"People don't care about your opinion until they think you appreciate theirs." This feels like the best statement my brain wanted to takeaway. Because it's one that applies most especially towards strangers, acquaintances, and unfamiliar situations with people in a current conversation/moment. (Gauging what your friend's current mood is before starting a convo, for example.) It's easy for me to listen but difficult for me to articulate my own words to begin a topic myself. This video is a helpful step for me to figure myself out more thoroughly.
The algorithm suggested your waiting mode video to me, and I enjoyed it and thought I should go through your channel a bit, and holy shit I'm glad I did. You're very thoughtful, have a nice manner of presenting and a really open minded and gentle way of approaching adhd that I've been trying/struggling to tap into myself. I hope you keep at it!
Yeah, I found it yesterday as well. The YT might have changed...but the video really helped me understand. The whole you might be stupid tomorrow really hit home and helped!
@@Taurabirdy Yeah, I hope he does more videos, but at the same time I don't want to pressure him either. It can feel overwhelming. I hope he just documents his own thoughts at the very least. ...and I would love to be able to document mine as well.
Man, your thoughts and advice massively outstand from the sea of cheap adhd advice, I'm impressed. I'm so happy that I found your channel and hope that you will make a new video soon. It would be great if you could answer some of our questions. You research and time spent on tackling ADHD is so valuable and you are bringing so much value by sharing this with the rest of us. Please Please Please keep it up.
KEEP GOING BRO. YOU DONT HAVE TO MAKE A PERFECT VIDEO. Good emotional flow to a video works better than overstimulation. Make something you'd want to watch GO
This is so interesting. A friend of mine moved away last year and we email about monthly loooong emails about everything that is going on in life. So when I respond, I always have to have her email pulled up and I just go through paragraph by paragraph, restating her main point and how I think she must be feeling about that. Then I add paragraphs about what's new with me. And I don't respond specifically to paragraphs that feel like we've reached that "exactly right" point. Those just get dropped in the next email. She does the same. It definitely feels like holding 8-10 conversations simultaneously and my emails take an hour to write but it's only once a month and I enjoy it.
“I don’t know whether to summarize each step or jump to the end and just summarize that part” ahh you put so much of my experience in conversation into words! (Well, *it sounds like* you were articulating my experience haha.) I’ve felt that in my conversations I like try to have a normal convo but there’s often a feeling of something being off and I think this fills in a gap there of intuition. My reasoning is “why don’t we just tell each other what we want instead of making it implicit?” kinda. But I think for a lot of people it just genuinely happens automatically. And when asking questions to try to understand what’s off, people give wrong answers bc the thought literally hasn’t occurred to them and hasn’t had a reason to. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD (I’m 19), kinda curious about ASD but I don’t think it’s worth it for me at this point to look further into that. Another thing is, the part about fully empathizing/clarifying before a topic switch sounds a lot like rubber ducking in programming. I hadn’t thought of it the way I interpreted it from the vid before but it makes so much sense. Thanks for the vid! Lots of insight here :) P.S. your last name is shown in the email at 0:08, probably not an issue for you but wanted to mention it in case it slipped in
I'm glad I'm not alone in this frustration 😄ASD, ADHD and the consequences on general communication are definitely really interesting. I find the symptoms of both tend to tie to the difficulty with implicit assumptions and 'intuitive' complex reasonings that neurotypicals seem to have a natural sense for. And damn, I guess therapy is just rubber ducking. P.s Thank you for the heads up, I'm happy you enjoyed the vid
I found the idea of “transmit / receive” useful. If the other person is on “transmit” mode, they won’t be able to take in (“receive”) anything you say. By reflecting back to them what you’ve heard them say, you’re signalling that you are listening (ie you’re in “receive” mode). It’s part of “active listening”, and in taking a complementary role in the conversation by not immediately competing (transmitting) you offer them space to feel they’ve been heard and then be ready to come into “receiver” mode. And then there’s the non-verbal aspect of communication …. 😊
Even short form text can be like that. 1st person asks a question, 2nd person answers and asks a related question, 1st person asks question about answer and answers question. You end up with 2 seperate conversations going at once Like: 1: do you have a job? 2: yes I'm a roofer, do you have a job? 1: do you do metal or tile roofs? I'm a teacher 2: metal roofs, what year do you teach? 1: year 4, aren't you scared of falling? It either goes on for way to long or one person has to give in and let the conversation be about them
Listening to you talk sounds like you are inside my memories describing my life and experiences. I feel exceptionally seen and validated in my experiences, thank you. I haven't been diagnosed with ADHD (yet) but it's been cropping up through several conversations the last few years and I'm starting to see that it does indeed have a large impact on my life. I actually arrived at this video after watching your "waiting mode" video, which I watched to help myself focus on my urgent-deadline studies... But hey, I learnt a lot from both of these videos and I feel better having made the time to watch them now instead of them lingering in the back of my mind like "hey you should watch that video cos it'll help you study". So now, time to go study. Thank you Luke 🙏
I had to laugh, one thought becomes a firework! That is so me, and having a "conversation" with another that does the same thing is comical. Never getting to the point of the original thought and forgetting what the original thought was. Thank you for sharing, this is powerful information
I don’t know how to explain it, but your videos are somehow the most helpful ADHD videos I have found by far. I feel like I have an ability to articulate things in a well-organized manner when I’m speaking (out loud), but I’m darned if I can write an outline or a planning doc to communicate in any other way. I feel like your speaking in these videos is just so on point!
I can't believe I went this long without understanding how a conversation is supposed to work. It finally makes sense! You explain things really well. Your analogies make the information easy to connect with. Thank you for sharing this.
🎉 I agree, I had the same experience. Algorithm sent me over to the waiting mode video and then I decided to skim through and I found this video. Luke, I don't know you but you just explained communication in a way at the 7 minute mark that I did not get in my 49 years. And I have worked with paraphrasing and I have worked with all of these different styles of having better communication with people but I didn't get it like I just did before. Thank you
Hmmm, your door/firework analogy was very intuitive for me. I really relate to the issue of never opening up door 1 because of the tree of doors that could sprout from it.
This is a really great video and I'm glad you've looked into those resources so I don't have to! I have a few self help/relationship communication books to get through at the moment, to work on better communicating between a hyperverbal/lexic ASD brain (me) and a hypoverbal/lexic ADHD brain (partner) and our communication styles really differ. Understanding the branching and clear structure of: AGREE ONE POINT FIRST, close the branch, THEN move on, is going to be invaluable. So thank you
what a fantastic video, as a viewer you managed to fully captivate me and keep me listening. the points you brought up are very fascinating, ive been having issues with communication myself so hearing your point of view and how you see conversation as this tactile thing, that rather than being a passive process its an active one where you need to be conscious of not only what is being said but also where it leads and where you should control it. keep up the great videos
As a grandma (LOL!) who loves to email, is a communication major and has ADHD I think it might be helpful to differentiate the word "communicate" and "discuss". If grandpa is writing you a long email and telling you his sciatica is acting up, his daffodils are blooming and then he opines on your personal struggles, then compliments you on your youtube channel's growth only one of those four things bears "discussion". Two are just informative, one requires a gracious "thanks, gramps!", but only "personal struggles" requires discussion. Not all communication has to turn into conversation. Some only requires acknowledgement or a polite (another word for "kind") response. "I always loved the flowers in your yard, grandpa!: LOL. And it is perfectly okay to explain you prefer talking in person to emailing. But, in all fairness to grandpa, if he prefers emailing you must respect his preferences just as you hope he will respect yours.
3 minutes in this video. Second video I watched. And I have to tell you how much I ENJOY to follow and surf along your train of thought, your way of delivering your points and your authenticity. (Your speed is perfect and very satisfying 😅) It brings me literally joy to watch your way of working through the questions of living a neurospicy life and am very much looking forward to it! Thanks for putting your thoughts and insights and basically your way of finding your path out there! Hit the abo-button instantly.😊
Bro put out more content more often. Your content is golden. Even the things that you assume everyone know, just say it. Because I think you have built an intricate system for working around your traits, it's basically second nature now. I don't have that system and I want to build it. Your knowledge will be very helpful. Appreciate the work man!
Nicely done! Particularly like the graphic approach and the fireworks analogy. Yours? That said, it seems to me that there are different forms/norms of conversation with different purposes, and that one source of difficulty is when the people involved don't share those norms and aims.
Bruh😭 I found you through your waiting mode video and watching this, I got so excited to start binging all your videos from the start. Then I went to your videos and flicked hard at my screen to scroll to the bottom and there's only 4 videos. 😭😭😭 *cries* Ah well... I am subscribed and look forward to future videos! You got this dude!!!
Ok so almost like mirror and add to everything they as they bring up each branch of a topic, until they say “yes, exactly!” Once that topic has been resolved like that, the branch can be cut and a new branch can start to grow? Then you can take the opportunity to start or let them carry on. Imma try this! Also I NEED that task paralysis video! Really resonated with the way you put it in a previous one “laziness is when you can do something but don’t want to, task paralysis is when you really want to do something but can’t”. It’s plagued me throughout my life and I’m glad I now have a simple explanation for it rather than beating myself up for being lazy 😅I feel like I’m in a car and everything’s raring to go but the hand break’s stuck on. Very useful content!
Your channel is a gem, I just found it and I never related so much to someone, I'm not sure if I have ADHD but I'll probably try to see if I get diagnosed, thank you for your videos. I'm pretty scared about it because I never thought I could have this disorder, I don't think I had the problems kids with ADHD have but I highly relate to the adults' symptoms
Hey Luke -- i seriously enjoy your videos, youre a good guy. Your videos on ADHD helped and made me feel hopeful, and im getting screened for it soon. Id love for you to make more content. Lots of love x
I feel like you have summarized a lot of the thoughts I have had over the years, which is likely due to a similar consumption of books and media. I never really questioned and explored why I dislike answering to long emails and end up with really long convoluted answers, that seem inappropriate and time consuming, especially in a work environment. I feel like your explanation of working through A, B, C, D, ... is pretty spot on. If I don't "feel like going through all threads", I selectively pick one or two threads and ignore the rest... But both options feel wrong and consume a lot of energy. That being said, I don't know if I have ADHD, I just know that I am "a little bit different than all people I have ever met"... and I've experimented with speed (amphetamines) once, which made me feel super chill and relaxed and mildly happy... not like most people react to it... but my reaction is kind of similar to how people with ADHD react to amphetamines/ adderall/ ritalin. Anyway, I believe this video is an unexpected gem and I am glad to have watched it.
This model of following the other until they reply "exactly!", can be adapted into model of interior critical thought, rephrasing your own thoughts immediately after you have them, so as to refine and essentialize them. But this is just the first step, now you must see if they hold up by considering premises. Also, here is a game you can throw into a conversation that creates the same vibe: Both People think of a word silently and say it at the same time. Then each considering what word would be the overlap of the 2 words just said, do it again. A good score is 3 or less tries until convergence.
Your videos are really dope. If you’re ever in nyc I’d like to photograph and talk to you for my channel. I don’t think I’d be able to manage my adhd without your advice
I swear to god the amount of dates I had (okay only 2) that got put off by my awkward way of communicating and talking. I am starting to think I'll die alone haha
I used to be super shy and awkward when I was younger so when I went to uni I literally studied books, videos, etc about body language and communication. I even used a training program based on micro expression research from Paul ekman😭. Now I’m great at first impressions and getting to know people etc but I’m yet to figure out the heck I’m supposed to remember all the details people tell me about themselves 😩.💀
For us, communicating gets really hard whenever we are preoccupied with our own stuff. When our head is too loud it's really hard to listen to another. 😅 So it really helps us to declutter our brain first 😂
Luke, Please tell me how you learned to communicate so well and learned so many things. I’d love to learn all of the things you did. But It sounds like a lot to study. Do you know if there is a place where I can find a 1 on 1 coach or teacher to learn all of this information? I feel like I need someone who can learn my situations and teach me and make me practice the solutions. If anyone (not just luke) knows where I can find a resource like this, I’d appreciate it.
Charisma on command has a course. Quite few of the old pua couches switched over into a general self help direction. Just warning you getting one on one time with such people is pretty expensive like thousands of dollars expensive.
ADHD makes me want to engage EVERY topic hahah, its kinda maddening, but medication makes me ride those lightinings in forked up conversations... but (!) i feel what we loose in micro we gain in macro so those are some really great ABSTRACTIONS and maybe the world needs people to think about thinking, and talk about talking some more since we gave up on communication and traded it for joint sessions of speechs
Have you read about active reading? I've been trying to incorporate such practices in my reading. It might not translate well to correspondence but I'm curious if you've given it a try.
Yoo, but how do you end a conversation? I've been practicing how to initiate and maintain a fruitful conversation however I don't know how to escape it. It's the biggest hurdle because the conversation will be great but I imagine that I will sour it if I just say okay great talk I'm leaving. Any advice on how to end the conversation gracefully to the point where they won't keep talking and you'll be able to leave without being rude?
In your Video "how getting diagnosed with ADHD at 22 changed my life" at 9:16 you showed your "island of knowledge" (Health Wiki) and at 9:33 a programm (maybe its the same). I would highly appreaciate if you´d tell me the name of the program or programs. Thank you
What do you think of working with a team, rather than working solo for ADHD? Is it just me, or does having accountability to complete goals and tasks work better than working solo?
With the firework section, I don't see how that's helpful, since I hate being interrupted because if I don't get through my 5 seconds-lasting idea, it goes away while I'm saying something else I probably am not properly understanding. And I meant, if I have 2 ideas at a time, I feel like I have to get through both quickly
I bet you are speaking too quickly for your older relatives to be able to understand you or to follow you. As they age, you will have to speak more slowly and clearly and, sorry, in a more organized fashion ! They start to be torakky intolerant of your jokes most ng around when they turn 80.
![ปฏิเสธไม่ไหว (Crush on you) - LIPTA feat. No One Else [TEASER MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/VC689EgdSIw/mqdefault.jpg)
"People don't care about your opinion until they think you appreciate theirs." This feels like the best statement my brain wanted to takeaway. Because it's one that applies most especially towards strangers, acquaintances, and unfamiliar situations with people in a current conversation/moment. (Gauging what your friend's current mood is before starting a convo, for example.)
It's easy for me to listen but difficult for me to articulate my own words to begin a topic myself. This video is a helpful step for me to figure myself out more thoroughly.
The algorithm suggested your waiting mode video to me, and I enjoyed it and thought I should go through your channel a bit, and holy shit I'm glad I did. You're very thoughtful, have a nice manner of presenting and a really open minded and gentle way of approaching adhd that I've been trying/struggling to tap into myself. I hope you keep at it!
Looks like the same thing happened to multiple people in the past 24 hours. I second your well articulated response!
I had the same experience. I came to the comments to tell him that I hope he is doing well. 😊
Yeah, I found it yesterday as well. The YT might have changed...but the video really helped me understand. The whole you might be stupid tomorrow really hit home and helped!
@@Taurabirdy Yeah, I hope he does more videos, but at the same time I don't want to pressure him either. It can feel overwhelming. I hope he just documents his own thoughts at the very least. ...and I would love to be able to document mine as well.
Hahaha same.
Bro, your videos are top tier. Thank you for existing on here.
Man, your thoughts and advice massively outstand from the sea of cheap adhd advice, I'm impressed. I'm so happy that I found your channel and hope that you will make a new video soon. It would be great if you could answer some of our questions. You research and time spent on tackling ADHD is so valuable and you are bringing so much value by sharing this with the rest of us. Please Please Please keep it up.
KEEP GOING BRO. YOU DONT HAVE TO MAKE A PERFECT VIDEO.
Good emotional flow to a video works better than overstimulation.
Make something you'd want to watch
GO
This is so interesting. A friend of mine moved away last year and we email about monthly loooong emails about everything that is going on in life. So when I respond, I always have to have her email pulled up and I just go through paragraph by paragraph, restating her main point and how I think she must be feeling about that. Then I add paragraphs about what's new with me. And I don't respond specifically to paragraphs that feel like we've reached that "exactly right" point. Those just get dropped in the next email. She does the same. It definitely feels like holding 8-10 conversations simultaneously and my emails take an hour to write but it's only once a month and I enjoy it.
“I don’t know whether to summarize each step or jump to the end and just summarize that part” ahh you put so much of my experience in conversation into words! (Well, *it sounds like* you were articulating my experience haha.)
I’ve felt that in my conversations I like try to have a normal convo but there’s often a feeling of something being off and I think this fills in a gap there of intuition. My reasoning is “why don’t we just tell each other what we want instead of making it implicit?” kinda. But I think for a lot of people it just genuinely happens automatically. And when asking questions to try to understand what’s off, people give wrong answers bc the thought literally hasn’t occurred to them and hasn’t had a reason to. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD (I’m 19), kinda curious about ASD but I don’t think it’s worth it for me at this point to look further into that.
Another thing is, the part about fully empathizing/clarifying before a topic switch sounds a lot like rubber ducking in programming. I hadn’t thought of it the way I interpreted it from the vid before but it makes so much sense. Thanks for the vid! Lots of insight here :)
P.S. your last name is shown in the email at 0:08, probably not an issue for you but wanted to mention it in case it slipped in
I'm glad I'm not alone in this frustration 😄ASD, ADHD and the consequences on general communication are definitely really interesting. I find the symptoms of both tend to tie to the difficulty with implicit assumptions and 'intuitive' complex reasonings that neurotypicals seem to have a natural sense for.
And damn, I guess therapy is just rubber ducking.
P.s Thank you for the heads up, I'm happy you enjoyed the vid
I found the idea of “transmit / receive” useful. If the other person is on “transmit” mode, they won’t be able to take in (“receive”) anything you say. By reflecting back to them what you’ve heard them say, you’re signalling that you are listening (ie you’re in “receive” mode). It’s part of “active listening”, and in taking a complementary role in the conversation by not immediately competing (transmitting) you offer them space to feel they’ve been heard and then be ready to come into “receiver” mode. And then there’s the non-verbal aspect of communication …. 😊
Even short form text can be like that. 1st person asks a question, 2nd person answers and asks a related question, 1st person asks question about answer and answers question. You end up with 2 seperate conversations going at once
Like:
1: do you have a job?
2: yes I'm a roofer, do you have a job?
1: do you do metal or tile roofs? I'm a teacher
2: metal roofs, what year do you teach?
1: year 4, aren't you scared of falling?
It either goes on for way to long or one person has to give in and let the conversation be about them
Listening to you talk sounds like you are inside my memories describing my life and experiences. I feel exceptionally seen and validated in my experiences, thank you. I haven't been diagnosed with ADHD (yet) but it's been cropping up through several conversations the last few years and I'm starting to see that it does indeed have a large impact on my life. I actually arrived at this video after watching your "waiting mode" video, which I watched to help myself focus on my urgent-deadline studies... But hey, I learnt a lot from both of these videos and I feel better having made the time to watch them now instead of them lingering in the back of my mind like "hey you should watch that video cos it'll help you study". So now, time to go study. Thank you Luke 🙏
You and your grandfather must be havimg amazing conversations! I'm amazing how great you guys communicate.
This is helping me so much more than I can concisely say in a TH-cam comment. Thank you...
I hope your channel finds your audience soon, this is great content which is very well made and deserves more eyes on it :)
I had to laugh, one thought becomes a firework! That is so me, and having a "conversation" with another that does the same thing is comical. Never getting to the point of the original thought and forgetting what the original thought was. Thank you for sharing, this is powerful information
I don’t know how to explain it, but your videos are somehow the most helpful ADHD videos I have found by far. I feel like I have an ability to articulate things in a well-organized manner when I’m speaking (out loud), but I’m darned if I can write an outline or a planning doc to communicate in any other way. I feel like your speaking in these videos is just so on point!
I can't believe I went this long without understanding how a conversation is supposed to work. It finally makes sense!
You explain things really well. Your analogies make the information easy to connect with. Thank you for sharing this.
11:25 really love the firework metaphor
🎉 I agree, I had the same experience. Algorithm sent me over to the waiting mode video and then I decided to skim through and I found this video. Luke, I don't know you but you just explained communication in a way at the 7 minute mark that I did not get in my 49 years. And I have worked with paraphrasing and I have worked with all of these different styles of having better communication with people but I didn't get it like I just did before. Thank you
Without exaggeration, you’re changing my life
Hmmm, your door/firework analogy was very intuitive for me. I really relate to the issue of never opening up door 1 because of the tree of doors that could sprout from it.
This is a really great video and I'm glad you've looked into those resources so I don't have to! I have a few self help/relationship communication books to get through at the moment, to work on better communicating between a hyperverbal/lexic ASD brain (me) and a hypoverbal/lexic ADHD brain (partner) and our communication styles really differ. Understanding the branching and clear structure of: AGREE ONE POINT FIRST, close the branch, THEN move on, is going to be invaluable. So thank you
what a fantastic video, as a viewer you managed to fully captivate me and keep me listening. the points you brought up are very fascinating, ive been having issues with communication myself so hearing your point of view and how you see conversation as this tactile thing, that rather than being a passive process its an active one where you need to be conscious of not only what is being said but also where it leads and where you should control it. keep up the great videos
As a grandma (LOL!) who loves to email, is a communication major and has ADHD I think it might be helpful to differentiate the word "communicate" and "discuss". If grandpa is writing you a long email and telling you his sciatica is acting up, his daffodils are blooming and then he opines on your personal struggles, then compliments you on your youtube channel's growth only one of those four things bears "discussion". Two are just informative, one requires a gracious "thanks, gramps!", but only "personal struggles" requires discussion. Not all communication has to turn into conversation. Some only requires acknowledgement or a polite (another word for "kind") response. "I always loved the flowers in your yard, grandpa!: LOL. And it is perfectly okay to explain you prefer talking in person to emailing. But, in all fairness to grandpa, if he prefers emailing you must respect his preferences just as you hope he will respect yours.
This is an incrediblely insightful video, thanks for sharing.
3 minutes in this video. Second video I watched.
And I have to tell you how much I ENJOY to follow and surf along your train of thought, your way of delivering your points and your authenticity. (Your speed is perfect and very satisfying 😅)
It brings me literally joy to watch your way of working through the questions of living a neurospicy life and am very much looking forward to it! Thanks for putting your thoughts and insights and basically your way of finding your path out there!
Hit the abo-button instantly.😊
THIS IS THE FORBIDDEN KNOWLEDGE I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR!!but seriously, thank u for sharing this!
Bro put out more content more often. Your content is golden. Even the things that you assume everyone know, just say it. Because I think you have built an intricate system for working around your traits, it's basically second nature now. I don't have that system and I want to build it. Your knowledge will be very helpful. Appreciate the work man!
Nicely done! Particularly like the graphic approach and the fireworks analogy. Yours? That said, it seems to me that there are different forms/norms of conversation with different purposes, and that one source of difficulty is when the people involved don't share those norms and aims.
Bruh😭 I found you through your waiting mode video and watching this, I got so excited to start binging all your videos from the start. Then I went to your videos and flicked hard at my screen to scroll to the bottom and there's only 4 videos. 😭😭😭 *cries*
Ah well... I am subscribed and look forward to future videos! You got this dude!!!
Ok so almost like mirror and add to everything they as they bring up each branch of a topic, until they say “yes, exactly!” Once that topic has been resolved like that, the branch can be cut and a new branch can start to grow? Then you can take the opportunity to start or let them carry on. Imma try this! Also I NEED that task paralysis video! Really resonated with the way you put it in a previous one “laziness is when you can do something but don’t want to, task paralysis is when you really want to do something but can’t”. It’s plagued me throughout my life and I’m glad I now have a simple explanation for it rather than beating myself up for being lazy 😅I feel like I’m in a car and everything’s raring to go but the hand break’s stuck on. Very useful content!
So you just went and casually blew my f*cking mind on a normal Wednesday evening, I was not prepared.
Sensational analysis! Agree, you will soon have far more followers with this kind of thing.
I find your ADHD videos very interesting and relatable. I am struggling with emails in particular. I hope you post more content like this.
Dude, loving all your work! I'm still ambling through all the setup, but it's already helped a ton!
Your channel is a gem, I just found it and I never related so much to someone, I'm not sure if I have ADHD but I'll probably try to see if I get diagnosed, thank you for your videos. I'm pretty scared about it because I never thought I could have this disorder, I don't think I had the problems kids with ADHD have but I highly relate to the adults' symptoms
Amazing explanation. Thank you for sharing this perspective! Unique & powerful
Really enjoying your channel and videos. I relate to so much of what you're saying. Hope to see more when you can. Best wishes.
Extraordinarily wonderful content. Holy moly.
Hey Luke -- i seriously enjoy your videos, youre a good guy. Your videos on ADHD helped and made me feel hopeful, and im getting screened for it soon. Id love for you to make more content. Lots of love x
Your videos are SO helpful, I hope you will make another one !
🗿🦉 please come up with something like how do you manage learning with adhd. I'm thankful for your content
this was awesome. wonderfully articulated. thank you so much .
I feel like you have summarized a lot of the thoughts I have had over the years, which is likely due to a similar consumption of books and media. I never really questioned and explored why I dislike answering to long emails and end up with really long convoluted answers, that seem inappropriate and time consuming, especially in a work environment. I feel like your explanation of working through A, B, C, D, ... is pretty spot on. If I don't "feel like going through all threads", I selectively pick one or two threads and ignore the rest... But both options feel wrong and consume a lot of energy.
That being said, I don't know if I have ADHD, I just know that I am "a little bit different than all people I have ever met"... and I've experimented with speed (amphetamines) once, which made me feel super chill and relaxed and mildly happy... not like most people react to it... but my reaction is kind of similar to how people with ADHD react to amphetamines/ adderall/ ritalin.
Anyway, I believe this video is an unexpected gem and I am glad to have watched it.
This model of following the other until they reply "exactly!", can be adapted into model of interior critical thought, rephrasing your own thoughts immediately after you have them, so as to refine and essentialize them. But this is just the first step, now you must see if they hold up by considering premises. Also, here is a game you can throw into a conversation that creates the same vibe: Both People think of a word silently and say it at the same time. Then each considering what word would be the overlap of the 2 words just said, do it again. A good score is 3 or less tries until convergence.
Brilliantly helpful. Thanks a lot.
I JUST discover you and , im happy to learn from your content , that 's really interesting
Great video A. Looking forward to videos B, C and D, plus the conclusion video Z
Your videos are great, bro. Make more!
I really like your vídeos 😊
dope video bro, glad i found out channel!
0:48 Love that graphic with the little happy skipping guy. Even though I’ve got a job still undone for several days, and it’s not that big 🙄.
This was a very helpful video. Thank you.
Your videos are really dope. If you’re ever in nyc I’d like to photograph and talk to you for my channel. I don’t think I’d be able to manage my adhd without your advice
I swear to god the amount of dates I had (okay only 2) that got put off by my awkward way of communicating and talking. I am starting to think I'll die alone haha
Bro awesome stuff. Could you make a similar video about dopamine cravings, especially sugar cravings. Would be so helpful. Have a great day
I used to be super shy and awkward when I was younger so when I went to uni I literally studied books, videos, etc about body language and communication. I even used a training program based on micro expression research from Paul ekman😭. Now I’m great at first impressions and getting to know people etc but I’m yet to figure out the heck I’m supposed to remember all the details people tell me about themselves 😩.💀
11:50 so depth first traversal of the tree, not breadth first...
For us, communicating gets really hard whenever we are preoccupied with our own stuff. When our head is too loud it's really hard to listen to another. 😅 So it really helps us to declutter our brain first 😂
Luke, Please tell me how you learned to communicate so well and learned so many things. I’d love to learn all of the things you did. But It sounds like a lot to study. Do you know if there is a place where I can find a 1 on 1 coach or teacher to learn all of this information? I feel like I need someone who can learn my situations and teach me and make me practice the solutions. If anyone (not just luke) knows where I can find a resource like this, I’d appreciate it.
Charisma on command has a course. Quite few of the old pua couches switched over into a general self help direction. Just warning you getting one on one time with such people is pretty expensive like thousands of dollars expensive.
@@phosphorusratphace3878 Since this comment, ive been searching a few options, But this will help. Thanks.
Please keep making these videos😭
ADHD makes me want to engage EVERY topic hahah, its kinda maddening, but medication makes me ride those lightinings in forked up conversations... but (!) i feel what we loose in micro we gain in macro so those are some really great ABSTRACTIONS and maybe the world needs people to think about thinking, and talk about talking some more since we gave up on communication and traded it for joint sessions of speechs
hrm, now I wonder if my emails have been missing a lot. Probably I should be using them only to arrange and summarize a conversation.
Have you read about active reading? I've been trying to incorporate such practices in my reading. It might not translate well to correspondence but I'm curious if you've given it a try.
Yoo, but how do you end a conversation? I've been practicing how to initiate and maintain a fruitful conversation however I don't know how to escape it. It's the biggest hurdle because the conversation will be great but I imagine that I will sour it if I just say okay great talk I'm leaving. Any advice on how to end the conversation gracefully to the point where they won't keep talking and you'll be able to leave without being rude?
I think that in an email format we usually briefly go into the points that stand out to us and then spend more time on the summary/conclusion?
In your Video "how getting diagnosed with ADHD at 22 changed my life" at 9:16 you showed your "island of knowledge" (Health Wiki) and at 9:33 a programm (maybe its the same).
I would highly appreaciate if you´d tell me the name of the program or programs.
Thank you
hey i think the program is notion - if not i recommend it for planning anyways!
What do you think of working with a team, rather than working solo for ADHD? Is it just me, or does having accountability to complete goals and tasks work better than working solo?
Watching this while doing 3 other things🤣
yike i might have it
Charisma on Command is super sus and culty. I'd steer clear.
Dr. Gamer strikes again 🗿
Usually, when we're in a conversation and someone is bringing up multiple points at once, we ask them what thread they want to go down for now 🤔
goated
ALSO social media trains our brains to communicate worse, neurocience is catching up (and adhd is mostly affected, protect your brains me dudes)
Bro can I talk to you? I'm dealing with social anxiety and low self esteem can u help me ?
What do GDP meant on your responses?
there is an explanation near the beginning, it's the title of his grandpa's email chain.
You’re making me want to go to therapy
With the firework section, I don't see how that's helpful, since I hate being interrupted because if I don't get through my 5 seconds-lasting idea, it goes away while I'm saying something else
I probably am not properly understanding.
And I meant, if I have 2 ideas at a time, I feel like I have to get through both quickly
😟
I have a crush on you man...
I bet you are speaking too quickly for your older relatives to be able to understand you or to follow you. As they age, you will have to speak more slowly and clearly and, sorry, in a more organized fashion ! They start to be torakky intolerant of your jokes most ng around when they turn 80.
Okay, but are you cut or uncut?
Bro you do be simping 👀