I agree so much and I was young too. I thought it was normal because people made it normal, but it was not normal and I did not feel comfortable with it.
@@lakshikayadav9577 i don’t do it but it’s still frustrating when you have to deal with peer pressure and people acting like you have something wrong with you just because you don’t like casual sex. guys don’t tend to be respectful when they realise you don’t want to hookup with them
peer pressure is real i agree and there's peer pressure not just with this but with a lot of other stuff. but I don't think we should judge people for casual hookups if both of them are down for it it's their choice and they are not wrong.
This is a natural response that people, especially women, inately have. Our culture has just become so corrupt that having the closest level of intimacy with someone you don't know is considered normal.
Thank you guys for saying this, I think a lot of people have a hard time expressing how they feel about hook up culture and you guys perfectly summed up my feelings.
i always felt the same way. im in uni right now and all my friends keep asking me why i don't do hookups but they also mention that men never treat them right so why would i want that for myself when you guys are not even having a good time with these men?? I hate hookup culture it's disgusting and i don't ever wanna get touched by a stranger no thank you
I think it comes down to the person and their views of sex/intimacy. Some people don't have these negative takeaways from hookups because they don't view sex as some sort of deep intimate connection reserved for couples. Some view sex as a more playful experience that they can have with a bunch of different people they get along with. It's unfortunate that she felt this way after her hookups - I hope that she can heal from it.
Heal from the negative feelings she got from these experiences. That doesn’t require her accepting hookup culture or seeing them as positive. She has a right to her opinions about what is good or bad for her body, mental health. As she stated, hookups made her feel bad, so I hope she can process those feelings in a healthy way and not let them haunt her. I don’t believe healing means accepting, but rather understanding and moving on with your life.
There is no such thing as not seeing sex as not intimate. sex can never be a "playful" experience for anyone no matter how much people try to convince themselves. There is nothing positive about hookup culture.
I don’t think you should feel bad about regretting them. I think a lot of people share your feeling about it. Seems to me that anyone having “meaningless” sex with someone is either lying to themselves, doesn’t know themselves yet, or is some kind of sociopath😂 It’s another common lie people are gullible enough or naive enough to buy into when they are young because it is an impulsivity thing- it’s empty. 😢
Hooking up is just an empty place so that's not how the relationship is it's u related with them and then ship is u are going to go down with them or try and find a boat to live in other words to live and die with them rather then being apart to take care of yourself
I’ve spent the majority of my life being afraid of sex because so many traditional people hated on hookup culture. I recently lost my virginity at 25. Sex really isn’t as big of a deal as I was led to believe. Hookup culture is neither good or bad. Waiting until marriage is neither good or bad. It all depends on the individual. I just wish people stopped telling others how to live their lives.
The part where she says that almost immediately after hooking she wanted to get “as far as possibly” for that person… I so get that. I actually feel like that every-single time I hookup with someone. At first I thought I was wrong and I even thought “maybe I should go to therapy for this”. I guess I feel a little bit better knowing I’m not alone in that feeling. What it is? I still don’t know.
I lost my v card to a hookup in my early 20s. You basically took the words out of my mouth, there's nothing else I can add. Only did it once, and decided that was enough A buddy of mine is also a late bloomer who had a crush on a girl, but at the same time had this other mysterious girl wanting to hookup with him, I told him not to do it as a fellow late bloomer but he gave in to his urges too. He called me a couple days later saying I was right and that it just didnt feel right lol. He gave himself a couple months to process that away and decided he really wanted to go after the girl he had a crush on. They are an item now and he's happy
you are very courageous, and intelligent and self-aware for expressing your inner feeling in such an intricate way. These traits should be enough to give you the confidence you sought after when you were engaging in casual hookups. Best of luck to you.
I been single for like a decade plus and it’s not a choice. Either I don’t have options or don’t know how to create options for myself. At this point, I’m trying to exist lol
The only incel thing I kinda agree with is that there isn't a dude alive who has the issue of "I'm always just in a relationship." Like you can straight up go years between relationships.
I am here with you! I was the black sheep amongst my peers. Tried it, hated it… I preferred long term relationships. I am a married woman in my thirties now. Honestly… everyone I saw participating in hook up culture in college seemed pretty miserable. My observation was that many girls used hook ups as a way to find boyfriends. Terrible way to go about it but it was so normalized. I call that period in my life “the dark ages.” lol.
it’s nice to hear this opinion from a woman. feel like this opinion on this subject has been shunned in the name of “fun”…good for you girl. your respect for yourself is beautiful
i felt the same way and than i realized that i was experiencing conviction from God as a form of protection from doing something so intimate with people i don’t love and who don’t love me. i remember you saying you went to catholic school and even if you don’t believe in God, prayers that people have prayed for you in that period of your life can still be protecting you to this day. they say rejection is often a form of protection, so maybe when you felt rejected by men in the past, it didn’t feel good but it was actually protecting you in the long run. love you and ur content ❤❤❤
This should be considered normal and not abnormal. Obviously not shaming anyone who does participate in hookup culture, but you’re literally inside someone who is a complete stranger. Like you cannot get any more physically close to them. Overall I think most of society will begin to realize how empty and unfulfilling hookup culture is to their spirit, in the long run.
I never understood, or took part in, hook up culture. It just sounded ridiculous to me. I’m not sharing my body with a random stranger! There just seems to be no point, no deeper meaning. Just doing it, just to do it. And that always sounded so mind-numbing and bleak to me. I’m quite comfortable being single and focusing on myself.
My demisexual ass agrees with the sentiment of how twisted and gross the hookup culture truly is. I’ve never wanted to participate in it, and I’ve been chastised for it. Called old fashioned etc. Ridiculous. Sex for me is one of the most intimate things you could possibly do with another person. To do it with a total stranger is absolutely baffling to me. To me sex is something sacred, private and very special only to be shared with that special someone. If that makes me a prude, old fashioned or weird I’ll take those titles as compliments. 😊😂
As a sex addict that has the desire to have sex 8x a day and have had multiple male partners i have to agree with you. I felt like i loved a part of all of them that's the only way i could sleep with any of them is if i cared and loved them in some way. To me it's not normal healthy safe or morally okay to just have hookup culture. Sex has meaning even to a sex addict like me
i think i'm lucky to have found out early that i hated hookup culture. i actually couldn't have sex until i was 22 because i had a case of vaginismus and it makes sex super painful. after i received PT and treatment for that, i had a fwb for several months and i had a situationship with this guy that i basically fell in love with but it fell apart bc he was so avoidant. i then went on with plans to hook up with this guy after that situationship and i was genuinely so disgusted even just giving him head. i had to get up and leave before intercourse happened. and in a weird way i'm just glad i left before anything went further. i think i shared that airbnb with him for a total of maybe 15 minutes before i got up and left. with maybe 2 of those minutes being sexual activity. i can't hook up with people. it feels disgusting from the get go.
Just wanna say Hi My Name Is John Constantine and I am here at about 880 subscribers. I just wanted to leave this here, so when your podcast blows up and you become famous I can say I was an OG fan.
“They’ve seen a side of me that a very few amount of people have seen” it bothers her and will bother anyone for that matter because you realize someone sees a side of you that’s sacred. IT IS SACRED!! God made it that way!! Sex is for people who are in a covenant, people who are becoming one, a team that is never supposed to separate. Your body is for one person, those emotions and feelings that come with that are for one person. How special is that. Nobody but you and that one person get to experience together.
i hooked up ONCE with a guy and i never felt so dirty about myself/body afterwards. Like the segg was ok, but I felt like it just didn't make sense. I felt like I wasted time and I was dirty. NEVER AGAIN
I have been in a relationship for 11 years and before that was in a 2 year so I missed the hookup culture. My question as a guy is, what happens if you bust quick or just have an off night? Meanwhile youre with someone who doesnt really care about you and have to sit in your foolishness. I can understand how a on the whim hookup can be exciting if it goes well but the chances it doesnt go well is just too much to think about.
I felt different, I qlways fell for them, like HOW??? but for healthy ppl when its a hookup its a hookup and thats it, nothing else I didnt regret it but I needed a lot of time to get over it
Guy here. Gemini. I have the same story as Emma. I think it's just the internet that makes it seem like everyone is scummy because everything is a) so magnified b) pushed directly in your face by algorithms.
Maybe it’s just me but people put way too much meaning into hookup sex which is almost inherently supposed to be meaningless. We’re both there to have a good time and get off. No one’s forcing anyone to partake. I wish it was more common and sex wasn’t so hard to come by for most guys.
Its scary how NORMAL hookup culture is. Can be super damaging- mentally and physically.
Let’s be honest, it GROSS.
rightt it’s insane how normalised it’s become
I agree so much and I was young too. I thought it was normal because people made it normal, but it was not normal and I did not feel comfortable with it.
some people are literally just looking for hookup if both of them are down it comes down to them
Most importantly spiritually!
Im really glad a woman at her level is talking about this publicly
what episode is this from? impossible to find the full ep on spotify
more people need this mindset honestly i’m so sick of hookup culture
SAME
@@conanrodrigo if you dont want it dont do it period.
@@lakshikayadav9577 i don’t do it but it’s still frustrating when you have to deal with peer pressure and people acting like you have something wrong with you just because you don’t like casual sex. guys don’t tend to be respectful when they realise you don’t want to hookup with them
peer pressure is real i agree and there's peer pressure not just with this but with a lot of other stuff. but I don't think we should judge people for casual hookups if both of them are down for it it's their choice and they are not wrong.
This is a natural response that people, especially women, inately have. Our culture has just become so corrupt that having the closest level of intimacy with someone you don't know is considered normal.
YES!!!! THIS!!!!! ^^^^
As a demisexual person I don’t legitimately even experience sexual attraction without an emotional bond.
@@roosaas omg same and it's so weird because... yall do? like good for you but i sometimes don't feel like a normal human because of it lol
Thank you guys for saying this, I think a lot of people have a hard time expressing how they feel about hook up culture and you guys perfectly summed up my feelings.
When we treat others like an object for pleasure then that’s how we start to see ourselves. It’s very dangerous and can feel super isolating
I could never do hookups, always so awkward
i always felt the same way. im in uni right now and all my friends keep asking me why i don't do hookups but they also mention that men never treat them right so why would i want that for myself when you guys are not even having a good time with these men?? I hate hookup culture it's disgusting and i don't ever wanna get touched by a stranger no thank you
It's all spiritual
yes!!!!
Explain
Actually a nothing statement
I think it comes down to the person and their views of sex/intimacy. Some people don't have these negative takeaways from hookups because they don't view sex as some sort of deep intimate connection reserved for couples.
Some view sex as a more playful experience that they can have with a bunch of different people they get along with. It's unfortunate that she felt this way after her hookups - I hope that she can heal from it.
This
heal from what exactly? by not enjoying hookups ?
Heal from the negative feelings she got from these experiences. That doesn’t require her accepting hookup culture or seeing them as positive. She has a right to her opinions about what is good or bad for her body, mental health. As she stated, hookups made her feel bad, so I hope she can process those feelings in a healthy way and not let them haunt her. I don’t believe healing means accepting, but rather understanding and moving on with your life.
There is no such thing as not seeing sex as not intimate. sex can never be a "playful" experience for anyone no matter how much people try to convince themselves. There is nothing positive about hookup culture.
@@Elaine-lc8lc oh okay , I didn’t mean to sound rude btw .
I don’t think you should feel bad about regretting them. I think a lot of people share your feeling about it. Seems to me that anyone having “meaningless” sex with someone is either lying to themselves, doesn’t know themselves yet, or is some kind of sociopath😂 It’s another common lie people are gullible enough or naive enough to buy into when they are young because it is an impulsivity thing- it’s empty. 😢
agree so much that i have to screenshot it
So true
Hooking up is just an empty place so that's not how the relationship is it's u related with them and then ship is u are going to go down with them or try and find a boat to live in other words to live and die with them rather then being apart to take care of yourself
I’ve spent the majority of my life being afraid of sex because so many traditional people hated on hookup culture. I recently lost my virginity at 25. Sex really isn’t as big of a deal as I was led to believe. Hookup culture is neither good or bad. Waiting until marriage is neither good or bad. It all depends on the individual. I just wish people stopped telling others how to live their lives.
I loved casual hook ups when I was a drunk. Cant imagine wanting this now I've sobered up
Why do you think?
The part where she says that almost immediately after hooking she wanted to get “as far as possibly” for that person… I so get that. I actually feel like that every-single time I hookup with someone. At first I thought I was wrong and I even thought “maybe I should go to therapy for this”. I guess I feel a little bit better knowing I’m not alone in that feeling. What it is? I still don’t know.
then stop hooking up maybd 😂
@ wow i never thought about it before, thanks
Maybe hook up with people you get along with? Just an idea
Honestly 50 hookups in year is not even normal tho 😅😂😂 low key something wrong with ppl
im demi i could never 😂
I lost my v card to a hookup in my early 20s. You basically took the words out of my mouth, there's nothing else I can add. Only did it once, and decided that was enough
A buddy of mine is also a late bloomer who had a crush on a girl, but at the same time had this other mysterious girl wanting to hookup with him, I told him not to do it as a fellow late bloomer but he gave in to his urges too. He called me a couple days later saying I was right and that it just didnt feel right lol. He gave himself a couple months to process that away and decided he really wanted to go after the girl he had a crush on. They are an item now and he's happy
you are very courageous, and intelligent and self-aware for expressing your inner feeling in such an intricate way. These traits should be enough to give you the confidence you sought after when you were engaging in casual hookups. Best of luck to you.
I been single for like a decade plus and it’s not a choice. Either I don’t have options or don’t know how to create options for myself. At this point, I’m trying to exist lol
empty is so true. i always describe it that way too. i never had casual hook ups but even sexting felt empty.
The only incel thing I kinda agree with is that there isn't a dude alive who has the issue of "I'm always just in a relationship." Like you can straight up go years between relationships.
love this and resonate with it so much. sex can be so emotionally and spiritually draining and is truly something sacred.
I am here with you! I was the black sheep amongst my peers. Tried it, hated it… I preferred long term relationships. I am a married woman in my thirties now. Honestly… everyone I saw participating in hook up culture in college seemed pretty miserable. My observation was that many girls used hook ups as a way to find boyfriends. Terrible way to go about it but it was so normalized. I call that period in my life “the dark ages.” lol.
proudly waiting till marriage :)
it’s nice to hear this opinion from a woman. feel like this opinion on this subject has been shunned in the name of “fun”…good for you girl. your respect for yourself is beautiful
This revelation for me really clicked after becoming sober. Thank god
I love this. Young people need to hear this kind of honesty.
"Rejected by a few guys I've dated" 🤣 women really do live in a completely different world than men.
which episode is this?
I relate to this so much
Yea no i’d rather be alone for the rest of my life than be a part of hook up culture lol
Same. Looks likes its going that way.
Where can I watch this?
Completely unrelated, but does anyone know what sunglasses those are?
No but I was just thinking about how much I do not like them
I 1000% relate to this. 1000%
Hooking up is very fun , people who don’t are ugly and boring
i felt the same way and than i realized that i was experiencing conviction from God as a form of protection from doing something so intimate with people i don’t love and who don’t love me. i remember you saying you went to catholic school and even if you don’t believe in God, prayers that people have prayed for you in that period of your life can still be protecting you to this day. they say rejection is often a form of protection, so maybe when you felt rejected by men in the past, it didn’t feel good but it was actually protecting you in the long run. love you and ur content ❤❤❤
Where do you guys watch this
This should be considered normal and not abnormal. Obviously not shaming anyone who does participate in hookup culture, but you’re literally inside someone who is a complete stranger. Like you cannot get any more physically close to them. Overall I think most of society will begin to realize how empty and unfulfilling hookup culture is to their spirit, in the long run.
I never understood, or took part in, hook up culture. It just sounded ridiculous to me. I’m not sharing my body with a random stranger!
There just seems to be no point, no deeper meaning. Just doing it, just to do it. And that always sounded so mind-numbing and bleak to me.
I’m quite comfortable being single and focusing on myself.
Girl we came to the same exact conclusion.
My demisexual ass agrees with the sentiment of how twisted and gross the hookup culture truly is. I’ve never wanted to participate in it, and I’ve been chastised for it. Called old fashioned etc. Ridiculous. Sex for me is one of the most intimate things you could possibly do with another person. To do it with a total stranger is absolutely baffling to me. To me sex is something sacred, private and very special only to be shared with that special someone. If that makes me a prude, old fashioned or weird I’ll take those titles as compliments. 😊😂
As a sex addict that has the desire to have sex 8x a day and have had multiple male partners i have to agree with you. I felt like i loved a part of all of them that's the only way i could sleep with any of them is if i cared and loved them in some way. To me it's not normal healthy safe or morally okay to just have hookup culture. Sex has meaning even to a sex addict like me
1:50 stop because the same thought process led me to try it and absolutely never again
i think i'm lucky to have found out early that i hated hookup culture. i actually couldn't have sex until i was 22 because i had a case of vaginismus and it makes sex super painful. after i received PT and treatment for that, i had a fwb for several months and i had a situationship with this guy that i basically fell in love with but it fell apart bc he was so avoidant. i then went on with plans to hook up with this guy after that situationship and i was genuinely so disgusted even just giving him head. i had to get up and leave before intercourse happened. and in a weird way i'm just glad i left before anything went further. i think i shared that airbnb with him for a total of maybe 15 minutes before i got up and left. with maybe 2 of those minutes being sexual activity. i can't hook up with people. it feels disgusting from the get go.
This is the most gen z image of all time.
what are those glasses please emma i nEED THEM
Every individual's dating story is valid, remember that guys
THIS IS SO ACCURATE.
Just wanna say Hi My Name Is John Constantine and I am here at about 880 subscribers. I just wanted to leave this here, so when your podcast blows up and you become famous I can say I was an OG fan.
“They’ve seen a side of me that a very few amount of people have seen” it bothers her and will bother anyone for that matter because you realize someone sees a side of you that’s sacred. IT IS SACRED!! God made it that way!! Sex is for people who are in a covenant, people who are becoming one, a team that is never supposed to separate. Your body is for one person, those emotions and feelings that come with that are for one person. How special is that. Nobody but you and that one person get to experience together.
y r there no comments about tucker
?
i hooked up ONCE with a guy and i never felt so dirty about myself/body afterwards. Like the segg was ok, but I felt like it just didn't make sense. I felt like I wasted time and I was dirty. NEVER AGAIN
You're so cool Emma
I have been in a relationship for 11 years and before that was in a 2 year so I missed the hookup culture. My question as a guy is, what happens if you bust quick or just have an off night? Meanwhile youre with someone who doesnt really care about you and have to sit in your foolishness. I can understand how a on the whim hookup can be exciting if it goes well but the chances it doesnt go well is just too much to think about.
I felt different, I qlways fell for them, like HOW???
but for healthy ppl when its a hookup its a hookup and thats it, nothing else
I didnt regret it but I needed a lot of time to get over it
I totally relate to this. Casual hookups should not be normalized 😢
Facts i feel like that ❤❤
Rules and restrictions are to protect us believe it or not we all in time realize the Bible was right.
You did give something away. May God continue to steer you from these harmful experiences and bring you home 😊
Valid
me as a gemini:
Guy here. Gemini. I have the same story as Emma. I think it's just the internet that makes it seem like everyone is scummy because everything is a) so magnified b) pushed directly in your face by algorithms.
Wait ... I thought hookup culture was the epitome of female empowerment?!?
Maybe it’s just me but people put way too much meaning into hookup sex which is almost inherently supposed to be meaningless. We’re both there to have a good time and get off. No one’s forcing anyone to partake. I wish it was more common and sex wasn’t so hard to come by for most guys.
Yup
This is soooo biblical
So she is basically saying that she has over 25 bodies?
Where did you get that from lmao she said she had 1 and a half casual hookup
@ lmfao yeah that’s hook ups but that’s not accounting for the multiple “boyfriends”
maybe this is why God says don't have sex before marriage??
Not everyone was raised with that, and figure it out through experience instead xx
Or just have sex when you love someone?????
It's easy to not have sex before marriage when you get married at 12 and die during childbirth
Marriage isn't necessary to maintain an intimate committed relationship.
I agree
Jesus loves you :)