Narcissist do apologize but right after they will deflect and bring up something you did wrong to get your mind off the issue that's happening in the present.
Exactly! It will never be a sincere apology. How can it be when they never admit they are wrong? If they do it's only to get you back in their good graces. Don't be fooled!!!!
When he finally said sorry on the phone I asked him: for what? He repeated to me: for what? I said yes for what? He replied: for the things you say I did wrong. He cheated. How is that an apology. 😂🥴
NOPE NADA 🙅♀️ never....that Dark Traid Narc, I married to for 32 years, said I'm sorry if you said I made your life miserable 🤣🤦♀️🤔😆this 💩 is real funny after I'm able to really process the manipulation deception useless baseless lies, those not my condoms, they Andrew, don't know how they got there? At some point I had to look at me and once I did that, I told Narc " NO MORE" 11.2022🙏💯I'm so much happier. 🙏💞Choose you ⚰️Never go back to Narc/Toxic ⚰️Do not communicate with Narc/Toxic ⚰️Think about ALL the BS with Narc/Toxic Life with a Narc/Toxic is the DEATH OF YOU⚱️
Yeah. Leaving a traumabond just doesn't work like this. And they are well aware. I reported my Ex who is a member of a Feminist Organisation for 22 years to my former comrades. I knew of other women he tried to abuse, I was there in hell for two years and he himself told me about a woman who regretted spending money and having Sex with him, about seven years ago, I asked her to witness. I explained the people I talked to why the apology he gave the woman wasn't meant honestly. He told me she wanted it this way and he did it to me, as well. When asking him to apologise he told me: "YOU left me,why should I?". It's not just "relationship issues or a two sided-toxic relationship. It's a pattern based on his covert narcissism
The first trick is: I am sorry that you feel that way, which is actually gaslighting. Then it is: I am sorry for everything, which means nothing. I think genuine apology requires empathy, which they do not have and so cannot feel the pain they cause. It is like someone making up a story without details since they cannot experience that details.
@@ghostrecon3834 Lee is actually making an effort to do the inner work on himself, and has been for years. That doesn't seem typical of many narcissists, so the way Lee interacts with his wife is likely very different from the way a typical narcissist would apologize or interact. The OP is likely talking about narcissists who are not self-aware in the same way, aren't going to therapy, and aren't doing the inner work. That being said, Lee has admitted more than once that he's still healing and working on himself, and that he's not perfect. He is literally the one who said this in the video, so he likely has given false apologies at some point. He does say he's giving insight from personal experience, so...🤷🏾♀️
They get you with that gaslighting. It's "I'm sorry I made you feel that way" not "I'm sorry you feel that way". The words. Pay attention to the words. And follow up with "What can I do better or to help?"
My narc apologized for everything without admitting to what he did to keep me around to do again to apologize again. Took me 5 years of being a good partner/wife with a toxic spouse to realize it was manipulation for me being a naive forgiving nurturing person with no boundaries.
Another aspect of this is because the narc is transactional in all their relationships they believe that the trade off for them wronging you is made up for by whatever they bring to the table such as money, sex, status, etcetera.
My husband apologizes for things that don't matter that don't' even bother me. But he never apologizes when I am genuinely upset. He just acts like he did nothing wrong until I "get over it."
My boyfriend copy and pasted an apology from the internet word for word, thats how much he cannoy bring himself to apologizing. And yet his behaviour got worse
@@poppykhanyile6222 Shows how heartfelt it "wasn't." The longer I stayed, the worse he got. But I made my escape on March 12th while he was on a camping trip. So I don't have to deal with that anymore. And as hard as it has been, I feel at peace. And I can get well now!! Take care of yourself. Do what is right for you.
Yeahhh. Not my intention or i never intended to hurt you but my actions did so amyway....🤦♀️ mine cheated and he NEVER not onced used this word when we talked about it or he "apologized"
Hello! I know I am replying to an old comment, but I just came across this video and have been contacted by my ex that was a narcissist after 9 months “to apologize for the hurt they caused.” I have been a mess since I made him go because I couldn’t take it anymore. I don’t know what to do. If anyone sees this, please extend any guidance you can. Please and thank you so much. ❤
@@Cait928 it's a empty apology they are probably reaching out because their last supply has seen who they really are or to see if your still willing to tolerate their disrespectful behaviour. Don't reply to them. They have not changed in 9 months its way too soon.
@@emmajackson5139 thank you… truly. I have battled with my mental health horribly secondary to my underlying problems that he played on, so I FEEL CRAZY half of the time. I’m still so hurt. No matter what he says it isn’t going to fix it. I’ve mourned the life I dreamed of having and that I built around him for 9 months and I’m still not okay. Him reaching out, out of the blue, has screwed with my mind already. I don’t have any to talk to about it so I really appreciate it. He said he wants to apologize for the “hurt… because it’s been on his chest and mind.” Is it cruel that I’m fine with him carrying it? He SHOULD! My forgiveness seems to be what he’s seeking so HE feels better. It’s not for me… AT ALL. Right?
They will never be sorry, they think you are okay because you are still there till you leave then they try accusing you of things you haven't done to look good, narcissism is mental health problem is a psychological issue don't waste your time with them
My narc would apologize by buying me coffee or letting me spend my own money to buy myself food. Keyword: My money... That I never enjoyed unless he wronged me and I found out.
Mine always said: "I didn't have any bad intentions!!" As if this would excuse his behaviour and actions. He always was super defensive and could never apologize properly when he did something wrong
When Mine do the worst things to me, he would bought me gifts but never says sorry. My heart aches for apologize and acknowledging for the wrong doing not for gifts to manipulate.
The apology I got was, "I'm sorry you feel that way." that means that my feelings were just dismissed and not real, that my perception of the situation was skewed. This was in response to me calling them out on a very real behavior.
My ex narc always always said I'm sorry. I would say for what? He'd say idk. He always said I love u outta the blue. I finally told him he says it so much it loses meaning. He didn't stop tho. I think he just said it to say it.
I am finally paying attention to the actions after being so confused about the words that were being spoken. Moving towards healing! Thank you, Lee, for reminding us about the truth!!
My ex fiancé is a narcissist and let me tell you, he has done the worst of the worst to me. Mentally, emotionally, physically and so on. He has said once that he was sorry and cried real tears. Every single time I get nothing or I’ll get “you know I don’t say sorry”. It’s a sickness.
Living with him and I think he is actually losing his mind. He hides his motorcycle key as if I am going to take his bike and then blames me when he can’t find them, he walks around the house slamming doors and one door he slammed was a glass slide door, and he walked right into it, and said I closed the door on him so that he can walk into it. Of course I did nothing of any of it, and the children are so confused why he’s so angry and blaming me for everything and I continue to embrace them and let them know that they are never to blame themselves, keep your head up, keep praying, and it’s not forever he will miss us soon.
Success is when you get to the point where it doesn't matter to you whether or not the narcissist apologizes. Just recognize it for the hot air that it is and distance yourself from the evil person. And yeah they are evil.
I realized that in 5 years I never got an apology I didn’t have to beg for, or even a heartfelt apology. If I got one it was only to shut me up and stop complaining, because I was so annoying. The actions never changed. I was always the reason for any bad behavior. In the end I ended up apologizing to him, for his bad behavior.
My Nex (whom I left 3 years ago, but finally got "allowed" to move out (got a whole 9 blocks away 😑) 19 months ago. Today, after literally spending 2 long hours b*tching about my sins from 6 years ago, he all of a sudden "remembered" the time in the car where he "had to get my attention by backhanding me so hard my glasses shattered, while I was driving on the highway - because "I" was being unruly and screaming. 🙄 Now that I've accepted i may never get closure/a genuine apology, he's upset that I met someone. More so that I'm happy and well cared for. He's back at his smear campaign & actually putting it out there to both my guy & his flying monkeys that I'm "expensive", abusive & a manipulative narcissist. He absolutely cannot understand that I'm OVER the 200-250 calls and texts a day, the trackers, hijacked home security cameras. Hell - I'm impressed my "Ray of sunshine" handles the Nex's gaslighting, twisted stories & blame/shaming like a champ! Yes, still recordling the calls and uploading the texts... I think when I can finally get away for REAL I'll have to hide /sigh
He’d apologize but turn around and do same thing or get sneakier so it took longer to call him out. He also would never be detailed in anything he did wrong it was like if he didn’t put hisself in the apology then he wasn’t there. He went to one marriage counseling with me and they told him to get his head out of his ass and get in reality, he never went back.
ONE apology in 27 years. She also got pissed when I pointed out it was it was statistically impossible for me to be wrong in every single argument we had.
I like when they say you’re unforgiving when they are saying they’ve done nothing wrong but if they did, it’s your fault. Apologies are used to end the argument. Once they apologize, you’re supposed to move on without any other reconciliation or discussion.
My first husband (he was not a narcissist) gave me a most genuine apology. He told me I'm sorry for everything I put you and your daughters through, he even included an apology to my cat (yes an animal). In other words, when a person truly apologize they'll include everyone and everything connected to you. And, will not look for anything in return. We were friends after that, no we did not reconcile the marriage. One time he introduced me to some friends of his as his ex- wife, and he was proud to say that. Sincerity brings about a multitude of changes.
My h told me that he doesn’t apologize because to him it’s a sign of weakness. 22 years of marriage and two years of individual therapy later I’m preparing to leave. He hasn’t changed but I have. Healing is a beautiful thing. Thanks Mr Lee.
My ex apologized but very vaguely… he would never actually say sorry for x, y..z or take accountability. He would say I’m sorry you feel that way, or I was upset because you made me do x, y, or z… I got tiered of the toxic stuff quickly, and broke things off with him early on. You can actually spot a narcissistic person easily when they never take accountability… even on the smallest of issues.
A male friend of mine, when overdrinking and causing a scene at my house during a party, later on said, upon my prompting, “Okayyy, (in a slightly whiny tone) I’m sorry.” By the way, he had to spend the night. He tried to leave, but I guilted him back into the house, hid his bike, and hid his tennis shoes in my sisters room, where there was no way in h*ll he was going! She has borderline personality disorder, and can get very cranky and overreact when she feels an “invasion”!
Not at all, right? At least not without being asked. I had to say "you know, that's an appropriate situation to apologize to someone." If I say that three or more times, there might be "I'm sorry YOU....."
Man....when we walked out of those court doors when the divorce was final, he said and I quote, "For what its worth, I'm truly sorry, I know you trusted me I know🙄I didn't expect any of this but I hope we can get past this and sit down and talk and laugh about this" Unquote.
The mind F is when you're still shell shocked by their words and/or actions when they say they're sorry just to take the heat off themselves. If you don't immediately respond exactly how they expect, they will demand forgiveness. I've had this happen with family members. Examples of separate incidences with covert narc Mom and her mini-me golden child covert narc daughter; Mom interjected with 'forgive me!' when I tried to discuss the details of a childhood traumatic event with her from which she failed to protect me (one incident of many). Sister screamed 'you're not forgiving me!' as I stood still stunned by her behavior and words directed at me. Speaks to the need for control of everything external to fit their inner world of fantasy that they are perfect beings.
When I listen to how they think, I understand he really is the 'N' word. I hate to even admit how I just looked the other way. I want to stay away, I know I can't be with him, which makes me even more aware he is one. I know you have talked about loving. But how can that be love if he is one. He won't change. It kills me. I'm trying to keep away, and every time I think I can, it hits me like a tidal wave. He was all those things you talked about, still I miss the good things. I know even now, just feeling that way, it's wrong. Never felt like this with anyone, ever.
When he said (We both need each other. You do this , you that. Excuse me while I laugh..😃 😀 😄 😁 🤣 😂 😃 😀.. In his face ..Me-I'm sorry you feel that way, it's not working for me.. Take care.....
I just sent the link of this video to other women coping with narcissists. It's just that Lee!!! Sorry for everything.....What does that mean? This is completely part of toxic behavior. No change at all, just words and much of gaslighting. Nothin genuine. You keep me standing and moving every day Lee. Thanks a lot!
@Mental Healness sad part is I'm very aware of what's happening but then watching these videos the calling hovering I do that hell call me hang up when I answer then I'll call back blocked cause I'm still on punishment n he won't pick up like just hurts
He said I'm sorry for the things I did to you, and I'm sorry for the things you did to me." I was like, what? It didn't make any sense to me and repeats the same thing over and over.
SORRY is all that you can't say ....years gone by and still words don't come easily like sorry like sorry . The day you walk away from the Narcissist is the day you start healing . RIGHT .
He only said albeit rarely “I’m sorry you feel that way” I can only work part time because of my chronic pain probably due to all the stress he caused me. But I rarely text him don’t talk to him and kicked him out a long time ago for the neglect inconsideration and disrespect and he does not care. I agree consistent changed behavior is the only acceptable apology!!! I will never live with him again!!! Hopefully I can divorce him soon!!!
My Dad, an undiagnosed narcissist, did change. He still struggles. To date, he has never ever apologized for everything that our family was subjected to. I forgave him without the expressed "Sorry". I am just grateful that he has showed it with his actions.
I made the choice to get sober. This woman was liked by no one. Now I’m living in a sober house. She’s here. She will not leave me alone. I am constantly being harassed by her. I am literally a prisoner in my own room. I’ve asked her to stop talking to me, to leave me alone. I have now started recording her. I have a right to work my program in peace. It ain’t happening. She will never apologize. I agree with everything you have said. 60 days sober. The last 30, has been a challenge to say the least.
My narcissistic ex used to say, "I never apologize" and he rarely did. Once our relationship was over he did apologize by saying, "I'm sorry" and I asked, "For what exactly?" Then went on to give examples of everything he did to me, abuse included. Idc about the words but the actions that follow.
I’m 43 years in and I never knew what a Narcissist was. A few months ago and your video popped up. I prayed and ask God to help me understand. And my eyes are completely opened now. Thanks to people like you. It’s helped my mental health so very much
My Ex: Oct22' Good evening ______. I hope all is well with you! I'm not going to beat around the bush with this, I love & miss you so much! You are the only woman that I've ever wanted! If possible, I would absolutely love for us to try again! Once last go and I promise I will give and show you the love that I have for you! If I hear nothing from you, I understand & deeply apologize for bothering you. I truly hope to hear back from you! Me: 💖Narc-Free since Sept 2021🧘🏿♀️
🎯👏 My husband sure did that too blamed me for his affair because I wasn't giving him enough sex and I actually took responsibility for that because of the trauma bond
I have just recently discovered you and really enjoy listening to you. You really break it down in no nonsense terms. I am not too far from you in Martinsville. My husband is the narcissist.
Yea you are spot on with what a true apology is. Nailed it. My NPD guy last Fall said to me, I am sorry for everything from here on out in the future. Ain't that something? He is apologizing now for anything he will do in the future that is egregious or hurtful. He wanted me to accept that?! He must think Im totally stupid! He doesn't care one iota for any hurt he does whatsoever. But he wont admit the ridiculousness of that statement.
My husband says sorry, but never changes his behavior. Thanks for the comparison of ACTIONS & WORDS. I am going to schedule an appointment with a divorce attorney. It can't keep living this way. If you love them let them go. I need to let him find his own way.
He is on point. I'm sorry is changing!!!!!! Thank you for sharing your experience. I left my narcissistic husband and all your teachings were on point with what/why he did. Now I understand and can mentally move on! Thank God!
I had a narcissistic employee when she did wrong got the apology but there was always an excuse for their behavior. I continued to accept it for almost 4 years. She got worse and worse. I wrote her up and she tried to get her coworkers written up and myself. It didn’t work. I ended up having to terminate her employment because she became too dangerous at work.
He would just say ''sorry for my part.'' I asked one time ''what does that even mean?'' What was "your" part? The answer I got: ''I don't know what else to say here.'' then ghosted for two whole weeks.
I got love bombed, asked out, for months. I went out with him, then after a very short time he discarded me, but he wanted to move in, gave me so many lies, but once he got the chance he just wanted to be friends. He didn't get the things he wanted, he was constantly asking me for gifts. Then later he wanted to move in my building, he did the discard, the smear campaign. Plus been trying to make jealous. I went no contact for my own mental health, and kept him out of my life. I've seen him around and he got so mad one day, and he stomped away like a little child having a tantrum. It was so bizarre, I felt like I was being punked by some twisted show. I'm doing better.
The one I was with just said "I apologize." when I asked him what he is apologizing for he said we will talk about it later. Needless to say, later never came because I never called him again. When we hung up, I blocked his cell and work number. I know what he was "apologizing" for. I also thanked him for no longer thinking online dating apps would be a good idea to find anyone. Seems like that's where covert narcs dwell and I don't have the energy anymore. The kicker though is he is my cousin's best friend for 40-something years. (Since 5th grade, they are both 48 yr old men) My whole family knew him before I did. So I was left confused AF.
I had never known a person that had trouble with saying that they were sorry, so I would be perplexed,yet I would say " You need to say that you are sorry, and they would look perplexed."
I just noticed that and that was the reason for breaking up like what are you sorry for? And he says well you know for that stupid shit you are mad for or says something unimportant to the convo
I told him to leave my home x 10 years. I even tried to pay him to leave. Lbvvs. It’s like I was forced to be with him. I don’t understand why he never left. He cheated a million and one times. Sad but true
Actually when i think about it there were times where he would appologize randomly like i would say "you are attacking me because i am sad me being sad i have every right to be sad" and then he would walk away and come back and say "you are right i am sorry i don't know what my problem is" Or one time we were sitting on a beach and he started crying and said he was sorry for cheating on me even though we didn't talk about it So i think those few timed were genuine
Leaving a Narcissist who blames you for their bad behavior has been the best decision I have ever made!!!
🙏🏽
Yass congratulations 🎉🎈🎊🍾 keep up the good work 😊
Perfectly said
How about them divorcing you for the same reason!!! Their bad behavior! Finally I’m over the shock at least.
Narcissist do apologize but right after they will deflect and bring up something you did wrong to get your mind off the issue that's happening in the present.
True. Then they do it again
Some
Exactly! I’m sorry BUT you…..😵💫🤣🤬
Exactly! It will never be a sincere apology. How can it be when they never admit they are wrong? If they do it's only to get you back in their good graces. Don't be fooled!!!!
Yes! 💯
When he finally said sorry on the phone I asked him: for what? He repeated to me: for what? I said yes for what? He replied: for the things you say I did wrong. He cheated. How is that an apology. 😂🥴
Ahh yes, the Nopology, those are great aren’t they!
They are delusional I wouldn’t have even wasted my time talking to them give them the same energy they been giving us smh 🤦🏿♀️ 😂
@@charlottecomfort2446 truly 😂
NOPE NADA 🙅♀️ never....that Dark Traid Narc, I married to for 32 years, said I'm sorry if you said I made your life miserable 🤣🤦♀️🤔😆this 💩 is real funny after I'm able to really process the manipulation deception useless baseless lies, those not my condoms, they Andrew, don't know how they got there? At some point I had to look at me and once I did that, I told Narc " NO MORE" 11.2022🙏💯I'm so much happier.
🙏💞Choose you
⚰️Never go back to Narc/Toxic
⚰️Do not communicate with Narc/Toxic
⚰️Think about ALL the BS with Narc/Toxic
Life with a Narc/Toxic is the DEATH OF YOU⚱️
Yeah. Leaving a traumabond just doesn't work like this. And they are well aware.
I reported my Ex who is a member of a Feminist Organisation for 22 years to my former comrades. I knew of other women he tried to abuse, I was there in hell for two years and he himself told me about a woman who regretted spending money and having Sex with him, about seven years ago, I asked her to witness. I explained the people I talked to why the apology he gave the woman wasn't meant honestly. He told me she wanted it this way and he did it to me, as well. When asking him to apologise he told me: "YOU left me,why should I?". It's not just "relationship issues or a two sided-toxic relationship. It's a pattern based on his covert narcissism
They don't Apologize they shift the blame right back onto you won't say sorry at all
I agree with you
That's what I was thinking the best they'll do is go silent when they know they've screwed up
Apologize then right back to crazy behaviors
They blame you for making them angry in the first place. I'm sorry I hit you but you pissed me off.
😵💫😵💫
BINGO!
I hit you because “you take me out of character”
@@Ashley-vq9xe Profound.
There is always a but somewhere
“I’m sorry for everything” #classicnarcresponse
💯
The first trick is: I am sorry that you feel that way, which is actually gaslighting. Then it is: I am sorry for everything, which means nothing. I think genuine apology requires empathy, which they do not have and so cannot feel the pain they cause. It is like someone making up a story without details since they cannot experience that details.
Exactly I went through this for years
So are you saying whenever Lee apologizes to his wife for anything that it’s a fake apology?
@@ghostrecon3834 Lee is actually making an effort to do the inner work on himself, and has been for years. That doesn't seem typical of many narcissists, so the way Lee interacts with his wife is likely very different from the way a typical narcissist would apologize or interact. The OP is likely talking about narcissists who are not self-aware in the same way, aren't going to therapy, and aren't doing the inner work.
That being said, Lee has admitted more than once that he's still healing and working on himself, and that he's not perfect. He is literally the one who said this in the video, so he likely has given false apologies at some point. He does say he's giving insight from personal experience, so...🤷🏾♀️
They get you with that gaslighting. It's "I'm sorry I made you feel that way" not "I'm sorry you feel that way". The words. Pay attention to the words. And follow up with "What can I do better or to help?"
I’m sorry you’re hurting. (Even though I caused it) My favorite🥴
I had a boyfriend that said “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “we did our apologies and now we make up” Neither were apologies
My mum's fauxpology to me was "I've said I'm sorry so many times I've lost count - how many more times do I have to say it till you're happy?"
Heard that a few times. Another way to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
@@teresacotton7923 Until you stop doing it.
“Nail me on a cross”
My narc apologized for everything without admitting to what he did to keep me around to do again to apologize again. Took me 5 years of being a good partner/wife with a toxic spouse to realize it was manipulation for me being a naive forgiving nurturing person with no boundaries.
Another aspect of this is because the narc is transactional in all their relationships they believe that the trade off for them wronging you is made up for by whatever they bring to the table such as money, sex, status, etcetera.
Very true!
🎯🎯🎯
Interesting. True.
Narcissist apologize when they are getting removed.
My husband apologizes for things that don't matter that don't' even bother me.
But he never apologizes when I am genuinely upset. He just acts like he did nothing wrong until I "get over it."
Yes, had that happen too.
OH .I EXPERIENCE THIS ALL THE TIME WITH MY PARTNER
My boyfriend copy and pasted an apology from the internet word for word, thats how much he cannoy bring himself to apologizing. And yet his behaviour got worse
@@poppykhanyile6222
Shows how heartfelt it "wasn't."
The longer I stayed, the worse he got.
But I made my escape on March 12th while he was on a camping trip. So I don't have to deal with that anymore. And as hard as it has been, I feel at peace. And I can get well now!!
Take care of yourself. Do what is right for you.
interesting, when someone says sorry like this usually means he is scared of you. he walks on eggshells.
After a year and a half I got "sorry for the hurt" and "I'm sorry you feel that way because it wasn't my intention"
Oh my yes! The intention…. Ugh😵💫
Yeahhh. Not my intention or i never intended to hurt you but my actions did so amyway....🤦♀️ mine cheated and he NEVER not onced used this word when we talked about it or he "apologized"
Hello! I know I am replying to an old comment, but I just came across this video and have been contacted by my ex that was a narcissist after 9 months “to apologize for the hurt they caused.” I have been a mess since I made him go because I couldn’t take it anymore. I don’t know what to do. If anyone sees this, please extend any guidance you can. Please and thank you so much. ❤
@@Cait928 it's a empty apology they are probably reaching out because their last supply has seen who they really are or to see if your still willing to tolerate their disrespectful behaviour.
Don't reply to them. They have not changed in 9 months its way too soon.
@@emmajackson5139 thank you… truly. I have battled with my mental health horribly secondary to my underlying problems that he played on, so I FEEL CRAZY half of the time. I’m still so hurt. No matter what he says it isn’t going to fix it. I’ve mourned the life I dreamed of having and that I built around him for 9 months and I’m still not okay. Him reaching out, out of the blue, has screwed with my mind already. I don’t have any to talk to about it so I really appreciate it. He said he wants to apologize for the “hurt… because it’s been on his chest and mind.” Is it cruel that I’m fine with him carrying it? He SHOULD! My forgiveness seems to be what he’s seeking so HE feels better. It’s not for me… AT ALL. Right?
They will never be sorry, they think you are okay because you are still there till you leave then they try accusing you of things you haven't done to look good, narcissism is mental health problem is a psychological issue don't waste your time with them
I’ve seen “I’m sorry for whatever what YOU THINK I did wrong” …… 🙄🤦🏽♀️
My narc would apologize by buying me coffee or letting me spend my own money to buy myself food. Keyword: My money... That I never enjoyed unless he wronged me and I found out.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 omg my Narc same same. But im glad I only spent 1 year with him.
"I'm sorry for how you feel."
💯
Mine always said: "I didn't have any bad intentions!!" As if this would excuse his behaviour and actions. He always was super defensive and could never apologize properly when he did something wrong
My final apology was "if I ever hurt you, I'm so sorry."
I just looked at him and Shock my head. #fakeapology
😓😓
They never apologize never.
When Mine do the worst things to me, he would bought me gifts but never says sorry. My heart aches for apologize and acknowledging for the wrong doing not for gifts to manipulate.
My SIL apologized a couple of times over different things. "I don't know why you're angry with me" (not true) "but I'm sorry you feel that way".
😞😞
Mine use to say " I am sorry that you felt hurt".
😬
Yep got that one
The apology I got was, "I'm sorry you feel that way." that means that my feelings were just dismissed and not real, that my perception of the situation was skewed. This was in response to me calling them out on a very real behavior.
My ex narc always always said I'm sorry. I would say for what? He'd say idk.
He always said I love u outta the blue.
I finally told him he says it so much it loses meaning. He didn't stop tho.
I think he just said it to say it.
Everything you say is so true. I’m married to one and I see this stuff first hand.
stay strong
Why are you still married to it?
@@Focus293 that part
I haven't heard my mom apologize to anyone in 58 years.
🥺
Me too 😠
Sadly, you never will.
I am finally paying attention to the actions after being so confused about the words that were being spoken. Moving towards healing! Thank you, Lee, for reminding us about the truth!!
My ex fiancé is a narcissist and let me tell you, he has done the worst of the worst to me. Mentally, emotionally, physically and so on. He has said once that he was sorry and cried real tears. Every single time I get nothing or I’ll get “you know I don’t say sorry”. It’s a sickness.
Living with him and I think he is actually losing his mind. He hides his motorcycle key as if I am going to take his bike and then blames me when he can’t find them, he walks around the house slamming doors and one door he slammed was a glass slide door, and he walked right into it, and said I closed the door on him so that he can walk into it. Of course I did nothing of any of it, and the children are so confused why he’s so angry and blaming me for everything and I continue to embrace them and let them know that they are never to blame themselves, keep your head up, keep praying, and it’s not forever he will miss us soon.
It's even worse when they do apologize and still do the same thing that they apologize for,,,
Success is when you get to the point where it doesn't matter to you whether or not the narcissist apologizes. Just recognize it for the hot air that it is and distance yourself from the evil person. And yeah they are evil.
I continued staying in a toxic marriage because I wasn't informed...thanks for empowering me!!! Narcissists are a no go zone!
Her way of an apology is,I don't want to talk about it. It's in the past we are moving forward
🙃🙃😵💫😵💫
My ex fiancé told me to give him a list so he would know what to apologize for! 😠😤Seriously?!?
Wow
Same here
I realized that in 5 years I never got an apology I didn’t have to beg for, or even a heartfelt apology. If I got one it was only to shut me up and stop complaining, because I was so annoying. The actions never changed. I was always the reason for any bad behavior. In the end I ended up apologizing to him, for his bad behavior.
My Nex (whom I left 3 years ago, but finally got "allowed" to move out (got a whole 9 blocks away 😑) 19 months ago. Today, after literally spending 2 long hours b*tching about my sins from 6 years ago, he all of a sudden "remembered" the time in the car where he "had to get my attention by backhanding me so hard my glasses shattered, while I was driving on the highway - because "I" was being unruly and screaming. 🙄 Now that I've accepted i may never get closure/a genuine apology, he's upset that I met someone. More so that I'm happy and well cared for. He's back at his smear campaign & actually putting it out there to both my guy & his flying monkeys that I'm "expensive", abusive & a manipulative narcissist. He absolutely cannot understand that I'm OVER the 200-250 calls and texts a day, the trackers, hijacked home security cameras. Hell - I'm impressed my "Ray of sunshine" handles the Nex's gaslighting, twisted stories & blame/shaming like a champ! Yes, still recordling the calls and uploading the texts... I think when I can finally get away for REAL I'll have to hide /sigh
He’d apologize but turn around and do same thing or get sneakier so it took longer to call him out. He also would never be detailed in anything he did wrong it was like if he didn’t put hisself in the apology then he wasn’t there. He went to one marriage counseling with me and they told him to get his head out of his ass and get in reality, he never went back.
ONE apology in 27 years. She also got pissed when I pointed out it was it was statistically impossible for me to be wrong in every single argument we had.
Btw: …….. my wife has Never ., not even ONCE … had said. “ I’m sorry “. For 22 years !!!
I like when they say you’re unforgiving when they are saying they’ve done nothing wrong but if they did, it’s your fault. Apologies are used to end the argument. Once they apologize, you’re supposed to move on without any other reconciliation or discussion.
My first husband (he was not a narcissist) gave me a most genuine apology. He told me I'm sorry for everything I put you and your daughters through, he even included an apology to my cat (yes an animal). In other words, when a person truly apologize they'll include everyone and everything connected to you. And, will not look for anything in return. We were friends after that, no we did not reconcile the marriage. One time he introduced me to some friends of his as his ex- wife, and he was proud to say that. Sincerity brings about a multitude of changes.
Sorry for your cat? Doesn't sound legit..
or something like Im sorry if I hurt you or I did something to you.
My h told me that he doesn’t apologize because to him it’s a sign of weakness. 22 years of marriage and two years of individual therapy later I’m preparing to leave. He hasn’t changed but I have. Healing is a beautiful thing. Thanks Mr Lee.
My ex apologized but very vaguely… he would never actually say sorry for x, y..z or take accountability.
He would say I’m sorry you feel that way, or I was upset because you made me do x, y, or z… I got tiered of the toxic stuff quickly, and broke things off with him early on. You can actually spot a narcissistic person easily when they never take accountability… even on the smallest of issues.
A male friend of mine, when overdrinking and causing a scene at my house during a party, later on said, upon my prompting, “Okayyy, (in a slightly whiny tone) I’m sorry.”
By the way, he had to spend the night. He tried to leave, but I guilted him back into the house, hid his bike, and hid his tennis shoes in my sisters room, where there was no way in h*ll he was going! She has borderline personality disorder, and can get very cranky and overreact when she feels an “invasion”!
Not at all, right? At least not without being asked. I had to say "you know, that's an appropriate situation to apologize to someone." If I say that three or more times, there might be "I'm sorry YOU....."
Man....when we walked out of those court doors when the divorce was final, he said and I quote, "For what its worth, I'm truly sorry, I know you trusted me I know🙄I didn't expect any of this but I hope we can get past this and sit down and talk and laugh about this" Unquote.
Only a sorry person would just say, "I'm sorry."
The mind F is when you're still shell shocked by their words and/or actions when they say they're sorry just to take the heat off themselves. If you don't immediately respond exactly how they expect, they will demand forgiveness.
I've had this happen with family members.
Examples of separate incidences with covert narc Mom and her mini-me golden child covert narc daughter;
Mom interjected with 'forgive me!' when I tried to discuss the details of a childhood traumatic event with her from which she failed to protect me (one incident of many).
Sister screamed 'you're not forgiving me!' as I stood still stunned by her behavior and words directed at me.
Speaks to the need for control of everything external to fit their inner world of fantasy that they are perfect beings.
When I listen to how they think, I understand he really is the 'N' word. I hate to even admit how I just looked the other way.
I want to stay away, I know I can't be with him, which makes me even more aware he is one.
I know you have talked about loving. But how can that be love if he is one.
He won't change. It kills me. I'm trying to keep away, and every time I think I can, it hits me like a tidal wave. He was all those things you talked about, still I miss the good things. I know even now, just feeling that way, it's wrong. Never felt like this with anyone, ever.
When he said
(We both need each other. You do this , you that.
Excuse me while I laugh..😃 😀 😄 😁 🤣 😂 😃 😀..
In his face ..Me-I'm sorry you feel that way, it's not working for me..
Take care.....
Also, thank you was another thing I noticed they wouldn't say
😩
I accepted his appologies but did not go back. I will never go back and he now has that revelation
Like "The Frog in the Pot".
My Ex Narc 😂😂😂😂 “I’m sorry for everything “
Lee when I ask him for what it’s so quiet you can hear a “FISH FART 🐠 💨”😅🤣🤣🤣🤣 listen to Lee ….Leave 😂😂😂😂
😂
He said I owe you an apology after I left. I am still waiting lol
I just sent the link of this video to other women coping with narcissists. It's just that Lee!!! Sorry for everything.....What does that mean? This is completely part of toxic behavior. No change at all, just words and much of gaslighting. Nothin genuine. You keep me standing and moving every day Lee. Thanks a lot!
When I apologize he makes me specifically say for what but he never does
of course
@Mental Healness sad part is I'm very aware of what's happening but then watching these videos the calling hovering I do that hell call me hang up when I answer then I'll call back blocked cause I'm still on punishment n he won't pick up like just hurts
He said I'm sorry for the things I did to you, and I'm sorry for the things you did to me." I was like, what? It didn't make any sense to me and repeats the same thing over and over.
That's when they say you're not perfect.🤦🏾♀️
SORRY is all that you can't say ....years gone by and still words don't come easily like sorry like sorry . The day you walk away from the Narcissist is the day you start healing . RIGHT .
If someone says I'm sorry , then says but everything before that , Nul & VOID .
Only apologies I've ever gotten are "I'm sorry you feel that way"
That's right I am beautiful people.
🙏🏽🙌🏾
Thank you Lee for your message. Your 100% accurate as always. ❤❤❤❤😊
You’re welcome
I want to thank you for all of your videos because they are very helpful!! Don't listen to the negative comments. Bless you for what you do!!!💯😎🤘
He only said albeit rarely “I’m sorry you feel that way” I can only work part time because of my chronic pain probably due to all the stress he caused me. But I rarely text him don’t talk to him and kicked him out a long time ago for the neglect inconsideration and disrespect and he does not care. I agree consistent changed behavior is the only acceptable apology!!! I will never live with him again!!! Hopefully I can divorce him soon!!!
" I am sorry for everything YOU THINK I did for you " 😅
My Dad, an undiagnosed narcissist, did change. He still struggles. To date, he has never ever apologized for everything that our family was subjected to. I forgave him without the expressed "Sorry". I am just grateful that he has showed it with his actions.
I made the choice to get sober. This woman was liked by no one. Now I’m living in a sober house. She’s here. She will not leave me alone. I am constantly being harassed by her. I am literally a prisoner in my own room. I’ve asked her to stop talking to me, to leave me alone. I have now started recording her. I have a right to work my program in peace. It ain’t happening. She will never apologize. I agree with everything you have said. 60 days sober. The last 30, has been a challenge to say the least.
She was liked by no one in detox, just to be clear. Total passive aggressive behavior.
🙏🏽🙏🏽
My narcissistic ex used to say, "I never apologize" and he rarely did. Once our relationship was over he did apologize by saying, "I'm sorry" and I asked, "For what exactly?" Then went on to give examples of everything he did to me, abuse included. Idc about the words but the actions that follow.
They make you the problem youll get i am sorry you feel that way .
No apology from a narcissist is genuine. They may say the words “I’m sorry”, but they don’t mean it, or believe they’ve done anything wrong.
I’m 43 years in and I never knew what a Narcissist was. A few months ago and your video popped up. I prayed and ask God to help me understand. And my eyes are completely opened now. Thanks to people like you. It’s helped my mental health so very much
I know a narcissist, I live with one, for now. The way that she apologizes is by hollering, I"M SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!😝
My Ex: Oct22'
Good evening ______. I hope all is well with you! I'm not going to beat around the bush with this, I love & miss you so much! You are the only woman that I've ever wanted! If possible, I would absolutely love for us to try again! Once last go and I promise I will give and show you the love that I have for you! If I hear nothing from you, I understand & deeply apologize for bothering you. I truly hope to hear back from you!
Me:
💖Narc-Free since Sept 2021🧘🏿♀️
I got laughed at for being in college.
They don’t remember this incident 😑
🙃
🎯👏 My husband sure did that too blamed me for his affair because I wasn't giving him enough sex and I actually took responsibility for that because of the trauma bond
Mine said the same thing.
I have just recently discovered you and really enjoy listening to you. You really break it down in no nonsense terms. I am not too far from you in Martinsville. My husband is the narcissist.
Yea you are spot on with what a true apology is. Nailed it. My NPD guy last Fall said to me, I am sorry for everything from here on out in the future. Ain't that something? He is apologizing now for anything he will do in the future that is egregious or hurtful. He wanted me to accept that?! He must think Im totally stupid! He doesn't care one iota for any hurt he does whatsoever. But he wont admit the ridiculousness of that statement.
My ex narcissist said he never apologizes...ever...for anything🙈🙉🙊.
My husband says sorry, but never changes his behavior. Thanks for the comparison of ACTIONS & WORDS. I am going to schedule an appointment with a divorce attorney. It can't keep living this way. If you love them let them go. I need to let him find his own way.
when I got an apology it felt condescending and I was the blame for his action
😟
He is on point. I'm sorry is changing!!!!!! Thank you for sharing your experience. I left my narcissistic husband and all your teachings were on point with what/why he did. Now I understand and can mentally move on! Thank God!
I had a narcissistic employee when she did wrong got the apology but there was always an excuse for their behavior. I continued to accept it for almost 4 years. She got worse and worse. I wrote her up and she tried to get her coworkers written up and myself. It didn’t work. I ended up having to terminate her employment because she became too dangerous at work.
Oh yea they do fake apologize if they need you lol. But if you are nothing to them, they won't apologize.
He said “ you did nothing wrong this is my fault” for cheating and getting someone pregnant but he never really said I’m sorry
He would just say ''sorry for my part.'' I asked one time ''what does that even mean?'' What was "your" part? The answer I got: ''I don't know what else to say here.'' then ghosted for two whole weeks.
A major take away; listen to and between words, and watch behavior.
Narcs=false advertisment
Mine said I’m sorry I didn’t change fast enough for you and I’m sorry we weren’t right for a long time …
I got love bombed, asked out, for months. I went out with him, then after a very short time he discarded me, but he wanted to move in, gave me so many lies, but once he got the chance he just wanted to be friends. He didn't get the things he wanted, he was constantly asking me for gifts. Then later he wanted to move in my building, he did the discard, the smear campaign. Plus been trying to make jealous. I went no contact for my own mental health, and kept him out of my life. I've seen him around and he got so mad one day, and he stomped away like a little child having a tantrum. It was so bizarre, I felt like I was being punked by some twisted show. I'm doing better.
The one I was with just said "I apologize." when I asked him what he is apologizing for he said we will talk about it later. Needless to say, later never came because I never called him again. When we hung up, I blocked his cell and work number. I know what he was "apologizing" for. I also thanked him for no longer thinking online dating apps would be a good idea to find anyone. Seems like that's where covert narcs dwell and I don't have the energy anymore. The kicker though is he is my cousin's best friend for 40-something years. (Since 5th grade, they are both 48 yr old men) My whole family knew him before I did. So I was left confused AF.
My “friend” literally said my lawyer apologizes, for his bad behavior
😵💫😵💫
I had never known a person that had trouble with saying that they were sorry, so I would be perplexed,yet I would say " You need to say that you are sorry, and they would look perplexed."
Lee you are 100 percent right.... AS ALWAYS!!!! Thank you. I appreciate you with my whole heart. THANK YOU!!!!!
I absolutely love this cat. Coolest cat on TH-cam !! U rule bruh. !!
I just noticed that and that was the reason for breaking up like what are you sorry for? And he says well you know for that stupid shit you are mad for or says something unimportant to the convo
I didn't believe in NPD recovery. I admire and question your post
posts at the same time. Best wishes always 💚
I told him to leave my home x 10 years. I even tried to pay him to leave. Lbvvs. It’s like I was forced to be with him. I don’t understand why he never left. He cheated a million and one times. Sad but true
Actually when i think about it there were times where he would appologize randomly like i would say "you are attacking me because i am sad me being sad i have every right to be sad" and then he would walk away and come back and say "you are right i am sorry i don't know what my problem is"
Or one time we were sitting on a beach and he started crying and said he was sorry for cheating on me even though we didn't talk about it
So i think those few timed were genuine