe). I'm bad with words so I won't give you as good explanation as his, but I will try nonetheless. Demisexual is a part of the ace umbrella; a demi person gets sexually interested in someone they have a strong enough emotional bond (I recommend not judging by the time since some bonds are built quickly, and some take time). In my case, I thought I was like completely asexual since at the time I hadn't had any bonds that would fit the criteria. Later on, I developed a bond with my current boyfriend and only after that I started to understand a bit the sexual attraction allosexual people experience.
Ain’t no way people are hating on asexual people just because they aren’t into sex what sad human beings
Fr
They just can’t accept that Some people are diffrent.
yoooo just realized that vflower's color palette is similar to the ace flag
@@deepfriedpaper Holy shi- it is
VFLOWER
VFLOWER
VFLOWER
Aphobes really be acting like we're some kind of endangered specie and overpopulation cannot exist lol
How tf would we even overpopulate?
Sex?
@@user-lc7zc3jo3x Not just "sex", but sex with the goal to have a baby (because you can have sex for pleasure, if there is protections and no accident, it shouldn't make a baby XD) What i mean is, like we can see, a lot of lgbtphobe use the excuse "you can't make babies" to say we're bad (too much people seems to think the only reason we live is to make babies, and that's sad). But if actually everyone had just one baby in their life, in the span of, let's say, 20 years, we would already be double the population of today (7,8 billion today, so more than 14 billion in 20 years). That's already a lot, but if we continu to live like this for dozen of years, and everyone had one child before they turn 30, there is no way we don't overpopulate at some point. XD (maybe 14 billion would already be considered "too much")
Of course that doesn't count the facts that everyone can die at any age (even before they're even born), and some people are infertile, but it shows how "they don't make babies so they're bad" is stupid logic (even if it's to straight people who just don't want kids). Not everyone can, or should have babies for that matter (the number of terrible parents in the world that mess up their kids is just sad)
And yet, we're more and more every year, with more and more ways to live longer with the progress of medecine (less people dies when giving birth, less people dies from somes illnesses that used to be deadly, we know more about healthy habits...) and technology. Less people die but there is still a lot of birth. So, in theory, yeah, we could be overpopulated one day. I mean, in 200 years, we got from 1 billion people to 7,8, and we could be more than 10 billion in 2050, that's already a lot, so imagine if everyone could and had one or two babies per couple/person ? The catastrophy XD Overpopulation can be real, it might not last forever, but it could happen, it would be stupid to completely deny this possibility.
But well, it's still just a theory right now, who knows what might happen next. All i'm truly is saying is that, if everyone was to live like these people want us to live, making babies... then, with all the ways to keep someone alive, overpopulation would definitely be real (i don't know at what point we can say there's too much humans, but our planet definitely has a limit XD), it would be total chaos. It's just surreal to even think everyone should have a child, to begin with XD
@@pickleproductions5736 I was joking bc a majority of asexuals either don’t want to have sex, or we don’t seek it out actively (its a spectrum so it obviously changes but still)
@@user-lc7zc3jo3x Sorry. The other guy who responded seemed serious so I thought you were serious too.
@@pickleproductions5736 that’s perfectly understandable! It’s hard to tell the tone in which people type without being able to see their face or hear their voices!♥︎
I started going by asexual when I was 14. At the time, while I wouldn’t say I was sex repulsed, I was very uncomfortable with the idea of ever having sex and didn’t think it was ever something I would want. However, because of the way our society is, I didn’t know not having sex was a choice I even had. I had a genuine fear that one day I’d have to have sex, regardless if I liked or wanted it. Stuff like this is why I hate when people act like being ace doesn’t impact a persons life. True, in someways we are an invisible orientation, but in a world where sex is such a huge deal, and asexuality is rarely talked about, of course there’s a huge god damn impact on a person when they find themselves not wanting what everyone seems to think they should
I agree so much
I didn't go by asexual until last year (i was 19) when I learnt that the word exists, but i knew deeeply that I wasn't interested in it since I was, what, 9 or 10 ? I remember when I was 11 and the biology teacher explained how reproducing works (meaning of course, sex). For context, i had a year in advance + was born in november so most of the kids in the class were 13, they seemed to enjoy it or at the very least not care, while I was sooooo disgusted, to the point I started crying in the class. The teacher took it nicely and changed how he explained it just for me, I still to this day don't know if he just thought i was too young for this or if he guessed I could be asexual (because it wouldn't surprise me if he acknowledged it as a thing, he's a wonderful guy). But that was the first real indication for me that the other kids started to think very differently from me, and this class reminded me that it is a thing people do, most people in fact, while I just wanted to shrug off its existence like I always did.
And i still do to this day, do your thing if you want, people, but please don't involve me or force it onto me, i'm not bothering you about your thing so why would you bother me for me not wanting it ?
(I didn't want this to get this long but heck, i'm almost never talking about it irl so i'm getting it off my shoulders online, sorry ^^')
I discovered I was ace recently! I’ve never dated anybody but if I do i know I don’t want sex to be apart of the relationship which is definitely not what most people like. I’ve decided because of that I would rather just have friends instead and I’ve never been a very affectionate person anyway but I enjoy having friends with similar interests as me. I do worry I will end up alone in the later years of my life but who knows. It feels like a lonely road but I would rather be comfortable by myself than uncomfortable in a relationship that is forced.
Same and also didn't have a "label", then, for it, but my perception of those around me, disgusted me, then, AF, and was put off, even more?
Fr though, I’m biro/ace and lived in a pretty conservative place most of my childhood. I thought something was genuinely wrong with me when my friends brought up crushes. Just to not confuse them, and confuse childhood me, I just sorta chose a guy at random that I talked too (maybe a mixture of conservative people and being young but... I didn’t even know what gay meant until my family and I moved elsewhere. FYI my Uncle’s gay.)
I'm not ace but I for some reason relate to you guys - a lot. Anyways here's a story how I almost came out as asexual: I've known that I'm bi since I was 12 - but at 13 I got over my crush and suddenly found everything to do with attraction stupid and useless. (I guess I just was extremely sexrepulsive that time) - people joking that I had a crush on guys I was just hanging out with, or talking with pissed me off - and one day I had enough and came out during class. I was showing three visiting guys around the school and this girl from the other class was like ”Oooh, she's in a hunt for a man”.13 yo me wanted to scream that I was asexual as to say not everyone is obsessed with making out, or instantly having a romance with people they've just met. (Is it even a normal thing to do at that age???) - BUT I forgot the word for asexual, and only had ”bi” on my toungue, so I said ”look, I don't feel like that I like anyone but I think I'm bi and not straight” so why is everyone making it a big deal only when I hang out with guys? Straight is not the default???
It could be that I'm somewhere between allo and demi bc I feel alianated from this mentality of sex being the pillar of relationships. And it annoys me that people claim that ace people aren't oppressed- hell I'm a horny lil bisexual and even I feel pressured by people that assume I like all the basic sexual stuff that ”everyone likes” 💗💜💙🤝🖤🤍💜
I have a boyfriend. I'm ace, he's not. I'm not sexually attracted to him, but he is sexually attracted to. Our relationship works because he knows I don't want sex and he respects that. We're still intimate, but in a different way
@Faith Fontes I got really lucky. I'm still amazed he still wanted to date me knowing I'm ace
I'm so happy for you
That’s amazing! Best of luck to you and your partner, and I think it’s cool of him for respecting you.
@@seineevee thank you so much
Nice! i hope u both have a great day :D!
If a relationship is only worth it because of sex to some people, then that doesn't seem like a healthy relationship to me 🤷♀️
Agree
The subject of many sitcoms
Thats like 75% of relationships out here today. If the sex went away there would be nothing
People: if you're not into sex what are you into
Me: The world is obsessed with sex, I'm obsessed with hand holding. That's what I'm into.
Don't forget cuddling!
And cake.
@@yaapeasah4443 cuddling yes!
@@rosecandy8922 how could I forget! Of course cake! Maybe pie too.
@@tic857definitely pie.
I love the "You say you're ace because you're sad you can't get laid" bits. Some of us didn't figure out we were ace till AFTER we started having sex. Not even bad or traumatizing sex. Physically good, just with no attraction involved. It happens, y'all!
As an ace woman who has not had sex, I can say for certain that it was entirely my own choice and not from others lack of interest lol
Yep. It’s like being mad at someone for not liking pizza or some other popular food. Like, it’s okay but… I can take it or leave it? I’m not gonna go crazy fighting someone just to get some… (honestly I love pizza this was just an example)
yeah that comment also confused me, I mean I've listened to some gay content creators who said they pretended or felt like they needed to like the opposite sex and didn't realize oh wait, that's not what I like until they were older in high school or college. So.... It makes sense that someone who is ace would also try to make themselves feel something they're told they're supposed to. I did, and I'm demi. Been told it's weird to not have any interest in talking about, watching, or touching myself because "Everyone does [watches porn, masterbates, thinks of sleeping with people], you do too." No, I don't. But okay. My boyfriend, yes, I share a bond with him on an emotional level, but before that bond was formed, I didn't. I need that connection. without it, you're just some stranger and your successes or failures will have no impact on my empathy for you.
Feels like watching a nature documentary in first-person lol
I wish that was accurate, maybe I could leave my home with cat calls then
Im not asexual/aromantic myself, but it hurts me to see that so many people hate on ace people :(. can't we just respect eachother?
Fr I don't even make fun of straight people, even tho the LGBTQ+ community actively makes fun of them. I just want to to respect everyone and to be respected by everyone. It's really not that hard to get along
A-moderfucking-greed
I wish. My ace self really does.
You are a pure soul for wanting that and I love you.
I wish everyone had the same mind-set as you.
we can’t ;)
Growing up in the '50s and '60s, with no access to anything even approaching the internet, I was taught by my family and by society that my place in life was to get married, be a good little housewife, have 3 well-behaved children, and satisfy my husband's every need, especially sexually. When I reached high school, my mother started asking me when I was going to start dating. After all, my younger sister had at least 2 or 3 boyfriends at any given time. One night, after my mother had been on the phone for a while, she came into my room to inform me that I had a date to go skating on Saturday night. The date was a disaster. The guy was a freak and a homicidal weirdo. I continued to date him, at least nominally, just to keep my mother off my back. When I stopped seeing him, my sister felt sorry for me and "gave" me one of her boyfriends. He became my partner in the first of my 3 failed marriages.
I always felt like a square peg in a round hole, but I didn't know why. I did have a child with my 3rd husband, and they also never felt like they fit. They had the advantage of the internet, though, and, through it found they were asexual (and one of the founding members of AVEN. As she was telling me all about what she had learned, I realized she was describing me. No wonder I had never been happy trying to live up to what and who I was "supposed to be." i'm 70 now, and I finally feel like myself.
It always makes me so happy when I see the older generation discover and embrace parts of their identity the same way i did thanks to the internet/youtube ! It's a neat little connection.
You are an inspiration to all of us asexuals. Thank you for being yourself. ⬛🟪🟩⬜
Aaaw I’m so glad you found your place in the world! It’s a shame your journey had to be so long and arduous and it took you so long to find support. I guess we all have to try harder to change society. I’m teaching my little brother to be a kind human being so that he doesn’t discriminate against anyone!
Aw well I'm glad you finally figured out who you finally were :]
Personally, being ace isn't the hardest part of my life, but when someone's first response is to question my asexuality, it still hurts.
True. My parents don't even think to question it bc they don't know what it is and that almost hurts more than if they were confused.
It really, really hurts, and I really really wished it didn't.
It also feels horrible to let others down if you're aromantic. I sometimes wish I could experience romantic love just that I could avoid awkward situations. The times I've had to explain "I really like you, but not in that way." Maybe I will someday, but it feels uncanny. I never even had celebrity crushes.
@Gabrielle Harper '24 I gotta admire your dedication, leaving the country so you don't have to make your friend sad :D
@Logan Roof Of course it's the one with the Nazi pfp
"Pff, everybody likes football, you only say you don't to get attention."
"You just haven't found the right team, yet."
"Hey, I could show you what a real footballer is. Wanna touch my ball?"
@Slevin Channel Don't like your own comment, especially when you are ignoring the conversation op wants to have in favor of something entirely off topic no one wants to discuss with you due to your inherent rudeness. If a group of people are talking about cute dogs and you walk in the middle of it and try to immediately change the topic to yesterday's Saturday Night live episode, do you genuinely think anyone would want to engage with you in a positive fashion? Do you think anyone wants to have a conversation with someone who ignores and interrupts what other people are talking about to push a rehearsaled agenda that makes them feel smart. We are people looking to have actual engagements here, not a captive puppet audience you can use for an ego boost.
No I don’t want to touch your ball or any other part of you
Lmao fr 🤣
“I could teach you the way of the STEEL ball.”
I don't like ANY sport that involves a ball. No idea how a grown person can find something as lame and childish as that interesting^^
*"A chair is a chair mainly because of its chairness"*
XD
Hmm yes, this *chair* is made out of *chair*
*C H A I R N E S S*
wow, what an argument.
Ah yes chairness
Ace hate is so confusing. They don’t do anything. it’s like hating people who dislike bread. Like who cares? Who could this even theoretically hurt?
You know what's even worse? Now there are plenty of people who'll despise you for disliking politics.
I mean like seriously. I didn't even expect people to get butthurt over people for disliking politics. 😳
It's like picking on the guy just reading a book over by the fire. What did they do?
Just blind hatred of anyone different
@@americanliberal09because those that are apolitical are people who benefit from the status quo as is. They are privileged people who don't understand the things that others go through.
@@CyberBlastoise 🤔But you do even realize that they're not really a monolithic group that you can easily pin down, right?
And, besides. Nobody gains any advantage for being non-political, because it doesn't provide you anything. That's it.
@@americanliberal09 the only people who are apolitical are people who can afford to be, aka people who benefit from the status quo. Y'all might not be a monolith but that doesn't mean there aren't commonalities.
Also I never implied that you get benefits from being apolitical. I said y'all get benefits and that lets you be apolitical. Big difference.
Tbh, I'm asexual but not aromatic, its... annoying to have to explain this over and over.
I think because a lot of people think that sexual attraction is integral to romance. When it isn’t really. Probably what you define as romantic feelings does also change identification of it.
yeah i feel romantic attraction and not sexual. some people find that so hard to understand and like dude up it’s easy. and even more than that, why’d you wanna know about my sex life anyway? it doesn’t matter
I’m biromantic asexual and I came out to my parents as ace, not as bi. I was so scared that I’d they found out i liked more than just guys, they wouldn’t bear with me anymore, Yet, I feel like if i came out as bi instead of ace I would feel more comfortable around them, now they refer to the convo as The Weird Conversation. It hurts
Same, I’m ace/Biro and I still get people telling me that I’m an emotionless psycho
I thought I was the only one... I didn't want to bring it up that I could feel romantically towards men and women, but I don't feel sexually towards anyone
Just a reminder for comment-scrollers aces that you are totally valid valid and also cute because I said so
Thank you. =)
Makes me happy that people like you are very welcoming and kind~💜
Comment-Scroller Ace here. Thank you
Nice
Thank you! X3
Omg thank you 🥺❤️
I'm not asexual but honestly.. I am so sick of everything revolving around sex ALL THE GODDAMN TIME ! There are way more important things than that in Life and especially in relationships.
I know, right.
It's always shoved down everyone throat's.
In Media, TV, Videogames soo much more.
@@user-sp2jg9rx8r Not only that, even in conversations between people.
Yes, I would like to enjoy my TV/films/books/games without randomly having to put it on the 'oh FFS it's got allo crap in it but I kind of enjoy it outside of this' list instead of on the 'ace safe and I can fully enjoy this without feeling nauseous' life.
Or just dumping it as soon as the allo crap comes in so I don't get to enjoy it.
Uhhh???? I don't expect there to be specifically Ace-safe versions of things but.....!
@@Roadent1241 That would be awesome if there was two versions.
Also, I like allo scenes, but only when it's not completely shown or short, not for the same reasons, obviously. But for example, the fact that Netflix wants ATLA to be more """""mature"""" if you see what I mean, I'm completely against it and I think it is really annoying because not everything is about sex and adding this thing in something that doesn't really talk about it because it's not needed, is really ANNOYING.
And again, I'm not ace at all and it bothers me too..
@@Doleryn Interesting.
Maybe if they did what they do for programs and adverts and put allo versions on past a certain timeslot, or - because there's a lot of ONLINE ON DEMAND WEBSITES - Just upload an edited version legally so we don't have to illegally?? So there's just two versions, one noticably shorter but-!
Seems easy enough.
Here’s a story of me coming out to my mom:
“I’m biromantic asexual with a preference for women”
“No”
Not even joking literally what she said. I sent her a very helpful video on asexuality after that and she understands now but I still find that hilarious
At least it was a uniquely hilarious experience compared to most others. Lol
I'm glad she's excepting now but that's so funny XD. I mean you wouldn't say that about other things "I like the colour blue" "no"
@@robo1513 "I like Pizza" "No"
I’m gonna just make joke
“Hey mom, I’m lesbia-“
“ *N o* “
@@CheezyBois998 Two PFP
"Is it an easier pill to swallow to say 'I'm not sexually attracted to anyone' rather than 'Nobody is sexually attracted to me'?"
Ooh! Ooh! I can answer this one! NO! Because people HAVE been attracted to me and it's awkward as heck! It's ruined relationships that a partner I was only romantically attracted to was also sexually attracted to me and wanted to have sex and I... didn't. And we just weren't compatible there and it was heartbreaking. And it makes looking for a romantic partner so stressful, cause it's like "Will they want sex? And will they get mad when I don't?"
And I must say, as an ace person, it really baffles me that people will insist you can't have romance without sex. Like... are you saying your entire relationship is based on sex? That without it you would just have nothing??? Surely you have things that keep you together even when you're not banging!?
Also, I feel like people who claim that WE think we're better than them for being ace are dealing with some internalized shame that they are projecting onto us. I remember, when I first discovered the ace community, a guy talking about a church group he was in where they would sit in a circle and talk about what sinful temptations they'd struggled with that week, and the others in the circle would affirm them and be like "Yeah me too, it's ok" and share their own experience with it. Well, once guy listed struggling with lustful thoughts, and so everyone had to go around and share their own lustful struggles, but this dude, being ace... didn't have any. And they got mad at him, and among other things accused him of acting like he was better than them.
And i think in some ways it boils down to that. Especially in cultures with certain religious leanings, people have internalized this idea that having and wanting sex is dirty and bad, and especially if you're wanting the "wrong" kind of sex. So then they see us saying "Well we don't want any of it, we don't feel that way" and get it in their heads that we're saying we're better for not wanting the dirty bad thing that they want.
"I am asexual, I do not feel sexual attraction to anyone" is a neutral statement, there is no morality or superiority in it. It's just a statement of one's own feelings and nothing more.
Yes ! The "nobody is attracted to you part", i'd answer that i've had someone being attracted to me, i just never saw the signs and turned them off without even knowing it because i literally didn't think that this could be a possibility, and i learnt about it later when they changed places and someone told me that they had a crush on me.
I'm personnaly not looking for a romantic partner at all (unlike what my mother seems to believe, NO, that girl friend i have is just a friend to me, i don't have a crush on her, SHUT UP please xD) but I can definitely see how it could be complicated for an ace person to find someone that respects that.
And yeah, i totally agree that the "i'm asexual, i'm not attracted to anyone" is a neutral statement that people misunderstand and interprete because of their education.
I live in a place where religion is less and less important, so sex isn't treated as that dirty thing anymore (at least my most people i know), so when you tell people that you just don't feel sexual attraction, they don't understand it either most of the time, but I never saw or heard someone here say that I think I'm better than them because of that.
I've been accused of stomping on hearts because I thought we were friends and they thought something else.
@@raicantgame6634 Finding out about asexuality sure answered a LOOOOOOOOT of questions for me about why purity culture was so hard for people who otherwise had it together FAR better than I did, when it was so easy for me.
@@sarahk5412 Right? I remember in high school seeing girls get pregnant and guys getting in trouble and thinking "Why is this so hard for y'all, just don't do it???" I guess that akin to a gay man telling straight guys "Just don't date girls what's the big deal?" lol
I'm glad my gym class is supportive
"Oh hey what is your sexuality?"
"Ace"
"Oh cool- she's ace too" points to girl
Girl turns around
"Ace buddie?"
" Y E "
wholesome
What a wonderful class ^^
I remember only having straight girls that always asked if I was lesbian and maybe a few other straight girls that were ok. Took a few years to find two wonderful friends that are still in contact with me. One is a homosexial feminine guy and the other is a pansexual trans guy, I'm so proud to have helped my trans friend find his identity.
Ok I'm talking to much and get of the course here.
Have a good day, stay safe and love yourself :3
I am happy for your experience with telling people your sexuality.
@@slavishentity6705 Middle/high school kids ask that stuff all the time
Aw, that’s really cool! I wish it had gone like that for me. One of my classmates asked if I’m straight and I said no, then they were like “so ur gay?” and I said something along the lines of “Not really- I’m ace- asexual.” I explained a bit more when I noticed they were confused and they responded with “So you’ll just be alone forever? That’s sad.” and left me alone with my thoughts. It doesn’t bother me so much anymore, though.
Ok so if gays come out of the closet...
And pansexuals come out of the cupboard
Do asexual's (me and all of you other valid beauties)
Come out of the deck
omg
Yes. I am going to take a Ace card with me on every pride festival.
Non binary people come out of the computer
Ok my joke was bad
actually pan people come out of the PANtry ahaaa, this is my favorite pun as a pan person haha
Yes.
I was on ace meme video and I commented “asexual here, can confirm”, to which somebody replied “disgusting” and i just straight up said “no, i’m asexual”
I assume People sometimes struggle to understand asexuality not because it's about not being attracted to anyone, but mostly because they don't know what the term means. The reason people might find it puzzling is that they think it's similar to other parts of the LGBT community. They might confuse it with being gay or being transgender.
For instance, it's kind of strange when someone reacts with "ew" instead of assuming you'll find a future partner.
I wouldn't consider assuming you'll find a future partner as them being hurtful, because they usually don't mean it in a harmful way. It's more like an annoying comment, and in some ways, it can feel a bit insulting. However, it's generally not intended to be mean. This is something that you might hear often from different people, and it's one of those everyday things you'll come across. It's something you might need to get used to addressing calmly.
I'm not saying that your feelings about it aren't valid, but it's something you'll likely hear from various people. Learning how to handle these situations calmly is important. Reacting angrily might come across as odd, so it's a good idea to find a balanced way to respond.
To people like that I respond "Yeah I know you are but what am I?"
I mean they’re not wrong
A chair IS a chair
lmao. you have clearly never play d&d. A chair is not _always_ a chair. =D
@@druid_zephyrus Chair was An Imposter
@@th3kng276 That Chair is mad Sus
Unless it's an SCP.
@@Emerald__Ace Then it's somtimes mulch
"pansexuals and bisexuals stay so quiet."
I haven't been accused of being quiet since middle school. What the hell are you talking about?
@Fun_Aunt _Meg
I’ll defend all yall! As a Pan person, I am definitely not quiet. Ace people don’t deserve the hate they get, it’s literally about what are *not* doing. People need to chill
@Fun_Aunt _Meg The sad fact is, polysexuals are more sympathetic to aces because we, too, experience prejudice from monosexuals even within the community.
I don't stay quiet. They just think I'm gay
I absolutely ADORE the bi/pan/ace solidarity!
People have told me to shut up sooo much
Aphobes: sex isn't even that big of a deal, why you gotta create an identity based on not caring for it?
Also aphobes: GOBBLE ME SWALLOW ME DRIP DOWN THE SIDE OF ME-
I'm a demiromantic sex repulsed ace and I tried to listen to WAP and I couldn't make it past 30 seconds.
Also Acephobes:
"SoOoO How CaN YoU HaVe LoVe WiThOuT sEx DDuurrrrrrrr"
@@sxlarnxbula3461 you should listen WAP well armed peasants
@@juliaf.6105 dude i love the well armed peasants version
@@sxlarnxbula3461 I was able to get through the whole thing. Mostly because I was trying to figure out why so many people hated it, trying to understand it, and pure curiosity. It wasn’t horrible, but I haven’t listened to it since
When people say "you haven't found the right person" I really want to see "so you're saying I'm demisexual?" As a response.
I'm a young ace person. I'm currently ace. that might change in the future, but that doesn't mean I'm not asexual right now.
people need to learn how fluid sexuality can be, I feel like this is what many have a problem with. we're allowed to grow and change
It's so refreshing to see a comment like this, I'm a young bi person that is currently asexual but that may change.
I thought something was wrong with me when I was with my ex boyfriend (turns out we were just best friends) and the most we did was french kiss because I felt terrible for not recuperating and tried to force myself into it. I will never tell him this as I know if I do he'll blame himself.
If you are an ace person in a relationship don't try to force yourself into feelings you don't have.
Omg same someone is like meee!! I
Mood it's like I am ace probably or maybe not but probably I am ace
@@hammer158 But if sexuality is fluid (and I would go for that too) then can someone really be "born as gay"? (or straight, or bi, or whatever) I think not.
Why did I read "teachable moment" as "technoblade moment"
there’s no escaping the blade my dude
Why did I read your comment as: "Why did I read 'technoblade moment' as 'technoblade moment'" and i was like what that doesnt make sense and then i reread it and was like ooh also i dont even watch technoblade so idk where that came from lol
You’ve gone down the blade path I see. BLOOD FOR THE BLOODGOD
Funny meeting other worshippers here, as for some reason Technoblade’s roleplay/internet persona really radiates ace vibes, to me at least. Why have sex when you can abolish governments?
Nice
When I tried coming out as Ace, I was nearly kicked out of the house. I almost ended up homeless around age 15 for saying I was ace because I noticed that a "crush" to me did not look like that of my peers. A "crush" to me was more like quality time spent with the other with maybe some hugs. Over a decade later, that still hasn't changed. So I will definitely say that we definitely get discriminated against.
My lesbian friend once said "Asexual people shouldn't be part of the LGBT community because they're not oppressed. No one cares that you don't wanna fuck." Boy was she wrong. This was a few years ago though so hopefully her view has changed.
@@commentbot9510 the point of the queer community is gender, sexuality, and romantic minorities sharing our experiences and supporting one another. the fact that we exist as a sexuality minority makes us inherently queer, every identity should be working to help each other gain acceptance. i don’t like validating identities based on how oppressed they are, it’s an opening for competition over who’s the most oppressed, and it makes gatekeeping a big problem.
as an asexual person i’m very aware that i can “hide” more easily than other members of the lgbt community, and i understand in the grand scheme of identities mine doesn’t affect my day-to-day life or safety. but i’m here to support those who need it and spread awareness.i’m not hetero*sexual* and im not using my experience to gain brownie points. i want to support and be supported which is the point of the lgbt community
in recent years (or maybe i’ve just gotten better at avoiding negative comments) i feel like aro/ace acceptance has become much more common, maybe one day nobody will seem out of place for their identities /pos
@@sabersin7694 Why would you not be different from the majority by not being interested in sex? You do realise that the world is very oversexualised, and that not caring about that part is seen as very abnormal, right? I don't know what your definition of 'special' is, but asexuals don't tell other people their identity to feel special, it's just their personal information, which would help people around them understand them better. Also, "just because you made a choice"- makes no sense, sexuality isn't a choice, it's beyond your control. The only thing you get to choose is how you label yourself.
@NeedlesGirl : Sorry to hear you had to experience that. I hope you have found accepting people and find more of them.
wait what does having a crush mean to others-
I didn't understand I was asexual till I was 23.
I grew up in a very conservative religious, large family, and I was always told that having a child and having sex were the goal, what we are supposed to strive for. I was told my whole life by my mother and grandparents how they couldn't wait for me to have kids, how I would make a amazing father (mostly because I raised myself for the most part and did some babysitting for my family and their friends). I played the part of a straight person for so long, going through many relationships, many ending because they didn't understand that I wasn't always "in the mood". I had a girlfriend when I was 18 who was very sexual, like the kind that tries to do stuff in public, we were dating because we both really liked anime (I was kinda stupid with that relationship and ignored so many red flags and just tried my best to be what I thought was a good boyfriend, which ended up being a doormat), Anyway, I ended up saying no so many times that she got really agitated and through a bit of anger and even a threat saying if I didn't give in she would claim I raped her... (that broke me) I ended up giving in, because its extremely rare for a man to have their word taken in those cases as I had seen time and time again. I found out shortly after that, that she had been cheating on me for months, she was caught in a threesome behind a gymnasium, after that I spent YEARS hating myself for not understanding why things had happened, thinking I was broken because I couldn't feel what everybody around me felt.
When I was 23 I watched a D&D game called Critical Role (im a huge D&D nerd for going on 7 years now), in campaign 2 there is a character named Caduceus, and he is Asexual and Aromantic. When I saw his character in that show it hit me, I started looking up what Asexual meant and learned that what I had been feeling for most of my life, while not exactly common, was normal. Representation matters, it really does, and since there is so little of it for Asexual people, I went my whole life up until then feeling broken.
When people say things like "oh this is just a phase, you wernt asexual until recently" or similar things, it breaks my heart a little, knowing that way of thinking will only breed more stories like mine. There needs to be more recognition for asexual people and more good representation.
Well, said. Thanks
Well said, im sorry you were coerced into something you clearly didn’t want to do but it’s clear that you’ve managed well and have grown from this.
Great message, I’m 21 and I’m only just understanding how I’ve felt my entire life and bringing it up to people who don’t understand is extremely invalidating. Ace/asexual representation is definitely necessary, and I could only hope it gets better for a younger generation.
So she actually ended up assaulting you, while threatening that she'd lie about you doing it to her. Psycho behavior. I'm so sorry, man.
I'm trying to make up for lack of ace representation by scouring out characters in media that fit the bill for me. From John 117 to Elsa to Jesus 😂. And characters who are canonically ace, like Hiro from Big Hero 6, the original Jughead, or Data from Star Trek.
The most annoying media trope for me is when most of our rep comes from non-human things (robots, aliens, spirits...), that are shown as less human for their lack of that one specific type of love, usually needing to change as part of their arc.
Omg, Sorry that happened to you. A little advice, when you have to deal with annoying people always press audio recording on your phone 😅, just in case something like "if you dont do that, I will tell that" happens again.
@@_Minos Im much more careful now about who I let into my life, most of my relatives arnt in my life in any meaningful way now so I don't gotta deal with them. In terms of Dating, outside of Long Distance relationships I have remained single, since finding partners when your openly Asexual is difficult as is.
I don't think the idea of recording everything is a good idea, mostly because if you are close enough to the person, you would never assume they are about to fuck you over, like the girl did to me. If I know a person is not trustworthy, im not going to be alone with them at any given time when we arnt in public.
I would totally go to a museum filled with slightly imperfect pride flags!
I’d love to see a bisexual flag where all the colors are just slightly off to the point that they’re all kinda similar and it’s hard to tell where each one begins and ends.
I feel like it should also have a poly flag with the natural log symbol instead of pi
@@jacklandismusic cue my colorblindness cursing me more. Lol
@@colleennewholy9026 meanwhile I have really fine hue differentiation so I'd be constantly telling people "that doesn't look right" without being able to explain how
@@QuikVidGuy you'd certainly confuse me. Lol
You may hear someone say “Sex is the glue of a strong relationship”
Makes me wonder why relationships that spray glue everywhere can still fall apart or just glueing your partner isn’t enough in the long run, how it could possibly burn out if it’s so important? I guess lust isn’t the main component of love...
well, I got two things to say in response:
If it is as sticky as glue, you were supposed to wash it off earlier.
When using glue, if you put it everywhere you are merely making a glaze, you need to put it in the specific location to keep the two items bound.
Now I completely grasp this is unhelpful and probably only funny to me, however, I highly recommend intentional r/whoooosh'ing any morons that use "sex" being primary to relationships. Because then they are forced to elaborate and that usually falls flat as they realize they actually have zero evidence or debate to back up their claims.
Like, I don't have sex with my dead grandfather, but I still value the relationship.
@@druid_zephyrus i don’t quite get it. But nevermind
@@druid_zephyrus Lmao, I get it.
@@thetwelfth9987 no worries, fam. The second part is for you. The first part was for me. I am my own biggest comedy fan.
Tell that one to my sister whose relationship fell apart partly due to sex... Some people
The people who are mad that you're ace, are mostly mad that you're hot but they can't have it.
THANK YOU FOR THIS, THESE WERE MY EXACT THOUGHTS
That explains so much 🤔
It’s my body not theirs. They aren’t entitled to my body without my permission. Ever.
Thank you this actually helps me feel better because my ex boyfriend tired get back with me after HE broke up with me, but by the time he came back I knew I was asexual (he practically helped me realize this when we tried to do "stuff" when we were together, but I never cared for it or liked it at all) and boy was he furious
@@averagetransboi that's the exact opposite lol
I got told I'm selfish for being Ace by a 15 year old boy. I was disgusted wow 😀
That makes absolutely no sense lmao, how is someone selfish by being an ace? I don't understand some people, like seriously.
@@IgnisPeaks this is a wild guess but I'm gonna assume he probably means I'm selfish as in not giving my virginity to someone
@@Fett-Haskesin Well that's just dumb people can find other people. But he probably meant it like you said.
"Omg you won't fuck me nooooo"
I think that's what they mean
@@IgnisPeaks he is an r/niceguy, thar's why
I always feel kinship with my ace peers. I’m bisexual, and I feel like a lot of these stupid reasons people use to exclude ace people are the same as the reasons to exclude bisexual people. Not to mention that biromatic ace people are integral part of bi community. Ace & bi solidarity to make LGBTQIA+ community more inclusive and fun! Much love to you. Your videos are so interesting and educational! Thank you:)
Yes! As a fellow bi/pan, I know full well what it is to feel like to have your entire existence invalidated! That it's "just a phase".
And I am still so angry at that. No one should ever feel that way just because of who they are.
For all that the joke is that dating while bi should be like going to the biggest buffet in the world, being bi has derailed plenty of romantic opportunities for me. Gay people mistrust you and same sex partners assume you’ll leave them at the first sign of difficulty or social pressure. Straight people mistrust you and partners of the opposite sex think you’ll inevitably cheat or ask to open the relationship up when they don’t want to. Now imagine how much of a barrier to potential intimacy and emotional companionship asexuality must be.
YAAASSS ace/bi solidarity!
You're amazing alice!
I've also always felt some sort of kinship to you bi peepos out there. If memory serves me well aces were included in the bi community at some point because no attraction to either gender is just another form of equal attraction to any gender. Naturally beeing bi and beeing attracted to either gender to exactly 50% is unlikely at best but I think the point I'm clumsily trying to make is clear. Y'all rule
The comment that really grated on my nerves was “People pretending like asexuality is as big a deal as homosexuality and bisexuality when it pretty much affects nothing, lmao.” Because it does affect so much. Like I’m asexual but not aromantic. But since so many people want sex in a relationship my prospects are virtually nonexistent. I want to love and be loved but sex terrifies me. I don’t get aroused. I know that sex would be the most unpleasant experience for me, yet no one respects that. They always pull the whole “how could you know? It’s not like you’ve ever tried it.” Like I can know I wouldn’t enjoy being an axe wielding murder without having to “try it” first 😤. I’ve had people try and coerce me into having sex and it’s absolutely disgusting and invaliding as anything. Just because 99% of the population enjoys sex and wants it doesn’t mean that the other 1% is obligated to do and feel the same way. People are so aggravating. Sorry for the rant. Just glad to see I’m not alone.
Don't let anyone force you into Sex.
That's disgusting when people pressure you into it.
@@user-sp2jg9rx8r A-frickin-greed!
Dude seriously I always have to tell someone that yes I am panromantic but I'm asexual so no sex is that an issue. People always either go nope and dip or go yeah no problem and then three days later their like so are you still asexual 😉 like I'm just playing hard to get.
@@zanyawesome30 I had a similar experience. I was messaging a dude, and things were going pretty well. I told him I was asexual from the beginning since I know it tends to be a pretty big deal-breaker, and he said he understood and that it was fine.
Unfortunately, his method of flirting involved a lot of talk about genitals, and I was really uncomfortable. I asked him to stop a few times, then finally asked if he was absolutely sure he'd want to date someone who is ace without trying to change it.
My theory is that when I told him I was ace, he thought he understood it and would be okay with it, and it took a couple days of messaging for him to realize that he actually didn't.
Regardless of sexuality/asexuality NO ONE should try to coerce you into sex. That's so disgusting and i'm so sorry it happened. It could end up being a traumatic experience for you especially since you don't like it, and they're not taking your comfortability into account. You're valid and other romantic/ace people are out there.
"hurr durr aroace people think they're so much better than people hmghgghhgmmgh" yes. yes i do. i am amazing and cool.
Am soo cool and ace. =)
AROACE BUDDY :))
I would say to them "Maybe I'm not better than people in general, but I would say I'm better than jerks like you."
Aroace squad
Aro/aces unite!
imagine being so down bad you refute the existence of people who aren’t down bad.
👏ASEXUALITY👏 IS 👏 REAL👏 AND 👏 VALID 👏
👈😎👈 facts
yessir
Asexuality objectivly exists. If it is moraly good or bad is subjectiv, vut most people don't have anything against it.
yes
🖤🔘🤍💜
Dunno why people get so worked up about asexuals lol. I go about my daily life and sometimes even forget that sex/romance is a thing. You jealous?
actually yes... so much drama
yes. sex and romance is constantly on my brain. help.
If I had a "become asexual now" button I would press it immediately. Then I can just focus on shit I want to do.
@@meowman69420 big mood
Personally I don’t remember it until media or someone irritatingly brings it up. I guess I deserve it for not thinking about sex...?
I used to identify as asexual. When I realized that I really am physically attracted to other men, I didn't want to stop using the ace label at first. I knew from my time as a member of the community that a-spec people are often told they're just going through a phase. So I felt like, if I were to stop identifying as ace, I would be letting you all down in a way? Like I'd be letting aphobes "win"? But I realized that it's okay to change the label I use to better reflect who I am. Besides, there are millions of a-spec people, you guys won't miss one, lol! Jokes aside, it did make me really happy when you said that, even if we change our identities, the time we spent as a different identity is still valid. Thanks for that, David!
If you realize you’re not ace, it’s fine. You’re not letting aphobes “win”. You’re identifying as something that describes you better.
I had similar feelings, but then I realized I'm just a demisexual rather than an ace. Still can relate to so many ace things though, lol
Its about you and not what others think, its great you found something better that describes you! Sexuality is an everchanging thing because our interests and life change constantly.
@Wasabi Lover I did identify as homoromantic asexual for a while. But I realized that I was feeling sexual attraction to other men, which is why I identify as gay now.
Honestly, the a-spec community would be happy and congratulate you for figuring out who you are (or even if it was one step to figuring out who you are). We would be happy for you.
The only people who would make you feel like your letting us down is the aphobes themselves. They are the butts who are making you feel bad about it. You are not gonna let them win by changing to fit an identity oh feel fits you better.
The whole point of being ______phobic (aphobic, transphobic, homophobic, etc) is to make you feel like you can’t be who you are. You are winning by changing it to whatever you feel fits you best. You go! You are a wonderful human even if you might identify as something different in the future. Good job making those aphobes loose one more battle by being yourself! 💜
They always say we are "useless"... What are we? Tools?! 🤣
that's so mean- your value isn't inherent to your sex drive 😭😭😭
@@republicanmapping589 exactly.
it’s an extension of seeing people as only ‘necessary’ inasmuch as they are useful for the ruling class
No but I like the Tool band
from an ACTUAL useless person: you guys are not useless.
Now personally, I'm not asexual I'm pansexual, but I don't get why anyone would would think that asexuality is anything less than equal to gay, bi or any other identification, we're supposed to support each other not put others down. To any asexual reading this, I love you 💕
why thank you
Thank you and I love you.. Demisexual here
Thanks so much. Love from a gray-ace ☺💜
My niece just came out to me as pansexual. I shared with her that I'm asexual. We a nsked questions. We talked about her mom's reaction. It was a great conversation. I feel closer to her, in an asexual way. I think we see each other as equal, as allies. She also said she thinks her brother is gay. I hope he'll tell me if he is. I also had two brothers (I had 4 brothers growing up) who were part of the LGTBQIA community.
I'm demi apparently (recently realized it was a thing that fits my experience) but had I not met my wife I would tell you I'm ace. Basically, thank you. ❤
"I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way" - Jessica Rabbit
One of my fav ace anthems
Jessica Rabbit is an Icon.
I’m so glad others are jumping on the Jessica Rabbit is Ace bandwagon, I love it.
Also I hate how people think they can groom me into believing they're the one who can finally "fix" me and they're my salvation
Like please piss off you're overselling your genitals
People who do that are disgusting.
The phrase “overselling your genitals” is a new one, bravo👏
"please piss off you're overselling your genitals" is such a good like omg
@@Dragonmongamer your comment got liked 69 times.
Here's a rant.
What in the name of all that is good even is "corrective rape"?!
Even based off the "logic" (you haven't tried yet) behind it, rape is traumatic.
Oh. Sorry. I'm guessing they just want to do someone but everyone asked rejected them.
"You can find people both straight and normal"
Killed me
I didn't even know aphobia exists. I mean why would you hate someone for having a lack of sexual attraction. People have too much time nowadays🙄
I think they more so hate the fact that its different and weird. They either don't understand it or can't accept it.
I guess the reasons are:
1) Narrowmindedness and
2) Power aspects. Manipulating people is not an option if your favorite strategy appeals to something that is just not part of them.
Want to have sex with everyone, society will complain. Don't want to have sex with anyone, society will still complain.
People just like to complain 😅
@@Never_again_against_anyone You can call me narrowminded but little do you know my doctor said im actually wideminded
These are the same people that think atheism isnt a real thing because that identifies you as not a thing. Yall. The prefix a- is part of the english language
Wait! There's people thinking atheism isn't a thing?
(Just so you know, I don't belive in god or religion, but I do belive there's something outside the physicle world, so not really an atheist, but saying that atheism doesn't exist is quit surprising and exagerated if you ask me)
Or, say, colorblindness. It's definitely a thing, it's heritable, it quite literally alters the way one sees the world. Is there any call for judgement about colorblind people being bad or wrong or evil? That would be stupid.
@@claireaquos6532 can you elaborate on the half of the last sentence. "Saying that it doesn't exist..." You mean like people saying that atheism isn't real is weird, no? I just need clarification on that part. 😅 (oh, communication is lovely.)
@@cass1099 I modifed my comment
But yes, that's what I meant! Sorry if it came out wrong! English isn't my language
@@claireaquos6532 oh okay! Thank you for clarifying. And it's alright, i understand, english sucks. xd
Why are people upset about the fact I just don't wanna date? I'm boring, so no big loss to them for being unable to date me, and I'm leaving more people out there for them :/
Nobody is boring! We might see ourselves as uninteresting, but there are always other people who will see us as amazing interesting people!
Only a non-boring person would have this insight :)
Congrats! Your comment has gathered many aces' attention and interest in you, so you being boring is even more unlikelier! You are amazing ;)
I really hope you can/have change/d your self perception ! You are your own person with your own way of expression and thought. Though we are not as original as we think, you are still a unique blend of a person.
Finding people who respect your boundaries, or do not attempt to escalate a relationship into a territory you’re not comfortable with really helps with accepting yourself.
But that’s easier said than done. It’s difficult to meet new people but I can only assume positivity for others.
I’ll end this here: you’re a great person ! Start believing it :)
It took me almost 40 years to figure out that I wasn't deeply, fundamentally broken; I was just ace. It was a MASSIVE relief.
When he said "people both straight and normal" that made me laugh for about 10 minutes
I know, right? And I'm straight!
@@jemolk8945 We Stan an ally with good humor! \o/
Me but i couldnt laugh since i would wake people up lol i laughed silently :D
At first I thought I was bisexual, then I thought I was gay, after that I thought I was pansexual, I thought I'd settled on demisexual, but no, no, I'm just asexual. Took about 12 years for me to come to terms with my asexuality because literally everything in this world tells us that we should be sexual. It's nice to finally feel comfortable with myself.
And there is also the thought that if you don't want sex then no one will ever want you because they want sex
Took you 12 years to decide Damn
I thought I was heterosexual most of my life because I have felt sexual attraction, but only in very specific circumstances. Recently, I had started wondering if I was ace, but because I do feel sexual attraction in rare circumstances, I didn't think I could be. Then I realized that demi-sexuality falls on the asexual spectrum, and it all made sense to me. I'm still essentially coming to terms with it. I've always felt the world was majorly hypersexualized, and I didn't understand it because I rarely felt sexual attraction. It is still weird for me to feel like I belong in the LGBTQ+ community. I feel comfortable with who I am--it's the categorization that is still weird for me.
Right? Just about everyone is constantly telling you that sex and romance are attractive to everyone and everyone will experience it one day or another and you just need the right person and-
It's exhausting. I was so desperate to fit into a category deemed normal by the people around me. When I heard about being gay or bi or pan, I was like "Oh, okay. I guess I'll start searching for someone attractive there" but nO one's attractive?? Then I finally learned about ace and aro but I was told that being aromantic is fake. It was so frustrating. I started doing my own research and I realized that yes, aroace does fit near exactly what I've been searching for for years. I'm still kinda scared to 100% come out to my family and friends, but I'm more confident by the day and I think I will, I hope they accept me if I do.
I remember sitting on the school bus, thinking to myself “I think I would feel the same way if I was dating a boy or girl (I didn’t know about other genders at the time), so I must be bi”
Then I got asked out after hearing about asexuality so I just really hoped I was Demi and would eventually develop feelings because I really liked the person as a friend and didn’t want to hurt them.
Now we’re still friends and I have accepted that I’m aroace
For the "well thought out point", I would note that blind/deaf/other disabled people do in fact define themselves by something that they don't (and often can't) experience.
and atheists
and homeless people
Humans identity themselves by being a human.
And illiterates. The list goes on 😅
as a half blind acearo spec, I agree
I had a lady get mad at me once because apparently she had problems with getting pregnant and I wasn't interested in doing the thing that gets you pregnant and she took that personally for some reason.
"Have fun having children haha"
1. Do you know anything about science???
2. Who said that I want a child... Literally....
I would adopt or foster-
@meow purr e x a c t l y
Sorry mother and father the only baby I will have to give yall are fur babies 😎
I make jokes about how it would have to be immaculate conception for me to have a kid.
I love when people act like they’re pulling a Yu-Gi-Oh trap card when they go “asexual means you reproduce on your own without someone else! So you’re saying your a sea cucumber or something?!?!?”
Yes. Yes, I am a sea cucumber.
I just spew a egg out my mouth on my death ,so I can reincarnate in it and defeat my murderer. -only to adopt his brat,damnit-
Polysemia.
Yes, I reproduce via binary fission like a bacterium. What about it.
As a Demisexual I can confirm I am actually an ameba
@venturoushope2846 OK that's uncalled for
Imagine being so bothered that someone doesnt wanna get with you, that you leave hate comments. These people have the mega brain.
I remember when people would be offended when bisexual people weren't attracted to them.
@@ADerpyReality lmao tf why
@@ADerpyReality I don't care if you're bi, just don't get a crush on me. (2 minutes later) Wtf why aren't you attracted to me??
One time someone told me that nobody would want to **EHEM** me if I kept saying I was asexual-
I just replied with “YES!!”
and ran away.
I've identified as ace since I was 12 and I'm 20 now and STILL ace, like I'm proof young people can be asexual.
Give it another ten years and you’ll be....even GREATER proof that young people can be asexual! ❤️
Thankers I'm 15 and started identifying as Ace around a year ago that calms my anxiety a little
Lol me to
13 and a proud biromantic asexual
Tell that to my mother... I'm 16 and she said that I'm too young to know that I'm not straight
8:00 There's also some people that can't have children, even if they want.
And implying they would be lesser humans because of that is revolting.
I chose to get sterilized since I don't want offspring.
Guess I am a useless piece of shite in their eyes now.
Guess all people are useless in their eyes as long as they don't stop using condoms or contraceptives.
Guess children and women post-menopause are useless in their eyes too, since can't reproduce.
@@missflorathewriter9014 What does Allos mean? I've seen it all over this comment section, but I have no clue what it means. :(
TERFs don't deserve basic rights, and oh thank you!
@@sofiaemerick4790 "Allo" is derived from the Greek for "Other". An "Allosexual" is one that is sexually attracted to an other person
Honestly I wish I couldn’t have children. I would be at least a little less worried about life then.
God the vest, the tie, the nail polish, the eye bags, the RING.
Sir I hope to one day be so blatantly ace as you are
I've been working on it myself lol.
Same
Same, i might get myself a ring like this, i love the symbol it is if you know about it.
About aphobia being widespread, my parent is pretty accepting of LGBTQ+ stuff, if a little confused. And yet she told me that I'm "too young to know I'm asexual". I know this isn't the worst aphobia ever, but it shows that aphobia is everywhere. Sex as a positive/normal thing is so deeply ingrained into our society that I'm not even allowed to acknowledge my own lack of it until I'm old enough.
Thing with biological parents is that they almost by definition are cis het. So that makes understanding of not wanting to have sex a bit more likely. And quite a few parents dream of being grant parents for some reason 😂.
Your parents aren't telling you to ignore or hide certain aspects of who you are. It's more about them not being sure because, well, your parents aren't all-knowing super-beings. They've been through situations when they were growing up where they didn't experience sexual attraction until they were older. Plus, they've seen this happen to others in movies and shows too. That's why they might think that you might not feel it until you're older. They're not saying you can't accept or talk about it. They just believe that things might shift as you get older, because sometimes that really does happen.
That's what my mum said, it's why I haven't come out yet because I know she'll never believe me.
"both straight and normal" king behaviour
YEAH I was laughing so much, also I see you have a izumi pfp 👀
ACNB Animations made an animation about him being ace and he said something along the lines of "the right person won't make you NOT ace, but will accept you for being ace" and honestly, every asexual person needs to know that
That's probably the best way I've heard that phrased.
Aww, that's such a great thought ! ^^ Thank you !
Omg that’s so sweet!
"sex and love are what make us human!"
aspec people: *standing still and looking around in concern*
Even as allosexual I still consider that claim sus as heck.
_laughs in voidpunk_
@Charles Fournier Phaneuf One (☝) genetic 😆
I'm not ace, but I hate when people act like sex and love is the only fulfillment in life. 🙄
@Charles Fournier Phaneuf it's like maths
The fact that people get so pressed about someone just not wanting to have sex is confusing as Hell
I believe it's about not feeling sexual or/and romantic attraction, and not directly related to the desire to have sex...
@@I_Am_KoshThe Asexual umbrella is a bit deeper than that. Some Asexuals may have occasional heat, but at the same time think the idea of actually having sex to be gross. Kind of like eating disorders in a way.
Other asexuals are open to romance, just not wishing for sex.
These people who leave hurtful comments over something that literally has no effect on their lives, they're the broken ones.
To say the least!
this is the best definition of every hateful person ever.
Hey man I just want to let you know that my kitten really likes you. She keeps crawling onto my keyboard to try to get to you.
Also, thank you for your videos! So informative and validating
Finally reaching my target audience
No one cares
@@newbeginning9112 Alright
@@Chromaggia good
@@newbeginning9112 I do. What are you gonna do, cry about it?
Homophobes, Biphobes, and Transphobes: It’S nOt NaTuRaL
Aphobes: they don’t want to get laid. That’s illegal.
Aphobes when us: FIRE THE DISINTEGRATION BEAM
I read that in onetopics voice
aphobes when someone has a life that doesn't entirely revolve around getting laid
@@tleafwolf7675 same
Oh man.. The amount of people (especially men) who get mad at me when i say i'm asexual..aromatic🤣and even the LGBTQ community being rude to us ace or bi people. 😶
A few month ago, I replied on a comment, saying that I was too childless and celibate, and that I was perfectly fine without sex.
Everything was fine, but then THAT guy came. Basically, he said that, as I did nothing with my butt, someone should take control over it and make me please a man and breed.
Scary. I'll never come out in real life. 😢
People saying “oh so your demisexual? Your just normal you only want to do people you care about I guess”
Aha yeah not like years of trauma cause me to not be able to participate in such until finally after dating my partner for three years I was able to even consider him in that way without feeling dizzy and nauseous. Yes! Because demisexuals don’t exist we are not real. I get this from our own community and those outside. It’s horrendous.
@@grenade8572 I can sense the creep vibes through the screen 😶
@@grenade8572It's horrible what the Internet allows people to say. But you can come out right here.
sorry for being a guy
That football/soccer analogy is so stupid. So I'll come up with my own stupid analogy.
Imagine everyone in the world loves pineapple. So everyone is always eating pineapple and talking about how great it is or how the last one they had sucked or about the best ways to eat pineapple. Almost every story you come across has a subplot about pineapple or at least some mention of it. And of course, "pineapple sells", so you see advertisements with pineapples in them all the time. But you just don't understand what the hype is all about, you've never been interested in eating pineapple. People try to offer you pineapple, and when you decline, they see you as weird, saying things like "But eating pineapple is what makes us human, you can't just not want pineapple" or "Maybe you just haven't tried the right pineapple yet. You'll see, once you find the right pineapple, you'll want to taste it!". So you think there's something fundamentally wrong with you for not liking pineapple, but then you find out that there's a whole community of people who aren't interested in pineapple and you finally feel like you belong. And then some idiot shows up and says "You shouldn't build your identity around what you're not interested in!" while all of society is continuing to shove pineapple into your face.
Yeah, and you don't need to try pineapple to know what it smells like, or indirectly what it tastes like thanks to countless descriptions. Similarly, if you dislike all sweet flavours only a complete asshole would try to badger you into trying some sort of sweet candy because "it's really good and you will totally change your mind about sweet flavours!"
"No" is a complete sentence.
That's a pineapple fewer dream I don't want to have dude :0
this is a great analogy
*"But eating pineapples is what makes us human"* I'm losing it 🤣🤣
Ace Demi-Panromantic here. Died laughing.
Why are there even asexual hate comments? They literally never push themself on anyone!!!
Ignorance
Because once the haters are turned down a sexual offer by an ace they become pissbabies, or misinformation/misunderstanding/uneducated, or ignorant bigotry. Possibly much more reasons if there are any
Because straight men
@@_KUSH1_
*Bad straight men
Don't forget, not all straight men are evil. I think that's an important thing to keep in mind.
'Cause we're a minority. Pretty sure that's basically the only reason. People hate you if you're different from them and _especially_ if you're different from the majority.
You know, this made me think about people potentially being sexually attraced to me, and that thought makes me lowkey uncomfortable. Like, what? Why? I just want cuddles.
Same.
Cuddles are the best. =)
Or anime/cartoons.
Frrr. The thought of someone liking me that way is 🤢🤢. I just want to cuddle and love someone, I don’t want to have seggs. Why is this so hard for people to understand 😭
@@Hennoooo
I love both. =)
@@user-sp2jg9rx8r Soooo what cartoons did you watch. (I'm not really into anime)
When I was a student my classmates asked me
"what is my type of Boy or Girl?"
I answer them "Well I have absolutely no type of Boy or Girl"
And they tell me that
"I'm weird a girl"
all because I had NO type of Boy or Girl.
Today I'm 21 and I've never been attracted to others.
I started to feel misunderstood by others because my family and my friends told me :
"Maybe you haven't met the right person yet."
“Don't worry will come one day or another."
"It's because you don't go out enough"
"Maybe you'll meet someone and fall in love when you start working"
"But Sophie being in a relationship is very important and too good"
"You don't know what you're missing"
These boring words over and over and over and over and over.
I feel it... the sadest rving, I believed until now (almost 33yo) that the right guy will come and I'll fell in love and feel attracted by him. I just learned about asexuality a few time ago and just identified as ace.
I still don't want to identify as aro, but... pretty sure I am.
it kinda makes me sad for the people who say those things. Is the only joy in those kind of people's lives sex?